EPOV
What was that?
I shook my head as I went through Rose's messages again.
I knew she wanted nothing but the best for me.
She wanted me to move on and find happiness.
I also knew that I had to move on at some point.
I was not a moron. I fucking knew that!
But... It was not easy!
I just can't get the thoughts out of my head that Tanya was gone because of me, and I would be moving on with someone so easily. Everyone in my family and those stupid therapists tried to explain that to me, but... its was not that simple!
I knew that's life, and that's how it worked, not how we'd have wanted or preferred, but I just couldn't move on.
I took the baby step of going out with Bella. To be honest, I had no idea how I had gotten so lucky to find her. I honestly didn't think it was in me to give anything another chance, but I felt so at ease with her. I honestly thought everything would fall apart just after the first date, but somehow we clicked!
I should have stopped before she'd get so attached.
I should have stopped before she started to have some false hopes and expectations.
She looked extremely hurt today.
Should I call her?
But what exactly should I tell her?
"What if I wait?" I remembered her asking me that desperately.
Nobody should be that desperate in the relationship.
If she could look around, I was pretty sure she'd come across someone much better than me!
But maybe we could remain friends? I mean, we were good friends, right? Ending the relationship didn't mean we had to end the friendship as well.
No, that wasn't going to work. She had started developing feelings for me, and it was not going to bring her anything but pain and hurt. Just I was fucking lonely loser, didn't mean mean she had to waste her time to give me company as a 'friend'.
It had ended for the better.
I guess now we'd just need to move on.