Author's Note: Happy New Years Eve! Let's finish out this terrible year on a high note with not one, not two, but THREE new chapters! Thank you all for your reviews, I've loved reading them! The general consensus is that ya'll didn't see the twist coming, and I'm thankful because I knew it wouldn't land if you (the readers) didn't believe her intentions were true. The real question is, were they?
After six weeks at the Retreat, Brooklyn was ready to go home. Not because she was tired of being at the Retreat with Steve, but because she was starting to feel more than friendship for the soldier.
The worst part was that he had feelings for her, too. His emotions were clear on his face when they were together. The way he smiled at her, teased her, touched her.
He'd started stalling. Purposely failing at their training exercises and pretending not to understand the most basic devices Brooklyn tried to teach him. He didn't want to leave, and that was the weakness Brooklyn decided to latch onto and warn Fury about.
At some point over the past six weeks, Brooklyn pushed aside any ideas of converting Steve to Hydra. He was too good. He was too pure and honorable. Brooklyn believed in Hydra, because SHIELD wasn't good enough, but Steve wouldn't see it that way. Steve wouldn't agree with Hydra's ideals, even if Brooklyn supported their results.
If she couldn't convert Steve, she had to protect him. She couldn't let him become an issue. If Brooklyn allowed Steve to become a SHIELD agent, he would inevitably die at the hands of her superiors on the other side. She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let anybody hurt Steve because he was her best friend.
About two weeks ago, Brooklyn had started sending Director Fury updates that Steve wasn't progressing properly. He was hesitant to leave the Retreat. At first, Fury wasn't alarmed by this, because of everything Steve had experienced. He reminded Brooklyn to be patient. After another week of similar reports, Fury sent his right-hand man with a man crush on Captain America to come check up on them in person.
Steve was in the shower after a long training session when the knock on the door came, and Brooklyn immediately leapt to her feet to grab her weapon from the bookshelf. She looked over her shoulder to make sure Steve was still in the bathroom. Brooklyn had to keep her asset safe at all costs, and she wasn't expecting company.
She raised her gun and slowly moved to the front door, keeping it ready as she reached for the knob when the knocking continued. After a deep breath, Brooklyn swung open the door and aimed the gun at the visitor.
"Stand down, Agent Hayes, it's just me."
"Coulson." Brooklyn sighed as she lowered her gun, "You could have called."
"You wouldn't have answered." He retorted with a knowing grin, "I've worked with you long enough to know that you won't answer when you're undercover."
"I'm not undercover. I'm the handler."
"I know, but you still won't answer." Coulson shrugged and peeked around the doorframe, "Speaking of which, where's the Captain?"
Brooklyn wedged her gun into her belt holding up her jeans, crossing her arms over her red blouse, "He's in the shower. Can I take a message?"
"Fury wants to know what the holdup is."
"He isn't ready to go back to the real world. I've been trying…" Brooklyn looked back at the door, hearing the shower turn off. She lowered her voice and took a few steps further into the cabin, "I've been trying to push him in the right direction, but he's happy here."
Brooklyn and Coulson heard the shower curtain being pulled to the side, followed by Steve's voice calling, "Brooklyn? Is someone there?"
Brooklyn rolled her eyes at the way Coulson perked up at the sound of Captain America's voice, but Brooklyn didn't think he'd enjoy Steve's greeting if he were surprised, "Yeah, everything's fine! It's just an agent I know."
Steve didn't answer, and Brooklyn turned back to Coulson, "Don't make it weird, Coulson. He'll be back in New York before you know it, and you can fawn over him all you want. He won't appreciate you harassing him straight out of the shower."
"What's he like?" Coulson asked and Brooklyn chuckled, placing her hands on her hips as she gazed at the bathroom door with a small grin.
"He's a person." She murmured without looking back at Coulson, "He's so much more than the shield, and I think that's why he doesn't want to leave." She finally turned and nodded towards the door, "I'm doing my best. We'll be back when he's ready. See you soon, Agent Coulson."
Coulson nodded, despite how clearly unhappy he was with the events. "Alright. Keep in touch."
Brooklyn closed the door behind him, and the clicking of the lock lured Steve from his hiding spot in just his jeans, "Are you okay?"
"Of course, I'm okay. It's one of my coworkers." Brooklyn teased as she looked Steve up and down. "You gonna wear a shirt there, buddy?"
Steve's jaw stiffened and he crossed his arms over his chest, and Brooklyn averted her eyes to look up at the ceiling as he huffed, "I'll be right back."
Brooklyn looked at Steve's sculpted back, wishing she hadn't squandered away her chance to gaze at him shirtless, "Steve?" He turned at her voice and she sucked in a quick breath, "What would you have done? If it wasn't another agent?"
"I'd have killed him." He said without hesitation, smiling weakly at Brooklyn, "As soon as I realized someone was here, I started getting dressed and waited by the door. The only reason I waited until he left was because you had it under control."
"I can take care of myself; you know." Brooklyn scoffed as she plopped back down on the couch and picked up her newest book. Her gaze was locked on Steve, though.
He nodded, "I know you can. Doesn't mean I won't protect you though." Steve didn't bother to close the door as he looked around for a shirt, and Brooklyn followed him with her hungry eyes, wishing he'd beckon her to join him.
But he never did.
Now Director Fury had Steve on the phone, surely asking why he wasn't ready to go back to civilization yet. She'd lost her bet with Steve. They'd stay another week if Steve could convince Fury not to send her back without him.
She wrapped her long, mahogany hair into a towel, then reached for the long flowery dress she'd placed in the bathroom to wear after training. She looked in the mirror, wondering if Steve would find her pretty. Brooklyn heard Steve's heavy footsteps against the wood, signaling that he was approaching.
Brooklyn quickly popped out of the door and leaned against it, "Hey. What did he say?"
"He said you're mine for a few more days. He's sending the jet on Sunday, so, I guess I won." Steve said smugly, and Brooklyn sighed in response.
"I'm surprised you want to stay so badly." She said softly as Steve leaned against the door, trying to look nonchalant. "It's supposed to snow on Friday."
"I'll be okay."
"You say that now, but we'll see how you feel when you have to shovel us out of here." Brooklyn teased, knowing he would hate the cold. She bumped her hip against him and pulled the towel off her head so her hair would cascade over her shoulders in natural waves. She noticed the way Steve's eyes softened at the sight, and how adoring his expression was. It melted her like a puddle, "It's okay to be scared you know."
Steve dropped his gaze a little, "I know. I'm not scared, I'm just dreading it."
Brooklyn knew he wasn't just talking about the snow. He was talking about returning to the real world and going back into the fight. "You don't even have to work for SHIELD." Brooklyn told him gently, reaching out and grabbing his arm, "You could do anything you wanted, anything that makes you happy."
Steve threw his arm around Brooklyn's shoulder and pulled her tight against his side, not seeming to realize the way his presence took her breath away. "I told Fury I would do whatever he asked of me if he let you stay another week."
Brooklyn's heart sank at his words, realizing that her plan had worked well, he was willing to do anything for her. "Steve, you didn't need to do that. If Fury wants me back, I have to go back."
"A deal is a deal. You stay with me until Sunday, then we'll fly back to New York and go from there." Steve told Brooklyn, running his fingers along her arm. She couldn't even focus on the repercussions of Steve's decision, because her mind was zeroed in on his touch. She leaned into him instinctively and a hum rumbled in her throat, causing Steve to squeeze her even tighter. "Admit it. You're happy to have a few more days here with me. Babysitting me is way more fun than traveling the world undercover."
Brooklyn wouldn't admit he was right. She could be anywhere in the world, but nowhere would make her feel as safe and happy as Steve's arms. A little part of Brooklyn wished she could date Steve, and give him an honest chance, but the little voice in her head kept reminding her that someday Hydra would kill Steve. Her job was just to prolong that death a little longer and keep Steve out of trouble.
The stress of leaving the Retreat took a toll on Brooklyn, but she worked hard to keep it hidden from Steve. He seemed pretty aloof when it came to her feelings, which she appreciated, because she was definitely off her game as far as pretending to be uninterested. Her specialty was pretending to be interested, but she wasn't as good at the opposite.
By the time Friday came, and the snow started, Brooklyn was practically in tears at the idea of taking Steve back to New York. She'd sent Nick Fury another report, detailing how desperate he was to stay, and how unwilling he was to go anywhere without her. Although Steve had promised Fury he'd do whatever was asked of him, Brooklyn was very open about her uneasiness of Steve joining SHIELD. Despite her best efforts, Brooklyn recommended Steve be released from active duty, at least for the time being.
She knew he'd be devastated and feel so betrayed by her verdict after everything they'd gone through, and he'd never know that she did it to save his life. Brooklyn would have loved to work with Steve for SHIELD, but if forcing him into civilian life bought her time to find a way to save him from Project Insight, Brooklyn would endure the hatred she knew she'd receive for her actions.
Knowing all of this, Brooklyn Hayes made a brash decision to do something reckless. When the snow was just starting to fall, she went into the woods behind the cabin and gathered logs from the pile of firewood Steve had created over the past several weeks. As she was passing, she tossed a small, untraceable device onto the power box outside the cabin.
"I grabbed more firewood, so we'll be ready if this gets worse. I called Fury and asked if they could get us tomorrow instead of Sunday, is that okay?" Brooklyn called as she dropped the firewood in front of the couch and wiggled out of her coat, "Steve? Where are you?"
She paused and finally heard the water running, telling her Steve was taking another scalding shower to keep warm. Brooklyn unzipped her packed suitcase and pulled out a knit sweater to wear over her shirt, pulling it close to herself before rolling her suitcase into the bedroom. She didn't expect anyone to be using the bed tonight.
Steve emerged after a while and looked out the window with a sort of terror Brooklyn wasn't expecting. He took a seat on the couch and pulled out his phone, tapping away on it slowly as Brooklyn watched, "You okay?"
"You were right. We should have gone before the weather got bad."
"We'll be okay. I'll turn up the heat." Brooklyn told him as she walked over to the touch screen thermostat, hearing the wind pick up outside. "At least we had the foresight to get some more firewood." She called, looking over her shoulder to see Steve's shoulders stiff. He didn't answer her, and she began to worry, "I'll make it all toasty in here, and you can snuggle up in all the blankets one last time." Still no answer. Brooklyn grabbed one of the blankets she'd set out on a chair and draped it over Steve's shoulders, smoothing it down.
At her touch, he looked up at her, and she could see his eyes were wide and scared, "Go get your leather jacket! That's cozy. The heat will kick on soon, and you'll be sweating." Brooklyn pulled her own sweater around herself, seeing Steve staring into the fireplace in a bit of a daze. She knew it wasn't about to get warmer, it was about to get colder, "Go! Stop being a frozen little baby."
Steve finally listened to her and went to the bedroom to grab his jacket. The weather was getting worse, and it was almost time to begin her plan.
"You sure this thing won't blow away?" Steve called from the bedroom, and Brooklyn smirked, knowing the building would stand, but the power wouldn't.
"Yeah. This thing was built to withstand the Hulk." Brooklyn called as she fiddled with her phone, setting up the device to blow the power before sliding her phone into her pocket, "It can handle a little snow." She looked up when Steve came into the room, tapping her side and setting off the explosive outside that knocked out the power to the cabin. The heat, the electricity, and the video feed. For once, Steve and Brooklyn were truly alone.
As the lights flickered and went out, Brooklyn scrambled to her feet, "Shit."
Steve pulled out his own phone and shone the light on Brooklyn, showing her the way to the control panel that she knew full well wouldn't work. Her phone began ringing and she answered it, knowing it would be Fury realizing the video feed was out. "Hello?"
"We've lost visual. Are you guys okay?"
Brooklyn bumped into the table, grabbing onto the wall and grumbling until she felt Steve's hands on her waist. "Here, you talk to him. I'm going to see if I can find the circuit breaker."
She handed Steve her phone and took his instead, shining the light as she walked towards the laundry room and back door. She stood in the room, listening to Steve and Fury's conversation for a few moments, not even bothering to try the circuit breaker. Steve wouldn't try once she told him it wasn't working.
After enough time, when the conversation with the director was winding down, Brooklyn reappeared into the living room and switched phones with Steve, "Any luck?"
"What do you think? We're still in the dark." Brooklyn grumbled, trying hard to keep her smile hidden as she turned her phone on airplane mode and power saver, making sure nobody could contact them or spy on them. "Gimme yours. We can't risk running out of battery in case we need to call for help. The fence is most likely down, too, which means we're sitting ducks."
"Nobody is coming for us." Steve told Brooklyn, and her back stiffened at his words, hoping he was right. She hadn't considered that somebody could breach the perimeter, but she knew she was safe. Steve was determined to make sure she knew it. "Hey, look at me." Brooklyn did as she was told, looking up at Steve as he shined his flashlight on her, "Do you really think I'd let anything happen to you?"
Brooklyn shook her head as he turned off the light, finally able to smile, "No."
"Then stop worrying. The worst part of tonight is how cold it is." Steve told her as he looked over his shoulder. Brooklyn felt bad for causing Steve to freeze, but she had every intention of keeping him warm, one way or another.
She watched Steve light the fire as she approached, losing her balance, and falling against his shoulders. He dropped the matches into the fireplace, and she felt her stomach flip nervously, "Shit, was that our last match?"
"No. Even if it was, I can start a fire without them. Stop worrying. I've got this." Steve promised, and Brooklyn smirked at the idea of Steve being able to survive out in the wilderness with nothing but his brains and his wit. She was so lost in her daydream of laying under the stars by an open fire that she wasn't prepared for Steve to mutter, "You're worse in the cold than me."
Brooklyn froze, not wanting to talk about it, "It's a long story."
"It's going to be a long night, I have time. This is the first time nobody can see us." Steve added, and Brooklyn looked to him, seeing how handsome he looked in the firelight.
"Yeah?"
"I'm just saying, we're actually alone for once."
Brooklyn's core burned as she swallowed, scooting a little closer to Steve, "And what do you want to do about it?"
"Talk about all the things you don't want to talk about." Brooklyn rolled her eyes, her whole demeanor falling as her hopes were dashed, "What?" Steve asked, his own hopeful expression fading.
"We could have done that at any time, I just don't want to." Brooklyn argued, but as the wind picked up, she took the opportunity to snuggle up closer to Steve, and he draped his arm around her shoulders to pull her tight. She glared at him playfully, "Don't think this will make me talk. I'm just cold."
Steve didn't respond at first. Instead, he grabbed a blanket from the couch and draped it over Brooklyn's shoulders before tapping the small of her back to nudge her forward. "Sit in front of me. I'll keep you warm."
Brooklyn wanted him to hold her more than anything, and despite orchestrating this disaster just to get close to Steve, her instincts overtook her and she blurted, "No."
"Don't be stubborn." Steve chastised as he spread his legs, allowing Brooklyn a place to sit in front of him. Her eyes were saucers, and she prayed he wouldn't notice how tense her body was at the thought of getting between his legs. She was wound up like a spring, and nothing he said helped her, "My blood runs hot. Between the fire and me, you'll be warm."
She narrowed her eyes at him, then gave in to his offer and her own desire to get close to him. He was right, his blood ran hot, and as cold as he felt, he radiated heat. As she settled between his thighs, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to hold her against his strong chest. He leaned his chin over her shoulder, and a deep moan escaped her throat as she squirmed in his grip, needing relief from the tension building in her stomach at being so close to Steve.
"This isn't so terrible, is it?"
Brooklyn needed to get back in control. Steve had her eating out of the palm of his hand, and she needed to remind him who was in charge. She leaned her cheek against Steve's, knowing he would react by blushing at the contact. He occasionally had bursts of bravery when it came to touching his handler, but Brooklyn knew if she took the reins, he'd panic.
"I know you so well."
"What?" Steve asked as he turned his face a little, bumping his nose against her cheek.
Brooklyn considered turning and planting a kiss on Steve's lips, knowing that would set him on fire, but she couldn't. She shouldn't. If he initiated it, she'd follow his lead, but it had to be him. "I knew if I leaned my face against yours, your cheeks would heat up because you're embarrassed."
"I'm not embarrassed." Steve argued, and Brooklyn smiled at his determination, "I was caught off guard."
"I'm between your legs, Steve. Me pressing my face to yours is what catches you off guard?" Brooklyn asked, but he responded by pressing his chin harder against her collarbone. Her back stiffened, and he must have felt it because he asked, "Are you uncomfortable?"
No, I'm home.
Brooklyn couldn't tell him that. She had to remind him that they weren't anything. This was just a one-time thing, and when morning came, they'd go on with their lives. Tomorrow at this time, Steve would most likely despise her.
"The cameras are out. Whatever happens tonight, nobody has to know. You can let me get close and then pretend it never happened. Whatever happens tonight, we won't bring it up again. Deal?" Steve asked, and Brooklyn considered this for a moment before answering.
"Deal."
"Now tell me why you hate the cold."
Brooklyn froze, replaying the memory like a movie in her mind. She wasn't proud of her actions, but in the end, she accidentally did what was right. "There was a mission. I was fresh out of training, just eighteen years old. My team and I were dropped off in the middle of nowhere somewhere in Northern Europe. We were supposed to rendezvous with the local authorities." She paused, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes, "SHIELD got an anonymous tip that they had information about the Ten Rings. Should have been easy, but it was an ambush."
It was a trap to flush out the rats.
"I was young and scared and I hid while the rest of the agents I was sent with fought and died. There was a man with a tattoo on his wrist of the Ten Rings symbol, and he captured my team leader. Cut the tracker right out of his neck while he bled out from his left shoulder."
A way for Hydra to extract one of their undercover operatives from SHIELD and leave no trace. Fury should have realized something was wrong when the Ten Rings knew about their trackers…
Brooklyn grabbed her shoulder, knowing this was the reason her tracker was implanted in her neck. Not just because it hid the scar well, but because nobody could cut it out without killing her. She'd inadvertently sealed her own fate.
"They took him, knowing they could torture him forever and nobody would find him."
They took him to lead Hydra from the outside.
"What they didn't realize was I was alive. I followed them, then ditched my uniform in the nearest town for clothes from a homeless woman. I found their hideout and I saw them trying to extract their information for Project Pegasus."
They found me outside and realized SHIELD would track my phone to its last known location. They told me they'd kill me if I didn't cover for them.
"I waited outside in the snow with nothing but a thin jacket for six hours until SHIELD tracked my location and got my team leader back."
He blackmailed me into joining him and Hydra.
"I was rewarded with a promotion and thrust into more dangerous undercover work."
I was told my sister was as good as dead if I didn't do what they said.
"Fury was Deputy Director at the time, and he said that the smartest thing I could do was to stay alive."
I should have run away when I had the chance.
"He commended me for being selfish enough to save the mission, and that Rumlow wouldn't have survived if I hadn't called for backup. Still not proud of it though."
Because I joined a Nazi organization to save my sister and ended up loving every second of it.
Steve leaned forward, pressing his cheek to hers and causing her eyes to widen in panic as he muttered, "I'm thankful you ran and hid."
"You wouldn't have." She answered, closing her eyes, and remembering Rumlow's knife to her throat as he told her she should have stayed dead. After a moment, she turned herself around to look Steve in the eye. "You wouldn't have just sat by and let your team die to save your own skin."
Brooklyn didn't believe that's what she did. She'd had good intentions. To survive. To stop the Ten Rings. To do what was right. Then Rumlow threatened her sister. Then he told her who was responsible for the car wreck that killed her parents.
After that, Brooklyn had no choice. It was Hydra, or death, but Hydra could give her everything she wanted. They could ensure that Dallas was safe, by any means necessary. They could give Brooklyn the life she wanted, any life she wanted, by propelling her to a place of power within SHIELD. And above all, she'd make sure the world came to a place of order, and that nobody would suffer the way she and Dallas did ever again.
"Just because I wouldn't have done it doesn't mean you shouldn't have. I'm thankful you stayed out of the fight." Steve murmured, as his eyes dropped to her lips for a moment. She felt nauseous. If only he knew what she was, and what she stood for. Steve had so much influence over Brooklyn that she began to question whether or not she was on the right side. If she kissed him, would his goodness overtake the darkness that had grown in the wake of Brooklyn's bitterness, fear, and devastation?
Brooklyn gazed at his mouth for a moment, wondering what Captain America tasted like. She wondered if his lips were as soft as they looked, and if he was gentle or rough, and she quickly shook her head to chase away those thoughts, "So, yeah, that's why I hate the cold. Because I remember getting picked up in the jet and not being able to feel any part of my body. I had hypothermia and they were worried I might not make the trip home."
She turned back around and snuggled up against his chest, taking in the smell of his shower gel and the heat that radiated through his shirt. She tentatively ran her fingers up and down his torso, and he responded by running his calloused hand over her soft hair.
That was how Brooklyn wound up curled next to Steve Rogers on the floor by the fireplace with her head tucked under his chin and his arm holding her flush against him. She'd teased him about waking up hard, but she was the one so hot and bothered she thought she could orgasm just from him shifting his hips against her.
"If the fire goes out or you get cold, wake me up, okay?" Steve yawned as he held her close to him, as if she were the most precious thing he had in life.
"Okay." She answered, feeling her eyelids begin to droop, but he moved his hand to her face and shushed her, telling her to be quiet.
"I hate you." She mumbled as she grabbed his hand and sighed, letting herself begin to drift off to sleep.
Just before she fell away, Brooklyn heard Steve whisper against her hair the last words she expected: "I love you, too."
Her eyes burst open, but she stayed still, pretending to be asleep. As much as she wanted to confront Steve about his words, she didn't know what she'd say. He had told her he loved her. Not that he found her attractive or that he would like to date her, but that he loved her. Steve- Captain America Steve- loved Brooklyn.
The soft sound of snoring told her he'd fallen asleep, but Brooklyn couldn't rest now. Tears streamed from her eyes as she stared at the fire, breathing heavily beneath the weight of Steve's iron grip around her. She wanted to get close to Steve. She wanted to hold him and kiss him and make love to him, but Brooklyn never expected him to admit that. If Fury found out… if Pierce found out… Suddenly, everything was very complicated.
But Brooklyn was thankful she had this one night in Steve's arms. When the morning came, they'd never speak of it again, and Brooklyn decided to enjoy what little time she had with the man who loved her. She knew it wouldn't last.
Turning over, she tucked her head under his chin and rested her lips against his collarbone, nuzzling his thin shirt with her nose before shifting to use his arm as a pillow. After some wiggling, Brooklyn found comfort in Steve's embrace and felt the beating of his heart beneath her palms until it lulled her to sleep.