i've already covered off Lila's reactions, so I figured it was high-time to see some of Cooper's as well.

enjoy!

The flash of lightning snakes across the night sky and Cooper is reminded vividly of a broken pane of glass. He taps his fingers, counting the time between the flash and the inevitable rolls of thunder. It's only a few seconds later that the thunder cracks in the air, shaking the house and echoing in his ears. He can see the rain is still a ways off, but all signs point to this storm being more intense than they've seen in a long time. At least that he'd seen in a long time; he supposes they'd probably had a good storm or two in those five years he was gone.

"Coop?" he hears his dad call out from inside the house.

Of course, he finds me just as I manage to find some time alone, he grumbles silently as he sighs lightly. His dad had hugged them all so tightly when they first reunited, and once Cooper had found out that he'd been gone for five years it had made sense. He knows he can't imagine what it's like for his dad to have lost them all for five years and that there's probably a whole bunch of emotions that he's working through, but what his dad doesn't seem to understand is that they're all working through stuff too. Coming back to find out you've missed five years and some of your friends have graduated and moved on with their lives already, not to mention being told about Aunt Nat…it was just a lot. But his dad seemed to want them in his sights as much as humanly possible, to the point that it was getting frustrating for them all. Lila had exploded at him just that morning when she'd said she was going to go for a bike ride and their dad had frowned and suggested she stay close to home instead. And yesterday his mom had waved off his offer for them all to accompany her for a groceries run, and shot him a piercing look when he protested. Even Nate had started to bring his toys up to his room to play so that he'd be alone, after having gained a seemingly permanent playmate.

"Out here," Cooper replies after sighing again, knowing his dad wasn't going to give up until he found him.

He hears the creak of the door as it opens. "Hey, you alright?"

"Fine," he answers. He knows the tone is a bit dull, but frankly he's just happy the frustration didn't bleed into it too much. He can feel his dad's stare on the back of his head from the doorway but he doesn't turn around. There's another flash of lightning, but this one is more of a bolt straight up and down than the one before that had fanned out across the sky. He taps his fingers again and finds it's a few extra seconds before the thunder rolls this time.

"You used to do that when you were younger," Clint says as he takes a seat next to him on the porch swing.

"What?" Clint taps his fingers with his thumb in demonstration. "Oh, yeah. Never really stopped," Cooper replies with a shrug. He pauses a beat to consider whether to expand on that, and then opts to go for it. "Aunt Nat taught me."

Clint frowns. "She did?"

Cooper nods. "I was scared of a thunderstorm one night, but I didn't want to bother you or Mom because you'd come home from a mission that day with some pretty bad injuries and were absolutely exhausted."

"So, you found Nat instead," Clint surmises.

"I was trying to be brave but the thunder was so loud…" he trails off thoughtfully. "I was terrified. I remember standing in the doorway and we just sort of stared at each other until I eventually flinched at another flash of lightning. Then she pulled back the blankets and tilted her head toward the open spot. I crawled in but still couldn't help flinching every time there was a flash or a roll of thunder."

"You really hated storms. I remember you jumped straight off the couch and into my arms once."

"I don't know why she thought it would help, but she explained what thunder was and then taught me how to count between the lightning and the thunder to figure out the distance. She said sometimes it helped to know something concrete about the uncertainty."

"Find something you can control in what seems like an uncontrollable situation."

"Yeah, I guess," Cooper says with a shrug. "The habit stuck and I found myself doing it without thinking from then on. Thunderstorms didn't seem so scary after that."

"We always wondered how you kicked that fear so easily," Clint says thoughtfully, rubbing at his chin.

Cooper flashes a half-hearted smile. "Who better to learn how to overcome fear from than the woman who wasn't afraid of anything?"

"She was afraid of lots of things," Clint counters, a bit more seriously, "but she was the bravest person I've ever met."

Cooper exhales heavily. "Yeah, I guess everyone's afraid of something. She just always seemed so invincible you know?"

Clint nods and Cooper can feel his worried gaze on him. He knows he's been quiet since they'd told him and Lila about Aunt Nat. He's been processing that along with the facts that most of his friends are now five years older and that his dad has an awful haircut and tattoos he keeps covered with long sleeves even with the hot, humid weather, not to mention serious emotional baggage weighing him down in a way Cooper's never seen before.

But as frustrated as he is with his dad over him being overbearing, he also knows that he is one of only a few people who can really understand his grief for Natasha. "I miss her," he admits quietly. "I know we didn't see her as much as we used to over the last while, but...I miss her."

He hears his dad sigh heavily, and even though he hasn't said anything yet, he can hear the grief there plain as day. "Me too, Coop."

They're quiet for a minute before Cooper speaks again, trying to put together his thoughts into a cohesive sentence. "It was nice having her as an aunt. She was- I'm glad I got to know her." He supposes his dad's not sure how to respond to that, which he doesn't blame him for - if their roles were reversed Cooper knows he wouldn't have any idea what to say either. He swallows as he tries to summon some courage to keep talking. "I, uh, read some of the stuff that got released online-"

"Coop," Clint sighs.

"I know. I know," he replies quickly. He knows his parents hadn't wanted him or Lila to read any of that, and until recently he'd respected those wishes and left it alone. But in a desire to see if the world was missing her as much as she deserved, he'd fallen down a rabbit hole of links and then had found himself reading some of those files that had been released when SHIELD fell. "I just- I didn't read much, but- It-" He stops abruptly as he can't find the words to describe it. He'd always known that she hadn't really had a traditional childhood, and that her life had been far from easy, but to read even some of SHIELD's files...she'd been through more than he ever could have imagined.

"I know," his dad says with a somber nod of his head. Cooper doesn't doubt that his father understands what he's trying to get at.

"She made it through hell growing up."

"Worse than," Clint replies and Cooper sees his jaw clench. He wonders how much more his dad knows about the horrors his aunt had experienced before they'd met.

"People always said she was heartless...ruthless even, but I never knew her as anything but warm."

"She never wanted you, Nate, Lila, or your mom to have anything to do with the darkness of our job. She worked hard to be more open when she was here, but at work she let people think whatever they wanted about her. She made the tough calls other people wouldn't and did the ops that made other people uncomfortable because someone had to, and she thought it ought to be her."

"You think people will ever appreciate what she did for us all?" he asks quietly. He knows the world isn't being told the specifics of what she'd done (neither is he, for that matter, but he'd gotten a few more details than most), but he wonders if they'll remember the aliens and robots and Hydra agents she'd fought over the years. He wonders if they'll remember she'd been saving them long before she gave her life for them all.

"Some will. Some won't. The ones who matter will remember what she did and will honour her memory."

"Yeah," Cooper replies absently with a nod. He wishes there was more he could do to honour her. He had been one of the few people allowed to see what he supposes was the real Natasha Romanoff, but he can't think of a single damn thing he can do to honour the impact she'd had on his life, and it's eating at him.

Clint turns to look at him and Cooper sees unshed tears in his eyes. "She loved you, Coop. You know that, right?"

Cooper nods and tips his head and rests it in his hand, trying to hide his emotion from his dad. He knows it's a fruitless effort at best and he isn't surprised when he hears the soft scuffle of his dad sliding over to be closer to him. He can't help but lean into the contact a little when his dad swings an arm around his shoulders.

"I remember the first time she held you as a baby," Clint says fondly and Cooper can hear the mix of pride, love, and grief in his tone. "I figured for sure she'd hold you the same way I had at first - uncomfortably and carefully. Not unlike you're handling a delicate explosive," he adds with a small smile and a bump of his shoulder, "but when your mom put you in her arms, Nat was like a seasoned pro. She held you so gently, and stared at you with a smile and a softness in her eyes. She was always so careful with you." Cooper stays quiet but he can't stop a quiet sniffle from escaping. He feels his dad squeeze his shoulder in response. "She did what she did to bring you guys back so you could live your lives."

Cooper nods and then looks up to meet his dad's gaze. "And so that you'd be here for us too, right?"

He sees the emotions flash across his dad's face quickly. He hadn't gone into detail about what had gone down, but Cooper had read between the lines and understood that she'd saved his life directly in her actions to save half the universe. He tries not to think about the alternative scenario where she's sitting next to him telling him about his father and how brave he was.

"Yeah," Clint says roughly.

Cooper sighs lightly. "I'm glad you're here," he begins cautiously.

"But you wish she was still here too?" Clint guesses.

"Yeah," Cooper replies with a sigh. "Doesn't seem fair, you know?"

"No," Clint agrees, "it isn't."

There's another flash of lightning and this time the thunder follows long after. "Storm's moving away," he comments.

"Sounds like it," Clint agrees and then they fall silent. A few moments later his dad speaks again. "I know I've been...overbearing and smothering you guys. I'm sorry about that. I'm just- You were there and then you were gone, and those five years were the longest of my life."

"S'ok," Cooper replies with a shrug.

"No, it's not. I know you want to live your life and are processing everything with you being back, and with- with losing your aunt," he says, stumbling over the mention of Natasha. "If what you need is space then I'll try to give you that. But just- you gotta tell me what you need, okay? I'm not used to you being so quiet."

"Okay," he agrees with a nod. "Can you tell me a story about her?"

"A story?"

Cooper shrugs. "I remember her, but you knew her longer."

"Well, there was the time Phil, Maria, and I took her to an arcade."

"An arcade? Why?"

He shrugs. "She'd never been."

Cooper grins at his dad's expression, which he knows means there's going to be something hilarious in the story, and if he knew his aunt, it would probably end up being at his dad's expense.

always keen to see what you think! leave a few words if you're so inclined.

this one managed to get my creative juices flowing that allowed me to write out another whole chapter for my Conversational Junctures story that's going to feature Cooper as well (though when he was much younger).

more to come!