Article 4 - Chapter 4 - You Have Yet To Know Despair

Warnings: I do not own Naruto, it's intellectual property is owned by none other than Masashi Kishimoto. I own the OC's that I've added to the story and nothing more.

EDIT: (2/10/2018) - Made changes to the story, writing structure, and combed through the chapter for mistakes. I probably will still miss some stuff, but I hope you guys enjoy the work I spent polishing the story.

┬┴┬┴┤ Chapter 4├┬┴┬┴

┬┴┬┴┤神の起源├┬┴┬┴

My second birthday came and past as if it were as elusive as the wind. My mother had baked me a cake which tasted wonderful. I would have normally declined eating on account that It would go against my macro-nutrient goals for the nutritional plan that I had been sticking too, but the fact that my mother made it - I couldn't resist.

I'm starting to think that I'm growing on my mother as she has seemed to be less miserable… but maybe that's just me seeing it because I want it.

Why do I want it? It shouldn't matter to me. This after all is my 2nd bout through childhood, surely I got enough of it the first go around.

But I still felt myself yearning… for something more substantial.

I wanted to cultivate the closeness that we had never had before so I happily ate the cake. Cherishing it in small pieces so there would always be more.

After my 2nd birthday I was allowed to begin taijutsu training with Hizashi and Neji along with several other children. All of the children were at least 3 years of age, and Hizashi told me that I was the youngest to start training in the past 30 years. Something about that statement and the way he said it made me proud even though I knew in the end I was cheating.

My head start was certainly not fair to say the least. I had beginner training in several different disciplines of fighting in my last life and none of them really stuck. I loved the confidence and power that training it brought me, but I had always been to kind of a soul to handle the violence, especially at the younger ages that I trained at.

I decided to start off by absorbing the gentle fist in its more pure state. I tried pushing any former instruction for fighting out of head, so I could truly understand how my clan went about combat. I theorized that in the end, when I have started to gain a mastery over the gentle fist style that I could start trying to adjust it with different stylistic changes.

(That and I knew it was in bad faith to assume that you know better than your instructor especially from such a young age. I would be the good little girl until I could grasp as much as they would let me.)

In the beginning, learning the taijutsu formations was a bit awkward, the strength and flexibility required to perform them while absorbing contact was unreal. Although part of that might have had a bit to do with how little I weighed hence diminished leverage.

I had first thought the gentle fist would be mostly upper body and why I focused on my upper body so much. Sure I ran yes, but my legs were a bit too underdeveloped to start actually loading up weight to do squats with or the sort.

Even the younger kids knocked me down a few times in the beginning. (Much to Neji's amusement I might add.) After getting my ass knocked down a few times, I began grasping the form and how to move my body between formations with efficiency.

I would watch my sparring opponents ankles and torso to conclude where their weight was distributed and how I could exploit them in their moments of weakness. After the first day of training I was able to destroy the children near my age and then came the fated battle between me and Neji.

Neji had this presence about him that was completely different. Even at this tender age his look would change when he was entering combat mode. Like a switch was flicked and all of a sudden he could unleash this confidence that would make me feel like I couldn't even touch him.

"Start!"

Neji took a step closer with that "winning smile" if his. His footstep light and crisp, then rotating 180 degrees, before taking another step forward. I watched him carefully. Even without the Byakugan my vision was very sharp. Dynamic movements were scanned and able to be analyzed at near superhuman speeds. A detached focus let me see minute movements that may have escaped the average eye.

I will never take this vision for granted. I know very well what it's like to traverse life and compete with less detailed and accurate visual information.

I pulled my body as close as I could get to the ground to be able to react to his strikes without being pushed over like several of the others had managed with me.

Neji knew he was superior and went to close the distance in an instant. I bent my back avoiding one of his hands, but then Neji spun on his heel and the back of his fist impacted with my head.

As soon as I felt contact, I moved with the punch, dispersing the impact out over time and distance, making it feel more like a slap. I grabbed his wrist, yanking him closer, but his frame hardly budged. I could faintly tell by my extrasensory perception that he had gathered more chakra in the key areas needed for leverage.

I was not well versed in that technique yet (Channeling Chakra to specific points to the body for augmentation.), as my chakra control was still a bit shaky, and I needed to train my physical body. It was the most lacking so I figured once I had a mastery over it, when I finally began mixing the body and Chakra augmentation together, the fact I had been practicing them separately would mean something like a multiplicative relation to my growth and power.

I was never one for gradual. I know myself enough to say that I'm incredibly greedy with how I want to spend my effort. If i wasn't spending it to how I deem efficient, than why bother when It could be served in much better ways. If I was going to put in the effort, I didn't want any half measures.

I tried to emulate Neji. I decided I couldn't win without attempting it, so I called chakra into the body parts I focused, but it moved shiftily, almost feeling like it oozed. I couldn't get it to the right places in time. Despite that, I was currently able to physically bob and weaved through the flurry of his strikes aimed at me.

I was tremendously outclassed, every second only making it more apparent. I needed to draw him in and end it with a sneak attack… It would be my only hope to pull out a victory.

He seemed to favor his left side for balance and the right side for strikes. It would be unusual for a kid this young to be equally proficient with both sides of his body.

I waited and moved my left shoulder closer to him, inviting a strike, when I saw it~

~For a split second, before the strike, he was vulnerable enough to a foot sweep. I knew it had to be there before, but it was more pronounced now that he had exhausted a bit of his stamina.

I lunched at him with my palm aiming for his chest. He moved to my left swiping my wrist out of the way. I should have been unbalanced from this state but by now I had seen this move used on me enough to be ready with my answer.

I pushed off the ground in a backflip, pulling my outstretched legs overhead and touched down. Neji didn't want to let me recover my balance and blitzed me.

After touching down, I absorbed all the energy I could, bending low from a wide stance. I pushed the chakra I had been holding still down into my legs while placing a palm on the ground.

I flexed and aimed a scissor kick to his ankle. I saw it approaching him and I waited to see a look of realization on his face. To see that confident persona shred before my eyes.

It did not.

My foot struck his ankle but it did not budge.

Instead his palm grew ever present to my face and I could only blink in wonder.

Time seemed to trickle by in slow motion, but no matter how I pulled at my muscles with my mind they would not budge. I was still in the low position locked on my outstretched legs with nowhere to retreat.

Baaaam!

I don't really remember the rest of the day, It was hazy but I was told I passed out after Neji's strike. I remember knowing that Neji was a genius and that even rock lee had never defeated him in a spar up until at least past the chunin exam from canon, but WOW.

That kid was something. This great hurdle appeared before like a complicated puzzle I had to solve. If I were to establish myself as the prodigy of prodigies, I would have to overtake this king. I will build my throne on top of his. My first achievement - I want to be recognized for was at least being this kids equal in fighting prowess, then eventually surpassing him.

It was unfortunate that I wasn't born a little sooner as I am a little under half of his age.

No, no, no. I can't think like that, I have to think positive.

It's a blessing I was born younger than him, when I overtake him it will just be that much more impressive.

When I went home and thought about the fight, my hands trembled.

It was terrifying remembering the feeling of dread when there was nothing that I could do but just sit there and take his hits.

-but that's not why my hands were shaking. My hands were shaking in anticipation, the worthy goal I would have to conquer.

┬┴┬┴┤神の起源├┬┴┬┴

(1 month later)

[Mina: 2 Years 1 month - Neji: 4 years 6 months-ish]

The young Hyuga's birthday was today. The compound was full of life with people moving back and forth. There were festivities planned but the dreaded ceremony was no doubt to ensue.

The birthday party was fun for us side-branch members because we were allowed to play under the Great Gale Gazebo. I don't know what made them name it something so pretentious but it's design was a wind funnel or sorts and the ball we pushed and punched around would be carried away with the massive gusts. The goal of the game was to push the ball into an other players' foot, to which they were considered out. It was a one-for-all game type, and it was surprisingly enjoyable.

Afterwards, we all sat down to eat, but the side branches children were kept away from the main table for the elder side branch members and the main family. I challenged Neji to see who could eat the fastest. The way he challengingly scarfed down his food made me bust out laughing.

He was so competitive, even if it was something outrageously dumb. I loved that about him. It caused being with him to never be that bad. At the very least I was always entertained.

After he beat me at speed eating, I flashed him a grim smile, a smile we both knew well. A sparkle appeared in his eyes, the one when he knew I would issue him a challenge.

┬┴┬┴┤神の起源├┬┴┬┴

"A race? But we just finished eating, aren't you supposed to wait 30 minutes after eating before strenuous exercise?"

Well… sure, that was the well established belief even in this world. But if we went by those rules he would recover too quickly and would certainly beat me.

"What if you need to move right after eating and it's like.. Life or death or something. This is like training too in a way." I retorted.

He seemed to ponder that before he looked up with a smile. "You are truly insufferable."

"I take that means you accept my challenge?" I spit out with glee.

I didn't win… Sadly even with the handicap of him eating faster, eating more food. It didn't feel great to lose, but I wasn't the only one that lost. He lost his lunch along the way but still trudged on like a little soldier. I laughed so hard that I fell down watching him trying to even kick up another gear having lost some of the ground he would have had if still traveling at the same brisk speed.

I knew I couldn't win, but after I managed to stop laughing I pushed myself hard too. Even if I still lose to Neji, I can still do better than I did last time.

When we finally got back to the compound the ceremony was set to start. They were sorting the youngest of the clan into groups. The groups that were the main family, the groups that were the branch family and already had their seals, the branch family children who didn't have their seals and were training in taijutsu, and the children who had yet to start training.

The Branch family kids who had already undergone the ceremony had pity in their eyes when looking at my group.

Oh no…

I had hoped that I would be young enough to somehow avoid the caged bird curse seal this time around but I had officially started training one month too soon. DAMNIT!

I don't want to recall the ceremony. I don't want to remember the horror on little lady Hinata's face when watching Neji, myself, and the rest while we were branded like cattle with the insignia of lost freedom. Freewill did not exist while bound to this twisted family. We as people, had more in common with tools and property.

The pain was similar to how I remembered to have my entire body sucked into myself and experience my entire 'old' life in an instant. (I'll admit the pain was less, but it was much more prolonged.)

Certainly the inventor of this jutsu didn't have a single shred of sympathy or surely there was something they could have done to, at the very least, lessen the pain.

Neji's face and demeanor completely changed after that day. Where he would compete with me with anything under the sun with a smile, he now devoted himself fully to the clan with removed emotions... Like he had lost hope of ever having freedom. Like he gave up.

But I would not relent. There was nothing that could make me give up. I understood that there were always options... Or perhaps, I just was just willing to explore those options regardless of the consequences.

You can brand a 2 year old with this accursed mark, but when I'm strong enough I will break this entire family. I'll splinter everything it believes in and rewrite the damn thing. Surely this could not be allowed to continue. Times change, and I came from a time when the belief of free will and freedom was more universal than water.

This is certainly slavery, It only LOOKS prettier.

Defend the main branch!

Give life and limb for your superiors…

It's a belief held by both my clan, and the village… A despicable one.

Maybe I couldn't fix everything, but surely I can make a positive change somewhere correct? Even if I'm never strong enough to save the world and go toe to toe with the godlike entities of the Ōtsutsuki clan.

Surely change on this small of a scale is possible correct? It's not just some childish dream.

Or maybe that's just the child in me blinding me, but I doubt it.

┬┴┬┴┤神の起源├┬┴┬┴

I didn't feel like doing anything else today… I just wanted to lay in my bed.

I thought about grabbing a leaf from beneath my mattress to channel chakra through, but I felt more content putting my pillow over my head to drown out the cruel outside world.

I heard the main room's door slide open and felt my mom's chakra enter the house.

The warm feeling that I got whenever I knew she was home didn't wash over me this time. I was far too blinded by pain and frustration to feel anything else.

I felt her pace around the house like something was on her mind, the floorboards creaking slightly underfoot.

I briefly thought about going out there, but her seeing me never seemed to improve her mood, so I favored staying sprawled out upon my silky bed sheets instead. I took a small comfort in running my skin over it to feel the pleasurable sensation even if my head splintered with pain.

I wonder if mother regrets being born into this clan? She never seems to be happy here but she can never leave because she had the Byakugan. Even with the seal it wasn't safe for Hyuga to relocate away from the village.

I stared at my palm, which I had pulled from over my face, staring over my already callused hands. The hands that with every right should be dainty and feminine, were instead already becoming worn and rugged. If I were to ever take on a significant other, I wondered how would they would see my hands?

Even-more, If I were to have a significant other would I want a boy or a girl?

The thought was silly, sure, but anything to distract me from the hell that was my home life would be a welcomed reprieve.

My door popped open. I wondered what mother could want, she usually asked me to do things from behind the door if she could. Probably so she wouldn't have to look at me.

She made a small whimpering noise.

It was at that moment, I knew there was something wrong, sitting up in my bed to look at her.

My mother had tears in her eyes, and in her... in her left hand she clenched at a kunai.

My mother's eyes of pure white looked broken and empty as they leaked profusely.

My heart ran a mile a minute.

My hand clenched at my bedspread.

Was she here to kill me?

Was this it? Did she finally decide to take me out of this world like she brought me in?

She inched closer to me, her eyes shaking and without her Byakugan active.

I scooted backwards and pressed my back against the wall.

I wanted to scream but the noise got lodged in my throat.

My knuckles visibly turned white.

The hair on my neck stood on end.

My mouth became dry and all I could think about was my survival.

She took another step, only mere feet from the edge of my bed she was now leaning over.

Boo'd Up - Boo'd Up. (My heart raced in my chest.)

"I'm sorry… That I was such a poor mother…" she said. "-But Youuu won't ha..ave to worry a-bout it anymore… I promise…" She let out in quivered breaths, like her heart was breaking.

I was ready, I was ready!

If she charged I could still surprise her, perhaps she doesn't know how proficient I am yet!

"I- I wanted to be able to love you… but I couldn't"

My eyes burned from keeping them open without blinking, warm tears oozed out from their edges but I refused to close my eyes, not even once.

I kept waiting for her charge.

-but it never came.

She fell to her knees bringing the kunai up and... and... crudely slit her own throat.

"...?"

Horrified, I watched her body fall over in a heap. A crimson pool formed and gathered on the ground growing ever larger.

I watched the light fade from her eyes, as she made gurgling noises, choking for just another breath.

Her snow white byakugan, The ones which lacked any imperfections… the shine had left them.

No light could be seen.

All intelligence gone.

I stood eerily still… My whole body felt tight. Tension in every muscle.

Boo'd Up - Boo'd Up - Boo'd Up.

I couldn't move.

The pool only grew as it started to stain some of my bed-sheets that had fallen to the floor during my retreat.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

I couldn't close my eyes. I was afraid that I would never forgive myself if I did.

Slowly I crept to the edge of the bed, little by little. I peered over and stared into the lifeless eyes that seemed to peer through the ground, staring at something I just couldn't see~

~Past the entire world into the land of the dead. My mom had taken her own life in front of me.

NO!

Wha-

Movement. My mom's body moved!? Her eyes began to darken and I could see them transition from white to black. Black as midnight, black as her hair.

Her lip quivered ... then nothing.

-And her lip moved again…

"Your mother wanted to commit suicide before she ever had you, but I figured that would have been in bad taste, so instead, I waited till today before finally allowing her to have her wish."

The words were spoken in the voice of my mother… but they were undoubtedly spoken by the damned-able being-X.

"YOU TOOK HER FROM ME!"

"She wanted nothing more from the bottom of her heart to leave, do you not see it as mercy?" she spoke.

"No! NO! NO! NO! NO!" I shouted.

"Wa-" she started.

-But i screamed. I screamed and screamed until my throat felt strepped. Blood curdling screams sounded throughout the entirety of the compound. Several people broke into our house; Into my room.

The black eyes that just haunted me, which had appeared in my lifeless mother's head, were now gone, instead being replaced by the again snow white beauty.

The clansmen who broke in found me sobbing uncontrollably. It didn't take long for them to pull me out of the room. I didn't have the power to fight against them even as I tried.

"No! Please don't make me go... NO!"

...I couldn't wriggle free and they continued dragging me ever further.

She was gone… She was gone and there was nothing that I could do.

...

Authors Notes: Zemptai-sama again, I really want to skip further into the future but there are some key events I still want to touch on briefly. The next chapter will simply be a list of journal entries that mina has made that the audience can read giving them insight on some of the things that happened to her the time I refuse to cover. (If anyone strongly disagree then send me a review stating why and I'll consider changing my views, but It's still unlikely.)

Enjoy the story and I earnestly ask anyone who is willing to, to write me a review. I will cherish each and every one of them and respond as best as I can. I write so I can share with you guys, and it warms my heart to hear your opinions and interact with the readers.

SPECIAL THANKS to "Ashborn2271" who left me a review, It means a lot!

-Ashborn2271 -"Would have been more interesting if it was Neji SI with him doing a revolution."

- okay ouch, normally you would try telling me things inside the story that I could change to make it better than trying to tell me to write a different story. I like the idea and I'm still thankful for the review, so thank you… HOWEVER, Neji will never be the focal point of the story even if I do intend on adding this to my own head canon later. Im perfectly fine doing interludes to help see the inner workings of different characters which is actually why I numbered the top of each chapter with an "Article #" so interludes and such can still be numbered neatly. Thanks for your suggestion, I hope to see more constructive reviews in the future!