Author's Note: I have two divided camps reading this fic... Team Blaise and Team Anyone-But-Blaise.
Well, let's find out where Mr. Zabini stands on the matter!
The time jump here is a bit larger than I've shown for Hermione - about 4 months.
I ended up staying with Pansy and Harry until the end of July. After that, I started to feel like a burden, especially since I was functioning much better. They tried to assure me that it was no problem, but I had to learn to live on my own eventually. When I moved back into my house, Pansy helped me redecorate a bit and move things around so it didn't feel like quite the same place. I was grateful for that — it made the transition easier.
Quite a few significant dates passed — the second of May, Draco's birthday, James' second birthday, Harry's birthday — and now my birthday was quickly approaching. Harry and Ron had planned a party for me and I was equally dreading and excited about whatever they'd come up with. Pansy had told me to 'dress like a fucking woman' and meet them all at Grimmauld Place. I went shopping and bought a new navy blue dress, one that was what I'd call 'demurely sexy'. I was secretly hoping twenty-seven would be much, much better than twenty-six had been.
I thought back to my birthday last year, how I'd spent it wrapped up with Draco in the hotel in New York City. It was our last trip and, though he hadn't known it at the time, I was trying to squeeze in as many happy memories as possible. The plan had already been in motion, and I knew I'd be losing him soon. In a way, I was thankful that most of our big events were spent away from Britain. I didn't have to avoid any nearby places. Paris, Sorrento, New York City, Mykonos… those places were the scenes for some of our happiest memories.
Not letting myself dwell on it, I got ready to meet Harry, Pansy, Ron, Luna, and whoever else they'd invited for my birthday soiree. I had a sneaking suspicion they were going to try to set me up with someone tonight, even if it was just by introducing us and trying to be sly about it. Rolling my eyes at the thought, I grabbed my handbag and headed for the Floo. When I stepped out in Grimmauld Place, Blaise hugged me tightly.
"Buon compleanno, Tesoro!"
I kissed his cheek and replied, "Grazie!"
He held onto me for a little bit longer than normal, rubbing a hand up and down my spine. I looked at him questioningly, and he just flashed me a brilliant smile. Pansy strutted into the room, wearing heels that made her taller than Harry. It made me laugh since I knew he hated when she wore them.
"Happy birthday, Granger," she sang, and I wondered how much she'd had to drink already. "Let's go get you drunk and find someone for you to take home for the night!"
Blaise glared at her and I laughed. "Don't you remember? I'm not combining alcohol and sex, Pans."
"Well, you should. I know that I most certainly will be! It's my first night out since Sev was born." She did a little shimmy to emphasize.
Harry entered the room next, Ron and Luna not far behind him, and shook his head at his wife. Making his way over to me, he hugged me tightly. "Happy birthday, Hermione. Sorry, Pansy couldn't wait for you to get here to start the fun. I think she's a bit excited to have a night away from being a mummy."
"Potter, I love having your wonderful babies, but I'm still me and would like to have a good time! I'm sure you won't be complaining later," she responded.
Harry passed me off to Ron, and then Luna, and then Pansy announced, "We're going to the new club in Diagon Alley! Theo just opened it a few weeks ago and he offered us a VIP table for tonight!"
Giving me an apologetic smile, Harry gestured to the Floo. "We're going to dinner at the French restaurant you love first, Hermione. Lead the way."
I figured Harry would send all of us through first so he could scold Pansy for her behavior. Blaise stepped out behind me and looped his arm around my waist. "You look wonderful tonight. I'm glad you've maintained your weight since you moved home."
"Well, I do have quite a few people checking up on me regularly now, Blaise," I pointed out. "And I want to be better. I think I'm almost really there."
He laughed. "Then why did you go as white as a sheet when Pansy suggested finding a man?"
Rather than snapping at him immediately, I decided to think about it. Should I be open to looking for something new? Penelope and I had talked about dating in the abstract, but I'd never worked up the guts to try. It had been almost a year, and Pansy had said something like just for the night, but I wasn't sure I wanted to go that route.
Ron and Luna came through into The Leaky Cauldron, interrupting my thoughts. Ron looked at Blaise's arm around my waist and his brow furrowed a bit. I knew he didn't really understand our relationship, but I wasn't going to try to explain it again.
In one of our group therapy sessions, Ron had adamantly stated that I needed someone who would calm me down and wanted to live a happy life. Privately, the phrase 'no snakes like Malfoy' had been uttered more times than I could count, but I didn't think I saw Blaise in that light. We were comfortable, close friends. I wouldn't discount a quarter of men in the wizarding world based on where the Sorting Hat put them at age eleven. Besides, the best relationship I'd ever had — even if it had been unconventional and morally grey — was with Draco. Snakes had a lot of qualities I admired.
Ron looked to Blaise and said, "Is this a thing?"
"For the millionth time, Weasley, we're just friends," Blaise sighed. "We're comfortable sharing affection. You and Potter used to sling your arms around her at school all the time."
"That was different!" Ron protested.
Luna finally chimed in. "Ronald, let it go. I can see the Wrackspurts swarming your head. It was not different. Hermione and Blaise are friends. Their auras don't mesh romantically."
Looking to his wife, Ron's eyes softened. "I'm sorry, love."
"Quite alright. I know you'll always have lingering jealousy issues when it comes to Hermione."
It shocked me that Luna was this secure, this sure in her relationship. I'm sure the fact that I was also friends with her helped a lot, and she knew how spectacularly I had fucked up everything with Ron after the war. It had all worked out, though. Luna's dreamy personality had been the perfect counterweight to Ron's hot temper. A comment from his nearly angelic-looking wife calmed him immediately, which was certainly something I had never accomplished over the years. We could be like fire and petrol.
"Harry's reading Pansy the riot act," Ron commented. "He's telling her she was bang out of line for telling you to get drunk and have a one-off."
"Yeah, it didn't exactly work well for me last time," I said dryly and Blaise laughed, prompting Ron and Luna to join in.
This was what no one understood about Draco and Blaise and most other Slytherins I'd interacted with after the war. They somehow just got me — my dry sense of humor, my ambition, my need to plan and be strategic with things. I'm sure I would've been friends with more of them at school if it hadn't been for the pre-war climate and what they considered my 'unfortunate blood status'.
Finally, Harry and Pansy stepped out of the Floo and we all walked down the street towards the restaurant. Blaise still had his arm wrapped around me, keeping me close. I knew this part of the night was Harry's plan — he knew better than to torture me with a club for too long. However, as we were walking out in the open, a camera flashed, catching us off-guard.
Ron glared at the man holding it. "Really? What's so interesting about us going to dinner, mate? It's been nearly a bloody decade at this point!"
The man just smirked and Disapparated, likely directly to The Daily Prophet office.
"Fucking pests," Pansy hissed. "At least we all look good. The photo won't be a horrible one."
When we arrived at the restaurant, we were given a private room for dinner. Neville and Hannah were there, along with Ginny, George, and Angelina. I broke free from Blaise, going to hug the other people who had found the time to celebrate my birthday. Ginny handed me a glass of my favourite red wine when I reached her.
"I'm surprised you're here, Gin! The season isn't quite over yet," I said, taking a sip from the glass.
She shrugged. "It's one night. Harry sent me the Portkey and told me to take a night off from the glamorous Quidditch lifestyle." Looking over at Harry, she smiled the same sad smile she'd been giving him for years. "His words, not mine."
In an effort to redirect her, I asked, "Where is that hunky—"
Ginny shushed me. Over the past couple of months, she'd started a secret relationship with one of her team's trainers. After being injured, she spent a lot of time in his care, and they'd hit it off. She insisted that it was light and casual still, but it was the longest she'd carried on with anyone since Harry. I was excited for her.
"He couldn't take the night off. Demelza was hurt in yesterday's match, and I wasn't really ready to introduce him to half my bloody family anyway," she explained. "He worked with Demelza all day so he's having a kip while I'm gone."
I just nodded at her, not wanting to draw any further attention to our conversation since she still hadn't told her family about her new boyfriend. Before I knew it, I was forced into a chair at the head of the table, Blaise to my left and Harry to my right. We all ordered meals and chatted, and I suddenly realized I hadn't done anything like this in two years. I'd skipped out on so many group functions to spend birthdays and holidays with Draco since we couldn't go out together publicly.
Catching up with George, I listened closely as he told me all about the latest products he'd come up with for the store. Ron never liked to talk about the business, so I really wasn't up to date on their latest offerings. Everyone laughed at the newest items that would be terrorizing the halls of Hogwarts this year, most notably a prank necktie available in all house colors that caused the wearer to levitate at random intervals.
"I've been waiting on an owl from McGonagall scolding me," George laughed. "It seems it hasn't really happened in her class yet. I'm sure it will soon. Term's only just begun!"
"Has she owled you before?" I asked, intrigued.
George nodded and grinned. "Every year about one thing or another! She keeps a full stock of antidotes to the Skiving Snackboxes now. She bought one and had old Slughorn analyze them! I thought Fred and I had made that impossible, but I guess Sluggy has more skill than I realised."
Laughing at the mental image of the Potions master working tirelessly to figure out the antidote to prank products, I noticed Blaise watching me closely. His eyes were dancing over me, his lips forming a small smile. It was almost like he was in a trance. I met his gaze and said, "What's going on? Are you drunk already?"
"No, Tesoro," he answered. "I just haven't seen you laugh like that in a long time. It's nice."
I felt myself blush and I tried to shift my focus to someone else. Literally anyone else. Blaise had been looking at me like… well, like he was in love with me.
Ginny regaled everyone with Quidditch tales as we ate. Pansy and I exchanged eye-rolls; we were the only ones at the table who had not been obsessed with the sport at Hogwarts. Both Neville and Hannah had wanted to play, but lacked the skills on a broomstick.
Pansy gulped down a ton of wine and was getting handsy with Harry. His face was as red as a tomato, but he looked pleased at the attention nonetheless. Enjoying his discomfort, Ginny glanced at me and smirked. Luna chose that moment to stand from the table, coming to lean down and whisper, "I bet she'll be pregnant again after tonight."
I nearly spat my wine out and Blaise rubbed my back. Once I'd managed to swallow most of it down, I laughed harder than I had in a long time. I knew it wasn't particularly funny, but something about this night was really making me happy. I'm sure the wine didn't hurt, either.
"I'm going to the loo," Luna announced, and I got up to follow her.
"Me too," I responded, wanting to clean up some of the wine that had made its way to my dress.
Pansy stood up, wobbling on her ridiculous heels. "Me three!" she exclaimed. I wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her and she draped hers over my shoulders. "Granger, it should be your birthday every weekend. I'm already having so much fun."
"I can see that, Pans. I've never seen Harry so uncomfortable."
As we walked into the bathroom, she snickered. "He's such a prude in front of people! But as soon as we're home, he'll be tearing my knickers off and—"
"Nope! I don't want to know anything about that aspect of your relationship!" I interrupted, stopping her before she could scar me for life.
Pansy pouted at me. "But why? I'd love to hear about Blaise once you finally let him fuck you. I never got around to him at Hogwarts since I wasted so much time on Draco."
I swallowed hard, uncomfortable with both her proclamation about Blaise and I eventually having sex, and her mention of Draco.
Luna looked to her. "Pansy, Hermione and Blaise are just friends. She's not interested in him. I'll tell you what I told Ronald earlier — their auras don't mesh romantically. They look just the same as Hermione and Harry's."
I silently thanked Luna, praying Pansy would drop it at the mention of the auras. She tolerated Divination and talk of auras almost as well as I did.
However, I was not so lucky.
"That's bullshit," she answered. "Have you seen the way Blaise looks at her? Especially tonight? It's like she's a goblet of Gillywater during a drought!"
Yes, Pansy, I'm starting to notice that, but that doesn't mean it would work out.
The drunk witch continued her ramble. "And he's a good man. He's been there for her through everything. I'm sure he's going to dance with her tonight and try to warm her up to the idea—"
"Pansy, you can't let him do that," I interrupted her, panicking. "I can't — I won't — start something with Blaise. We're friends, and we work together, and that's it. He's Draco's best friend and—"
"And Draco won't know the fucking difference. He doesn't remember your relationship," she responded. "For fuck's sake, you have to move on eventually. Blaise is like Draco, but with no pesky wife, and he loves you, Granger. Why not Blaise?"
Because I can't. I can't go there with a close friend again. There are too many memories, too much to lose. I just… can't.
Luna glared at Pansy. "Stop. You're freaking her out. She already nearly ruined one friendship by getting into a relationship when she wasn't sure!"
Pansy scoffed. "Blaise isn't Weasley. He's an Italian hunk and I've heard his equipment is—"
Luna held her hand up, her light blue eyes casting curses at Pansy. "Don't. Don't say anything about Ron or Blaise or what Hermione should do. She gets to decide when she's ready, and she gets to decide who she wants to take a chance on. You're drunk and babbling on about things you have no business talking about, Pansy."
Pansy turned to face me, trying to figure out if I agreed with Luna. "Pans, I appreciate your advice, and I know I need to move on, but I'm not sure if Blaise is a good idea for me. I mean, Luna's right — I did nearly wreck my friendship with Ron. I don't want that to happen with Blaise. He's… special to me. He's the only one who knows everything, and he's never judged me. He's just… been there."
"My point exactly," Pansy stated. "But I won't push. Just don't be surprised when he tries to make a move, Granger. I think he's just waiting until he thinks you're truly better."
My stomach turned with nerves and I decided to take cover in the cubicle. Thanks to Pansy, I was anxious about the rest of the night. I couldn't refuse to dance with Blaise unless I refused to dance with everyone. But we were going to a nightclub; the dancing would be grinding and sexual, and if what Pansy said was true, it would be like foreplay to him. I groaned and heard Pansy start laughing.
"Now you're thinking about him. Is he naked in your mind?" she taunted.
He hadn't been, but he was now… and it didn't make me feel sick like the idea of Harry naked did.
Finishing up, I exited the stall and glared at her.
"He totally was! I can see it on your face!"
"What happened to not pushing?" I snapped. "I'm not ready for something serious and, should I ever decide I want to go there with Blaise, it would have to be serious. I would have to be sure."
Pansy nodded. "You would."
"So that's not tonight," I stated.
Pansy nodded in agreement. "Definitely not tonight if you're in this much of a snit about it."
After dinner, Hannah and Neville bade us goodnight, each giving me a tight hug.
Hannah leaned in and whispered, "I'm so glad that things are going better for you, Hermione. I was worried after last year."
"Thank you," I replied. "And thank you for… everything last year."
She nodded, not wanting to draw any further attention to us. As we exited the restaurant, Hannah and Neville headed in the opposite direction and we made our way to the nightclub.
Theodore Nott greeted us at the door. He gave me a warm smile and conjured a tiara before leaning forward to place it on top of my head. "Happy Birthday to the Gryffindor Princess!" he exclaimed. "I'm so glad you're all here to celebrate! I'll lead you to your private area."
Theo placed a hand on the small of my back and led us through the club. I noticed I had been right about the dancing — even though it was fairly early, there were couples essentially dry humping on the dance floor. Pansy squealed with excitement as she walked around, taking in her surroundings.
"Theo, it's so wonderful! It looks like the perfect place to meet someone to take home for the night!"
I looked over my shoulder and she wiggled her eyebrows. Blaise glared at her and said, "Stop trying to get Hermione to take someone home, Pans. She's not like the pre-Potter version of you."
I sucked in a breath, knowing Pansy likely wouldn't let that one fly. "Don't be jealous, Blaise. You and Granger are just friends, right? That's what you always say."
Blaise didn't answer and I didn't look back at him, not wanting to see the expression on his face. I felt Theo's thumb move, stroking against my back. "So, is that true? You're looking to meet someone?" he asked. "I can tell you who to stay away from."
"I am resolutely not looking to meet anyone. Pansy just thinks I should have a one-off for my birthday."
Theo smirked. "Well, you will have plenty of opportunities for that here, Granger. I'm sure there are plenty of men who'd love to get into those golden knickers of yours."
"Don't be a swine, Theo," Blaise growled. "She just said she's not interested in meeting anyone. I'm sure that includes going home with you."
Theo whispered in my ear. "He's grumpy tonight."
I laughed and leaned in to respond. "Blaise thinks I make bad decisions when I mix men and alcohol. He's not wrong. He's trying to protect me from the horrible men who would take advantage of me."
Oh my Gods, am I flirting? That sounded like flirting. When was the last time…
"Put me on the list of horrible men, then. I would love to take advantage of you whenever you'd like," Theo purred.
I grinned at him. "I'll keep that in mind."
As soon as Theo walked away, Pansy was at my side. "What was that?" she demanded. "You just… you talked to Theo, and you were almost batting your eyelashes at him!"
I shrugged. "You told me to try. I'm trying. I have to learn how to chat with men again, right?"
Blaise moved closer to us, clearly trying to listen in. The music was starting to get louder, and I knew he wouldn't be able to hear anything, but I still put a stop to the conversation. Deep down, I knew I'd been flirting with Theo to see how Blaise reacted, but was that fair? Even though I didn't feel ready for anything with Blaise, and I wasn't sure if I ever would, I had no right to try and manipulate his feelings that way.
I'd messed with enough feelings and relationships in the past year.
As I looked around, I begrudgingly admitted that this particular club was nice. There were small sofas arranged in a circle around a table in our private area, and George and Angelina were already sitting and observing what was going on around them. I gestured to the couches. Seemingly forgetting all of her pureblood etiquette, Pansy plopped down onto one. Harry slid in next to her and she leaned against him, kissing his cheek. Ginny was standing at the bar, chatting with the bartender. Seeing that Ron and Luna were already dancing, I sat down, crossing my legs at the knee. Blaise lowered himself into the seat beside me, careful to avoid touching me.
Things felt tense, so I decided I needed a drink. As I was about to stand up, a waitress came over with a bottle of champagne, setting it down in front of me and conjuring several flutes. She poured the golden bubbly into the glasses and handed one to me. "A birthday treat, courtesy of Mr. Nott," she said with a wink. "He'll be back to see you later on, once everything in here is settled for the night. You're the only VIPs in today."
"I'm sure he will," Blaise mumbled as he snatched a glass. "Fucking wanker."
I looked over at him and he tried to hide his scowl. Raising my glass, I said, "Thank you all for taking me out this year. I definitely needed it."
"Cheers to you, Hermione! Here's to hoping twenty-seven is a good year for you!" George responded.
I clinked my glass against Blaise's and smiled at him. He reciprocated, but it looked forced. Pansy stood with her own glass, and I was terrified to hear whatever she was going to say.
"To Granger! Time to move on from a shite year and have a whole lot of fun!" she announced.
George and Angelina looked confused, but they didn't question anything.
When Ginny came back, she had a pitcher of some sort, and there was spiraling pink vapor coming off the top of it. I looked at it with fear — it seemed more like a recreational potion than a drink, and I was certainly not to be trusted with something like that. If alcohol impaired my mind enough to make bad decisions with men…
"What's that?" Blaise asked, scooting closer.
Ginny clapped her hands. "It's a special drink. It's supposed to have some inhibition-lowering qualities, and it tastes like raspberry lemonade!"
Sniffing it, I could tell there was something almost Amortentia-like about it, smelling like everything that reminded me of Draco. "Gin, I don't think any of us should drink this. It's clearly got a love or lust potion in it."
"Lighten up, Hermione! The bartender assured me it's perfectly safe and just a bit of fun!" she scolded.
Pansy looked over at me, raising an eyebrow in a dare before darting her eyes towards Blaise. He was watching me, waiting to see what I decided, before partaking in the drink. I knew the likelihood of something happening between us would be exponentially higher if I gave in and drank this. Or I'd do something stupid, like kiss Theo or Ginny, because of it.
"I can't, Gin. I'm sorry. I'm going to stick to the champagne," I finally said, and Harry looked relieved. Much to my shock, Blaise did, too.
With a shrug, she simply replied, "Suit yourself!" before pouring herself a glass and drinking it down. George looked like he might be sick, and I was concerned Ginny was about to sabotage yet another relationship. Pansy also took some, but it only seemed to increase her interest in Harry, her hands starting to wander his body.
"Let's dance!" Ginny shouted over the music, and we all made our way over to where Ron and Luna were.
This definitely wasn't my thing — I didn't understand this kind of dancing at all, but I played along, moving in time to the beat. I noticed Blaise smirking, likely at my awkwardness, and I stuck my tongue out at him. He took it as an invitation to help me, slowly swooping in behind me and pulling me close before placing his large hands on my hips.
He somehow burrowed through my hair and brought his lips close to my ear to whisper, "You're gorgeous tonight. I know I already said that, but I just want you to hear it over and over again."
I leaned back into him instinctively, goosebumps erupting over my skin as his breath danced into my ear and across my neck. While this had always been a turn on for me, I was surprised at my body's reaction. Blaise and I had cuddled close on multiple occasions and I'd never reacted this way. I wasn't feeling drunk, so I couldn't blame it on the alcohol. We ended up flush against each other, and he wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me even tighter. I didn't even attempt to pull away. His hips were moving in a grinding motion, and I moved with him, finding that I enjoyed the scent of his cologne and the feel of his body against mine.
I reached for his other arm, and when I linked my fingers with his, I felt a spark between us, one that had never been there before. Although the sound was masked by the music, I felt my breath catch. As I guided his other arm around my waist, allowing him to fully hug me against his body, I was both confused and excited.
Was this a sign? Was I reacting this way because I was ready in general? Or was it because I was dancing with Blaise specifically?
Before I knew what was happening, he managed to spin me so we were face to face, and he was leaning forward. Certain he was going to kiss me, my heart started to race and my eyes widened. At the last moment, though, his face diverted its path and he whispered in my ear again. "I can tell you're scared, Tesoro. If you're not ready, I can keep waiting. You're worth every minute. Don't feel like you have to do anything tonight, but please don't make me watch you leave with someone else. I'm begging you, Hermione."
Clear as day now — Blaise wanted this, wanted me. The friendship I'd thought was like mine with Harry was no more. I stood on my tiptoes. "So I'm not just a friend then?" I felt him shake his head. "Blaise, I… I don't know what to say. I thought—"
"I know," he began. "Don't say anything. Just start thinking about it. I know you need to process, and I know it's been a shite year, but you're getting better now, and I wanted you to know. Before you go and start something with anyone else, just… think about it. Either way, we're friends. I… care about you, and I don't want you to run off because of this. If it's not what you want, I'll get over it."
My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt like a deep exhale into my ear would knock me over or turn me into a pile of mush at Blaise's feet. I pulled back and looked into his eyes as we continued dancing. He was focused on me, his pupils blown wide with want. I kissed his cheek, something I'd done a million times before, and said, "I'll start thinking."
He smiled and spun me back around so we could continue dancing like the other couples around us.
Couples. He wanted to be a couple. He wanted me, even though he'd seen me at my absolute worst time and time again.
Pansy and Ron and everyone else had been right. He wanted to start something with me and I had been blind to it, likely for months. I supposed it didn't help that he had constantly told everyone that we were only friends. Just five months ago, I had been pining for Draco. While I still did from time to time, it was definitely lessening. Maybe by the time the new year rolled around, I'd be ready. However, I knew I needed to get through the beginning of October first, and that was going to be a challenge in and of itself.
When I finally looked up at Pansy, she grinned at me as she continued rocking her hips against Harry's. Ginny had found some poor wizard in the crowd and was dancing much more provocatively than I was. Ron was glaring at Blaise over the top of Luna's head, and George and Angelina were snogging. Trying to reconcile what was happening, I closed my eyes. I didn't feel nothing for Blaise — but I wasn't sure how far what I felt extended beyond friendship. I had to admit that being pressed against him like this was actually sort of nice.
Is this my loneliness speaking? Or do I really… Could I really…?
His lips were at my ear again. "Oh, Tesoro, I want to take you to bed. Dancing like this, it makes me want you even more." I froze and tried to pull away, but he held me tightly. "Don't run. I already told you I won't push. But I need you to know. I can't keep denying it."
Moving back to my hips, his hands started rocking me again and I spun back around, wanting to talk more. My mouth moved to his ear. "Blaise, if we go there, I need to be certain. I don't want to start something up with you and then lose you altogether. You know what I did to Ron, and I—"
"You will never lose me. I'm a grown man, Hermione. I can handle a little bit of rejection," he replied.
I shook my head. "It doesn't change the fact that I want to be sure. This first time, the first time after him, it's going to be hard for me."
He pulled back and smirked, turning my words into an innuendo, and I nearly slapped him. I knew what he was thinking.
"Blaise, I need you to be serious right now! I'm really scared," I admitted. "I know that whoever I start a relationship with is going to be compared to him, and I know that's not right."
With a scoff, he said, "I can hold my own against Malfoy, Hermione. Don't run scared because you think I'll get my feelings hurt. I know you'll likely always love him, maybe even more than whoever you end up with, but maybe not. Maybe something built on friendship could be just what you need."
"Maybe," I murmured, spinning back around and ending the conversation.
After a few more songs, I made my way back to the couches, Blaise following closely. I sipped my champagne and tried not to watch my friends as they essentially shagged on the dance floor. He sat beside me, examining my face, likely trying to decide what approach to take with me. Like I had hundreds of times before, I leaned into him and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. After that dance and his admission, it felt a bit different. Pulling out his wand, he cast a charm that muffled the thumping beat of the music.
"So, just to be clear since it was hard to hear out there, you're going to think about this?" he asked softly.
I nodded. "I will, Blaise, but I need to get through October first. I don't know what's going to happen when—"
He turned me to face him and placed a hand on my jaw. "Nothing is going to happen. I won't let you be alone for this, Hermione. Please don't shut everyone out. Don't shut me out. I don't want anything to happen to you."
"I don't want to feel that way again, but it could happen," I replied. "That's why I don't want to rush into anything. It could be doomed from the start because of everything I've been through."
I felt his hand venture down my back, gently stroking it. "It won't be doomed unless you want it to be, Tesoro. You need to let him go."
"I know that. I think I'm starting to," I answered, tipping my face down and looking at my lap. "But this is all a bit confusing. I mean, you just told Ron we're only friends at the start of the night and—"
"Do you really think I wanted to tell you with an audience? Especially when it was Weasley who asked the question?"
I suppose that makes sense. How do I act around him now? Do I still let him touch me? Do I act like I don't know he wants more?
Blaise laughed, and I chanced a glance up at him, not really understanding what was funny in that moment. "When I told you to think, Hermione, I didn't mean tonight. Have some more champagne and dance with me again. Celebrate. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing has really changed now."
"Okay, let's do that. I'm sure that lot is wondering what we're doing over here," I answered, even though I knew everything had changed.
I just wasn't quite sure what to make of it.
Dear Draco,
Today, or yesterday at this point, was my birthday. I thought of you and how we spent it last year, sneaking away to New York for the weekend, of how it was our last real trip together. But only for a little while. Things are truly getting better this time around, and something really unexpected happened today. Blaise told me that he's interested in me. I didn't see that coming at all, though I suppose it makes sense — he's always told everyone who's questioned him that we're just friends. Honestly, I haven't looked at anyone in that way since you, but I'm comfortable with him. We danced together and it felt nice to be held again…
I told him I'd think things through, but I'm almost anticipating falling to pieces in October. It seems to be a pattern for me to fall apart during dates that were significant to us. I'm guessing the anniversary of our break-up, of your Obliviation, would fall into that category. It happened at Christmas last year and then on your wedding anniversary this year. I likely would've ended up the same way around your birthday if I hadn't been staying with Harry and Pansy. I just… I don't know what to do. I don't feel like I'll ever really be able to feel the same way about another man, and that terrifies me. Especially if I decide to take a chance on Blaise. He's been there for me through everything — every fight, break-up, tryst, the Obliviation and the aftermath.
I feel like he deserves so much more than I could ever give him, and that puts me off the idea of it. I don't want to lose him as a friend, and I think it would be weird to start up with your best mate. Pansy seems to think it's a brilliant idea, though I'm not sure why. Merlin, she was so pissed tonight. Harry had to carry her through the Floo. Ron and Luna were there, and George and Angelina, too. Hannah and Neville came to dinner, but not out to the club.
I wish I could talk to you, though I'm sure you wouldn't understand my hesitation with Blaise. It would just be nice to see what you think. Luna says our auras don't mesh romantically, that it looks the same as mine with Harry's. I nearly laughed when she told us that.
I hope you're well and so very happy. I still miss you, even if it's not quite every single day at this point. I do hope I see you in person again someday, but I have a feeling your father is discouraging you from re-entering wizarding society at the moment. He likely wants to keep us apart.
Hermione xx
Author's Note: So will she or won't she? And what was that with Mr. Nott? Let me know what you think. We'll see Draco next week!