Wow! I have to say the hugest Thank You to everyone reading this story and for everyone who has left such lovely, lovely comments on the story so far. I'm absolutely blown away. I appreciate each and every one of you, so much! Thank you also for your opinions on the Lydia/Davis&Jude ages, you've all helped out massively.
Thank you again, I hope you enjoy, Lexie :)
...
Lucas checked his cell again for the time, a smile catching at his lips at the sight of his baby girl beaming back at him from the wallpaper on his phone. She was six months old and changing by the day. Predictably she was a complete Daddy's girl and saved up secret smiles like the one on his phone especially for him.
It was almost eleven. He had arrived early, as he always liked to. For the past twenty minutes or so he'd been watching the street carefully, looking out for a familiar face in the crowd; Haley's face. They'd agreed to meet in Wilmington on the street Lucas had texted to her last night. He hadn't suggested that they drive down together though; he wanted his best friend with him but he couldn't face her logic and assumptions on the journey.
What they were in Wilmington for, Lucas couldn't quite say. A few days ago he'd had an email out of the blue from Lindsey. He'd almost deleted it without reading but he knew that wasn't really fair to her. So he'd read it. And then re-read it, unable to fathom quite what she wanted. He'd suspected there was something that needed to be smoothed over with Ravens or The Comet - he couldn't imagine that she'd be contacting him for anything but professional reasons. She hated his guts, and rightly so, he supposed. All she'd stated was that it was imperative that they meet in a restaurant in Wilmington the following week.
Lucas had struggled and stuttered over telling Peyton but she'd only shrugged back at him with quilted eyes and a light smile saying that he should go. She reminded him that Lindsey would only contact him for something really important. That had set his mind whirling too; he wondered if it was bad news, like a plagiarism lawsuit or being dropped from his publishers.
As the digital clock rolled forward another minute, a loud tap on the window shocked him from his thoughts. It was Haley, her eyes between welcoming and concerned. He was glad to see her, she'd always gotten along well with Lindsey and would hopefully act as a buffer between the two exes.
"Hi, thanks for coming." He told her as he stepped out of the car.
"Sure." She shrugged, looking up and down the street with her warm dark eyes, "Plus Peyton totally slipped me fifty bucks to come with you."
"She did?" Lucas arched his brow, he hated to think that Peyton was worried about this, like she had anything to be concerned about.
Haley laughed and shoved Lucas lightly on the arm, "Dude, no. Like I'd charge. Besides, I want to know what this is all about."
"You and me both." Lucas said as he squinted at the storefront of the address Lindsey had provided him with. He frowned up at the family restaurant and double checked his scrawled note. He knew Lindsey well enough and he couldn't imagine her picking this eatery over the coffee house on the corner or the posh brunch place two doors down. "Okay, this is the place."
Either Haley didn't notice the unusual location or she chose not to comment, instead she took the lead and pushed open the door to the restaurant. The place was a wall of noise; jovial music playing, chattering families and a little play area towards the back of the place.
Again Lucas frowned over his note page, "You know I'm not sure this is-,"
"There she is." Haley cut him off, taking him by the cuff and dragging him forward.
His eyes met Lindsey's guiltily. She looked much the same and different all at once. Her hands were hugged around a steaming cup that Lucas would bet was a latte, her oceanic eyes fixed on Lucas. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and she was wearing a plain v-neck sweater and very little make up; she was like Lindsey but softer around the edges.
"Haley, hi," Lindsey stood and brushed herself down to greet her old friend, the surprise evident in her voice at seeing her. She only nodded to Lucas shortly and he returned the gesture as they slipped into their seats.
Haley grabbed for the menu to scan the drinks list, deciding on a tea before asking Lucas what he'd like. He shrugged and mumbled coffee out of habit. Nodding Haley indicated towards the counter and then slipped away again.
Instantly Lucas felt the space of her absence, as though the table had suddenly stretched in length and Lindsey was as far away as the next room. Coughing gruffly, he angled a look to Lindsey, "So,"
"Right." She laid her hands palm down on the table and took a deep breath.
"If it's bad news just, come right out and say it." Lucas told her. He saw no point in dragging it out.
She shook her head, her eyes cast down and ran a hand through her ponytail, "It's,"
Lucas frowned towards her and she snapped her glance back up at him, tears suddenly glistening in eyes. Feeling as though he was suddenly drowning Lucas looked desperately to the counter but Haley was busy chatting to a lady and her little girl who were a place ahead of her in the queue. "Linds,"
She held her hand up, "Wait here. I'll be right back."
Before he could say another word she too had left the table, leaving Lucas' mind whirring. He hadn't considered for a second that this meeting would be personal, he'd anticipated only business, but seeing how upset she was a pool of dread was forming in his stomach. He felt sick at the thought of what she might want from him; some kind of joint therapy or a mercy date to a family event, he had no idea. He wished Haley wasn't stuck in the line still, so that she could run after Lindsey to the restroom and try and calm her down. He hated that she was upset, knowing that somehow it was probably his doing.
The minutes passed and Lucas waited, drumming his fingers on the tabletop. Finally Haley appeared at least, drinks in hand and a question painted over her face.
"She tore off to the restroom before we even got started." Lucas explained, covering his face with his hands. From behind them he spoke to his best friend, "This was a terrible idea."
"Um, Lucas," Haley's voice was changed, a gasp almost.
He dropped his hands and gave her a sideways glance. Her mouth was agape, her eyes fixed ahead of her. Spinning his glance, Lucas' gaze fell once again over Lindsey. And a little boy in her arms.
He was around eighteen months, Lucas would guess, with eyes like Lindsey's and a picture book clasped in his hands.
No one spoke for a moment until Lindsey swiped a tear from her eye and took a deep breath, "He's yours, Lucas. And I really can't do it anymore."
"He's mine?" Lucas echoed through a croak. He was overwhelmed and guilty, angered even. His little boy stared back at him obliviously; a little boy whom he hadn't even known existed. A swell built in Lucas' chest, the same feeling he'd had when he saw Sawyer for the first time; a want to protect and an overwhelming fit of love. It wasn't ideal, he knew, and he had no idea how he was going to tell Peyton, but right now his only thought was for the little boy opposite him. Shaking his head, Lucas indicated towards him, "Can I?"
Lindsey passed the toddler over quickly, "His name's Elliot. Elliot Keith Scott, for my Dad and for Keith, it seemed, fitting."
"He's incredible." Lucas marvelled as Elliot sat contently on his lap, flicking absently through the picture book.
Haley leaned in towards Lindsey, "When you say you can't do it anymore, you don't mean…?"
"I want Lucas to take him." Lindsey said crisply. "I've tried. I did everything the baby books said, but I can't cope anymore. I have sitters with him around the clock whilst I work, I'm not cut out for this."
"Lindsey," Haley reached across the table as Lindsey tried to push away her tears. "This is an incredible decision."
"I've decided." Lindsey said grittily.
Lucas blinked back at her, "You can't be serious."
…
Peyton swipes her hand beneath her eyes as her eyes swim over the box that's sitting on her bed. Her fingers glide over the pattern painted across the top as she considers everything that's inside. Like Sawyer's baby box, Elliot's is a message from his Mama; a message of how much she loves him and all the things she wanted to tell him, all the things she was afraid he may not hear from her.
Everyday that passed after Lucas returned home with Elliot and the adoption papers, Peyton was sure that Lindsey was going to appear on their doorstep demanding her little boy back. It's a feeling that's never really passed. With that in mind, after a particularly sweet day with Elliot and Sawyer - just the three of them whilst Lucas was away - Peyton decided that her little boy deserved a baby box like his sister's.
Closing her eyes, Peyton exhales deeply. With both of her kids she had the fear that she may not see either of them grow up. Sawyer because of the Placenta Pevia and Elliot due to Lindsey. She knows she's lucky on both counts, blessed to have been there for every step of their lives. But there has always been a chance that it may not have happened that way, hence the boxes. They're time capsules, or 'just-in-case' capsules as Lucas christened them; boxes that Lucas could never quite bring himself to be a part of because their purpose terrified him. For Peyton though they were a necessity, she's never wanted her kids to have to suffer like she did; wondering if Ellie and Mick loved her and what they would say to her if they could see her now. She wanted in some small way to be a part of their lives, even if it came to be that she would be there in person.
Lucas steps into the room behind her, his tie now loose around his neck and a scowl written across his brow, "What are you doing?"
"We have to tell them, right? Tell him, I mean." She frowns lightly and shakes her head, "No, tell them both. Maybe Elliot first…but Sawyer will be scratching at the door anyway,"
Reaching his wife, Lucas lays his hands over her upper arms to still her shaking form, "We're not doing this."
Her eyes flash up at him, wounded but defiant. "Lucas, we have to do this. If she's here then I want it to come from us. I can't have him finding out any other way. I can't let someone else take this moment, you know? It's going to suck but I can't let anyone else handle it. Maybe we should sit them down as soon as they get back from that party even,"
"If she's here," Lucas says thickly, looking down straight into her watery green eyes, "then shes' not getting anywhere near him."
"Lucas." Peyton says through a tremulous tone.
"She cannot just show up here, choosing to suddenly make an appearance in his life. She doesn't get to do that. This is his senior year. He's just made Captain and he's working for Valedictorian. I'm not going to let anything ruin that." Lucas slips his tie from his collar and throws it onto the dresser.
Peyton watches her husband carefully, and takes a deep breath, "The timing's horrible, I agree, but there was never going to be a good time for this to happen. And Ellie turned up when I was going into my senior year and I wouldn't change that for the world-,"
"That's different." Lucas states gruffly.
"It is?" Peyton pushes back. Ellie gave her up and the first she ever heard about it was when her birth mother showed up on her doorstep the summer after junior year. Peyton's not naive enough not to see that this is history repeating itself all over.
Lucas lifts the box from the bed and paces back towards the closet, "This goes back, right now."
Peyton grabs him by the arm and wheels him back around, "Hey! Don't do this, don't pull away from me. We are talking about this. We need to think of Elliot. Lindsey is his birth Mom, Lucas, he deserves to know that."
"How can you stand there and defend her?" Lucas questions bewildered, his voice devoid of anger. For the first time in a long time he looks back at his wife, unable to understand a single thing that is going on in her head.
"Defend her?" Peyton cries out, "How can you possibly think that I'm going to defend her? I'm terrified of her, terrified of what she is going to do to my family, our family Lucas! I'm his Mom, okay? And it's my job to protect him. If I could think of a way of shielding him from this for the rest of his life then I would, but that wouldn't be fair to him."
Lucas' jaw clenches, "Fair to him? What's not fair to him is that we haven't heard a damn thing from her,what's not fair to him is that she abandoned him!"
"It's not fair." Peyton agrees. "But you need to stop putting Dan into this situation."
"I am not putting Dan into this situation." Lucas grits his teeth. The very mention of his father's name always sends anger coursing through his veins.
Peyton arches her brow, "I have abandonment issues too, Luke. I get it. But I am so thankful that I got to grow up with my parents. Giving me up was the most difficult decision Ellie ever made but she gave me a wonderful life, and Lindsey's done the same. Selfishly I'm glad that she hasn't been here for the past sixteen years, because we got to enjoy Elliot uninterrupted."
Lucas inclines his head questioningly, "Then why interrupt it now? Why let her change it?"
Nodding her head, Peyton takes the box back from Lucas and lies her hand lovingly over the top of it, "Because I love him too much. In ten, twenty, thirty years time, I don't want him to ever ask me the question of why I kept her from him. I don't want him to have questions. I don't want him to ever think that I put my own feelings before his."
"You're putting Ellie into this situation, you know." Lucas shoots back but his voice is softer now.
"Mmm, I know." Peyton agrees, "But I need a good comparison. I need to remind myself why we should let them meet. Without that I'd be barricading the door."
Lucas moves to the bed and sinks down into a seated position, his head in his hands. "What if it doesn't turn out like you and Ellie? What if this is the worst decision we ever make? What if-,"
Setting Elliot's box down on the bed, Peyton crouches down before her husband and closes her hands around his, "Then we'll fix it. We'll fix it, okay?"
Hearing the quaver in her voice, Lucas pulls his hands away from his face. There are tears sparkling in her eyes and he realises that she's possibly more terrified than he is, and with good cause. It's not another father that Elliot's about to discover, but a mother, someone who could threaten every ounce of love and care Peyton has devoted to Elliot.
Lucas cradles her chin and forces her watery eyes to meet hers, "I'm sorry. We shouldn't be fighting."
"We're on the same side, right?" Peyton says in a small voice. She wonders if this is how it's going to be now; the pair of them constantly switching roles between being devastated, and being each other's rock.
"Of course we are." Lucas confirms solidly.
Peyton looks up at him, as though she can save him this time as well, "What are we gonna do, Lucas?"
Without speaking Lucas takes her hand in his own and pulls her gently down to the bed, both of them still fully dressed. Peyton lies over his chest, tickling her fingers between the buttons on his shirt and finally letting free the tears. She's trying to be strong because she has to be, for Elliot, but inside her heart is breaking.
Feeling the shake in his wife's chest, Lucas hugs his arm around her tighter and stares up at the ceiling, "We're going to lie right here," His voice breaks a little and rasps, "And I'm going to remind you of every reason that this family is stronger than you think it is."
…
Elliot waves to Joe as his friend and designated driver pulls away from the kerb. He jogs towards his house as the sun crests in the distance and the world rolls into another day. Usually he's not one for all night parties, he's not a big drinker and he hates dealing with drunk people, but making Captain kind of called for a big celebration. That and it's a means for forgetting the craziness of his uncle at Midnight Madness.
As he nears the house he realises that Sawyer's sat outside on the porch swing scowling and sketching into a notebook. She's still dressed in the tiny shorts and band tee that she wore to the party, seemingly oblivious to the world slipping into a new day around her. Honestly Elliot's a little surprised to see her there, and not just because it's close to dawn and she's sat outside the house. More that his little sister never beats him home from a party. While he almost always retires early, Sawyer likes to live out the night for as long as she can. Thankfully she too isn't a big drinker but she's always enjoyed watching her peers at parties for some reason, that and controlling the music where possible. When she first started showing up at high school parties about a year or so ago Elliot used to trail her to make sure that she didn't get into any trouble. He's learnt since then though that Sawyer can look after herself well enough and she hates him over her shoulder anyway.
Taking the steps quickly, he falls against the porch and kicks the swing lightly with his toe. Sawyer doesn't so much as jump. Instead she snaps her sketchbook shut away from his eyes and pierces him with her green stare. She pops some earphones from her beneath her curls and hits pause on her iPod.
Elliot sighs a little, sometimes his sister doesn't shut up and other times she hides behind her eyes, waiting for someone to push themselves in. "Alright, I'll ask. Why are you sat out here in the cold?"
Sawyer squints her eyes back at him, "Do you believe that when something really, really good happens that something bad happens to balance it out?"
"No." Elliot says simply, folding his arms as a signal for her to get on with it.
"I left the party because the music was lame." Sawyer tells him, omitting the fact that Griffin Lowe may have also tried to slip his hand up her shirt so she threw a drink over him and stormed out. "And when I got back here Mom and Dad were arguing. So I didn't go in."
A flicker of surprise passes across Elliot's features. Their parents don't really argue, not as such. They disagree about a silly little things and bicker lightly for days over it through secret grins and hooded glances, they rarely argue though. It's even more out of character for them to be having a disagreement in the early hours of the morning.
"Are you sure?" He chances, angling a look her way.
He can see before she speaks that her reply is going to be sour, "You know what? I probably mistook the wind for Mom and Dad's voices yelling. Of course I'm sure, you idiot!"
He swallows and surveys the now quiet house, "Okay, sorry. Did you hear what it was about?"
"No." She says shortly and then shakes her curls this way and that, "Yes. I heard something and then I turned my music up full blast and listened to that instead."
Even for Sawyer she's being a little evasive. Elliot leans back and questions her with his eyes, "What did you hear, Sawy?"
She picks at a loose hem on her t-shirt before flickering her watery eyes back up at him, "Another woman. It was about another woman."
Elliot took an ice bath once, on his uncle's suggestion. He can remember slipping into the water and the feeling of every cell in his body fighting against the cold. His lungs stopped and then gasped, his skin blued before rippling with goosebumps and his heart chased for warmth. On that day he'd cursed Nathan and vowed that he'd never take another ice bath so that he didn't have to feel like that ever again. Yet standing on the porch with the sun warm on his back, he felt submerged.
"You're not serious." He asks, knowing full well that she is. He can read it all over her face. "Another woman? Dad would never do that. He, he idolises Mom! I don't get it, Nathan said they were…making out in Dad's office before Madness."
Sawyer shrugs her slight shoulders, "Maybe she didn't know about it then."
"This doesn't make any sense." Elliot drops into the seat beside his sister and covers his face with his hands.
Sawyer leans over and lays her head against his side, causing Elliot to instinctively wrap his arm around her skinny shoulders. "I don't want to go inside. I don't want it to be different."
"Hey," Elliot turns so that his dark blue eyes are fixed on hers, "Maybe Mom was wrong, it might not be how it sounds. Or maybe it's not even about them, it could be that Mom saw someone else with another woman. It could even be some other woman who annoyed her at the grocery store, you know how she gets."
Forcing a weak smile to her lips, Sawyer brushes her hands under her eyes. "Yeah, okay."
He can tell that she doesn't really believe him though.
"Look, say something is going on," He swallows thickly, trying not to imagine it. He doesn't want to believe that their Dad could do something like that either, to their Mom, to them. Growing up his Dad was his hero and honestly he still kind of is. "It won't all be different, you know. I'll be there. That won't change."
Sawyer hugs her arms around her brother tightly, "Aunt Brooke always says that they were meant to be, that Dad wrote a whole damn books about her and showed them to the world. Aunt Haley gave me all those predictions they wrote as kids and Dad's were all about Mom. He doesn't love her, El, he worships her."
"I know, look, you need to stop doing this." Elliot tells her softly. "It's late, come inside, with me."
Sawyer doesn't make any motion to move, instead she clings onto Elliot and buries her head in his side.
"Come on, ET." Elliot slips his arms around her bag and beneath her legs, lifting her easily in his arms. She wriggles and kicks in protest but he's too strong for her to win.
"Elliot! Put me down!" She demands as he backs inside through the front door.
He quirks an easy grin back at her, ever since they were kids he's been picking her up against her will. He steps into the darkened house just as a door clicks closed down the hall and instantly he feels Sawyer tense in his arms. He hates that she's suddenly so afraid of their home, of facing their parents.
Lucas stares back at his kids as they look back at him, alarmed at being caught crawling in late from the party. Elliot is carrying Sawyer bridal style, the same way that Lucas has carried Peyton countless times. They're the image of himself and Peyton, always have been; Sawyer being her mother's double and Elliot, of course, carrying only Lucas' features.
Looking darkly over his daughter, Lucas flicks his gaze to Elliot, "Is she drunk?"
"I'm not drunk." Sawyer says fiercely and pushes her way out of Elliot's hold. "I'm fine."
With a characteristic scowl she turns away and thumps up the stairs before slamming her bedroom door. Lucas arches his brow after her and then squints towards Elliot for an answer.
Elliot looks back at him with a stare as deep as the pacific before shrugging in his own teenage way. "Night, Dad."
"Night, Son." Lucas returns thickly.
…
Peyton pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, "Let me get this straight, Lindsey just left you with him?"
She was stood across from Lucas in Nathan and Haley's kitchen, leaning all of her weight on the counter top as though she may collapse at any moment. Lucas sighed towards her and rubbed his hand softly along the base of her back. He and Haley had just returned from their trip to Wilmington with the addition of an extra passenger in the backseat. "He was grouching in my lap and she excused herself to the restroom, she never came back."
"Isn't that a little cliche?" Peyton shot back, her brow arched, "Who am I kidding? This is Tree Hill. I told you we should move away."
"Peyt," He pleaded listlessly, knowing that she was only going through the motions of processing the news.
She shook her head, "I don't mean that. It's just that drama seems to breed in this town. I'm sorry, I'm just…shocked? Selfishly kind of devastated?"
"Hey," Lucas coaxed her watery gaze up to meet his, "This is not a threat to us. I mean it."
She looked at him desperately, desperately wanting to believe him, but he could see that she didn't. Not quite. She pursed her lips before drawing a deep breath, "Lucas, there is a little boy out there with a perfect little squint and a lop-sided grin whose Mom has deserted him. He's your son. Your son."
"And you're my wife. And Sawyer's my daughter." Lucas reminded her softly.
Peyton attempted a tight smile, "I know. Okay, this is getting us nowhere. How are we going to find Lindsey?"
Grazing his hand along the back of his neck, Lucas winced, "You know I'm not so sure she wants to be found. Haley found adoption papers drawn up in the diaper bag."
"Adoption papers?" Peyton echoed, her glittering eyes crumpling to a frown, "But you're his Dad, right?"
Nodding slowly, Lucas folded his arms around her, "I am. But you're not his Mom."
"What?" Peyton broke away from him, her eyes wild.
"I think she's been planning this for a really long time, everything's in place. Typical Lindsey. It kind of makes sense." Lucas offered meekly. "All the legal stuff has been worked though. Everything has been covered so that she doesn't need to be contacted again."
Peyton stared back at him, her mouth agape with shock, "She can't just desert him! God! First she hides this ridiculous earth-shattering secret from you and then she expects us to pick up the pieces when she runs away! Lucas, are you not seeing what I'm seeing?"
"I am." Lucas assured softly, "I know it's all-,"
"All what?" Peyton cut in pointing her finger, "What word could possibly describe this?"
Lucas laid his hands on her shoulders stilling her, "It's sudden. And kind of crazy, I know, but he's my son."
Biting down on her lip, Peyton tried to contain her tears, "And you say this isn't a threat? You've already chosen him."
"I'm not choosing anyone." Lucas said, "But I couldn't very well leave him in a restaurant in Wilmington."
Peyton disappeared behind her hands and Lucas knew she was crying. He hated to put this on her; to bring home a child, a child that Peyton knew she could never give to Lucas herself following the dangerous pregnancy with Sawyer.
"Hey," Lucas closed his arms around her, "Whatever happens, we can get through this. I promise you."
There was a tap on the door followed by Nathan's sheepish frame in the doorway, "Hey, sorry,"
Brushing the tears from her eyes, Peyton shook her head, "It's okay…"
"It's just that Elliot won't settle, he's asking for his Mom." Nathan told them awkwardly. He knew that he was interrupting a serious conversation between his brother and sister-in-law but nothing he or Haley were doing was calming the little boy.
Peyton clutched her hands to her chest. She didn't like the situation at all - internally she was cursing Lindsey - but a small part of her just wanted to scoop Elliot up and tell him that everything was going to be okay. She could feel the whispers of her own voice circling in her mind; People Always Leave. The little boy whimpering in the next room wasn't so different from her.
Stepping out of Lucas' hold, Peyton swept out of the room to the lounge. At the sight of her Mom, Sawyer beamed from where she was sat with Jamie, playing pat-a-cake, Peyton returned the gesture but went instead to Haley who was bouncing Elliot in her arms.
"Here," Peyton held out her arms, "Let me try."
From behind her Lucas watched as she took the little boy and pressed a kiss into his hair in an action as natural as breathing.