Steve was pulled from his slumber by the sound of a jet landing nearby. Brooklyn didn't stir, so he assumed it was too quiet for her to hear, or she was just too tired and comfortable. Steve opened his eyes slowly, realizing that Brooklyn had rolled over in her sleep and tucked her arms between them, pressing her palms to his chest beneath his jacket while her forehead rested against his collarbone. She'd discarded her pillow and used Steve's bicep as one instead.
He didn't want to wake her, because he'd never woken up with a woman curled against him like this. Steve had never been fortunate enough to hold Peggy Carter, and no other woman wanted to stick around after they got what they wanted from him. Steve was always aware that his flustered, awkward personality was a turnoff compared to his physique. He was easy to look at and nice to touch, but nobody wanted to hang around for conversation.
At least Brooklyn didn't waste his time and energy if she wasn't interested. Or, at least she was kind enough to not use him for meaningless sex, even though he knew she would be open to it had Steve needed it from her. Brooklyn Hayes wasn't shy when it came to her past encounters, and it made Steve sick to his stomach that she'd use intimacy to extract information for SHIELD.
The sound of boots crunching through the snow alerted Steve to the impending knock that would arrive at the door. With a heavy sigh, he rubbed his hand over Brooklyn's back, shifting to try and wake her, "Brooklyn. Wake up, they're here."
"Hmmm?" She hummed against him as he slowly sat up to look at the fire that had died in the night. He groaned loudly as he stretched out his arms.
The knock was louder than Steve had expected, and based on how Brooklyn jumped, he was glad he'd heard them arrive before they reached the door. He looked down at the woman, seeing her hair messy, but she was decent in her jeans and t-shirt with her sweater hanging loosely from her upper arms. She ran her fingers through her hair and yawned, using her free hand to shoo Steve towards the door as the knocking occurred again.
Steve stood and shuffled to the door, hating how cold the cabin felt without Brooklyn's body pressed against his for warmth. He flung open the door and Nick Fury came sweeping in wearing his long black trench coat, followed by Agent Hill.
"Captain. We've been trying to contact you."
"That's my fault. I put the phones on airplane mode to save the battery in case we needed help in the night." Brooklyn moaned as she stood and pulled her sweater around her shoulders, "We're all packed and ready, we just woke up."
Fury looked to Steve with his brow raised, "You slept together?"
"Beside each other. It was cold, as you can probably tell." Steve grunted as a shiver shot down his spine and radiated out his body, "Agent Hayes has been nothing but professional, but we needed each other last night. We slept out here by the fire."
Maria Hill smirked knowingly as she stared at Brooklyn, and Steve wanted to ask what she thought was so funny, but she spoke before he got the chance, "Let's get you two back to New York."
Brooklyn gave Director Fury a firm nod as she kept a good distance from Steve.
He wanted to reach out and touch her, but Steve knew those days were done. She was back to work. There wouldn't be any more hand holding or neck scratches. From now on, Steve and Brooklyn were asset and handler, and he'd just have to accept that.
"I'll get the bags. Let's blow this popsicle stand." Brooklyn looked up at Steve and tilted her head towards the bedroom. He followed her lead and went to grab their bags, but as he pulled the handle out of his suitcase, he realized she'd been held back.
Steve peeked around the corner, seeing Brooklyn talking to Director Fury. She was facing away from him, but he could tell by her stance she wasn't happy. Fury's eyes bore into her as he kept his voice low, and when his eye looked up to see Steve, Brooklyn whipped around and stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door.
"Everything alright out here?" Steve asked sternly as he approached Fury and Hill. He let go of his suitcase and crossed his arms, staring down the pair.
"Nothing is wrong. Just giving Agent Hayes some feedback. She'll meet us back in Manhattan, she has some paperwork to fill out before your debriefing this evening." Fury explained and Steve's jaw tightened.
"She's not coming with us?"
"Not right now." Fury's tone told Steve there was nothing left to discuss, so Steve just raised his chin as he stood at attention. "Let's get moving. Your apartment is ready for you. We'll get you settled before tonight."
"Are we leaving her here alone?" Steve asked, feeling uncomfortable abandoning Brooklyn after everything she'd done over the past six weeks. She was always there when he needed her, and now that her job was done, she was on her own until she was called back in. "I'd rather she join us."
"There are protocols to follow. Agent Hayes is a professional, and you are her first asset. She needs to follow procedure before we can move forward, as do you." Fury replied evenly, keeping his eye trained on Steve, "Grab your bag. Time to go."
"Can I at least say goodbye?"
"You don't need to. You'll see her tonight. She's your handler, not your partner." Fury turned as Hill opened the front door, gesturing for Steve to lead the way.
Steve looked over his shoulder at the closed bathroom door, wanting to talk to Brooklyn, but he needed to follow orders. SHIELD gave him Brooklyn, and if he didn't do as they asked, they could take her away.
Several hours later, Steve stood in the entryway of a small Manhattan apartment near Central Park. It was simple, which Steve appreciated. It probably didn't cost a lot. The appliances were even older than the ones at the Retreat. There was a sitting room between the kitchen and his bedroom, and SHIELD had set him up with a desk and a laptop like Brooklyn's, and a landline telephone. He smiled a little to himself, knowing Brooklyn would make fun of him when she saw it. If she saw it.
"We'll send a car to collect you at six for your debriefing meeting. Take some time to relax." Fury ordered as he held onto the door frame.
"Isn't that what I was supposed to be doing all this time?" Steve mumbled as he looked out his window at the alleyway below him. He missed the view of the lake and the trees. He didn't think he would, but Steve enjoyed the secluded life. Here, he was fully aware that the world had moved on without him.
Fury just nodded and left Steve alone, closing the door behind him. The soldier placed his hands on his hips and sighed, moving deeper into the apartment to look around. He figured SHIELD was watching him here too, not that it mattered. What was Steve going to do that couldn't be watched? Sulk? Wallow in self pity and solitude? At least at the Retreat he wasn't alone, and if he got too depressed Brooklyn would snap him out of it.
It was very clear that Brooklyn would not be keeping him company here.
He pulled out his cell phone from his jeans pocket and pulled up Brooklyn's number, smiling softly at the photo he'd taken of Brooklyn last week. She was at the kitchen table, smirking at him with her head tilted so her long hair cascaded over her shoulder. She told him it looked terrible, but it was Steve's favorite photo. He clicked on her contact and began slowly typing a message, You home yet?
It only took about forty-five seconds for Brooklyn to reply, Yeah. I'm at my new apartment. Jasmine moved all my stuff in, so I'm all set. Just working on typing up my report for our debriefing tonight.
Steve smiled at the thought of seeing Brooklyn again, but he didn't want to wait another four hours, Where are you located? Can I stop by?
He waited impatiently as three little dots taunted him, blinking for about two minutes until her message finally appeared. I don't want to tell you, or else you'll want to switch. I'm a little closer to home than you are. Steve grinned through the pain of hearing that his handler was in his borough while he was stuck in Manhattan, but that gave him even more reason to visit. Before he could ask where, another message appeared, I'd love for you to visit, but I have a lot of work to get done. Rain check? I'll get you my address tonight if I'm able to.
"If you're able to?" Steve muttered to himself as he furrowed his brows, staring down at the phone, What do you mean if you're able to?
We have to keep our relationship professional. I'm sorry, Steve. I have roommates, and I'm not sure I can give away their location. I'm only scheduled to stay here until next June.
Where will you go then?
Wherever they send me next.
Steve's heart plummeted when he read the message and realized that he'd done something wrong. She was pushing him away.
I understand.
Steve set his phone down on his kitchen table and collapsed into the seat, thankful that the furniture in his apartment could take his weight better than the temporary room he'd had at SHIELD. He missed the quiet solitude of the Retreat, the lake he loved to sit by, and the trees that smelled so fresh and alive every time he opened the window or the door. Steve missed feeling like he was running out of time, because here, in his new home, it was sickeningly clear that time would drag on indefinitely.
The sound of his phone vibrating against the table alerted Steve to a new message, and he picked it up when he realized Brooklyn was trying to video chat with him.
After fumbling with the small phone, Steve finally answered the call and Brooklyn appeared on the other side with a tempered smile across her face. Her hair was done up in a tight bun on top of her head and she'd applied makeup to her eyes, making them pop even more than Steve realized they could. He'd been expecting the natural, undone Brooklyn he'd left at the Retreat, but this woman reminded him that nothing outside of his happy place was the same.
"Hey you. I want to see the new digs." Brooklyn cooed, and Steve smiled softly as her calm tone relaxed his whole body.
"It would be easier if you just came over to visit." Steve looked up and over his shoulder, wanting Brooklyn to come and help him make his bland apartment feel more like a home instead of a prison. "How was your flight?"
"It was good. We stopped by D.C. to pick up the rest of my stuff. I'm all moved in now."
"You said you're only here till June, though?" Steve asked nervously, hating that Brooklyn had a timeline when he didn't, "I kinda thought you'd be sticking around long term."
Brooklyn's face twisted uncomfortably for just a moment. Someone who knew her less wouldn't have even caught it, but Steve did. She must have sat on her bed because Steve heard the mattress shift beneath her, "It's complicated. Things might change, but for now I'm just here until next summer. You'll be okay though. I know it."
Steve lowered his head to show how disappointed he was, and it worked like a charm, because when he looked back up at the screen he saw how utterly wrecked Brooklyn's expression looked, "It's just- you're my only friend."
"You'll make lots of new friends! You're terribly likable." Brooklyn's voice broke and she forced a brave smile. "Soon you'll have tons of new people in your life and you'll replace me with somebody better."
"That's not possible." Steve murmured, contemplating telling Brooklyn that he loved her. He knew he wasn't ready to date, and that they'd probably have a volatile romantic relationship, but that didn't mean Steve didn't love his best friend. He sighed, knowing that was too complicated to explain, and she'd run from him instead of pulling away slowly like she was now. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. I know you think you're easily replaceable, but you aren't. Not to me. Just know that, okay?"
Brooklyn shifted, looking around her room uncomfortably before murmuring, "Okay."
"Want me to give you a tour?" Steve asked, changing the subject before Brooklyn could come up with an excuse to hang up.
She smirked and laid onto her back, holding the phone above her, "It's only the reason why I called in the first place."
By six-thirty, Steve was back at SHIELD sitting across from Nick Fury in his office. The sun had set and the lights of Manhattan were beginning to shine brightly. Steve hoped maybe he could twist Brooklyn's arm into walking around the city with him after their debriefing.
"How ya feeling, Cap?" Fury asked casually as he leaned into his office chair, "Do you think your time at the Retreat helped?"
"Tremendously, Sir." Steve answered honestly as he sat straight in his chair. "I feel much better than I did before. Physically and mentally."
"Good to hear." Fury said as he scanned the paper file sitting in front of him. Eventually, he looked up at Steve, "Agent Hayes is waiting outside. She'll join us in a moment, but I wanted to get your honest opinion of her work before you see her again."
"She was wonderful. Very helpful, very patient, which I am incredibly thankful for." Steve gushed, twiddling his thumbs anxiously, "I know she wasn't your first choice, but I feel like we work very well together. I enjoy spending time with her."
"She has spirit, that's for sure. I was only Deputy Director when she joined SHIELD, I think about ten years ago now. Agent Hayes does wonderful undercover and stealth work. We've missed having her the past several weeks, but I'm glad she helped you. She's been wanting to branch out, take on more responsibility. I'm glad to hear she exceeded your expectations."
Steve took in the information Fury gave him, feeling his chest clench hearing they'd missed having Brooklyn in the field. It was sounding more and more like they wouldn't be keeping her with Steve because she was too important to waste as a handler. "Sir, I can't praise her enough. I can only imagine how good she is at her job based on how she handled having me, of all people, as her first asset." Steve smirked and Fury chuckled at his joke.
"Well, I know you were a bit challenging for her. She was sending me updates throughout your time there." Fury admitted, his expression dropping a little before adding, "She was assigned to you as a handler on a trial basis. Although you seem to be fond of her, we do have some concerns."
"You and Broo- Agent Hayes?" Steve corrected, knowing the color had drained from his face as Fury pressed a button on his phone and asked to have Brooklyn sent in.
Steve turned around to see Brooklyn walking towards them in her uniform. Her stance was rigid, and her expression blank, a stark contrast to the gentle demeanor she'd showed him at the Retreat. It was as if that Brooklyn had been wiped away and they were starting over.
"Captain Rogers," she sighed as she took a seat beside him, keeping her chin high but folding her hands together as he stared at her nervously. He could see a bead of sweat forming on her temple, and Steve had to physically restrain himself from wiping it away, grabbing her hands, and asking what was wrong.
Brooklyn looked to Director Fury and the man sighed, "I've gone over all of Agent Hayes's reports. You've shown great improvement during your time with her, especially in the beginning, however, your reluctance to leave causes some red flags for various reasons."
Steve lowered his head and narrowed his gaze at Fury, but he stayed calm and collected, "Okay?"
"I can go over the reports with you, if you'd like, but the short version is we don't think you're ready to become and agent of SHIELD." Fury told him without so much as blinking.
Steve felt like he'd been socked in the gut, but he wasn't sure which part was the worst blow. "We?" He asked as he turned to Brooklyn, but she kept her head raised and her eyes facing away from Steve, unable to meet his gaze or show any remorse for her evaluation. Steve looked back to Fury, feeling his resolve unravel, "Why?"
"Based in Agent Hayes's findings, you are physically fit and mentally capable of being a great asset to SHIELD, but you aren't focused enough to be relied upon. Your reliance on Agent Hayes is alarming on its own, but your desperation to stay in solitude for as long as possible shows you aren't in a good enough headspace to be placed into training."
Steve could tell that Nick Fury was sad to come to this conclusion, and Steve was bitter that after everything they'd done together, Brooklyn didn't think he'd be a good agent. It was the first he'd heard of it.
Director Fury looked to Brooklyn, then back to Steve, "It is Agent Hayes's recommendation that you be relieved of service for the time being. She thinks some time as a civilian will do you some good, and, as much as I hate to agree, I do too."
"So that's it? It's over?" Steve snapped and he saw Brooklyn wince out of the corner of his eye.
"Not necessarily," Fury started and Steve noticed how Brooklyn's lips twisted unhappily. "If you are still interested in working for us, I'm forming a response team. I'm sure Agent Hayes briefed you on it. I think you'd be a great addition. The team will need a leader like you, and it would allow you the freedom to work through whatever you need to. We'll be in touch should the occasion arise, if you are in."
Steve considered this for a moment. Brooklyn had said she didn't think he was fit to be an agent of SHIELD. She didn't think he'd make a good asset for her to handle. Brooklyn had trained him and prepped him for a job she never intended to offer him.
That said, Nick Fury thought he would be a great asset to the Avengers Initiative, a job for Steve that wouldn't involve any contact with one Brooklyn Hayes, who clearly wanted nothing to do with him.
"I'm in. If you need me, you know where to find me." Steve said darkly as he pushed his chair back and stood, nodding to Director Fury and glaring at Brooklyn. She had her gaze down at her lap, and Steve was glad she couldn't look him in the eye. If looks could kill, he'd murder Agent Hayes for leading him to believe he had a place in her world.
Steve turned on his heel and strode out of Fury's office, leaving behind his only friend who had betrayed him. As he entered the hallway, he slammed Fury's door closed and bashed his fist against the buttons, calling the elevator back to him. He considered taking the stairs. He considered jumping out the window, because that would be less of a shock to his system than what just happened.
He wasn't prepared to hear Brooklyn's strangled voice calling after him as the elevator opened, "Steve!"
"No."
"Talk to me, let me explain!" Brooklyn cried out as he entered the elevator and tried to close the doors, but she shoved herself into it with him before the doors could slide closed. He hit the button for the ground floor and groaned, leaning his head back to look at the ceiling and avoid the woman until he heard the alarm go off, telling him she'd hit the emergency stop.
Steve glared down at Brooklyn, clenching his fist threateningly, but knowing he could never strike her. He was more angry at himself for being played like a fool, "I don't want to do this."
"See. This is why I told Fury you weren't ready. You shut down whenever things don't go your way." Brooklyn snarled and Steve took a step towards her, causing her to back up in fear. He softened a little when he realized she was truly scared of him, but his rage continued to build as she looked up at him with sad puppy eyes. Steve rolled his eyes and gestured for her to continue as he leaned against the side of the elevator. Brooklyn sucked in her breath and started again, "You are a soldier, not a spy. You're good and you're honest, and as much progress as you've made, you aren't ready to join SHIELD, Steve. I'm trying to protect you. You need more time. You didn't even want to leave the Retreat, which is a prison for enhanced individuals, you were happy to set up permanent residence there."
"It wasn't a prison."
"It was to keep you locked up until I had a chance to gauge your mental state. I had chloroform in my suitcase in case I had to knock you out." Brooklyn answered cautiously, "Obviously, that wasn't necessary. I would have signed you off as good to go after the first week, but you didn't want to leave."
"It was relaxing." Steve argued, crossing his arms, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"That's not something you just drop on someone. It wasn't part of my job."
"Was that all I was? A job?" Steve pressed, feeling his whole body shake with anger. "I thought we were friends."
"We are friends. It wasn't a lie. I just had more to do than you realized." Brooklyn tilted her head to sneak into Steve's line of vision, "I care about you. That was real. I just don't think this is a good fit for you. You don't show the personality traits suited for a SHIELD agent. I don't regret what I told Fury. I'm doing this to protect you."
Steve leaned past Brooklyn and hit the emergency button to start the elevator again, "Well. I'm glad you don't regret your decision."
Brooklyn stared up at Steve, but he kept his gaze straight at the doors, waiting for them to open. "So, are we good?"
"Yeah." Steve said dully, "Why wouldn't we be?"
When the doors slid open, Steve pushed past Brooklyn, using what little decency he had to not shove her into the wall as he stormed away. At least he wouldn't have to deal with the lying tramp again.
Author's Notes:
zikashigaku- Welcome over to Nodus Tollens! So great to see you're enjoying this story! I love that you enjoy this Steve- He's a very different version of Steve from my other series. Timing really is everything. We find this Steve THE MOMENT he wakes up, and ride along with him as he learns to deal with everything. And Brooklyn is a really fun character for me to write, because she is an agent first and foremost, and she isn't head over heels in love with Steve Rogers (she's insane. I don't understand, but, that's how I wrote her I guess)
Thank you to everybody who has followed, favorited, and reviewed this story! I hope you continue to enjoy and let me know what you think!