Article 6 - Chapter 5 - Fading Into Shadows
Warnings: I do not own Naruto, it's intellectual property is owned by none other than Masashi Kishimoto. I own the OC's that I've added to the story and nothing more.
-[I'm still uploading the Journal entries, but I figured I could also pander to my fans that want to see how everyone reacts after the incident which is understandable. This one goes out to the fans, far be it from me to deny you guys!]-
…
I was defiant.
I wanted to have some semblance of control, something I have not felt in a long while.
It seems no matter how hard I want something I can never catch up to it.
I always just fall short from the mark… tantalisingly close.
The clansmen wanted to talk to me, but I didn't have anything to say.
I didn't want to talk and at 2 years old I had doubted they would make me.
I had just been given the curse mark and lost my only parent in the same day.
Was I expected to just move on like everything was okay? BECAUSE IT WASN'T.
Being-X is an existence to be feared, whenever I develop attachment, his cold hand can't seem to help itself. It was to swoop in and correct it. Bring me back to my senses. To remind me, that I'm not just some kid.
Well so what! I don't care if the fight is useless, I'll fight because I can, as hard as I can.
I never feel hungry.
I know I need to eat, and I still have to prepare. I knew war would be inescapable and that I would have to be ready. I couldn't choke down all the nutrients I would need to eat normally, so to help I lavished the food with hot sauce.
My mouth didn't feel ready for the burn, but that's what made it so much better. It was pain to help me reaffirm my enemy. That I can't depend on anyone but myself because Being-X gives, and takes away.
I'm honestly surprised that he even provided me with a kekkei genkai as powerful as the byakugan. If he really wanted to punish me he could have still had me born into the hyuga and given me none.
It was as if he was taunting me, like he said I needed his help.
The days melded by into a week. I had been forced to spend time with Ayasha so she could check up on me.
"You look pale, have you been getting enough sleep?" she would ask.
I look pale because the blood runs cold beneath my skin.
I nod my head to her indicating that I had.
-It was a lie. I didn't like to close my eyes. It would callback to when mother opened her throat.
It hardened me. I would say that it made me stronger, but It seems it has worried those around me.
"The bags under your eyes missy tells a different story… are you being honest?"
I gulped… I knew I couldn't fight it… ofcourse she would see it, she wasn't stupid.
I shook my head indicating that I hadn't been truthful.
A relieved expression briefly flashed on her face. Yes, she looks like she believes she won some small victory. The more of those I let her have the less she will bother me.
I don't need… whatever this is, I'm fully capable of providing for myself… although expecting her to believe that probably was a bit over-reaching. Hence why I have to resort to these games to make her feel like she's making progress.
It's cold, It feels like I have to be on guard, It's honestly exhausting. I knew that I would need to wear a mask in this life, but perhaps I expected a lighter one to carry around so early. I thought I could build my tolerance bit by bit, but that damnedable Being-X ruined all that.
He could have had her stab me if he wanted… I likely would have been powerless to resist… He wants me to know that he can get to me anytime.
"... Mina-kun, are you paying attention?"
I look up to Ayasha-san and try to put a brave face on. I smile and nod.
Perhaps my acting would still need improvement… She frowned.
…
Lately when I'm supposed to be sleeping, I lie in bed with my eyes shut. I can focus on feeling the presence of chakras around me, to be aware. If I was not aware, I was sure I would be ambushed. Something would sneak up on me without my knowing. It was terrifying.
It's one of the only ways I can suppress the nightmarish images from playing through my eyelids.
Sleep is a commodity that is necessary, but I never sleep too hard. Something as light as the wind sweeping through the trees could wake me.
I would lay at attention and feel to see if I could locate any unfamiliar or out of place chakra signatures. There is no rest for the wicked.
…
Neji doesn't smile as much anymore, but when he sees me he tries to put on a brave face. He thinks he's older and supposed to be dependable. Despite being pompous he's actually a pretty nice kid. I wonder where he gets all his strength. How he keeps it all so neat?
Well I suppose I'm pompus too, but I need to be. I must condition myself to be superior, but I must still always respect my enemy. I know that I am weak and that my enemy is strong. It has power I can't even approach to fathom while I'm a little runt who had barely stopped soiling myself.
Humanity was born weak, so they have forever strived to fight with knowledge. At what point do we gain enough knowledge to take on a deity? The damnedable Being-X must be usurped.
I need some kind of plan, I can't fly blind anymore. I need to see myself work towards something or I will go mad.
Never stop to think about where I've been… I must stare only forward, where I still must journey. What's left for me is only moving forward.
The whole experience had actually given me some much needed perspective. It made it much more obvious what was important to me. The power to survive, and the witt to cheat death.
I will forge my body like iron so it will never waever. I will sharpen my mind so it will have the answers and never hesitate.
I smiled to myself.
It was a miserable smile… I wondered if I could really do it -or If everything that I was reaching for was just out of grasp, that there would always be another mile to the race, that if I ever stopped moving forward I would drown in my own inadequacy, and that I will lose, and "It" will win.
But now is not the time for fear, it's time to prepare.
…
I was asked to appear in front of the clan, they used a long word that I had never heard in this world before but I assume it meant "with who would be fostering me."
These adults, always telling half-truths and beating around the bush.
I was asked to join them, but I knew it wasn't a request, it was expected of me. It's not the side branches place to oppose the main branch.
It seemed me being here was just a formality, as they wouldn't ask for any of my opinions as they talked about who I could be placed with.
When the patriarch asked for volunteers a familiar face appeared and stood at attention.
"Sir, I would be willing to let the child stay in my home and treat her as my own." Ayasha-san said.
It could have certainly been worse… At least I had already established something of a bond with this woman. It would make handling her easier. She would be nice but I have to remain strong. No one is safe, If I allow myself any feelings of fondness they will surely disappear like the wind.
"Does anyone have any reasons to object to this?" the patriarch asked before giving me a look as if to say 'We're not asking for your opinion though.'
The room fell silent.
Even if I couldn't stand the man, I had to admit he commanded respect. I could learn something by watching him. I never wanted to end up like him, but I had to admit that he wasn't without any good qualities.
"Yes, yes. It seems we have found you a home and someone to take care of you. You should feel blessed that you have such a supportive family. We are a pack and you are one of us, never forget that." He finished.
He waved everyone out of the room having concluded the processions. I was the only kid inside the meeting, but as I turned to leave Ayasha-san approached me.
I wanted to just duck and escape out the door but I knew it would be a headache for me later so I walked up to her appearing as formal as I could to the point I looked uncomfortable.
I would hope that my extra showing here would go a long way to prolong dealing with my problems.
"Th-thanks Ayasha-san for taking me in. I very much appreciate at it and I'm glad someone as nice as you volunteered."
It looked like tears welled up behind her eyes… I couldn't be sure because all evidence vanished after a few moments.
"Of Course goofball. Someone has to make a proper lady out of you."
Well that's a thought… although not one I wanted to deal with anytime soon.
She looked me over then knelt down to my eye level. She wouldn't break the stare she gave me as she kept looking into my eyes. I was worried what she might see.
The eyes are the window to the soul, and I could not afford to show her who I really was.
It would be too costly.
She wrapped me in her arms and pulled me close.
I let out a faint 'Eeep' noise of surprise.
"I won't let anything happen to you."
HOW DARE HER! … HOW COULD SHE! -She made such a big deal about me lying to her, and she thinks she can tell me this?
It was an empty promise, one that would have to be broken. She would either be killed or beat herself up over the tragedy to come.
Tears welled in my eyes.
I cursed my fate being stuck as a girl.
Why was it so hard to have mastery over my emotions. It was like trying to traverse to a destination with no map, no directions, and no clue. It's no wonder women seemed so mysterious in my past life; It's almost as if we are different creatures.
…
After the meeting I headed to the dojo where we would practice our sparring in small groups before the bigger outdoor spars. The indoor spars were much more individual as people would instruct us even pausing matches to explain things to us.
It made me anxious. I just wanted to hit something and I didn't want to stop.
After practicing for a while, we took a break and me and Neji snuck out to the veranda sitting on a bench.
"Neji, how do you use your byakugan?" I asked breaking the silence.
He looked relieved that I had initiated the conversation. It seemed harder to talk to him lately than it used to be. He was getting more observative everyday and I found myself being able to hide less and less of the animosity I harbored deep inside.
Lately he seems like he's lost in thought a lot. Like he's searching for his own answers but doesn't know which ones to accept.
"You cultivate chakra behind your eyes and release your chakra in a certain flow. You can achieve this flow much easier through the assistance of hand seals, but eventually you can come to force that state in your body without them."
Okay the theory behind it sounds pretty simple, but in practice I had never achieved it even after mimicking the hand seals from the clan scroll.
"I must be missing something… I feel as though I have met those conditions and yet I have not awoken them." I stated plainly.
He asked me to show him, and he activated his own byakugan in order to see how my chakra moved through the body. He was silent as I had began forming the seals I had rehearsed before.
"No, no. Those are very sloppy hand signs, how do you expect to cultivate chakra correctly with such unreformed technique?" he asked seriously.
Yes Neji was a genius, and in another sense he was an idiot. I should punch him, and I probably would have if he hadn't given me such good advice… that, and if I thought my strike might actually land.
He briefly left, running to his home and showed back up with a deck of cards in hand.
He pulled them out and showed me the illustrations of the different hand signs.
"I will drill you in hand signs until you get it right, I will not tolerate anything but an exceptional kohai."
At the very least I could tell he believed in me…
...
Neji and I began practicing other things outside Taijutsu class related to ninja training. He was single minded in his pursuit to better himself. He was never satisfied and it was actually pretty inspirational.
It also made it easier to slip out of doing childish things and spending time with Neji until the rest of the side branch came to see me as "The Second Little Prodigy"
…
Authors Notes: Zemptai-sama again, I really want to skip further into the future but i figured I could at least do this much. Let me know if you guys have any suggestions and i'll consider adding it to future updates or revising it into the story.THE FANS GET WHAT THEY WANT! The next chapter will simply be a list of journal entries that Mina has made that the audience can read giving them insight on some of the things that happened to her during the time I refuse to cover.
Enjoy the story and I earnestly ask anyone who is willing to, to write me a review. I will cherish each and every one of them and respond as best as I can. I write so I can share with you guys, and it warms my heart to hear your opinions and interact with the readers.
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SPECIAL THANKS to "pigs103"and "Mysterious Goat" who both left me a review, It means a lot!
-pigs103 -"This story is great. It's a really interesting OC and you've written them very well. I tend to not like journal entries as a format for writing. I feel they often leave a lot to be desired. It's great to have maybe one entry to learn of the nararrators thoughts but a whole chapter of them often just seem like a rushed passage of time. I want to know everything, not just Mina's perspective. I want to know how Neji reacts to Mina's mother's death. How the clan reacts. How Mina, in time, reacts to their reactions. Idk I just think journal entries limits perspectives and this last chapter ended with an event that can effect a lot of different people and I'd like to see their perspectives as well. Ultimately, the choice is yours. You've done a lovely job with the story so far and I'm sure whatever you choose will be great as well.
Really enjoying the story a lot! Keep up the good work.."
- Hope that this and the journal entries which will be uploaded tonight go a good distance to mediate what we both want. Let me know how I did and if you have any suggestions! Thanks again for the review.