Steve followed Director Fury back into the building he'd broken out of. He looked around anxiously as they passed by all the men and women Steve had run from, and he shrunk in their gaze.
"Don't worry. They understand. This is a… delicate situation." Fury promised as he led the soldier to his office. Steve nodded, hoping Director Fury was right. He noticed the man he shoved flinch as he passed, and opened his mouth to apologize, but Fury cut him off, "Come on Cap, there's someone I want you to meet."
Steve smiled weakly at the man- agent- and jogged a few steps to catch up with Fury as he reached the elevator. Steve clenched his hands together in front of himself as he stood stiffly next to Nick Fury, unsure of what to say. "Thank you. For trying to help." Steve finally told the other many gruffly. He didn't look to Director Fury, but he could feel his single dark eye gazing at him, "I'm sorry I caused so much trouble."
"It's like I said, we didn't know what kind of mental state you'd be in. We tried. We failed. But we have made some plans I'd like to run past you. SHIELD won't make you do anything you don't want to do, but, we'd appreciate your cooperation."
"Not like I have any other plans." Steve grunted as the elevator stopped abruptly. He assumed they'd reached their destination, but then he heard Fury hum to himself disapprovingly. "Is something wrong?"
Fury looked up at Steve, and sighed, but before he could answer, the elevator doors slid open to reveal a woman in a black dress with piercing hazel eyes that practically bore right through Steve. He took a step back to allow her more room in the elevator, but she just smirked and turned her attention to Fury.
"Director."
"Going down, Agent Hayes?"
"Nope. Going to your office to have a meeting with you." The woman answered, eyes darting to Steve for a moment, barely acknowledging his presence. Steve was thankful for that, because he didn't know the first thing to say to this woman.
SHIELD had sent the woman into his recovery room dressed to ease him into this new world, perhaps someone he could trust. The woman who now shared the elevator with himself and Director Fury was the stark opposite.
Fury ignored her answer, choosing to stand in silence as they continued upward. Steve noticed how the Director's jaw was locked and his shoulders were stiff, clearly uncomfortable with the events transpiring, but he didn't seem to want to talk about whatever 'meeting' she was referring to in front of Steve.
Since nobody seemed to want to engage in conversation, and the woman was facing away, Steve took the opportunity to study her while Fury stared ahead. Her dress hit just at her knee, but hugged her curves almost sinfully, as if its intended purpose was to draw the eye to her firm ass. Steve noticed that when she leaned her weight from one black heel to the other, her calf muscles flexed, telling him she was no secretary.
The elevator dinged and Steve took a sharp breath, causing the woman to turn and look at him with those bright eyes and coy smirk. Her lips were painted dark, a color that matched the burgundy shade of her hair that was heaped on top of her head in a mess. Peggy wouldn't have been caught dead with her hair so undone, and Steve was sure that almost purplish shade of red wasn't natural. He felt uneasy in her gaze, and that seemed to amuse her even more as the doors slid open, "I'm Agent Hayes."
"Steve Rogers." He greeted firmly and he thrust his hand forward, but she just eyed it for a moment before leaving the elevator. Steve turned to Fury, who's jaw was stiff.
"Why don't you wait out here for a few minutes, Cap? I'd like to speak with Agent Hayes in private." Fury gestured toward a chair and Steve shifted uncomfortably, wanting to run away, not sit and wait.
"Yes, Sir." Steve answered after too long a pause. His back was rigid as he took a seat, clenching the chair arms for dear life as Director Fury disappeared behind a door with his name on it.
Steve had a million questions, and he hoped somebody would have time to sit down and answer them. Director Fury seemed too busy to help Steve understand the situation he'd found himself in, but he assumed SHIELD would want to catch him up on the time he'd slept through. He'd slept through almost seven decades apparently, how the hell was he supposed to know how to live on his own? Hell, Steve barely knew how to survive on his own when he wasn't thrust forward in time. The worst part was that Steve didn't know what happened to all his friends. Just because they won the war didn't mean his companions survived it.
Steve's chest rose and fell as he stared at the frosted door, seeing the silhouettes of Fury and Agent Hayes through the glass. He couldn't hear them, but he could see Fury was stiff and still, and the woman was animated. She threw her arms to the side before placing them on her hips, and Steve wondered if she was yelling at Director Fury.
In his day, no soldier would ever speak to their superior like that… although Steve often didn't listen to directions, at least he was calm in the presence of authority.
Finally, the door swung open and Fury sighed loudly, gesturing for Steve to join them, "Come in, Cap."
Steve smiled weakly when he passed Fury, then his gaze landed on Agent Hayes and he couldn't help but notice she looked incredibly smug. He also noticed that Fury made no effort to dismiss her, meaning she was now part of whatever conversation Fury planned to have with Steve. He took a seat across from a long glass desk near the window.
Steve couldn't look away from the skyline, feeling his stomach churn at how different it looked. After everything he'd seen and done, he had always imagined coming back to New York. He'd always imagined that after all the Hydra facilities in Europe, the dirty streets of Brooklyn would welcome him home to something familiar. Now, nowhere in the world felt like home.
Fury sat in his chair and leaned his leather jacket against the glass desk, staring at Agent Hayes as she took a seat next to Steve and crossed one leg over the other. Steve met Fury's glance and felt a shiver run down his spine, wanting the woman to leave. In fact, Steve wanted both to leave. He wanted to be alone.
"Captain Rogers, when we realized you were still alive, we knew this would be a difficult transition for you. We had hoped to make Agent Johnson your handler for the time being. She was the woman who greeted you when you woke up, but, things didn't go quite as planned. We're reconsidering whether or not you two would make a good match."
"I didn't mean to startle her." Steve's response was even, and he already knew where this was going. The woman who had ambushed them in the elevator was taking the place of the pretty brunette who had attempted to ease him into this harsh new reality. Steve wanted that woman back, "I'd like to apologize, if possible-"
"That won't be necessary. She understands." Fury answered, eyeing Agent Hayes for a second, "She's a little shaken apparently, and Agent Hayes has offered to help you adjust."
"Alright." Steve said as he turned to Agent Hayes, keeping his expression neutral so she didn't think for a second that he held the same excitement about the arrangement that she clearly did. He considered telling them he didn't want any part of SHIELD, that he didn't need their help or their pity, but Steve thought better of it. He didn't have money, he didn't have a home, or a job, and he didn't know a single soul. He didn't enjoy his predicament, but it would be easier to find his place in this world with help than on his own. "I don't even know where to begin."
"That's alright. We do." Agent Hayes said as she grabbed a folder off of Fury's desk and handed it to Steve. He tentatively took it from her, noticing how olive her skin looked compared his pale hand. His eyes darted up to hers for a moment, then down to the file as she began to explain SHIELD's plan for him. "We have a safe house called the Retreat. It's off the grid, somewhere quiet where you can relax and catch up a little. I'd like to accompany you there and offer any assistance you may need. After a few weeks, we'll relocate you to a place of your own and you'll begin training to join SHIELD."
"If you want to." Fury added, but Steve knew it wasn't really a choice. He was all in, or he was out.
Agent Hayes stood abruptly, and Steve watched her as she walked over to the window beside Fury, "You know who started SHIELD, don't you?"
"Why would he know that Hayes, he's been awake for an hour and a half." Fury spat, and Steve pulled his lips into a tight line.
The woman traced a smudge along the glass thoughtfully, "Just thought maybe he'd want to know."
"That's your job, Agent Hayes. Why don't you get packed? I'll have transport pick you up at 0600 hours tomorrow morning to accompany Cap to the Retreat."
The woman raised her brow questioningly as she looked down at the back of Fury's bald head, then winked at Steve, "See you in the morning, Captain."
Steve tensed at her words, avoiding her gaze as she sauntered past him and out the door. The moment the door clicked closed, Steve relaxed, and Fury cleared his throat. "You alright?"
"As alright as I can be, Sir." Steve answered curtly, not in the mood for pleasantries. He sat down the file on the desk, choosing not to deal with it right now. "I'm sorry. I'm just processing."
"I'm sure you are. Agent Hayes will do a great job. She's not timid like Agent Johnson, and she can be anything you want her or need her to be. Just be open minded and take all the time you need. You've earned it." Director Fury told Steve gently as he stood to shake Steve's hand again. "Maria Hill will escort you to your sleeping quarters for the night. I'll have some agents pick you up some clothes. Is there anything specific you want?"
"Where's my uniform?" Steve asked quickly as a lean woman with her dark hair pulled back neatly swept into the room. She nodded a greeting and smiled weakly as Steve waited for Fury's answer.
"We have it. You won't be needing it for a while. We're working on a new suit for you as we speak."
"If it's all the same to you, Director Fury, I'd like my suit from the war back please." Steve wanted what little bit of his past he could have, but SHIELD didn't seem too keen on giving it to him. "My shield?"
"When you need it again, you'll get it back. I promise." Fury said as he gestured for Steve to follow Maria Hill. "Enjoy your vacation, Captain. We'll see you when you return."
Steve followed the woman named Maria Hill out of Fury's office and back into the elevator. He had a dull ache that ran from his chest down to his stomach, and it reminded Steve that he hadn't eaten in years. He cleared his throat and the woman looked up at him questioningly. Steve shifted, looking down at his feet, "Would it be possible to get something to eat?" Maria Hill seemed taken aback by his request, so he clamped his hands behind his back and smiled, "Nevermind, I'm fine."
"No." Maria Hill shook her head rapidly, "I'll take you to the cafeteria, I'm sure you're starving."
"You just looked surprised."
"I was surprised you had to ask." Maria grumbled as she stared ahead and led Steve through the halls of the SHIELD headquarters. She stopped abruptly and turned to Steve with a diplomatic grin, "How about I get you whatever you want and bring it to your quarters. Then you can have a little time to yourself. I'm guessing you have a lot to think about."
Steve looked past her shoulder at the mess hall beyond, seeing how everybody stopped and stared at him. Some people looked at Steve like a war hero, but some looked at him like a show pony, something sparkly and new and exciting. Either way, Steve didn't feel like talking. "Yeah. Get me anything. I don't care."
He turned and walked away, but Maria yelled after him, "You don't know where your room is."
Steve stopped and clenched his fists, feeling numb and cold. He just wanted to be alone. He tilted his head to look over his shoulder, shooting her a look that said he wasn't about to admit he was wrong. She led him down the hallway without saying another word until she reached a plain wooden door.
She handed Steve a key and smiled, "I'll be back with dinner. Let us know if you need anything."
Steve nodded and smiled back, twisting the small silver key into the lock slowly before pushing open the door to reveal a room with a small dresser and a small bed with a single blanket. It wasn't even as big as the bed he'd woken up in, and Steve wondered if he'd even fit in it. He closed the door behind himself and took a step further into the room, finding a small bathroom with a shower, toilet, and sink. The bare necessities.
When he plopped onto the hard mattress, the frail bedframe shifted under his weight. He leaned his elbows onto his knees as he felt his bravery slip away into the abyss of time. He pressed his fist to his lips as his whole body trembled, and a quiet sob erupted from his throat. Tears streamed down Steve's cheeks as he turned on his side and laid down, letting all his emotions out in his solitude.
Everyone he'd ever known and loved was gone. He'd woken up in a world he didn't understand and didn't want to be in. Steve didn't want a handler, a vacation, or a job. All Steve wanted was his life back, but that was out of the question.
A light knock on Steve's door caught his attention and he sat up quickly, sniffling as he wiped his nose and ran his fingers through his hair. He hoped Maria Hill couldn't hear him crying through the door. He just wanted to suffer alone.
He swung open the door to his room to see Maria Hill on the other side holding a white box, "I'm assuming there were burgers in the forties?"
"Not on the front lines." Steve smiled back, taking the box, "Thank you."
"Please let us know if there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable. Agent Hayes will be here to collect you at 0700 hours tomorrow morning."
"She's being collected at 0600." Steve observed as he took a step farther into the room. Maria Hill seemed to contemplate her answer for a moment. Her smile was knowing and coy, telling Steve she knew more than she was going to tell him.
"She has work to do before you two head to the Retreat," was all she said, bowing her head to the side as she looked up at him slowly, "Will there be anything else I can help you with?"
"No. Thank you." Steve answered, forcing a smile that he was sure looked as uncomfortable as it felt. He closed the door and took his dinner over to his bed, sitting down and opening the white box to find the biggest cheeseburger he'd ever seen.
At least the food seemed better in… Steve realized he didn't even know what year it was. No wonder the government was sending him away with a babysitter. He took a bite of his burger and hummed, focusing on something good. He wasn't frozen in ice, that was good. He had a bed, that was good. He had hot food, that was good.
There was an analog clock on the dresser showing four o'clock. Steve wasn't tired, but he was bored. He could sit and dwell with his thoughts, or he could try and sleep to avoid his predicament.
It took all of four bites for him to devour the cheeseburger, and he ate the French fries that accompanied it handfuls at a time. Once he was done, he picked up a bottle of water sitting on the dresser and downed it, throwing away all the trash in the bathroom before looking around his room.
Steve ran his fingers along the dull wallpaper, eventually feeling a bump in it. He picked at the thin material until he could pull it away, revealing a tiny camera behind a film. He sighed and turned back to his bed, not caring if SHIELD was spying on him. Would they blame him for crying? For screaming and punching out a wall? Maybe, but they'd understand it.
The last thing Steve felt was tired, but he was determined not to sit and stare at the ceiling for the next fifteen hours. He laid down on his back and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to count the bumps in the popcorn ceiling until he could fall asleep.