Chapter 24: Can't We Get Along?
HP-BTVS-HP-BTVS
The next morning, Xander popped back over to Hogwarts to see how things were going. He walked in on Sal and Spike sharing their love for Soap Operas. Spike was lamenting that is favorite show, Passions, wasn't airing yet. While Sal was trying to get him hooked on his choice. The two were arguing over which was better when Xander turned off the TV.
"Oi!", "Hey!" the two exclaimed, both looking up with indignant looks.
"Turn that back on, Harris," Spike demanded, going gameface, which caused Sal to leap back wide-eyed.
"Sweet Merlin," the poor man exclaimed. He knew about it, but this was the first time he'd seen it up close. They had seen it when he had been fighting the demon, before they brought him here. It was a horrific sight. The raised ridges, the yellow eyes, and the sharp fangs were things of nightmares.
"No. You're supposed to be asleep or something. Isn't it passed your bedtime?" the wolf-eyed man stated, folding his arms over his chest. He knew Spike was quick to temper and mellowed after a moment. Soul-having Spike more so.
"Not a sodding toddler," the vampire grumped, shaking away his demon face, and folding his arms like the toddler he claimed not to be. "Besides, I wanted to see the sunrise. Didn't get much chance the last hundred years. Joyce gave me a nice pressie." His face got thoughtful and distant.
"The sun has been up for hours. If you're not going to bed, then how about you spend some time on what you're going to do to Malfoy. I really want that man taken down," Xander said, throwing the remote on the couch, where Sal dived to retrieve it. He then sat on a chair and faced the vampire.
"I've been thinking on that," Spike said, leaning back on the couch and slouching down more, in that boneless way of his. His knees were wide, and his head rested on the back of the couch.
"Yeah. Did it hurt?" Xander teased, reaching over, and unplugging the TV.
"Dammit, Xander, I want to watch my show," Sal said, throwing the remote at Xander's head, who caught it and put it in his pocket.
"When we're done talking," the other man said, turning once more to Spike.
"You're a right riot, you are," came the sarcastic reply. "I've got a thought or two, but I'll need some dosh," he added, narrowing his eyes as if to say, 'tell me no'.
"How much will you need?" Xander asked, reaching for a pen. "I have to let Sharpfang know. He's the account manager."
"Not rightly sure, I don't know how your money works here. Wots the price of a loaf of bread?" came the inquiry.
"About a sickle," Xander said, thinking it over.
"And a sickle equals what to a pound?"
"About twenty-nine cents."
"Wots the highest coin?"
"A galleon," Xander said, then gave him the run down on the exchange rate.
"Wow, that's mighty cheap. Okay, I'll need about 100 galleons," he said, rubbing his chin in thought.
"What are you going to do with that much money?" Xander wanted to know.
"I've got to get kitted out," Spike explained. "Need to look all posh and such."
"How are you going to pull that off with your accent? I mean, really, you sound like a guttersnipe," Sal asked, looking at the vampire as if he had lost his mind.
"I will have you know; I got my parchments right and proper," Spike said, speaking more refined. "Before I was turned, I was a gentleman," he added still speaking upper crust.
"Yeah, according to the books, William the Bloody was quite a gentleman before he was turn. Didn't you write poetry?" Xander asked, a smile splitting his face.
"No, I bloody well did not," the vampire said, lying through his teeth.
"No, no, I remember Angel saying something about you being called William the Bloody Awful Poet. You just shortened it and became all low class and stuff," Xander said, laughing at his not-friend. "See Spike here…" was as far as he got when a gamefaced Spike lunged at him.
"No need to be telling my secrets, yeah," the vampire snarled, putting his hand over Harris' mouth. "I know a thing or two about you, yeah," he finished off, smugly, letting go of the other man and settling back on his side of the sofa.
"Alright, fine. Here's your note. Sharpfang will give you what you need. However, I want receipts. I may have some savings, but I don't want to overspend on the likes of Malfoy," Xander said, finishing off the note, and handing it to Spike.
"Right. I'll get around to it tomorrow. Sal here says he'll show me around tonight," the blond said, putting the note in his jean's pocket. "You're as bad as bloody Angelus. Making me account for my spending. Bloody wankers, the both of you." He could remember all the times Angel yelled at him for one reason or another, mostly about his spending. Bloody tightwad.
"Hey now, don't go comparing me to Dead Boy," the yellow-eyed man protested.
"Two peas in a pod, you are," came more grumbling.
"On that note, I'm off," Xander said, getting out of his chair and heading towards the door. When he got there, he threw the remote on the couch. "Have fun watching your girly shows," he said, waving behind him.
"Wanker," was the comeback from the couch.
"I think I like you, Spike," was what Xander heard Sal say as he closed the door.
Hpbtvshpbtvs
The next day, Spike came back with bags and bags of clothes. Most of them purchased in Diagon Alley. Though, he did stop in the non-magical world and got smokes and the candy shop in Hogsmeade, Honeydukes, and got some more lollies. There were other candies he picked up too, but the Blood Pops were delicious. After being on pig's blood forever, it was nice to taste human.
While shopping, he swore that these people were further behind then when he was turned. He could remember wearing some of the clothes that he'd seen in the alley. He didn't like those clothes then. He certainly didn't like them now, but needs must. Bloody lace and tattings.
Xander was waiting for him in the kitchen.
"Oi! Wot are you doing? Waiting for me like I'm some wayward teen?" Spike said, stomping into the house.
"I was expecting you to be back before now. What did you do? Buy out the whole Alley?" the wolf-eyed man said to him, following Spike down to the basement.
"Been meanin' to ask you, what did you do to your eyes?" Spike asked instead of answering. He threw the bags on the bed, not wanting to go through them just yet. "Last I saw you, you only had one and it was brown."
"Magic," Xander said, a smirk played on his lips.
"Sodding mojo," the vampire grumbled. He had seen enough of it in the shopping district. It was bloody everywhere. He never liked magic. Dru bloody loved it. She was good at what she could do, but she never measured up to Willow. Spike never liked that redhead. Sure, she was a powerful witch, but look what it got her.
"So, what's the plan?" Xander asked, taking one of the many chairs.
"I haven't sussed it out yet," Spike answered, taking out a Blood Pop. He really loved these candies.
"Give me the gist," the other man said, motioning his hand in a 'get with it' motion.
"Right, got me some nice kit. That'll make them think I'm posh and all. Then I'm goin' to cozy up to the missus," Spike said, going through his rough draft of a plan. "See if I can't get an invite to tea." He smiled smugly.
"You don't even know who they are," Xander pointed out.
"I did a bit of askin' in the Alley," the vampire said, reclining his chair, sucking on his lolly. "That prat is well known, not well liked, but well known. Heard wot you did to the ponce. I gotta tell ya, Harris, that was a right hoot," he finished, chuckling to himself. At least the boy had balls now.
"He was asking for it. Like I said, he's been a thorn in my side since the get go," the other man said, getting up from his chair. "I'll leave you to your planning. I'm not living here at the moment. It's summer and I live with my new kids. No, you are not invited to that house," he said, pointing his finger at the vampire.
"Like I wanna know where you kip," Spike grumbled, finishing off his lolly. "Go on, get to your kiddies. I've got stuff to suss out."
"I'd say it was good to see you, but I try not to lie," Xander said, going to the stairs.
"Back at ya, prat," Spike grumbled, glad to see him leave. If it weren't for Joyce, he was sure this would be Hell.
Hpbtvshpbtvs
Xander went home to check on the kids. They were sitting in the kitchen doing their homework. Not that they had much, since they had a free week at the end of the year, but there was always a bit left.
"So, you kids want to go to the Alley?" he asked, wanting to make sure that Spike hadn't caused any problems.
"Sure," Harry said, glad to get away from homework.
"Okay, Xander Daddy, but you are worrying too much," was Luna's reply.
The children put their books away and met Xander in the living room. He nodded to Harry, who winked them away to the Alley. It's what they decided to call their form of travel, winking, because it happens in a wink of an eye. Luna came up with it, and the two males agreed.
Once they got to Diagon, they beelined to the bank. Harry went to his vault, and Luna to hers. Xander on the other hand, checked that Spike only took out the 100 galleons.
"Sharpfang, did that vampire try the get more money from you?" the wolf-eyed man asked as he barged into the goblin's office.
"No, only what the note required," Sharpfang stated, shuffling papers on his desk. He was too busy for this, but this man was his king, so…
"Nothing more?"
"No." At the questioning the goblin looked up at his king and gave him a 'don't you trust me' look. However, it was more along the lines of 'you'd better trust me'.
"Okay, then I'll leave you to your work," Xander said sheepishly as he backed out of the office.
"Feel better now?" Luna asked when they met in the lobby.
"No, I feel foolish," was the reply.
"Why? What did you do?" Harry inquired, starting towards the entrance.
"I doubted the goblins. I should have known that they would never let someone steal from me," Xander confessed, following his kids to the Alley.
"You're right, you should not have doubted them," Luna agreed as she made her way down the stairs. "You should trust Spikey too. He's not the vampire you remember," she added, looking down the street to see where they were going next.
"I'm not sure I can ever trust Spike. There's too much bad blood between us. Well, lesson learned on the goblins and all that," Xander said, leading them to the ice cream parlor.
"Oh, goody, pudding," the blonde girl squealed. She was never one to turn down dessert.
"Yay," Harry said, hurrying his steps.
Xander just laughed and followed along.
Hpbtvshpbtvs
A week later, Xander decided to check on the vampire. He winked to the 'house' and knocked on the basement door. Much as he wanted to barge in, Joyce reminded him of when his parents did just that when he lived in their basement. He couldn't count how many times his mom had caught him and Anya.
"Wot?" came from behind the door.
"Just checking in," Xander called through the piece of wood.
"It's your house, pillock," Spike said, opening the door. It was dark behind him, like the vampire had been sleeping.
"Did I wake you?" the wolf-eyed man asked, not the least bit sorry.
"Like you care," was the grumbled reply. "Come on in then," he said, holding the door open.
"Thanks," Xander said, taking the step down.
Spike almost fell now that the stairs were gone. "Fucking mojo," he said as he flipped on the lights. "Wot do you want?" he asked, throwing himself in his new favorite chair.
"Like I said, checking up."
"Well, not much time to do anything, though it was easy-peasy getting my parchments in the system. If you can call it that. No sodding computers, just paper filing. This place is sad," Spike said, taking out a lolly. Fucking Xander and his no smoking rule. Even Buffy had let him smoke in the basement.
"I know, I only just got computers here at Hogwarts," the owner of the castle said, sliding down in his chair.
"Argus told me wot the castle looked like before. Can't say I blame you."
"Anyway, the Malfoys?"
"I've gotten in good with the missus. Don't think I can cozy up as far as I'd like, she is a right pretty bird, but I have her convinced I'm a wizard," Spike said, reclining in his chair. It was a comfy chair, sue him.
"I need you to get the husband, not the wife," Xander chided.
"I'll get there. Have faith, Harris," was the smug reply.
"Yeah, that'll happen."
"Oi! It was you that brung me here, why if you hate me so much?" Spike angrily asked, setting his chair upright.
"I know, I'm sorry, old habits and all," Xander said, making calming motions.
"I went and got my soul good and proper. I don't need you treating me like my presoul days," the vampire snapped, going gameface.
"You tried to kill me a good part of the time I've known you," was the rebuttal.
"If'n I wanted you dead, you'd be dead. I was only messin' with you lot. You ran around thinkin' you was the big bad. Well, you weren't. Only Buffy was. The rest of you lot just hung off the Slayer's skirts," Spike said with a great deal of venom.
"That's not fair, and you know it. We did alright when Buffy was out of town, or, you know, dead," Xander denied just as harshly.
"It was only because of the Buffybot, that I had commissioned," the vampire snarled, getting up to get in the other man's face.
"Yeah, as a sexbot," Xander snarled right back, his yellow eyes flashing.
"Doughnut Boy," Spike shouted.
"Fangless," Xander shouted back.
"Woah, woah, what the hell," Joyce said as she appeared between them. She held a hand to each man as if to ward them off each other. "I can hear you upstairs. I wouldn't be surprised if they could hear you in the Slytherin common room."
"He started it. He said we were worthless," Xander said, pointing to Spike.
"Spike?" Joyce asked for confirmation.
"Compared to the Slayer, they were bloody useless," the vampire stated, throwing a vase at the wall.
Joyce waved her hand, and the vase went right back where it came from. "That'll be enough of that, Spike. And it's not right of you to compare them to Buffy. They did their best, and I know for a fact that Buffy would be dead twice over if not for her friends."
"Friends that pulled her out of heaven," the blond man snarled.
"Xander didn't do that, that was all Willow. She forgave them, so should you," Joyce said as calmly as she could.
"I don't hold your attempted rape over your head. Buffy forgave you, so did I," Xander said, his face still twisted in anger.
"Right, I was a demon when that happened. You're still a useless human," Spike snapped.
"You don't know that," Joyce said, putting her hand on Xander's shoulder to hold him back. "Xander is a wonderful young man, who has done so much for that reality, and is now doing more for this one. I need you both to stop sniping at each other."
"I will if he does," Xander stated, folding his arms over his chest, and shrugging off her hand.
"Spike," came the threatening tone from Joyce.
He shook his gameface off and flopped down in his chair. "Fine, I'll be nice to Harris. Only because you asked," he sighed.
"Good, to keep it calm, I'll come and get the updates," Joyce offered, looking back and forth between the men.
"Fine," they both said.
"Xander," was all Joyce said to get the man moving. He left the basement to who knows where. "Why do you do that?" she asked Spike once Xander was gone.
"I remember the way he treated me, right up to the end. He never trusted me, never. I never laid a hand on that man, yet he still treats me worse than Angel," the vampire whinged. He never liked Harris, but for Joyce he'd play nice.
"You did try to kill him. You and Drusilla," she said, tapping her chin.
"Don't bring her up, please." His sire was always going to be a sore spot for him.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know there were bad feelings. Before I died, you two were still speaking," she said, taking the seat that Xander had vacated.
"No, she had dropped me for 'Daddy', crazy bint," he explained. "It's why I was there. I was going to kill Buffy to get her back. Lot of bloody good that did me. Buffy is, was, too strong for me then and now. You raised a good girl there, Joyce. She's quite a fighter," he added, giving the woman a smile.
"I'd like to think that, but it was all Giles and Murdock. They are the ones who taught her to stand up for herself. You didn't know her before she came to Sunnydale. She was queen of her school. A real airhead," she said with a shaky smile.
"Well, you still did alright," he tried to appease her once more.
"Let's drop this line of conversation. I'd rather not talk about my parenting skills," she said, waving the topic away.
"Only because you asked. I'll tell you wot I told Harris; I haven't really done much yet. Jest gotten to know the missus," Spike reiterated. Then he laid his plans out to her.
"Sounds like you're getting things done. Don't let Xander tell you otherwise. Just keep doing what you're doing," she encouraged.
"Thanks, Joyce, you're one okay bird," Spike said, taking her hand and leading her to the stairs.
"I'll take that compliment," she said, giving him a winning smile.
"Night," he said, waving her on.
"Good night, Spike. I'm glad you're here," she said, going through the door.
Hpbtvshpbtvs
Not much happened after that, the summer was coming to a close, and Spike faded into the background. Though there was one confrontation with Dumbledore.
"Mr. Harris, I have put up with a lot from you. You have all but taken over the school, and with the help of my Deputy Headmistress and Mrs. Summers, you have changed classes, deprived us of two teachers, and now you have a vampire in the castle. I must put my foot down," the headmaster stated, looking at them from behind his desk, like they were students.
"Spike has given his word that he will stay away from the students," Xander said, trying not to show how much he didn't like the vampire being there. Even if it was his idea.
"Nevertheless, I must insist that he is removed," Albus stated, looking over his glasses at the younger man.
"No," was the firm reply.
"I am the headmaster of this school. I must think of the children," Dumbledore tried a different tactic.
"You've never done that before, why try now," Joyce sniped. "I mean, even this last year you hired that fop," she added, digging her nails in a bit deeper.
"He was the only one that applied," was the rebuttal.
"Yet, you brought Remus in quick enough," Xander did his own rebuttal. "Speaking of which, if it's okay to have a werewolf here, then it is okay to have a vampire. Case closed," the wolf-eyed man said standing up and heading towards the door.
"I am not done," Albus said, standing as well.
"No, but if you keep it up, you will be," Joyce said, joining Xander. "Spike stays, end of discussion." And with that they left the room.
"Albus," Minerva said, looking at her long-time friend and co-worker. "Please, desist," she pleaded.
"Minerva, you must agree with me," the old man said, hoping she would stand up for him.
"I've met Spike, he will not pose a problem," she said instead.
The headmaster sat down and sighed. Would he ever get back control of his school?
Hpbtvshpbtvs
Xander and the kids were sitting at breakfast the next day when the Daily Prophet arrived. The headlines screamed: Sirius Black Escapes Azkaban.
"Well, shit," Xander said, skimming the article.
"Language, Xander Daddy," Luna sing-songed, wiggling a finger at him.
"Nope, not after reading this. Sorry, Harry, looks like you're in for another bad year," the Xandman said, putting the paper down.
"Well, shite," was all the boy could say.
"Don't fret so," Luna said, patting his arm. "Things aren't what they appear to be," she added with a faraway look in her eyes.
"What do you know?" Xander asked, hoping it was good news.
"The doggy is a good doggy," she said, her brow scrunched in confusion. "All I see is a big black dog."
"Like a grim?" Harry asked, worried about what that could mean.
"Sort of, but he's a good doggy," she answered, still looking at things only she could see.
"I'll keep an eye out," Xander said, then clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "Let's go do your school shopping."
"Okay, can I go get Hermione?" the teen asked, already getting up from the table.
"Sure," his father said, laughing at the boy's eagerness. He knew the two were close and may one day be closer. He just hoped his son's relationships ended better than any of his had.
The four of them spent the day in Diagon Alley, where Hermione adopted a smooshed faced cat that was named Crookshanks. It was a butt ugly cat, but the girl loved it.
Hpbtvshpbtvs
That night Xander went to the castle to discuss the breakout and what to do about it. He, Spike, and Sal talked all night, but it ended in an argument over whether they could actually do anything.
"You have no idea where the bugger is," Spike stated, jabbing his finger at Xander's chest.
"So, we never did before and we always caught the bad guy," the wolf-eyed man protested.
"Sunnydale is a small town. London is a right proper city. Millions of more people," the vampire said, narrowing his eyes in a 'are you really this dense' manner.
"So what do you suggest, oh mighty one," Xander said, folding his arms over his chest.
"We'll just have to keep an eye on the castle and make sure nothing gets in. Joyce can do most of that. We'll just be back up," Spike said, taking out a lolly and popping it in his mouth.
"Spike is right," Sal said, still a bit overwhelmed that London had over a million people. "The city is just too big to hunt in. Spike took me there the other day, I almost lost my mind on how big it is."
"Yeah, it was a lot smaller when you were around, huh?" Xander said, then slumped his shoulders. "Fine, we'll wait."
"Knew you'd see it my way," the vampire said, with that smug grin that Xander hated so much.
"Don't get cocky," he told the other man.
"I'm the Big Bad, I'll get as cocky as I want," Spike stated, making his smirk more defined.
"Whatever, I have to get home," Xander said, and then he winked out.
"Are you two going to fight like that every time you see each other?" Sal asked, sitting on the couch and grabbing the remote.
"Probably," was all Spike said. As much fun as he had with the other inhabitants of this reality, Xander was always going to be a sore spot with him. They just clashed too much. Still, he owed the idiot for bringing him here and saving his unlife. Well, Joyce did the bringing, but it had been Xander's idea. Maybe, he'd try harder. Maybe.