After Draco left, my heart immediately started to race and my brain jumped to conclusions quicker than ever.

What had I done?

Just a few days ago — or even hours ago — I'd been telling myself that I wasn't ready for something like that.

But, the same way we had three years ago, we'd just let our bodies take over and given into our desires.

As I laid in the rumpled red sheets, I breathed deeply, hoping that I'd still catch a hint of his scent in the air to prove that he'd really been here, that it hadn't been another silly fantasy or a dream. Since he'd left, I had nothing tangible to cling to.

Frustrated, I tossed the covers back and looked around my bedroom, trying to figure out where my clothing had ended up. I should've gotten up when he did; I saw the panic in his eyes and did nothing to reassure him. He'd wanted to talk, but I'd cut him off more than once, signalling that I wasn't open to it.

No, instead, I'd climbed on top of him again, desperate to make the night last, and freaked him out even more. When he'd had the strength to pull away, I'd just let him go, completely unsure of how to say that I needed him to stay awhile longer, even if we didn't have sex again.

Draco had asked me what it meant for me and I'd reverted to my old ways, using sex to avoid talking about the more serious side of our relationship. I'd been too afraid of what his response would be, the same way I always had been before.

Running my fingers through my tangled curls, I replayed the strained conversation, the way he'd tried to reassure me, over in my mind and grew even more frustrated. His voice had been tight, like he had to force the words out around a choking sensation in his throat, and there had been more than one prolonged silence.

Fuck, I'd even turned away when he tried to kiss me goodbye, letting my anger get the best of me. Yes, I had every right to be upset that he was leaving but instead of being honest with him, I'd turned into a sullen shrew, shrugging him off and barely listening to a word he'd said.

Unable to simply lie in bed for another minute, I got to my feet and stretched, trying not to focus on the way my thighs ached from the exertions of the night.

Crossing to my dresser, I wrenched the pyjamas drawer open, taking out a camisole and a pair of sleep shorts. Rather than getting dressed, I trudged into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As I let the water heat up, I looked myself over in the mirror.

There was a lovebite on my collarbone.

Shakily, I pressed my fingers to the bruise, falling back in time to the affair. He'd always marked me there, knowing how much I loved the feel of his mouth on me. It wasn't comforting at all; it just made me feel like nothing had changed between us, despite all the pain and suffering we'd both been through over the past few years.

When I turned my head, I saw another on the side of my neck, and I could still feel him between my legs. He'd made sure I'd be able to for days, and a feeling — not quite regret, but something like grief — swept over me.

Had I made a mistake?

Would that mistake have scared him off for good this time?

Draco had hesitated long enough for me to pull away before he'd kissed me, but I hadn't. I'd just charged straight ahead, not thinking about the consequences or implications.

Once again, I'd let my body and my heart guide the way rather than my head. It hadn't worked out for me last time, but I clearly hadn't learned my lesson. I stretched, raising my arms above my head and closing my eyes. I didn't need to fixate on the marks he'd left on my body, the physical proof that I hadn't simply been fantasising again.

Without another glance, I turned and stepped into the shower, trying to slow my racing thoughts.

But the hot water on my skin didn't wash the memories away from my mind; it only made me long to make more.

An hour later, I was on the ground floor of my house, pacing back and forth. Despite the warm weather, I wrapped myself in the same cardigan I'd used as a barrier earlier in the week, wishing I'd kept the no skin-to-skin rule for just a bit longer.

What happened tonight — the sex — had probably been inevitable, but I wanted Draco to have all the facts first. I wanted to be through all the memories, and I wanted him to read my journals.

He needed to know everything before we could decide anything.

But it had felt so good at the time. And so fucking right to be physically together again. The physical part of our relationship had always been excellent, but reuniting after so long had felt like an explosion, like I'd been struck by lightning for a second time, despite the improbability of it all.

I needed to sleep but I also couldn't contain myself. My body was still filled with energy — sexual and otherwise — and I couldn't get my brain to shut off. Subconsciously, my fingers traced my collarbone, pressing on the lovebite again as I thought about him.

I needed to talk to someone about what had happened and, since Draco had gone back to the house he shared with Scorpius and Astoria, it wouldn't be him. It probably should be him but, much like it had been during the affair, it was impossible for me to reach him without her knowing about it.

And that only made this whole situation harder on me, bringing me back to that time.

Looking at the clock on the wall, I saw it was well after one in the morning, but I knew there was only one place I could go.

Mentally calculating the risk I was taking — Pansy could be up anyway, nursing Lily — I grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and headed to Grimmauld Place.

As soon as I stepped into the basement kitchen, I heard a thunk upstairs, followed by heavy footfalls on the stairs. I didn't move; it was clear that I'd put Harry into a panic. I mentally kicked myself for not sending a Patronus message or a fucking text before I just barged into his house. My brain wasn't functioning properly; it was too overwhelmed with thoughts of Draco.

When he arrived in the kitchen, my hands were already raised in surrender and I had what I hoped was an apologetic expression on my face.

Harry relaxed when he saw me standing there, but he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Do you have any idea what time it is, Hermione?"

"I need to talk to someone," I stated, looking down at my feet. "I know I should've called but—"

"What's wrong?" he asked, immediately changing his tone when he saw how upset I was.

Swallowing hard, I whispered, "I had sex with him."

When he didn't respond, I looked up to see his lips parted in shock. His surprise only made me feel worse.

"Tonight?"

"Of course it was tonight. When else do you think I'd have had the time? I was here with you all day yesterday."

"Why?"

Apparently, he wasn't capable of saying more than one word at a time.

"It just sort of... happened," I answered, knowing that it wasn't that simple. "We were watching memories of our trip to New York City, and then we came out of the Pensieve and he kissed me. It just sort of escalated from there."

"Hermione," he said cautiously, "I thought you were still unsure."

"I am unsure. I don't know if we can ever fix this!"

"Then why—"

"You know why. You feel the same connection with Pansy, don't you?"

He sighed. "Of course I do, but our relationship has been simple for years. This — you and Draco — it's still so complicated. You haven't worked anything out."

I stifled a hysterical laugh. "Obviously."

Making my way over to the pantry, I retrieved tea and put on the kettle to keep my hands busy. Harry remained silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know it was probably the wrong thing to do, but he and I have been playing with fire all week. It just finally exploded, and I couldn't stop it. I think I needed it to happen on some level."

Slowly, he took a seat at the table, rubbing his tired eyes. "Okay. So what now?"

My heart skipped a beat. "I actually don't know. He kind of left in a rush. That's why I'm here."

"He didn't stay afterwards?" Harry snapped. "Are you kidding me?"

I stared at the kettle. "He said he had to get to the Ministry first thing tomorrow to deal with his divorce, and he has Scorpius in the morning, and I know he's in the middle of moving..." Swallowing hard, I said, "It just reminded me of the way he was before, you know?"

"I can only imagine," Harry said. "I mean, I understand that he has other responsibilities, especially when it comes to his son, but he didn't have to shag you and then immediately take off."

"It wasn't quite immediately. We just—" I sighed, unsure of how to phrase what I wanted to say. "We struggled to communicate afterwards. Like always," I answered. "I think I'd have been okay with it if he hadn't left. Now I'm second-guessing myself."

Pansy walked into the room, her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes immediately darted to my neck.

"I see you had sex with Draco."

No question — just a statement.

I nodded, confirming.

"Is there enough tea for three?" she asked, perching herself on Harry's lap.

"Of course." Grabbing another mug, I readied the tray with milk and sugar.

"How was it?"

Her question didn't surprise me in the least, but I hadn't expected her to ask so directly in front of Harry. I felt my cheeks flush, the heat of it spreading through my skin. Harry didn't say anything, indulging his wife's curiosity.

"Granger," she coaxed, reminding me that she was waiting for an answer. "Was it as good between you as you remembered?"

"Better," I admitted as I grabbed the whistling kettle. "I think I pushed it all down so much for so long that I'd forgotten how it was."

Pansy smirked. "I'm sure he was overwhelmed by all of it, too."

Overwhelmed? Was that what it had been?

"Hermione thinks he panicked afterwards," Harry stated, shifting beneath Pansy. "They didn't really talk about it and he left."

"I'm sure he did," she answered. "This was a big deal for him. Seeing and experiencing are two very different things."

After setting the tray down, I slumped into one of the unoccupied seats, not making any attempt to pour myself tea. What she'd said made sense and it also echoed what Draco had told me — that it all came rushing back, completing the memories I'd shown him.

"I realise that," I began, meeting her challenge, "but it was a big deal for me too, and we didn't discuss what it meant for us. I asked him and he just turned it around on me."

"And what did you say?" Harry asked.

I felt my face flush even more, the heat burning my skin. "I, well, I didn't say much. I just…" With a sigh, I pressed my fingers against my eyes. "I climbed on top of him and started kissing him again."

Pansy cackled. "So you tried to initiate another round?"

"I did, but he put a stop to it."

"Overwhelmed," she said.

"Maybe he couldn't get it up again that soon," Harry joked, trying to lighten the mood.

I heard Pansy's hand slapping at Harry, but she started talking to me. "So what did he say afterwards?"

"He had to get home and he'd see me tomorrow. Or tonight, I guess."

Pansy hummed, reaching for two of the mugs and preparing tea for both Harry and herself.

As I watched her movements, I also looked at Harry, taking in their body language and demeanour. His hand was on her bare thigh, his thumb drawing small circles on her skin. Thinking back, I realised Draco had done that to me in the Pensieve, bringing me comfort with his touch.

Pansy didn't have to ask Harry what he wanted in his tea; she just knew, the same way I'd known Draco would rather have black coffee than any sort of tea, no matter what time of day. And he'd occasionally indulge in a cinnamon latte — something he'd started doing because he always tasted it on me in the morning. And he used to know all the little things I liked, too.

There was one big difference, though. It was easy and natural for Harry and Pansy to be this way. They didn't panic or falter, but they were also established. From the very beginning of their relationship, Harry had ensured the entire wizarding world knew they were together. He'd never kept Pansy as a sordid little secret, hiding her in the shadows or tucked away in the woods.

When they first started dating he'd brought her everywhere, showing her off and spoiling her all over Britain. I'd only ever experienced that when Draco and I were away from home, far away from the nosy reporters who wanted the scoop on my love life.

"Well, keep talking," Pansy said, sipping from her cup. "We have maybe an hour before Lily wakes up to feed."

"Do you think it was too soon?" I blurted, unable to stop myself.

"Probably, but it was bound to be that way between the two of you." Her hand settled over Harry's on her thigh, lacing their fingers together. "But the sex should strengthen the connection between you and make it easier to communicate."

I snorted a laugh. "We had sex all the time before and never communicated properly."

"Because you were afraid to make him choose. You didn't realise that he'd already done it," Harry answered. "Well, he half made a choice. He should've split from Astoria long before he got her pregnant."

Bracing my heels on the edge of the chair, I pulled my legs up, hugging them to my chest. He was right but I was still lost in the past, thinking back to other times Draco had left right after we'd made love.

At least I wasn't crying this time; even this strange mix of confusion and second-guessing was better than that.

"I'd be willing to wager that he turns up at yours after work tomorrow to apologise for leaving that way, ready and willing to talk things through," Pansy stated with a shrug. "He probably just needed some time to sort himself out first."

"I know this is selfish, but what about me? Did he think that would be easy for me to deal with?"

"Honestly, I think he probably felt you needed time to think things through or to talk to someone else before you really made a decision. I'm sure you were both feeling a lot more than you were ready for. After everything you've been through together, haven't you realised he always needs time to sort through what he's feeling before he talks about it?"

Chewing my cheek, I remembered how he'd behaved in the past. He'd left me in the Leaky at Blaise's insistence but then came back from his honeymoon adamant that he wanted something with me. He'd told me he loved me in Mykonos, months after we'd started having the affair. After sleeping with Astoria, he'd spent the night at home and barely slept. When he woke, he'd taken a shower and likely thought about his plan of action.

After Astoria told him she was pregnant, he'd Apparated to Diagon Alley to try to pull himself together before he came to see me.

There were plenty of examples to support Pansy's theory, but it didn't make it any easier for me to deal with.

"Are you seeing Penelope soon?" Harry asked gently.

"In about"—I looked at the clock on the wall—"seven hours. I booked an early appointment so I could go before work."

"You're still starting tomorrow?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked in response, genuinely confused by his question. "This isn't any worse than any of the other situations I worked through. It might be just what I need to clear my mind of all things Draco for a few hours tomorrow."

"Makes sense," Pansy replied, putting a stop to Harry's argument. "I'm glad that you're going to see Penelope. She usually helps you make sensible decisions when it comes to your feelings."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Pansy. I'm glad to know that you think I'm an idiot."

"Of course you're an idiot when it comes to Draco, Hermione. You're in love with him." She ruffled Harry's messy hair with her hand. "Love makes us all stupid, especially when it comes to soulmates. Even though we were perfectly happy together, I tried to leave Harry because I thought he deserved someone better than me."

Harry turned his head and kissed her. "But I straightened you out, didn't I?"

She laughed. "If that's what you want to call it, sure." Looking at me, Pansy continued, "If one of you recognises what you have and fights for it, the other will realise it, too."

It was a pointed comment, and I was eerily reminded of the way she'd pushed me towards Blaise last year. I almost commented on that, but I remembered we'd discussed it only yesterday. On top of that, when she pushed me towards Blaise, she likely hadn't realised that Draco and I were soulmates, that no one else could've made me feel the way he did, even when she'd tried to get me to move on.

"Well, I suppose he knew about it long before I did, but then I made him forget everything."

Harry smiled at me. "So maybe it's your turn to be the one who fights for it."

When I got home from Grimmauld Place, I didn't sleep.

I knew it was wrong and that I should've at least made an attempt to get back in bed, but I couldn't. My mind was still reeling, and I couldn't calm down enough to even consider trying to sleep.

As I made my way into Penelope's office, I smoothed my hands over my new robes, trying very hard to keep my nerves at bay. I wanted to open up and talk to her about what had happened, but I also wanted to know that I could push these conflicting emotions down and hide them from other people around me. I had to get into a more professional persona before I went to work.

She smiled and greeted me, gesturing to my normal seat across from her.

Sitting down, I crossed my legs and fussed with my robes again, not knowing what to say first.

"I see you're going more traditional for the new job," she stated, making an observation to jumpstart the conversation.

"I wasn't sure if I had to or not, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to buy a few new sets of robes. Some of mine were pretty dated," I answered, shrugging.

"How was your weekend?"

"It was good. I saw friends on Saturday and then spent the day preparing to go back to work yesterday."

She started examining me, studying my body language as if I were a puzzle to solve. It was obvious I'd failed to hide my emotions and she knew something major had happened again.

I blew out a breath and broke down.

"And I had sex with Draco last night. I haven't slept."

With a sigh, she said, "Okay. That's what's different then. Not just the robes."

Taking her through the events of Thursday through Sunday, I was once again shocked that so much had changed in so little time. It seemed like Penelope might need to see me every day to keep up with my ever-complicated story.

Once I'd unloaded, only interrupted by the quill scratching against the paper to take notes, she said, "I'm guessing that you expected him to stay the night after."

"I don't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't him leaving without a proper conversation after the fact."

She nodded. "And how did you react when he told you he had to leave?"

"I just went along with it and acted like it was fine. I didn't want to spoil things."

"Like you did during the affair?"

Squeezing my eyes shut, I said, "I asked him to stay plenty of times during the affair. More often than I'd like to admit."

"You know what I mean, Hermione. You just went along with things because you didn't want to have a hard conversation."

"Okay, yes, that's what I did."

"But that didn't work out well for you last time."

It was a statement, not a question, and I immediately started fidgeting, crossing my legs the opposite way and playing with the hem of my robes yet again.

"It didn't," I finally answered. "But I didn't feel like I was ready to have that conversation. He surprised me."

"By leaving?"

"We didn't talk at all after, other than a couple of comments about how good it had felt and I asked him what it meant for us..." I trailed off, pressing my fingers to my temples. "Maybe it was too soon for that."

"I don't think so," she replied. "I can see why you'd want to know."

I nodded in response, waiting for her to ask another question or make another observation.

"What did he say?"

I thought back. "That he wasn't sure. And then he turned the question around on me."

"And what did you say?"

"I didn't say anything. I climbed back on top of him and started kissing him. Then he pushed me away."

She bit her lip, and I knew she was holding something back.

"What?" I asked. "Just say whatever's on your mind."

"Maybe he wanted to know what it all meant to you and that made him think it was just about the sex." She paused, letting that statement sink in. "So you tried to have a conversation and then panicked and reverted to sex."

I felt chastised, even though I knew she was only trying to help me see where I'd gone wrong.

"After you had sex the first time, what was your expectation?"

"I didn't have any sort of specific expectation, I suppose. I just, I think I wanted more. I wanted to know what he was feeling, and I wanted him to stay."

Penelope made eye contact with me, even though I'd been trying to avoid it. "I think that's perfectly reasonable, especially given your history. Have you talked to him about how it made you feel when he left in the past?"

Her reassurance that it was reasonable helped to put me just the tiniest bit more at ease.

"Not yet, but I'm going to have to tonight." I stood and started to pace. "And I know it's ridiculous because he told me he was going to finalise the divorce this morning, and logically I know that there are going to be times when I come second to things he needs to take care of or to work or to his son, but I still felt like I was... nothing. Like I didn't matter enough for him to stay."

"I don't think that's the case at all," Penelope began, letting her quill take notes on its own. "I think that you two are at a fork in the road. You need to decide whether to pick a path to travel together or if you want to go your separate ways. You can't go back to where you came from, and you can't really move forward until you choose a path."

"Do you think if we chose separate paths, they'd eventually converge again?"

She thought for a moment. "It's possible. Maybe even probable, given the soulmate connection, but I think it would be harder for you to repair things further down the line than it is now. Your paths have already split once."

I nodded in affirmation.

"Would you be open to asking Draco to come to one of your sessions?"

"Eventually." My answer was quick, nearly instantaneous. "But I want him to read the journals and watch his own memories first. I want him to decide when he knows absolutely everything that happened between us."

"I can see why you'd think that was best," she began carefully, "but have you considered that he might overreact to certain things if you don't already have a good foundation and open lines of communication?"

"I hadn't thought of it that way, no." Pausing, I gave her my full attention. "You'd help us talk about everything?"

"Of course I would," she replied without hesitation. "Hermione, I want to see you happy again. I felt like you were almost there before, but now I know that you were trying to make everyone think that you were fine when you weren't."

It was an accurate statement; I had wanted everyone to think I was fine. Hell, I'd even fooled myself into believing it for a while.

"You're probably right," I answered, slowly turning towards her. "When he sees how happy we were most of the time, he'll probably be very angry with me."

"You didn't show him that?"

I shook my head. "Mainly I showed him the big things. Our trips and first I love yous and then the things with the pregnancy that led to the end."

"So a lot of negative things?"

"Not necessarily negative, but important. And not always happy."

"And he's already trying to get back together with you?"

"We had sex," I said, shrugging. "That doesn't mean he wants to be with me."

"I don't think either of you would have just let go and jumped into bed if you were unsure," Penelope said. "There's too much at stake here for that."

"I'm not sure. He's wanted to fully experience what we've been watching. In the Pensieve, he couldn't taste or smell or feel what was happening and he brought it up."

"Either way, I think he must have been fairly certain that he wanted to reconcile before he took that step with you. If it had happened early on, I could see why you'd be worried, but you controlled yourselves for a long time."

I hoped she was right.

A few hours after my introduction to the Department of Mysteries, I knew I'd made the right choice.

Right away, my new boss, Carmen, had led me around and tried to get a feel for what I wanted to study. When I told her I was interested in most fields, she narrowed her eyes at me and said, "Well, there must be something in the magical world that you're intrigued by."

"I'm honestly curious about everything. Except maybe flying and Quidditch."

"But what are you most interested in?"

I thought for a moment, trying to mentally piece the different sections of the Department of Mysteries together.

"Honestly? Souls. Or maybe love. Or maybe the brain."

She laughed. "You're going to fit right in here. Most people can't choose just one area of interest. We'll figure out the best place for you."

After an hour-long conversation, we'd decided I'd start out looking into soul magic. I didn't tell her that I already knew quite a bit.

"There's a team studying what they believe to be a Horcrux in Barcelona," she stated, her eyes twinkling. "I think you might be uniquely qualified to help them determine if that's really what it is."

"Barcelona? For how long?" I asked, thinking about Draco and my appointments with Penelope.

"You wouldn't necessarily have to stay there, but I think it will take several weeks. If it is a genuine Horcrux, they plan on running quite a few magical tests and trying to figure out who it belonged to."

"They won't expect me to figure that out, right?"

"Of course not! Anyone who knows your story will understand that you knew exactly what you were looking for and who it belonged to."

Several weeks away from Britain.

The gears in my mind started turning, and a few things clicked into place.

One — it would probably be best if I put some physical distance between Draco and me.

Two — I really was uniquely qualified for this project. I was one of the few people who had actually touched a Horcrux. I'd lived with it around my neck for days at a time and knew exactly how it felt.

Three — I could come back for therapy. Magical travel made everything easy.

Slowly, I nodded my head and said, "When do I leave?"

"Whenever you want, my dear," Carmen answered. "I just have to let them know you're coming."

"What about Wednesday? I have an appointment in the morning and I need to settle a few things here first."

"That's fine with me, and I'm sure they'll be more than happy to accommodate since you'll be a big asset to their study. We can provide you with the necessary translation charms to streamline the communication process." Standing up, she turned to the bookshelf behind her desk and let her fingers trace the spines. "In the meantime, you might want to do some preliminary reading."

When she held out a copy of Anima, I had to suppress a laugh.

"So, it's quite a funny story, but I have my own copy of that book, and I read Magick Most Evile more times than I can count while we were searching for Voldemort's Horcruxes."

Her jaw dropped. "You have this book?"

"I do. Someone gave it to me as a gift."

She set her copy down on the desk and sat in her chair once more.

"This is a story I need to hear."

At 5:30 pm, I made my way to the lift, my heels clicking along the stone floor the same way they had several levels up in the DMLE.

But now there was no one walking with me. No Blaise, no Draco, no Harry or Ron.

I was on my own and standing tall, ready to take on the next challenge — even if that meant heading to Barcelona right after sleeping with Draco. I'd thought about it on a continuous loop all afternoon, and I knew this was the right decision for me. I needed a chance to establish myself, to figure out what I really wanted.

Draco was part of it, but I wouldn't plan my whole life around being with him again.

As I rode up to the Atrium, I felt my heart starting to race in anticipation.

All day, I'd tried to focus on my new job and forget about the previous night. However, now that I was getting ready to head home, I couldn't help wondering what tonight would be like. I pressed my fingers to my glamoured collarbone and closed my eyes for a few seconds. I could almost feel his mouth on me again, and since we'd watched so many scenes in the Pensieve, I knew exactly what it looked like when he was kissing me just about anywhere on my body.

My blood was heating, making me burn for him like I had before. One taste and I longed for so much more.

The lift doors opened and I refocused, stepping into the Atrium and heading for the nearest Floo. Shouting out my home address, I took a deep breath and zoomed away.

However, home looked and felt a lot different than usual when I got there.

I looked around the ground level of my house, taking in the dining table specifically. There were lit candles atop it, a bouquet of red and yellow roses in the centre. Two covered plates were situated at one end, likely keeping the food warm, and wine glasses waiting to be filled.

Draco stepped out of my kitchen, wine bottle in hand, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

When he noticed me, he smiled the way he used to, making my knees feel weak. This was like something out of a memory or a dream and I didn't know how to react.

"I know I've said this so many times before," he began, setting the wine bottle down on the table and then moving towards me carefully, "but I'm sorry, Hermione. Once again, I was an arse."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and waited for me to say something, but I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say.

Finally, after a very pregnant pause, I blurted, "What is all this?"

Cringing internally, I offered him an apologetic look.

"You've made me dinner before so I figured I'd return the favour since it was your first day back at work," he said nervously. "I hope it's alright that I let myself in. I know you said it was, but I wasn't sure if you were just being polite, and I wanted to have this set up before you got home."

"You cooked?"

Laughing, he replied, "I most certainly did not. I wanted to have something edible and, if I knew how to cook before, I certainly don't remember how to now."

I took a hesitant step forward and he did too, wrapping his arms around me.

"I shouldn't have left the way I did," he murmured, kissing the top of my head. "I just needed a little time to think, and I wanted to give you space as well. I should've just told you that instead of making an excuse."

At his admission, I fully melted into him, pressing my body against his and enjoying it for a few seconds. The close proximity did nothing to dampen the arousal I'd felt earlier, but I couldn't convince myself to pull away, even for a second. Especially since I knew I'd be leaving tomorrow night, and I didn't really know when I'd see him again.

"You're wearing the perfume again," he said, breathing deeply. "Something I remembered on my own."

"There's no sense in not wearing it now that you know. It's always been my favourite, so I just took it out of the trunk."

Draco pulled back and looked down at me, one hand cupping my jaw. The pad of his thumb brushed over my lips.

"Can I kiss you?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," I replied, even though it hurt to say it. "We won't — or I won't — be able to stop."

Respecting my wishes, he released me and I moved to the dining table, setting my bag down on the floor beside it. I felt him watching me closely, but I took the time I needed to steady myself and build up the courage to speak.

When I turned to face him, I tried to smile. "I think we need to talk about last night before we do anything else tonight."

"You're probably right," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Potter might have mentioned that you turned up at Grimmauld Place last night. Or this morning."

I wasn't surprised, but I wished Harry had just stayed out of it. Now I couldn't be sure if Draco was here because he wanted to be or because he felt like he had to be.

"I did. I didn't know where else to go, and I couldn't sleep." I nervously fumbled with my robes, straightening them. "I figured they'd be up with Lily."

He nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you like that, and once I had, I didn't know how to fix it."

"I get it, Draco. It was a lot for both of us, and the space was probably good. Do you want to sit down and eat while we talk?"

He pulled out one of the chairs and gestured for me to sit before he took the other.

"It was a lot," he repeated, vanishing the plate covers and revealing a heap of pasta. "But I don't regret it."

"You don't?"

He picked up the wine and poured some into each glass. "Not one bit. I know the way I left last night likely doesn't give you much confidence in me, but I swear, everything will be different this time around—"

"Slow down," I interrupted, meeting his eyes. "I don't want everything to be different."

Draco's confusion was clear on his face and I twirled a bite of pasta around my fork. He did the same, taking his cues from me.

"But I'll admit I'm fucking terrified."

"I am too," he replied, nearly instantaneously. "Last night — the way it felt to be with you again — I knew it was right. It doesn't matter what happened in the past. You and I, we fit together. I wanted to tell you that, but I didn't want you to feel like I was pressuring you. And I knew we couldn't just keep having sex, not without talking about it. It was too much like before—"

I looked down at my lap as I interrupted him. "That's one of the things I do. I use sex to avoid the hard conversations."

His chair scraped against the floor and then he was pulling mine out and turning it to face him like I wasn't in it at all. He knelt down in front of me, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

"Hermione, you don't need to avoid conversations. Not with me. After everything we've already gone through, how could anything be hard to talk about?"

"I'm not sure if I'm ready for all of this," I admitted quietly. "I thought we had more time. I wanted you to see everything and read my journals before we took that step."

Silence surrounded us as my words sank in. In my mind, he reacted hundreds of different ways — storming out, kissing me senseless, pulling me close and telling me that he still loved me — but in reality, he just chewed his cheek, the muscle in his jaw twitching. I gave him time, knowing he'd eventually say something.

"You don't want to be together?" he finally asked.

"I never said that. I want us to choose to be together, and you need to have all the facts before you make that choice."

"Nothing is going to change my mind." His eyes were intense, searing into me in a way I'd never really seen before. "I've loved you in one way or another since we were teenagers, and it's never really gone away. Not even when you tried to erase it."

"Draco, you need to know everything—"

"Do you still love me, Granger?"

I felt tears welling in my eyes, threatening to break free at any moment. In my heart, I knew the answer, but I didn't know if I could tell him so soon.

We needed time — time to discuss, time to heal — and as soon as we'd both admitted our feelings, that time would vanish.

Looking straight at him, I swallowed hard. "It's not that simple—"

"It is," he interrupted, taking over the conversation. "It's very simple. You either feel something or you don't."

"Okay, yes, I feel something," I began, frustrated that I'd lost control of the conversation.

"Then that's all I need to know," he stated firmly.

"But I still need time. Even if you don't want to admit it, you need it too."

He sighed. "Haven't we lost enough time?"

"Maybe, but I'm still not ready to just run into this. Last night, I don't want to call it a mistake, but—"

"It was too soon," Draco said. "I can agree with you there, but it just solidified everything for me. I'd already chosen. I was just waiting for you to figure out what you wanted."

I was stunned silent once more. His hands settled on my thighs, right above my knees, and he gently squeezed.

"Please talk to me."

"I'm leaving," I blurted. "I'm going to be working abroad for a few weeks."

"What? Where?"

"I can't tell you. You know what department I'm in now."

His face fell. "But we just… If we love each other, shouldn't we figure this out now? How can we do that if you leave?"

Calling on the small bit of courage I had left, I said, "Before I can make a decision about us, I need to focus on myself and what's best for me. I think we both know that love isn't always enough."

"Is that really how you feel?"

I looked away, unable to face him. "How could I not feel that way? It was never enough before."

"Hermione," he began, his hand cupping the side of my face in an attempt to draw me back in. "You know that the circumstances were against us last time. But I filed the divorce papers today. We're both free and able to commit to this." He took a deep breath. "We can have everything we've ever wanted."

The irrational part of me wanted to dive right in and take his words at face value, to drown in the promise of the life we'd wanted, but there was too much baggage between us. If we didn't sort through it all, would there be lingering resentment and anger? Would we only really be intimate when we were making love?

I remembered what Penelope had said only this morning — I think it would be harder for you to repair things further down the line than it is now.

And then I asked him the question I was afraid to.

"Would you—" I took a deep breath, steeling myself. In the back of my mind, I could hear Blaise's negativity when I'd asked him a variation of the same question. "Would you be willing to come to therapy with me?"

Draco didn't even hesitate. "Yes. Of course I will. I think it would be good for us."

I hadn't expected him to readily agree, so I didn't respond right away.

"Hermione, I know as well as you do that there's so much history between us that we need to work through it all, and neither of us excels at communicating. We need to learn how to do that properly. Otherwise this—" he gestured between us "—will never work."

Even though I'd been trying to keep my distance, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my lips to his cheek.

Somehow, he got to his feet, making me stand with him. We stood there tangled together, magic tingling and somehow mending our broken pieces, fitting them together again.

Draco kissed the top of my head and said, "I really do want to stay with you tonight. Especially if you're going to be leaving for a few weeks."

"I'll come back for therapy," I told him. "So we'll see each other. I'm going to set it up with Penelope tomorrow. Is there a day of the week that's best for you?"

He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "Next week, Astoria goes for treatments on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so either Tuesday or Thursday would suit me best."

"Okay. I'll aim for Tuesdays, then." I smiled up at him, trying to soften the blow. "I don't think we should stay together tonight. I'm not ready for that yet."

That was a half-truth. I was more than ready to be with him again, but I knew if I was, it would make it so much harder for me to leave.

"Hermione, I only meant that I wanted to sleep here with you. We don't have to have sex."

"You might have that kind of self-control but I don't," I admitted. "I think that's perfectly obvious after last night."

I could tell he was disappointed, but he didn't fight me on it. "Okay. I understand."

"Shall we eat?" I asked, changing the subject. "You went to all this trouble."

Draco sighed and stepped back. "Of course."

Turning my chair in again, I took my seat and started eating, feeling a bit better now that everything was out in the open.

"I'm not trying to dismiss what you're saying," I said quietly. "But you said you left because you needed time last night. I need it, as well. I can't build my world around you again, no matter what I feel."

"I didn't expect you to. In fact, I don't want you to. I want to build something with you, and if that means taking a little time to ourselves, then so be it."

Everything he'd just said was exactly what I needed to hear.

I took a sip of my wine. "Thank you, Draco."

"For what?" he asked.

"For understanding. For coming to apologise right away," I replied, smiling at him. "It means more than you know."

He simply nodded in response and that was enough for me.

We got through the meal quickly, talking about my first day in the Department of Mysteries as much as I could and his frustration with the case Harry had given him. I asked about Scorpius and, like always, he smiled as he told me about his son.

After the dishes were banished back to wherever they'd come from, Draco stood in front of me with a question written across his face.

"I need to give you a few more memories," I began nervously. "I don't particularly want to watch my interactions with your parents. And I have a letter that your mother wrote to me."

"Interactions with my parents? As in both of them?"

"Yes. Both of them. Your mother came to my office at one point… after." I sighed, knowing that he'd likely just started to really forgive his parents for what they'd done. I didn't want to drive a wedge between them, but he needed to know everything that had happened.

"Okay," Draco said warily. "Just put it all together and I'll take it with me when I go tonight. I'll be heading over to my new place."

I nodded and set to work, feeling his eyes on me the entire time.

When I'd finished, I faced him and said, "I told you a few days ago that I marked parts of the journals that I thought were important. Please just… You don't have to read it all, but make sure you look at those things specifically."

"I'm going to read it all. It doesn't matter how long it takes me. I want to know everything you went through so I can understand you better."

I felt tears starting to build up in my eyes, threatening to spill. Every answer he gave me showed that he really cared and wanted things to turn out different this time. Throwing my arms around him, I hugged him close and he reciprocated, his hand stroking along my spine and trying to soothe me.

"Hey," he whispered. "Don't cry. We're going to figure it all out."

"I know," I replied, sniffling against his shoulder. "I'm just overwhelmed."

"Me too," he admitted. "But I'm happy at the same time."

And I thought I might be, too.

Author's Note: Next update should be August 28th, but it may be a day or two late as my beta is on vacation the week before and I don't want to pressure her if I make changes at the last minute.

As always, thank you so much for reading!