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Chapter Twenty-Two
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In the safety of our apartment, Daddy told me that I hadn't returned from the Uchiha clan meeting unharmed. Shocker, I thought. But it was a shock. It was such a shock that Daddy had sent Kato and Shisui out of the house to break this to me. Because of that, I could assume this discussion would be rough.
This was probably something I wouldn't want to hear.
And that was okay. My hearing was still sealed away.
Would you prefer to read my lips? he wrote underneath the first sentence. I don't know if you can lipread.
I didn't know either, but the thought of seeing his face sure outweighed my doubts. "Yes, please," I said.
I curled up on the couch. He sat on the other end and leaned back. For a moment, I saw the lost teenager he'd been before I'd come along. I saw the vulnerable young parent and the weight of resigned responsibility. He sighed. He rubbed the mole on his chin. "When you were a newborn, Kana-chan, you could tell people apart. You even knew when ANBU were henged into me while I left the village. I didn't think anything of it."
Oh, wow. Time to settle in for a long story, then. Wow, who knew he even cared about me as a baby?
He noticed my expression and rolled his eyes. "It's not uncommon for children from ninja families to occasionally infuse a sense with chakra, and reports exist of children learning advanced abilities from their parents' summons. The doctors at your checkups agreed that you were too young to worry about. You didn't have brain damage, so you only needed to regularly exercise your growing chakra coils. I could monitor your chakra with my Sharingan. It worked well. Using your hearing even built up your chakra stores."
A moment of guilt flew by where I remembered just how many times I'd tried to access my chakra as a baby when Kakashi had been out.
"But Uchiha Yasahiro noticed that your sensitive hearing was fueled by the same type of chakra that runs the Sharingan. She assumed that your mother was an Uchiha, but the closest Mei comes to Konoha ancestry is a bit of Uzumaki blood. Your condition is unprecedented on either side of your parentage. When I met with Yasahiro later, she tried to test my Sharingan for hereditary traits, but I refused. Your brother has no trace of your abilities. As far as I'm concerned, some of Mei's chakra touched your ears before you were born. She's a powerful ninja, and you learn quickly."
For a terrifying story, this was going rather well. I didn't doubt Yasahiro had hounded Daddy to get access to me, because she'd certainly got it when I began to visit the clan compound.
But Daddy, of course, was far from finished. "Do you know how the Sharingan unlocks?" he asked.
Um, no, I probably should not know that.
He smiled grimly. "Good girl. When an Uchiha has a powerful emotional reaction involving a friend, his brain begins to channel a unique type of chakra toward his eyes. This chakra transforms the eyes into the Sharingan. Uchiha who can't generate the special chakra will never activate their Sharingan, even though many Uchiha have the genetic potential to produce one."
I nodded. He continued. "You do not have a Sharingan, but Yasahiro believed you would be capable of activating one. She said that the clan generally measures children's affinity by testing how quickly they can see color, but in your case, the chakra was already there. If you were an Uchiha, you would only need an emotional reaction to manifest the Sharingan.
"That's why Yasahiro was so interested. Your chakra is an anomaly, since until now, that type of chakra has only been produced by the Uchiha clan. Personally, I believe that since you do not have a Sharingan, there was nothing stopping your chakra from augmenting a different sense. The Uchiha clan, however, wanted to test your ability to see if they could replicate it."
I froze. "You said no?" No wonder Fugaku hates me! I crowed, but there was much more than that. Had this added to the clan's unrest? Would letting them do it have given them some new way to make my chakra?
He shook his head. "I said nothing. I did nothing to discourage your friendships or offend the clan. I waited. And you went to them on a silver platter."
In that light, the Hokage teaching me mimicry was ill-advised. Was Daddy mad at the Hokage? I hoped not. I couldn't imagine Grandfather sending someone as a sacrificial lamb. He probably hadn't known all of the details at that point. I bet he knew them now.
"While you were there, I have no doubt that they learned as much as they could from your chakra. They didn't implant a Sharingan. They did, however, do something that causes you to produce more of that chakra than you used to. It was unnoticeable for several weeks, but your hearing uses such a small amount of chakra compared to the Sharingan that the chakra has piled up and is gathering in your brain. The overload you experienced was your body trying to adjust to the unnatural level of chakra."
Oh, okay. Just a little extra chakra— "Wait, by producing more, do you mean exponentially more?"
"Yes," Daddy said. "This jutsu has only paused things. I've been working on a seal to leech away some of the extra chakra, but I've run out of time. As soon as I remove this jutsu, your body will continue producing more and more special chakra. If I'd known earlier, we would never have left Konoha." On the other hand, if we hadn't. . . .
Still, while I could understand tests, I didn't see why someone would have tampered with my chakra. It wasn't like they could share it! If they could do that, there wouldn't be any Uchiha without the Sharingan. "Why did someone do that to me?" I asked, bewildered.
Daddy shifted, but his eyes hardened with reluctant decision. "You should know that your hearing only uses a barely perceptible amount of that chakra, Kana-chan."
I nodded, not catching on.
"The Sharingan uses chakra quickly, which is why the Uchiha are known for power but not stamina."
Yes, that was very nice.
Kakashi sat up suddenly, eyes jerking to the floor. "I don't know, Kana. You tell me why a clan that consumes power quickly is forcing you to convert yours into something compatible."
Oh. . . . Oh, indeed. Who knew that I'd tried to befriend a clan that used a version of my personal and genetic chakra? Who would notice that the Hatake family had a very stamina-indusive (except for Daddy, whose Sharingan ate his reserves like no tomorrow) and large supply of chakra, a fact that could no doubt benefit the clan about one generation down the road? However, scary as this revelation was, I did not want Daddy to know that I'd caught on. The future was a long way off. Better to to smash some relieved thoughts about the Massacre before they got out of hand.
The clan was just testing a hypothesis, after all. It was morally wrong for them to do anything without my consent, but maybe I'd given it. Perhaps the chakra multiplication had been what had erased my memory. Yeah, the Uchiha were guilt-free!
Ha.
I cleared my throat. "I don't want the Sharingan. I like my hearing how it is."
But Daddy didn't settle for this. "I want you to understand," he said, gaze boring into mine. "I doubt the clan will give you a Sharingan. They want you to produce the Sharingan for them." When I continued to stare at him blankly, he deflated. "They want you to marry an Uchiha when you get older." Ew, that sounded a lot worse out loud.
It just seemed preposterous. Surely they wouldn't really pick a girl and play with her chakra just for that. Didn't they hate Kakashi? Didn't they hate me? "Huh?" I asked intelligently.
Deep, bicolored eyes regarded me solemnly. "Princess, I wouldn't have assumed that without proof. If you have more episodes, I'll have to bring you back to Konoha. I want you to understand our position."
If I'd had a Sharingan, I was certain it would have just awakened. My proverbial jaw dropped. "They threatened you? They blackmailed you? With me?"
He smiled wanly.
I ignored any empathy in favor of incensed rage. "What about Shisui-san? Does he know? Is he—"
"He's trustworthy."
So he was almost definitely in on this, and way in if he was trusted. "And Itachi? Is he safe?"
Daddy frowned. "Kana-chan, you ask all the wrong questions. He is not your concern." What a load of rot! I knew "classified" when I heard it, and I didn't need my hearing to see that.
All the same, it wouldn't do to transfer this anger to my father. I tried to clear my head. Using me to hurt Kakashi wasn't a new idea—plenty of kidnapping attempts said that. This wasn't even aimed at Daddy, just me. That made it worse. How could I be the cause of his pain? "So someone approached you."
"Wrong questions," he muttered, but this time he humored me. "Imagine my surprise when I was asked to the police headquarters and shown an unsigned warrant for your arrest. Impersonation can be considered a serious crime in the Hidden Villages, but warrants are illegal until all but the most prodigious children graduate. Fugaku insisted that since I had taught you to henge, you must have been warned about the law."
Anger? No, try utter horror!
"As Head of Police, he has access to your Academy report cards. In a few months, you'll learn about the village's ninja laws." Daddy raised a dry eyebrow. "Your teachers have marked you as abnormally gifted, so he will be able to detain you for impersonating an ANBU."
Fast approaching worst nightmare. . . .
"After that little appetizer, the rest of his words weren't too surprising. They would stop trying to get Obito's Sharingan back if I let them have you, you would have the clan's utmost protection, they'd let their medic heal you. It was a very generous offer, if they hadn't tampered with your chakra to blackmail me into accepting. They want you to be an asset for them."
I was an asset. I couldn't deny that, even if I wasn't being pushed to my limit or, frankly, pushing myself much at all. My life was practically idyllic. All of my problems and successes—what relevance did they have, really? "If it makes the clan content," I said, "I don't mind if you accept. The future's a long way off."
"Not as long as you think," Daddy replied. "And that's not your decision to make, Kana-chan."
Regardless of whose decision was what, the Uchiha's actions affected all of us. That evening, Shisui took me to an empty clearing and explained how the Sharingan's generic genjutsu worked. There was a chance I'd be able to mimic the chakra flow once my hearing came back. Albeit a small chance. From his description, the genjutsu didn't seem to take much chakra.
Nonsense, he said. I'd never used a genjutsu before, right? I was bound to overshoot the chakra usage until I got the hang of it.
But what if? I asked. What if it wasn't enough? Wasn't there some technique that used more chakra? (Because come on, if that was all the Sharingan did, there was no way it ate as much of Daddy's chakra as it did.) Shisui said the Sharingan used special chakra whenever it was activated, but since my hearing wasn't nearly as intensive, clan genjutsu it was. Boo.
Shisui released the seal. I threw my chakra into the patterns he'd described. My hearing rushed back with vengeance, and after a few tries, Shisui blocked my chakra. I would try again in the morning, he said.
Because while too much special chakra hurt me, keeping the chakra blocked too long would eventually kill me. Best universe ever!
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Fortunately, I learned the genjutsu the next day and my problem was solved. Not.
The genjutsu was tricky, but the hard part of genjutsu was making them realistic, and I didn't care about that yet. Forming a genjutsu was pretty easy.
Using up that special chakra, however, was not.
The genjutsu was slowly eating away the build-up of extra chakra, but it was maddeningly slow. To use the genjutsu, my hearing had to be unblocked. I usually lasted a few minutes into the sensory overload, but pain from either end is very good at ending a genjutsu. Once that ship sailed, my chakra was sealed away for another few hours. Rinse and repeat.
In short, by the time the day of the Chūnin Exam tournament dawned, I was ready to watch some other people be in pain.
I wouldn't cry too much if one of those people was the Uchiha girl.
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This time around, our family sat in the VIP section near the Mizukage and the other various officials who were generically important to their villages. There were no guards in sight, so everyone was clumped up by village instead of passive-aggressively intruding into each other's space. Daddy had a front-row seat, and Kato and I arrived early to claim it. We watched the stadium fill up with a large crowd of excited civilians and vacationing ninjas.
"Looks like we're on our own," I said as everyone and his super-important official friend began eyeing our seats. Two little kids didn't need three prime seats, after all.
Kato nodded. "Should we sit together? We can sit on Daddy's lap when he comes. They can't make us leave his seat."
"Sounds good."
Minus the "sounding," of course. Since I was still blocked from my hearing, Kato had stopped wearing his mask. It was both kind and necessary. I wasn't deaf, but being out in public made me vulnerable. We didn't want to imply I was deaf. Clever as that seemed, it would hurt me later in life. Weaknesses always end up exploited.
The Mizukage and her retinue walked to their seats. Ao glared at me, which I assume was really a glare at Kakashi by proxy. He muttered something under his breath, too. But enough of things I couldn't verify.
Just like last week, we were in a wide, round building with stair-stepped benches that had to be good for Kiri's repair bill. Except for the screens on either end of the arena, everything was stone, and judging by the stadium's worn appearance, they hosed it down with a water jutsu every so often. The architecture wasn't modern, but it was timeless. It looked like it had seen a few wars and laughed them down.
The VIP section was tucked into the wall opposite the contestants' little bullpen. The genin over there eyed us in fear, which was silly. No one really cared about who was fighting. The bigwigs here wouldn't cheer anyone on. We were all here for the big idealistic display.
Boy, what would I do in my own chūnin exam? Go all-out? Refuse to participate?
Kato nudged me. "Look, there's kids," he mouthed.
Neato, I griped, caught up in my fantasy of tricking my way out of fighting. Other kids at a flashy tournament weren't exactly a surprise—and then I realized who the boy and girl sitting next to the Kazekage were. Well, then. "Let's go meet them," I suggested.
Kato shook his head. "No, it's too late—she's giving a speech."
I considered the cruel irony of my life and decided that of the few precious minutes I could stand to use my hearing for, this was not worthwhile.
. . . And I shouldn't have slipped some seals into my pockets. Doodling on them wasn't an option in this crowd. Speaking of which, how does it feel to be known by every single threat-assessing person in this section? How many will notice you're deaf?
What happens when you cast a genjutsu in a roomful of kage-level ninja? How much attention does that attract?
The crowd roared, and two genin saw their names and jumped down into the arena. Ryū of Suna and Kiri's favorite Hōzuki Mangetsu.
Ryū hid it well, but with only a week since the last round of fights, he was low on chakra. He managed a good defense, but Mangetsu slipped into a puddle at some point and caught the Sand genin off-guard.
Watching Mangetsu work was pretty fun, I suppose. He was a smart kid, even if there were opportunities he didn't take. For instance, his bloodline limit was physically turning into water. Why not use that to hide a kunai during the hand-to-hand parts? Showing off yet wasn't an option, not when six people would go on to the next round. That would be the time to show off for the crowd.
All the same, apart from the condoned violence, it was a good fight, and predicting things without my hearing was kind of addicting. Kato kept tugging on my shirt and narrating as quietly as he could, which probably meant that the people behind us were snickering. It was hard not to smile, so I didn't bother fighting it.
With death and dark promises all around, I was close to the people I loved.
Some idiot named Atsui threw fireballs at a Sand genin who was willing to dodge, and this brought my attention back to the Kazekage's kids. They were, ah, lively. The boy was punching his sister every time a fireball formed, and she was holding her own. They were talking up a storm to rival Kato's.
The Kazekage glanced at the two every few minutes with annoyance that was completely fake. He knew why he'd brought them. It wasn't the same reason he'd bring them to a chūnin exam in Konoha several years down the road.
Saaay, now maybe that was a battle plan I should get into. Instead of passively watching the future repeat itself, I could just assassinate the Kage right now. Shouldn't be hard, right? He was distracted. I could probably throw my one genjutsu at him while henged. Or get him with a glitter seal. He'd never face his village again.
I poked Kato once the fight ended. "Hey, I'm going to the restroom. Do you want anything?"
"Not from there," he cackled. "Are you sure you don't want to watch the fights?"
I frowned at him. "Do you think I won't come back?"
Ouch. Point taken.
I shrugged. "The whole stadium's pretty open. Even if I wander off, I'm sure Daddy's around somewhere. There's no need to worry."
"I don't worry," my little brother said. He didn't turn to watch the screens flash through the remaining opponents, though. He watched me.
I was struck by a memory of my earlier life—a truth: even those devoted to the noblest of causes can hurt their loved ones. Some of the best men have been the worst fathers. My own father hadn't been like that, but I remembered the feeling. To be ignored in favor of something else was cruel.
"I'll be back for the next fight," I promised. "Will you tell me about this one tonight?"
He grinned. "No promises!"
When I came out of the restroom, a certain sparkly ANBU was waiting. "Bored?" he asked. He'd painted the question on his mask.
I rolled my eyes. "I just wanted to walk around the stadium. Without a commentary."
Shisui nodded and used the sign language he'd been teaching me to let me know he'd stay out of sight. I shrugged, ready for him to transform into an ancient old man I'd have to support or some other "fun" disguise. He vanished, instead. Which was a lot less exciting when I couldn't tell where he'd ended up.
The silence was so unnerving that it was actually kind of nice. Crowds weren't my forte (or rather, uncomfortably so), and this was every bit a loud, obnoxious swarm of people. Next time, let's go for the sense of smell, please. Or . . . ew, who thought open-toed shoes was a good idea? Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck.
I looped through the levels, and by the time I reached the genin enclosure, I couldn't view the tournament as much more than a dangerous Olympic event. It cost about the same to get in, kinda.
And no wonder this didn't thrill me. I'd never been a fan of watching sports.
As my eyes glazed over in thought, someone tripped over me. And then spilled a drink. "Ow," I said, ready to put an adult in his place for hitting me. However, when I turned around, the liquid on the floor was reforming into a foot. Shiny!
The boy the foot belonged to wasn't as entranced. "Hey, stay out of the way," he growled. "And didn't your mom ever teach you that staring is rude?"
Hōzuki clan, yes, manners, no.
"Hitting girls is rude," I countered, annoyed that I'd had to watch his face in lieu of the really interesting foot. No one wanted to watch boys with purple eyes and sharpened teeth. Even if memory kept telling me blah blah blah important, blah blah blah future connections. "You're rude," I finished prissily.
I left him there.
Something I later regretted, but Suigetsu wasn't exactly a person I admired. He veered more towards the drop-kick side of my scale. From what I remembered of Sasuke's team Hebi, it was emotional murder. If Hebi was better than Orochimaru, then no one could blame Sasuke for going insane.
The fight lasted just long enough for me to find the VIP suite, and I was sitting next to Kato when the next names appeared. You know, I bet if I could hear, I'd probably find that the matches were picked ahead of time and some of the teams paid to get the list.
Kato elbowed me. I relented. "That's one of the Iwa genin, right? He coats himself in rock?"
My twin took his attention from the pair below to reply. "Yeah. Sparkles-san says he's a taijutsu specialist. The other genin does something with feathers." Considering the girl had feathers in her hair, I'd say that was a good bet.
The Iwa boy jumped straight from the sidelines into the ground. The girl hesitated when she saw that. She pulled one of the feathers out of her hair with trembling fingers. A second later, the trace of performance nerves was gone, replaced instead by a swirling mass of feathers. She floated into the air. Minutes passed.
It was obvious that they were both planners. The feather cloud had to be a big chakra hog, but there was no sign of the Iwa boy. She couldn't let him catch her off-guard. And she was throwing feathers and explosive tags across the arena, so he'd have to be clever.
All of the things she was planting midair were probably why he'd opted to head underground. She was too mobile. Last week she'd shown she could teleport. The Iwa boy (Akio, according to the screen) had to be cooking something up down there. If not, he'd have his work cut out getting past those traps.
The feather cloud began to disintegrate, and its owner landed in one of the large puddles Mangetsu had used. She pulled out a fan. To me, at least, there was dead silence.
A human-sized bullet of rock burst through the puddle and the girl leapt away, fan slicing as she ducked a floating feather and landed nimbly a safe distance away. It was a clean escape. Until the tag hidden in the dirt went off.
I have never seen anyone jump so high when confronted by rubber ducks.
The crowd roared. The odd kid in the audience had used a gag tag, but to see one in battle . . . a quick glance at the Kazekage showed a distinctly undignified smirk. The poor girl in the arena hissed and teleported to the other side.
Akio followed her for a bit, but when the floating feathers moved to form a barrier, he retreated underground. He hadn't touched any feathers. That probably said something, since he was still encased in rock.
The ground under the girl shifted, and she ran away again, this time over a glitter gag tag. Akio sprang out of the dirt before she could escape. She dodged his first punch. He tackled her. He was coated in rock, and most of the predatory feathers were too far away to hurt (the few that got close exploded harmlessly against his armor).
Akio won. He broke off the rock-dagger-extensions on his left arm and offered the other genin a hand up, but she shook her head. "You're quick," she told him. She laughed at whatever he said and rolled her eyes. "Nah, you had me from the start. Good luck."
Kato punched me in the shoulder. "I said, you're drooling."
What could I say? I like birds. That was an understatement. And—no.
"The flying," I said. "I think it took most of her chakra because she didn't want to use it and she couldn't keep it up long enough to flush him out. She should have used her feathers to attack, not set up a trap. He must have known her abilities better than she knew his, because he played everything perfectly. But how does her teleport work? Did she run out of chakra for it? Why couldn't she have used her fan to stay off the ground?"
Kato blinked. He smiled. "So . . . you're saying that fight was awesome."
I grinned back. "Yeah, I guess it was." I mean, a perfect fight would be boring. Fights were about finding weaknesses, not bashing strengths.
"Those seals were cool," he said.
I snorted. "He must have done something to trigger them. They don't activate by proximity."
"Only in your proximity?"
Laughing felt really weird without sound.
The next fight rolled by with ease as Akio's teammate smashed a Mist genin into yet another gag tag.
"They must have planned that," Kato said.
"Yeah, most likely," I mused. Below us, two medics pulled the unconscious Mist genin out of a hole. Genjutsu fairies laughed and scampered through the surrounding air. "Kato, I need to go talk to Daddy."
"He's here? Where?"
"Don't elbow me in the face! I haven't seen him. I'm going to go ask Sparkles-san, and if that doesn't work, I'll try to find him myself."
"Oh," Kato said, deflated. "I hope it doesn't . . . come to that."
Aww. He was so cute when he was concerned. I patted his hair and climbed out of our shared seat.
Shisui found me the second I escaped the main part of the crowd. His mask still asked if I were bored, so I asked him to find Daddy. "It's important. If you can't, I'll do it. Please, find him fast."
Shisui laughed at me (mentally at the very least) and teleported away.
Why was I skipping Uchiha Eiko's fight? Well, besides my unconscious prejudice against her, I didn't really want to see her beat down another opponent. She would end this match quickly and efficiently to save her strength for the next round, which would start about a half-hour after she finished. I didn't want to watch what was effectively a young Kakashi fight.
Daddy tapped me on the shoulder, and I jumped a few feet before realizing who he was. Eugh, being deaf was awful. "What's the problem?" he asked.
I couldn't answer. My jaw was currently on the floor. I shook myself. "You—you're not wearing your mask, either?"
Daddy cocked his head. "I'm a jōnin, kiddo. Look underneath the—"
"They're using the gag tags," I interrupted. "But the tags need to touch skin to activate. I think someone cheated."
For a moment, his eyes narrowed. Then he chuckled. "Don't put things past the Iwa team. I heard that they talked to the girl that sells those tags for a while this morning. They probably rigged motion sensor traps over the tags."
"But—"
"It's fine, Kana-chan. There are ways to mimic touch without cheating. Even if they are, they're doing it well. It's nothing for you to worry about."
But, but, but! I'd made those tags. They were my babies. The civilian tags weren't supposed to have cheat codes.
Daddy laughed. "Why don't we go get your brother and grab something to eat? He'll be too wound up if we wait until the next round. Let's find the vendors before this fight finishes."
I hugged his waist and decided I'd think about the gag tags later. Since my father was giving me an excuse to avoid the Uchiha clan, well, I felt better.
Okay, I really just felt better because Daddy was here.
Daddy and Kato and my mother and Shisui. All of us were safe.
I couldn't ask for much more than that.
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~It strikes me that when I started out, I wanted this to be the story where the main character's personality never truly changed or was affected significantly—but that's not fair, because I have changed. I myself am, for instance, hugely affected by death, and to keep these parts of myself from Kana . . . as a character, I've been told countless times that she's immature and random and unreliable. Thing is, that's not the impression you would get if you met me in real life. All the parts and pieces that are Kana's narration are me, too, but there's a bigger picture. To me, all those questions and so-called frustrating cliffhanger bits are completely real. My life exists around those concepts and painful, beautiful truths. I'm not immature. I'm not childish, either. But the way I was created . . . all of me constantly sucks in life with a sense of wonder that isn't controlled by age.
I'm afraid that I'm not the bipolar brat I've probably accidentally written here. I hope that you can see the deeper parts of Kana. As time progresses, I imagine you'll be seeing more of me on the pages. Not because I forgot to amp up the wish-fulfillment. No. Because every story has many sides, and the trick is seeing them.
I wonder how well you guys really know me? Oh, impressions.
Did you catch my music joke?
Turns out losing the paper I'd written the fight list on was a major setback for a while. I found it, though. Funny how fights can only be as impressive as the author. Same with plot and personality. No pressure.
I'm embarrassed about the last chapter. I didn't realize it was quite that bad. I suspect I've lost a bunch of readers. I'm sorry, guys, I just wanted to post a chapter, and I know it seems like all of the big questions in this story are over, but . . . c'mon. That info dump/reveal in the first scene is not exactly the last one. I've got plenty of fun stuff planned, and that one wasn't even something I'd dreamed of before Kakashi opened his mouth. I don't know why I even bother planning.
Thanks to my guest reviewers! Guest (Followed by na na na na na Batman? ;) and anon (Well, if I ever run into you in real life, I'll know exactly who you are).
Thanks also to darkhairedbabe, who catches typos for me. Beta catch 'em all. . . .
So I wrote what I consider to be the most awesome thing ever for Handling Hatake. And you can't see it yet~but I'll probably post it soon because I'm nice. Sure.
This chapter's review reward shows what Kakashi's been up to during the fights.
See you guys! Please check HH in a few days. I really like the thing I just wrote, and I'm excited to see what you guys think of it.
