Oh, I won't be silent and I won't let go

I will hold on tighter 'til the afterglow

And' we'll burn so bright 'til the darkness softly clears

~ Ed Sheeran, Afterglow

EPOV

Up until this moment, I had a lot of regrets. In the thirty-five-years I had been alive I had made more than my fair share of shitty decisions. It wasn't my place to lash out at Irina when she told me she was pregnant, like the situation wasn't just as much my fault. I should have filed divorce papers the moment I found Irina in bed with my – former – best friend. Our agreement to pretend for the sake of the public perception and the kids never should have happened. Our relationship, our marriage, never should have happened in the first place.

Most of those decisions centered around my desire to give my kids the best life they could have. And while it was hard to regret having that mindset in the first place, I didn't go about it in the best way.

Somehow, kneeling on the ground with a black velvet box in my hand made all of those regrets disappear. Because without them, I wouldn't have her. And without her… what was the fucking point?

"Yes."

I swallowed, my voice tight before responding, "You have to at least let me ask."

My lips twitched with a smile as I watched her. She was practically vibrating with what I hoped was excitement. Her hair blew softly in the wind, the scent of the perfume I bought her a couple days ago floating in the air around us. The red dress I had thought about every day since I saw her hang it up swirled around her legs.

"Oh, right," she mumbled, shaking her head and fisting her hands at her side. Almost like she was holding herself back. "Sorry. Go on."

Her words were fast and jumbled and made me smile. Because I knew. This moment was what all of the stress and drama and lonely nights were for. Every bad decision I had made that led to me on this roof could no longer be regretted.

I heard her breath huff out of her nose as I knelt there, knowing I was testing her patience. I wanted to remember the moment though, every little detail from the color of her dress to the way her big brown eyes were gleaming down at me.

I could barely get my voice above a choked whisper. "Marry me?"

My breath was knocked out of my lungs as she fell into me, her arms tight around my neck as she nodded into my shoulder. My arms tightened around her waist, velvet box still in one hand as I kept her as close as possible.

I was blinking back a few of my own tears when I heard her sniffle against my shoulder. I couldn't remember a time when I had seen her cry out of anything other than anger or frustration or sadness. Her mother had given her the false idea that crying made her weak, so I knew she held them back more often than not.

I pulled away slightly, cupping one of her cheeks and brushing away a few fallen tears. My lips pressed against her forehead, the only three words I could think of popping out of my mouth. "I love you."

It could have been her adrenaline crashing, or her weight shifting as we knelt awkwardly on the ground together. Could have been half a dozen other things, but when I felt just about every inch of tension leave her body as she leaned against me I couldn't help but hope she was finally letting go of her childhood, even just a little bit.

Because I wouldn't let her be alone ever again. Wouldn't let her go a day without knowing she was loved and cared for and needed.

"I love you, too," she stuttered, a couple more tears falling onto my shoulder.

"Your ring," I said with a smile, pulling the box up between us and lifting the lid.

It had taken Lucy and I weeks to find the right one. We were both adamant that we would know when we saw it, and after online searches and trips to about every jeweler in town, we had easily agreed on this one when we came across it.

It was a pear-shaped diamond, a cluster of about a dozen smaller stones encompassing half of the centerpiece, more embedded in the rose gold band as it would wrap around her finger. I already had her wedding band, too, which would fit nicely around the bottom half of the diamond, finishing the pattern of smaller stones encompassing the entire thing.

It wasn't the kind of ring you saw on every other woman as they walked past you on the street. It was unique and beautiful and as soon as I saw it I knew it belonged on her finger.

"Wow," Bella gasped, her eyes falling to the box as I held it open.

I plucked the delicate piece from the box, carefully sliding it onto her shaking finger. I pulled us both to our feet, brushing some dirt off of Bella's bare knees as I stood up.

Her eyes never seemed to leave her finger. I watched with a smile as she wiggled her fingers, the moonlight shining beautifully on the diamonds.

"Do you like it?" I asked, suddenly nervous.

Her answering snort was all the answer I needed.

I had let my nerves get the best of me as the night had gone on. It had been my plan to propose to her on this roof for months, before she had even booked me back on SNL. It was a nice little twist of fate, us unknowingly recreating the beginning of our relationship this past week. Under much more pleasant circumstances this time.

Still. It didn't matter how many times we had talked about it, or that a very high Bella had heard my entire plan and visibly swooned in the car as I confessed all of my plans. Every reason she should say no started to run through my head as dinner was ending and we were on our way back.

I couldn't remember a single one now.

As if on cue, her eyes met mine as I watched her admire her ring. There were still tears swimming in them, but there was a new fire burning her chocolate irises. I didn't get a chance to try and decipher it before her lips were on mine in a kiss that I wouldn't soon forget.

Thanks to her heels, Bella barely had to stretch up to my height. Her arms were in a vice grip around my neck, every delicious curve of her body pressed firmly against mine. It was her moan as my tongue caressed hers that broke me, though. That had me stumbling blindly across the roof, unwilling to let more space than absolutely necessary come between us, until I pressed the button for the elevator.

Once the door was open, the car blissfully empty, I had her backed into a corner after pressing the button for our floor. I had a moment of clarity, realizing it would be far too long for my liking before I could have her all to myself, that I shouldn't let things get too out of hand just yet. That moment was shattered when nails dug into the back of my neck, pulling me back down for the kind of kiss that chased all rational thoughts away.

It was a good thing nobody else tried to get on the elevator. Or, hopefully it was. I might not have noticed them if they had.

Bella's back fell against our door with a thud. Her hand dug into my suit coat pocket, pulling out my wallet and fumbling through it looking for the room key. I snatched it out of her hands as soon as she found it, sliding it through a couple times before the satisfying beep told me it finally worked.

It really was a shame that rational part of my brain stopped working in the elevator. Because my hands were on her ass, my teeth digging into her plump bottom lip when a chorus of congratulations sounded throughout the room.

Bella froze in my arms, stepping out of my grasp much too quickly, and turned to face my, our, family with wide eyes.

I saw Rosalie get to her first, a second before I felt my mother's arms wrap around me.

…Closure…

"Is she pregnant?" Seth's question caught me by surprise, making the sip of beer I had just taken get caught in my throat.

"No," I choked out.

Seth nodded, taking a swig of his own drink. "Just making sure we weren't repeating history."

I shook my head. While I would be ecstatic if Bella came to me tomorrow and told me she was pregnant, I was looking forward to having her all to myself for a while. I was also glad to finally be doing something in the right order for once.

"No," I echoed. "Not pregnant."

"Good," Seth said, a little too quickly to be as nonchalant of a question as he was making it out to seem.

"She's your good karma," Sam added as he walked over. "It'd be a shame if you knocked her up too quick."

"My good karma?"

Sam and Seth were an… acquired taste. Both equally nosy, though Seth did a better job at hiding it. They used their meddling for good, though. Usually. They were also a couple of the most fiercely loyal people on the planet. Outside of Irina and Demetri, they were the only two people from high school I still knew.

"Yeah. You put up with Irina and Demetri for years. Sat back and tried to do what was right for your kids even though you were miserable. Now, the universe has rewarded you with a twenty-three-year-old plaything. Don't knock her up too fast."

I wasn't quite sure if I should be offended, or take Sam's words as a compliment. My eyes floated over toward the living room, where Bella sat on the couch, surrounded. Rosalie had been glued to her side since we walked in the door. My mother too, after I got a quick hug and congratulations. Alice, Jasper, Masen, Lucy, Emmett, my father… they were all there. Smiling and laughing and giving Bella the family she deserved. Hell, Lady had even made the trip over with Rosalie and Emmett and was curled in a ball in Bella's lap.

"She's not just a plaything," I sighed, taking another sip of beer.

"We know," Seth agreed. "But she is twenty-three and you're about to turn thirty-six. It's something you should take advantage of while you can."

I rolled my eyes.

"You were more than forthcoming with details about your other trysts. Then, you start fucking someone half your age and we don't get any details. It's tragic, really."

Sam stopped talking at my glare. Yes, their gossiping ways might have rubbed off on me from time to time. I might have told them some not so appropriate things about some women I had been with in the past, but Bella was different.

Always had been.

"What we're doing a piss poor job at saying is… we're happy you're finally happy," Seth finished.

Before I could say anything, a familiar set of hands wrapped around my forearm.

"I'm supposed to be the one that hides out in the kitchen during parties," Bella joked with a smile.

My lips twitched as I looked down at her. "I wasn't hiding. I was getting a beer when I was accosted."

"He's being dramatic," Sam sighed.

"We really are happy for you two."

Another interruption showed up when Lucy joined our growing crowd in the kitchen.

"How do you feel about camping?" Lucy asked Bella, a serious curve to her brows.

If I hadn't spent a somewhat alarming amount of time studying Bella's face, I would have missed the flash of horror on it before she was able to control it. Seth and Sam must have seen it to, though, because they wandered off snickering.

"Camping?"

"Yeah, every summer we go camping for a weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandma is trying to convince Aunt Alice to come right now."

"I can guarantee you Aunt Alice will not be going on your camping trip," I told Lucy. My sister was not a camper. Neither, it seemed, was Bella.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "It'll be more fun with more people. Do you want to come?" Lucy asked, eyes on Bella. Before I could jump in, Bella answered.

"Let me know the dates and I'll check my calendar."

Lucy seemed pleased, wandering off to try and guilt Alice into camping next.

"Please, don't make me go camping," Bella groaned as soon as she was out of earshot.

I chuckled, setting my beer on the counter behind me and pulling her around in front of me. "Have you ever been?"

"No," she scoffed. "I'm a big fan of electricity, though. And running water. I do have to work, too. A weekend without the internet really is – "

I pressed a quick kiss to her lips, stopping her rambling. Even if it was adorable.

"You don't have to go. It's Mom and Dad's thing, anyway. My mother can't let any event stay small, so she probably started the whole more people more fun theme. Don't worry about it."

Bella let out a sigh, her forehead falling to my chest. My arms rested comfortably around her waist, my first moment of relaxation since this afternoon washing over me. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the comforting scent of strawberries washing over me.

"I can't wait to marry you."

Bella's head turned up toward mine, a smile so sweet and endearing and pure aimed at me. Me.

I cleared my throat, taking a step around Bella before I did something indecent. After taking a large swig of my beer to finish it off, I turned toward the comfortable crowd in my suite.

"It's getting late," I stated bluntly. Not to be an insensitive asshole to my family and friends, but because I was more than ready to have my fiancé to myself for a while.

The process took longer than I would have liked, but eventually everyone had said their goodbyes and were on their way out the door. Even Lady, to both her and Bella's dismay. Rosalie sent me a wink as she was leaving, muttering something to Bella about her being too busy to take care of Lady tonight. I didn't hear the whole thing, but whatever she said made a beautiful blush creep up Bella's cheeks.

Before everyone was out, I pulled Masen and Lucy to the side. I had told them both months ago that I was going to propose to Bella, wanting to give them time to get used to the idea and make sure they were both okay with it before I asked. Neither looked at all surprised when I told them. Hell, they seemed more excited than anything.

Still. I spent the months since telling them waiting for some kind of freak out. A teenager sized tantrum for putting their life in limbo or for bringing in a new person or for having a job that meant their friends knew far too much about my personal life than I ever would have liked.

It never came. And it made me realize they were seventeen. Practically adults. And as proud as I was for them moving past their misplaced anger at Bella, it was a hard pill to swallow that they weren't the tiny little toddlers that I would have done anything to protect anymore.

"You guys okay?" I asked, fully anticipating the double eye-roll I got.

"Yes, Dad," they said at the same time.

I resisted the urge to ask if they were sure. "You want to come in with me tomorrow morning?"

I got an excited nod from both of them, then dual groans as I pulled them both tightly against me in a hug.

"Love you, guys," I mumbled, probably too low for them to actually hear. I would have gotten another groan, anyway. "Be ready at eight, okay? I'll come get you."

They nodded, following my parents out the door. As soon as the suite was blissfully quiet, I squeezed Bella's hand in mine and pulled her into me.

"Hey," I sighed, my forehead falling against hers.

"Hi."

I squeezed her hand again, the cool metal of her engagement ring sending a surprising surge of possessiveness through my veins. She was mine. This beautiful, intelligent, strong woman was mine more than she ever had been or ever would be anyone else's. The diamond digging into my finger would finally tell everyone that looked at her that they were too late.

My eyes studied her face, from the curve of her nose to the arch of her brow as she looked up at me. Whenever I brought up the gaggle of men that would be waiting for her if given the chance, she was adamant about there being no one. I saw them though. Every day. And while I knew most of them would probably be a better match for her on paper, no one would ever love her like I did. Could. Would.

A smile tugged at my lips when she suddenly fell a few inches in height, her heels kicked to the side along with the remnants of my self-control.

My lips fell to hers in a kiss that did nothing but stroke the sudden, uncontrollable fire in my chest. Based on the sharp tug at my hair, I wasn't the only one on the verge of losing it.

My hands went to the back of her thighs, lifting her up quickly in a move we had come to perfect. Her legs were tight around my waist as I made quick work of the distance between us and the bedroom.

Bella had managed to unbutton nearly my entire shirt by the time I dropped her to her feet in front of the bed, pushing it off of my shoulders a few seconds later. I had been eying the zipper down her back every time I had the chance tonight and quickly slid it down until her dress pooled at her feet. She was left in nothing but a scrap of black lace around her hips, the sight making an uncontrollable groan tickle the back of my throat.

Her hands went right to my belt, but my patience was weaning and I had her on her back in the middle of the bed before she could make much progress. Strong thighs wrapped around my waist, fingers immediately buried in my hair as I slid my tongue around her nipple.

I smiled to myself, watching the peak harden, feeling her other do the same between my fingers. Ever since I was a teenager I had been more about the ass than tits, but goddamn if I hadn't become a convert. I smiled against her flesh, my teeth taking a not-too-sharp bite at her as she pressed herself against my cock.

She wasn't a plaything. Not the way Sam and Seth had joked about earlier. But, she was damn fun to play with. And knowing that I would be the only one to ever get to play with her made every moan and groan she let out all the more satisfying.

It probably should have made me feel like a bit of a creepy old man, but watching her discover her sexuality was unbelievably rewarding. I remembered our first time in this bed clearly. The fumbling hands and the deep red blush and the nerves that radiated off of her.

There were no nerves now. She was confident, she knew what she liked. She knew what I liked, pulling a grunt from me as she tugged at my hair. The blush was still there, but not as deep. I could usually deepen it by whispering an unedited thought into her ear.

It was never a given that sex would be good. She wouldn't know, because I made damn sure it was good for her every time. I knew, though. And I knew I was a damn lucky bastard to have her underneath me.

"Edward," she moaned.

My tongue made one final swipe against her nipple before I let my lips wander down her abdomen. I smiled against her, feeling the muscles underneath me clench as I tasted every inch of her I could reach.

I slid the scrap of lace down her legs, tossing it behind me. Hooking my arms around her thighs I made myself comfortable between her legs. I pressed a kiss to the soft skin just underneath her navel, smiling at the sigh I got in response.

I kissed her from hip to hip, taking a quick nip at the inside of her thighs, before pressing a soft kiss to her clit. The tiny whimper I got in response was enough to send any thoughts about teasing her out of my mind.

An odd mixture of a growl and a groan rumbled in the back of my throat as soon as her taste hit my tongue. It didn't take long for her to start squirming, so I tossed an arm over her waist to keep her in place.

An impressive string of curses left her mouth as my tongue slid inside of her. Fingers knotted in my hair, keeping me in place. Even with my arm around her waist her hips bucked against me.

Replacing my tongue with two fingers, I knew she was close. Her grip on my hair tightened, her mumblings became more incoherent, and she came with a loud "Fuck" echoing throughout the room.

With a couple more kisses pressed into her thighs, I stood up at the end of the bed. I didn't expect her to follow me, sitting on the edge of the bed in front of me. Soft lips pressed against my abdomen as her fingers quickly discarded my remaining clothing.

Her tongue traced patterns softly against my skin, never getting anywhere near where I wanted it. She seemed to be enjoying herself, though, smiling up at me when her teeth would scrape against my skin and make me curse.

Finally, she pressed her lips to the head of my cock once, twice, three times before letting it slide past her lips. My fingers were quick to thread through her hair and guide her down as far as she could go.

"Christ," I groaned, looking down at her. It was a sight that visited me in my dreams more often than not; pretty pink lips wrapped around my cock, with deep brown eyes looking at up me.

I took a step back when I was on the brink of losing it. Nodding toward the bed, Bella scooted herself back until her head hit the pillows. I was on her in an instant, hooking a leg around my waist and kissing her until we were both out of breath.

I looked down at her, smiling at the flush on her cheeks and the fire behind her eyes. "You're so fucking beautiful," I muttered, brushing away a few strands of hair from her face.

"Edward," she groaned as I hooked her leg higher around my waist, lining her up with my cock.

"Hmm," I mumbled, giving the soft skin behind her ear the attention it deserved.

"I can't wait to marry you, either."

I smiled against her neck, pushing inside of her in one smooth motion. My impatience and possessiveness disappeared as we moved together. Her hips would thrust up to meet my every move like it was the most natural thing in the world. We fit together better than any two people had the right to, which made my jealousy and impatience and insecurities idiotic. Neither of us were going anywhere. I had the rest of my life to have her by my side.

Her nails dug into my back, her whimpering becoming more constant. She was close, and I was greedy enough to be disappointed that I couldn't hold out any longer, either.

"Come for me," I whispered against her lips, watching her face as she let go.

My head fell to her neck, my own grunts of my release muffled against her skin. Before I could collapse against her I flipped us over, letting her rest against my chest. It took both of us a few minutes to catch our breath.

My hands smoothed over her back, her hair sliding through my fingers. I felt her breath evening out against my shoulder, her heartbeat slowing to a steadier rhythm against my chest. It was quite possibly the most peaceful moment of my life. Probably because I knew I'd get unlimited moments like this for the rest of it.

"So far, I'm a big fan of being engaged," Bella sighed, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.

…Closure…

I watched her in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. We had a quick shower together, washing off the remnants of our night. She was adorably giddy. She had carefully put her ring back in the velvet box as we showered, double checking it before getting in with me. I wasn't sure if I had seen the smile fall from her face all night.

After she brushed her own teeth I saw her quickly reach for the box and slide the diamond back on her finger. She stood there for a minute, wiggling her finger and watching the light reflect around the room until her eyes met mine in the mirror. Her cheeks heated up when I sent her a wink.

Bella went back to the bedroom as I rinsed out my mouth. I followed her a few minutes later.

"So, how does it work?"

She was sitting up in the middle of the bed, a Tonight Show t-shirt hanging off of her shoulders. Her hair was still wet, falling down her back. My eyes zeroed in on her fingers, twirling her engagement ring in circles.

"How does what work?" I asked, picking up all of our discarded clothes from earlier and tossing them on the chair in the corner.

"The whole marriage thing."

I turned around toward her, my head cocked to the side.

"I mean, I know how it works. But, the specifics. Like, does Jenks do prenups? How long do they take to draw up? Where do I go to change my last name? Are taxes different when you're married? I barely understand them now. I just put my information online and – "

I interrupted her with a kiss, sitting down on the bed in front of her.

"We don't need a prenup," I started, surprised by the sudden frown on her face. "What? Are you worried I'll go after your assets?"

Her frown deepened. "No. I don't have any. But, you do. After all the problems you had with Irina don't you want to – "

I shook my head. "You're not Irina."

"No, but – "

Maybe I should have been more practical, but I truly didn't see the need for any prenuptial agreement. Even if, by some major fucking fluke in the universe, we ended up in the middle of a divorce, there was no way the woman in front of me would put up a fight over money or assets.

"We don't need a prenup."

She wanted to argue, I could see it in her eyes, but I didn't let her get a word in.

"I'm not sure about the name change. Alice could probably help you with that. I'll also set you up with my accountant. You'll never have to worry about your taxes again."

I pressed a kiss to her cheek, getting into bed beside her. It took her a minute, but eventually she curled herself into my side.

"I have another question," she mumbled softly.

"Okay."

"Is there an appropriate amount of time you're supposed to wait between getting engaged and married?"

I smiled into her hair. "We could go to the courthouse Monday morning if you'd like."

She was quiet for a minute, almost as if she were actually considering it. As much as I would love to be able to call her my wife in a matter of days, I had this vision of her in a white dress walking toward me that I was hoping to see come to life.

"Not the courthouse," she said quietly. "I like the beach."

I readjusted myself, lying on my side with Bella doing the same facing me. "The beach is good."

"Not in LA," she added quickly.

Most beaches in Los Angeles were busy. Anywhere in Los Angeles would be a paparazzi nightmare, anyway.

"I liked the Maldives."

I smiled, my hand squeezing her hip. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "It could be small. Just your family and Rosalie and Emmett."

I did some quick math in my head. I had no desire to draw out our engagement. After going to the Maldives for years with my family, I knew if we wanted to avoid their rainy season, and not wait a year and a half, we had to work fairly quickly. "Mid-October."

"That's in four and a half months."

"It is." It was after her birthday but before the holiday season began, so our anniversary wouldn't get lost in the bustle. It was also far enough away from Alice and Jasper's wedding anniversary and right at the end of their rainy season.

Bella nodded against my chest. "Mid-October."

I looked down at her, watching her lose a fight against a smile tugging at her lips. They were on mine a minute later, her leg hitched over my hip and the band of her engagement ring cool against my cheek.

A/N: Again… sorry about the wait. I do hope it was worth it, though :) See you again as soon as I can!