ACxOCU Ch 22. Unaverage Return to Da Boom!
(In a flash of light they appear in a desolate wasteland of what looks to be the remains of Quahog.)
"Where the fuck are we?" Asks Menthis looking around.
"Quahog stupid." Replies Junior slapping him in the back of the head.
"It's no Quahog I remember." Replies Menthis.
"You're so stupid I cannot comprehend it." Replies Junior, rubbing his face.
"Lay off him man." Says Chris looking at them.
"He's so dumb and we have the same question every universe." Remarks Junior in annoyance.
"Uh guys I hear people coming." Says Eddie.
"Yeah we should probably hide." Replies Junior as they all duck behind some rubble.
"Aaahhhh!" Screams a group of people running from a group of creatures with Stewie's head and tentacles beneath among them are humans with purple blotches and tentacles grabbing the humans that the Stewie creatures jump on and dragging them away.
"Jesus Christ." Remarks Eddie in terror.
"I believe these creatures are proof God is dead or gone." Menthis says also shaken up by what's going on.
"I think it's clear." Says Junior.
"Why do you think Stewie is so monstrous?" Asks Menthis.
"Do you want me to hit you again?!" Asks Junior raising his hand towards him.
"No…" Replies Menthis raising his hands to protect his face.
"I think it's a legitimate question you ass." Says Chris to Junior.
"If you look around you can see we're in a damn apocalypse and your brother is mutated and those creatures are infected humans, part of some sort of weird hive mind taking survivors to God knows where." Replies Junior in a huff.
"How do you get all of that from just looking at them?" Asks Chris.
"When you're an ex CIA agent you learn a few things." Replies Junior with a shrug.
"Like how to be a dick." Says Menthis with a smug smile.
"Yeah, day one asshole why don't I give you a quick briefing."Replies Junior raising his fist at him.
"Why don't we look around town to see what's up." Says Menthis.
"Yeah, like that won't end in complete disaster." Replies Junior rolling his eyes.
"Says you I agree with Menthis for all we know those creatures could come back." Says Chris.
"Fine…. whatever." Remarks Junior with a sigh.
"You okay Eddie you've been awfully quiet for a while now?" Says Chris looking at Eddie.
"Oh it's nothing, just this seems a lot like last time." Says Eddie not looking at him.
"Last time?" Asks Junior curiously but Eddie doesn't respond.
(They start walking down the street when they hear a voice.)
"Stop and turn around slowly." Says a voice.
"Dad?" Says Chris in shock when they turn around and see a grizzled looking Peter holding a flamethrower.
"Chris?" Says a stunned Peter running up to him then hugs him.
"Wha-what happened?" Asks Chris, shocked by the sudden embrace.
"It's been so long I thought I'd never see you again not since they got you and your mother." Replies Peter wiping tears from his eyes, "I can't believe you escaped, guy's it's just Chris and some friends you can come out of hiding."
"About that." Chris says scratching the back of his head seeing Meg, Brian and a fused Cleveland and Quagmire with Joe who now has robotic legs.
"Meg!" Shouts Eddie rushing up to her but she jumps away putting a little distance between them then kicks him in the chest sending him to the ground.
"Woah buddy I don't know who you are but I'm not one of those wasteland girls you can just get with." Replies Meg looking at him, arms crossed.
"Fucking multiverse." Cries Eddie to himself.
"Hi daddy." Says Junior waving at Cleveland.
"What the hell are you talking about? My son has ADHD and is currently crazy and not fat as hell." Replies Cleveland.
"Even knowing that wouldn't work, it still hurts more than it should." Says Junior to himself.
"I don't think they are the Chris we know." Remarks Meg, "Mr can't take a kick like a man over there mumbled something about the multiverse.
"Well we've definitely seen weirder here but at this point I'll take any Chris I can get." Replies Peter.
"We better get back to base before the sun sets." Says Brian looking at the setting sun.
"Come on chump if you want me then you got to work for it." Meg says, grabbing Eddie and pulling him to his feet.
"Fuck me." Eddie says to himself rubbing his chest where she kicked him.
"Aren't you an eager beaver? I hope you don't mind a fine brush on my dam." Responds Meg.
"That's so gross." Says Chris.
"Yeah I think Meg went semi feral some time after the apocalypse." Replies Peter walking ahead.
(Later in the makeshift base in town hall.)
"It's going to be another long night but I think the surveillance equipment and doors should hold again tonight." Says Meg in front of the security equipment.
"Man Meg is so abrasive here it's kinda hot." Says Menthis to Eddie.
"You don't know how scared of her I am right now. She said tonight we're meeting the New York Knicks." Says Eddie with a shiver.
"Well my only advice is to remember to relax breathe through your nose and also relax your throat." Replies Menthis.
"Yeah thanks I'll try to remember that….hey wait a minute." Says Eddie.
(Suddenly there's a crash and the whole building shakes.)
"What the hell was that?" Asks Peter running into the monitor room.
Suddenly Robot Brian appears on the surveillance monitor, "Hello again did you miss me?" He says with a condescending laugh.
"Brian?" Says Peter and Meg in confusion.
"That bastard isn't him." Says Chris.
"Aww didn't you miss me I sure did you and look I made some friends too." Says Robot Brian with a smile.
(A gigantic version of the Stewie creature appears with him along with a zombified version of Lois.)
"Mommy's missed you all so much." She says looking into the camera her eyes now a milky white with purple blotches and tentacles all over her body.
(Suddenly the door crashes open with a bunch of Stewie creatures pouring in.)
(The real Brian meets them in a wheelchair at the front hall; he takes out a vial from his bag and drinks it, transforming into a gigantic muscled out creature and begins fighting them off.)
(The gigantic Stewie Creature knocks Brian out of the way with his tentacle then heads up stairs.)
(The door breaks at the top of the stairs and the gigantic Stewie Creature and Robot Brian go towards Chris, Eddie, Junior and Menthis.)
"Deliciously hopeless right?" He asks as around them everyone seems to be overwhelmed.
(Suddenly Robot Brian raises his hand up and his finger opens up and starts spraying fire on the gigantic Stewie Creature.)
"This win I'll give you. That thing was disgusting to me but it won't be so easy next time." He says after the fire kills the creature and disappears in a flash of light.
"What the fuck is going on?" Asks Peter clearly shaken by what happened.
(Later as they're about to leave.)
"You sure you don't want to stay?" Peter asks Chris.
"As much as I wish I could, I'm afraid I can't." Responds Chris hugging him.
"Hey." Meg says to Eddie.
"Yeah?" Eddie says, turning to her.
"The version of me that is with you is a lucky woman. Remember that…I hope I find mine someday too, especially one who's willing to love any version of me." She says coming up and giving him a kiss on the cheek just before they disappear in a flash of light.