because I like to think Nat's death was hard for Fury to deal with, and I was eager to branch out into some other perspectives!
Enjoy.
Nick pours out some vodka into the glass and stares at it, remembering the handful of times over the years that he and Natasha had sat down and had a drink together. It hadn't been a thing they did frequently, saved for only those moments that they both implicitly agreed required it. Toasting the success of an exceptionally difficult op. Celebrating another of Barton's family milestones. Drowning frustrations after a mission gone sideways through no fault of their own. And on those even rarer occasions when he noticed a particular haunted look creeping into in her eyes.
Nick downs the liquid in one go and then pours out some more, even as the first drink continues to burn its way down. He'd never understood her taste for the stuff, instead preferring a good bourbon, but drinking anything other than vodka on the day of her funeral just felt wrong. He breathes in deeply and leans back in the chair, allowing himself a moment to think back over the years.
Natasha had come into SHIELD thanks to the combination of Clint Barton's infuriating penchant for insubordination and his tendency to trust his instincts. At the time Nick had thought him a fool for falling into her trap, but looking back now it's easy to see that Barton recruiting her was one of the most significant things to happen during his SHIELD career. She had turned out to be not only be a valued asset and exemplary agent for SHIELD, but also an integral part of the Avengers saving the world a few times over...hell, this time she'd given her life to save the goddamn universe.
But she'd been more than just an agent of SHIELD and an Avenger. She'd worked hard to be more than that...more than someone who would blindly follow orders, and whose only real care was for her work. He knew the Barton family adored her and counted her as one of their own, and she'd been a close friend of Maria Hill, Phil Coulson, and Melinda May, not to mention the Avengers. So yeah, she had been more than just an agent.
What exactly she'd been to him was a little tougher to define, but he knows that he'd cared about her. His reputation meant most people believed him to be cold, detached, and ruthless, but Natasha Romanoff had earned his loyalty and the small amount of trust he was comfortable giving out to those who were worthy. He'd watched her grow from the teenager that had been through hell and then some, into a successful agent and Avenger, loyal friend, and loving aunt to Barton's kids. He'd been so damn proud of what she'd overcome, and as far as he was concerned comeback stories didn't come any better than hers.
He takes a sip from the glass, letting his mind drift to the memory of Rogers telling him she'd given her life to help them succeed.
"Where's Romanoff?" Nick asks, eyes drifting over the smouldering wreckage of the Avengers Compound. After reappearing, he and Hill had quickly assessed that the Avengers Compound was ground zero for getting an explanation of what had happened, and headed there immediately.
Rogers' expression hardens and he shakes his head as he replies, "She didn't make it."
Fury's stomach drops. It's not the first time he's lost an agent, or even a friend, but this one hurts. He'd watched Natasha grow up with his own eyes, and had been fond of her. She and him were cut from the same cloth in a lot of ways, and he'd always felt a sort of kinship with her for that reason.
"How?" he asks, voice rough with the grief that's growing in him. People may have thought him detached and unfeeling, but when it came to his inner circle, he cared a great deal.
"She sacrificed herself to help us get you all back."
Nick holds Steve's gaze for a moment, mind whirring with possibilities. They were in uncharted territory now with the gauntlet that Stark had wielded. "Is there any chance-"
"No," Steve interrupts succinctly. "It's permanent."
The faint hope he'd held fades instantly. It's a very firm answer, and Cap had never been the type to give up if there was even a small chance...so if he's discounting the possibility, then it's a sure thing. He blows out a breath. People had been trying to kill Natasha Romanoff for practically her whole life, and yet in the end it was her own sacrifice that took her. Some fucking poetic symbolism.
"I'm sorry," he says, the words feeling useless and inadequate.
"Yeah," Steve mumbles. "Me too."
Nick takes a long drink from the glass as he mulls over his thoughts. She'd been a hero, and he'd go to his own grave swearing that to everybody. He hadn't always believed in heroes, but his chance meeting with Carol, followed by travelling into space and helping to save what was left of the Skrulls made him begin to believe. And he knew then that the future was going to be a lot more complicated and would require more remarkable people like Carol to defend the Earth.
Truth be told, a couple of master assassins were not on the list to be a part of the Avengers initiative. Objectively, an archer and a former Russian spy had no business being on that team. They were remarkable agents, yes, but the types of threats the initiative was formed to do battle against didn't exactly call for espionage expertise. But circumstances intervened, and Barton and Romanoff had become a part of the founding members of the team. They both helped to save cities, and countries, and planets, and the universe. And they both became heroes, even if neither were comfortable with that label being applied to them.
"Vodka, huh?"
Nick's gaze tips up and finds Maria Hill leaning against the door frame. Her expression is carefully neutral, but Nick can see the cracks. She and Natasha had been close, forming a friendship over shared disdain for people's stupidity (admittedly it was mostly directed to male agents…) and an unwavering drive to always complete the mission. The news of Natasha's death had understandingly shaken Maria's usually calm and stoic demeanour, leaving her a bit unsettled.
"You have something better in mind?" he counters, eyebrow arching in a silent but pointed challenge.
Maria just holds his gaze for a moment before pushing off the doorframe and making her way into the room. She wastes no time in sitting down on the couch across from him and leaning forward to push an empty glass toward him. Nick doesn't hesitate to oblige her request as he pours them each some vodka.
She picks up her glass and holds it up in a silent invitation. Nick mirrors her action and their gazes lock as understanding passes between them before they both throw back their drinks.
"And the glare she gave you? It was priceless!" Maria says with a short laugh, leaning forward to pour some more vodka into her glass. They'd both loosened up a bit after making their way through most of the bottle, and the stories about Natasha's time in SHIELD were flowing easier now.
"Laugh it up, Hill. Don't think I've forgotten how many times she handed you your ass while sparring."
Maria waves off his words. "There's no proof, Nick."
"Pretty sure it was in the files that Romanoff released," he counters, pointing at her with his hand still holding his glass and gesturing for a refill.
"Whoa," Carol says as she walks into the room and eyes the nearly empty bottle of vodka. "What's going on here?"
"Russian vodka," Maria offers in explanation as she fills his glass again, leaving just a small amount in the bottle.
"We're toasting Romanoff," Nick clarifies as he meets Carol's gaze.
"I'm in," Carol says, striding into the room and sitting next to Nick. Maria slides an empty glass over to her and Carol pours herself the last of the vodka.
Maria frowns. "Can you even get drunk?"
Carol shrugs. "Not with human alcohol."
"It's wasted on you then."
"Not if I'm not aiming to get drunk," she counters with a smirk.
Maria's frown holds for another second before her gaze shifts to the empty bottle, seemingly having decided to let the matter go. "We got anymore of that?"
Nick nods and gestures vaguely to the other room, prompting Maria to get up and leave in search of it.
"Nat was a hell of a woman," Carol says after downing her vodka in one go. "Didn't know what to make of her when I first met her though."
"That makes two of us," Nick replies, allowing a small smile to curl on his lips for just a moment. "We sent Barton to kill her-"
"Kill her?" Carol interrupts, eyes wide with shock. "What exactly happened to SHIELD after I left?"
"It's not like it wasn't warranted," Nick protests. "She was an assassin for the KGB and had been taking out some of our higher profile contacts in Europe."
Carol blinks in shock. "O...kay. How'd she end up working for SHIELD then? Because last I checked, we and the Russians have pretty much never been on good terms…"
"I was getting to that," Nick replies dryly, shooting her a brief look of disapproval for her impatience. She leans back and gestures silently for him to continue. "We sent Barton to kill her since she'd been racking up quite the body count, and instead he comes back with her in tow."
Carol huffs out a laugh. "Bet that went over well."
"Oh, yeah," he replies with a breathy chuckle. "Barton was convinced that she was ready to turn over a new leaf. I was convinced she was playing him, and angling to ruin us."
"Got it," Maria says as she reenters the room, holding another bottle of vodka.
"Good. Now pour," he instructs. Maria rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but does as he asks.
"So what happened next?" Carol asks, throwing back another shot of vodka. Maria glares half-heartedly but refills her glass again.
"After we decided to give her a shot, she had a slew of interrogation sessions, advanced psychological assessments-"
"Oh, she loved those," Maria interjects as she puts down the bottle and leans back into the couch cushions. "She told me once that she found the entire exercise hilarious and resorted to reverse analyzing her shrink. I begged to see the tapes, but she said it was never on the books."
"In short, she was a real pain in the ass," Nick summarizes. "But a valuable pain in the ass. She had intel, and her training was unlike anything we'd ever seen."
"Sounds like a real coup for SHIELD."
"Yeah. But it wasn't perfect."
Carol frowns. "How do you mean?"
"We basically had to teach her how to be a human being," Nick explains. "She was a weapon. Her only real social skills were for manipulation."
Carol's brow furrows in confusion as she leans forward to sit up straighter. "Hang on, I think I'm missing something here. She seemed pretty normal to me. I mean, the stuff after Thanos messed her up pretty good, but it messed everyone up."
"She was raised in a place called the Red Room," Maria explains. "Soviet Russia's peak efforts at perfecting espionage."
"Raised there?"
Nick nods. "Best we could piece together from files and what she'd found out, they took her from her family when she was very young. She never knew her parents. They trained them in anything they could ever need to be an effective spy. Physical endurance, speed, and flexibility, weaponry, different fighting styles, psychological training, languages, computer hacking, torture techniques," Nick listed, ticking off the areas on his fingers. "And they subjected them to extensive psychological conditioning."
Carol's frown deepens. "Brainwashing?" Nick and Maria both nod. "Shit. That's awful."
"Yeah," Maria answers, leaning forward to pour them each some more vodka, "whatever you're thinking? It was worse."
"She was all hard edges, corners, and spikes," Nick offers. "Nothing soft about her, unless you told her it was needed to seduce or get close to a target, then she was sweet as honey. And believe me, watching a 15 year old do that? It's disgusting."
Carol's eyes widen. "15? Jesus."
"Yeah," Nick agrees. "But she learned quickly once we deprogrammed most of that shit out of her."
Carol blinks. "I had no idea…"
"She didn't like to share much about her past. From the moment I met her she was trying to make up for the deaths she had dealt out. Don't think she ever saw it as the deaths that they made her deal out though. It was always on her shoulders. Always red in her ledger."
"She saved trillions this time," Maria points out. "I hope she believed that was more than enough to make up for it."
"Did I miss my invitation to the former SHIELD agents drinking party?"
They all look up to find Clint Barton in the doorway, his watchful gaze clocking every detail in the room. Nick doesn't miss the haunted look in his eyes. It was easy to see that losing his best friend and former partner had wrecked the man.
"Don't take it personally. It was impromptu," Nick replies.
Clint pushes off the door frame he'd been leaning on and makes his way to sit down next to Maria. He meets her gaze and tips his head in a silent request. She snags the second to last glass and pours some vodka for him.
He twirls the glass around a little. "Don't stop on my account," he says, his eyes glued to the swirling liquid.
All three of their gazes linger on him for a moment. It wasn't hard to tell that he was struggling. They all were, in their own way, but it wasn't quite as personal for them as it was for him. He and Natasha had always had a tight bond, having been partners for years and friends for just as long. Hell, she'd become a part of his family. Nick still doesn't know the circumstances of Natasha's death, but the fact that he was so torn up told him that the story had more than a few layers to peel back.
It's Carol who breaks the awkward silence. "She kept busy while you guys were dusted," she says, gesturing to both Nick and Maria. "And while you were, uh, away," she adds, nodding at Clint. Nick doesn't miss the hardening of Clint's gaze and his posture stiffening. They are tells the man never allowed himself before half the universe was dusted away, but now he's making no effort to hide them.
"Rogers mentioned she was running what was left of the Avengers," Nick says. "Sounds about right. She was always more of a leader than she gave herself credit for."
"She was the only thing keeping us focused and together. Everyone just wanted to...disappear. But she was persistent, and wanted to make sure the world -well the universe really- was safe." Carol pauses for a moment, almost as though lost in her memories. "I found her one night sitting on the dock watching the sun set with a nearly empty bottle of vodka next to her. We got to talking and I asked her why she was trying to so hard to keep everyone together when it was obvious they wanted to leave it behind. She told me that if she couldn't do anything to bring everybody back, then the least she could do was try to keep things safe for everybody that was left."
Clint, Nick, and Maria are quiet as they let Carol's words sink in.
"She really trusted you," Carol adds, meeting Nick's gaze. "She was the one who found the pager. Rogers told me she was insistent on making sure it stayed powered and could keep sending the message. Said if you'd been trying to contact someone, it was worthwhile trying to find whoever it was."
Nick is a bit surprised to hear the degree to which she had trusted him. His faked death before taking down SHIELD had impacted her more than he had thought it would, and there had been a small rift that opened up between them after that. They still worked together when circumstances had required it and he had still trusted her, but the distance between them had grown and he'd suspected her trust in him had dissipated.
"What else did she do?" Clint asks.
Carol's gaze swings to him, and her expression is mostly unreadable. But there's a hint of disapproval and maybe even accusation in her eyes. Nick files that bit of information away as he begins to realize that there was clearly a lot more about what happened to Clint Barton in the last five years than what folks were saying.
"Aside from making sure everyone here was playing nicely in the sandbox? She started up some organization with Stark to help out the kids that had been orphaned because of the "Snap" or whatever the hell people are calling it."
Nick's eyebrow arches. Last he'd heard Stark hadn't been her biggest fan... "With Stark?"
"Well, with his wife anyway. I think Stark came around eventually on it though."
"Makes sense," Maria says with a shrug. "She always had a soft spot for kids, even if she'd deny it over and over."
"She was good people," Carol adds, her tone softer now.
"Yeah," Nick agrees with a slow nod, as he refills his own glass, and then Carol and Maria's as well. "She was."
"Hell of an agent," Maria adds.
"Hell of a friend," Clint offers, his voice rough. He holds up his glass. "To Nat."
Carol and Maria nod as they hold up their own glasses in a salute to their fallen teammate.
Nick finds Clint's gaze and holds it for a moment as silent understanding passes between them. They'd known her for almost twenty years, and had watched her grow into a hero. He nods as he raises his glass. Yeah, hers was a comeback story for the motherfucking ages.
"To Natasha," they echo together.
had to get an obligatory MF in there for Samuel L Jackson. ;)
Enjoy the new perspective? Have an idea for a new one? Let me know! I do so love to hear your feedback and thoughts!