Anastasia is six days into her injections and she's really feeling the emotional effects of the medication. She has been so weepy for the last four days that she cried herself to sleep the night before. She knows that it's the drugs, but no matter how logical she tries to be about it, she can't manage to logic the feeling away.
Christian has been working late every night this week, mentioning something about how to sustain the nutrients in soil longer while saving more of the water supply for drinking in rural African areas, so she's seen very little of him, only seeing him during lunch so that he can give her the injection before he disappears again. This is making her extremely lonely. She's been trying to strike up a conversation with Hannah, her PA, but Hannah gives her a weird look every time she tries.
Once the clock strikes 3:00pm, she decides to call it a day and heads home to hide in bed for awhile. She wants to mope about and have a small pity party for herself while no one is watching. She grabs her package of double stuffed Oreos, a bottle of water, and her cell before shutting herself up in her room to watch a pay-per-view movie. After changing into some cotton shorts and an oversized t-shirt, she snuggles up in bed and turns on one of her favorite movies, The Proposal. No matter how many times she watches it, she can't help, but laugh at everything Betty White's character does.
As it begins, she props herself up and opens her oreos to munch. She grins and she nibbles on her cookie. "This is kind of nice." Very rarely does she do stuff like this and, in a way, it's kind of therapeutic.
XxXxXx
Christian knows he's been neglecting Anastasia this week. The last two days, it has been obvious that her mood has shifted to the sad side. She's tried to hide it, but he knows her better than that. This is terrible timing for him to be so busy. He's ecstatic that the agricultural department at the university has made a breakthrough, but it's not the best timing. Anastasia is a strong woman, though, and he knows that she is more than capable of dealing with this on her own. That doesn't mean she should have to.
"Alright guys, that's a wrap. We'll see you next Friday." Ros closes the final meeting of the week and Christian decides to surprise Anastasia at her office and see if she's willing to play hooky and leave work a couple of hours early.
After letting Taylor know that he's headed to SIP, he grabs his jacket, locks his office and makes his way to her office on foot, which is just down the street from Grey House.
"Hello, Hannah." He gives Hannah a smile as he approaches the desk.
Hannah grins and pops out of her seat like she always does when he enters. Luckily, there is no liquid to spill today. "Hello, Mr. Grey. What can I assist you with?"
"Ana busy?"
Hannah's eyebrows raise. "Um, Ana's not here."
"What?"
"She went home."
He worries his lip. "When?"
"About three."
"Was she sick?"
She shrugs. "Not sure."
Christian is now worried about his best friend. Why didn't she say anything to him? "Thanks, Hannah."
He makes his way back to his car and jumps in, deciding to head straight for her apartment. Ten minutes later, he's unlocking her apartment to check on her and finds her in her bedroom.
"Ana?"
She jumps. "Christian?" She gives him a large smile, pushes her oreos to the side, and hurries over to hug him. "I didn't even hear you come in."
He wraps her in his arms. "I went to SIP and Hannah said you went home early. Are you sick?"
"No."
"Then what is it?"
She releases him and climbs back into her bed, getting comfortable. "These injections are making me so weepy and lonely. I couldn't concentrate, so I decided to come home and drown my sorrows in a package of oreos and a good movie."
Christian feels guilty. "You're lonely? Oh, Ana...I'm sorry." He slips his shoes off and slips into bed beside her.
She shrugs it off. "I know it's the medication, I just wish that my heart would listen to my brain."
"You can't help it, love."
"I tried to make small talk today with Hannah, but she just looked at me as if I lost my mind."
Christian snorts. "Can you blame her? She's probably suspicious."
"Don't laugh at me." She pouts pathetically. "I'm hormonal. Hug me. Hold me. Love on me." She rolls over and clings to him and he laughs.
"It sounds like someone needs a boyfriend."
Anastasia stops in mid-squeeze and her arms relax before she pulls away. "You're right."
"Ana?"
"I've been treating you like a boyfriend. Like it's your responsibility to take care of me."
"Ana, no. I was just teasing." He reaches forward and pulls her closer to him, but she struggles against his arm. "Ana, please don't. I'm sorry."
She shakes her head. "Don't be sorry, Christian."
"Then get your ass over here." Christian demands.
She eyes him for a second and then sighs, turning away from him and scooting back until she's pressed up against him.
He spoons her and presses a kiss to the back of her head. "You're going to be carrying my child, Anastasia. It is my responsibility. I'm here to support you. It's what I want to do."
Anastasia forces the urge to cry away for the moment. She tries to tell herself that she's being overly emotional because of the injections, but she can't keep the guilt from nagging her chest.
"Can I be the big spoon?" She asks, turning her head to look at him.
He snorts. "Nope."
She rolls her eyes. "Why not?"
"Because I'm the man."
"Oh, brother. It isn't emasculating to be spooned, Christian."
"Yes, it is."
A small smile forms on her face at his words. He always has to be in control. To be dominant. "This isn't over, Grey."
He chuckles. "We'll see about that...now relax and go to sleep. It's naptime."
XxXxXx
On Sunday, Anastasia stands in her bathroom after her shower, trying to psych herself up. Today, she's determined to give herself a shot. She wants to be more independent. It isn't healthy for her to depend on Christian so much during this time. She's a strong woman, she can do this herself.
She takes the alcohol wipe and cleans the area, then takes the injection pen and screws on a new needle top.
"You can do this, Steele. You've got this." She hates needles. "Stop being such a baby." She pivots herself so she can see in the mirror and holds the pen steady. "One...two...three." Her hand comes down, but she second guesses herself and it stops a centimeter from her skin.
"Damn it!"
"Anastasia?" Christian is standing at her bathroom door, confused. She was supposed to be at his apartment a half-an-hour ago so that he could administer her shot, but she never showed. He called, but she didn't answer.
"Christian! Why do you always have to burst into my apartment?" She scowls at him.
"You weren't answering your phone. I wanted to make sure you were okay." Realizing she isn't in anything but a shirt and lacy little underwear, he looks away. He really needs to get laid. He seems to get turned on over the tiniest things these days.
"I'm fine." Anastasia says, pulling her shirt down over her panties. "I just wanted to do the injection myself."
Christian's eyes meet hers and he cocks an eyebrow at her. "And how's that going for you?"
She lets out a frustrated growl, slams the pen down on the counter, and has a seat beside it. "Why can't I do it myself?"
"Because you have a fear of needles."
Tears fill her eyes and she looks down at her hands. "My baby should be more important than a few injections." Her voice cracks.
"The baby is more important, Ana…" He steps towards her and she rests her forehead against his chest. "Everyone has their weaknesses, love. That's why it's so important for everyone to have a support system. I'm here to support you. Let me help you."
She sniffles. "I hate this. I hate having to depend on you. I should do this myself."
His jaw clenches, realizing. "Ana, is this about my comment on Friday? It was a joke! Please, stop dwelling on that. I should have been more considerate of your feelings." The injections are making her so sensitive and he isn't used to that. She usually takes all his jokes in stride and even comes back with a few of her own.
"This baby is my responsibility, Christian." As she sits up straight, her shirt rises, showing the small swatch of underwear between her legs. He looks up at the ceiling and clenches his eyes shut, trying to focus.
"This baby is our responsibility, Ana. It's our baby. You're my best friend and you're going to be carrying my child...making you my responsibility, as well."
"Well, I don't like it." She picks at the button of his shirt.
"Tough shit, Anastasia." He grabs the injection pen off the counter. "Now hop up so I can stab you in the ass."
XxXxXx
Christian has been a walking hard-on since he caught Anastasia in her panties last Sunday and masturbation has done nothing to help. It's been months since he's had a woman and he knows that if he doesn't get laid soon, he might end up going fucking crazy. He needs a good fuck.
While in a meeting with Taylor this afternoon, his friend, Aubrey, left him a voicemail saying that she's in town for the weekend. The relief he feels is immediate. It's exactly what he needs. He and Aubrey always find time to meet up when they're in the same city...usually to fall into bed once or twice before the other leaves.
Grabbing his phone, he texts her.
*Hey, Aub. How's 7:00 pm sound?*
He gets a text back almost immediately. *Perfect.*
He grins. Aubrey with the auburn hair and honey eyes. He's ready to let out some aggression on that body of hers. His sexual frustration has pent up for far too long.
Rubbing his hands together, he heads to the kitchen to grab some dinner before hitting the shower. He needs to fuel for later.
XxXxXx
Christian greets Aubrey when she enters through the elevator.
"It's nice to see you, Aubrey." He leans down and presses his lips to hers.
"You, too, Christian. I've missed you." Aubrey gives him a salacious grin.
"Missed me or missed my body?" He teases.
"What's the difference?"
At her words, a breath of air is forced out of him in a sudden exhale. What's the difference? Isn't he more than just a shell of a body? He knows past his exterior, there isn't much special about him, but for her to say it so bluntly makes his chest twinge slightly. It's very obvious that Aubrey is here for one thing and one thing only.
So is he.
Don't forget that, Grey.
He composes quickly and gives her a grin. "Wine, Ms. Alexander?"
She hums. "That sounds wonderful, Mr. Grey. You always have such exquisite choices."
She's stroking his ego and he can't help, but feel a little smug as they make their way towards the kitchen to choose a wine. Only the best for him.
When they have a seat on the couch with their wine, Aubrey doesn't take any time sliding in close and finding his lips.
After his surprise subsides, he leans into the kiss and begins to enjoy himself. Luckily, they've been together enough for her to know his boundaries and she keeps her hands on his thighs, massaging them as their kiss deepens. Her hands wander up to his belt and she begins to unbuckle it. He pulls away.
"Impatient little thing." He says, taking her hands.
She gives him a smile. "I was hoping we'd enjoy each other a few times tonight."
He chews on his bottom lip. He knows she's willing and ready, but he isn't as aroused as she is. She keeps pressing her thighs together and wiggling on the couch and he knows she's begging to be touched. But he can't. What the fuck is wrong with him? He's walked around with a semi for over a week and now, it's flaccid...bored.
"Nothing's wrong with a little foreplay, Ms. Alexander." Maybe if they kiss a little longer, it'll help. He takes both of her hands in one of his and moves her with the other, laying her down on the couch so he can lay on top of her. His lips find hers again and she grinds into him with a moan. He relaxes against her, enjoying the way she reacts to him. He loves to make women squirm.
He hears the bell of the elevator and he pulls his lips off of hers.
Aubrey whimpers. "Christian...Don't stop." She's breathless.
"Hush." He pushes himself up on his elbows and looks over his shoulder in just enough time to see Anastasia making her way from the foyer.
Anastasia stops, seeing the two of them. Her eyes widen and she takes a couple steps back and then turns away, heading back to the foyer. She's completely shocked and wants to get away from the situation.
"Ana! Ana, stop!" Christian jumps off the couch to catch her and finds her at the elevator door. "Ana..."
She turns towards him. "I'm sorry for interrupting, Christian. I had no idea…" She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. I'll leave you two alone." Turning around, she jabs at the elevator button and it opens. She climbs into the elevator and hits the button to his garage, but he holds the door open with his hand.
"Ana, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you were coming."
She shakes her head and gives him a forced smile. "It's fine. I shouldn't have come." She looks him over and her eyes fall on his open belt. The button on his jeans is popped open and she can see the waistband of his Calvin Kleins. She squeezes her eyes closed as a sharp pain stabs her in the chest. She needs to get away. All she wants to do is get away from him so she can fall apart in peace.
He follows her eyes and realizes what she's staring at. He hurries to right his button and belt. "Sorry. Did you need something?"
She shakes her head and swallows hard. "Nope." Her eyes meet his again.
"Ana…" He hates that she's caught him in this situation. It's been years since either one of them have walked in on each other during something like this. He knows how emotional she is right now and he doesn't want to upset her.
"It's rude to leave her waiting, Christian. I'll talk to you later." She tries to push his hand out of the way of the door, but he refuses to budge.
"Tomorrow?"
She nods.
"Ana…"
"Yes, okay? Tomorrow, I promise."
He gives her a relieved smile and leans in, but she places her hand against his lips. "No."
It's the first time she's ever denied him and he's hurt by it, but he understands. He just had his tongue down another woman's throat. He shouldn't have even tried to seal the promise.
"Okay, tomorrow." He releases the door and watches her as she disappears behind the elevator door.
"Christian? What's going on?" Aubrey is standing at the foyer door.
He runs his fingers through his hair and yanks. The slight boner he had is gone and will not be coming back tonight. He can't possibly enjoy himself when Anastasia left so hurt.
Christian turns toward Aubrey. "I think it'd be best if you left, Aubrey. I'm sorry."
"Who was that? Was that Anastasia?" She knows that he has a best friend with that name, but she's never met her. "She's pretty."
"She's gorgeous." He looks back toward the elevator doors. "But she's upset and I just can't...not while...I'm sorry."
Aubrey chews her lip for a moment and then nods. "I'll just get my handbag."
"I'll call the valet to pull your car around." Since Aubrey doesn't have his codes for the parking garage or his apartment, she has to leave her car with the valet, sign in at the concierge desk, and be escorted to the elevator.
When she's ready, he walks her to the elevator. "I'm sorry, Aubrey. Have a good night." He leans down and kisses her cheek.
She presses her lips together and Christian knows she's disappointed, but he can't bother to care right now. "Goodbye, Christian."
"Bye."
When the elevator closes, he turns to find some bourbon in the kitchen.
"Mr. Grey?"
"Yes, Taylor."
"Ms. Steele hasn't left the parking garage, yet."
Christian stops midway through his pour and looks at Taylor. "She hasn't?"
Taylor shakes his head.
Christian runs for the elevator, but it's still on it's way down to the lobby with Aubrey in it.
"Fuck."
"The freight elevator, Christian." Taylor states, helping.
XxXxXx
Anastasia is sitting in her SUV, trying to compose herself. She barely made it to her car before bursting into sobs. This is why she didn't want him to be the donor. This is too hard. This part of their lives should remain separate. She shouldn't have to worry about who he's sleeping with and what he's doing when she's not around. It shouldn't be her business, but she feels affected by it now that he's going to be the father of her child.
It is killing her that he is upstairs with another woman while she's sitting in her car, sobbing like a lunatic. It was so painful to see him on top of another woman. She's made a mistake. He can't be her sperm donor. This is too fucked up.
The driver's side door gets yanked open, making Anastasia scream.
"It's just me, Ana." Christian puts his hands up. "Come on, love. Get out of the car."
She smacks his hands away. "No, I'm going to go home." She grabs for her keys in the center console and tries to stick them in the ignition.
"No, Anastasia! You can't drive like this." He grabs her and starts to pull her out of the car.
"No! Christian, no! Leave me alone! Stop it!" Her keys fall to the floorboard and she fights him, trying to kick and push him away, but he manages to drag her out of the car and throw her over his shoulder.
"You're coming inside."
"I don't want to. Please, please don't." She punches him in the kidney as she's hanging upside down over his shoulder and he hisses. Once he has her in the freight elevator he puts her down, but she tries to hit the 'door open' button before it closes. He wraps his arms around her, keeping her arms pinned to her sides and holds her back against him as she struggles.
"You can't kidnap me!"
Her comment actually makes him laugh. "Ana, I'm your best friend. I'm not kidnapping you! I'm keeping you from killing yourself in that god-damned car!"
Anastasia finally relaxes and quits fighting. "Can't you just take me home?"
"No."
She turns in his arms and looks up at him. "Christian…?" She wants to beg, but she's exhausted. She's hurt and confused.
"You'll stay with me."
Her head drops to his chest and she cries into it. He's warm, but it isn't inviting; she's too hot from fighting him. He smells like Christian, but with a hint of Chanel mixed in, making what she just witnessed play in her head again. No comfort can come from a mixture of him and another woman.
"You reek." She pulls her head off of him and he allows her to take a step back.
He pulls his shirt up to his nose and smelling the faint perfume, he pulls his t-shirt off. "I'm sorry, Ana."
She sniffles and wipes at her nose. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Christian gives Anastasia an incredulous look. "If I haven't done anything wrong, then why are you so upset?"
"I…" She pushes her hair away from her face. "I don't know. It must just be the hormones." As the elevator doors open she steps into his apartment and goes straight to the hall bathroom to clean up.
Christian waits outside of it, worried she's going to try to make a break for it. When she reappears, he puts an arm around her and escorts her towards his bedroom.
"Taylor, retrieve Anastasia's things out of her vehicle." Christian states, seeing Taylor standing in the kitchen on their way to the room.
"Yes, sir."
Once they're in his bedroom, he shuts the door behind them.
"Ana, tell me what's going on."
She turns away from him, her arms wrapped around herself. "I don't know, Christian. Everything is so fucked up."
"What does that mean?"
"It means…" She turns toward him. "It means I knew this donor thing was a bad idea."
"What?"
"I came here tonight to tell you that the doctor said I'm ready for my trigger shot. I'm supposed to take it tomorrow afternoon."
A smile forms on his face. "Really? Oh, Ana, that's great!" He takes a step toward her to hug her, but she steps away.
"No, it isn't."
"What? Why?"
"Because...I...I don't think that you being the donor is a good idea anymore."
His heart drops into his stomach. "No...No, Ana, no. You promised. We sealed it! I'm sorry I fucked up! If you'd just listen to why-"
"No, I don't want to hear why. You didn't do anything wrong, you really didn't. We aren't together, Christian. You don't need to explain why you want to fuck some girl. Tonight just reminded me how difficult this is going to be...
"I knew our friendship was going to be fragile because of this, but I never thought about how I'd feel about you being with other women. I'm stuck being pregnant and single, because no man in their right mind would want to be with a woman who's pregnant with someone else's baby! Especially when they find out it's yours! And you get to go along, unaffected by it while you fuck every woman you can get your hands on!"
"Ana!"
"I'm not finished!" Anastasia barks at him and his mouth clicks shut.
"Then, when I have the baby, my whole life is going to be the baby. There won't be any time to date or get to know anyone new. My energy is going to go to the baby and I know that and I'm okay with that, but the thought of having to do this by myself while you run around doing whatever you please makes me resent you...and I don't want that.
"If you aren't my donor, then we can both move ahead like normal. You can do what you do with females and I can concentrate on my child, alone. I can't be angry with you or even a little jealous of the freedom you have. I'm already so emotionally invested in you and if I'm carrying your baby, it's just going to get worse. I'm not going to be able to bear seeing you with other women while I'm carrying a child that's half you and half me." Anastasia's lip trembles and she collapses in his armchair by the windows. "I just can't. There needs to be a line in the sand for us and you being my donor is past that line."
"No, no, Ana. No. I fucked up. I started to realize that before you even came through the door." He kneels at her feet and rests his arms on her thighs, taking her hands. "Please don't take this baby away from me. Please. I want this baby so much. I want this baby with you. If you have to punish me, then punish me any other way, but this.
"I've been so sexually driven this past week that I felt like I was going crazy. Aubrey called and I just thought I could get a quick fuck in." Anastasia hisses and looks the other way, but he keeps going. "But when she got here and we started kissing, I wasn't turned on...I couldn't even get hard. I was trying, but I just couldn't. My body was rejecting her. Subconsciously, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I haven't had sex in such a long time, but it wasn't right. She wasn't what I wanted. I don't know what I wanted...but it wasn't her.
"Please...please, please, please don't use another donor. This will kill me, Ana." Christian swallows back the ball forming in the back of his throat and tears fill his eyes. "I need this just as much as you do. I swear to you that I will be here for you and our child 100%. I won't be with anyone else. I don't want to be. This is our journey and I want to dedicate all of my time and effort to you and the baby."
Anastasia snorts. "You're saying you're going to give up fucking women for your pregnant best friend?" She has a hard time believing it.
Christian sniffles and nods. "Yes, I am, Ana. This has made me change. I've realized I don't want casual encounters with random women. I want more than that. I want a family. This child has made me see that family life is so much better than the life I've been living. Hell, the baby isn't even here, yet, but I love them so much. I want to be a good father to the baby and a good partner and best friend to you. We're going to raise our baby together. I promise that I won't let anything get in the way. Especially another woman. Please, don't take this away from me."
Anastasia searches his eyes and reaches up to wipe away his tears. "Christian…" She doesn't know what to say or think.
"You know, the first thing she said to me tonight was that she missed me and when I asked her if she missed me or my body, she asked me if there was a difference."
"Oh, Christian…" She wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him to her. Her heart aches for her best friend.
"It bothered me, Ana. It bothered me more than I'd like to admit, but it made me realize that I couldn't continue on like this."
"You're beauty is so much more than skin deep, you know that, don't you?" She pulls back to look at him in the eye. "You are such a beautiful person, Christian. If she doesn't bother to know what's below the skin, then fuck her. She doesn't even deserve a good lay from you. You deserve better. You deserve someone who adores you and your work...who appreciates how hard you love your family and how soft your heart is for those who are suffering. Find someone who is in love with your brilliance and generosity...someone who won't take you for granted and who will build their life around you. You're the most incredible man I know and you deserve the most incredible woman." Someday, she'll make him see just how precious he is. She might have to knock some sense into him a few times, but she's determined to.
Christian searches her eyes. "Have my baby." He can't bother to think about life past this if he's denied this little miracle. If she truly thinks he's as wonderful as she says he is, then she can't say no.
She sighs and gives him a small smile. "Okay."
"Oh, thank fuck." He launches himself at her, knocking her back in the chair and hugs her fiercely. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He tells her over and over again, pressing his face into her neck.
She holds him to her, feeling a ton lighter than she had twenty minutes prior. "We're going to have a baby." She giggles as she says it out loud.
He pulls away enough to see her face. "What day do we go?"
"Tuesday."
"And then?"
She giggles again, enjoying his excitement. "Friday, I'll have two little embryos placed in my womb."
He laughs. "I can't wait. You'll come back here and rest. Doctor's orders, remember?"
Anastasia rolls her eyes. "I remember."
"Want to watch a movie?" Christian wants the memory of earlier erased from his memory.
"Sure."
He pulls her out of the chair and she slips her shoes and bra off before climbing into his bed beside him. She grabs the remote and turns on his television.
"What do you want to watch?"
Christian reaches over and pulls her back against him, spooning her. He buries his face in her neck and breathes deep, breathing her in. "Don't care."
"Can I be the big spoon?" She giggles as she asks, knowing his answer.
"Maybe later."
"Really?" She perks up.
"No."
Her body sags. "Fine. Twilight it is."
He groans at her choice.
A/N: I know that this chapter won't be a favorite for a lot of you, but it can't be all hearts and flowers all the time. Something had to happen for them to change their way of thinking.
Chapter 11 Teaser? Let me know.