28 – Damage Control

DRACO

This was probably normal for her. Something weird and dangerous like this happened to her every year. First year, she'd gone after the philosopher's stone. Second, she sneaked into the Chamber of Secrets. Third year she'd somehow gotten involved with Sirius Black's flight and a horde of dementors. And fourth year? That had been worst. And not because of the dragons or the lake, or the maze… It had been worse because he'd actually cared if she lived or died. Just like he was now.

What was even worse now was that he had no idea where she was or exactly what she was doing. The only thing he knew was she wanted to save her godfather and apparently Death Eaters were involved. His own father probably. What if the Dark Lord was there as well? What if they tortured her again? What if they killed her?

The thoughts made his insides fill with cold. He had to do something. If only he knew what. Sighing, Draco sank back against a tree.

Well, maybe it was best to get out of the forest first… Then he'd have to find out where she went and figure out how to get there. It seemed like an impossible task. Where could she be? He should have asked her! But then, she wouldn't have told him. She'd made it quite clear she didn't want him to come along. If only he had some kind of lead… Some kind of…

But he did have a lead. Snape. Haley had told him something. She'd given him some kind of hint, obviously hoping he'd help her. Because no one else was there. It was strange that she asked Snape of all people… But who was he to complain? He had a lead. Now he needed to follow it.

…

Snape wasn't in his office. Or if he was, he didn't answer. Well, that sucked. What was he supposed to do now? Look for him inside the whole castle? There had to be something else he could do… The one time he really needed Luna's help and she was off to –

Luna… she was with Haley now. She'd make sure she wasn't hurt. She'd protect her… right? And who's going to protect Luna? Why did she even take Luna and not me?, he wondered grouchily, kicking the ground in annoyance. Well, obviously she doesn't need you for protection. And Luna's dad isn't a Death Eater, a mean voice added in his mind. Before he could let this rile him up, something made him stop. Protection…

Luna had mentioned something about it. In her endless project with those strange golems. Where were the notes? If he couldn't get to his friend and his girlfriend… maybe he could protect them from afar…

…

Although she was only a fourth year, there obviously was a reason why Luna was in Ravenclaw. She'd given him her research notes weeks ago hoping to get his opinion or something but he had been too stressed about exams to spare a look on them. He found them inside his History of Magic book of all things. But what was more important was in how much detail his friend had explained and listed how she thought the golem magic worked and what to be careful of. It seemed she'd been especially fascinated by this branch of magic. In childish scrawly letters it said:

Properties:

- Protection of spellcaster

- Transportation (only if location is known)

- Immeasurable power

Draco found the part about transportation especially interesting. He circled it. Along with the section about protection. It was a pity he didn't know where they had actually gone. He'd worry about that later. In another paragraph it said, that he needed desert rose petals in order to bring the golem to life. But where could he get those from?

Maybe… Snape had them in his private supply… It was no use. If he wanted to activate this stupid creature he needed them.

…

Stealing the petals was almost too easy. So, when Draco sneaked out of Snape's supply closet, he wasn't too surprised when someone intercepted him.

"There you are! What were you doing in there?" Pansy asked. She still looked a bit ragged from the hexes earlier. He probably didn't look better.

"Nothing important." He replied, quickly stuffing the ingredient into his pocket.

Pansy narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Doesn't look like nothing important."

Draco huffed impatiently. "Well, I gotta go. So, if that's all." He whirled around. Where was the best place to activate the golem?

"Hey – you can't just – wait!" Pansy screeched, following him uninvitedly. "What are you planning? I can help."

"Fine. Where's the best place to summon an ancient creature?"

"Probably the girl's bathroom on the second floor. Nobody uses it. Ever. Because of that insufferable ghost."

"Oh. Guess, that's good enough then." He replied, surprised she'd answered so readily, not even asking questions.

"So, what kind of creature are we summoning?" Pansy asked curiously.

We? Well, maybe she could be of assistance. At the least she could stand guard outside.

"You'll see." Was all he answered.

…

After getting everything he needed from his own supply, Draco began setting up his cauldron and all the ingredients on the girls' bathroom floor. It felt good to be doing something. Better than sitting around, waiting for something terrible to happen. There. Everything was ready. The last thing he needed was… his little golem puppet. He fetched it from his bag, reading through Luna's notes one last time.

"Is that a golem?" Pansy asked, sounding clearly shocked.

"Yeah." He said absently. "So?"

"You can't awaken it!"

"What?" He frowned.

"Don't you know how dangerous golems are?" She sounded earnestly worried now. "My uncle tried to get control of a golem to become more powerful. Do you know what happened to him? He was the most powerful magician… for a few hours. But then he fell into a coma. They say it swallowed up his soul. In any case… it was only his body that was left when he woke up. His soul… never returned."

The words made him shudder. But…

"I don't want power from it." The golem sounded a bit like a dementor. Why did all these creatures always want everyone's souls? At least this one offered something in return.

"What do you want then?" Pansy wanted to know. She still seemed upset. Her eyes fell on his notes. He hid them behind his back.

"Protection?" Pansy questioned. He hadn't been fast enough. "Why do you need that?"

"It's not for m-" He bit his lips, before he could say too much. It wasn't usual for him. This lack of control.

"Not for… you?" Pansy completed his sentence. "Then who…?" Her eyes darkened suddenly. "It's for her, isn't it?" She spat angrily, taking another step toward him. Draco's heart stopped. Did she… know? Was that possible? "Because she went off with Potter and her friends?"

"I don't know what you're-"

"That loony hag you spend all your time with! Don't you think I've noticed? Meeting her in the library? Whispering together on the school grounds?" Was she talking about… Luna? "I thought you were using her for some secret plot – or making fun of her like everyone else – but this? Risking your life? What is that lunatic to you? What did she do?" Pansy stomped her foot dramatically.

Draco didn't know what to say. "I'm not – she's not – I…" He was running out of time. And out of patience. "You're wrong, okay? I don't have time to – I thought you were loyal. Will you help me or not?"

For a moment it seemed like she was going to either argue some more or burst into tears. In the end she did neither.

"Fine, I'll help." She offered. "I can… stand guard outside."

It wasn't a bad idea. There probably wasn't much else she could do at the moment anyway. At least she'd be out of his hair like this.

"Good." He said, going through Luna's list one last time. It was a bit complicated but there was a reason Potions was his best subject.

"Fill up that cauldron with water, would you?" He instructed, still looking at his list.

Nothing happened. He looked up, finding the gloomy bathroom empty. Looked as though Pansy was already gone.

He sighed. Well, that was even better. It was easier to concentrate without her blabbering.

The first steps were an easy routine. Heating up the water. Adding ingredients. Stirring the liquid. He'd done that a thousand times. He didn't know how much time had gone by when the potion was ready and it was time to sprinkle the golem with it. He filled up a small flask with the light blue liquid, ready to pour it over the golem.

Only, the golem wasn't there any more.

"Pansy", he hissed in irritation. That was why she had been so eager to stand guard outside. She'd stolen the golem. How was he going to get it back now? She was probably long gone.

Draco was about to go insane when the door suddenly opened.

"What is the meaning of this?" Snape entered the room in a swish of dark robes. The door closed behind him with a soft click. Draco wasn't sure whether to be happy or anxious about finally seeing him.

"You are foolish enough to try your hand at golem magic?"

"I – Did Pansy–"

"Yes, luckily for you, your class mate was clever enough to inform me of your incredibly reckless endeavour."

Of course it had been Pansy. Who else. He should have expected something like this. And where was she now? Hiding in shame? Typical Slytherin. He'd deal with her later.

"You have to help me, professor. You know where Haley went, don't you?" He knew he sounded desperate but who cared at this point.

The man lifted an eyebrow. "I was of the impression she went somewhere with Professor Umbridge."

"I know that!" Draco said impatiently. "After that I mean. She said she had to go rescue her godfather!"

That seemed to surprise him. "She did?"

"Yes! I know she gave you some kind of hint. You have to tell me where she is!" Draco demanded, his patience all but gone. "I can't protect her if I can't find her!"

"Protect her?" Snape echoed almost amused. "With this?" He conjured up Draco's golem with a flick of his wand.

"That's mine!" Draco stepped forwards, reaching for the little puppet, but with another flick Snape made it disappear again.

"That is foolery." The man replied calmly. "I honestly did not think you would go to such lengths." He took in the bathroom that he'd turned into a small potions lab. "More capable and powerful wizards than you have tried their hands with this and paid a terrible price for it."

"You don't understand! She'll probably have to fight Death Eaters! What if they torture her again or worse?"

"And you are going to do what? Play the white knight in shining armour?" He snorted. "What would your father say?"

"He won't know it's me if the golem fights for me!" Draco argued, a tad defiantly.

Snape sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again he looked incredibly tired. "There is nothing you can do, Draco."

"What?" He asked weakly.

"I am sure Potter will return safe and sound like she always magically does."

Draco wanted to scream. "What if she doesn't this time? Tell me! I won't use the golem, then. I'll get there some other way!"

"How?" Snape asked. He even sounded curious.

"Broomstick, floo network… There are many ways."

"I see. You will go there and then… fight against your own father?"

Draco wanted to stomp his foot. But he still remembered how undignified that had looked when Pansy had done it.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing!" He kicked his bag angrily. It was a bit more dignified than stomping his foot. "If it was someone important to you, you wouldn't sit around either!"

The man raised an eyebrow. "Fortunately, there is no one I would ever do something this foolish for."

"No? Not even Lily Evans?" It slipped out just like that. His last trump card.

Snape didn't react in any way. Or was that a flicker of something in his dark eyes? He couldn't be sure. Maybe it was nothing but the light.

The man raised an eyebrow. "And who might that be?" His voice sounded no different than it had before.

"The witch from your story." Draco replied. "You told me about her that night. You knew each other as students." Still no reaction.

"Interesting story. You certainly have a wild imagination." Snape said calmly. "But you will understand there are things I have to take care of-"

"She's the reason you're helping me, isn't it?" Draco interrupted him. "She's the reason you haven't told anyone about Haley and me. She was Haley's mother."

Snape's lip curled dangerously. A sure warning sign. But there was no going back now.

"Help her." Draco almost pleaded. "If you won't tell me where she is, at least make sure nothing happens to her."

It was silent for a moment. Draco almost thought the man was going to hurl a curse at him.

Then he finally broke the silence without cursing him. "You seriously need to learn when to speak and when to be quiet. You do realize that you cannot prove a single thing you just claimed?" He didn't wait for Draco to answer. "I will do what I can. You however will remain here and refrain from doing anything remotely stupid."

"But I-"

"I would also advise you to stop trying to find out things that are none of your concern about someone who is willing to help you. For now."

Rather than advice it seemed more like a warning. If he kept digging around his past, their secret would no longer be safe with him.

"Well, then, there is no time to be wasted." With that and a quick move of his wand, Snape made Draco's cauldron and his little flask disappear, leaving no trace of ingredients or formulas or even the idea of bringing a golem to life.

"My potion! What are you doing?"

"Keeping you from doing anything stupid." If this had been anyone but Severus Snape, he might have winked at Draco. "Honestly, I would expect this kind of behaviour from a Gryffindor." He sneered. And then he rushed out of the door.

Draco wanted to follow him but on top of everything the door was locked. Ridiculous.

Would he be able to unlock it with an Alohomora? There was only one way to find out.

…

SEVERUS

How much he hated teenagers. They were even worse than children. Children were merely annoying. But teenagers with their hormones driving them mad were indisputably unbearable. If it had been him he would not have acted in such a thoughtless manner. Draco used to be such a promising Slytherin. One of his finest students. But now his headless behaviour reminded him more and more of a Gryffindor's. A golem. Where had he gotten the idea? Not even he himself would entertain the thought of obtaining a golem's power. Looking through the notes he had taken from Draco – judging from the script someone else had written them – Severus began to wonder. Perhaps it could work. The person who had written this had obviously put a lot of thought into circumventing the problems one faced with this cunning creature. He was almost tempted to test it. Not on himself of course. But if there was a willing test subject…

Severus stored away the thought for later. There was no place for his never-ending curiosity in the dark arts now. If it was true what Draco had said, it meant Potter was still convinced Black was in danger. He knew that was not the case. He had checked. But as it seemed Potter had gone off to an ill-advised rescue mission that was not necessary at all.

And now it was on him again. Should he look for her first? Perhaps she was still in the forest. But that was unlikely. From what Draco had said, it was more likely that she was already on her way to the Ministry. While there was nothing he would like to do more than going there himself to save her, of course he could not do that. If he did not want to blow his cover that was.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Was that the beginning of a headache he felt?

Grimmauld Place would be his next destination then. Hopefully, one or two members of the Order would be there, relieving him of this bothersome task.

…

"Black." He said, walking past the man into the entrance hall.

Black watched him suspiciously. "What now? Finally bored of torturing innocent children?"

Severus smirked. "Not yet. I assure you that is much more entertaining than sitting around playing house all day."

Black pointed his wand at Severus. Obviously, he had hit a nerve.

He drew his own wand just as quickly, thinking of a fitting hex but before he could decide on one that was nasty enough, the door to the kitchen opened.

"Sirius, who – Oh." Lupin came into the entrance hall, followed by Tonks and Moody. Lupin glanced concernedly at the two wands. Severus cleared his throat, slipping the wand back into his pocket. How come that dog always provoked him to such childish behaviour?

"Unfortunately, it looks like Potter has gone off to save him." He nodded toward Black, while talking to the other three.

"What?"

"Shit!"

"Me?"

"Him?"

It was too tedious a task to try and identify who had said what.

Severus sighed, rubbing his nose again. He could really do without a headache. He did not have a potion for that with him.

"Apparently she still thinks you were captured by the Dark Lord and is on her way to the Department of Mysteries."

"No." Lupin said. "Doesn't she know it's a trap?"

"You knew! Why didn't you tell her?" Black thundered, grabbing Severus' collar.

"Get off me." Severus hissed, shoving the man off him. "She was already gone when I returned." He sneered sourly, smoothing out his robes. "Which is why I am here. Rather than wasting time looking for someone to blame, you could be on your way to the Ministry now. Before the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters get to her."

His words worked like magic.

"Right. What are we waiting for?" Black said, filled with a sudden energy.

"We need to think of a strategy first." Moody argued. "There are probably much more of them than us. We should at least get some backup."

"We don't have the time for that! Haley needs us now!" Black protested, twirling his wand between his fingers.

"You cannot go, Black," Severus interjected. "Professor Dumbledore was very clear about his orders."

"If you think I'm staying here while my goddaughter is in danger-"

"He's right Sirius," Lupin agreed, touching his arm. "If someone sees you-"

"I don't care-"

"Someone has to stay here. The headmaster is planning to come by and someone will need to tell him what is going on. I, on the other hand will return to Hogwarts in case she is still somewhere on the grounds after all." Severus argued.

"Don't worry Sirius, we'll bring her back unharmed. You'll see." Tonks spoke up for the first time, patting her cousin's shoulder cheerfully.

"Kingsley and Mundungus'll meet us there," Moody informed them. Wonderful. It seemed like things were finally settled now. Severus honestly lacked the patience to deal with commotions like these. One after another the members of the Order rushed out of the house, leaving only himself and Black behind. He looked like he was about to storm out after them, when he seemed to think of something else.

"Kreacher!" He called, making the old house elf appear with a plop.

"The master has called Kreacher." The elf replied in a bored manner.

"Dumbledore will be here soon. Tell him Haley is in danger. She's gone to the Ministry and the Order is on their way."

"Kreacher will tell the friend of blood-traitors and mudbloods." The house elf said in a detached voice.

"Watch your mouth, you wretched little – what do you have there?"

"Kreacher found it on the floor."

"That's mine, give it to me!" Black snatched the object out of the small elf's wrinkly hands. It was a golem.

"Actually, I think this is mine." Severus argued, thinking that it probably had fallen out of his pocket earlier when he had drawn his wand.

"No, it's not." Black glared at him.

Severus sighed. This morning he certainly had not thought he would end up fighting about a puppet with Sirius Black. "See?" He pulled out Draco's golem notes and the flask with his potion he had confiscated earlier. "It all belongs to a student."

"What's this?" With a frown Black snatched the flask and the note out of his hand and scanned the words on it. "I know that script." He said in surprise, seemingly having forgotten Severus was still there. "It's from the same person who… Interesting… it might even work like that. Yes…"

Black seemed entirely focused on the note now. He was not seriously planning to…? Well, what did Severus care? Perhaps he was going to use it and Severus would finally be rid of a loathsome old acquaintance. Served him right for trying to get him killed by a werewolf all those years ago. Severus had done what he came here for. Now, there was a headache potion waiting for him in his office. And a foolish girl to look for. Of course.

…

HALEY

Sirius is not here…

Hermione was right all a long…

If everyone gets killed by the Death Eaters it'll be my fault…

A trap. Nothing but a stupid trap and she'd been foolish enough to walk right into it.

She had to get them all out of here safely.

Hermione, who had been cursed by a Death Eater.

Ron, who had been attacked by a brain.

Luna, who was probably still unconsciously lying under that desk.

Neville, who couldn't properly shoot a spell because his face was a swollen mess.

And Ginny, who had hurt her ankle somehow along the way.

She couldn't let anything happen to them. Any of them. All because she couldn't discern a nightmare from reality…

All those Death Eaters… It wasn't looking good for them. What had she been thinking?

"Give me the prophecy, Potter!" Just when Lucius Malfoy made another attempt to get the prophecy, the doors burst open and five figures stormed into the room. Sirius! And Lupin, Tonks, Kingsley and Moody! Maybe there was hope yet. It was so good to see her godfather alive after all the hours she had thought he was in mortal danger.

Now, she only needed to get Neville and check on the others.

"Tarantallegra!"

And just like that Neville was hit with a spell that made it impossible for him to stand, let alone walk.

"The prophecy, Potter!" Lucius Malfoy snarled again. It was disconcerting how much the voice reminded her of someone else's. His son's. His eyes, too were almost the same colour… Almost. They were colder. Much colder. Unscrupulous. She couldn't spot any warmth in them.

"Never!" Haley growled, shoving away the man's hands that had started to search her robe pockets. "Neville, catch it!"

She threw the small glass ball over to her friend and it was safe for the moment.

Until Lucius Malfoy lunged after him instead.

"Impedimenta!" Haley didn't hesitate a second. He wouldn't have hesitated either. For a moment she wondered if she was supposed to feel bad about it… Then the man reappeared in her sight, pointing his wand at them, face an ugly mask of anger.

This time it was Lupin who knocked him out, yelling at her to get the others and leave.

That was easier said than done with Neville kicking out his legs uncontrollably. Kicking holes into the air until he accidentally hit the prophecy.

And just like that it was gone. In a way it was ironic. If the whole situation wasn't so serious, she might have laughed at the absurdity.

"Haley, I'b sorry!"

"It doesn't matter." It was more important to get to the others now. Hopefully everyone was okay –

"Dubbledore!"

What? Haley turned around. It was Dumbledore indeed. Suddenly, she felt really calm. It was going to be okay now. Dumbledore was going to save them. The Death Eaters didn't stand a chance…

Most of them were already trying to get away, afraid of an old man in a purple cloak.

But there were two people who were still in a fierce duel. Sirius and Bellatrix Lestrange.

There was something strange about Sirius. An odd orange glow seemed to come off him. He seemed younger somehow. Full of power. Like he was having fun. It had become a rare expression on her godfather's face.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" Sirius yelled, dodging a flash of red light, aimed at him.

Another stream of light came for him, hitting his chest this time. The smile on his face froze, giving way for surprise.

No. Haley thought, as her godfather slowly fell backwards.

No.

His face seemed to crumble…

Like it was made of stone…

His body, too, slowly dispersed into tiny grains like it was made of sand…

What's happening?

"Sirius!" Haley cried, plunging, falling down the stairs toward the dais where her godfather had been standing, fighting only seconds before.

"Sirius!"

A surge of wind took up, making the strange veil behind Sirius flutter.

One second he was still there, giving her a rueful smile.

Then the wind took him away, behind the veil, leaving nothing but little grains of sand in the air.

Haley couldn't find her breath. "Sirius!" She cried, asking – no ordering her godfather to stop hiding behind that stupid veil and come back to her. How could he scare her like that? How could he – make her wait and –

She was going to bring him back. She only needed to look behind the veil and then –

"There's nothing you can do, Haley." Lupin said, grabbing her, holding her back, stopping her from getting to Sirius –

"Let go! He's right there – we just need to–"

"It's too late, Haley."

"No!" She struggled against his grip. "No, we can still save him – we can–"

Then the next words mercilessly destroyed her world. "There's nothing you can do, Haley… nothing… he's gone."

…

DRACO

He was locked. In this infernal bathroom. He didn't know for how long he had been sitting here. Worrying. It might have been hours. The waiting was the worst. Making his imagination run wild, painting scenarios of Haley being tortured or dying in all kinds of brutal ways.

He shouldn't have let her go. He should have insisted to come with her at least.

This helplessness was slowly starting to drive him mad.

Along with the annoying ghost who apparently haunted this bathroom. After asking him who he was and what he was doing in her bathroom he had simply ignored her. He wasn't in the mood to chit chat with anyone. The least someone who so uncomfortably reminded him of Pansy.

He couldn't just sit here and do nothing! If there really were Death Eaters involved, she was in grave danger. What if she's already d–

"No!" Draco yelled, jumping to his feet and slapping his head in frustration. "You're not allowed to even think that!"

"I see, you've started talking to yourself now," the whiny ghost commented with a pout. "You might as well talk to me."

He continued ignoring her. "She's fine," he told himself, starting to walk back and forth in the dank bathroom. "Just fine. You don't need to worry."

"Who're you worried about?"

"I'm not worried," He said, trying to convince himself. It wasn't working.

"I met a girl once who worried herself to her death." She sighed, floating through one of the sinks. "Not at all spectacular, I know. Who're you worried about?"

"I said, I wasn't worried-"

"I know," she interrupted him. Why was he even talking to her? "Is it a girl?" Her voice got a half-curious half-disappointed tinge.

"Why would I tell you that? Why would I tell you I'm worried sick about – I just–" He buried his face in his hands. "This is so hard – just waiting – wondering if something happened – I should have gone with her!"

"Knew it was a girl," the ghost said, definitely disappointed. But Draco wasn't really listening to her.

"Gone where? Did she die? The girl?"

"No!" He thundered, his breathing quickening. "She'll come back. She promised."

The ghost scoffed. "Promises. Should've gone along then. You wouldn't need to rely on promises that way."

She was right. Surprisingly but completely right.

"What stopped you?" The ghost asked, a tad more gentle.

"I couldn't go because…"

"Because…?" The ghost floated closer to him, leaning her translucent head against one of the broken mirrors.

The question was easy. The answer was anything but.

"I'm a Slytherin," he whispered, not quite sure himself what he meant by that.

Slytherins aren't brave. They don't risk their life for others. They don't save anyone but themselves.

She's a Gryffindor. She can take care of herself. She's brave. She doesn't need me.

She didn't want me to come.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I was scared. I'm not brave. She doesn't need me.

Draco shook his head. Was that really why he had stayed back?

"That's a pretty bad excuse if you ask me." The ghost said loftily. "Seems like that girl's not so special after all."

Draco stopped his pacing and whirled to her, meeting his own eyes in the mirror next to her. They seemed wild. Frenzied. "She is! If anything happens to her I don't know what I-" He breathed heavily. "I don't know what I'd do."

The admission seemed to gut him. Tear him apart from inside. What did it matter now? Being scared of his father. Being scared of the other Slytherins. What would they think of him? If they found out he was in love with a Gryffindor? With the Girl-Who-Lived?

But then… if anything happened to her… if she was hurt, tortured or worse… and he did nothing to stop it…

How could he face himself again? How could he go on… without her? The thought was pure agony.

It seemed obvious now. Terribly, stupidly obvious.

Months and months he'd agonised over this…

His dilemma… the question… the choice.

But in the end it wasn't a choice at all. He couldn't bear, going through this kind of torture another time. Wondering if she came back, unable to fight alongside her, to support her.

He didn't want to go through that again.

He wasn't going to.

He only hoped he hadn't come to that decision too late.

…

HALEY

Nothing Dumbledore told her was important. If he'd told her weeks ago she would have listened gladly. Sucked up every last word. But now?

What did any of it matter? What did anything matter?

She wanted to destroy the whole office. Wanted to yell at him. Be angry at this man who was so calm, when her whole world had just been burned to ashes.

But then that didn't help either. She wished she could simply stop feeling anything at all.

She hadn't known it was possible to feel this much pain.

It was burning her up alive.

Testing her. Mocking her.

How much more pain can you bear? How strong are you really?

Everyone always told her how strong she was.

But she didn't feel strong now. She'd never asked for any of it.

She'd gladly hand over this burden to someone else. Let someone else carry the weight for once. Why was it supposed to be her burden in the first place?

If there was a switch turning off feelings altogether, she thought, I'd flip it without hesitating.

…

SIRIUS

He was floating. This was what sand grains felt like, whirling around, taken up by a breeze in the desert.

Free…

He was finally free.

Weightless…

Bodiless…

No longer confined in that house he hated more than anything.

How strange that he could still smell it, though. Musty, mouldy. That foul smell of mothballs and dead flowers.

Was this death? It smelled like hell.

But it kind of felt nice…

How strange.

He kept floating.

Free at last.

Until the walls started closing in around him.

Leaving no way to escape.

Fitting.

Freedom wasn't a gift. One had to fight for it.

He'd fought for his freedom all his life. Why would it be different now?

…

A/N: ... Uh... I don't even know what to say. You guys still there? Did you survive the angst? I'm really curious what y'all think of this :)

Btw, a few notes on the continuation: So, I've been thinking a lot about how to continue this or if I want to continue this into 6th year at all. And I've come up with two possible plotlines. One is going to be extremely dark and angsty and the other still angsty but overall a lot lighter and not that tragic. I'm leaning towards the lighter version actually because I feel like I should give the characters a break xD
But if people are also interested in the real dark stuff, I might write an alternate version?
I think you will understand what I'm talking about after the last chapter. Also, would you prefer if I continued this here in Dreams of Today or should I start a separate fic for 6th year? It doesn't really matter but... well. If I continue it here, this story will really become a monster fic :D

Fun fact: I listened to "Scream" from HSM3 on repeat when I wrote the Draco POVs. It was super inspiring :D