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Chapter Seven

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"Riddles in the dark."

Kato looked over at me, face wrinkled in confusion. "What?"

I stretched out in the grass. A single firefly crouched on the fence beside me, blinking its tale into the daylight.

"Could you imagine not being able to talk? Listening, but never being understood?"

"I can talk," said Kato. "You've always talked."

Which was true enough. Most of the ANBU hadn't been too keen on teaching him his basics. Big Sis had filled in a lot, especially with words whose meanings I had not known (if I had, he wouldn't know what "masochism" was. And neither would I).

Kato poked my arm. "Why don't you like Itachi-niisan?"

"What does Uchiha-san have to do with my volubility?"

"I asked you," groused my twin.

I watched the firefly until it flew away.

"Answer," Kato pushed again. "He's awesome."

Daddy's awesome! I wish he'd stay with us forever. Don't you think so?

I didn't want to think about forevers when life was so fragile.

"He's just . . . I don't know, observing. I don't have anything against him."

"That's what you do," Kato said. "That's why I call him Big Brother."

Eh?

Kato continued. "But you always give strangers a chance, and you didn't give him one."

"Did, too," I lied. And besides, that's not true. I didn't give Kakashi a chance for a long time.

Itachi knew that I acted older than the average child prodigy. He knew that I had a decent collection of riddles. If I were lucky . . . I was lucky. I'd leave the thought there.

Besides, Itachi was back from running errands.

Kato, hearing the front door open, rushed off to help Itachi unload groceries. A crow summon blinked its beady eyes and followed. (The Uchiha's flock of spies were beyond thorough.)

The iridescent black birds were pretty. They served their purpose and did it well. They didn't stop me from missing the largest crow, though. Pity that he was too big to fit in our yard. Or not—Itachi had summoned him when we'd visited a training ground, after I'd gotten Kato to join my begging. Kato had been pretty impressed. Shō took one look at the noisy midget and went for the kill.

I'd attempted a one-sealed Kawarimi while Kato froze. I had to save my brother. No matter if Shō wouldn't stop. No matter who saw what.

The Kawarimi failed.

Of course it did. I was young, inexperienced. I ought to have formed all of the hand seals, no matter how long that would have taken.

The moment Shō's beak seemed to close around Kato, the massive crow disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Itachi had saved my little brother with a cancelled summons. I owed Itachi a debt I'd made myself.

And that was just five minutes of the last month.

Come to think of it, if I based my loyalty to Konoha on obligation alone, just the calculations would take a good year.

Well. I didn't want to make calculations. Now that Kato was gone and only one bird remained on the fence, I had a bit of mostly alone time.

Mwahaha.

Itachi resumed his role of perfect caretaker when I didn't follow Kato inside.

"Wakana-chan, please come and help with the groceries. I bought salt-broiled saury for supper. Fukunaga-san told me you like it."

"That's only what Daddy tells her," Kato informed our Uchiha. "He says that because she gives us free samples to take home. Daddy eats them." He mulled over his words. "But we don't mind eating saury, Itachi-niisan. I don't know why she always does that."

"Ah, well, Fukunaga-san is an attractive young woman. She—"

Itachi stared at the specter in the doorway, an expression of dismayed horror painted everywhere but his face. His eyes narrowed. I smiled. "When did you do that," Itachi said.

Kato was confused. Itachi turned back to me. I could see hours of cleaning flashing through his vision. "Go back outside, Wakana-chan."

The picture of obedience, I—

"Wait. You may as well go straight to the bathroom."

I shrugged, launching clumps of mud.

"Take a bath," or you die.

To put things simply, I was determined to master Kawarimi. I'd spent the last few minutes practicing it, since the elusive henge was still my secret. I hadn't noticed that one of the training logs was buried in the dirt. It had been oozing water from a broken seal.

A lot of water. Itachi didn't have much time before our floors died a gruesome death.

Except that Daddy and the ANBU had pretty much established that our floors would outlast an apocalypse. Seriously. Half of the cleaning in our house was done by water jutsu.

Poor, long-suffering Itachi was not privy to that information yet. Kato wouldn't know enough to say anything. So I'd had plenty of time to continue my henging. Henging, henging, henging!

On the other hand. When I had finally visited the Hokage, he'd told me that I should have sacrificed my rook earlier. I've heard people complain about creepy old men. Those complaints never bothered me until I realized that Grandfather had been the one to tell Daddy I could talk. I could forgive that.

What I was not forgiving were comments on a game that even Kato suspected I had thrown. Since that game, I had been in a perpetual, unintentional losing streak with Shikamaru. Which stunk, but at least the Hokage hadn't seen me gamble my king in an attempt to save a pawn. Shikaku had, instead, and I would never forget the indignity as he laughed uproariously and asked if I actually knew the rules. Yoshino had promptly snapped at him for teasing me.

Yoshino and I were allies. If I helped to motivate Shika, she would bully Daddy into, say, buying an ice cream birthday cake. Oh, yes. We were allies for life. Whether this relationship was based on fear or not did not bear mentioning.

Anyway, Grandfather was a nosy old man. He'd probably already seen the henging. I bet he waits for Daddy to find out. He'll watch it all play out, too. The Hokage's reputation of never being surprised made a lot more sense when one remembered that the man's crystal ball gave him access to an entire village. I'm sure if I had access to an entire village . . . heh, heh. Great news! I've got my next birthday wish all planned out. While I'm at it, can I have the Fourth Hokage's teleportation jutsu?

"What use would you have for those?" Hiruzen would ask, shifting Konohamaru on his knee so that the toddler would stop drooling on important paperwork. "Besides, the Second Hokage invented that jutsu. Minato-kun really only personalized the seal."

"So could I personalize it, too?"

Hiruzen would stare at me thoughtfully. "I do not think your fighting style will include that particular aspect of the Second's legacy, my dear."

"Why not?"

"It simply doesn't fit, my dear. Besides, you don't actually know enough details beyond educated guessing, and legacies tend to go to their descendants."

"Well, excuse me for having an imagination. I don't know why I even imagined Konohamaru. I've met him once and all he does is cry."

The bath bubbles I was glaring at shifted slightly. "I know, right? His uncle should be back from a mission in a few minutes."

I sighed and resumed my pathetic attempts at changing my skin color.

Outside, Itachi scrubbed the floors. "You have not drowned, have you, Wakana-chan? You have been very quiet."

I am the epitome of reserve. "Do you want me to talk like Nao-san and never stop?"

A soft chuckle. "Who is Nao-san?"

Don't humor me, Uchiha. I don't want to like you.

"Nao-chan is one of the genin team that watches us," Kato explained helpfully, stealing the unwanted half of the conversation. "Saimaru-san said they're at the Chūnin Section Exams right now."

"Selection," Itachi corrected. "I did hear something about that. I believe your Nao-san made it into the finals, along with a Mozuku-san and Tobitake Tonbo-san. Tonbo-san was blinded in the preliminaries by a Mist genin."

"Is Mist bad?"

"No, but they sent a very strong team to the Exams. Most likely, they wished to show their power. Unfortunately, that only further reinforced the brutality of Kiri."

What was going on in the Hidden Mist? Why would their reputation suddenly matter (beyond the threats that parents used on disobedient children, that was)? Since when did sending only one genin team display power?

Also, how come Bato—the best on our genin team—hadn't made it to the finals? Mozuku and he were shoe-ins for chūnin. I couldn't vouch for their ninjutsu, but Bato's taijutsu was neat enough that Daddy had almost commented (technically, "I hope you enjoy replanting my garden" isn't applicable). Mozuku didn't have nearly the same level of taijutsu finesse, but he supplied the team's strategy. As in, once Mozuku had figured out the enemy's abilities, Saimaru handed over the leadership card.

Team Four had never failed a mission. They were also the only team to babysit us.

"Kana-chan says brutal is bad." I shivered.

"Kiri was not always brutal. There was a time when Kiri welcomed bloodline limits. At that time, power was the only way for a village to survive. Kiri took a risk and gained two of the Tailed Beasts—the Three- and Six-Tails. The new jinkchūrikis quickly became the most powerful ninjas in Kiri, able to turn nearly any battle in Kiri's favor. Kiri's most prestigious clans were brushed aside. The ninjas with bloodline limits, on the other hand, went under the direct control of the village.

"The clans revolted, murdering anyone who who stood in their way. Kiri defeated them, and then executed every clan member with a bloodline limit. The cycle repeated through the years, and now Kiri is a purely militaristic village."

Kato shuddered. "Do we have a bloodline limit?"

"I doubt it, Kato-kun. You should ask your father."

"When will Daddy get back?"

"I will be departing tomorrow, but I do not know when your father will return." I bet Itachi hoped he'd finish the floor before then. He hadn't gotten very far yet. . . .

"You're leaving?" Kato whined. "I want you to stay!"

"I will miss you as well," our caretaker replied. "Please understand that I, too, have a home and family that have not seen me recently." Pfft, as if his mother hadn't left rice balls on our front step every week. "Ninja must obey the Hokage's missions, Kato-kun."

"I don't care," wailed my twin. "Stay here anyway! Daddy will like you and you can be our big brother and—" I buried my head under the bubbles, wishing that my hands could stop the whining. The yelling. The screams.

Itachi shut Kato in our bedroom and came back. "I assume that that hurts your ears?" he asked quietly. I buried my fingers in my ears, blowing an underwater raspberry. "My apologies. When I asked you earlier not to manipulate your brother's temper, I did not imagine you might have a reason. However, I still prefer for you to abstain. He will not thank you once he figures it out."

That's rich, coming from you. But then, I guess that will come later, and it will be the only thing you can think of. I should feel sorry for you. I did, when I thought about it. I could cry myself to sleep about nearly everyone I knew.

Eventually, I changed into one of the outfits Itachi had placed under the sink and walked out of the bathroom. The bathroom was spotless. The path I had taken to the bathroom . . . the Uchiha was still working on it. I blinked. "Most of our babysitters use a water jutsu. Sometimes Daddy adds an earth jutsu to the dirt."

"I already tried water," Itachi said. "I do not know many earth jutsus. Would you happen to know the hand seals?"

"Um, the first two were Boar and Snake, I think."

"Did it result in a large quantity of mud on the floor?"

"Yes."

He flashed through a good dozen hand seals before spitting out a small landslide. "This is an imitation of quicklime." Perhaps if I tracked in more mud, I would see the last few hand seals. "Whatever you are thinking, please do not continue."

After Daddy returned, then. Itachi had been through enough for one day. "Daddy lets it dry."

The boy eyed the mess on the floor balefully. "We should eat supper in the meantime. Do you have a favorite meal?"

I smiled. "I like fruit."

"I bought dried persimmons."

He rescued a bag from one of the cupboards. The cupboards were now labelled by content, and the contact poison was neatly packed into storage scrolls. There were a few rice balls left over from lunch. Not for long, by the look on Itachi's face. "If your father does not return tomorrow, you can eat the saury for supper. Did the Hokage ever mention a location to you?"

I licked a finger. "Water Country."

"Hardly a surprise." He wiped his own fingers on a napkin. "Have you heard any of the rumors?"

"Bai dun lithen to doze." I swallowed. "They're boring."

"I thought you would be interested in those things," he mused, which was most certainly an accurate guess. "Regardless, many in Kiri do not enjoy being the Bloody Mist. They wish to create a Kiri that does not worship power, and by default, corruption." Thanks for the history lesson.

I leaned forward, eyes wide and searching. "Do you want power? Is that why you joined ANBU?"

I couldn't read him. That was it—that was why I had such a mixed reaction toward him. He was intelligence hidden behind a mask. The mask was not perfect, and that was exactly why I wanted to find the person behind it. Probably the same reason he interacted with me. . . .

"No," Itachi said. Well, duh. I already knew that.

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~Nii-san: respectful way of referring to an older brother or a similar male figure

~OOC: out of character

So, today is somewhat of an important day for this fic. Guess what day it was started? That's correct! In honor of this fact, I'm throwing a part—ahem, contest.

The subject is OOC Itachi. The rules are simple: leave an example of something Itachi would never, ever do or say in a review (or a PM, but I have an obvious preference). You may "enter" as many as you like. On Friday, June 13, I will put my favorite (likely five) ideas in a blind poll on my profile. Voting will end on Saturday, June 21 around noon EST. Unless there is a tie, the solitary winner will be notified by PM—unless a guest wins, in which case . . . you guys might want to specify your prize in the same review you'd use to enter, even if it seems presumptuous. Results will be left up for at least a few days.

The prize? A 600-2000 word one-shot/omake. This prize's ambiguous word count is supported and sustained by Silimaira's historically poor story length. Silimaira requests that content be limited to the story's current rating. Prize may be posted in this fic or in a separate one. Please note that while Silimaira has practically zero experience with crack, she is willing to try.

All entries (unless specified otherwise, which should be limited to the privacy of PM's) may be included in the future story as shout-outs and thank-you's to my wonderful, amazing reviewers. Because you guys are awesome.

Now, what use could I possibly have for OOC Itachi tidbits? You'll find out . . . and it won't be OOC.

To my numerous guest reviewers: you have no idea how badly I wish I could thank you guys in private. So, thank you! And Ripplefish . . . I'm floored. That's quite a bit to live up to.

Happy one-year anniversary! It's been a lovely dream. . . . :)

You may make as many entries as you like; voting opens on Friday the 13th. Good luck!

Editing for cohesiveness 2/16/21.