"I should be charging for this, you know," Freydis said, smirking at me. "This should be my day off, and yet I was still somehow suckered into work."
"I am paying," I grumbled, clutching my middle. I wasn't usually prone to motion sickness, but this boat ride was bringing up some unpleasant memories. "I told you we'd go out. Not for coffee, but a proper date. I might even let you get to first base."
It wasn't like I hadn't already kissed a woman, so most of the intimidation factor was gone. Though now that I'd thought about it, most of those women had kissed me not the other way around. Was there just something about me that communicated 'bottom energy' to sexually aggressive and liberal women? I hoped not.
I was monitoring the tracking spell closely while Freydis steered us further into Lake Michigan. I was using Harry's old standby as far as my tracking spell went, wrapping a thin strip of cloth around an amulet and letting it guide our path like an ostentatious compass. The method was less efficient than I liked, but using my usual practice of using geometry and the sensitive skin of my lips felt a little embarrassing, given the medium I'd decided to work with. It shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, given how intimate Thomas and I had been in the past, but no one ever said sexual shame was logical. I had Mom to thank for some of my more deep-seated neuroses where premarital sex was concerned. Dad just seemed grateful that I hadn't lost my virginity to Nicodemus, of all people.
The spell was difficult to work over water and required constant attention. I couldn't really afford to get into a flirting session with Freydis. I kept Thomas' in the forefront of my mind, bolstering the spell with every feeling and impression we'd ever shared. Every blissful moment when his Hunger touched me. The infinitely gentle care he took to only sponge away the worst of my suffering, replacing it with calm contentment in the aftermath. The depths of compassion and comradery we felt. And yes, the affection we shared, however strange and tenuous it was.
"He may react poorly," Freydis said in a more somber tone. "He clearly wanted to disappear. If he decides to make it an issue, how do you want to proceed?"
I hadn't wanted to consider that possibility. If Daniel was right and Thomas really had been manipulated by an outside force, I could be walking into a very dangerous situation. Thomas' demon knew where I was weak, and he'd use it to his advantage in a fight. It was one of the reasons I'd opted to bring Freydis, instead of one of the others. They all had connections to him, however distant. They'd hesitate and it would cost them. Freydis was motivated to do what was necessary but would stop short of lethal force for her employer's sake.
"Incapacitate him if you can," I said at last. "I need to get a picture of how deep the meddling goes and proceed from there."
Freydis didn't look happy about the answer but accepted it with a nod. She really did seem to care about me in her own way. My only other contact with a genuine valkyrie was Sigrun, who regarded me with the same wariness one gave a temperamental dog. She didn't trust me around her boss. Which was fair, given what my former boss had done to him. I hadn't been a part of the team that had trapped Marcone and almost killed Sigrun, but it didn't seem to matter. I was guilty by association and if I even twitched in the wrong direction, she'd act with extreme prejudice.
I returned my attention to the tracking spell. If our map was right, it was leading us in a fairly steady line toward a central hub of ley lines. A small island had formed over the spot hundreds of millions of years ago. In the not-too-distant past, it had been populated for a short time, until the genius loci of the place had driven everyone insane in an effort to get them off its land. The city had scrubbed all records of the place, but a few people with enough brains, balls, or were just plain bonkers enough to try had found their way there recently. People like Nicodemus, who'd used the isolated land to hold the Archive in a greater circle of power. People like Harry, who'd apparently claimed it as a sanctum.
The island was a frequent backdrop for my nightmares. I could still feel the presence of it, even with my senses blunted by Lasciel's careful control, and it saturated my dreams, adding dimension to the horror of my memories. I couldn't imagine why Thomas would think to go there, but if we kept on track, we'd arrive on the island's shore in just a few hours.
"Is there any truth to the rumors?" Freydis asked after about ten minutes of silence.
The question caught me off guard, and I glanced up from the spell, scrutinizing her face. Her expression was open and curious, rather than accusatory, so I didn't think I was in for the third degree. Still, it was best to approach the conversation with caution. Freydis might have liked me, but she was still a supernatural contractor with ties to the Raiths. Lara and I weren't exactly on the best of terms, given that I'd killed one of her cousins. Anything I said or did could be conveyed to Lara at a later date.
Or I could be a paranoid nutcase, completely out of touch with normal human interaction. It was possible she'd sensed my dip in mood and was trying to take my mind off the current dilemma. Or maybe she was as unnerved by the direction we were going as I was, and needed to fill the silence with chatter, rather than really contemplate what we were walking into.
"Rumors are usually bullshit," I muttered. "But what rumor are we talking about, specifically? There are plenty of them. Most people don't even know what my face looks like, let alone my name or what I really do. I particularly like the one where I'm an escaped mental patient who stole my armor from a rotating exhibit of the medieval period and went on a vigilante crusade. Though the one where this is all some sort of publicity stunt on behalf of an upcoming movie is fun too."
"No. The ones about Marcone."
"That he's got his thumb in every pie from here to Houston? That one's probably true. The man does have a talent for buying or bullying his way into power."
"No," Freydis said, turning the wheel when I motioned for her to correct course. "The one about you and Marcone. Together."
That succeeded in capturing my full attention. Together had better not mean what I thought it meant, in the context of the conversation. Because if together meant together I was going to have to track down the asshole who'd opened his big, stupid mouth and sew it shut for him.
"Together?" I asked tightly. "As in...?"
"Together," Freydis said. "As in, involved. Some of the einherjar have speculated. I don't put much stock in locker room talk, but I thought I'd ask. I am serious about pursuing you if you're open to it, but I won't waste my time if you're taken. Marcone isn't the kind who shares well."
"Taken," I repeated, cold fury ringing in every syllable. "By Marcone?"
Freydis raised an eyebrow, nonplussed by my anger. "I take it that's a no, then?"
"Why does everyone always assume I'm screwing the bad guy?" I demanded. "Do I just scream 'trampy co-villain?' Do I still have some of Lasciel's stank on me, even after all this time? Because it's the only reason I can think of that anyone thinks that I'm boffing John Fucking Marcone!"
She laughed, which only made it worse. I could feel an angry flush rising up my neck. Was that what all the trash talk from my sparring partners had been getting at? Did they really think I was screwing my boss to get ahead? Was everyone's opinion of me really that low? None of my so-called friends had alluded to it, but if they believed it too...well, it was one more reason not to trust me.
Freydis must have caught my expression because some of the good humor drained from her face. Her brow scrunched, and she half-turned to face me, still keeping one hand on the controls.
"I didn't mean to upset you. It was just a question. I thought you'd heard those rumors by now. And like you said, most rumors are bullshit. Not everyone takes them seriously. I was only asking out of courtesy."
"But enough people believe it to make a difference," I said quietly. "Especially people like Murphy, who really only know me through the lens of Lasciel. I was...well, oversexed is a mild way to put it. Seduction is her M.O. and let's face facts, I am a temptation to anyone who likes leggy blondes. I drop her coin, I disappear, and then when I show up again, I'm working closely with Marcone. What if they think...?"
My eyes itched fiercely and it was hard to breathe around the lump in my throat. I'd tried to distance myself from the other's minds, and Murphy's in particular. It wasn't a pleasant place to live, and I had enough pain and doubt to work through without adding her burdens to the pile. Would I have seen this coming if I'd been paying close attention? I'd already known they suspected I had a coin on my person. Was it really such a leap to believe I was sleeping with Marcone to get more resources for their half of the Chicago Alliance? Would there ever be a time when I could squirm out from under the reputation I'd earned for myself all those years ago and earn their trust? Or would I constantly be pushing a boulder uphill, only to get crushed under the weight of my own disappointment time and time again?
"It doesn't ultimately matter what they think," Freydis said. "And it wouldn't be any of their business even if it were true. I'll never understand the puritanical need most Americans have to police each other's sex lives."
"It does matter," I said, dropping my gaze to the amulet in my hand. It was still pointing in the direction of the island. Damn it. "They're supposed to be my friends. Do they really think I'm that...cheap?"
Freydis' voice was a bit sharper when she said, "Anyone who believes that is no friend. I do happen to know you outside of Lasciel's influence, and you've never struck me as fickle. If you were with him, it would be out of respect for who he is not what you could gain from the partnership. And from what Sigrun says, he's much the same way. I suspect the idea comes from that end, not yours. As you said, you are a temptation and he does have a history with leggy, semi-unstable blondes. He also holds you in high regard."
"Bull," I said quietly. "He doesn't think of me like that."
Though Freydis wasn't the first to suggest otherwise. Bob had been pretty set on the idea that Marcone wanted to do a live reenactment of every trashy billionaire romance ever written with me as the swooning heroine. I'd chalked it up to his wishful thinking. Anything to get me into bed, and preferably at an angle he could watch. But with Freydis' words fresh in my mind, I had to wonder if there was more to the theory.
She shrugged. "Perhaps not, but it's easy to see where the idea might come from."
"Well, it doesn't matter what Marcone does or doesn't want," I said after a while. "Because I already happen to have a date. And besides, I've always had this thing about girls with red hair."
Freydis' smile could have lit the whole cabin. I let some of her bubbling enthusiasm ease the knot of tension in my chest. I couldn't afford to agonize over rumors at the moment. Not with Thomas out there being preyed on by an outside force. Puzzling out the motives of the Baron of Chicago could wait for another day.