Reliability
By: Aviantei
9—Parking Lot
More than just blue, the sky can stretch out in many shades of red
If Tuesday had seemed too close for comfort beforehand, that paled in comparison to when the day arrived. Choukou and Kenta had sent Megumi good luck texts, and Higuchi had given her nod of encouragement before corralling the rest of the basketball club into practice. Megumi, who had been worrying about the second string members with her minimal confidence, found that Shirogane's presence brought the group to immediate attention, making their load into the bus an easy one.
Sitting in the front of the bus, Megumi flipped through her next section of the club binder. The boys chattered in the background, while Shirogane sat across the aisle from the fledgling manager. He had his own set of papers with him, too immersed in his work for Megumi to work up the courage to ask.
Not that she'd know what to do about small talk afterwards.
She hadn't wanted to look incompetent, so she had left the basketball guides at home for the day—though she wished she had brought them. The lessons she had recited with ease in front of Higuchi felt like they had cotton blocking their path in her neurons, soft but persistent. The nerves were eating at her stomach with such unrelenting force that she couldn't even concentrate on the names of the lower tier players she was memorizing ahead of Higuchi's schedule.
What am I doing here? I'm not cut out for this.
They hadn't even arrived at the other school yet, and Megumi already felt out of place. The Second String boys may not have been the regulars, but they held a presence all their own, even if at the moment it was masked under jokes and exaggerated stories in the backseat. Megumi glanced over her seat cushion to make sure the horseplay wasn't getting out of hand. Everything seemed fine, though one of the younger players caught Megumi's eye and gave her a wave.
She spun back around and sat down with enough force to make Shirogane look up at the noise. "Sorry, I stumbled," she said, then got back to staring at her papers. When she was sure her coach was immersed back in his work, she stole a gaze out the window, where the sky rolled on overhead, stationary when compared to the passing buildings on the ground below.
Talking out loud to the sky wasn't an option in a crowded bus full of her teammates. She'd have to settle for thoughts.
Am I really going to be okay at this? I'm not just trying to do my job, I have to represent my school on top of that. The added pressure didn't do any good. It was hard enough trying to impress Akashi, let alone another school with expectations of her own. I'm nowhere near good enough for any of this.
The bus slowed to a stop at a stoplight. A cluster of birds flew on in formation, high up in the sky.
I know I can't run away, but it would be nice if I could.
Being in such a confined space with people who she knew by name but had little connection with reminded her why she had isolated herself in the first place. She had been spending a lot of time with other people, too. While on one hand that was good, it was overloading her circuits. Even her previous counselor had said it was okay to take time to herself, so long as she got social interaction after a certain period of time.
What I wouldn't give to be alone right now.
Not having much choice but to settle, Megumi opened the bus window and pressed her forehead into the glass, pretending that she could melt into the sky above.
Megumi's first acting role in the game involved a short conversation with the other team's manager to figure out where Rakuzan could set themselves up for the afternoon, then relaying that information to the team. Shirogane was already in a discussion himself with the other school's coach, so Megumi had to corral the boys into place. Even though Futa and Sato straggled a little bit, a few stern words got everyone into place.
Her heart was thudding afterwards, but she had done it. Higuchi had prepared her for that much.
When the game started, Megumi found she had much less commanding to do and far more observation. Shirogane handled the plays, and didn't comment when Megumi started taking notes. While the obvious purpose of the game was to give the Second String players some practical experience, their coach also seemed to be trying out different play styles.
Megumi couldn't speak for technique, no matter what basics Higuchi had crammed into her, but she could count basic numbers. It was easy enough to keep track of what plays scored points and by whom, as to where the ball was lost and fumbles occurred. Her resulting data sheet at the end of the first quarter was messy, and wouldn't hold up for easy review, but Megumi at least had enough skill to surmise who had the upper hand in scoring and which plays worked best for this arrangement of players against this particular team.
A drop in the bucket, perhaps. But she needed baseline patterns to refer to. Shirogane didn't make any remarks about her particular style of observation, so it seemed to be a good enough place to start.
Megumi was left to her devices, even through the halftime break. While the act of tracking play data gave her a focused task, the end of the game left her exhausted even before she had to wrangle the boys back onto the bus. They were tired from play, but there was still an enthusiasm that came from their victory, which made the job easier. The Second String members were even quieter than the ride up from the back.
"What did you think?" Shirogane asked, in the same seat as before, but without any papers in hand. It seemed the time had come to talk, not to review. Megumi kept her own papers tucked in her bag so they wouldn't fly off in the breeze coming in from her window.
Megumi swallowed, thinking it back over. "Is this from a personal or a professional standpoint, Coach?"
"Either or," Shirogane allowed. Even if he didn't realize it, giving Megumi free reign to talk helped her anxiety. Or maybe he had realized, and that's why he did it. As a Coach, being able to read his players' mindsets was a crucial skill. "Though I do expect to hear about at least the latter."
Right, I'm still in this as a manager. This isn't Akashi—just show your effort and it should be enough. "Well, they're impressive," she said, glancing back to the club members in the back. A few had dozed off, while the rest were in quiet conversations with the odd burst of laughter. "I'll admit I'm a novice at these things, but when they stepped on the court, I could feel their confidence and skill." It was a part of that aura she had first experienced upon seeing the club that day. Megumi had adjusted to it, so it didn't blow her over like before, but the presence had been undeniable. The effect it must've had on the opponents must've been more so.
And this group of boys had just been the Second String. What the First String could manage, with Akashi as their leader, no less, had to be far beyond that.
Shirogane kept his posture steady and returned an even nod. "There is a certain standard we achieve and represent as members of Rakuzan," he said. "I'm sure you know this, but we've won the Inter-High and Winter Cup tournaments three years in a row. Executing that level of performance is expected of us as the 'Emperor of Creation.'"
Megumi had learned the team's rough history, but it was the first time she had heard of the particular nickname. It was also the first time she had seen Shirogane smile in amusement. She guessed, to an adult, such a title would come off as pretentious for something as simple as a high school basketball club.
Still, it's a pretty cool nickname.
Focusing back on the conversation at hand, Megumi toyed with the hemline of her skirt. "I'll admit I don't know what 'good' play looks like," she started, hoping honesty would gain her some leniency, "but I noticed that passing errors seemed to be the most common. However, we made a fewer number of failures in relation to the other team, as well as a greater number of successes." She paused as her brain pulled the train of thought to the obvious conclusion. "I guess when you add that all up, it's why we won, right?"
"That is a way to look at it," Shirogane allowed. "Though I'm sure you can tell by now that sports are a matter of more than just numbers adding up correctly." Megumi nodded. "But overall I'd say we were susceptible to a number of interference plays. This was more than the other team's defense than a lack of our offense capabilities."
Megumi considered that. It had been hard enough for her to read her own team's movements, both from unfamiliarity with the sport and from the speed they had used. "I guess that I need a bit more practice reading the court, then?" she ventured.
"Well, I do have quite a bit more years of experience at this than you do." Shirogane glanced back to the members at the back for a moment. "If I were speaking with Higuchi, I'd ask him to evaluate possible training regimens with me, as well as guidance with specific players. But you're still a novice, so I'd say you've done more than enough to meet your current standards for now, Kaizuto."
She held back the flush of pride over such a simple accomplishment. "But I'll need to improve further to be of any use in the long run?"
"As long as you're aware of the standard, it's fine." Shirogane tapped his fingers across his knee cap. Megumi tried her best to make sure she didn't look like she was fidgeting. "However, learning isn't a standalone activity. Higuchi told me your tutoring session on Saturday went well. So if you have any questions, this would be the time to ask."
The gravity of being allowed to ask the coach of the team for advice when he was in charge of so many members was not lost on her. If anything, the players deserve more attention than I do, but I shouldn't waste the opportunity.
Megumi tried pondering over her knowledge of the rules, but one question came to mind. It wasn't what Shirogane had meant, but if there was ever a time to ask it, it should have been then, before she adjusted enough that it didn't seem like an issue anymore.
"Is Akashi-kun um…unusual?" she asked, not quite able to look Shirogane in the eye. The man held his even expression, neither surprised nor abhorred by the question. "I mean, I'll admit I don't know much, but having someone my age in a position like that…"
She cut the words off, admonishing herself for even bothering to ask. She was about to retract the question when Shirogane let out a long exhale.
"You're right in that the captain's position is usually reserved for an upperclassman," he said, clasping his hands together. Even for sitting in a bus with a bunch of teenagers, he held every bit of professionalism. "There were some complications when Akashi vied for the position. But I prefer to let students sort these problems out themselves so long as they don't get out of hand."
Megumi was left with visions of animosity between club members and the sort of complications that could give rise to. She held back the urge to hug her knees for comfort. But, upon reflection, none of that discord had been in the air of the basketball club at all. And Higuchi-senpai would have mentioned something like that if it was a concern.
"So then it worked itself out…?"
"It was aided by the fact that Mibuchi had originally been in the captain's position and was more than willing to step down once Akashi made his intentions clear." That could have come from either trust or fear. Given their easy looking relationship, Megumi was inclined to believe the former. "I can't deny that Akashi holds an unusual amount of skill and leadership for his age. He proved his ability to the group, and has kept outreach to the lower strings, so they're not under duress to have him as their leader." Shirogane made eye contact with Megumi, and she did her best to hold the gaze. "If you're concerned about the internal relationships of the club, then you have no reason to worry."
"R-right. Sorry if I got off topic."
"It's understandable given the circumstances. Though I do have this to say." Megumi sat up straight, determined to commit whatever words Shirogane had to memory. "It's not often that clubs get to work with any captain or manager for all three years, let alone at the same time. You and Akashi have the opportunity to run the club in a way many of your predecessors do not. If you intend to stay with us for the next three years, you should keep that in mind with the actions you make."
Out of all the sounds Megumi had been ready to stop coming from her mouth, she hadn't expected a laugh. Even so, she managed to keep it under wraps, though a strangling noise came out instead. Shirogane gave her a concerned look, but Megumi shook her head. "I'm fine," she said, because despite the pressure she should have been feeling, it wasn't bothering her the way it should have.
The concept that Akashi would accept her to make any decisions for the club with him was just too impossible to even concern herself with in the first place.
They were still in mid sunset by the time they returned to the Rakuzan parking lot, leaving everything in a soft shade of orange and Megumi ready to relax from the long day. Both Kenta and Choukou had been interested in hearing how the practice game had gone (more for her sake than the team's), but going on the endeavor that was navigating Choukou's kaomoji infested mails was one Megumi would rather handle after a nice dinner and bath.
"Okay, everyone, please make sure all your belongings are off the bus. After this, you're dismissed!"
She liked to think she didn't need it, but Shirogane's nod of confirmation left Megumi feeling at least a bit proud of how she had done. She had talked to a number of strangers, held a successful observation, and even held out the whole afternoon in unfamiliar territory despite the rocky start. The next day she was going to enjoy a quiet afternoon and evening alone to recover, but things had been fine as they were.
Shirogane gave his last regards and went to clear out the gymnasiums. As it was, the rest of the club was heading out in waves, their own practice complete. Sato wandered a bit off from Futa's side to head for Megumi, but Higuchi caught sight of her and waved her over.
"I see you made it back alright," he greeted. Megumi nodded, glad for how easy the smile came to her face. "Well, I'm sure you talked things over with the coach, but did you have any questions for me?" He checked his wristwatch and adjusted his bag over his shoulder. "I don't have time to do a full session, but we walk to the same station anyway. Let's walk together."
"I'm afraid you'll have to reschedule, Shōta. I'll be speaking with Megumi."
That sort of order could have come from one source. Megumi froze mid step, looking to see Akashi approaching. Paused in the throng of exiting first stringers were the starting lineup, left behind by their captain. Mibuchi looked to be pouting, though the others just seemed curious.
"Can I help you, Akashi-kun?" For a moment, she regretted not using his title, but she still felt miffed from the other day. As the redhead stood in front of her, that faded away to low tremble of fear she hadn't felt in some time. "I take it your practice went well today?"
"Naturally," he said. For him, there was no question. "But I'm more interested in your own match. Let's take a moment to discuss it."
There was no room for debate. Megumi gripped onto her bag hard enough to feel the blood slow to a stop in her fingers, and couldn't beat the instinct to step back. Higuchi looked between them both. "Captain, I think it's best for everyone to go take a rest—"
"That will be all, Shōta."
For a moment, Higuchi's face twisted a bit, but he composed it with such grace Megumi almost doubted what she had seen. All of a sudden, Shirogane's assurances that there wasn't distrust amongst the club members seemed like pale assurances.
But Higuchi stepped back so much without a dirty look to Akashi and stepped back. "Then let me know when you're free for another tutoring session, Kaizuto. If you'll excuse me."
He gave Megumi one last look before blending into the throng. The starters loitered behind Akashi until their captain waved them forward.
"Eh, you're not coming along, Sei-chan?" Mibuchi asked. For such a tall guy, he could put quite the disappointed whine into his voice. Akashi shook his head. "Fine, fine, but we call dibs on you after our match on Thursday. Don't stay out too late!"
Megumi watched the rest of the club members drift off, all ready to enjoy their evenings. She wanted to run, fabricate an excuse, but for all her potential to flee, her feet stayed rooted in place on the concrete.
And then it was just her and Akashi, his eyes looking all the more unnatural in the evening light.
[Author's Notes]
Fun fact: This was originally going to be the cliffhanger chapter before I put this on hiatus again. Lucky for you, I ended up writing several more chapters, so no waiting going on here. Which is good because Akashi and Megumi haven't interacted in ten thousand years...
Thanks to those who have read since the previous week's chapter, and specific thanks to xOxO Lost Angel OxOx and Fatma Zehra for the respective follow and favorite! The number of views this story has been pulling in makes my heart all warm and fuzzy, no lie. I love to hear the thoughts of those who have read, so don't be afraid to let me know what's on your mind when you read!
Hm, now that I look at this chapter, it's another example of small victories overshadowed by upcoming obstacles. Sorry, Megumi, you just don't get anything easy, dear.
I'm also posting a KnB AU one shot this week, if you're interested in that. It's part of my Sparagmos Greek/Roman god-style universe and focuses on Midorima pre the events in Apotheosis. I'd be honored if you checked it out!
Next week, Akashi doing things! Please look forward to it!
-Avi
[6.11.2018]