"I'm so excited to see my parents!" Anastasia beams from the passenger side of Christian's black Audi Q5. Tomorrow, she'll be having her surgery and, although it isn't under the best of circumstances, she can't help but be excited about seeing them. It's been months since she last saw them face-to-face. Too long.
Christian smiles from the driver's seat as he pulls up into one of the pick up parking spots at the airport. He was so relieved when he found out that both of her parents were able to come support her during the surgery. He knows that Anastasia thinks his presence will keep them calmer while she's in the OR, but he honestly thinks that they might create enough of a distraction to keep him from pulling his own hair out. He'd never tell her that, though. He does his best at trying to keep cool, calm, and collected, hiding his anxiety about stressful situations.
He has always had an issue with anxiety and even finds himself needing to take medication on an as-needed basis, even though he tries not to. He knows that this surgery is pretty common and pretty easy, but it's his best friend. It's different. They've never operated on her before and he would be so devastated if anything would happen to her. He's aware that being this worried is illogical, but the thought of losing another loved one makes his hands shake, his palms sweat, and his stomach churn. His inner circle is small, but he loves each one of them fiercely.
"Christian? Are you alright?" Anastasia notices that he's been quiet since he picked her up, and she worries that his anxiety is getting the best of him. He's always tried to hide his anxiety from her, but she's known him for too long...plus, she found his Ativan in his medicine cabinet. He has always tried to play the strong, dominant businessman, but she knows deep down there's a nervous, little boy in there somewhere. Losing his birth mother like he did at his age was too scarring. He won't admit it, but she knows. She knows him better than he knows himself.
"Huh?" He blinks at her and then nods. "Oh, yea. I'm fine, Ana. Just been a long day." It isn't a lie. He shoved a whole days worth of work in six hours so that he could leave early to pick up her parents.
Anastasia frowns. "Maybe you should have stayed home. I could have picked them up myself."
He snorts. "And miss out on your mother's cooing?" Carla Steele thinks that Christian is the most darling boy she has ever met. Anastasia tries to remind her that he is now a man, but her mother always hushes her and waves her off. Christian quite enjoys being fussed over.
"Like you need an ego boost." Anastasia rolls her eyes.
"Always." He flips down the vanity mirror and checks his hair and straightens his tie.
"It isn't a date, Christian!" She snaps, making him laugh.
"Scared she'll leave Ray for me?" He gives Anastasia a wink.
She wrinkles her nose at the thought.
"I'll let you call me Daddy."
"Oh...my…god. This is so not happening." Anastasia covers her face with her hands and shakes her head. "You've scarred me for life."
Laughing, he reaches over and hooks an arm around her neck, pulling her closer to him. "I'm just kidding, love. Why would I settle for the older model when I could have the new one?"
Her hands drop from her face and she cocks an eyebrow at him. "Please don't say things like that in front of her. She's already pushing us together as it is. It'll just fuel her."
"So, I shouldn't offer to stay over tonight and share your bed?"
"No." Her tone is flat.
He chuckles and kisses the top of her head before releasing her from his grip. "I'll be on my best behavior. I promise."
She rolls her eyes and begins to make a smart ass comment, but sees her parents making their way out of the sliding doors.
"They're here!"
She climbs out of the car and hurries over to them, hugging her mother first. "Oh, I'm so happy both of you could come! I've missed you."
"Me, too, Ana. I'm glad we could be here. I've been worried sick about you."
Anastasia giggles at her mother's words and pulls back to look at her. "Well, you're here now and we can spend some time together. In twenty-four hours this part will over."
Raymond Steele greets Christian and shakes his hand. "Good to see you, Christian. I appreciate you flying us in."
Christian shakes his head. "It was nothing. Ana needs you."
"Who's that strapping young man?" Carla states, winking at Christian.
Christian beams while Ana hugs her father. "Hello, Carla. Glad you could make it." He pulls her into a hug and she knows to keep her arms around his waist, but that doesn't keep her from squeezing him with all her might.
"You always smell so delicious. Tell me, has my daughter put a ring on it, yet?" Carla asks, picking up his left hand to look. Seeing it bare, she sighs dramatically. "Such a shame. You would've thought I raised a smarter girl."
"Mom!" Anastasia overhears her mother's cheeky comment. "Just get in the SUV!"
Christian takes Carla's bag from her and Carla hooks her arm into her daughter's, walking to the car behind the men.
"So chivalrous, too. He's such a gentleman, Ana. He'd be such a great son-in-law…"
Anastasia rolls her eyes. "Mom. Don't start."
"Oh, fine. I'll just let you ruin your own life while I stand on the sidelines saying I told you so."
"Thank you." Anastasia smiles at her mother and opens the door for her while the men put the luggage in the back.
"You're infuriating." Her mother says matter-of-factly. She knows that Christian and Anastasia would be so good together. She doesn't understand why it's such a struggle between the two of them. It's obvious they're meant to be together.
"Well, I learned from the best." Anastasia shuts the door and climbs in the passenger's seat to wait for the men.
Once the men climb into the SUV and secure their seat belts, they head back to Anastasia's to unload their belongings before dinner.
"So, what will it be for your last supper?" Ray asks, teasing. Carla smacks her husband for his morbid sense of humor while Anastasia and Christian laugh.
XxXxXx
Once her parents are set up in the guest bedroom for the night, Anastasia climbs into her own to try to get some sleep. They've made it an early night, because she has to check-in to the hospital at 5:00 am.
Tomorrow is such a big day for her. Not only will be she be having surgery, but she'll also find out if it's even possible for her to carry her own children. It's been such an emotional rollercoaster for her. A part of her feels like it's selfish for wanting to carry her own children so badly. She should be relieved that she's okay and that she'll live a relatively healthy life after this, but she can't help it. She finds herself pouting, her heart aching, at the thought of not carrying a child. She knows that adoption is always an option...an option she's always considered, but she thought that she'd have at least one biological child. She's heard many women talk about how beautiful of an experience pregnancy is and she desires more than anything to carry her own. She knows that if she can't, then she'll adopt someday. She sees no point in paying someone else to carry her child when she could use the money to adopt a child who is motherless now.
She's found that blood has little to no worth in many relationships these days. Her father, Ray, isn't her biological father, but he's taken care of her like she was made from him, anyway. All the Grey children are adopted and Grace and Carrick have more love for those children than many biological parents have for their own. Adoption is definitely a possibility if she doesn't get the news she wants. She will love that child with everything she has. She knows this.
Why does carrying her own child have to be so important? Why can't she just let it go?
There's a knock on her door, pulling her out of her own pity party. Her mother sticks her head in and Anastasia gives her a small smile.
"I couldn't sleep." Carla admits, slipping into her room and closing the door behind her. "Your father is snoring, which just makes it all the more infuriating that I can't. I thought about poking him in the ribs to wake him up, but decided that keeping the peace is more important."
Anastasia giggles at her mom and slides over in bed. "Come lay with me. I'll try not to snore."
Carla climbs into bed with her daughter and gets comfortable beside her.
"How are you feeling about tomorrow, Ana?"
"Honestly? Nervous."
Carla sighs. "That's completely understandable, baby. You've got so much on your plate already. I worry about you."
"I know, Mom."
"You're a strong woman, I know, but I'm your mom. I can't help it."
Anastasia turns on her side toward her mother and takes her hand, squeezing it. "I know you do it out of love, Mom. It's alright."
"Have you thought about what you're going to do after this? Are you going to try?"
Anastasia chews her lip. She hasn't told either of her parents, yet. "Yes, I think so. There's a sperm bank in Seattle I thought I'd check out when I feel better. I mean, if I-"
"Don't talk that way. I'm sure you'll be fine. If they think it's a time issue, then I'll support you 100%. I'll be here whenever I can and you can call me whenever you have questions about pregnancy or babies. You'll be a great mom. You deserve this, Ana. You deserve a baby of your own."
Anastasia wipes a tear off her own cheek. "Thank you, Mom."
"Oh, Ana. Come here." Carla opens her arm and Anastasia cuddles closer, resting her head on the front of her mother's shoulder while Carla smooths her hair. "Tomorrow is going to be very scary, but just remember that your dad and I will be there to support you. Christian, too. You've got so many people who love you and support you. Everything will go great. You'll see."
XxXxXx
"Alright, Anastasia. We're going to take you back for surgery, now."
Carla leans down and kisses Anastasia's forehead. "Love you, Ana. I'll be right here when you wake up, okay? It'll be over before you know it."
Ray is next and he leans down to kiss her cheek. "I love you, babygirl." He clears his throat and Anastasia smiles.
"Everything will be okay, Dad. No reason to start the waterworks."
Her father gives her a playful scowl and steps back to wrap an arm around his wife.
It's Christian's turn and he doesn't risk it. He leans down and presses his lips to her own. He wants this last bit of connection before she gets taken away.
"Promise me that you'll be okay."
She smiles. "I promise, Christian. Just relax, okay. Do some work while I'm gone." She gives him a wink and he gives her a soft smile and ducks down again to kiss her once more.
"Can't break the promise now, Steele."
She shakes her head. "I won't."
The nurse gives her a surgery cap to put over her hair and then she's pushed out of her room and toward the OR doors. She knows she should be nervous, but the nurse has given her something to settle her nerves, so she's feeling pretty calm now.
The others, on the other hand, are a nervous wreck. Christian watches from the doorway as they push his best friend down the hall. He knows that the surgery will be laparoscopic, so she'll only have a few inch long scars on her abdomen, but it does little to calm his nerves.
"Christian, why don't you come sit with us." Carla calls from inside the room, making him realize he's still staring even though she's gone.
He leaves the doorway and has a seat in one of the chairs. Her parents already have the television turned onto the channel that updates the family on the progress. There are six different rows with different statuses, but the only one they need to worry about is the row that's labeled with her room number. Because of HIPAA regulation, the names cannot be displayed, but the room number can. At the moment it shows Anastasia as red, which means that she's still waiting to go into surgery. The doctor must not be ready, yet.
Carla finds herself bouncing both legs as she stares at the television. Her daughter hasn't even gone under the knife, yet, and all she wants to do is cry into her husbands shoulder. She's determined to fight it as long as she can, wanting to be strong for her baby. Anastasia is their only daughter and their whole world. If something were to happen to Anastasia, she doesn't think she could cope through it. She made the mistake of reading what could happen and she is just sick over what complications could come from this.
At the moment, Ray finds himself pretty numb. There is a part of him that feels like this isn't happening. He can't wrap his head around the fact that his Annie has to go through this. She's never done anything to deserve such a prognosis, but he knows that bad things happen to good people all the time. There is no rhyme or reason to why things happen and he shouldn't take it personally, but he does. She's worked hard her whole life. She was a straight A student, the valedictorian of her high school, third in line for her university, and has worked her ass off in the career world to make herself senior editor by the time she hit twenty-five. He couldn't have asked for a better daughter. She's driven, respectful, and thoughtful.
"She's turned yellow!" Carla states, nervously. Yellow means that she's officially on the operating table. The three of them sit in silence and stare at the television.
"It's not going to turn any faster with us staring at it." Ray mentions when his eyes start to go cross-eyed. He presses his palms into his eye sockets and rubs his eyes.
"What else are we supposed to do?" Carla snaps.
Ray sighs, dropping his hands. "Just relax, honey. Why don't we walk down and get a coffee?"
Carla shakes her head. "I am not leaving. What if something happens while we're gone?"
"Panicking is not the answer, Carla. We're all worried about Annie, but she'll be okay." Ray rubs his wife's shoulders.
"I'll call your cell if anything happens." Christian offers, knowing there is no way he'll be stepping out of the room until Anastasia is back and resting comfortably.
Ray nods and smiles. "Thank you, Christian. See, Carla? Everything will be fine. Let's go take a walk."
XxXxXx
Christian paces in Anastasia's room, looking at the television every time he turns. It's been two hours and the surgery should have been done by now.
The nurse enters her room and her parents both jump off of the couch, looking for answers.
"Where is she?"
"Is she okay?"
The nurse gives the three of them a smile, relieving their worry, but just barely.
"Anastasia is fine. It is worse than what they thought it'd be, so it's taking the doctor a little longer to remove what he can. She should be done in about a half an hour or so."
Everyone exhales, relieved that the news isn't worse.
"Does the doctor think he can get it all?" Carla asks, wanting some clue to the probability of Anastasia being able to carry her own children.
"I'm not sure, Mrs. Steele. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait until the doctor comes to speak with all of you."
Carla's shoulders sag in disappointment. At least Anastasia is okay. She was just hoping to be able to give her daughter some good news.
Ray wraps an arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry, honey. I'm sure everything will be fine. Let's have a seat and wait for our girl."
Christian chews on his thumbnail while he keeps a close look on the television and the clock. Twenty-five minutes. It shouldn't be much longer. This has been the longest three hours of his life.
His eyes find the television again and her room number, 205, turns from yellow to green. He blinks a few times, thinking he's seeing things.
"She's out!" Carla jumps out of her seat and looks at the television closer, like it's going to tell her more.
XxXxXx
Anastasia is rolled out of the OR recovery and back to her room, where her three loved ones are all waiting impatiently.
"Anastasia is drowsy and will be for awhile. She's just now coming out of anesthesia and she has some strong pain medication, so she might not remember much of what you say and might act a little silly." The nurse explains, getting Anastasia hooked up to her blood pressure cuff and pulse-oximeter.
"Ana...Ana, baby? Can you hear me?" Carla leans over her, stroking her hair.
Anastasia groans and her eyes flutter open. "Mom?"
"Yes, I'm here."
"Did everything go okay? Do I still have everything?" Her hands come up to grope her abdomen, but her mother grabs her hands.
"Don't touch, baby. Everything is fine. You did great." Carla kisses her forehead and steps back so that Ray can see her.
"Dad?"
He smiles.
"When did you get so old?" She reaches up to poke at his eye wrinkle and he chuckles.
"Nice to see you, too, Annie. Christian's here."
Her eyebrows knit together. "Christian? Where?" She turns her head the opposite direction and Christian smiles down at her.
"Hey, love."
She gives him a smile and blinks slowly. "Hello there, handsome." Her eyes drag up and down his body. "Wanna give me a sponge bath?"
Christian laughs. "I'll have to take a rain check."
"Come closer."
His eyebrows shoot up. "You aren't going to bite me or anything, are you?"
She giggles. "I just want to see you."
He leans in and she reaches up to cup his face, pulling him closer. "Look at that face! I get to look at this every day? I am one lucky girl. Can I take you home?"
"You are a mess." Christian tells her, amused. "Why don't you relax and sleep it off a little?" He encourages, but Anastasia notices the pulse-oximeter on her finger and gets distracted.
She looks it over, turning her finger back and forth as she stares at it. A smile forms on her face and then she lifts it towards Christian's face. "E.T. phone home."
"Oh, my god. Our child is high as a kite." Ray states, shaking his head. "She'll never remember this. Maybe we should tape it."
Carla smacks her husband's stomach. "Oh, Ray! Don't be ridiculous. Ana, baby, you need to get some rest. Why don't you relax and close your eyes. We aren't going anywhere."
Anastasia's machine beeps, scaring her. "What is that? Did my heart stop? Am I dead?"
Christian rubs his face.
"Ana…" He tries to get her attention, but she's too busy looking for the source of the beeping.
"I'm dying!" She looks at Christian with wide eyes.
"Ana...Ana, listen to me." He cups her face and she blinks up at him. "Are you listening?"
She smiles up at him. "You're handsome. Are you dead, too?"
He does his best not to laugh. "Ana...listen to me."
"Kiss me." She puckers her lips and tries to lift her head off the pillow.
He shakes his head and grabs her shoulders, pinning her down.
"Oh, kinky!" She gives him a salacious grin.
Ignoring her, Christian releases her shoulders. "If you lay back and close your eyes, I'll kiss you. You've got to promise to sleep, though."
"But Christian…" She whines.
"Lay back." He commands, making her sink down in her bed. "Good girl. Now close your eyes." She takes one last look at him and then squeezes her eyes shut. "Thank you, Ana. Now, go to sleep."
Unfortunately, she doesn't forget their deal and she puckers her lips while her eyes are squeezed shut. He lets out a sigh and shakes his head before ducking down to peck her lips.
She hums. "Wonderful. Was it good for you?"
Oh, for pity's sake! "Goodnight, Anastasia." His tone is flat.
"Goodnight, handsome. Maybe when I wake up we can kick out the parentals and you can help me make that baby." She tries to pry her eyes open to wiggle her eyebrows, but fails miserably.
Less than a minute later, she begins to snore.
Carla eyes Christian, who is now sitting in the chair right next to Anastasia's bed, holding her hand while he smooths her hair out of her face. A part of her hopes that Anastasia remembers what she's said so that she seriously considers asking Christian to be the sperm donor. The two have such a beautiful relationship and she knows that they'd co-parent so well. Having a baby together might make them realize just how perfect they are for each other. She also knows that there is no point in trying to convince Anastasia to ask Christian. She hasn't taken any of the advice that she's given her and a part of her worries that Anastasia might refuse to even consider Christian as a donor if her mother is the one who mentions it.
To Carla, it's visible that her daughter is attracted to Christian. The way she reacted to him today shows that much. It's obvious how Christian feels about her daughter. No man would go through everything he's gone through for someone who's just a friend. He was such a wreck today while she was in surgery. The poor boy couldn't keep still. His hair is a mess from yanking on it and his bottom lip is almost raw from chewing on it. He loves her. He might not realize it right now, but he does. Carla just has to hope that he realizes it before Anastasia becomes pregnant with a donor's child instead of his.
XxXxXx
There's a knock on the door and the surgeon slips in.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Daniels." He introduces himself to the others before having a seat to speak to Anastasia.
"Anastasia, how are you feeling?"
Anastasia is sitting up in bed with a cup of ice water on her tray. She woke up about twenty minutes back, feeling and acting much better than she had after her surgery.
"I'm good. Drowsy. Sore. But, overall, good."
He smiles and nods. "Good, that's good. The surgery went well, although there was more build-up and scarring than we originally thought. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to remove some of the scarring."
Anastasia frowns. "What does that mean? Will I be able to have children?"
He licks his lips. "There is still a chance that you can, yes. If I were you though, I wouldn't wait too long. The longer you wait, the lower your chances are at successfully carrying your own. The scarring that is left is still more severe than others we see before the surgery. The longer you wait, the more endometrial tissue will build up and the more scarring you'll have."
"So, if I start now, what are my chances?" Anastasia bites her lip.
He sighs and looks down. "It's hard to say, but if I had to guess, I'd say 60% maybe?"
Carla smiles. "More than half. That's good news."
Unfortunately, Anastasia doesn't feel as hopeful as her mother. It isn't much better than 50/50 in her eyes.
She gives the doctor a small smile and thanks him.
"I know that this is a scary situation, Anastasia, but everything will work out in the end. Now, if you're feeling alright, you'll be able to go home today. You can shower tomorrow, but you'll be off work for another week at least. Don't pick up anything over five pounds and stay off your feet when you can. The nurse will give you a list of what to do and what not to do when you're discharged. I'll see you next Friday for your follow-up and we'll decide if you can go back to work then."
XxXxXx
Anastasia gets wheeled down to the car in a wheelchair while Christian runs ahead to get the valet to bring the car around.
The nurse is just pushing Anastasia out of the doors when the GMC is pulled up to the front. The valet climbs out of the car and Christian hands him a tip and takes the keys.
Anastasia slowly stands from her wheelchair, feeling a pulling on her lower stomach. Her arm clutches her lower stomach as she stands, bent over a little, scared that she'll tear something if she stands straight. Carla is at her side immediately while Ray puts her belongings in the back.
"Here, honey, let me help you to the car." It's only a few steps, but those steps are more than enough for Anastasia. Carla opens the passenger's side door for Anastasia and she looks at the seat, frowning. It's the first time that she regrets getting a larger car. The thought of having to use her abdominal muscles to climb into the vehicle makes her cringe.
"I...I don't know if I can…" She tries to put a foot up, but whimpers at the pulling sensation. She immediately worries that she'll tear something inside and bleed to death internally.
Seeing her struggle, Christian hustles over to the passenger's side and politely scoots Carla out of the way.
"Ana, let me help you. It's safer."
Her shoulders sag in relief. "Yes, thank you, Christian."
Picking her up as gently as he can, he slips her into the passenger's seat. She gives him a soft smile and he buckles her in while he's there, making sure it's secure.
"Does it pass inspection, Grey?" She cocks an eyebrow at him.
"I think I liked it better when you were drugged up. I like handsome much better."
Her eyebrows knit together. "What?"
Grinning, he takes a step back. "Watch your fingers." He quickly shuts the door, leaving Anastasia in the passenger's seat confused. What the hell happened while she was under sedation?
Once they reach Anastasia's apartment, she goes straight to bed. She's still exhausted from the anesthesia and pain medication, so the comfort and warmth of her bed is too inviting for her to ignore.
As thoughtful as ever, Gail brings dinner to the Steele's and Christian, just staying long enough to fix the table. Christian asks her to stay, but she declines. He figures that she has plans with Taylor since he's off for the night, so he doesn't press her on it.
At 8:30 pm, Christian notices that Anastasia's parents are exhausted and urges them to bed, promising to check on Anastasia after he cleans up the mess in the kitchen. It takes him awhile to find where everything goes, but he manages without much noise and heads towards Anastasia's room to check on her.
When he opens her door, he sees that the nightstand lamp is still on, but Anastasia is sleeping peacefully. She's snoring lightly like she was earlier, making him smile. The anesthesia seems to be giving her some much needed deep sleep.
He quietly makes his way over to her lamp and turns off the light. He turns to leave her room, but he hears her move.
"Christian?"
He winces. He hadn't meant to wake her.
"Yes, love. It's me. Go back to sleep." He whispers in the dark.
"Will you stay with me? Just for tonight?" Anastasia feels rather needy. It's been an emotional few days for her and having Christian close always makes her feel better.
He exhales. "Of course, Ana." He makes his way to the opposite side of the bed and slips off shoes and his clothes, leaving on just his boxer-briefs. He slips in beside her and she reaches over to take his hand.
"Thank you, Christian." She knows she's thanked him about a dozen times today, but she doesn't know how else to express her gratitude. Christian is her guardian angel. He's so selfless and takes such wonderful care of her. He'd do anything for her. She knows that there is nothing that she could ever do to repay him for everything he's done for her. Hopefully, he knows that she would do the same for him. She'd stand by him through anything.
"Thank you for asking me, Ana." He really didn't want to go home and he wasn't looking forward to sleeping on the couch, but he would have...for her. He just wants to make sure she's alright.
She gives him a sweet smile, a smile he's noticed that she only reserves for him, before she allows her heavy eyelids to close and she succumbs to sleep.
Christian watches her eyes flutter close and takes a minute to study her face. Her cheeks are warm, tinged pink from the deep sleep, her lips are dry and chapped from the anesthesia, but they're still the same pink color as the pink in the Wilton rainbow bubble gum she use to love to get out of the machine for a quarter. Her hair that was back in a neat ponytail has now escaped the elastic and is framing her face in a brunette halo mess. Her lashes are as dark as they've ever been, always seeming darker than they probably are thanks to her ivory skin. At the moment, she's a bit of a mess, but she's safe, she's whole, and she's got something to look forward to.
He knows that her life isn't going as planned, but she did receive some good news today and she'll be a mother before she knows it. Her dreams might be going a bit backwards than she thought...he's sure she expected to find a man and fall in love before becoming a mother... but life throws a wrench every once in awhile, and he knows she'll make do with what she's been thrown and thrive as mother.
For now, they'll concentrate on her recovery. He'll be there every step of the way, no matter how uncomfortable he is or how much the word sperm donor makes his stomach churn. He'll be the acting father no matter who the lucky bastard is who gets to father her child.
He'll be there. No matter what.
A/N: I apologize for forgetting to add the author's note about the teaser last time. This time, I didn't forget! If you'd like a teaser for the next chapter, let me know.