Thank you to everyone who read or left kudos on the last chapter. I adore you all. The hard stuff isn't over yet, and it's going to get worse. Sorry. Wait to we get to the Thanksgiving arc.
Warning: Detailed descriptions of past child abuse as well as sexual content.
I'm actually posting a slightly different version on A30 that's a little more explicit. I prefer to fade to black, but the characters do what they want.
Chapter 26: The art of letting go and moving forward
Midafternoon July 13, 1995 lava Springs, country club
Seven-year-old Kimberly Kim walked into the rehearsal space at Lava Springs because she was bored waiting for her dad to get out of his job interview. Kim wasn't expecting to find a scared five-year-old. Especially one that was terrified of her own mom and was too afraid to tell anybody. Part of Kim knew she shouldn't keep this a secret, but she wasn't sure what else to say to get Sharpay to stop crying. Although her promise really didn't help.
"My mommy is mean to me too." Kim told the crying five-year-old, holding onto her for dear life. At least this cause the tears to slow down a little bit.
"Does she hit you?" Sharpay asked. That may Kimberly sad and angry. Did Sharpay think that was normal? At least Kim knew that the way her mom treated her wasn't at all acceptable.
"She tried to a couple weeks ago, but my dad stopped her. He says that's his job as my daddy to protect me." Kim remembered that fight very well, even if she only understood the Mandarin part of the arguing. She never took Korean lessons, even though her dad wanted her to.
"I think that's why we moved to a new apartment." It was a lot smaller than their old house, but at least she didn't have to deal with her mom screaming at her all the time or her mandatory classes. "My dad is interviewing for a job with your dad. He doesn't work at grandpa's hotel anymore." That's the only reason why they were at the club today. Now that they didn't live with Zhēn anymore, her dad was no longer a club member.
"That must be nice. At least your father cares. Mommy says that daddy wouldn't believe me." Kim didn't actually believe that, but she didn't tell Sharpay that. Daddies always choose their kids, right?
XXXX
Midmorning November 8, 2008, Grand Beijing Gardens Hotel and Casino Las Vegas Nevada
Why did Kim believe that her family could have a civil brunch together in public? The family buffet brunch was going worse than dinner the night before. She didn't even think that was possible, considering Jack threw a dinner roll at her father. Yet here they were. If she thought they could get away with it, Kim, Troy, and Alex would sit at a completely different table from the fathers.
They couldn't stop arguing with each other. Kim was just grateful that they haven't resorted to throwing food again. Regardless everybody was staring at them. Jay went into another one of his rants. That made Kim think about her conversation with Troy between rounds two and three early this morning. It was amazing the amount of clarity you can have after a fantastic double orgasm.
"I don't remember your dad being like this. He was the protective parent who kept you away from your mom." Troy told her, as he held her close.
"Then I got pregnant, and I wasn't daddy's little girl anymore. It's been like this ever since I called him in tears about the positive pregnancy test." Kim said as she curled into Troy's naked body.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there with you for that call. I'm sorry that you couldn't even call me because of what Lucy did." Kim responded by leaning over to kiss him. She missed this so much over the last two years. She felt like such a fool for leaving and not fighting Lucy. Maybe leaving was the right thing to do initially. But when she realized she was pregnant with Alex, she should've fought Lucy.
"It's okay, you're here now," Kim whispered, pulling out of the kiss.
"And I am not leaving you or Alex even though your dad is a dick to me. Which I get because I did get you pregnant, but it has been two years. Why does he keep doing this to you?"
"I don't know. He criticizes me and then goes all poppa bear on Alex. He keeps using the same points all the time. I am so tired of him saying that getting pregnant at 18 is a disgrace to the family name. It's exhausting trying to make someone happy that will never be."
"You deserve so much better." Troy placed a kiss on her neck. "You know if you're such a disgrace to the family name, why don't you get a new last name? I personally prefer Kimberly Bolton." Troy said as he began to stroke her inner thigh as he went back to kissing her neck. Part of her wanted his hand to go higher. She knew if he did that, this conversation would probably never get finished.
"I'm not going to marry you just to spite my father, even if we are in Vegas." Kim let out a slight laugh. "We've only been back together for about 7 hours. We still have a million things to work through." Although Kim was starting to forget what most of those things are as Troy's hand starts going higher, and his mouth slowly makes its way toward her breasts. The boy is definitely not rusty, although he is managed to become a bit of a tease.
"Kim, we've been back together since the moment you called me back in August. It just took me a little time to figure it out. People who are just friends don't call each other twice a day to share their deepest secrets or tell each other "I love you" all the time. " Troy said all this as he peppered her collarbone with kisses.
"I love you," he said as he moved down to her bare breast kissing each one." I love our son," he said as he kissed the scar from her emergency cesarean. "I know you love me," he was in between her thighs at this point. "I think we should get married."
"21, I'll marry you then." Kin said with a screen as he began to suck her nipple. He was such an asshole right now.
"You turned 21 in three weeks," Troy said as he continued teasing her with his fingers.
"When you turn 21, I'll marry you if we are still together," she said breathlessly as he intensified his ministrations.
"You could still take my last name now. We're already going to change Alex's name." They actually talk to the lawyer about that already. It happened when they met to talk about establishing legal paternity. "It wouldn't be that strange if you both have the same last name. I want you to have it now." Troy said this as he kissed her stomach once more as he continued torturing her with his expert hands. Still knew where her spots were. Okay, she's pretty sure he just found a new one.
"If I say yes, will you please stop torturing me?"
"I'm having so much fun," Troy remarked as he finally replaced his hands with what she really wanted.
Her dad's continuous shouting pulled her out of her enjoyable memories just before it got to the orgasmic part. He just used that same tired line for the 90th time this weekend. They were going to wait until the lawyers had the paperwork ready, but she couldn't wait anymore.
"I'm sorry you see me as such a thing of dishonor. I could never do anything right. Don't worry, after my birthday, I won't be bringing any more reproach to the family name. Because by then, I won't have It." Both her father and Jack looked at her in complete shock.
"You're not marrying that boy," Mr. Kim screamed at her. "You're not repeating my mistake." That part was whispered, but she still heard him. What did he mean by that?
"If we did decide to get married, that's our business. We're both over 18. If we wanted to, we could be married by the time we have to meet Troy's coach at 2 pm." That caused Jack to knock over his water glass. Thankfully he spilled it all over her father.
"Did your grandfather put you up to this?"Jay asked, confusing Kim even more.
"No, I haven't even spoken to him since graduation, and I probably won't send him an invite since he let mom do what she did. However, don't worry, the wedding is not happening until 2011. You have plenty of time to get over it. I guess it goes without saying that we are dating again."
"You shouldn't be concerning yourself with your personal relationship when you have your child to focus on. Sex doesn't equal a good relationship or a healthy environment for a kid."
"Trust me, I know that. My relationship with Troy isn't just about sex, even though we did have sex last night. It was delicious multiple orgasms, wake the neighbors, try out things from the Kama Sutra sex. I guess that's what happens when you are kept away from someone you really love for two years, five months, and eight days."
Kim actually kept track of how long they were apart. Just to twist the knife in a little more, she gave Troy a kiss that was anything but chase. This was an 'I want round six and seven as soon as where alone' kiss.
"If you're not getting married right away, how will you get your new last name on your 21st birthday?" Jack asked her as he recovered from the initial shock of the engagement announcement.
"If it's okay with you, I intend to take the Bolton last name now. You know that we're already going to change Alex's last name, so we might as well all have the same one." Kim explained.
"I think it's a great idea." Jack smiled, and she could tell it was genuine. At least one of Troy's parents was on her side.
"Dad, I've been trying to make you happy for the last 21 years. I've never succeeded. I am going to stop trying to change the things that I know I can never change. I was always a failure in your eyes. In a few weeks, I will be free completely of you and mom, money and all."
"So, you only see me as a pocketbook?" Jay asked.
"That's what you made yourself. The father who left Zhēn when she tried to hit me disappeared a long time ago. I didn't care about money than when we had to move into that tiny apartment. I definitely don't care about it now after New York. There are more important things than money."
"When your trust fund was restored, Vanessa made sure Zhēn couldn't use it against you again. Nothing's changed; I just want to protect you."
"Thank you for doing that regarding the trust fund. However, the way you treat me isn't protecting me. You can't keep chastising me for something that I can't change. I don't regret Alex, and I don't regret Troy. I never will. Until you can accept me for who I really am, I don't want to see you. It hurts me too much. Vanessa is still welcome in my house, but until you grow up, you are not. Troy and I have a few more things to talk about, Jack, can you take Alex for a little while?" She asked.
"Sure," Jack said without hesitation, although she sure he thought they were just leaving to have sex. He agreed anyway, which is why he is her favorite.
"Thank you," Kim said, leaving the hotel restaurant with Troy beside her. The moment she walked into their suite, she collapsed on the floor in tears. Troy's arms were around her within 10 seconds.
"Let it go, Kim," he whispered as he held onto her as if she would fall away.
xxxxx
Shopping with Darby has never been a pleasant experience, even when she was a little girl. Sharpay was never the right size or weight for Darby; anything bigger than zero was unacceptable. Chad forcing her to eat as a normal person meant that Sharpay had managed to put on 10 pounds since the school year began. Chad was happy because most of it went to her chest area.
"I'm sorry that I am actually with someone who won't let me starve myself in the name of fashion," Sharpay said, shouting at her mother when they made it back to the car. Darby chose not to respond directly to that. Instead she went into a 20-minute screaming fest of why she didn't like Chad filled with nasty racial slurs and other expletives that Sharpay will never repeat. Sharpay imagined what she would've said if Ryan would've brought Chad around instead last year. It would've been awful.
"Why do you hate him so much?" Sharpay finally asked her mother when they were almost at Lava Springs.
"He's just not one of us." Sharpay just shook her head at those words.
"That's a good thing. Chad loves me for me. Not for my money or what he can get from me. For the first time in my entire life, I can be myself around somebody. He accepts me as I am. You never did." Sharpay was so tired of this.
"You never tried hard enough. You were never good enough. I tried so hard to make you into the perfect performer. Unfortunately, nothing ever seemed to work." Darby responded.
"None of that was about me. I will never be good enough for you, but I'm good enough for Chad. I don't care about your opinion of Chad at all. I stopped respecting you a very long time ago, probably about when I realized it's inappropriate to smack your children all the time. I don't need your toxicity in my life anymore."
"I'll never be out of your life."
"Yes, you will because you're going to leave me alone from now on. I guess I should let you know that Chad saw you with Jose last night."
"You're going to believe that boy over your own mothers?" Darby asked incredulously.
"I am not the five-year-old who you used to beat the hell out of. I hit back, Darby." She cannot even refer to this monster as her mother anymore. "Even if he didn't have video evidence and a second witness, I would believe him ever time. Unlike you, he never hurt me. Even when we thought we hated each other, he never hit me. I am not going to stay silent this time. By the way, he's showing those pictures to dad now."
"There's no point. Your father already knows. José is not even the first assistant I have slept with. You know how important images to your father. A broken family is bad for business." Sharpay wondered if she was lying, but it didn't matter.
"This family is already broken even if nobody sees it," Sharpay said as she quickly ran out of the car as soon as they were back at Lava Springs. She wouldn't give Darby the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
XXXX
The last thing Chad wanted to do was play golf with Mr. Evans. He wanted to be with Sharpay. Instead, she was forced to shop with that monster who passed herself off as a mother. 24 hours ago, he was absolutely terrified to spend time with Mr. Evans. He wasn't afraid of him anymore. He did not even respect him presently.
How could he let Darby hurt Sharpay like that? How could he not know what was happening in his own house? Chad doubted that he would get an answer this afternoon when the conversation focused on basketball and who Obama might pick for his cabinet. On the 16th hole, he decided to tell Mr. Evans exactly where he stood with his daughter.
"Despite what you and Darby might think, I love your daughter very much. I'm not the boyfriend of the week. I'm your future son in law." Chad said with pure cockiness.
"I knew it was going to happen eventually one way or the other. Unlike my wife, I know you're not a fling. I care about my daughter very much. I know you make her happy. I wish you didn't make Ryan sad, but that's still better than the Kelsi situation." He knows about that and not the abuse? What the hell?
"Sometimes, I doubt that. You are the one who forced your daughter to go to a school that didn't have a good drama program for the sake of image. You even forced her to move in early just for publicity shots. Although that's better than what you did for Ryan."
"I had a meeting I couldn't reschedule." Vince tried to argue.
"Bullshit. Your children are props to you, and they always have been—no wonder Shar is seeing a therapist three times a week. I'm surprised Ryan isn't on the same schedule. He just dated Kelsi to keep up the perfect Evans image even if he argues otherwise." At least sober. Ryan is surprisingly honest after a bottle of wine. It's led to some really interesting drunk texting recently. But Chad isn't telling the most oblivious dad ever that.
"When was the last time you actually did something for either of your children that didn't involve buying a car or booking hotel reservations? You missed most of the brunch and last night's show. You might know about Kelsi, but have you actually talked to Ryan? Especially after he caught Natasha and Kelsi making out earlier this week?"Chad asked, barely containing his desire to yell.
"I've done lots of things for my daughter, including fixing the mess with the video. Kelsi is with Natasha?" Definitely oblivious.
"This is why you should actually talk to your children occasionally. Thank you for your help with getting the video taken down. However, did you really get that video taken down for Sharpay and me? I have a feeling it had very little to do with us. It was about protecting your image and the Evans brand. Because this is not a family, it's a brand." Chad said bitterly. "Also, it may have something to do with keeping me on the basketball team to get money from the boosters. The only important thing in the Evans family is image."
"That is not everything to me. I love my children." Vince argued.
"Do you? If you actually love them, then why the fuck are you still with Darby? Why are you still here after everything she has done to you and your children? If you love your kids, why did you let Darby forced Ryan and Sharpay to rehearse 6 hours a day, every day? If you care about your children, why did you just standby as Darby force Ryan and Sharpay into so many activities? The twins were so busy they had no time for anything else."
"Ryan and Sharpay wanted to do all those things," Vince argued.
"That's just a lie Darby told you. Ryan hated the Boy Scouts. It was a homophobic toxic nightmare for him. He was also happy not to do community theater this summer. Sharpay despised all the dance competitions that Darby forced her to do. She prefers writing."
"She's a good writer. Even though I was late for the show, I did watch the DVD of it this morning." Vince explained.
"And that play would have happened two years ago if Darby didn't sabotage it. Did you know that she paid the principal to pull the plug on the show two years ago? Were you aware that Darby's abuse was more than just psychological? Did you know about the bruises? Do you know that Darby used to beat the hell out of your daughter whenever she missed a dance step? Even child protective services were called in." Ok now Chad was yelling. He couldn't help it.
"That was a misunderstanding. Sharpay used to fall a lot during rehearsals back then. Usually, after Ryan was done. Ryan read too much into it, but nothing was happening with their instructor."
Chad didn't know if the man was clueless or just in denial. Neither option was appealing. It is good to know that Ryan at least saw something going on. Although Chad isn't sure if Sharpay would be happy to know that Ryan knew because, in Sharpay's mind, that means she wasn't protecting Ryan enough from the truth. His girlfriend is weird that way.
"Ryan had a right to be suspicious, but it wasn't the instructor. Sharpay fell a lot in rehearsals, into Darby's fist. I was 10 at the time, and I still found the bruises suspect. I was going to do this as nicely as possible, but I just can't now." Chad said as he pulled his iPhone from his pocket and handed it to Mr. Evans.
"You can have the phone back. I really don't want it anymore. Just so you know, your allegedly loving wife who tortured both of your children is probably cheating on you with her assistant." Chad promptly left the golf course and Mr. Evans behind.
Chad kept walking. No wonder Sharpay kept the ice princess persona for so long if things were really this bad. Now everything was starting to come out in one big explosion.
Chad found that explosion taking place 20 minutes later in the rehearsal room. He's pretty sure the couch is still there only because it's probably too heavy for Sharpay to lift. He caught her just before she smashed the giant mirror in from of the room. Tears were running down her face, and her body was shaking. Quickly he placed her on the one couch remaining in an upright position and went to lock the door. This conversation needed complete privacy. He put his arms around her as he sat down next to her on the bench.
"Are you ready to talk now?" Chad gently asked her as he placed a single kiss on her forehead. When she nodded her head yes, he continued. "Let's start with the easy question, why did you destroy this room?"
"Because this is the scene of the crime." Sharpay answered Chad's question in a whisper, "I was never as good as Ryan. Ryan inherited all of mom's natural talent. She was a classically trained ballerina before she married my dad. Ryan could get things instantly that took me forever with the choreographer's to pick up."
"Ryan is the better dancer, and you're the better writer. Everybody has their special skills." Chad tells her, placing a kiss on her for head.
"Darby didn't care about that. After rehearsals, Ryan would get to go play with his friends. I would be stuck going over the numbers again until Darby would get so frustrated that she would …" Sharpay was shaking too much to continue.
"She would hit you." He finished for her. Sharpay wordlessly nodded her head in acknowledgment.
"When did it start?" Chad asked calmly.
"When I was five. We were rehearsing for the annual talent show. On the first day of rehearsal with the choreographer, I did really badly. I missed three steps. Darby took it out on me. I had bruises on my legs for weeks." Subconsciously Chad ran a hand over the place that Darby most likely hit. He couldn't decide what he found more infuriating that Darby hit Sharpay for not remembering choreography at five. Or for hiring a choreographer for a five-year-old in the first place. But he should have known because of everything Kim and Ryan have told him.
"A few weeks later, two days before the show, Darby hit me so hard she left permanent scars." Sharpay gently took his hand and moved it underneath her blouse to the physical reminder of that incident. "Kim found me on the floor, trying not to cry. She never told anybody about what was happening because I asked her not to." Chad isn't surprised to find out Kim was Sharpay's secret keeper. That may also explain some of the anger this morning. "That's when we first met."
"Let me see?" Chad asked, needing visual confirmation. Sharpay quickly unbuttoned her blouse, revealing the scar and the soft blue lace bra she was wearing. Because it Sharpay, Chad had no choice but to pause for a moment to admire the way her breasts looked in the blue fabric before moving on to the scar. He quickly placed a gentle kiss on the mark, as if he was trying to cleanse it of its painful past.
"Every piece of you is beautiful," he muttered as he kissed her body once more. "You are perfect exactly how you are. You have so many good qualities that certain idiots are unable to appreciate." He said as he kissed each one of her breasts individually through the fabric. "You may not be the perfect Dancer or singer. However, you are a brilliant writer and a fabulous director. I loved every minute of the show last night."
"I'm a broken mess." Chad pulled up to meet her at eye level.
"I don't just love you despite your imperfections." He said, taking her face in his hands. "I love you because of them. Why do I want perfection? You're like a diamond. You're worth more because of the cracks."
"That was cheesy, even for you." She said with a smile.
"Don't care," Chad said, kissing her once more. "I want you to show me every scar and tell me every secret. I want to help you let go of this pain. Will you do that for me? Or I can call Olivia?" Chad suggested. Honestly, he probably should've called Olivia this morning.
"I never told Olivia about Darby. The physical abuse, at least. I wasn't ready. But I want to tell you." A tear rolled down Sharpay's cheek as she spoke. Chad quickly wiped it away.
"I am ready to listen when you're ready to tell me."
"I'm ready to start now. That scar on my left arm that I told you was from a jungle gym incident during first grade did not involve any jungle gyms, only Darby's fist." That's when Sharpay began to tell what happened to her during first grade. Apparently, she was punished for only coming in second during the Ms. Junior Albuquerque talent competition.
There were many similar stories. It seemed like every part of Sharpay's body had its own vicious tale of pain and sorrow. Every scar was a reminder of the many sins committed against her by her alleged mother. Chad kissed or touched every single mark to take away her pain. As he continued to listen, he realized many marks were not caused directly by Darby's hands. However, they were caused by Darby forcing Sharpay to be number one by any means necessary.
"Do you remember in eighth grade when I was on crutches for the first few weeks of school?" Sharpay asked.
"Yes, you were so bad that you actually broke a television. I felt sorry for you and carried your books for a whole week when Ryan wasn't around." Although Chad also remembers never getting an explanation of why Sharpay was on crutches.
"I did the school a favor by getting rid of that prehistoric set. Anyway, that summer, I sprained my ankle right before the big talent show. Unfortunately, Darby would not let me sit out. The performance did so much damage I had to have surgery." Sharpay said this as she gently moved his hands down to the surgical scars. He gently moved down and kissed it.
From there, he moved up to her inner thigh, noticing the strange marks, and sighed. They removed her skirt at some point earlier in the afternoon. He took a finger and traced each scar seeing that it spelled the name he despised the most. "Another permanent reminder from Malick," Sharpay whispered.
"Can I?" Chad asked permission this time before he continued.
"Yes," at her word, his mouth touched her sensitive skin just inches from her hot center, causing her breath to hitch in her throat. He heard a moan escape as he accidentally brushed against her most sacred area.
"Sharpay, how far do you want this to go?" Chad asked, looking at her once more.
"Not all the way. Eventually, just not today." Sharpay said as she kissed him once more. "I just want you to feel everything."
At first, he didn't get what she meant. Then she gently moved his hands to the blue lace covering the one part of her anatomy he didn't see last weekend. Before he realized it, the now torn fabric was on the floor, allowing him to see her completely. He couldn't breathe. This time, she took his hand again, guiding him to her wet center, essentially giving him permission to enter her. She arched back as one finger then a second entered inside of her. She moaned his name at initial contact.
He watched her body for any signs of fear as he continued to pleasure her. Sharpay was great at keeping up facades. Her eyes always told the truth. As he gazed at her, the only thing he could see was her love for him and lust.
He's no stranger to handjobs. He gave several to Jamie during summer 2006. Some fingering may have been involved once or twice. This was definitely different than Jamie, and not just the mechanics of it.
Something always felt missing with Jamie, which is why he was so thankful that Troy cock blocked him that last night at camp. Especially when Jamie never called again.
Everything was different with Sharpay. Lust mixed with real love was so much better than just desire combined with Jamie puppy love. From their very first kiss to now, Chad always felt like they were made for each other. When they were together, it just felt like it was supposed to be. Like everything clicked. (Chad will analyze why Ryan was extremely close when he's not stroking Sharpay.)
As bad as Jamie hurt him, at least everything they did together was consensual. Okay, he may be manipulated into a lot of it, but Jamie didn't put GHB in his drink. The last time Sharpay did anything like this, it was against her will. Chad needed to make Sharpay actually enjoyed this. He needed to take away the memories of her rape by Malick; that way, Sharpay could move forward.
Chad wanted to help Sharpay let go of her pain. He's well aware of how much sorrow she keeps locked behind her walls. He wants to see that pain and help her work through it. Chad kept whispering 'I love you' repeatedly, trying to make sure she knew this was a completely different experience.
For him too, because Jamie never loved him. Chad needed to make sure that she knew that he loved her completely by every touch and kiss. This entire experience was about her, not him, which is why he pushed her hands away when she tried to unfasten his pants.
"We have time for that later," Chad told her as he gently pushed her hand away. "However, you had a horrible Darby day, and I am going to make you forget all about it."
Her physical climax was almost as profound as her emotional one. As she screamed out his name in ecstasy, he realizes that she finally let him in completely. Not just physically but emotionally as well. The walls that Sharpay had spent a lifetime building with finely gone for him. He never felt more connected to anyone before.
XXXX
She never felt like this before, completely loved and cherished by another person. Every touch and kiss sent her closer to the edge. She tried to unbutton his pants at some point, but he pushed her away with his free hand and told her that this would be just about her. His words were what brought her to an earth-shattering release.
They laid on the couch for a moment as she caught her breath. She wanted to stay like this forever with him. Then she remembered a certain busybody manager would probably be checking on the space any moment. She quickly moved to get dressed but was stopped by Chad.
"You don't need to get up yet," Chad told her from the couch.
"I really don't want to. Unfortunately, Fulton is going to be here any minute to check on the room. We've been in here too long without a scheduled rehearsal time. Too bad the man didn't work here when Darby was at her most evil." She doubted Darby would have got away with half the stuff she did when she was a little girl if Fulton was around.
"Did you really have to rip off my panties? I really like that pair." Sharpay said as she grabbed her now torn underwear from the floor.
"What is it with you and your underwear fixation? I personally prefer you sans underwear?" Chad said, pulling her back with him on the couch. She could definitely feel the effect she was having on him. "You do not have to worry about Fulton; I locked the door."
"Two words, master key."
"So, where exactly did I throw your skirt?" Chad said, getting off the couch to help find her clothing.
xxxx
Original A/N fall 2009: I've never been more terrified to post a chapter before.
Summer 2020 (Yet it doesn't get posted until winter 2020): Apparently, I have never enjoyed writing sex scenes. As I became more comfortable as a writer, I felt ok putting a hard no on writing them. I almost took half of this out but didn't because it's important for plot reasons. Which is the only time I ever do anything sexual. I actually added to it, which shocked me.
More fallout to come.