Author's Note: This is a long chapter. Lots of information.

Mild trigger warning: We will see the night of Scorpius' conception, and Astoria's actions are very manipulative. I will add more detail to a note at the end if you're concerned. The whole memory of it is italicized within the chapter.

Hermione — December 2006

When the ball was over, Blaise took a Portkey from his pocket and held it out to me. Once I'd taken hold, he touched the tip of his wand to it, whisking us away to the very same hotel room we had stayed in the previous year. The sidelong glances and nosiness of the Malfoys had made me feel strange. Lucius and Narcissa were, by far, the most confusing, complex people I'd ever met in my life. I wished they would just leave me be — Draco was not in the picture anymore, and they had no reason to speak to me. Acting like I was doing something wrong by attending a function with Blaise was out of line.

Blaise pulled me close and lightly kissed my lips, coaxing my attention to him. "Tesoro, don't let them bother you. We don't have to speak with them ever again if you don't want to."

His lips felt foreign on mine, the memory of Draco polluting everything since his parents had haunted us for the majority of the night. Tentatively, I reciprocated the kisses, and his hands traveled the length of my back over and over again, soothing me. I stepped closer and placed one of my hands on his jaw and the other between us on his chest.

Breaking the kiss, he murmured, "You taste so sweet. How is that even possible?"

Looking up into his eyes — brown, not grey — I felt lost. I was terrified of being in this situation, in a hotel room with a man who wanted me. It had been such a long time, and I didn't know if it would be better to rush through everything or to take it slowly.

"I'm nervous," I admitted. "I don't know what I want, Blaise."

One arm pulled me flush against his body, tightly wrapping around my waist, and the other hand found its way into my hair, pulling it free of the style it had been twisted into. He tangled his fingers in my curls and kissed me more deeply, his tongue making its way into my mouth one gentle swipe at a time. We continued snogging this way for a few minutes, hands roaming from shoulders to hips to hair.

When we came up for air, he asked, "How does it feel when I kiss you, Hermione?"

Terrifying. Good. Bad. Different. Arousing. Like I'm all you'll ever need, and I know I can't give you all of me.

"Good. Different. A little scary," I settled on, trying to keep it simple.

He smiled down at me. "There is no pressure here. I just… I want to kiss you, and hold you, and we can take it as slow as you need to."

But I don't know if I'll ever be ready.

I nodded and leaned in to kiss him again. My hands moved to the fastenings of his dress robes and he pulled back, shocked. "Hermione…"

"I just want to touch you without ten different layers covering you. I'm not going to strip you naked, Blaise. I'm definitely not ready for that," I explained, and I heard my own voice shaking.

He shrugged the robes off, leaving him in a button-down shirt, a tie, and a pair of trousers. I grabbed the tie and pulled him back towards me. I felt his hand slide down my back, getting dangerously close to my backside. I was nervous, but I knew I had to try this with someone, and Blaise would never hurt me. I broke the kiss and looked up again.

"Touch me, Blaise. I'll stop you if I don't want you to," I whispered, and his hand moved lower, grabbing my arse.

Groaning, he started kissing me again. I felt him hardening against my stomach and something resembling arousal started coursing through my abdomen. It was a feeling that had been absent for over a year, and I wasn't prepared for it. Unlike with Draco, this was a slow burn, not the explosive breaking of tension after years.

The kissing continued, along with wandering hands and the occasional mouth moving from lips to neck to ear. Blaise's hands seemed to stay gripped on my hips or arse, not once venturing to my breasts. When we broke apart, we were panting, and I felt the desire that had been absent from my life for so long come to life inside me again. I wanted Blaise, wanted to take things further, but I knew I couldn't rush into it. This wasn't just a casual fling. Somewhere down the line, Blaise had developed serious feelings for me, and I didn't want to hurt him.

He looked down at me, his eyes dark with desire, and said, "We need to stop. I don't want this to be something we regret, Tesoro. I wouldn't be able to handle that."

I took a deep breath and stepped back from him. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to get so…"

"Heated?" Blaise answered, and I nodded. "You don't realise what you do to people, Hermione. Men especially. You're like the sun."

"The sun?"

"Yes. You're warm and you draw people in. But the closer you get to the sun, the hotter it gets. Before you know it, you're burning, and there's nothing you can do about it," he explained. "I love it. I love this feeling, love that you let me get closer to you, love that I can feel fire racing through my veins again."

I couldn't get enough air, panting and sucking in whatever I could. What Blaise had just said to me was… a lot. But it didn't make me feel uncomfortable or scared. It made me feel like everything I'd been telling myself for years was untrue. There were men out there — available, non-married men — who would be interested in taking a chance on me. I just had to let them get close enough.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I said, "I'm not really sure how to respond to that."

"You don't have to," he stated, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. "Now go get into those hideous pyjamas so I can stop thinking about ripping this gorgeous dress off of you."

I laughed and made my way into the bathroom, carrying my small handbag with me. I looked in the mirror and could see my cheeks were flushed, my lips were kiss-swollen, and my hair was a wreck from Blaise tugging at it. There was a faint love bite on the column of my throat. Remembering the last time I'd looked like this, guilt washed over me. The memory of Draco had surfaced, making me feel like I was being unfaithful. I took a deep breath and forcibly pushed him out of my mind. It didn't matter that I wanted to be intimate with someone else — I was single. I had been single for years. Draco had never really claimed me as anything but his mistress, and he was not my boyfriend or fiancé or husband.

He was nothing but a memory.

I magically unzipped my dress and stepped out of it before surveying my body. I was still a bit too thin, but I was getting better. Under my bra, my nipples were hard, and I smiled a bit. I could still do this. My body could be brought to life by a man other than Draco. When I pulled my knickers off, that statement was confirmed further. I had been so worried that no one else would ever make me feel this way, so the relief that washed over me was entirely welcome.

Pulling on the pyjamas, I felt content. This could turn into something real, if I let it. If I didn't pull back because of my unresolved feelings for Draco. Deep down, I knew I couldn't let him get in the way.

I deserve this. I deserve to have a man who will choose me — really choose me — and not just sneak around with me. I deserve to be happy and create my own family. I've earned it after all this time.

Looking in the mirror once more, I saw a confidence and determination that hadn't been there in a long time. More than a year. Maybe even more than a few years.

Draco, I love you, but you were no good for me. If you'd wanted me, really wanted me, you wouldn't have gone through with the wedding. Or you would've found a way to get divorced. You certainly wouldn't have carried on sleeping with both Astoria and me. I'm done now. I'm walking away, and I'm hoping this new thing, whatever it is, will be worth it.

The next morning, as we just lazed in the huge bed, Blaise asked me what I wanted to do. We would be spending most of the day in Italy; dinner at Harry's wasn't until later in the evening and Blaise wasn't going to visit his mother. Feeling brave, I turned over and kissed him passionately, wanting to find out if the desire I'd felt last night had been real. He pulled me close, rolling onto his side and hooking my leg over his hip. His hand roamed up the back of my shirt, stroking my bare skin. It felt amazing and I wiggled ever closer, ending up flush against his body.

Breaking the kiss, he said, "What are we doing here, Hermione?"

"We're spending Christmas morning in bed, kissing and exploring," I replied, moving my foot up and down his back.

Blaise sighed. "You do realise I want to shag you into this mattress, right? I think I wanted to last year."

My heart stopped for a moment. He'd wanted me for that long?

"I do realise that, but I don't think I'm ready. Do you want to stop?"

"Fuck no, Tesoro. I love kissing you and touching you, just don't be surprised if I, uh, can't hold back my excitement."

I smirked at him and leaned in for yet another kiss, not wanting to stop the torture for Blaise or for myself. I knew he wanted to have sex. When he ground his erection against the apex of my thighs, I was fairly certain I wanted to, as well, but I knew it was too soon.

We carried on this way for a bit, grinding and kissing and leaving little reminders of where we'd been across each other's skin. It was wonderful, feeling his hands on me, worshipping me. He touched me almost reverently, like he couldn't believe I was allowing him to. And, as our kisses grew more sensual, my hands started wandering his body, too.

Deep down, I knew we probably should have been talking about our relationship, but I didn't want to stop touching him. I wanted to go with the flow and do what felt right in the moment. Talking would only complicate things between us, and I really didn't need that. For right now, I needed to feel the lust and experience the more superficial parts of a relationship. We already knew each other well and had a solid friendship as a foundation, so it felt right to focus on what was actually new.

Later that day, we walked alongside the main canal but, unlike last year, it wasn't so sad. Blaise held my hand, our fingers laced together and our arms swinging gently between us. This simple gesture, the small bit of contact, kept me grounded. There were both locals and tourists out strolling, and the weather was surprisingly mild.

"Are you hungry, Tesoro?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, not yet. Let's walk a bit more and then we'll get some lunch."

"Do you want to go to St. Mark's Square? Or shall we carry on to the Rialto Bridge?"

I smiled up at him and squeezed his hand in mine. "Wherever you want to go is fine, Blaise. I'm just enjoying the day."

Blaise pulled me off to the side, pressing me against a building. He planted a slow, sweet kiss on my lips, and I savoured it. This kiss didn't scare me like our first had or fill me with lust like the ones last night and this morning had. No, this one was different — it filled me with a warmth I'd somehow forgotten about. It wasn't quite lust or love, but it was something important, the beginning of something real. When his tongue swiped against my lips, I tentatively opened my mouth, allowing him entry. After a few moments, we were interrupted.

"Doomed! This whole relationship is doomed!" A tiny old woman who bore a striking resemblance to Professor Trelawney cried out, pointing a gnarled finger in our direction. "I've Seen it!"

The woman stepped closer, and I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Grazie, Signora," Blaise snapped. "We're fine here."

"You're not! She will break you," the woman replied, and I felt my heart squeeze. "She will fall in love with another, and you will be left to watch it all unfold again!"

Blaise visibly stiffened, likely feeling the same way I did.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him away. "You're a wicked woman!" she shouted as we retreated. "He's one of the good ones!"

Was this crazy old bat a real Seer? What did she know?

Blaise held my hand, though it felt a bit different now than it had earlier. I pulled him into an alcove and faced him. "That was scary, right?" I asked.

He let out a sigh. "She just voiced all of my worst fears, Hermione. I don't mean to act differently, but I'm terrified this—" he gestured between us "—won't work out. Now that I've kissed you…"

"I didn't go into this with the aim of it not working out, Blaise. I'm scared I'll hurt you, too. I'm going to try my hardest not to," I answered, hoping that we weren't simply going to end at the very beginning.

And, since it was the very beginning, why was I so afraid of losing him already?

"I know, Tesoro," he began, taking me in his arms and stroking a hand over my hair. "But I need one thing from you."

"Anything," I answered. "Anything you want, Blaise."

Letting out a sigh, he said, "If he ever finds out about the Obliviation, you can't just immediately give up on us. I don't think you'll leave me unless Draco wants you back. So, if it happens, please, I'm begging you — make sure you think about it before you make a decision."

"I wouldn't just give up on you! I've thought about this very seriously. But honestly, I haven't seen him since it happened, Blaise. How would he ever find out?"

"Lucius," he stated. "He feels guilty, which you know. He only seems to be getting worse over time."

If Lucius tells Draco the truth, I swear to Merlin, I will Avada him. If he caused us all this much pain for no reason at all…

I squeezed him tighter. "I doubt that will happen, Blaise. Plus, you know Draco. If he finds out, he's going to—"

"Completely destroy everyone who knew about it or was involved in it," Blaise interrupted. "And what do you think he'll do when he finds out we're together, Hermione? He'll think I encouraged you to do it so I could have you to myself."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Let's not worry about that right now, Blaise. I sincerely doubt that Draco will ever find out about the Obliviation. Can we just… be happy? Can we pretend we never saw that old woman and get back to enjoying our holiday?"

Blaise kissed me softly. "I like the way you think, love."

Love. He called me love.

I kissed back, still enjoying the feeling of whatever this was — this new relationship — the transition from friend to boyfriend feeling easier this time around than it had with Ron.

We found a small restaurant and got a table. We were both in casual clothing, jumpers and dark jeans, and we looked like a typical Muggle couple. My hand rested on the table and Blaise reached across to grab it, pulling it into the centre of the table and covering it with his own. I smiled at him shyly, unused to these public displays. While Draco and I had been free to partake in these simple touches in other countries, we were usually overly cautious, just in case a reporter managed to recognise us. In public, we appeared to be just friends, or coworkers, or anything but lovers, really.

Slowly savouring our meal, we chatted about everything — the war, our families, our friends. I told him about James's latest favorite books and foods, about Sev's upcoming first birthday party.

"Yes, I was invited to the party," Blaise began. "Do you think… Should we go, you know, together?"

I laughed. "Blaise, it's a child's birthday party. I don't really think it would be the ideal place for a date."

"Okay, but are you open to going on a date after the party?" he asked.

"Aren't we on a date now?"

He shrugged. "I guess so. I meant in England. Would you be willing to go on a date with me back at home? Where people will see us and we'll likely be photographed for the Prophet?"

I considered his words, trying to figure out how I felt about the idea. "We went to the Ministry's Holiday Ball, Blaise. I know we were photographed there."

Narrowing his eyes at me, he said, "Hermione, you know for a fact that it's very different to be seen on a dinner date, or out and about in Diagon Alley, than it is to be photographed at a Ministry function together. Especially since we both work at the bloody Ministry."

I laughed and tried to reassure him I'd be fine going on a date with him. When I'd finally made myself clear, he just grinned at me and said he was actually looking forward to Sev's birthday now.

Before we took the Portkey back to England, Blaise made sure to kiss me soundly. We knew we'd have to keep our hands, and mouths, to ourselves at Grimmauld Place unless we wanted to face a barrage of questions, and I wasn't ready for that. Hell, if I couldn't bring myself to shag the man yet, I wasn't going to argue with our friends about whether or not this was a good idea.

"I'm going to want to do that all night," he said, leaning his forehead against mine. "I know we're waiting to tell everyone, but I'm going to miss kissing you. Especially since we're going to be in the same bloody house."

"I'm sure that Pansy will be on to us very soon," I laughed, bringing my hands to his cheeks. I tilted my face up and pecked his lips once more before asking, "Does this feel real to you?"

Blaise shook his head. "Not yet. It's only been a few days, Hermione. It won't be real for me until I'm sure you're here with me."

I'm trying. I'll get there. Please wait for me. I think this could really be something.

I hugged him as tightly as I could, and he dropped a kiss on the top of my head. "Happy Christmas, Hermione."

"Happy Christmas, Blaise."

With a teasing tone, he said, "I hope we're back here next year, and we finally get to shag in that damn hotel bed."

The Portkey glowed, but before it whisked us away, I replied, "Me too. I like this tradition we've started."

The words came so easily, and I just couldn't stop them. I really meant them. The look on his face was adorable, and I laughed as we were carried back to the Ministry of Magic.

Dear Draco,

It's hard to believe I started writing these letters a year ago. Things have changed so much, and it's all been for the better. As hard as it was, I think I needed everything to fall to pieces so I could rebuild myself. I had forgotten who I was without you, and I think I've finally figured it out again. I'm Hermione Granger — warrior, swot, independent woman. But I'm also Hermione Granger — friend, godmother, researcher. There are so many parts of me, and I can see them all now that I'm not completely tangled up in you. I got so lost for so long, but I think I'm finally on the right path.

And now I have to tell you something.

I'm with Blaise. We're together, in a relationship, he's my boyfriend… whatever. I've snogged him, but we've not had sex yet. He wants to wait, to make sure I'm feeling secure in the relationship. He knows that you and I were very complicated in this department, that we built our whole relationship around having sex especially, and he doesn't want to do that. I understand what he's saying, but I'm really, really having a hard time waiting.

If you remembered our history, I have no doubt you'd be at my door, begging me to let you in. Reminding me that I was yours, that I said I loved you. You did that once, you know. I'd tried to break things off with you and locked you out, and you stayed out there until I let you in. Our relationship really wasn't all that healthy sometimes when I truly think about it. But that's the thing, Draco. It was never really a true relationship, and I was never really yours. I couldn't be, because you had Astoria. You have her now. You're happy with her, according to your father.

I can't believe that it's been nearly fifteen months since I've seen you in person. Sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday. However, more often than not now, it feels like a lifetime ago. My post-war story has three distinct parts — before Draco, Draco, and after Draco. We're almost to a point where the time after you is equivalent to the time with you, and that's supposed to be the appropriate amount of time to mourn the loss of a relationship. I think I read that somewhere ridiculous like Witch Weekly.

Anyway, this will likely be my last entry. Like I've said before, it's time to get on with my life, and I can't do that if I spend hours writing to you every week. I need to focus on my career again and whatever this is with Blaise. It doesn't feel wrong, and I want it to be right. I want it to be right more than I can ever express because he's honestly been the one who's held me together when I really needed it. Plus, he meshes well with the family I've chosen for myself. Pansy has been practically begging me to give him a chance and Harry will be swayed by her opinion, I'm sure. Ron will definitely take some convincing — he told me I need a nice Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff bloke — but I've never listened to him, anyway. There's no point in starting now.

So, in a way, this is goodbye. I remember you, everything about you, but I can't keep holding on to you. You're gone. You've been gone for over a year, and I need to do this for me. I deserve to move on and be happy, even if what I did to you was really wrong. I still regret it, regardless of the way I feel about Blaise. I never should have been so cowardly. I should've just put my foot down and left you, but every time I did that it never lasted long.

I'll love you everyday, Draco, from now until the end of time. I hope your life is full of so much love and happy memories, ones that you will get to hold on to forever. I want that for both of us. While I'll always wish we could've had a life together, I don't fault anyone for it anymore. If I had a Time-Turner, I think I'd go back to the Leaky on the night of your stag party and make myself leave the pub. We would've avoided so much pain and heartache if I'd never stumbled to your room that night and, as much as I love you, we were never meant to be. That much was apparent from the time we met at age eleven.

Hermione xx

Astoria — December 2006

I stared at the society page of the Daily Prophet with wide eyes, not believing what I was seeing. Lucius and Narcissa were standing in a group with Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, and Hermione Granger. Blaise's arm was wrapped possessively around Hermione's waist, and it was easy to see that Lucius was perturbed by this seemingly new development. Below that photo, there was another of Blaise and Hermione leaving the ball together, their fingers entwined. She smiled up at him when he said something, and she looked happy. This was one development I had never expected. Why in the name of Merlin would she take up with Draco's best friend?

It was Christmas Day and I'd had a pleasant enough morning. Draco and I had made love before Scorpius had woken, and I'd begged him to let me forego the contraceptive. I wanted another child, another tie to bind him to me forever. I wanted to give him a family — a big family — one he would always choose. Despite the love I thought I felt forming between us, I was still very worried that he would eventually run into Hermione and choose her all over again.

And if she was with Blaise, she would be in our orbit. Whenever we went to a function or even hosted one, she would be invited, and it seemed like Lucius and Narcissa were friendly with her now. As long as she wouldn't be the one birthing the heir, she was probably a suitable companion. With a sigh, I set the paper down, still staring at the way she looked on Blaise's arm. Her gown was lovely, the golden lace shimmering, reminding me again that she really was just that — the Golden Girl, the Brightest Witch.

I had won in the end, so I didn't know why I still felt this sickening jealousy. When I looked at Hermione Granger, I should be happy. She was the kind of witch I would want my daughter to be if I had one. She was fierce and hardworking, the furthest thing from a spoiled pureblood princess. But when I looked at her, all I could see was my husband's ideal woman, the one I could never quite measure up to. Yes, I was likely considered more classically beautiful than her, but she was the grand prize in this new society.

Draco walked into the room with Scorpius and set him down in his highchair before heading over to the godforsaken Muggle coffee pot that sat on our counter. I'd already brewed the foul drink, so he poured himself a cup. When he sat down beside me, his eyes immediately darted to the paper.

"I see my mother and father were busy schmoozing last night," he remarked, and I waited for him to notice whose arm Hermione Granger was on. A split second later… "Is that Blaise with Granger again?"

"It is," I said. "It looks like they're a couple now. I wonder if they're well-suited."

Draco scoffed. "Of course they're not, Astoria. She's Hermione fucking Granger. Do you really think Blaise is smart enough for her?"

Just the same as he's ever been… No one is ever good enough for her.

"Actually, I do. They work together in the DMLE, after all. He had the same job that you did, Draco."

Draco grabbed the paper and examined the photos closely, a faraway look in his eyes. "They look happy together," he observed. "She's smiling a lot, even while talking to my parents. I'm sure that wasn't an easy conversation for her."

Oh, if you only knew…

"It can't have been," I agreed, hoping to end the conversation more quickly.

Scorpius started banging his tiny fists on the highchair tray, pulling Draco's focus away from the newspaper. When he placed it back on the table, I grabbed it, taking it away. I couldn't watch him stare at her again. For the millionth time since we'd married nearly three years ago, I wished I knew Legilimency so I could read his thoughts.

Draco summoned the house-elf to bring breakfast from the Manor kitchens and our day continued. I hoped he would soon forget he'd even seen the photos of his parents with Blaise and Hermione. I'm sure his mind was racing and trying to remember things that simply weren't there anymore.

Before long, he'd likely grow frustrated and move on like he always did.

We exchanged gifts and then got ready to head to the Manor. Draco took me in the shower, brutally shagging me into the tiled wall with passion I'd never really felt from him before, and I found myself wondering if he was thinking of her while he was deep inside me.

I really hoped not, though I could see them shagging like this in my mind. I was sure the first time was like this, like an argument, loud and passionate and screaming themselves hoarse. After a decade of tension and fighting a war on opposite sides, it couldn't have been the slow, sweet kind of sex.

When Draco was close to orgasm, he tried to grip my arse but I didn't have much to speak of back there, always leaning more towards willowy than curvy. He groaned and said, "Have you come, Astoria? I'm close."

I hadn't, but I also knew there was no chance of it for me. Not while my mind was spiraling, fixated on the thought of how he'd first fucked her. And so I lied, telling him that yes, I'd come. It had just been the quiet, rolling kind of orgasm rather than the screaming explosion he usually pulled from me. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me as he came, sucking hard on my lower lip and his fingers pressing bruises into my hips.

When we arrived at the Manor, Lucius and Narcissa were waiting in the entrance hall. Draco was carrying Scorpius and being kicked unceremoniously. Placing the baby on the floor, he said, "Look at what he can do."

Scorpius rose on shaky legs and took a few steps towards his grandparents, and Narcissa squealed. "Oh, Draco, he's walking!"

She dropped to the floor, kneeling in the most unladylike way to be on Scorpius's level. I saw Draco looking at her with a perplexed look on his face, likely wondering if his mother had ever done this when he was a child. Narcissa was smiling widely by the time her grandson reached her. Hugging him close, she looked so young again, like Scorpius could be her son.

Of course, everyone knew Narcissa had lied to Voldemort to try to find Draco during the Battle of Hogwarts. Her love for her son was nearly legendary at this point, and Scorpius was the spitting image of Draco.

"Astoria. Draco," Lucius greeted. "Happy Christmas."

Draco nodded. "Thank you, Father. Likewise."

Stiff as always, the eldest Malfoy man informed me that my parents had owled to say they'd be late since they were spending the first half of the day with Daphne and her family. This was, unfortunately, the way of the purebloods. The wives spent the holidays with their husband's family. I nearly felt jealous of Pansy Parkinson for having the freedom to do what she liked since she'd married Harry Potter.

No, the rest of my holidays would be spent at Malfoy Manor. When I looked over at Draco, he was watching me carefully. I knew I'd been lost in my thoughts a lot today, and he was likely noticing.

"Are you okay, Stori?"

I will be. I will be fine as long as I have you. Even if I hate this bloody Manor, your father, Hermione fucking Granger… I will be fine if you and Scorpius are with me.

I gave him a weak smile. "I'm just tired, Draco. It's been a wonderful holiday so far."

Moving to my side, he looped an arm around my shoulder, holding me close so he could lean down and kiss my temple. "I'll let you sleep tonight then," he whispered in my ear. "I didn't mean to keep you up so late celebrating Scorp's first Christmas."

I genuinely laughed, letting him believe that was the truth, when in fact I'd been up far later than that wondering about the holiday ball Lucius had forbade me from attending.

"Well, thank you for the offer, but you don't have to do that if you don't want to," I teased.

Walking down the hallway towards the main sitting room, where the elegantly decorated Christmas tree was located, he pinched my side, and I found myself relaxing.

I let myself hope that playful banter and the promise of more sex was certainly a reason to believe things were really okay between us.

Before the end of the night, Lucius pulled me into his study under the guise of asking about my plans for Scorpius's first birthday. Draco had started to follow me but I waved him away, telling him to make sure Scorpius was changed and ready to head home. I knew Lucius would be talking about her — she was the only topic we ever discussed on our own and he had given me a pointed look.

"You saw the Prophet this morning, yes?" he asked, not even pretending he really wanted to know about the birthday party.

Glaring at him, I answered, "How could I have missed it? You two were standing there with her and Blaise like it was nothing!"

"Keep your voice down," he scolded. "It was nothing, Astoria. We went over to say hello and the Potters joined us. It's not like we were inviting them to Christmas tea!"

"So are they together now?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my abdomen.

Lucius nodded. "They wouldn't give a straight answer, but I think so. They were very comfortable together and apparently left for Venice after the ball."

My fears confirmed, I felt tears welling in my eyes.

"So she's going to be around then?" I asked, praying Lucius would say he wouldn't allow her to come to the Manor or to any of the functions we were involved in. However, I knew that would never be the case — the Malfoys couldn't be seen blacklisting a Muggle-born war heroine.

"It appears so, though it's not like Blaise has been spending much time here since the Obliviation. He's been too busy chasing Draco's leftovers," he said with disgust. "Honestly, it's like he has no manners at all, going after the woman his best friend was in love with."

I sucked in a loud breath, his words wounding me, even if I'd already known.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Astoria. It's not like you were unaware. I'm guessing you even had your suspicions he was interested in someone else before you married," he hissed, and I could tell he'd been drinking. His attitude was always much more antagonistic when he was drunk. "And I'm sure it was fairly obvious when you found out about the eighteen months he was shagging her behind your back!"

I felt the tears escape and quickly brushed them away. "Obviously I know, Lucius! Do you think this is easy for me? I don't want her around again. We're just starting to be a proper couple, and if she's turning up everywhere—"

"It's not like we're going to start inviting them for weekly dinners, Astoria. You'll see them from time to time at functions. They're not working together or anything like that again. I don't think you have much to worry about as long as you keep spreading your pretty little thighs for him. Maybe you should take another fertility potion," he snarled.

What a right foul bastard! Who speaks to his own family this way?

Channeling Draco's dream woman, I stood as straight as possible and met Lucius's eyes. "That potion, what I did… it gave you your grandson. Your precious pureblood Malfoy heir. If Draco does stray again, I won't stay with him, Lucius. I won't be an afterthought ever again. Be grateful that I've already ensured the continuation of your clean bloodline."

With that statement, I spun and walked out of the room, leaving my father-in-law gaping at my back. I nearly ran into the small washroom and started cleaning up, trying to hide my obvious upset before I reached Scorpius and Draco.

I thought back to the night Scorpius was conceived, my body flooding with the embarrassment and desperation I'd felt then.

Since the moment we'd taken our seat at the restaurant, Draco had been twitchy, constantly checking his watch and hardly speaking to me. When he'd arrived home from work, I'd been dressed and ready to go out. He smiled at me half-heartedly and told me I looked beautiful as always, but he showed no enthusiasm for our date.

I knew why, of course. He was rarely home on Friday nights, preferring to spend the better part of the weekend in bed with his mistress. The Golden Trollop, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Ignored. It was obvious that he was itching to get to her, that he was planning on spending the night in her bed, not mine.

With every glance at his watch, my resolve grew. I'd had the fertility potion in my stores for two months, and tonight would be the perfect time to use it. If he wouldn't stop sleeping with her for me, he'd do it for an heir, to keep his family together.

It would be easy to get pregnant if I could convince him to join me in bed.

A plan started to form in my head — Merlin knew the conversation wasn't holding my full attention — and I knew what I'd do as soon as we entered our house.

"Wait for me," I said, batting my eyelashes at him. "I got you a gift, but I want you to open it here."

Draco looked wary. "That wasn't necessary, Astoria."

I smiled. "Just wait here. Don't get undressed or anything."

Moving into our en suite bathroom, I quickly removed my dress and swallowed the potion. I'd worn sexy enough undergarments — a white lace bra and matching knickers — and they seemed fitting for a wedding anniversary shagfest. I thought of our honeymoon, of the way he touched me before she started spreading her legs for him. My skin flushed and my nipples pulled tight.

As I ran a hand over my flat stomach, I smiled, feeling the tiny pinches of pain that signalled I was likely ovulating. I prayed to Merlin I didn't end up pregnant with multiples, but if I did, I'd find a way to live with it.

When I walked back into the bedroom, his eyes widened, taking in my nearly nude form. I knew I had a body that most witches envied, that I caught admiring glances from other wizards, but Draco was the one person whose eyes I wanted on me.

And he never looked.

"Draco, I want you to come to bed with me," I said, closing the gap between us. "I need you."

He tried to step back, but I grabbed his tie, holding him in place. "Astoria, I—"

"No," I interrupted, stopping him. "You are not going back to work tonight. You're not leaving me alone on our anniversary night."

His throat bobbed. "I have to. I need to—"

Shaking my head, I said, "Go owl Potter and tell him to get off his arse, Draco. Or Blaise. Or anyone. We haven't had sex in over six months."

"It hasn't been that long," he replied. "There's no way—"

"August. My birthday. That was the last time."

He paled. "I really… I can't—"

"You can. And you will. I don't deserve to come second," I told him. "As a matter of fact, I have every intention of coming first tonight."

An internal struggle was taking place behind his eyes, but he finally nodded, relenting.

"I didn't realise it had been so long. I'm so sorry, Astoria. I just need to send an owl," he said quietly, guilt and remorse filling his eyes. "I'll be right back, and we'll have the whole night together. I've… missed you."

As I wiped my eyes, I looked in the mirror and tried to forget how he'd looked at me that night. Pity and remorse and pain in his eyes. I'd manipulated him into fucking me multiple times, and I'd gotten pregnant, achieving part of my goal. But then he hadn't chosen us — Scorpius and me. He'd kept sleeping with her, spending all his free time with her.

Thinking of how we'd spent our day, I calmed a bit. Even if he had looked at her in the paper or if she'd be coming around again, he wanted me now. We had a bond that hadn't been present before. If he was attracted to her, that was fine. I understood that it would never really go away.

I just hoped he wouldn't act on it since he felt some sense of love and loyalty to me now.

Gathering the last bit of my courage, I walked out and said my goodbyes, pointedly ignoring Lucius and grabbing Draco's hand as we stepped into the Floo.

When we got home, we settled Scorpius into his cot and headed for our bedroom. I took my time in the bathroom, brushing my hair out and changing into a long satin nightgown. As I looked at myself in the mirror again, I made a decision. I would either be enough, or I wouldn't. I wouldn't force Draco into having another child, especially since his father apparently looked down on me for doing it the first time. Honestly, it had been a desperate attempt to save my marriage — a marriage Draco had never been happy in. If I was honest with myself, I hadn't been happy, either.

Am I happy now? Was it all worth it? I love my son. I love my husband and it seems like he loves me now, even if our relationship is all built on lies. Scorpius makes everything worth it and Draco, if he stays indefinitely, he's worth it, too. I can live with these doubts. I can live with Lucius blaming everything on me, as long as I have them.

When I exited the bathroom, Draco stood from the bed and took me into his arms, kissing me passionately. I savoured it, holding on to him as tightly as I could.

Please don't fall in love with her if you start seeing her around again. Please don't leave me.

Trigger Warning: Astoria takes a fertility potion and essentially manipulates/guilts Draco into having sex with her since they hadn't in over six months. I am not labeling this as non-con/dub-con because Draco still has the power to say no if he really wants to. The scene is brief, and the smut is not shown.

Okay. I'm ready. Let's hear it. lol

Thank you all so much for reading - your comments and messages brighten my day, even when you're mad at me.