Crash Into Me-Chapter 28
Here is an update. I hope you guys enjoy.
Brea took a shower and crawled into bed as soon as she got home while Jessica and Happy watched the kids.
"Do you need anything babe?" Jax asked as he sat beside her on the bed and caressed her arm.
"No I'm fine." She whispered back sluggish and sleepy. Brea absently rubbed her stomach over the covers.
"Does your stomach hurt?" Jax asked concern.
"No." she said quickly removing her hand.
Jax leaned over and softly kissed her lips and then her eyelids as she closed her eyes to sleep.
"Sweet dreams baby."
Brea rolled over in bed and pushed out the thought of her pregnancy from her mind. She could not dwell on that right now.
"It's going to be hard for Brea at the funeral tomorrow." Jax said to Jessica and Happy as he sat outside with them gulping down one of the beers from the six-pack he pulled out of the fridge.
"Yeah it will be. I am glad she has you Jax." Jessica smiled warmly at Jax. She wondered if he told Brea yet how he felt. This would be a good time for her to hear those three words.
"Mya seems to be doing ok." Happy looked on as Mya and Abel played on the playset Jax brought for them both.
"Kids are resilient and tend to bounce back quicker than adults." Jessica took a shot of tequila.
Jax looked at Mya and Abel play for a few minutes as he sipped on his beer.
"Did Brea seem quiet to you since we got back from the hospital?" he asked Happy and Jessica.
"Prez she just came back from her sister's wake." Happy pointed out.
"I know but she hardly said two words to me since we left the hospital. Something is going on I can feel it. Justin must have said something to her when he had us leave the room."
"What do you mean leave the room?" Jessica asked concern.
"He had everyone leave the room except Venus and talked to them both privately."
"Really?" Jessica was intrigued. Why would Brea's brother talk to her privately with Venus and not her family? She will have to find out the scoop from Brea when she wakes up.
Jax was woken up the next morning by the sounds of gagging coming from the bathroom. He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to find Brea over the toilet throwing up.
"What's wrong Brea?!" Jax was hysterical.
Brea shook her head. "I'm fine."
"No you are not Brea. You are throwing up and sweating." Jax took his hand wiped the sweat off her forehead. Brea got up from the toilet and started to brush her teeth when a wave of nausea hit again and she had to double over the toilet again.
"My God!" Jax rubbed his forehead in frustration. "Talk to me Brea…what's wrong?"
"I'm fine." She managed between gags.
Jax raised his hands in frustration and rushed out to get Jessica. Maybe she would talk to her. Jax felt Brea was shutting him out. He knew she is mourning her sister but something else was going on with her.
"Hey sweetie…..what's going on." Jessica got on her knees in front of Brea who was on the floor resting her back against the tub. Brea felt she could not move far from the toilet at the moment just in case she has another episode. Brea looked up at Jessica with tears in her eyes. Jessica pulled her cousin in a tight hug. "What's wrong? You have Jax so worried."
Brea looked passed Jessica's shoulder and saw Jax standing by the door biting his nails with a scared look on his face. Brea did not mean to alarm him. She had never seen him look so afraid. Jessica could tell Brea was hesitant in talking to her. She looked back and found the reason why.
"Jax can you give us a little girl time and check on Abel and Mya to make sure they didn't coat the kitchen in pancake syrup?" Jessica asked.
"Sure." Jax hesitantly shut the bathroom door and walked to the kitchen.
Jessica rubbed the hair out of Brea's face.
"He's gone baby…what's wrong. Are you worrying yourself sick because of the funeral today?"
"I'm pregnant."
"Oh my God! That is awesome Brea!"
Brea frowned. "Why does everyone keep saying that? I don't want to be a single mom."
"Whose everyone? Jax?"
"No…Venus. I haven't told Jax."
"Brea why haven't you told Jax? That does not make any sense. Why would you keep something so important from him? You would not be a single mom…Jax is with you." Jessica gasped when she caught the look in Brea's eyes. "Are you thinking about an abortion?"
"Yes I was thinking of it." Brea sighed looking away from Jessica's judgmental stare. "Don't judge me Jess."
"I don't understand….don't you realize how much Jax loves you. It is written all over his face whenever he looks at you. He's not going to let you kill his child."
Brea started crying.
"I'm just so messed up Jess. I don't know what to do."
"You need to think this through and more importantly tell Jax."
A soft knock on the door interrupted their conversation.
"We need to start getting ready." Jax said through the door.
"Alright we are coming." Jessica yelled back. Jessica got up off the floor and took Brea's hand.
"You need to tell him Brea." She told her before opening the door to a waiting Jax.
Dana's funeral was less eventful than her wake. No one tried to beat anyone up. Her brother's behaved themselves. As the casket was lowered into the ground Sherry started to wail and Gemma held her tight to comfort her. Happy held onto Mya as she cried in his arms for her mom. Henry was consumed in grief as he had just buried his oldest daughter yesterday and was now burying the woman he loved. Brea shook with sobs as Jax held her in his arms. He wished he could take the pain away but he knew he could not. The only thing he could do was be there for her and Mya.
After the funeral Brea opted out going to her mom's house to receive friends and family. She just wanted to crawl into bed. She could not take any more 'sorry for your loss' from anyone else. Mya had literally cried herself to sleep and Happy carried her in the house and put her to bed.
"Dad is Mya going to be ok?" Abel asked his dad as Jax undressed his son out of his little suit.
"Yes she will. She just lost her mom and she is a little sad." Jax kissed Abel's forehead. "Come eat…Jessica is making us tacos."
Abel smiled because tacos was one of his favorite foods. Everyone sat down to eat except Brea and Mya as Mya was asleep and Brea just wanted to be in the bed. Gemma let herself in and sat down at the table.
"How's Sherry holding up?" Jax asked.
"No so good. I think it really hit her today that she has lost a child."
"Gemma you want some tacos?" Jessica asked getting up to make her a plate.
"Yes. Thanks sweetheart. Where's Brea?"
"Laying down." Jax answered just as Brea shuffled in the kitchen.
"Babe…you want something to eat?" Jax got up and put his arms around her waist.
"No I'm fine. I just need some water."
Jax leaned over and gave her a soft peck on her lips and went to get her a bottle water out the fridge. As he handed it to her Brea popped two pills in her mouth.
"What are you taking?" Jessica asked.
"Something to help me sleep. Why?" Brea looked at Jessica defensively.
"You should not be taking medication like that in your condition. You should drink chamomile tea."
"What condition?" Jax asked looking over at Jessica.
"You still haven't told him?" Jessica could not believe her cousin.
"Jessica it is not your business." Brea snapped opening the water bottle to swallow her sleeping pills.
"What the hell are yall talking about?" Gemma was getting frustrated with their back and forth banter.
"Brea is pregnant." Jessica told the room. Brea's mouth fell open, as she could not believe her cousin would tell them. She should have known as Jess could never keep a secret.
"Wait….what? You are pregnant Brea?" Jax asked as what Jessica said resonated with him.
Gemma's mouth fell open as she digested what Jessica said.
Brea glared at Jessica.
Jax touched Brea's stomach.
"Are you?"
"Yes." She confirmed. Jax grabbed her face.
"Open your mouth. Spit those pills out." He demand.
Brea opened her mouth and Jax grabbed the two pills off her tongue.
"Jesus Brea! Ambien? Two of them!" he chucked the pills in the sink. "Were you going to tell me? How far along are you?"
"No I had planned on not telling you. I don't know how far along I am I didn't ask Justin when he told me."
Jax nose flared as anger consumed him.
"You were going to have an abortion?!" Gemma yelled causing Brea to jump.
"I don't know what I am going to do." She whispered looking away from Jax angry blue eyes and Gemma's harden stare.
"One thing you will not fuckin do is get rid of my child!" Jax shouted at Brea.
"And my grandbaby!" Gemma chimed in.
Brea looked up at him defiantly.
"I can do what I want it's my body!"
"It's my baby!" Jax grabbed her arm and pulled her to him.
"If I have to tie you to the bed for the next nine months I will do it!" he growled at her.
"I have handcuffs at the house. Don't think we won't do it!" Gemma told Brea. Brea rolled her eyes. They could not tell her what to do. Brea pulled her arm from Jax, stomped to the bedroom, and slammed the door shut.
"Let her be for a minute." Gemma grabbed Jax's arm to keep him from going after her. "It's the grief talking. Just give her a minute and then go talk to her. Keep an eye on her Jackson. Do not let her out of your sight. We don't want her sneaking off to a clinic."
Jax was so confused. Why on earth would Brea not want to have his child. He thought they were in a good place in their relationship. It had to be the grief talking….what else could it be. Jax left Brea alone and hung out with Jessica and Happy after he put Abel to bed. Gemma had warned him again to keep an eye on her before she had left.
"Thanks for telling me Jessica." Jax told her as they sat outside in their favorite drinking spot.
"She's going to be pissed at you for a while babe." Happy told Jessica as he squeezed her hand.
"I know." Jessica sighed and put her head down on the table.
Jax walked in the bedroom without a shirt and Brea looked up from her magazine and found herself gazing at his chest down to his hips where his lounge pants hung. She quickly looked away to keep the heat that was beginning to rise in her from festering. Jax pulled the covers back and crawled into bed with her. Jax took the magazine out of her hand and threw it across the room. He grabbed her chin and made her look at him.
"Why would you want to kill our child Brea? Where would you get the impression that I would not be thrilled to have a child with you or that I would not be there for you and the baby?"
Brea tried to look away from Jax but he held her chin firm so she could not pull away.
"I just don't know what my future holds Jax. I've been thinking a lot about my life since Dana died. Do I really want to bring a child into this world?"
"You, Mya, my son and this child's future belong with me. Are you not happy with me?"
"Yes I'm happy with you. Are you happy with me?"
"Yes Brea! I am more happier than I have been in my whole life." Jax pulled Brea into a hug. "You should not have to ask that. I'm sorry if I don't tell you how much I care about you enough. How you make me feel every time I look at you. Just to wake up in your arms every morning is a privilege that I do not take for granted." Jax lifted up Brea's tank top and planted soft kisses on her stomach. Brea rubbed her fingers in his hair.
"I love you son." He whispered to her stomach. Jax looked up at Brea and saw her eyes mist up.
"Brea I love you." He finally told her caressing her cheek.
A wave of relief flushed over Brea and Jax saw the weight lift off her. She didn't know. How could she not know that he was head over heels in love with her? He should have told her before and she would not be contemplating that she might have a future without him. Jax pulled Brea into another hug.
"Oh Brea." He whispered as she started to cry in his arms. "I'm sorry I should have told you sooner. I love you so much."
"I love you too." She said between sobs. Jax laid Brea down and kissed her tears away all the while whispering he loved her repeatedly. He needed to take care of his woman tonight. He wanted to make her forget her grief for a few moments. He needed to make her feel good. As he slowly made love to her he whispered his love for her all night as he wanted her to have no doubts in her mind of his feelings for her.
M/N: Yay! Jax told her….about damn time! I understand Brea's grief and confusion as what to do about the pregnancy. She obviously felt it was not a good time to bring a child into the world and she was still unsure of her relationship with Jax. Even though Jax had not said the three magic words to Brea he has been showing his love to her and Mya in other ways as NatalieLynn pointed out the heavy presence of the other charters at Dana's funeral was definitely a show of his love for her. I'm glad she has peace of mind in regards to his love for her.