A/N: Before starting, I want to give a shout-out to Melissa Spence, who took the time out to iron out a lot of the details in this chapter with me. It really helped me get over the hurdle I was stuck on and get me moving.
It has only been three days since Anastasia has taken the pregnancy test and already, Christian is driving her crazy. An hour after she took it, he tried to keep her from going to work, saying that she should wait until she had her first ultrasound. If Anastasia would have been able to have the ultrasound that day, it wouldn't have been that big of deal, but since Dr. Greene doesn't want her to have one until she's six weeks along, it caused them to fight. According to her IVF calculator, she's just now four weeks pregnant, which means she won't have her first ultrasound for two weeks. There is absolutely no way she was going to agree to stay home for an additional two weeks. Eventually, they talked it through and they both ended up making it to work on Friday...although they were two hours late.
Christian then popped up twice at work on Friday, making sure she was snacking and eating properly, worried that she might starve the baby. Anastasia couldn't help, but take a little offense to Christian's accusations. He spent all of Saturday coddling her and trying to keep her in bed while trying to get her to eat more than she's used to, then refused to leave that night and stayed over.
By Sunday, Anastasia is thankful that Christian has his family dinner so she can breathe a little. Unfortunately, it's short lived because he announces that he called his mother and told her that he isn't feeling well and won't be able to make it.
As Anastasia sits in bed, trying to dig deep to find more patience, Christian brings her another bottle of water.
She takes it from him and sighs. "Christian, why don't you go to your family dinner tonight? I'm sure they miss you." She hasn't gotten one second to herself. She really needs some time alone.
Christian shakes his head and has a seat next to her on the bed that he's keeping her prisoner in. "It'd be too hard not to tell them." Both of them agreed to wait until she went to the doctor tomorrow morning to get her labwork done to verify her pregnancy. They don't want to get anyone's hopes up just to have to tell them it was a false positive. "Plus, I don't want to leave you alone in this condition."
Anastasia clenches her jaw. Her heart rate begins to rise and she can feel her frustration rising with it. "Christian, it is not a condition, I'm pregnant. Women get pregnant all the time and lead relatively normal lives while carrying the baby. I can do almost anything that I would have done before." Sure, she isn't going to be moving one-hundred pound filing cabinets to rearrange her office or lift boxes full of manuals, but there are other people at work that are more than capable of helping her. "All I'm going to be doing is relaxing tonight. Take a long, hot shower, make some hot chocolate, read...maybe watch a movie. Go see your family. Please."
His eyebrow raises. "You know, if I didn't know any better, it sounds as if you're trying to get rid of me, Ms. Steele."
She chews her lip and shrugs. "Well…"
"What the fuck, Ana?" Christian jumps out of bed, angry.
"Christian, please don't take offense to it. I just want some time alone. I haven't had a second alone since we found out. I just want to breathe and enjoy some time alone in my apartment before I go back to work for the week."
"I can't believe this." He pulls at his hair, frustrated. "I've spent every waking moment tending to your every need, Anastasia! You've been treated like a fucking queen for three damn days!"
"It's not that I don't appreciate it, Christian. I know you've put so much effort into me, but I'm feeling smothered. I just want some time to breathe. I'm a very independent person. I like my time alone, you know that. I just want a few hours to myself. It isn't your fault, beau. It's just my personality." She hates that he's so upset over this. "Christian, please...please don't be upset. Just have a seat next to me and we'll talk-"
"No."
Her eyebrows knit together. "No?"
"You heard me. No. There isn't anything else left to talk about. You're sick of me. You need some time alone. I'm smothering you." He grabs his shoes from the floor and his keys off the nightstand before making his way out of the room.
"Christian, please don't leave like this." Anastasia climbs out of bed to try to speak to him.
"You wanted me to leave, so I'm leaving, Ana."
"Please, don't leave, yet." She does her best not to cry in front of him. She doesn't want to act the victim when she caused this. She's offended him when all he's done is try to take care of her. "There's no need to overreact. We can talk this over."
"Overreact?" He snorts. "Do you know how many women would kill to have a man treat them the way I treat you? Fuck, Ana. We aren't even together! All I've done is make sure that you're comfortable and cared for, but you're still trying to push me away. I might be overreacting, but maybe it's because you refuse to commit to anyone or anything in your life besides your books."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
He licks his lips. "Maybe you can figure it out during all the time you're going to be spending by yourself." He opens the front door and slams it behind him, not even bothering to look back.
Anastasia stands there motionless, staring at the back of the door. She doesn't understand how this escalated so quickly. She knew that deep down, Christian was a sensitive soul, but she didn't expect him to react so harshly.
She turns and looks over her apartment.
"Well...you got what you wanted, Steele. Now what?" She lets out a frustrated growl and rubs her face. She feels terribly guilty over what happened. She should have just let him stay. She should have found some more patience and compassion for his situation.
She sighs.
She knows that he would never let up if she hadn't said anything, though. There's no way she could stand nine months of him hovering over her constantly. As much as she loves and adores her best friend, she can't take that much of anyone. She needs her time alone, away from everyone. It's her way to decompress and clear her mind. She'd go positively mental if she didn't have time to herself.
Deciding that she'll give him some time to cool off tonight, she heads for the shower to clean off the days events and try not to think about what just happened. She knows it isn't good for her to get so worked up so early in her pregnancy and she needs to do her best to keep herself calm.
During the evening, she manages to do everything she had planned, but can't help sneaking glances at her phone every once in awhile to see if Christian has sent her anything. She does her best not to play over what happened, but ends up crying herself to sleep anyway.
XxXxXx
Christian sits in his office first thing Monday morning, going over the days events with Andrea. His phone pings and when he looks at it, he sees that it's from Anastasia.
*Good morning, Christian. Lunch at 12:30? Hoping we can talk?*
He deletes the message and places his phone back on his desk.
"Andrea, if Ms. Steele comes to Grey House, I want you to tell her that I'm busy. No matter the time of day. Do you understand?"
Andrea looks a little taken aback by this statement. "Um, yes, sir. I can do that."
Christian is relieved that Andrea doesn't ask questions. She's the best PA he's ever had. He hopes that she stays for quite some time.
His morning is filled with meetings and phone calls from Anastasia-four to be exact-but he ignores each one of them. For a woman who wanted to be alone, she sure is blowing up his phone a lot.
At 11:30 am, his intercom buzzes.
"Yes, Andrea?"
"Ms. Steele came looking for you. I told her you were in a meeting with Ros."
His chest gives a small pang of hurt knowing that she was here and he missed her, but he's too hurt by her words to do anything, yet. He needs more time.
"Thank you, Andrea. I'm sorry you had to lie." He hates liars.
"It's alright, Mr. Grey. I'm going on lunch now. Would you like me to pick you up something from the deli across the street?"
Oh, yes. He's starving. "That'd be wonderful, Andrea."
As he sits there, he begins to wonder if she dropped by because of something that happened at her doctor's appointment. It was scheduled for 11:00 am, so it didn't last long. Surely, her presence had nothing to do with her appointment if she was in and out so quickly.
Still, he looks at his phone, hoping that she'll try to call or send him a text if it was something important.
Anastasia doesn't call...at least until that evening. He ignores her call. She doesn't leave a voicemail.
XxXxXx
On Tuesday, Anastasia tries Grey House again. How long can Christian hold this against her? They need to talk this out. This cannot be what breaks them.
Instead of stopping at Andrea first, she strides straight past her and heads towards Christian's office.
"Ms. Steele...Ms. Steele!" Andrea hops out of her chair to hurry after her. "Mr. Grey isn't available at the moment!"
Anastasia ignores her and tries his office door. Locked. "Damn it."
Andrea breathes a sigh of relief. "I told you he wasn't available."
"How am I supposed to apologize if he won't talk to me?!" Anastasia lets out a frustrated growl. Seeing Andrea's face, she immediately apologizes to her. "Oh, I'm sorry, Andrea. I don't mean to put you in the middle of all this. I promise I won't bother you again." Christian is a very private person and she knows that he wouldn't tell Andrea about their situation or why they're fighting.
Andrea stays in place while Anastasia makes her way back to the elevator. When the elevator closes, Christian's door opens.
"She gone?" Christian sticks his head out.
Andrea tries to keep herself from smiling. These two are ridiculous. "Yes, sir."
Looking her over, he sees her amused expression. "Something funny, Andrea?"
She licks her lips and giggles. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Grey, but I've never seen you hide from anyone before."
He sighs. "Yea...well, I'm not in the mood to deal with her bullshit right now. Get me lunch, please."
Before Andrea can respond, he shuts the door. Andrea lets out a frustrated sigh of her own. Children.
XxXxXx
As soon as Anastasia has a seat back at her desk at SIP, her phone begins to ring. She launches herself at her handbag, hoping it's Christian. Maybe Andrea told him she stopped by.
"I'm coming, I'm coming! Don't hang up!" She yells at her phone, digging through her handbag. "Just one second!"
Finally, she finds it and answers it without even looking at the caller, worried she'll miss the call.
"Hello?" She's breathless.
"Hello, Ana? It's Dr. Greene."
"Oh! Dr. Greene, hi! Do you have my labwork back, yet?" She leans back in her computer chair.
"Yes, Ana, and I think it would be best if you came back in today."
Anastasia's heart drops. "What? Wh-why?" Her chin trembles.
"Your HCG levels just aren't as high as I would expect them to be at this stage. I want to rerun your labwork and do an ultrasound...just to make sure everything is alright. I know it's early, but I'd rather be safe than sorry."
"Oh. Okay...when?"
"Can you come now?"
Anastasia chews her lip. "Yea, sure. I'll be there."
As she disconnects, she lets out a sob, but covers her mouth, stifling the sound. Swallowing hard, she shakes her head and clears her throat. Be strong, Steele.
Taking a deep, cleansing breath she calls Christian. He doesn't answer. Surprise, surprise.
XxXxXx
Christian sits in a meeting with his IT department, talking over the new security features for Grey House. His phone vibrates on the table and looking at it, he sees it's Anastasia. He hits the ignore button and urges his head of IT to continue.
A couple minutes later, it buzzes again. This time, he places it on his thigh, so that it doesn't continue to interrupt them. It stops, but buzzes once about a minute later.
A voicemail.
Anastasia hasn't left a voicemail, yet.
"Let's take a short break. I have some business I need to attend to."
The men stand to leave, but Christian stays put, wanting to listen to her voicemail before he heads back to his office.
"Christian, It's Ana...well, I guess you already know that. Listen...I got a call from Dr. Greene. She, um, she thinks it'd be best if I came back in to get my labs redone and do an ultrasound. I...I know you're upset with me...but, I was hoping that maybe you'd come? I know you didn't want to miss any of the ultrasound appointments and….I'm scared. Please, come. Hell, I know there's a chance you might not even listen to this. I fucked up. I know it. Just give me a chance to grovel. If...if you don't come, I guess I... I'll leave you a text after I see her. Bye."
His heart sinks to his stomach and tears spring quickly to his eyes. She sounds so defeated in her voicemail. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
He springs out of his chair, runs at full speed to his office to grab his things, and buzzes Taylor.
"Yes, sir?"
"Taylor! We need to go! I need you to take me to Dr. Greene's office!"
"Yes, sir. Meet me downstairs."
XxXxXx
Anastasia sits in the waiting room at the OBGYN's office. Dr. Greene shares an office with two other doctors and two nurse practitioners, making the waiting room rather full. It does nothing to help Anastasia's nerves.
She wrings her hands and looks at the clock. Five minutes. She's only been waiting five minutes, but it feels like an eternity. Christian isn't here, yet.
She knows she fucked up. She should have never brought up the subject in such a way. She knew that they had to talk it over at some point, but she could have been more careful with her approach.Of course he's hurt. He's been nothing, but incredible this whole time and she tells him that he's suffocating. She told him he could be as involved as he wanted with her pregnancy and the baby and then she does this. He must think that she used him...which she would never. She wants this baby with him...more than she'd care to admit. After going through all of this with him, she couldn't imagine carrying anyone else's. He deserves to be a father.
He hit below the belt with his last comment, though. Why did he have to leave it like that? What did he mean by it? She could commit...to the people she really loved. She's committed so much of her time, energy, and love to Christian. He's her best friend...he's been for eleven years. If that isn't commitment, then what is?
She picks at her fingernails.
Sure, she's never really had a long-term relationship with any man, but she's never really found the right one. She isn't willing to waste her time on a man that she knows isn't her more. She's tried. And tried. And fucking tried.
Maybe Christian's right. Maybe she does have commitment issues.
Hell, besides Christian, she can't name one person that she considers a friend besides maybe Mia and Elliot. She sunk all her time into Christian…well, Christian and her studies. Girls always hated her anyway and boys always seem to come and go...like a revolving door. There was always something wrong with them. She's built her life around him. Can't he see that? Can't he see how committed she really is to him?
"Where is she?!"
"Who, sir?"
Anastasia's head snaps up so quickly, that she thinks she gives herself whiplash.
"Christian?"
He spins around on his heel and hurries over to her from the receptionist's desk.
"Ana! Ana, are you okay? I've been worried sick! I've tried to call…"
"Service is terrible in here, Christian." The doctor's office is set up in a spot where it's surrounded mostly by hills and other buildings, making the reception inside almost non-existent.
He has a seat next to her and looks her over. "What's going on?"
Anastasia looks around the room, seeing everyone staring. When the other patients see her looking, most avert their gaze, many finding their lap suddenly very interesting.
She leans toward him a little to whisper and his smell hits her strong. Shit. He smells incredible. Her baby books weren't joking when they mentioned that her sense of smell would become more potent.
"Well?" He whispers, throwing his hands up. He's frustrated.
She shakes her head and tries to collect her thoughts. "Dr. Greene called and said that my HCG levels weren't as high as she'd expect to see at this point, so she wanted me to come for a repeat bloodwork and an ultrasound to make sure that everything is okay."
Christian slides down in his chair, slouching. "Oh, my god."
"Christian...listen, I'm sorry-"
He shakes his head and sits up. "Not now, love. We'll talk after. Let's just concentrate on this."
"But...I...um, okay." She doesn't want to upset him further right now. If he's willing to talk after, then she's willing to wait.
Instead, they both turn their attention to the news program on the television, but it doesn't make Anastasia feel any better. A child has been abducted, a sixty-five year old woman is missing from her house on the south side of Seattle, a police officer was shot overnight over a drug bust, there was a gang-rape behind a pub down on the water… the world they live in is so devastating.
Christian keeps his eye on Anastasia as she watches their city fall apart a little more. Seattle is actually a relatively safe city compared to others, but there are bad people no matter where a person goes.
Her hand sneaks up to rest on her stomach and he gives her a small smile and reaches over to rest his hand on hers.
"Don't worry, Ana. Our child will stay safe. We've got the means to keep them safe for a lifetime. I'll keep both of you safe." He would never let anything bad happen to them like it was done to him. It has been twenty-two years since he's been abused, but it still affects every fucking day of his life. He will never let his child go through anything so traumatic.
XxXxXx
"Since you're just barely pregnant, we won't see the baby, but I'll be able to see the gestational sac and your uterine walls, which is important. I want to make sure that the embryo is implanted correctly and in the right spot."
Anastasia lays there as she explains and tries her best not to cry, but she fails. Big, warm tears start to cascade down her face and Dr. Greene squeezes her hand.
"I know it's hard, but we don't know if anything is wrong, yet. We'll have the results of your bloodwork by the time we're finished here and we'll go from here. Because of your history, this is just a precautionary measure."
She sniffles and nods. "Okay."
Christian slides his chair closer to her and holds her hand. "Everything will be fine, Ana."
She squeezes his hand and releases a deep breath as Dr. Greene eases the ultrasound wand into her vagina to take a look.
"Okay...alright, good. This all looks good." She pulls the screen closer so that she can show Anastasia and Christian. "This gray looking area all over the screen is your uterus. This tiny black spot right here is the gestational sac. That's where the baby will grow. The baby is only the size of a poppyseed right now, but he or she will grow fast. The sac is in a good place and looks nice and snug against the wall of your uterus. Everything looks perfect." Dr. Greene gives Anastasia an encouraging smile and slips the wand back out of her.
Christian lets out the breath he was holding. "Thank fuck."
His comment makes Anastasia giggle. "I second that."
Dr. Greene grins as she takes off her gloves. "I third that." Stepping over to the sink, she washes her hands. "I'm going to check on the results for your labwork. Go ahead and get dressed, Ana."
Anastasia hurries to get dressed while Christian stands in the corner, his back to her. When she's finished, she steps over to him and wraps her arms around his waist from behind, inhaling his scent.
"I'm so sorry, Christian. It was wrong of me. I never meant to hurt you. These past two days have been awful. I love how attentive and affectionate you've become since we started this journey together...not that you weren't always attentive, but even more so, now. You really have treated me like a queen and it was wrong of me for saying what I did and how I did it."
He turns in her arms and holds her tightly against him. "Oh, Ana. I'm sorry for overreacting. You were right. I was just hurt. I felt like you took what you needed from me and now that you got what you wanted, you just wanted to be left alone. It was wrong of me to feel that way. I know you better than that."
She shakes her head. "I deserved that, Christian. It was terrible how I brought up the subject of space. It's not that I don't want you around. I do. I love seeing you and I love being with you. Sometimes, I just need time to myself to decompress every once in awhile."
"Yea, I guess I was stuck to you like a leech. I just wanted to spoil you."
Anastasia smiles. "I know, beau. And you do a wonderful job. I don't want this to ruin our relationship, Christian. We've got so many things to look forward to."
Christian smiles and ducks down to kiss her. "I promise to try not to suffocate you if you promise to let me see you every work day for lunch and come to every Sunday dinner."
Anastasia giggles. "That sounds like a wonderful compromise...but, I'd like to see you more than that?"
His eyes light up. "You would?"
She rolls her eyes. "Of course, I would. What about our dinner dates and movie nights?"
He nods. "Well, let's just try to go back to normal."
"Deal."
"With Sunday dinners."
"Deal."
"Every Sunday."
Anastasia giggles. "Yes, Christian. I get it."
"Good. Kiss on it."
There's a knock on the door and they pull away from each other as Dr. Greene comes through the door, carrying a manila folder.
"Well, good news, Anastasia. It looks like the first set of labwork must have been contaminated. Your HCG levels look perfect and so does everything else."
Christian lets out a sigh of relief and rubs Anastasia's back. "That's great."
"I'm sorry that I worried both of you. I just wanted to take the proper precautions in case."
Anastasia smiles. "I'd much rather be safe than sorry." In a weird way, this small scare brought Christian and her closer together and forced them to talk. Although she hopes that they don't have another scare like this again, there's a part of her that is thankful for the scare and thankful that that's all it was...a scare. Nothing more.
As they make their way out of the doctor's office, Anastasia slips her arm around Christian's waist. "Take me to lunch. It's your turn to pay. I want Chinese."
"So demanding." He throws his arm over her neck and pulls her against his side, pressing his lips to her hair. His stomach growls as they head toward her GMC, making Anastasia laugh.
"Maybe, but your stomach agrees with me."
"Only because you starved me. I had a nice lunch waiting for me on my desk after my meeting and I had to leave it behind to come rescue you from yourself. If I hadn't been so cool, calm, and collected-"
"Ha!"
He narrows his eyes at her as he opens the passenger's side door of her GMC for her.
"You came barging into the doctor's office and yelled at the receptionist! If you call that cool, calm, and collected, I'd hate to see what you're like in a true emergency!"
"My behavior was called for. You left me a devastatingly worrisome voicemail and I was beside myself. Considering the situation, I was positively cool. Now get your ass in the vehicle, lady."
Anastasia giggles as she climbs in, happy that they're back on track. "My rock."
"Damn right." He answers, reaching forward to buckle her in.