Last night was the last night of my past life
Got me here like you could never figure me out
Last night was the last time, was the last time
I never let you figure me out
~ Trevor Daniel & Selena Gomez, Past Life
BPOV
My eyes locked on the jagged, red skin that sliced down my abdomen before I turned to the side to zero in on the matching curved scar that slid along my hip.
For two weeks, I had successfully avoided looking at my body. I didn't need a visual to go with the constant aches and pains. I didn't want to know just how battered and bruised I was or see the scars that I'd be left with for the rest of my life.
Now that my stitches were out and I no longer had bandages covering the evidence, I figured it was time to rip off the last remaining figurative band-aid.
Most of the bruising had faded, only a few yellowish blotches lingered around my ribs. Those were easy to disregard. They would fade given more time. The scars were hard to ignore.
It was impossible to look past the places where doctors had my insides open and exposed, where they tore out shattered pieces of bone and suctioned out excess blood that had been slowly killing me.
I was thankful for everything they had done. I wasn't quite sure how you ever repaid the doctors that quite literally saved your life. Especially when one was your soon to be brother-in-law. But I was sure vehemently hating the scars they had no choice but to leave wasn't the way to do it.
I had never been the most confident person, but I could honestly say I had never hated the sight of myself more. There had never been a time in my life when the sight of my own body made my stomach churn with disgust.
"Everything okay?"
I flinched at the sound of Edward's voice, my ribs protesting as I quickly slid my t-shirt back down my abdomen.
"Yeah," I mumbled, fumbling with a tube of lip balm as a distraction.
My stomach twisted at my own lie even though I knew Edward could see through it. All the man had done for two weeks was take care of me. Even when he was at work he called me once an hour to make sure I was okay.
"Bella," he sighed softly, walking over. Approaching me like I was a skittish animal that could bolt at any moment.
Which I was. I constantly wanted to claw my way out of my own skin, search for any way to get back to the blissful normalcy I had two weeks ago.
I wanted Edward to be my fiancé again and not my caretaker. Jasper to be my brother-in-law and not my doctor. Rosalie and Emmett to be my friends and not my junior physical therapists.
Edward's palm cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing in feather light strokes underneath my eyes. "The scars will fade."
"Not completely. They're disgusting. I'm disgusting."
"Hey," he snapped.
I was unprepared for how harsh his voice was, how quickly his demeanor changed.
He didn't continue until I met his eyes. "Nothing about you is disgusting, Isabella."
I didn't believe him, and it must have been written all over my face.
"Bella, you have no idea how thankful I am for those scars every time I see them."
My brows furrowed.
"I thought I lost you," he said, his voice tight and face suddenly so distraught I felt tears immediately flood my lashes. "I thought I was going to have to plan your funeral, and that I'd be spending all of my time in the foreseeable future sitting next to your gravestone.
"Every time I see those scars all I can feel is complete and utter relief that they're there. That you're here."
My ribs protested as I wrapped my arms around Edward's waist, burying my head against his chest and doing my best to control the tears that were freely flowing down my cheeks.
It was easy to be selfish when you were the one lying, bruised and broken, in a hospital bed. It was devastating to be on the other side, watching it all happen and not being able to do a single thing to help.
The words that popped out of my own mouth surprised me. "Let's get married."
A small smile tugged at Edward's lips before he pressed them to my forehead. "I'm counting down the days, my love."
"No. Today."
Adrenaline shot through my body at the thought of ending the day as Edward's wife. Of him being my husband. It was something I could no longer wait a month and a half for.
Edward chuckled for a moment before he realized I wasn't joking. "Today?"
It was Saturday afternoon, which made it very unlikely it was something we could actually pull off. We already had our marriage license, but the courthouses would be closed.
The name Cullen pulled a lot of strings in this town, though.
"Yeah. Today."
It wasn't often I saw Edward flustered. His furrowed brows and confused eyes were cute. "You said you wanted a wedding."
"I do. And we can still have one. But I – " I shrugged, unsure how to put my sudden urgency to be married in words. "I just don't want to go another day without being your wife."
A slow smile spread across Edward's face, both of his hands coming up to cup my cheeks. He stared at me until he seemed to decide I was serious. "Okay."
"I know the courthouse is closed but – "
"I'll make it happen."
A firm kiss landed on my lips, the kind I hadn't gotten in weeks. I ignored the pain radiating from my ribs and the slight discomfort in my hip as I stretched up on my toes to make it last as long as possible.
…Closure…
As soon as the decision was made, Edward disappeared. Even though it was my idea, I waited for even an ounce of anxiety or a moment of doubt. Neither came.
I found a dress in my closet that fell down to the floor in white lace. It was casual, more of a sundress than anything with a deep v neck and spaghetti straps, but the dress was unimportant.
We would have our wedding. I would wear my beautiful dress and get to walk down the aisle toward Edward. We would celebrate with our family and go on our honeymoon and no one but us would know that we were already husband and wife.
Doctor Stanley would tell me I was making an impulsive decision fueled by my trauma. That I was scared of losing everything and instead of learning to live with the uncertainties of life, I was trying to control aspects of life that sometimes weren't able to be controlled.
She would be right.
I wasn't running away or hiding anymore, though. I wasn't keeping myself locked in a safe little bubble to try and keep myself from the harsh realities of the world.
I was accepting the fact that I could have died two weeks ago. That I could die tomorrow. And coming to terms with the fact that if that happened I'd like to have at least been happily married for however long fate allowed.
Curling my hair had been nothing short of excruciating, every twist and turn of my abdomen tugging my ribs in directions they did not want to go, but the end product was worth it.
I brushed my fingers lightly through my hair until it fell in soft waves down my shoulders. The necklace Edward gave me for valentine's day rested against my collarbone, glistening against a yellowing bruise that suddenly didn't fill my stomach with lead anymore.
On instinct, my hand reached for the cane I used to walk around these days. The last time I saw the doctor he said I knew how I was feeling best, that they couldn't give me a precise timeline for how long I'd need a cane or how long until I was back to normal.
I took a couple steps, my hand hovering over the bathroom counter in case I needed to catch myself. I was surprised at how stable I felt on my own two feet.
"Look at you go," Edward said quietly.
My gaze lifted from the floor to the doorway. He leaned against the wall, looking more handsome than anyone had the right to in a perfectly tailored black suit.
It should have been a little embarrassing that he looked that proud I was able to take a couple steps on my own, but after the last two weeks it was hard to be embarrassed about anything around him.
He helped me shower. Helped me get dressed. Edward had even braided my hair a few times when he saw me struggling against my ribs to reach up and do it myself.
Edward walked over, wrapping an arm securely around my waist while his other hand cupped my cheek.
"Are you sure about this?"
I frowned. "Are you not?"
A serene smile spread across his lips. "I'm sure. I just wanted to make sure you were."
"I could have died."
The words felt wrong coming out of my mouth, like they were a lie. The severity of the whole situation was hard to come to terms with. I wasn't sure if I had ever said the words out loud.
"I could have died," I repeated. "And I never would have gotten to be your wife. I don't really want to take that chance anymore."
His lips were on mine in a bruising kiss. His fingers flinched against my chin, like he was itching to grab me and pull me closer but thought better of it.
Without another word Edward grabbed my hand, walking slowly beside me until we made it to the backyard.
The rest of the house was empty, Masen and Lucy out with friends and Carlisle and Esme enjoying their first day back in their own home. There were two men in the backyard, neither looked familiar.
Edward introduced them, but a sudden spike in adrenaline made me immediately forget their names. I wasn't sure who they were or what they did but I didn't really care.
I stood across from Edward, his hands gripping mine nearly as tight as I held onto his. Lady sat right at my feet, oblivious to what was going on but wanting to be part of it.
Maybe it was a good thing, this pre-wedding wedding. Because as it was, I wasn't sure of a single thing the officiant said. I could hear my heart beating in my ears and my focus was solely zeroed in on the look of complete and utter happiness that covered Edward's face.
The face I would see first thing in the morning and last thing at night for the rest of my life. The one that never looked at me with anything but love and affection. That showed me life was more than surviving day to day.
I barely comprehended the shiny new ring he slid on my finger. My own fingers shook as I slid his on, tears blurring my vision before I could stop them.
The sight of a ring on his finger used to fill me with dread. Now, the cool metal pressed against my skin as he squeezed my hand and my heart stuttered in my chest.
"By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
It was hard to kiss when both of us were smiling, but not impossible. My arms wrapped around Edward's neck, the pain in my ribs not even registering in my mind.
"I love you," Edward whispered, so quiet I knew I wasn't supposed to hear it.
I buried my head against his chest, my arms wrapped as tight around his waist as I could manage.
My heart was racing. Tears streaming down my eyes.
But I had never felt more at peace.
…Closure…
Ever since the attack, there had been an undercurrent of fear constantly running through my veins. A paralyzing urgency I was simultaneously desperate to figure out how to get rid of and too afraid to do anything about.
I was only able to sleep because the pain pills knocked me out. As much as I knew everyone around me would protect me, the only moments of fleeting relief I had were when Edward was right by my side.
It made sense that, now that I knew I'd have him by my side for the rest of my life, that fear had disappeared.
I could breathe. Albeit a little painfully, but I could breathe for the first time in weeks.
For the first time since I met Tyler, if I was being brutally honest with myself.
That wasn't to say getting married had solved all of my problems.
I couldn't make love to my husband on our wedding night because my hip was still recovering and my ribs still broken. There was still a knot of dread in my stomach every time I actively thought about what had happened, still a team of lawyers trying to put Tyler away for as long as possible.
But the trepidation that had ruled my life for so long was gone. Because I wasn't trapped to a family that never wanted me anymore.
I wouldn't change my name until after our official wedding, but I was Isabella Cullen in every way that mattered now. Something about being able to shed the last name of Swan was more liberating than I could have imagined.
Which is how I ended up in my cozy home office the morning after Edward and I's impromptu wedding. I hadn't worked in the two weeks since the incident, hadn't even checked my phone for anything other than calls or messages from a select few.
I wanted my life back now, though. No matter how slowly I had to walk or how carefully I had to move.
Two soft knocks pulled my attention from my laptop to the door.
"Hey."
Husband. The thought brought an immediate smile to my face.
"Hi."
Edward had left earlier this afternoon to run some errands. Our Sunday had been surprisingly normal considering we got married yesterday.
"Do you have a minute?"
"Sure," I nodded. "If it's work related I'm not going to be very helpful though. I have three-thousand-two-hundred-thirteen emails in my inbox."
Edward scoffed, shaking his head. "It's not work related." He took a seat across my desk, pushing a leather folder toward me.
"What's this?"
My curiosity got the best of me, opening the folder before Edward could respond. I got my answer in the form of big, bold letters shouting back at me. LAST WILL AND TESTAMATE OF EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN.
I snapped the folder shut, as if that would make the file go away. My eyes burned into the man across from me.
"I had Jenks update my will after we got engaged."
"I don't – "
"If something happens to me, all of my assets belong to you."
That paused my panic. "What about Masen and Lucy?"
"They'll have access to trust funds they could live off of once they turn twenty-one. They are more than covered."
My teeth clenched. "I don't want your money," I ground out, pushing the folder back toward him.
Edward shook his head. "It's not that simple, not anymore. You're my wife."
Even in the middle of this depressing and traumatic conversation, those words made familiar butterflies float around my stomach.
"What's mine is yours. And if the last two weeks have taught me anything, it's that nothing is guaranteed. So, if anything ever happens to me, I need to know you're taken care of."
I wanted to argue, mostly because I didn't want to admit he was right. About nothing being guaranteed. If he had already finalized the papers, there was no changing his mind.
"Okay," I mumbled softly before opening the empty, bottom drawer of my desk and dropping the folder in. Hopefully to never see it again.
"You've been added to all of my bank accounts. Here's a list, and cards in your name."
I frowned down at the list, all of the various zeros so close together making them all blur. It wasn't like this should have been a surprise. We were getting married, and Edward had been adamant about having me use his credit card since we got the house.
It was still a little daunting, seeing my name on his account.
"How'd you do all of this on a Sunday?" I grumbled, shaking my head.
Edward shrugged, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
"Next time I'm at the bank, I'll add you to my account. In case you're ever strapped for cash."
A smile spread across his face, not an ounce of superiority tainting it at the joke that he would ever need money from me. He looked genuinely excited to be added to the account. "Okay."
He stood, walking around my desk and ending up right beside me. Gentle fingers brushed my hair away from my face as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. His kiss was firm, his tongue immediately brushing past my lips.
It was the kind of kiss I had missed out on the last two weeks.
"I love you," he breathed out, his lips brushing mine as he spoke.
A/N: not a word of this chapter was ever part of my plan. Then it just happened and it might be my favorite thing I've ever written? Its short and sweet, but I didn't want what was coming up next to taint it.
As always, I hope you all enjoyed and I'll see you next time!