After Draco turned to storm out of the Manor, I called out to him, my voice desperate. I knew he would be mad and demand answers, but it didn't make it any easier. I simply couldn't give the memories to him without speaking to a healer first. When he'd smelled my perfume in the lift, his face had gone blank, like he didn't know where he was, so I didn't know how he'd react when he saw more of our relationship. And, truth be told, I didn't want to just hand over the trunk. Even though I knew it would be hard, I wanted to be there when he learned about our affair. I needed a chance to explain.

Narcissa told us to let him go, to give him time to process.

Watching him walk out the doors without a second glance nearly killed me. But then Blaise was at my side, tugging me out of my downward spiral and back to reality.

"Hermione," he said quietly. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. There was no point in lying; anyone would be able to see right through it.

He took my hand and guided me back to the settee.

"How did this happen?" Astoria sobbed. "Did you tell him?"

My head snapped up and I glared at her. "Did it really sound like I told him? Like that was a conversation I wanted to have?"

She looked at Lucius and Narcissa accusingly. "Did you two tell him?"

"No. He came across a book"—he lifted Anima off the table Draco had placed it on—"and some photos whilst snooping around her office."

"Photos?" Astoria asked. "What photos?"

Lucius cracked the spine and looked down at Draco's words. I didn't want the sentiments shared with everyone in the room, but there was nothing I could do to stop him if he chose to read it aloud.

But he didn't. His eyes widened marginally, and I saw something resembling guilt flash across his face. It didn't last long, but it was definitely there.

He held the photo strip up, and Astoria's eyes widened.

If I didn't know better, I would've said that Narcissa smirked. She knew she'd given the pictures to me, so I chalked her expression up to surprise.

"What were those doing in your office?" Astoria asked.

I swallowed hard. "I honestly forgot about them. I obviously have no use for that book at work. I've just… never moved it."

Before I could drift into the memory of the day I brought Anima into my office, I shook my head and focused on Astoria.

"You should've removed everything when he came back to work," she hissed. "Look at the mess we're in now because you were careless! I bet you wanted him to find out—"

"Enough," Narcissa interjected, stopping Astoria's tirade before it spiraled out of control. "Hermione, I wish you would've returned my owl. Lucius and I wanted to speak with you about restoring Draco's memories."

Blaise stiffened beside me and I felt his grip on my hand tighten ever so slightly. Like he was afraid I'd slip away, that he'd lose me.

"What?" I breathed, the question barely audible. "You wanted this to happen?"

"Not quite like this," Narcissa stated. "But we've been feeling guilty for so long now…"

Her voice was drowned out by the ringing in my ears, the sound of my heart pounding in my chest.

After all the stress and pressure and agony of the past two years, I wanted to scream. How could they even think about changing their minds? I'd been utterly broken after what I'd done to Draco, and they had wanted to just tell him and move on?

I couldn't even fathom it.

"How dare you," I said, my voice low and angry. "How dare the three of you make me do this to Draco so you can have your precious pureblood family and then decide it's not what you want anymore!" I stood, tugging Blaise up with me. "Do you know what you've done to me over the past two years?"

Narcissa's lips parted to speak but I stopped her.

I held up a finger. "No. Let me tell you. One, Lucius threatened to kill my family if I didn't Obliviate Draco." I held up a second, angling them towards Lucius. "Two, he then approaches me in public to 'see how I am' and pretends to care." I rolled my eyes. "Three, you sent me letters and photos of Draco and Scorpius and came to my fucking office with more."

Astoria gasped and looked at Narcissa.

"Did you think that was kind? That you were helping me get better?"

"Hermione—" Blaise interrupted, trying to get me to stop. But I couldn't. I'd wanted to say these things for too long.

"No. I'm not through yet. You acted like I was doing something wrong by moving on when you saw Blaise and I together last Christmas. You basically told me that Draco and Astoria had fucked on their anniversary and all was well with them." Looking to Astoria, I glared. "Which, by the way, nice touch staying in the hotel that he and I always used to. I'm sure the staff gave you some attitude." I turned back to Lucius and Narcissa. "And then, the icing on the cake, you let him come back to work!"

"Ms. Granger, none of this was supposed to be this way," Lucius said. "I didn't think Draco would want to go back to work. Why should he?"

I couldn't help the hysterical laugh that escaped me. "That just shows how little you truly know about your own son. He never wanted to just sit at home and live off the family Galleons or work with you."

However, Narcissa looked at me pleadingly, begging me to calm down.

It only made me angrier.

"I'm surprised you're not pregnant again, Astoria," I spat. "Isn't that how you take control of Draco again when he starts to lose interest in you?"

Deep down, I knew I was being cruel, but I didn't care. Honestly, I didn't even know if he'd started to change the way he interacted with Astoria.

"Of course not!" she shouted back.

Rolling my eyes, I replied, "Yeah, because it's so hard to avoid getting pregnant with magic. Between potions and charms, there's no way it was an accident. You did what thousands of other women throughout the course of history have done."

The flush that rose to her cheeks told me I'd struck a nerve.

"Hermione, I think we should go," Blaise said, scanning everyone in the room and reading body language.

Narcissa's eyes were cast down. "Perhaps that would be for the best. Emotions are running very high right now."

"Fine," I snapped. "But I hope you all realise what this is going to do to him. I don't think you'll see him tonight."

"He'll come home to Scorpius," Astoria murmured, though I could tell she wasn't really sure if he would or not.

I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Not if you're there."

When we stepped through the Floo at Grimmauld Place, Pansy took one look at my face and said, "I thought you'd be crying."

As much as I wanted to tell her to fuck off, the boys were in the room, so I settled for a glare.

Harry came into the room and grabbed my shoulders, examining my face. "Are you okay?"

Again, I laughed humourlessly. "Not even close."

His concern was palpable, and I could tell that he was trying to hold onto me, as well. Everyone was worried I'd spiral and slip away, fall further and further into myself.

He squeezed, his fingertips digging into my back and drawing my attention. "I've owled Kingsley. I'm coming back to work early—"

"Harry! You can't do that to Pansy! Lily is only two weeks old!" I replied. "Really, I'll be fine."

Pansy rose and looked at me over Harry's shoulder. "You're not fine, and you're going to struggle with this, Hermione."

"She will be fine," Blaise interjected. "I'll make sure she's fine."

Shaking his head, Harry said, "Zabini, you were being an arsehole to Malfoy before he knew about their past. Do you honestly think it's going to get easier now that he's found out?"

I watched the power struggle between Harry and Blaise silently. Their expressions were both hard, neither willing to admit defeat. Rather than wait for them to sort it out, I focused on Pansy. "Are you sure you'll be okay without Harry?"

"If you two had waited and listened, I'm sure Harry would've told you that he'll be going in for about five hours a day. I'll survive. I've done it twice before."

"I'm not going to let the three of you destroy my department," Harry quipped. "I'm sure there is likely to be a duel in Hermione's name before the end of this week."

Blaise's jaw tightened and I grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly, reminding him that I was here, that we were together.

"So I kind of lost my mind on the Malfoys," I admitted, changing the subject.

Eyes sparkling, Pansy said, "Please tell me all about it."

Blaise and I had gone home late, so when the alarm went off the following morning, he groaned and shut it off, pulling me back in to spoon.

"We need to get up and get ready," I stated, trying to free myself.

"Let's owl in sick," he replied, his words heavy with sleep. "I just want to stay in bed all day."

Squirming, I tried to wriggle free of his hold. "Blaise, we can't." I felt his morning wood against me, and I wanted nothing to do with sex at the moment. "Please, just let me up. I need to get in the shower."

"Tesoro, can't we please—"

"No," I cut him off. "I'm going into work. If you want to stay home, you're on your own. I let Draco affect my professional life when things ended between us. I'm not interested in going down that path again."

"But do you really think you're ready to see him today?"

No. I'm not, but I know him well enough to know that he won't be there this morning.

"Blaise, I've been seeing him almost every single day for months," I replied, extricating myself from his hold. "The only difference now is that I won't be hiding anything from him."

The half-truth slipped out easily. Too easily. Of course everything would be different now — I just wasn't sure if it would be easier or harder.

Sighing, he said, "I don't know why you're lying to yourself again. Everything has changed now."

He saw right through it, and I wasn't surprised. But I also didn't want to immediately alter my routine or fall into bad habits. It would be too easy to lose myself in thoughts of Draco again.

And everything is going to be different because I was careless. I just left something like that in plain sight. He'd been in my office so many times, working alongside me. It was a miracle he didn't notice it before. And the photos — how had I forgotten about the photos?

"Fine. Things are going to be different," I stated, knowing he wasn't going to drop it. "But I need you to let me try to be okay. You'll be there if I need help and so will Harry."

He threw the covers back and got out of bed, moving towards me. He hugged me close and said, "Of course I'll be there. I'll always be there." His hands stroked up and down my back. "You just need to let me be there, Hermione. I don't want to lose you."

"I'll let you," I murmured quietly against his chest. "Just let me come to you. Don't treat me like I'm going to fall apart. Please."

After kissing the crown of my head, he said, "I'll try."

However, he couldn't disguise the lie in his voice. I knew he would be hovering, trying to make sure that everything ran smoothly for me, and I couldn't let him do that.

"And if Draco shows up, you need to let him talk to me. You can't always be there."

"Tesoro—"

"Blaise, I'm serious. I need to deal with him on my own. This is my mess." Looking up at him, I continued, "I carried on the affair. I chose to Obliviate him. I left the book and the photos in my office, even after he started hanging around again. This is all my fault. Not yours."

Frowning, he replied, "But we're together. We're supposed to be a team."

"I know, and we are in most things, but we can't be in this. It can't be us against Draco. He deserves an explanation, and you seem to piss him off more than anything."

I knew I was frustrating him, but he was holding it in. He wanted to be my knight-in-shining-armour, to be my protector, but I didn't want him to be. I needed to fix things on my own. I refused to be the same helpless girl I'd been before.

"I love you," he whispered.

Swallowing hard, I said it back. "I love you, too."

And I did — I knew I loved him.

I just still wasn't sure if I was in love with him or not.

Just as I'd suspected, Draco didn't turn up at the DMLE that morning. The potioneer case was at yet another standstill, but Draco had given Mel instructions to return to Falmouth all week. Blaise was accompanying her, and that made me uneasy again.

I worked steadily into the afternoon, keeping myself busy with all the tasks that had built up over time. Trying not to think about the mess in my personal life, I had blocked out the noise around me with my earbuds. Movement in my doorway caught my eye, and I saw Harry standing there, his eyes full of concern.

"Hi," I greeted him, pausing the music and removing the headphones from my ears. "You're a bit late."

He laughed. "I was with Kingsley most of the morning. I see Malfoy never showed."

Shaking my head, I replied, "I didn't think he would."

"It's after two. Do you want to get lunch with me before I go home?"

I looked down at all the work on my desk, trying to decide if I wanted to force myself to eat or not. I knew I had to if I wanted to stick to the plan of avoiding old patterns.

"That would be great."

Arranging everything in my office so it was ready when I returned, I stood and slipped my heels back on. I shut and locked my door, remembering the mess leaving it open had caused yesterday. Harry walked beside me in silence as we made our way to the lift.

"How are you?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

I pressed the button to call the lift. "I'm not sure yet," I confessed. "I'm confused and upset and relieved all at the same time. It wasn't something I've seriously thought about dealing with, but now that it's happened, I'm just hoping for the best."

Harry nodded his head in acknowledgement. "I think I get it. I wouldn't want to be around someone I was keeping a secret like that from."

"It's been hard." I impatiently pushed the button again, though I knew it wouldn't do anything. "As angry as he was yesterday, I know it's going to get worse before it gets better. I'm just hoping he'll eventually let me explain."

"I'm sure he will," he said, trying to calm me. "You're like a magnet to him."

With a sigh, I said, "Yeah, but magnets either stick together or completely repel each other, depending on a lot of factors."

The lift dinged and I understood why it had taken so long to appear. It had apparently been picking up passengers, one of whom was standing tall and glaring at me.

"Granger," he snarled, and it sounded like it had when we were kids, no teasing tone underneath it. His eyes moved to Harry. "Potter."

"Malfoy," Harry said, stepping forwards into the lift and guiding me with him.

I felt like all the air was going to leave my lungs in a rush, so I held my breath.

"Are you going into the office?" Harry asked pointedly.

"I need to talk to Granger," Draco answered. "Privately."

Harry shrugged. "Well, you're going to have to wait. We're on our way to lunch."

The air was thick with everything that was going unsaid, and the other witches and wizards in the lift looked uncomfortable. Fuck, I was feeling uncomfortable, and I knew what this pissing match was about.

"I guess I'll join you, then."

My heart rate sped up, furiously beating a bruise onto the back of my sternum. I wanted to flee, to get away from him. He'd clearly come here on a mission, and he wasn't going to leave until he'd accomplished it.

A set of fingers laced through mine and, for a split second, I thought they were Draco's, even though I didn't feel the telltale tingle of his magic on my skin. When I looked down, though, I saw Harry was holding my hand, squeezing it tightly. Glancing back up, I met his eyes.

He was looking at me, plainly saying tell him to fuck off.

But I couldn't speak. My throat was tight and I was still mostly holding my breath.

When we exited the lift, I almost gasped for air, and both men looked at me with concern. I pulled away from Harry and started walking towards the cafeteria, my heels clicking loudly. Trying to focus on anything but Draco was pointless.

Now that he was here, he was all that mattered. He wanted to talk to me. Even if it made me uncomfortable, I knew I had to answer whatever questions he had. I owed him that much.

As soon as we were seated at a table, food in front of us, I felt panicked. No one was speaking and the silence stretched on and on. I couldn't bring myself to start eating, so I just pushed my salad around with my fork, avoiding eye contact with both Draco and Harry.

Someone cleared their throat uncomfortably and I saw Harry's water glass leave the top of the table for a moment.

"So, Potter, you knew about this little plan?" Draco asked, finally breaking the stalemate we were all engaged in.

I glanced up at Harry.

"Not really, no," he answered, and I was thankful for that. "I didn't know what was going on back then. Hermione gave me most of the details after the fact."

It was a half-truth — Harry did know I was going to Obliviate Draco, but he didn't know how exactly. I wanted him to be able to deny that he knew what I was doing if things went wrong.

"Granger, are you planning on looking at me anytime soon?"

Taking a deep breath, I tipped my head back, meeting his silver eyes directly. Even though I'd spent time with him since he'd returned to work, this eye contact felt so much different now that he knew what we had been. The intensity, the anger, the confusion — they were all visible.

My lips parted to speak, but I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know if he wanted me to apologize or grovel or offer an explanation. In the end, I said nothing, waiting for him to tell me exactly what he was looking for.

"You said you still have all my memories?"

My heart sped up. "I do. I have them all. They're stored safely at my house."

"Potter, can you eat your lunch or fuck off? I'm not going to Avada her in the middle of the Ministry," Draco said, looking at Harry. "I just want to talk to her, and we're both uncomfortable with you babysitting."

Miraculously, he could still read me like no one else.

"Hermione?" Harry asked, likely looking for permission to leave.

"I'll be okay," I replied quietly. "Go home. I'll come by later if you want me to."

He looked to Draco. "Please—"

"For Salazar's sake, I won't fucking do anything to her. I want to have a conversation," Draco snapped. "Go home and see your wife and kids."

Harry closed his lunch container and stood, squeezing my shoulder as he departed.

"Muffliato," I murmured before looking up again. "You can ask me whatever you'd like, Draco."

"Why?"

The question was so simple, but the answer was complicated. There were layers and layers of reasons, but the biggest one passed through my lips.

"Scorpius. I didn't want you splitting your time between home and me. I didn't want to take time from him." I looked down at my lunch again. "And I knew that things between us weren't going anywhere, Draco. We'd been sneaking around for over a year."

When he stayed silent, I continued.

"Honestly, I knew it wasn't fair to you, but I didn't care at that point. It's hard to explain."

"Can you show me?" Draco asked.

"Show you?"

"I went to see Avery this morning." His fingers tapped on the table. "He said he thinks it's fine for me to watch the memories, as long as I take it slow at first and have someone there to monitor me. He mentioned you specifically."

Glancing up, I saw he was nervously bouncing his leg under the table, the movement jostling the rest of his body. It was so unlike him, and his nerves helped to calm mine. We were both unsure of what to make of this situation.

Taking a deep breath, I responded, "Of course I can, but I'm not sure it's a good idea, Draco. A lot of the memories are… Well, we spent a lot of time in bed."

My cheeks were heating, which was ridiculous since I'd fucked him in every single way imaginable. But he flushed a bit too.

"Well, that doesn't matter," he said, looking away. "I want them back. And if that means we watch some…"

"Pensieve porn?"

He snickered. "Yes, I suppose that would be the correct term."

His smile and laugh made me feel like maybe it was possible to come out of this unscathed, like maybe he didn't hate me.

"I'll show you some of my memories," I began, though it was clear I was hesitant. "I think you need to see things from my perspective to understand why I did it."

"I'll never understand why you did it," he stated, a hard edge to his voice. "If we were—If you loved me the way I think I loved you, I might not be able to see your side of things."

Shrugging, I looked him in the eyes. "You might not be able to. Just like I really couldn't see yours at the time. Or even now, really."

He looked confused.

"Listen, Draco," I sighed. "We hurt each other. A lot. We were both jealous and possessive and horrible. We were in love, but it wasn't the sweet kind. It was the passionate kind, and we both have tempers and want what we want. When we didn't get our way, it got… ugly."

"We argued a lot?"

"Whenever I saw photographs of you and Astoria, whenever I went out with another man, whenever I tried to end things…"

The admission was completely raw and honest.

"I still want to know," he replied. "They're my memories, and I want them back."

"I'm more than willing to give them to you. I'm just warning you that it wasn't all sunshine and fucking rainbows. If it had been, I wouldn't have done what I did."

Quietly, he asked, "What did my father threaten you with?"

His question made me freeze. With everything that had been said yesterday, I hadn't even realised that Lucius' threats hadn't been disclosed.

"It wasn't me specifically." Feeling tears gathering in my eyes, I wiped at them. "It was my parents. He found them, and he said…"

Growling in frustration, Draco said, "I can guess. Using the family against someone was a common Death Eater practise." He met my eyes. "I'm sorry he did that, Granger, but it doesn't make what you did okay. I'm still fucking pissed at you."

"I wouldn't expect any different," I told him. "What I did to you—it was wrong on so many levels."

Running a hand through his fringe, he leaned back in his chair. "Talking to you calmly is exhausting. I want to scream and fight."

My stomach flipped. Our arguments — especially the louder ones — had always ended with us in bed. Or on my desk. Or any flat surface.

And my body remembered it well.

I felt my pulse quickening, my blood rushing through my veins.

"Well, I don't think we want to cause that kind of scene, so why don't we agree to meet somewhere tomorrow night?"

Even though we'll be alone… Wherever we are.

"Where?" he asked. "I'm going to assume you won't want to use the Manor or my house."

I shook my head. "We can use mine. It's—We spent a lot of time there. Before."

"What time?"

"When we're done with work—"

"I don't think I can do that, Granger," he replied.

"Do what?"

He huffed, running a hand through his hair. "Come to work every day. See you and Blaise and…" His words trailed off, the implications clear.

"I'm likely going to the Department of Mysteries anyway," I stated, not wanting him to give up his job when he'd just returned to work. "No sense in you leaving, as well."

Considering my words, he shrugged. "I need a few days at the very least. Can you just give me your Floo address? I'll meet you around six."

"Sure. It's—Well, I never closed it off to you, so it's open."

"I'm staying at the Leaky," he admitted. "I'm not ready to talk to Astoria yet."

"But you're here talking to me?" I blurted.

His eyes narrowed. "Trust me, Granger, I wouldn't be if I didn't need someone to watch over me while I view the memories."

The conversation had been so civil, so normal that I'd nearly believed we were still friends. That he'd forgiven me. But then again, we were in the middle of the Ministry. He really couldn't yell or scream at me, like he'd plainly said he wanted to.

"Tomorrow, then?"

Draco nodded his assent. "Tomorrow. I'll Floo to yours at six." He rose, looking down at me. "And Granger?"

"Yes?"

"Don't you dare bring Zabini," he snapped before walking away.

Tomorrow. My house. Alone with Draco. Watching the memory of the first night we'd slept together.

I could only imagine the argument that I'd be having with Blaise.

Author's Note: I am SO excited for next week.

Are you ready to meet past Hermione and Draco? Because I've been waiting to introduce them since the beginning of this story! But I'm also nervous because I've done this a bit differently than most... I think.

Thank you for all your kind words and comments and likes and follows. Rest assured, I am reading every single one.