"How'd you bind this idea to his psyche?" I asked before she could begin her sales pitch. I didn't have the patience to deal with that trite nonsense until I knew that what had been done to Thomas was reversible.

Lasciel twitched her shoulders, unconcerned. "I spoke to his other half. It was happy to oblige me. It finds the limits placed on its appetites quite cumbersome."

My brow furrowed. "You talked to his demon? How?"

Her smile turned up a fraction. "You were not the only one who knew its touch that first night. We spoke at length while the pair of you were occupied. I convinced it to spare your life in return for a favor. A small nudge, weakening Raith's defenses, and an inroad to place something more solid, not unlike the foxhole you used to scheme in secret. It has been gaining in strength. I was almost certain it had you last Thursday. He was stronger than I anticipated."

A pit formed in my stomach. Last Thursday. Thomas hadn't come out here to commit suicide. He'd come out here to stop himself from enslaving me at the cost of his own life.

"He's a good man," I said quietly. "And you aren't doing yourself any favors by pitting us against each other like this."

"He is a danger that I cannot abide. He will eventually kill you if things continue as they are. Your health will deteriorate, and eventually your heart will give out. And that's assuming he doesn't kill you outright in one fatal feeding. You can only cause each other pain."

"Pot, this is kettle speaking."

She pursed her lips. "I made several errors when we were together. I won't repeat them. But surely you must see the necessity? The enemies you face are formidable, and you have precious few allies. Renewing our partnership would be of benefit to both of us."

I scooted a little further away from her and stared out at the waves, rather than the serenely smiling fallen angel. She wasn't saying anything that I hadn't thought of before. I'd come close a few times when the losses were too much to bear. Without Thomas siphoning off my desperation, I would probably have done it by now. Anything to make things that much easier. Harry's actions, no matter how well-meaning, had opened the door to something worse than the Red Court, and we were all paying the price.

"I can see how it would benefit me. I'm in hot water. But what about you? What do you get out of this if I say yes?"

"You," she said simply.

That succeeded in drawing my eyes back to her. Her pale eyes were somber, free of any mockery. She was serious.

"It's never that simple. You're pissed that I dropped you. No one in recorded history has ever done that, and it hurt your pride."

She inclined her head in acknowledgment. "True. It was a blow against my ego that you decided to part ways with my coin, but things between us have changed."

I gave her a hard stare. "Because I said 'I love you?' That doesn't change anything, Lasciel. I've known that for years, and it didn't make me reach out to you. You're bad for me. End of story."

"It changes things for me," she hissed. "I saw when it began. The confrontation with the Outsider. You caught a glimpse of me. You knew me as intimately as any human has, though the scope was hopelessly hampered by your mortal limitations. I expected a rebuff, but you took it in stride. I put it down to your superior ability to compartmentalize, but that wasn't it, was it?"

"No, it wasn't."

The memory of Lasciel in all her corrupt glory was still enough to drive me to my knees, weeping. A soiled avenging angel, beaten down but not broken. There was something beautiful and compelling about the struggle, futile as it was. All her wit, her charm, the genuinely affectionate gestures she'd made over the years. Seeing her like that had planted the seed and had made me grasp, for just a moment, her God-given purpose. And I'd accepted it. All of her, filth and all. I'd begun to suspect that was the moment I'd conceived. I couldn't recall a time we'd been more thoroughly enmeshed.

"I will never have that again," she said, lifting a hand to touch my face. She sighed when I cringed away from her. "It's limited by the constraints placed on your existence, but it is more than anyone has given me without coercion. I want it. I want you."

"If you want someone who will accept you regardless of your sin, you need to take it to upper management. As you said, I'm limited. Burdened by resentment and broken trust. I can't give you what you want, but I know someone who can."

Her expression hardened. "Not this again."

I smirked. "You proselytize to me and I'll proselytize to you. Now how do I get this thing out of his head?"

"You agree to my terms."

My lips mashed into a thin, frustrated line. "I'm not taking up your coin."

"I cannot compel you to do so without impinging on your will. Breaking your mind would defeat the whole purpose of this exercise. I wish to meet."

"No way in hell. I remember what you did last time."

"In a neutral location, overseen by a third party you trust," she insisted. "Meet me in one year, and we'll see if you feel as strongly then as you do now. I imagine another year of this will convince you more thoroughly than anything I do or say. I will leave the vampire unharmed as a mark of my sincerity."

I swallowed thickly. She was probably right. I'd only been at this for a few months, and I'd already come close to my breaking point several times. Only Thomas had kept me from tumbling over the edge into the start of madness. I needed him alive and unharmed if I wanted to keep myself in one piece.

"McAnally's," I said after a moment.

"Swear it."

"You have my word. I won't try to wiggle out of it."

She smiled, and it felt like a drop of sunshine suffusing my chest. This was the Lasciel I missed.

"You are welcome to call upon me anytime before then, lover." She leaned forward and gave me a sweet, lingering kiss. "I look forward to seeing you again. I'm certain time and circumstance will change your tune."

Then she was gone, leaving me pressed to Thomas' chest. His breaths were shallow but even. He was alive. The knot in his psyche had unraveled, leaving a neat little hole where it had been. I rolled off him, lest the nightie burn him down to the bone. I lay on my back, the warmth fading as I considered what I'd agreed to. Lasciel would cheat. She always did. I just had to be ready for it.

I wasn't sure how long I lay there, staring up at the trees, stewing in the island's juices, and the uneasy knowledge of what I'd done. I didn't bitch when Freydis emerged from the trees, took a look at us, and sighed.

"Can you stand?" she asked.

I tested my legs. Unsteady, but functional. It took a few tries, but I rose to my feet. I needed rest and a meal before I'd be a hundred percent.

"I'm okay. Can you carry him? I'm beat."

She nodded. "Is it taken care of?"

"As far as I can tell, but I'll want to follow up, just in case."

So I could collapse the inroads Lasciel had built in his mind. I didn't trust her not to take advantage between now and our meeting. Freydis lifted him from the ground, arranging him into a princess carry. It would have been an amusing role reversal in other circumstances. At the moment, I just felt sick.

We didn't speak again until we'd laid him out on a cot in the lower decks. Freydis watched the island disappear in the rearview mirror, a frown on her face.

"You sensed the Sidhe, right?"

"Yeah. Not sure what I can do about it though. It's strong, and it has the island's support. I'll probably die if I try to breach the circle."

"Agreed. So we leave it for now?"

I could only manage unhappy silence as assent. Leaving a man to the whims of an evil faerie went against everything I stood for as the Black Knight. I was meant to save people, not leave them to the monsters. But I couldn't save anyone if I died in the attempt. I'd take a page from Marcone's book, and tally it as a win. I'd saved a life, even if I'd failed to preserve another. It was net zero, and I'd have to be okay with that.

I'd repeat the mantra until I believed it.