because it's been a little while since we last checked in with Phil Coulson.
enjoy!
"Phil, hi," Nat says brightly as she opens the door, eyes widening slightly in surprise.
"Hi," he replies, returning her smile as he feels a warmth spread through him at the sight of her relaxed and jovial mood. "I brought you a house-warming gift," he explains as he hands her the gift he'd finished up the night before and wrapped that morning.
He watches a fond smile curl on her lips. "Oh, you didn't have to do that," she says while accepting the gift. She looks it over briefly before meeting his gaze again.
"Of course, I did. After all, it's not every day someone in the afterlife gets some new digs," he replies quickly. "Besides, my grandmother will hunt me down if she finds out I didn't bring you anything. And believe me, she is a force to be reckoned with. She's got a glare that puts even your death stare to shame," he adds, knowing his grandmother would absolutely hunt him down if he didn't bring Natasha something.
She chuckles and opens the door wider. "Got time for a coffee?"
"Yeah, if you don't mind. That'd be great," he agrees with a nod.
He follows her through the doorway and steps into the house, eyes widening as he takes in the now completed renovation projects. He slips off his shoes and trails behind her as she makes her way to the back of the house, where he remembers the kitchen is located. They pass through a den, complete with a couch, two very comfortable-looking chairs, and an impressive TV setup that includes a projector he's sure Stark had contributed. He spots a cabinet covered with a bunch of framed photos. He easily identifies the ones with SHIELD agents, the Bartons, and the Avengers, but there are a few with people he doesn't recognize too. When they finally reach the kitchen, he whistles appreciatively at the finished product. "Wow," he says as his gaze sweeps over the modern finishes and what he assumes are state-of-the-art appliances.
"You like?" she asks as she sets down the gift onto the island and then leans against the counter behind her.
He nods enthusiastically. He doesn't cook much, but he's pretty sure that even he would like cooking in this kitchen. "It turned out amazing," he says honestly. "These cabinet doors are gorgeous," he appraises as he runs his hand over the finished wood. "You and Cap did good work," he adds with a nod of approval, remembering that the kitchen renovation was the one Cap had helped her with primarily.
"Yeah, they turned out pretty well," she agrees before turning around and grabbing a couple of mugs from a cupboard.
"And these countertops are amazing," he adds, swiping his hand across the smooth finish and then rapping on the stone with his knuckle.
He can see the chuckle ripple through her as she pours coffee into one of the mugs. "I had no idea you were such a fan of kitchens, Phil."
"You want me to find some flaws instead?"
He hears her chuckle again as she finishes pouring coffee into the second mug. "No, no. Keep the compliments coming," she says as she turns around and slides one of the mugs of fresh coffee to him. She pushes the sugar over to him, clearly remembering that he doesn't take milk or cream in his coffee. "My ego could stand to be stroked a bit," she finishes with a grin, adding a wink for emphasis.
The scent of the freshly brewed coffee has filled the room, and he remembers only then that Natasha had always been a bit of a coffee snob. Sure, she'd had the crappy office coffee when she was desperate, but if she could help it, she drank only the good stuff.
"Absolutely not," he deadpans before cracking a smile. He spoons some sugar into the proffered mug, picks it up, and then brings it up to his nose and inhales deeply. The aroma is nothing short of heavenly — the fact that he's thinking that in the afterlife is not at all lost on him — and he hums appreciatively. "I somehow forgot you had a taste for good quality coffee. This smells amazing."
"Yeah, it's not half bad," she says with a casual shrug as he enjoys his first taste of the coffee.
"Pssh, 'half bad,' she says. Come on," he replies with a roll of his eyes and an air quotes gesture with his free hand. "This is properly good coffee."
"If you say so," she agrees with a smile as she sips at her own mug of coffee. "Doesn't hold a candle to Wally's place though."
"No," he agrees, having visited the place often, "Wally's got it down to a fine art there."
"Mm," she hums in reply. "So, can I open this?" she asks, pointing to the wrapped gift. "Or should I wait for us to finish our coffee first?" she adds cheekily, her eyes twinkling in amusement.
"Yes, yes," he answers. "Please do."
She chuckles at his enthusiasm and places her mug back onto the counter to free up her hands. She tears open the paper with far less precision than he had ever witnessed her use to open a gift before reaching a hand inside. Her face splits into a wide grin immediately in recognition. "Is this…?"
He nods. "Yep. I figured your new place needed one too."
She pulls out the large knitted blanket and hugs it to herself to revel in the softness. It's an action more akin to a child clutching a new favourite toy to their chest or someone holding a treasured photograph tightly, and it warms his heart to see her reacting that way. "Thank you, Phil. Really, you didn't have to—"
"It's my pleasure, Natasha," he interrupts with a smile. "I'm glad you're settling in and finding some of that peace you deserve," he says seriously. It had been understandably difficult for her to come to terms with everything following her act of sacrifice to let Clint obtain the stone, and watching her struggle with the weight of her emotions and grief had been painful. Her progress had been slow and not always steady, but seeing her now in her new home with a bright smile on her face tells him that she really has found some peace.
She smiles warmly at his words and then swiftly redirects them away from the emotional topic. "Well, you're gonna have to teach me how to make one of these sometime. I've been meaning to learn how to knit, and well...there's no real reason to put it off now," she says as she carefully folds the blanket.
He grins behind his mug that he'd brought to his lips again to take another sip of the delicious coffee. "Just name the time and place."
"I'm holding you to that," she quips as a smile curls on her lips. Her expression softens as she looks down at the folded blanket briefly and reaches a hand out to stroke it once more. "You know, I kept the one you gave me all those years ago. It was one of the few things I brought from place to place. After…" she trails off for a moment, and a frown creases her brow. "After we lost in Wakanda, I went back to get it. I hadn't been able to swing by my place while I'd been on the run, and it was such a comfort having it with me again."
The words had tumbled from her mouth faster than he was accustomed to with her, and there was a little shy smile on her face telling him she perhaps hadn't meant to reveal quite that much.
"Well, I'm honoured you kept it all those years," he says honestly. Natasha was not typically one to keep souvenirs or keepsakes, so the fact that she had kept the blanket he'd gifted her early on in her tenure at SHIELD meant the world to him.
"Of course, I did, Phil. You were my friend. A damn good one," she insists. She gives her head a little shake before picking up her mug and taking a sip. "This will make this place feel even more like home," she adds as she partially lifts the blanket before dropping it down to the counter.
"Good," he agrees with a nod. That she was now referring to the house as her home warmed his heart. He'd known when he'd been waiting to greet her upon her arrival in the afterlife that her journey of coming to terms with things wouldn't be easy, but he'd hoped she would get there quickly. As it happened, it had taken her longer than he'd hoped for, but her happiness tells him she is now far more at peace and settled with things than when she'd first arrived. And if there was anyone who deserved some peace, it was Natasha.
"So, do you have some time? I haven't seen you in a while. Last time we talked you had just started working on the new Lola," she says, startling him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, I've got some time," he agrees. It had been a while since they'd last had a chance to sit down and chat. She gestures for them to head over to the sitting area in the room just off the kitchen, and he obliges, making his way over to one end of the couch. "You finish up all the projects in here?" he asks.
She nods. "Yep. The last thing was some painting upstairs, and I finished that up a few days ago."
"Did the house get the Stark seal of approval?"
She chuckles. "He campaigned strongly for more tech but eventually accepted that I enjoy doing some things the old-fashioned way. I'm pretty sure he's just gonna keep tinkering with all the stuff he installed anyway though."
"Probably. That gonna bother you?"
"Nah," she answers with a wave of her hand. "He's been a good friend to me. I don't mind. I know he's got his parents and family here, but sometimes he just wants to talk to someone who was there for the more recent part of his life. And...it's nice to have someone who's been through some of what I have."
"Never pegged you two to get along. He was pretty pissed at you when he found out you were SHIELD."
"Most of the time he only pretended to hold grudges. He got over it pretty quickly. Plus he grew up a lot over the years. I suppose we all did."
"Yeah, you're certainly not the same young woman I met in that interrogation room all those years ago."
"Oh, don't remind me," she says with a wince. "Not my finest hour."
He smiles. "I don't blame you for any of that. You were still fighting against all that crap they put in your head."
"I know, but still…it's embarrassing."
"Maybe so. But hopefully worth it in the end?"
She smiles warmly. "Definitely."
"Good. Now that you're done with this," he says with a vague gesture to the house, "what's the next project?"
"I'm not sure yet. I might take some time to relax and get used to this first."
"Well, you're welcome to help me with my car if you want," he offers. Her nose wrinkles at the suggestion and he rolls his eyes. "Fine. I'll ask Stark instead then."
"Probably a better choice," she says with a chuckle. "Although he might get a bit excited at the prospect since I turned him down for most of the upgrades he offered me for the house…"
He stares blankly as the possibility of Stark overwhelming him with upgrades flashes before him. "Yeah, you know what? Maybe I'll keep that project on the QT," he agrees with a nod.
They spent the better part of the next hour chatting and catching up on the stories of Natasha's renovations of her house and reminiscing over some of the more ridiculous ops from their STRIKE team Delta days. Once they'd finished their coffee, they'd switched to alcohol, leading to a more relaxed and contemplative mood. As a result, the conversation naturally turned to a more philosophical topic as the afternoon wore on.
"Hey, Phil?" Natasha asked after a few beats of comfortable silence.
"Yeah?"
"Is there… Do we know if there's something after this?"
"Well, there should probably be lots more people here if there isn't. So…maybe?" She looks thoughtful as she considers his answer. "Why? Eager to leave me so soon?"
She smiles at his bad joke. "No, I just— I don't know that this will be enough for eternity. I love you guys, and I can't wait to be able to see everyone else eventually, but eternity's a long time. At a certain point, don't you think it'd be nice to just…stop?"
He takes a sip from his glass and rolls her question around his mind. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it too from time to time. The fact that the afterlife was real — well, as 'real' as he could glean anyway — had already been unexpected. To think there might be something else after that…
"I think, in as much as this place is designed to give us peace, and rest, and happiness…" he begins slowly and thoughtfully. "I think there's probably a way to move past it. I don't know that I believe that we're eternal. Maybe we will reincarnate, I don't know. But I don't think we would stay here forever. If I learned anything from movies about immortality, it's that it has its drawbacks. I don't think whatever higher power is in charge of all this would doom us all to that ending."
She hums softly with a slow nod before sipping at her glass. "I suppose I should just be happy for what I have now."
"We have what we have when we have it. Didn't you used to say that?"
She rolls her eyes. "If I'd known people would actually remember what I told them, I would have spent more time crafting my quotes into something a little more eloquent."
"You did have a knack for those little phrases now and then. Like I used to tell Clint — you'd lived a lot of lives for your years. I think to a certain extent, we all had."
"You saying we should have gone into motivational speaking?"
"Can you imagine Clint giving a speech?"
She laughs heartily. "Maybe just you and me then."
"Ah, what could have been," he says with a shake of his head. "To our alternate realities," he says as he holds up his glass in a toast.
She stares at him blankly for a beat. "You forgot I died in a timeline that wasn't my own, didn't you? I literally died in a different reality."
His grin vanishes. Well shit.
But then he sees her smile curling on her lips, and he knows she's messing with him. "That's just mean, Natasha. Just for that, I'm taking back the blanket," he threatens.
"It was a gift. No take-backs," she says while pulling the blanket toward her protectively.
"Yeah, yeah. See if I do anything nice for you again."
"You will. You're too good a person not to."
"Well, thanks for that slightly backhanded compliment."
She chuckles. "You're very welcome."
bonus points to anyone who remembers that in a previous chapter that said blanket was displayed in her afterlife home, and also that Phil had given her one in their SHIELD days!😉 (Chapter is "They Have Therapy Here?" just in case you were curious!)
tried to keep this one lighter, but a little angst snuck in...as usual.
always love to hear your thoughts, so comments are appreciated.
more to come!