Reliability

By: Aviantei

2—Classroom

The clouds, almost arrogant, know no suffering.

Megumi made her way back to Classroom 1-A on autopilot, not really processing her surroundings. She could have just as easily run into several people on the stairs and not even noticed this time, except for the fact that every rational student was already in their class, ready for work to resume. Not even stragglers were present in the halls.

Once again, Megumi was some sort of outsider.

The realization of Yamada-sensei's full trick was more than enough to send Megumi into a state of shock. For a moment, the girl had been willing to let the counselor get close—not too close, but just a little bit closer than anyone else—to what Megumi's true thoughts were. The woman had responded by assigning an impossible task. Yamada-sensei was more devious than she looked, which was probably why Rakuzan had hired her in the first place.

What was I thinking, agreeing to that sort of thing? There's no way I can join a club. There's just no way!

Despite her inner panic, Megumi managed to keep calm on the outside. Maybe it was easier since there wasn't anyone in the hall to watch her. Regardless, she dug her nails into her palms, trying to steel her resolve. At the very least, even if joining a club was impossible, she could still try to stay strong. There was no need to be awkward simply for returning to her own classroom.

Megumi managed to make it into the door just seconds before the bell rang. Uchida-sensei looked up at her entrance, but didn't comment. Megumi bowed her head a bit in apology before moving on to her desk. The sooner she sat down, the sooner the lesson could start, and maybe nobody would realize that she had been called to the guidance counselor's office over lunch break.

Halfway there, though, she stopped. It was almost a joke. Sitting in the desk right in front of hers was the same boy from earlier—unless he had an identical twin that just so also happened to have heterochromia. Any theory that Megumi could conjure up within a few seconds was easily crushed by the fact that it was easiest that this boy and the one from before were, in fact, the same.

Th-this enigma's been in my class this whole time and I never noticed?! He even sits in front of me, too…

In some ways, there were definite disadvantages to not interacting with any of her peers. Those things had probably been in the background of the teacher's thoughts when they had decided that Megumi was a potential candidate for counseling. This particular scenario, however, was probably not one they had in mind. Megumi certainly had never considered it, either.

To make matters worse, he had noticed that she was staring at him. While the rest of the students had mildly interested looks on their faces—probably making up some rumor, which was enough of a strain on Megumi's nerves as it was—the red-haired boy was staring straight back at her, his eyes narrowed in some form of intimidation or irritation.

Even though there was no way for the boy to enforce such a request—no, command as the one he had made earlier, Megumi still tore her eyes away from him, instead staring out the classroom window. The normally reassuring blue was missing, obscured by trees and clouds. It had been a long time since Megumi had been able to physically feel her heartbeat without effort, and the sensation was almost as overwhelming as the boy that had caused it.

"Kaizuto-san, are you feeling alright?" Uchida-sensei asked, and Megumi forced her attention to the teacher. His expression was a mix of worry and expectation, as if a student of Rakuzan wasn't permitted to suddenly freeze up in the front of the classroom and prevent the lesson from even starting. "Do you need to go to the nurse's office?"

"Yes—No—Ah, that is," Megumi stammered. She slammed her mouth shut and inhaled deeply through her nose before even daring to say another word. "I just felt dizzy for a moment, Sensei. It passed, so I should be fine. Please begin the lesson." Securing her eyes to the tiles in the floor, Megumi shuffled as fast as she could without attracting any extra attention back to her desk. It took her a few moments to remember which notebook she needed to pull out, but soon she was just as ready as the rest of Class 1-A, if not several levels more frazzled.

Uchida gave Megumi an extra glance, then nodded. "Very well, but if you feel the need, don't hesitate to go lie down," he said. It was an almost half-hearted suggestion, and Megumi felt even less inclined to go lie down than before, despite it being what she really wanted. Uchida cleared his throat before turning to the chalkboard. "Now, as we were discussing last class…"

The familiar pattern of the lecture set in, and Megumi could feel some of her tension dissolving. Soon enough, the regular cycle of life would return, and her screw-up would fade away from everyone's memories. It could last a few days, but Megumi didn't think it would be more than that. The distance between her and her classmates would either make the subject stick longer or fade faster, depending on the people involved.

It was scary, though, just how easily the boy had been able to shatter her attempts. As she had told the counselor, Megumi had come to Rakuzan in hopes of starting over. While she wasn't exactly at the "be able to normally socialize" level she had hoped for, Megumi still felt like she had been doing better at holding herself together.

So all it takes is a few harsh words and a glare and I'm back to where I started, huh… Hardly even registering what Uchida was writing on the board, Megumi chewed at the end of her pencil, instead staring at the back of an impossibly red head of hair. I didn't notice this for two months straight? Even when it was right in front of me?

A mental sigh. Just as pathetic as always, huh?

Megumi didn't learn much in the purely academic sense the rest of the day, mainly because she was too busy picking up little details about the redhead in front of her. Her distraction of the lectures didn't worry her too much—part of the reason she got the grades she did was from her ability to teach herself material from the textbook. So long as she had the reference pages and kept track of her homework assignments, Megumi would be able to pick herself up and do just fine.

Besides, he was more interesting anyway, even if Megumi only learned minor things. For starters, his name was Akashi, almost like the gods had blessed him with a hair color to match his family legacy out of some practical joke. Beyond that, though, he was called upon several times throughout the course of their afternoon classes, and he always had the answer right. He had answered one of the math example problems without even working at the board. And to the decimal point at that!

There was always the chance that he was some sort of prodigy; the idea only served to make Megumi more impressed. Then again, maybe being a prodigy wasn't so unusual at a school like Rakuzan, but that didn't curb Megumi's excitement. There was something about having a tangible prodigy in front of her that was so much more alluring than probable ones in the peripheral.

The other part of her wasted time was spent on worrying about just what to do about her club dilemma. Like Yamada had said, it would probably be best to just go for it and pick a club to join and start out by going through the motions. The only problem was that, never having joined a club before, Megumi didn't even know where to start, let alone what sort of clubs Rakuzan had.

There was a strong chance most of her classmates would know. In fact, Megumi could say with almost complete certainty that she may have been the only freshman not to have already joined a group. Almost anyone of the others could probably tell her what to do, possibly even lend a helping hand, despite club recruitment season being over.

Of course, the problem with that plan was that Megumi didn't know how to talk to them, which was why she was trapped in this whole mess in the first place! Just intruding on someone she had never met before because Megumi was pathetic seemed rude, not to mention required enough guts to jump over an invisible social barrier that you couldn't tell just how high it was.

Yeah, Megumi was definitely lacking that.

It would have been different if there were someone that she had talked to, even more a moment beyond the usual pleasantries. There was always the chance of the class representatives, but in Megumi's mind the sense of "power" made the barrier even more difficult to pass. Even if it was on accident, though, Megumi just needed one sliver of connection to the rest of the student life world of Rakuzan High School.

It was probably the stress that made her take so long to figure it out. Megumi didn't need to forge an accident (which was even less likely than her approaching a stranger in the middle of a dark alley) because she had already had one. And while Akashi was more than intimidating to someone like her, Megumi would take whatever she could get ahold of.

And just like that, any time and money invested into the formal education of Kaizuto Megumi was instead sacrificed for the sake of mental preparation for contact outside of the small radius that served as Megumi's world.

"Stand," came the call of the class representative at the end of the day. "Bow." Megumi did the actions out of mechanical habit, her mind not really processing them. While the rest of the students went thanked the teacher for the lesson, she mouthed out the words she had planned to say, the closest she could get to rehearsing them. Once the final ritual of the school day was done, Class 1-A broke out into chatter, and Megumi took a deep breath before forcing herself to speak.

"Akashi-kun," she said, her voice managing to be steady, "I'm sorry about earlier. I was wondering if—" With a surely practiced precision, Akashi packed up his bag and left the room, not even acknowledging Megumi's attempts at speaking. He hadn't been even moving that fast, but there was such a smoothness to the action that he was gone before Megumi could even blink.

Putting a hand to her lips, Megumi replayed the scene in her head. She had definitely spoken loud enough for Akashi to hear her, there was no doubt about that. Even over the din of her classmates, she had accounted for any such interference. That left two options: either Akashi was simply too absorbed in thought to acknowledge her, or he was outright ignoring her.

Th-that's a bit harsh, isn't it? I mean, there's no way he could know, but I put all that hard work into trying to talk to him, and he just ignored it! And earlier, too… How did a first-year learn to be so rude?

In some ways, this defeat was almost a harder blow than Yamada-sensei's earlier deception. At least that had been an active manipulation. Combined with Akashi's earlier words, Megumi felt almost definite of her lack of a need to exist.

No, I can't think that! Megumi thought, trying to get a grip on herself again. She bit the inside of her cheek, the pain serving as shock enough to get her moving again. He probably has club activities or something important to do at home. And if it's the former, I can follow him and end up around other clubs. Even if my level of awkwardness, I should be able to talk to someone about joining if they start the conversation first.

Megumi rushed out of the classroom, leaving her bag and assignments behind. The school would still be open for a while, so she could come back and get them easily, aslong as she didn't dawdle too late. Looking around, Megumi was able to catch sight of the by now familiar red hair entering the stairwell on the opposite side of the hall. She navigated her way around the steadily growing output of students, making it to the stairs with just enough time to catch sight of Akashi on the floor down over the side railing.

What she was doing was crazy. Megumi could easily admit that. Beyond that revelation, she couldn't bring herself to stop, either. This was her first time doing something out of the ordinary that she didn't expect from herself since moving, and she wasn't about to let the energy she had disappear. She couldn't afford to wait another fifteen years to work up the courage to do something like this again!

Once she made it out the same exit Akashi had taken, Megumi slowed down. True there were still students here and there, but it was nothing compared to the traffic that was in the rest of the hallways. The last thing she needed was for Akashi to notice that she was following him. Sure, she could mention looking for a club to join since it was the truth, but that would probably fail to come out of her mouth just when she needed it. And no matter what, an encounter like that would most likely end in being on the receiving end of another of the boy's dual-colored glares.

Her heart couldn't take that much shock.

Megumi managed to keep her eyes on Akashi while looking over the area she was in. It was one of the several walkways that led to the gymnasium areas. That being said, her earlier hypothesis about him being in some sort of club was correct, and a sports club at that. Just to make sure, Megumi tailed the boy until he entered one of the gyms, then found a nearby bench that she could sit down on.

Even if she hadn't been running much, Megumi felt exhausted. Once she had stopped losing herself in the action, she realized that she had been hoping to engage Akashi in conversation, even if she hadn't had time to plan out any of the words again. As it was, though, she couldn't just walk into the gym and ask for a casual conversation, not while he had club duties. In addition, waiting outside of the gym until he was done could only get her labeled as a stalker.

"Yeah, I really did it now," she said. Leaning back on her palms, Megumi looked up to the sky. The clouds from earlier hadn't gone away, but at least they were still white. Between them were small patches of blue, and Megumi's eyes followed them as the clouds floated by, changing shapes. "Got myself all worked up over a dead end. Way to go."

At least fifteen minutes passed of Megumi sitting there, unsure of what to do. Several other students rushed by, either running past or heading into the same gym that Akashi had entered. They were probably heading towards their own club activities or friends, leading exactly the kind of lives that Megumi was supposed to find for herself.

"What a pain…"

She really shouldn't give up, though. A feeling nagged at her, telling her things she should have already known. If she didn't figure this thing out, she would be spending far too much time in Yamada-sensei's area, forced to talk about it. Really, even if her goal of talking to Akashi had failed, it was really only a means to learn about clubs on campus. That sort of legwork would be clearer if she just went straight to the source.

Megumi stood up, staring down the gymnasium door. No matter what sort of club was beyond that door, it would be best to look instead of guessing. On an off chance, it could be something she could join. Akashi wasn't a necessary presence to be in the club, but Megumi would feel better if there was someone she knew she could work up the courage to talk to was there.

After a minute of building herself up, she opened the door.

The impact of rubber colliding with the floor echoed from several areas in a mix of steady rhythms. Tennis shoes and whistles squeaked high notes into the air. Rims rattled and plays were called out, a mix of boys spread out amongst the large area of a Rakuzan gymnasium working themselves up into a sweat. There was no doubt that what she had just stumbled upon was the boys' basketball club.

Still, for something so simple, Megumi was stuck staring. Once, her middle school tennis team had made it to the nationals and the entire school had been sent on a field trip to watch. Megumi didn't know much about sports and had spent most of the trip running to the concession stand for extra drinks. Still, that had been a team setting their eyes on the national title, and the vibe they had given off had somehow stuck with her.

It was nothing compared to this.

The entire room gave off a sort of intensity that Megumi didn't know how to describe. It was too much, really, and eventually she had to force herself to let the door close. The sensation stopped, but Megumi had to place a hand on the nearby wall to keep standing, her legs almost shaking.

The sex barrier that prevented Megumi from joining the club didn't even matter. That sort of vibe was something Megumi would never be able to stand being around, let alone give off. In simple words, when it came to joining the same club as Akashi…

That's definitely out of the question.

It has come to my attention that I didn't actually post this when I said I would. it's been uploaded and edited, but not posted. Wonder how that happened.

Thanks to SilverSapphire34523, Twilight Dark Angel, bluexfire2, aniqa1234, Perempuan Penburu Bintang, mute-by-choice, stunningkrystal, Knbfan (Guest), and Kokoro-chizu chan, Bluegirl (guest), woofbot, YatohgamiKushina, and klockwork mirrorecho for your favorites, follows, and reviews! I'm glad to see this story get support since it's very dear to me. Again, sorry for the update confusion! I look forward to hearing from you guys again. :)

Review reply for Knbfan: I'm glad to hear Megumi's captured your interest! She's very important to me, and it's come a long way to this story's conception to its actualization! I hope you enjoy the rest of the journey.

And for Bluegirl: Glad to hear you're enjoying it. I always try my best to keep improving my skills. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story

Much like Visibility, this story has a rather slow introduction. But each step of Megumi's journey is important and I hope you guys can stick by and support her til the end.

The next chapter will release September 16. Please look forward to it!

3—Within Proximity

Sometimes, in the presence of night, the world doesn't look so different.

[POST] 082415