And it was so nice

So peaceful and quiet

I forgot that you existed

It isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference

~ Taylor Swift, I Forgot That You Existed

BPOV

"Anything else?"

I opened my mouth, assuming something would come to me, but I had nothing. For the first time since I started seeing Doctor Stanley, there was nothing on my mind. No unwanted memories or feelings itching to get out, nothing weighing me down other than a few mundane work problems that were hardly Doctor Stanley's concern. "Um… no."

We both frowned at each other. My lack of a problem was a bit of a shock to both of us until a bright smile tugged at Doctor Stanley's lips. She set aside her notebook, leaning back in her chair. "Well, I guess we can call it a day, then."

"But," I frowned down at my phone to see the time. "We still have half an hour."

I had been seeing her for a long time, had been to my fair share of other therapists through the years too, and not once had I ever finished a session early.

"We could talk about the weather if you'd like?"

My mouth floundered, opening and closing a few times before I really accepted that there was nothing left to tell her. "So… I'm done?"

Doctor Stanley shook her head. "You had a rough start to life, Bella, and that doesn't just go away. But you've learned to accept it and move on. There's no guarantee you won't go through bad patches every now and then, and I do think we should still see each other, but once a week might be excessive at this point. We can cut back to twice a month and see how you're feeling."

"Are you sure?"

Doctor Stanley sighed and took a seat beside me on the plush tan couch I had become very familiar with. She looked over at me with kind, patient pale blue eyes. "When was the last time you were scared, Bella?"

I had to stop and think. The answer was so long ago that I had to stop and think about when I last walked around with that familiar knot of terror in my gut that used to be my constant companion. "Maybe… maybe a few weeks after the attack."

Doctor Stanley smiled. "That was months ago. You're happier than I've ever seen you, and you've been that way for a long time."

I nodded. I was happy. Had been blissfully happy since our wedding. Both of them, but especially the second one. I came home yesterday to a beautiful bouquet of flowers because it had four months since. At three months I got a beautiful pair of diamond earrings that I definitely didn't need but were too pretty to say no to. For two, I got a necklace that matched the earrings. For one, I got a night of practically no sleep but constant attention from my husband.

"Oh."

Doctor Stanley chuckled. "I'll still be here if you need anything. I promise."

With my extra half hour of freedom, I made my way over to Edward's theater. I could hear the laughter of the crowd as I walked through the back halls, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu distracting me as I remembered taking this exact walk the first night I met until that point in my life I was either sad or angry. There was rarely an in between. Even the first few times I met Edward ended in me losing my temper.

I let myself into his dressing room, dropping my bag on the plush couch and taking a seat next to it. Right where I sat that first night. Every single aspect of my life had changed since that moment. All it took was my life getting thrown upside down a few times for everything to work itself out.

I didn't regret any of it. Getting fired from Newton & Cheney, every night spent crying in bed after a session with Doctor Stanley, even the weeks spent rehabbing my hip. I would do it all over again if it meant I got to end up right here.

It was a sentiment easier said after the fact, but it was still true.

I smiled down at the diamond on my finger, jumping in my seat when the door swung open. Edward smirked over at me, untangling the mic from his shirt and tossing it out the door to a waiting PA. He shut the door, leaning against it with a casual cockiness as he eyed me. "Who the hell are you?"

My smile spread across my face. Because he always knew. What I was thinking—what I was feeling—usually better than I did.

Edward plopped himself down beside me, tossing his legs on the coffee table in front of us and draping an arm over my shoulders.

I relaxed against him with a sigh. "How was the show?"

Edward hummed, eyes closed. "Not as fun as ours."

I chuckled. Our show had seemed like a bit of a mess to me in the moment. I had no idea what I had been doing and then I was fairly tipsy for half of it. Edward brought it up every chance he got, though, because it had become the highest rated episode of his show to date. It made headlines for a week straight and, to my utter shock, the vast majority of them were positive.

Watch Edward Cullen Flirt with His Wife for Seven Minutes Straight.

Edward Cullen Interviews Wife and Publicist Isabella Cullen and Proves Everyone Wrong.

The Tonight Show donates $1 Million to Various Domestic Abuse Charities following Isabella Cullen Episode.

He had been nagging me about another episode ever since. I was pretty sure he just wanted to trick me into playing the gross food game.

"All jokes aside," Edward sighed. "What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at Alice's for dinner."

I shrugged. "Apparently I graduated from therapy tonight." Edward's attention snapped to me. "Kind of. Doctor Stanley said I didn't need weekly appointments anymore. I'll still see her twice a month. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I came here."

Edward eyed me for a moment, his confusion turning into awe. "That's amazing."

I shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal. I—"

"It's a big fucking deal, Bella."

I could see it in his eyes; all of the things he was feeling, reliving. And he was right. It was a big fucking deal that I didn't need to go to therapy once a week anymore. It was a big fucking deal that I hadn't let any of the shit that had happened the last year win.

"I guess so," I mumbled.

Edward tilted my chin up and pressed a quick peck to my lips. "We'll go out this weekend to celebrate. Just you and me."

I studied his face; the curve of his nose and the slope of his lips. I memorized every shade of green in his eyes. "Or we could stay in to celebrate. Just you and me."

I wasn't quite sure how long the honeymoon phase was supposed to last. Ours was frequently interrupted by the two teenagers we lived with, which might have been prolonging it. I didn't mind it, though. Living with Masen and Lucy.

They were home more these days than they used to be. Sometimes with friends, but it was just the four of us a lot. For dinners or bar-b-ques or movie nights. Masen and I would usually walk the dogs while Edward and Lucy cooked, because neither of us were great in the kitchen. He was ecstatic about having been accepted to UC – Davis, especially after we toured it a couple months ago.

I knew I loved the kid, but the sadness at his acceptance surprised me. Because it meant in a few months he was moving. It was only about a six-hour drive, but I was going to miss having him around. Going on our nightly walks. Listening to him rummaging around the kitchen at midnight.

Masen was a miniature Edward. Well, not miniature because they were about the same size these days, but they were uncannily alike. Had the same sense of humor and was entirely too easy to talk to. He was much more of a man now than the teenager who had answered the door the first day I met him.

Lucy was still undecided. She had excellent grades and had been accepted to a handful of schools, but had no idea where to go or what to do. Edward and I had been not-so-subtly mentioning every local school she had been accepted to.

They usually spent one day a week with Irina. Who had broken up with Demetri a few months ago. I hadn't seen her in months, and had no plans on changing that anytime soon. But it was nice, I supposed, that they were slowly rebuilding their trust in their mother.

So I didn't mind whenever my plans to spend a few uninterrupted hours with my husband were interrupted by a spontaneous trip for ice cream or a hike. I also wasn't going to take for granted an offer for an evening of just the two of us.

Edward pulled me into his lap, my legs naturally falling on either side of his hips. Gentle fingers tucked my hair behind my ear. "I'm really proud of you, Bella."

I kissed him once, twice, three times. Just because I could.

…Closure…

"Do you want to know a secret?" Alice whispered to me. We sat side by side in her living room after dinner. Jasper was off showing Edward and Masen the car he just bought. I only understood every other word they said as they wandered off to the garage. Lucy was sitting in a plush chair across from us, entertained by whatever she was scrolling through on her phone.

"Always," I said, taking a sip of the tea I had made for us.

"I'm in labor."

My tea got stuck in my throat as I sputtered. "What?"
Alice gave me a happy, lazy smile. "Yeah. I've been having contractions all day."

"Hospital," I gasped. "You should be in the hospital."

Alice shrugged. "They're still too far apart. They wouldn't admit me if I went."

"Well, fuck that," I snapped. "You're having a baby. They should—"

"I'll go once the contractions get closer together," she said patiently. She wrapped her arms gently around her belly, the picture of peace and contentment. "I'm so excited."

I swallowed back my question of whether she knew what she was about to have to do. Of course she knew. But Alice had enjoyed every single moment of being pregnant. She watched that birthing video I walked in on and told me it didn't seem so bad the second time around. She had a nursery stocked and ready for the little girl that was, apparently, about to pop right out of her.

My eyes couldn't stop darting from her belly to her face.

Alice chuckled. "You don't have to look so terrified. But, now that you know, there is something I wanted to ask you."

I took another sip of my tea, cursing myself for going with tea instead of wine. My voice came out embarrassingly squeaky. "Okay."

"Jasper is asking Edward right now, too. If you'll be Junebug's Godparents."

Junebug. They had chosen the name Juniper and had already given the little girl an adorable nickname. "I'm sure Edward would—"
"Not just Edward," Alice smiled. "You're a package deal. If anything ever happened to Jasper and I, we know both of you would take care of her."

My mouth opened and closed half a dozen times. Edward I understood. He was an amazing father. He would step in to raise Juniper without a second thought if—God forbid—anything were to ever happen to his sister and her husband.

Me, on the other hand… I had never held a baby in my entire life. I had been shipped off to which ever parent was baby-free for the time being while the other took care of their newest addition, then the process repeated itself when another came along. I had no fucking clue what it meant to be a parent.

Still, for some reason, my mouth decided to blurt out, "Okay."

Because Alice was more of a sister to me than any of my biological ones had ever been. Because Jasper was always there when you needed him, no matter what. Because even though the thought of being a mother to anyone absolutely petrified me, I would do it without a second thought for the tiny little human growing right beside me.

Two hours later we were at the hospital. We had barely gotten home when we got a call from Jasper that Alice was in active labor and was being admitted. I had no idea what the difference the active part played, because labor was labor and I would have rushed her to the hospital three hours ago.

Edward and I left Masen and Lucy at home, both having school in the morning, and made our way over to the hospital. Apparently after we left Alice and Jasper things started moving fast. I didn't ask for details, but things were already progressing by the time we got to the hospital so we didn't get to see either as we waited.

Which is how I ended up in the hospital gift shop, staring at a wall of onesies. I grabbed one from the rack, staring down at the tiny scrap of fabric when I felt Edward slide up beside me. "It's so tiny," I mused.

"It is."

"Like… so tiny."

I was nowhere near ready to have a child. Could barely stomach the thought of being a Godparent. But, standing in front of this wall full of tiny little clothes made a miniscule kernel of hope bubble up in my chest that maybe one day I would. Be ready.

The thought followed me throughout the hospital. Edward was quiet beside me, lugging around all of the flowers and balloons and stuffed animals he had gotten for his sister and niece.

I stared at him; at the relaxed smile and ease he handled everything that sent me into a tailspin with. He knew what he was doing. He had to learn quickly, but no one could ever say he wasn't an excellent father. He knew how big onesies were supposed to be and how to hold a baby and how to change a diaper. It was as frustrating as it was comforting, his experience. If we ever had a baby I would be an absolute mess. But he would be there. Smiling and doing his best not to laugh at me as I messed up the simplest things.

Even though I had an abundance of shitty parental figures in my own life, any child I had would have Edward. And they'd be the luckiest kid in the world because of it.

"I don't know anything about babies," I blurted out once we were alone in the elevator.

Edward eyed me in the mirrored reflection of the elevator doors. "That's okay."

"No," I grumbled. "It's not. Because when we have a baby you're going to be perfect and I'm going to be a mess. And—"

"When?"

It had always been more of an if scenario for us. Because I was terrified. Of giving birth, of being a mother, and of everything in between. And I didn't want to bring another person into this world when I could barely handle it myself.

But life was different now. I was different.

"Not, you know, right now," I clarified. "But maybe eventually, we could talk about the possibility of…"

Edward took pity of me, cutting me off with a gentle kiss as the elevator doors opened. He didn't say anything until we sat in the empty maternity waiting room. With his hands finally free, he gave a firm squeeze to both of mine as we sat down.

"It's a big deal," he sighed, his thumb rubbing against the bands of my wedding rings. "Having a baby. And it wasn't really a decision for me last time. It just… happened. I'd like for it to be a choice this time around. For both of us. Whenever we're ready."

I nodded. "Whenever we're ready."

"And it's okay that you don't know anything about babies. Most twenty-four-year-olds don't."

I grimaced. "I think you're underestimating just how little I know."

…Closure…

Juniper Mary Whitlock was born as healthy as could be. Ten fingers and ten toes. She was a tiny little bundle of blankets when Edward and I walked into the room only an hour or so after she was born.

If Edward hadn't been keeping my hand in a vice grip, I would have bolted right out the door. Instead, he pulled me along until we ended up right beside Alice in her hospital bed. And the tiny one she had cradled in her arms.

I wasn't sure if it actually happened in slow motion or if my brain was just having trouble processing everything. But I watched as Alice carefully handed her tiny tiny tiny little newborn daughter to her brother and was suddenly desperate for it to be our child that he was holding.

I peeked down at the little girl. She had a small crocheted cap on her head, one Alice had shown me just a few hours ago before dinner. She really was just a bundle of blankets with a tiny, splotchy red face peeking out between them.

But that tiny, splotchy red face was adorable. I had to fight against the urge to reach my finger out and touch her little nose. "Wow," I gasped.

"Do you want to hold her?" Edward asked, clearing his throat as he motioned to hand the baby over to me.

I panicked instantly and took a large step back. "No, no, no. No, thank you. No."

Alice chuckled, scooting her legs to the side of her bed and patting the edge in invitation. Before I could make a run for it, Jasper was beside me and sat me on the edge of the bed.

I shook my head, eyes darting from Jasper to Edward who seemed to have already fallen in love with the little one in his arms. "I really don't think—"
"She's your Goddaughter," Jasper said gently. "You're the sixth person to meet her, outside of the nurses and doctors."

"It'll be okay," Edward said softly before carefully placing Juniper into my arms.

My entire body was tense and I had to fight the urge to squeeze her too tight to placate the fear of dropping her. Edward situated my arms and Jasper hovered right beside me.

A tiny little human. Part Jasper and part Alice. Edward's niece. My niece. Goddaughter. With a tiny little nose and a little tuft of dark hair peeking out of her cap. With her entire life ahead of her full of a family that would love her unconditionally.

It was a wonderful moment until she suddenly started crying.

"Oh no," I gasped. Jasper was quick to grab her from me, taking her back over to Alice. I hopped off of her bed quickly, shaking out my jittery arms and collapsing on the couch off to the side where Carlisle was watching the whole thing with a smile.

"You did good."

I scoffed. "It was the most stressful sixty seconds of my life."

…Closure…

"Well," Leon Woods boasted, taking his seat at the large, mostly empty conference table. I sat beside Edward, who had his agent on his other side. Woods sat across from all of us, a couple lawyers flanking him. "I'm glad we're done with all of that back and forth."

Contract negotiations for Edward had started months ago. Woods came in with the exact deal he had offered Edward two years ago; two years with no raise. The offer had come in during a family dinner to… mixed reactions.

Edward returned to the dinner table, a slight frown on his face. After listening to his phone ring three times from where it had been left in the kitchen, he went to go turn it off. Based on his change in mood, he had done more than silence the device.

"Everything okay?" I asked as he took his seat next to me.

He nodded, pressing a quick kiss to my temple. "Yes. Leon sent Garrett a contract proposal. He was a bit impatient to tell me about it."

My brows shot up. Maybe it wasn't the best family dinner conversation, but I was impatient. "What was the proposal?"

"Same as last time. Two years, no raise. Garrett thinks I should take it."

"Garrett's an idiot," I blurted out, wincing at the chuckles I got from the table. "Sorry. But I think he got too used to you being… apathetic about your career."

Edward angled himself toward me and shrugged. "It was a good enough deal last time."

"Last time the alternative was them firing you."

"They could still fire me."

I scoffed. "They won't. You're so close to becoming the top late night program. In the last two years you've had some of your highest rated work. You're worth… much more than that deal."

Even though the subject at the table was quickly changed, my own mind stayed focused on the contract and on the man beside me. He was as distracted as I was throughout the rest of dinner, even quieter when we got home. He pretended to be fine as he got in bed and grabbed the book on his nightstand.

After I changed into one of my most well-worn Tonight Show t-shirts, I crawled into bed beside him. I gently tugged the book out of his hands and situated my legs on either side of his lap.

"You can take the deal if you want."

Edward let out a deep breath, his hands sliding absentmindedly over my thighs. "It's not that I want to take the deal. It's that I think I deserve the deal. Ah—" he pressed a finger to my lips before my protesting could begin. "Let me finish. I spent years sinking that show. They had every right to want to replace me two years ago, and have every right to give me another tentative offer."

I bit my lip, waiting. "Is it my turn, now?"

Edward nodded, with just a hint of a smile.

"Yes, two years ago the show wasn't… great. But it is now. Really fucking great. And that's because of you. The network is just trying to get you at a discount and hoping you don't go for what you deserve."

It was all a game. Everyone in this town was trying to make money or save money or screw someone over for money. Yes, Edward was paid an obscene amount of money for what he did, and he didn't need a raise, but it sent a bad message if he didn't get one. Or if he was only constantly renewed for a year or two at a time.

"If you wanted to look at it in more of an… objective way, I've already done my research. You're an excellent asset for the network. You're about to overtake Amos Hayes in ratings and he just signed a new contract for twenty million a year for six years."

Edward sighed, his fingers giving my thighs a gentle squeeze. He looked up at me, a small smile finally tugging at his lips. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Isabella Cullen."

He didn't take the first deal. After a lengthy conversation with Garrett and another half a dozen offers, we were finally ready to sign. On a deal that was much more appropriate.

"I would have hated to have to find a new host and head of publicity at the same time," Leon continued, sending a smirk in my direction.

He probably hoped I would correct him, assure him that I enjoyed my position and would want to keep it if Edward ever left the show.

I stayed silent. Edward's last day as host would be my last day as their publicist.

One of the lawyers cleared their throat. "Everything has been checked and double checked," he said, sliding a contract over to Edward. "Seven years. Twenty-two million a year."

I smiled over at my husband as he signed half a dozen different papers. We had both been our own version of broken when we met two years ago. I was an emotional ticking timebomb and Edward had been an inch away from losing his show. I was actively repressing ten years worth of trauma and Edward had been desperately trying to hold on to his family for seven years.

As I listened to his pen scratch against the paper, I couldn't help the complete sense of calm that crashed over me. We had survived. After every obstacle that had been hurdled at us, we still ended up here.

Together.

Not even the letter from Charlie that had been weighing down my tote all day could dull my mood. It had arrived at my office this morning before our meeting. My curiosity got the best of me as I opened it and read all of his apologies. He didn't offer one excuse, instead apologizing for every dismissal and mistake and offering to be there if I ever wanted to talk.

I would have done anything for a letter like that a few years ago. It did nothing for me now. I didn't need Charlie's apologies whether they were sincere or not. I didn't need to forgive him to be able to let it all go.

Slowly but surely, I had moved on. Come to terms with a childhood I had spent so long ignoring and built a life around me that replaced every bad memory I had with a good one. Found someone I knew with every fiber of my being loved me and would be there for me whenever I needed him. No matter what.

A/N: Thank you guys for loving these two as much as I do. They hold such a special place in my heart and I can't thank you enough for going on this journey with me. Now, in order to save my own sanity I'm just going to say see you soon for our 'little' part four!