A/N: Dear reader, you may notice the rating of this story was increased in sync with the posting of this chapter. Consider this a warning of sexual content ahead. While consensual, it is well-telegraphed and can hopefully be avoided if needed for certain readers. Thank you.
Maren was gone when she woke up. Elsa did not see her again until they set out on the road, across the bridge, for the city and Arendelle proper. The captain's reindeer would occasionally catch her eye in contrast to the knights on horseback, but she did not approach. Elsa certainly didn't blame her for keeping her distance. She had literally thrown herself at the woman. Then she had cried so much, she had fallen dead asleep.
Elsa wasn't sure which was more embarrassingly mortifying.
She tried not to outwardly cringe at her behavior from Nokk's back. The Water spirit had assumed a more traditional form, presenting as their signature horse. Comfort radiated between them, trying to wash away the residual humiliation at her own actions. Not that anyone noticed her twitching and sighing. Their escort was a full regimen now, and added people and protection meant Elsa was now no longer enjoying the simple company of the rangers. On the contrary, she enjoyed no company now. These people respected rank and left the former royal socially isolated despite surrounding her on all sides as they marched.
Bruni and Gale, after some internal plotting between the spirits, had set off separately for Northuldra. They all wished to be home, and Elsa did not have the heart or desire to stop them. Knowing they would help protect the forest from those horrible Shadows gave her some peace.
Maren did not speak to her until the second day, when the paths grew wider, the number of small villages and homes grew more frequent, and the knot in Elsa's stomach steadily grew tighter. They would be at the capital within the hour.
When Ryder and his master trotted nearby, Maren's tone was neutral; Elsa tried to embody the coolness of ice lest it be obvious she was still mortified at her actions from their previous encounter.
She was failing.
"You probably know, but we're almost there."
As far as conversations and etiquette went, Elsa recognized the peace offering of sorts.
"Luckily the roads still look mostly the same," she reasoned with a smirk before looking at Maren, "Thank you though."
Maren nodded, eyes fixed ahead. "It should be quiet. Your sister will be surprised, but that seemed safest."
"I understand. I'm excited to see her."
"She'll be happy too."
Their eyes met. Elsa thought she saw the hints of a smile.
Maybe Maren didn't hate her. At least for today.
Elsa maintained eye contact as she coyly commented, "I suppose her Silver Hand would know."
Maren snorted and shook her head. "Stupid title. Just means I'm in charge of the fools that got good at killing Shadows and whatever else was deemed too 'unique' for your typical soldiers," she explained rolling her eyes, "Arcane advisor is how the queen pitched it."
As exasperated as the captain acted, Elsa found her eyes drawn to Maren's glittering eyes and curling lips. It was pitiful, really, how quickly she clung to the moments of warmth and familiarity, how eagerly her heart began to pulse.
"What other unique title introductions did I miss?"
"Olaf's honorary stewardship is pretty good," Maren surmised with a twitching smile, "I still think I have some of the silliest, for example-"
Her voice immediately died as she looked forward past her steed's horns.
"Damnit."
"What?" Elsa asked, glancing ahead. She could see the city's gates in the distance. Exciting, yes, but no cause for alarm. Riders, clearly in Arendelle's livery, were on the way to intercept them.
"That's an honor guard. A well-prepared honor guard," Maren hissed through gritted teeth.
Elsa looked once more, seeing the decorated uniform of the riders. "Is that bad?"
"It means they sent word to the capital you were coming, after I specifically asked them not to," she groaned, "Berglund is such a bastard."
"Why is that a problem?"
Maren's mouth began to move but no answer came. After some hesitation, she did not answer, and her glaring gaze remained transfixed forward.
Then Elsa heard it.
Screams on the wind.
What was it?
They were still so far away. For the sound to travel that distance, it would need to be incredibly loud. Practically every citizen in Arendelle would need to be shouting in the street to make that level of noise.
Oh.
With recognition came the subsequent embarrassment and dread.
"A crowd is the last thing you need."
The words were so solemn and gentle, muffled by the hoofbeats that surrounded them. When Elsa looked over to their speaker, she noted the grimace and furrowed brow. Maren still kept her gaze locked forward.
Annoyed and angry, all for Elsa's sake. All to save her from her silly fear of the public eye.
Elsa still had so many questions about Maren's distant moods. An unknown, mysterious lover haunted her nightmares with the assumption Maren had moved on. Fear choked her as she wondered, perhaps even a more terrible fate, if Maren simply no longer loved her, if she had at all. Maybe she only did this in service to Anna. Elsa was a mission, nothing more.
And yet…Honeymaren was still looking out for her, always protecting her. She had been willing to die at the hands of a thousand Shadows for her. The necklace tucked beneath her shirt was pressed against her chest now swelling with desperation for this woman.
"Thank you," Elsa said softly, "I'll be alright. But thank you."
I love you, she so badly wanted to shout. But even if she wasn't terrified of the response, this was not the time nor the place.
Amber eyes looked at her. Maren nodded. Elsa tried to remember to keep breathing.
Commotion escalated around them. The shouts from Arendelle were louder. With a deep breath, Elsa readied her mask, buried her feelings. Her pathetic and pining love life would have to come later.
They were upon the city gates.
Like a direct strike of lightning, the moment the barricade was pulled back, the deafening, thunderous eruption that followed seemed to shake Elsa's skull and body. The royal guard led the way through the entrance, the knights of Arne receding to follow Maren and Elsa still sandwiched in the middle.
The city was bursting, bodies leaching from every alley, doorway, and street. Not even this many people had been present for Elsa's coronation, and foreign nations had poured in even for that event. Her mind struggled to mathematically explain the surging crowds screaming before her, chanting her name. Wartime industry booms? Evacuation of secluded villages? Certainly they were not all present for just her?
Flags of green and purple bearing the golden crocus dangled from the windows of houses or waved above the heads of eager citizens. Dashes of electric blue caught Elsa's eye, and she recognized the sigil of the dragon from the Geirr. She gulped. Her sigil.
It was almost more embarrassing than her coronation. Almost.
Then she saw the statue. Elsa was openly gaping now.
Magnus had mentioned there was a statue of her, but she had formed no expectations when they had been in the middle of the ocean. Now that she was here, now that it was before her, she was absolutely bewildered.
It was massive, demanding immediate attention the moment one entered the city gates. Taller than the nearest homes and shop buildings, its presence towered above the innocent bystander. Elsa's marble twin stood, or rather, twirled in place. The artist had expertly manipulated the white material to show the wrinkled and draped fabric delicately stretching in some places. The curve of her body indicated a moment of action frozen in time, hand extended to the viewer with a snowflake balanced in her palm. A serpentine, scaly dragon twisted around her, the fierce head glaring over her shoulder, mouth agape, teeth brandished. Sculpted waves framed them both, as if any further flourish was needed.
The bottom pedestal read The Blue Dragon, Hero of the Siege of the Fjord.
Elsa frowned as they passed the statue. "That's…excessive."
"The queen made you the greatest martyr in history. A national hero," Maren intoned before muttering with a hint of annoyance, "I'm sure this parade of sorts was all her idea as well."
Elsa turned again, narrowing her eyes at the sculpture.
"But are my hips really that wide?" The question escaped her lips before she could stop herself.
When she glanced back, Maren had turned the other direction, her face and reaction hidden. Elsa hoped she hadn't heard the inquiry and was merely distracted with something else. Nokk, on the other hand, seemed rather pleased with their artistic representation as they cantered forward.
People continued to joyfully shout as they continued by, more flags, more streamers, more everything. Elsa tried to permanently affix a polite grin to her face, taking time to sweep her eyes across the crowds. Her duty as royalty never truly ended, but at least all she had to do was wave.
Another statue, a bit more modest, greeted them as they passed through the town center near the market. Elsa had seen this one before. Anna had installed the artwork on her coronation a few months ago, or rather, five years and a few months ago. A young girl and boy facing the world hand in hand. Northuldra and Arendelle together.
Their mother and father. Elsa truly smiled this time as she admired the masonry.
Come my darling homeward bound.
Her pulse quickened as she looked up to see the long bridge leading to the castle. Anna was waiting for her. Would she be relieved as Maren had predicted? Would she detest her for having left for so long?
What if time had stolen too much from them?
It was such a blur. The noise of the crowds. The doors opening and butlers and more guards rushing forward. They all bowed to her with exclamations of 'Highness!' in a chorus.
The doors slamming, the castle sucking them in, the screaming and shouting shut out and silenced. The scenery passed by too quickly. Walls she had seen since she grew up. Portraits she had memorized long ago, seemingly untouched. Servants continued to corral them forward, leading the way to the audience chamber. Elsa nervously looked over her shoulder, checking to ensure Maren was still there. The brunette nodded.
Bodies bowed, hands gestured to the entryway. As the duo stepped into the chamber, doors slammed shut behind them.
Then it was suddenly still. It was silent.
Each hesitant step forward heavily echoed in the large room, shattering the quiet before it anxiously returned. Elsa held her breath for fear of making too much noise as she inched forward to the center of the room.
The throne was empty. Eyes anxiously flew across the empty space. All the doors were shut, likely with guards behind them. All the rushing, and now they were to wait. Maren crossed her arms and seemed to settle in place calmly.
Elsa was about to burst.
"What if you're wrong? What if everything is different?" she dared to whisper.
She turned to face the woman beside her. Maren silently regarded her and her question before her eyes floated around the room.
She then quoted quietly, "'An act of true love can thaw a frozen heart.'"
Of course she knew the story, everyone did.
"That was so long ago."
"Love like that never goes away," Maren murmured more to the floor than her.
Elsa felt the hot shame flash through her veins. Her sister was alive. Maren's brother was not.
"I'm sorry, I'm being quite selfish."
She expected Maren to merely nod or shrug her off like last time. Instead she received a confused tilt of the head.
Elsa clarified, "My sibling is still alive. I should be thankful. I am. I just…" she paused, sighing when she couldn't find the words, "that was rude of me."
"I wasn't thinking of Ryder," Maren said slowly, eyes still sweeping the room as if checking her voice would not break something in the stillness.
Elsa held her breath, waiting. Waiting for Anna. Waiting for Maren to explain away all the uncertainty. Waiting for love. Waiting for time to continue forward. Waiting, always waiting, for something she couldn't name or fully understand.
Soreness seeped into her skull. She shuddered.
"You're here!"
The shout and echo made Elsa jump, whipping her head to the source of the sudden sound. Steps tapped loudly in the huge room as the new arrivals made their way across the floor.
Anna!
Amidst a handful of advisors, scribes, and personnel, the queen of Arendelle had finally arrived. Elsa's eyes went wide at the sight of her dear sister.
Anna's outfit was a copy of their father's, the embellished military jacket and trousers with regal flair and medals referencing their heraldry reserved for the royal family. However, rather than just the lining and fancy epaulettes delicately introducing a brassy accent, the entire outfit was coated in the blinding, glittering metallic hue. It was like staring into the sun. Her hair was twisted in one large braid that ran the length of her back, and even her copper locks had yellow ribbons interwoven with them. Most daunting of all was the gold eyepatch covering her left eye.
"Anna," Elsa stammered in shock, "Your Majesty."
She offered a small courtesy, but Anna quickly waved her to stand.
"Oh, Elsa."
The second Anna's arms embraced her, relief rocked through her entire body. Her sister hugged her tightly. Her sister who had always swore to be by her side as long as Elsa let her.
When they parted, she gripped her sibling's shoulders and held her at arm's length. She wasn't ready to let go.
She certainly wondered about her outfit. "You look different."
"Is it a good different?" Anna asked with a smirk.
Elsa recognized the words alluding to their first reunion. Anna seemed so young then, in her memory, compared to the eccentric woman of regal bearing that stood before her.
But the smile from her past was still there now. She was alive and strong.
This was her Anna. She was wrong to have been so nervous.
"Very good," Elsa choked slightly, blinking back tears.
"You haven't aged at all," she exclaimed before wiggling her eyebrows, "I guess I'm the older sister now."
"Never."
As they fully stepped back from their embrace, the queen turned to the woman standing at attention.
"Colonel."
Maren's countenance wrinkled in confusion.
"Yes, you."
"Your Majesty?"
Anna chuckled as she explained, "You found her and brought her home. You don't think that deserves a hefty promotion?"
Golden eyes glanced between the two sisters before settling on the ground. She bowed her head to her queen.
"She found me, Your Majesty."
"Then good thing we kept you around," Anna drawled playfully.
Elsa hoped to catch Maren's eye once more, but the Northuldra's posture remained formal, sight fixated on the ground.
An abrupt and dramatic cough echoed across the chamber from one of the corner entrances.
"Oh, I almost forgot," Anna turned and whispered to Elsa, "He asked me to summon him so you'd be surprised he's a ranked official now."
She then pointedly turned to the source of the sound, cleared her throat, and called out, "Steward!"
A white snowman immediately appeared from behind one of the columns, hobbling towards them excitedly.
"Olaf!" Elsa cried out, kneeling down and opening her arms wide. He immediately accepted her offer, jumping into the embrace.
"We missed you!" Olaf sang loudly as they hugged. He then muttered into Elsa's ear, "You have no idea how hard it's been being the only sane one around here."
She giggled, depositing him back on the ground and patting his head.
"I'm proud of you."
He beamed.
As Elsa stood back up, Anna declared to their small gathering, "I think a celebration for all of Arendelle is in order. The Blue Dragon has returned. We should have it right away. Tomorrow night?"
"Oh! I love a party!" Olaf cheered. The other members of the castle's staff began to eagerly scrawl our notes on their parchment.
The Blue Dragon, however, hesitantly commented, "That's really not necessary."
"But it is!" Anna countered excitedly, "The people, the world, need to know you're back. Talk about a morale boost." Her entourage was still hastily writing as she spoke.
There was no commanding tone, but Elsa realized the implication. This wasn't a welcome party her sister wanted to throw on her behalf. This was the will of a queen for her people. Elsa knew of the unspoken responsibility and conceded. The welcome parade, a party. She was a symbol now, just as she was long ago.
"If you think it'll help."
"I know it will. Come on, let's get some tea and catch up," Anna confidently grabbed Elsa's hand, beginning to walk away before calling over her shoulder, "Colonel, I trust you'll check in with the generals to fill them in on anything missing in Berglund's messages and standby in the meantime."
Elsa allowed herself to be dragged along towards one of the exits, but not without turning to look back at the woman who had brought her all this way.
Maren was bent forward in the proper bow one was expected to offer royalty as they departed, eyes and face respectfully downcast.
Elsa thought she saw a drop of water fall to the floor.
She blinked. There was nothing. The soldier rose as they further retreated, and she saw a brief smile as Olaf began to speak with her.
Elsa returned to facing forward, continuing to follow Anna as she pulled her along. Perhaps it was just a shadow in the light. Maren crying seemed impossible after all she had seen the fighter endure. Elsa knew she must be tired after the day's journey and excitement to even imagine something so ridiculous.
She followed Anna to one of the numerous sitting rooms available in the castle. While her sister appeared to have undergone some makeovers, she found the decor and general ambiance of the castle further in still unchanged. The furniture, while ornate and much too formal for her personal preference, was a welcome, comforting sight. They settled on a sofa together.
It was silent as a servant poured their tea.
Elsa found herself trying very hard to not look at her sister's face, afraid it would appear as if she was staring at the golden patch over her eye. And yet the social standard was to look one in the eye when speaking. She awkwardly darted her eyes around the room, to her sister, to the chair. Maren had told her some of what she missed, but clearly not everything.
Where did one start after five years?
As the servant departed, Anna picked up her tea cup and reclined back into the couch. After taking a sip, with a knowing smile, she said, "You might as well ask."
Elsa sighed in relief. She was silly, this was still her sister, her best friend.
With a sheepish grin, she asked, "What happened to your eye?"
"A stray arrow shattered against a stone wall near me, and the splinters ricocheted right in."
"Ow."
"I know," Anna gushed before shrugging, "Now, if I'm near a fight, I charge into it. Too risky to just standby."
Elsa glanced down at the glimmering fabric. "I guess that explains the uniform."
"It's all about image, right? Hard to look like a dainty, kind princess now, so the extravagant queen of battle is a better sell," Anna reasoned before taking another sip of tea.
"Remember when you thought the politics of the job were boring?" Elsa quipped, picking up her own cup.
Anna laughed, "They're still dreadfully boring. But at least I know how to use them now."
She was so confident and in control. Anna always had the wits and passion, but seeing her so skillfully at ease made Elsa feel proud. Anna had navigated one of the biggest wars in history since their grandfather all without her.
She had done a lot without her…
"I heard about the baby," Elsa mumbled, staring down at the teacup left untouched and resting on her lap, "I'm so sorry."
If her sister was surprised at the conversation shift, she didn't show it.
"Don't be. What kind of mother could I possibly be anyway with my attention on a war?"
Elsa replied softly, "I always thought you'd make a great mom."
"That was before," Anna stated simply before reaching out to touch Elsa's arm with a smile, "But thank you."
The eldest sister deeply admired the younger's strength. Anna had to be so strong without her. She tried to push the sadness welling in her chest deeper down.
Elsa set her tea back on the table before grabbing Anna's comforting hand and switching topics again. "Is Kristoff well?"
"He likes staying busy. It's easier now when there's always something to do. He's away meeting with some of the dukes for some critical funding. But he'll be back in time for the party tomorrow night," she squeezed Elsa's hand with a smile, "He'll be happy to see you."
Her sister was so calm, smiling this whole time. Her best friend was too kind, too forgiving.
Elsa swallowed hard, trying to choke out the one thing she had been waiting to say since the day she woke up.
"Anna, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you."
Confusion flashed across the queen's face, who promptly deposited her cup back to the tray before fully turning to her sister beside her, joining both their hands together.
"But you were. Arendelle would've fallen that day. You gave me time. And you came back," Anna explained, voice gentle, thumbs rubbing Elsa's hands.
"I still don't know what happened, or how," she rasped frantically, feeling the threat of tears.
"We can figure it out together. We can fight together now."
Without question or hesitation, Elsa found herself in her sister's full embrace, tucked safely in her arms, and began sobbing freely for the second time in only three days. Anna's hands rubbed her back, slowly rocking.
Time slowed. She cried until there was nothing left.
Her voice was shaky when she finally emerged. "I'm sorry."
"Seriously? I'm banning you from apologizing. Official royal decree."
A laugh bubbled past the remnants of tears. Elsa calmed her breathing, shaking her head, wiping away the last drops of moisture from her cheeks.
"I don't know what came over me."
"Five years' worth of survivor's guilt catching up with you, probably. Now that I'm technically older than you, wiser, and even been queen longer than you were, let me offer some sisterly advice," Anna teased, leaning back from their hug. Her hand returned to firmly gripping Elsa's.
"Don't pity us. You disappearing wasn't your fault. You coming back home, still fighting, that is a choice you consciously made. And I think it's a rather good choice," Anna surmised with a warm smile, "The people that love you are happy you're back. Purely happy. And we haven't had something like that in a long time."
"Honeyma-" Elsa stopped, adjusting with a huff, "Maren might feel otherwise."
Anna rolled her eye, patting Elsa's hand before she leaned forward to snag her tea once more.
"We've all been gloomy for a while, it might take some longer than others to remember how to be happy again. Plus, she's been looking for you for so long, she's probably stumped what to do now that you're back," the queen snickered as she brought the cup to her lips.
"What?"
"She didn't tell you? Of course not," was the signed response, "She asked me to go. She only joined the Army so she could go off into the world and look for you. Staying in that village wasn't going to cut it."
Elsa's lungs tightened, struggling. Maren had been looking for her? Left home and put herself in such danger, for her?
Anna continued, "Damn smart and an amazing fighter, she conquered anything I demanded her to, but it was all to find clues, interrogate the enemy if they had captured you, spot signs of magic that would lead us to you," she paused, leaning to bump her sister's shoulder with her own, "In moments of weakness, I doubted if you were alive. But never her."
Elsa wanted to cry again. She was so relieved. Maybe there was still hope.
"I assumed she had found someone else or changed her mind," she admitted, looking bashfully to the other woman.
Anna chuckled, "Nope. Maybe she thought I'd have her beheaded if she gave up on my sister."
When she noticed the look of horror on Elsa's face, she swatted at her sibling's arm.
"Kidding! Comes back from the dead twice and can't take a joke. Or tell another girl about a crush," she grumbled before coyly smirking over the rim of her cup, "You haven't changed at all."
Elsa felt her mouth curl upwards. She had missed this so much.
"You've changed a bit. But you're still always going to be my little baby sister."
"Baby?" Anna admonished, feigning hurt with a hand over her chest, "Remind me to have your statue knocked down."
"No, it's growing on me, the Blue Dragon thing. You and your propaganda team picked a good name," Elsa laughed, picking up her tea cup once more. This time, she actually took a sip.
"Olaf had lists of names before we decided. You were almost the Porcelain Swan," Anna crooned, devious smirk in place.
"Oh, no."
"Oh, yes."
Maren straightened the pins on her blouse for the fourth time. She was strongly resisting tugging at the collar again, instead pulling the white gloves tight on her fingers. The dress uniform never fit quite right despite being almost identical to the field version, except with extra flourishes of purple and small gold accents.
She peered between the curtains that separated the darkened hallway where she stood and the grand ballroom buzzing with people. Even with only a day's notice, almost every citizen was desperate to infiltrate the castle, maybe knock elbows with the queen or Blue Dragon. The entryway near her met an impressive staircase that the royal family and guests of high honor used for their dramatic entrances. A black suit partially blocked her view; the herald in charge of announcing everyone was standing by for the final, and most important, introductions.
Maren retreated back to the darkness. She fumbled with the pins a fifth time.
"The new metals look nice," a calm voice drifted down the hall.
The newly promoted colonel immediately bowed at the voice. "Thank you, Your Majesty."
Anna was too fixing the finishing touches on her outfit as she approached. The brilliant crimson red of her gown seemed bright even in the dim lighting. Her signature style of huge skirts billowed out like flames; the crinoline had surged in popularity in the past few years thanks to the queen's personal interests in fashion. In keeping with the laws limiting personal silver to support the war effort, her jewelry was all gold and rubies: Bracers for her wrists, large pendants dripping from her neck, a crown embedded in a blaze of ginger curls (that one could assume had taken hours at the hands of multiple hairdressers to complete). She even had gold spaulders mounted on her shoulders. Her eyepatch was lined with garnets.
Maren tried not to scoff at the forced metaphors of the fires of war. Even she had to admit, Anna knew how to appeal to her people, and they would eat up the imagery of the chic, battle-hardened queen.
"I got the gist of your adventures from the war council, we'll talk more tomorrow morning about the details," Anna mentioned half-heartedly as she attached a ruby earring the size of a plum to her ear lobe.
Maren remained at attention and merely nodded. She hadn't seen either of the sisters since they first arrived back to Arendelle yesterday.
The visual of Elsa walking away from her had been looping continuously in her mind since then.
"Good turnout?" the queen asked, nodding to the curtain while she affixed the earring's partner.
Another nod. Maren frowned as she craned her head to peek between the gap in the velvet fabric. So many people, all for Elsa.
As she turned back, Maren simply stated, "She'll be anxious."
Anna paused briefly in the act of adding a ring to her finger, glanced at Maren, then continued with her jewelry.
"We learned our duty at a young age. She knows this one night means critical funding and support," she intoned, inspecting her hand, "Thankfully, she's smart, and kind enough to forgive me for using her."
Anna's hands moved to rest on her heavily accented hips as she now pointedly stared at Maren.
"Kind of like how she'll forgive you for giving her the cold shoulder," she drawled with a raised eyebrow.
Maren looked guiltily down at her boots. "Not all of us should be forgiven."
Duty. How many had she killed in the name of duty?
Anna's voice softened as she replied, "You've given everything for her."
"She deserves more."
"She wants you."
If Elsa really knew of Maren the murderer, of Maren the monster, of the ninety-nine lives weighing on her soul…
"She wants a memory," Maren muttered sadly, looking up to the woman now shaking her head.
Anna sighed in frustration, choosing to vent her annoyance by fluffing her hair in further preparation for her entrance.
"As your queen and your friend, get over yourself. My sister isn't dumb," she noted bluntly, shooting a glare Maren's way.
"I know she isn't," Maren agreed somberly, "That's the problem. She's perfect."
"Who is?"
The new voice drew their attention down the hallway. The Prince Consort shuffled into view, hunching his shoulders to straighten his jacket. Maren bowed as he stepped closer.
Anna chastised with a click of her tongue, "Cutting it close, my love."
Kristoff blew a kiss, knowing better than to interfere with the queen's makeup, which had been applied rather heavy-handedly to match the intensity of her ensemble.
"Sorry. Wardrobe malfunction. Apparently dining the dukes the past few weeks did more damage than I realized," he said as a white gloved hand patted his belly before offering his arm, "Ready?"
"Always," Anna hummed, taking hold of her escort. As they walked past Maren to the curtain, she looked over her shoulder and sternly added, "Try and have some fun, for once."
The pit in Maren's stomach only worsened at the comment.
"Your Majesty, Your Highness." She bowed yet again as they made their exit to the glorifying cries of the gentlemen announcing their copious titles. Cheers and applause leaked into Maren's quiet little corner.
Duty. The high collar continued to choke at her neck.
Yelana had once boasted of duty to nation, to their people. Maren had been left to shape Northuldra's place in the world; instead she had simply left Northuldra. She carried home in heart because the sight of it made her sick, riddled with memories. As a leader, she was a failure.
Anna would agree to this purpose of duty. She served the country and the people. In a way, they were family, she was their mother. Family had always been the queen's duty after having felt the absence of it for so long after her parents died. Maren had failed long ago, when the Shadows tore her brother apart for leaving the village to save the reindeer while they were under attack. In duty to family, she failed.
In her duty to Ahtohallan and the spirits, perhaps she had not failed. Not quite. But this was not honorable; her service had only been in the name of one spirit, one woman.
Is that what remained? Duty to love? Hadn't that been what kept her going all these years?
Hadn't she swore she would bring Elsa home, no matter the cost? If the price was her soul, so be it. Her duty to her betrothed, her love, the woman that would save Arendelle and Northuldra countless times over…Elsa's life was worth every drop of spilled blood. Elsa's safety was worth her despising Maren for what she became. Elsa's love certainly belonged to her people, her family, her spirits, all her other duties that were far more deserving than Maren would ever hope to be.
She had to leave. For Elsa, for her love. In this duty, she could not fail.
But what was she going to do?
"Sorry I'm late."
This new, breathless voice behind her made her heart ache even more deeply. Maren turned around, dreading whatever gorgeous blue gown she was about to see donned on the gorgeous figure that tormented her.
Shockingly, it wasn't blue.
If starlight was silk, it slinked across Elsa's body now. Maren had never seen fabric shimmer with such luminosity, as if opal or moonstone had been liquified to dye cloth. The silvery sheath began high on her neck before draping down her chest and hips, hinting at tasteful curves while revealing none. Instead, the pink skin of only Elsa's arms was on display given the lack of sleeves, along with the hint of a leg through the slit in her long, sleek skirt. The simple heel she wore looked like pure glass. A platinum bangle in the shape of a twisting dragon adorned her bicep. Blonde locks were free flowing save for two tassels braided from front to back, small snowflakes glistening on the strands.
Maren swallowed hard as she caught the briefest view of Elsa's back as she turned in place to straighten out her skirt. The halter style respectfully covered the front, but the back was enticingly low cut. The great expanse of creamy skin was torturous.
She looked like a goddess or queen of old from the Arendellian fairy tales. Maren wondered if perhaps she had finally died, whisked away in Ahtohallan's arms. Surely this was the paradise of the afterlife standing just before her.
Elsa, oblivious as always, was nervously rambling as she looked down at her spellwork, "It was the best I could do on short notice. Anna's designers had me look at at some drawings, but they started going on about motifs and patterns-"
"You look stunning," Maren muttered. It was all she could say. All other energies were dedicated to keeping her upright and breathing.
Love and need choked her now.
Elsa offered her sweet, reserved smile as she softly replied, "Thank you. You look very nice."
Maren struggled to look anywhere but her. The rosy cheeks, the scarlet lips, the smell of vanilla and mint…all were choking her.
"Shall we?" she asked, offering her arm.
Elsa stepped to her, loosely clasping her escort. Together, they moved to face the curtain. She was breathing very deeply in an overly controlled manner; it was obvious she was nervous. Maren chewed the inside of her mouth at Elsa's plight.
She was damned either way. She would just have to bury her own feelings until Elsa was safely delivered to her sister, once again.
Duty called.
"Just squeeze."
"Pardon?"
Maren slightly lifted the limb that Elsa's hands lightly held. "Grip my arm as tight as you can."
"I don't want to hurt you," Elsa replied hesitantly, looking uncertain.
"I can take it," Maren nodded, glancing from the portal to the other woman, "You're nervous."
Elsa's chest rose and fell with another troubled sigh. The fingers on Maren's arm began to grip a bit harder.
"This part is always hard," she murmured, eyes wide with the brutal truth Maren already understood.
"I know."
"I left them."
"You saved them," Maren assured her, looking fully at the blonde now, "You gave them almost everything, and you still have to give more. It's not fair they always need more. I'm sorry. But it'll be over soon."
Blue eyes stared back at her. Perhaps too much of Maren's jealousy had leached into her voice. The world needed so much, too much, from the woman she loved, and Elsa always gave it so willingly.
The smallest of smiles accompanied the whispered, "Thank you."
After a nod, Maren subtly drew the attention of the servant standing just outside the curtain, nodding that they were ready.
He called the attention of the crowd.
"Introductions are so frivolous. I should've lost my title when I abdicated," Elsa sighed quietly, actually sounding annoyed.
"They have to spit mine out first. It's almost as long as yours now that the castle's publicity team has updated it," Maren mumbled back.
The castle crier cleared his throat and projected, "Introducing Colonel of the Arendelle Royal Army, Silver Hand to her Royal Majesty Queen Anna, Keeper of Light to the People of the Sun, Leader of Northuldra, Lady Maren. Escorting…"
As the man paused to inhale, a hush fell over the crowd.
"Keeper of Light?" Elsa whispered incredulously, hints of a smirk gracing her face.
The mocking voice in Maren's head reminded she was a fraud, just as fake as the title to be the head of her people.
She just had to last a little longer.
"Told you before they were silly," she murmured to the other woman, "just wait for yours."
"Her Royal Highness of Arendelle, Eldest Daughter of their Late Majesties King Agnarr and Queen Iduna, The Blue Dragon, Hero of the Siege of the Fjord, Spirit of Ice, and Keeper of the Forest of Northuldra, Lady Elsa!"
Fingers dug into Maren's arm as they stepped into the light.
The noise was deafening. The movement and buzzing of the crowd below did not tempt Maren; her eyes, like everyone else's in the room, were firmly upon Elsa. The cool, reserved smile, the regally lifted chin, the polite bow of the head at the cheers of her name. Once-Queen. Powerful Spirit. To a bystander, she suavely accepted their reverence.
The vice grip on her forearm, the nails threatening to puncture the fabric of her uniform, these told Maren the truth. She knew well when the wrinkled eyes and curved lips spoke either of true mirth or the mask Elsa wore.
Her hand covered Elsa's glued to her arm without thought. Their eyes briefly locked. Love and duty stung like sour bile in Maren's stomach.
The ever proper escort, she led Elsa to the steps before descending down the sweeping staircase to the swelling ballroom. Queen and country awaited their hero. Anna's hand was outstretched to symbolically accept the return of her sister in front of their people.
Elsa's clinging lessened, hands falling to her skirt. The former monarch curtseyed to her replacement. Maren bowed deeply beside her. They performed their parts. Anna eagerly took her sister's hand, and began to speak to the audience.
Maren faded into the sea of people.
Her duty was almost complete. It was time to say goodbye.
Elsa really missed Northuldra's forest. It was quiet and peaceful. Even the village was calming on the busiest days. Admittedly, people still stared and asked her questions, but Elsa was oddly more comfortable being subject to attention as a representative of the spirits and nature than any political official.
One could also consider the matter of population. Arendelle dwarfed Northuldra. And every citizen of Arendelle seemed packed into every crevice of the castle this evening.
There was something about being amongst so many people that made her nerves feel raw and exposed. Each word they spoke poked and prodded like a grimy finger. Elsa's feelings were not their fault…but even knowing their actions were blameless did not help alleviate her reactions to them.
"By the Five, just in the water? Floating there?"
"Yes, the fine sailors of our Navy did a great job pulling me to their ship and rescuing me," Elsa responded perhaps too chipperly, having just regaled the tale of her return to the world at the behest of the couple she now spoke with.
In fact, quite a few people had circled around now. She suspected guests were eager and too impatient to queue a line, choosing swarming tactics instead. Servants drifted through them with serving trays of beverages and foodstuffs.
The woman who had just gasped at Elsa's story seconds before snatched a glass of wine and asked, "Would you like one, Your Highness?"
"Oh, I don't really drink."
"Not at all?" the gentleman beside her questioned. The both looked aghast at the concept of sobriety.
Elsa floundered, reaching for a suitable response.
"Well, I partook in my first a few days ago, actually."
"How exciting!"
It wasn't. It was the only way she thought to jar her senses and stop a full blown meltdown from waking up after five years. Johansen's rum had tasted abominable enough to shock her into reality.
But she couldn't say that.
"It was certainly an experience," she stated evenly.
An older gentleman beside them added excitedly, "One should enjoy the luxuries in life. Especially in a war, there's no time like the present."
Elsa forced a smile, an alien to this proposed mentality.
Normal people could afford to be drunk, be lost in their senses, lose control. Elsa sneezed and accidentally created living snowmen. Getting drunk could bring about the ice age apocalypse, no matter how skilled she had grown, how much control she had mastered.
But she also couldn't say that.
"Indeed." Her voice was practically a squeak.
Another woman shrilly agreed, "Oh, yes. Speaking of luxuries, the latest craze in Corona are these delightful pickled oranges-"
Elsa internally screamed. Bruni, Gale, and Nokk wondered in awe at the complexity of human culture and social interactions.
Exits and entrances were secure, guards remained at their posts. Royals mingled and both obvious and discrete security stoodby. No guests appeared suspicious.
Maren sighed, leaning further against the wall in the corner of the ballroom. She wasn't supposed to be working, but it was all she could do to not focus on the growing knot in her stomach. Her eyes kept scanning the crowds as she remained rooted to her little spot, arms crossed, frown firmly in place. The servants had stopped offering her drinks after she glared enough times.
Elsa was currently nodding at something someone was saying to her. Maren couldn't see her eyes at this distance, but she didn't need to. Straight back, clasped hands, ridgid shoulders. The visual discomfort made the viewer tense. There was nothing she could do to fix it. She had no right to fix it. She never did.
Maybe she could use a drink after all.
"Aren't you going to ask her to dance?"
The voice below her caught Maren off guard, but the trained officer only briefly flinched as her body and mind caught up. This was afterall the one person that likely would not judge her for staring.
"She's busy."
Olaf sighed wistfully, "I love dancing. It's like a warm hug that moves."
Maren snorted. He always said that. He had said it at least a hundred times when he taught her dance years ago.
After a moment, she glanced down at her friend. "Do you want to dance?"
"Maybe later. I just drank like ten goblets from the chocolate fountain," he groaned as he hoisted himself up to a nearby chair.
Maren raised an eyebrow, lightly chastising, "You're supposed to dip the fruit in it."
"You're not my boss," he intoned darkly.
With an eye roll, she turned back to the chaotic ballroom. The swaying sea of people, the swirling dancers, the cracks of laughter, all of it spinning like one massive storm to the single eye, the true center.
Elsa.
Maren felt like she was drowning. What was she going to do?
"I was joking, you know," came softly next to her.
"I know, buddy."
"You're sad," Olaf observed patiently.
It would have been easy to offer an excuse. There was one on the edge of Maren's lips. And yet, she found herself turning somberly to her friend.
"I have to do something I don't want to do."
"Then don't do it," he quipped with a shrug.
An empty laugh tumbled from Maren's mouth. "I have to."
"Why?"
She winced, trying to find the words, trying to reason with the logic of a snowman. "I need to. It's important."
"Then do it really quickly so you can get it over with," he replied matter of factly, contently swaying his two snowball feet upon his chair.
Maren sighed. In his defense, the advice was logically sound.
She surveyed the room once more. Another glance, her last one, as she kept telling herself. One last look, one last moment.
"Olaf," she mumbled, "When Elsa was frozen in Ahtohallan, and you knew you were…"
"Dying," he finished merrily.
"Yes. You didn't want to leave, but you had to. How did you know what to say to Anna? As you were leaving?"
Olaf turned his large eyes to the dancefloor, tilting his head in thought.
"I guess I told her what she needed to hear to keep going. I could've freaked out and made it all about me," he explained, twigs gesturing excitedly, "You know, about me dying. My imminent demise. Existential questions about the afterlife for snowmen. Like, seriously, where do you think I went between the time I melted and Elsa reconstructed me because I really think-"
"Olaf."
"Right," he refocused, looking at Maren, "But anyway. I chose to help Anna so she'd be able to move on after I died. Like I always say, love is putting someone else's needs before your own," he finished sagely.
Love.
Maren nodded and turned back to the fray.
Her duty to love, to Elsa. To serve her needs before her own. Yes, Olaf was right.
She watched as the blonde politely smiled at a group of new guests.
Elsa needed someone who wasn't broken. Elsa needed to be safe and happy, without the woman who brought death and misery.
People continued to hover around the princess, basking in her glory. People Elsa had almost died for. People she came back for. Arednelle, Northuldra, the world. Elsa's love, strength, and kindness belonged to them.
How could Maren ever be enough in the face of the woman who was everything?
One last look, one last goodbye. For love.
Maren snatched a drink from a nearby servant and downed it in one gulp.
Mingling was draining. Elsa no longer felt nervous, just tired from the onslaught of polite conversation. A rather steady headache had formed in the center of her forehead. However, with each new face, she readied her own, wanting each citizen to feel deserving of their own special smile from the Blue Dragon herself.
Still. One could only rehash the same topics so many times. Elsa blinked repeatedly, struggling to keep up.
"Pardon the interruption," a kind but firm voice broke through the masses, a familiar head of blonde hair poking through the way that immediately cleared for him.
Elsa genuinely smiled now, no mask required. Kristoff. Perhaps older around the eyes, a bit rounder in the middle, and a sporting tad more polish than she remembered the ice carver bearing, but this was her friend nonetheless.
He flashed a charismatic smile as he slid up to her, speaking to their guests, "I swore I would lead Lady Elsa through her first dance to this very song, and I am a man of my word. She's been looking forward to it all day."
A woman before them crooned immediately, "But, of course, Your Highness!"
Her sister's husband pointedly looked at her, offering his hand.
Elsa cleared her throat, grasping his hand, "Oh, yes, yes I have. Excuse me."
He whisked her away to safety. While still in the public eye, she found relief in the open space of the dancefloor and Kristoff's kind smile. She had truly missed him.
"Sorry I wasn't here when you arrived at the castle. I just got back myself," he explained cheerfully, assuming the proper position with his other hand on her back,"You look great!"
"You too. Thank you for rescuing me," she said with a small smile, grabbing his shoulder, allowing herself to be led into a light polka-like dance. She was certainly no connoisseur, but the small steps were easy enough to follow with Kristoff despite not knowing the song.
Missing the top musical hits in the past five years were the least of her concerns.
"Don't mention it. You're my favorite sister-in-law. And maybe one of the few people I don't have to sound so stuffy for," he replied with a chuckle.
She shook her head. "I haven't gotten the chance to apologize or thank you for a lot."
"Like what?"
"Missing your wedding. Being there for Anna. We were always the two that tried to talk sense into her when she had a wild idea," she reasoned, wincing at her dance partner, "You've been on your own on that front."
"Oh geez, remember that time with the pudding?"
She giggled. "That ambassador never looked me in the eye after that."
Kristoff laughed as well before giving Elsa a small spin. He looked contemplative as they returned to the simple, swaying motion.
"You know, life is weird. Sometimes you grow into something different. But I think we both grew into people that could be together while still being there for our country. She's so strong. Sometimes she still needs a dose of reality. But whenever I was stuck, I tried to think what you would say. And in the end, I decided you probably would've known when to just have her back," he explained with his lopsided grin.
Elsa had always known their marriage would be happy and successful, even if war had tested them. She recalled Anna's new confident posture but the same old kindness in her words.
"She told me not to be sorry. I still feel guilty," Elsa admitted as they turned with the melody.
"You always did."
When she felt her face contort with an unasked query, Kristoff instead offered his own question.
"Did I ever tell you about my parents? I told Anna ages ago, but it's not a fond memory."
"I suspected so, given you were adopted by magical trolls, but I didn't want to presume or push."
"Well, thank you. I don't remember much honestly. By the time I was born, my dad had already been in a big war like this one. Under your granddad. He was pretty young, but there had been a draft or something," he explained calmly as they moved slowly across the dance floor, "He came back, got a wife, had a kid, but apparently he was never right, you know?"
Kristoff's expression grew more serious as he stared over Elsa's shoulder.
"Spooked easy, got mad. Drank a lot," he continued before wincing slightly, "He ended up putting a ton of nightshade in his mead one night. He didn't wake up."
"I'm sorry."
Kristoff shook his head. "I really don't remember him that much. Barely remember Mom. She tried to find work cutting the ice after that, but she wasn't built for it. Got really sick. Didn't make it. The ice guys took me in for a bit. Then I found Pabbie and the trolls," his voice grew distant before he looked directly at Elsa and said, "The point is, I still feel guilty for what happened to them."
"But you were so young, it wasn't your fault."
His eyes grew wide, and he firmly nodded.
"Exactly. It wasn't my fault. Their choices, their actions, they weren't my fault," he slowed their movements as he accentuated each word to Elsa, "Your parents actions, not your fault. This war, not your fault."
The death of her parents. Having magic after generations of hatred towards the arcane, starting with her own grandfather. Leaving the people she loved behind to save them.
"You were getting better at it, but I think this whole thing made you forget, sometimes, you just gotta let it go," Kristoff said gently, squeezing their joined hands, "Face it. Acknowledge it. But let it go."
Her family had completely accepted her back. She could almost forgive herself in the wake of their kindness. For the millionth time that week, Elsa blinked back tears, sniffing before a laugh tumbled forward at her own silliness.
"You turned into a fine prince," she whispered, patting his shoulder.
He shrugged and quipped back, "Sven's a good therapist."
They shared another laugh, and Kristoff added a final flourish and spin as the music slowly slid to silence. A beat passed, and a new melody sprung awake. While Elsa hoped they could continue speaking in partial seclusion, she noticed her partner's eyes dart over her shoulder.
"Excuse me, Your Highnesses. May I?"
Maren.
Elsa turned to see the woman finishing her bow. As she rose, her eyes were firmly set upon the princess. The intensity made Elsa deliciously dizzy. She nodded in acceptance.
She glanced back at her brother-in-law, hoping it wasn't too obvious she was on the verge of swooning like a young, lovesick girl. Kristoff winked at her before he nodded to the newcomer and took his leave.
Maren offered her hand, and Elsa reached out with her own. When the Northuldran took a step forward, the line between formality and familiarity blurred as their frames brushed. The smell of pine. The honey irises. The scar kissing taupe lips. New and old sensations hit her all at once. She gripped Maren's shoulder as another hand slid delectably down her back.
They began to move.
Elsa knew this song. It was old, even by her newly handicapped standards. The previous dance had been light, fun, easy. This one was bold and heavy, seductive cellos and alluring strings speaking of longing and desire.
It seemed fitting the only person to ever inspire those feelings was now holding her very, very close.
There had been a few stolen glances since her return, but nothing like this. Nothing like the heat that had once ached her soul's core when she looked at Honeymaren's strong body, touched her hand in the fields, or shared smiles by the Northuldran fire.
Passion. She had been hiding it, keeping it secret but kindled. But now, Maren was touching her while looking gallant in her officer's uniform, staring so intensely at her, Elsa couldn't look away. Their bodies pressed together as Maren guided them across the floor, cheeks brushed. She was sure the whole ballroom could hear the thundering of her heart.
"You've gotten quite good," she breathed more than spoke. There was so little space between them. She wished there was even less.
"More practice at formal functions, unfortunately," Maren grumbled in her ear.
"I thought you used to enjoy it."
"These ordeals always felt like a waste when there was a war going on. I thought I had better things to do," she explained quietly, eyes still unwavering from Elsa's, "The company wasn't the same."
Warmth made the Ice spirit shiver. They separated briefly for a quick spin in tune with the rhythm.
As they grew back together, Maren licked her lips before she uttered, "I wanted to thank you for saving my life."
"Of course."
Then, for the first time, Maren looked away.
"I'll be asking Her Majesty's permission to return to the front as quickly as possible, tomorrow hopefully."
Heat was gone, extinguished.
Elsa felt like a Shadow had just punched her in the gut. She leaned back with their next steps, desperate for air.
"Why?" she choked out.
Maren intoned too calmly, "My task is complete. I need to fulfil my other duties."
"What? No. You should be here," Elsa stammered, trying to keep up with her racing mind and speeding heart.
Anna wouldn't have given her false hope that Maren still cared for her.
"I'll be more useful elsewhere," Maren replied sternly. They were barely swaying now.
"We need you here. I need you here." Her tone was growing frantic.
"You don't need me." Maren sounded almost frustrated.
"Isn't that my right to decide?"
They stopped. The blazing crescendo and crowd's murmur seemed so far away as Elsa's ears rang. Maren took a step back, staring at their linked hands between them. Elsa's other arm dangled lamely at her side.
"I didn't want to intrude on your night and family any further," the Northuldran's voice was hollow, "This is goodbye, Your Highness. Please enjoy the ball."
The gloved hand released Elsa's. The colonel bowed, turned on her heel, and walked aggressively to the exit.
Once again, Maren had walked away and left her alone. The throngs of people only accentuated her loneliness.
But what could she do? Maybe Maren knew Elsa wouldn't risk embarrassing her sister by making a scene and chasing after her. That she would just be the good girl she always had to be.
New heat flickered and seethed.
No. Fate or time had taken so much from her. She refused to lose Maren. She was sick of being tossed around by the forces of the world. She was taking control of her own life.
She was done letting her guilt stop her.
Anger pushed her towards the open entryway doors. Citizens that drifted by mysteriously turned away once they got close. Maybe, for once, her feelings were grossly apparent on her face.
She emerged into the main entrance hall, dusky with the mix of nocturnal darkness and warm candlelight. In her peripheral, she noticed the familiar uniform dipping down another hallway, and she marched forward determinedly to follow. When she rounded the corner, Maren was still shuffling away, silhouetted by the shadows and flickering braziers lining the walls.
Elsa called out, "Why are you just running away? Why won't you talk to me?"
Maren's dark outline stopped abruptly, clearly surprised. When the shock wore off, her shoulders and form seemed to slump.
Her pursuer stalked down the narrow hallway. Not usually one for confrontation, Elsa felt her stomach twist, but she needed answers.
Maren slowly glanced over her shoulder.
"What would you have me say, My Lady?"
Elsa took a quick breath, trying to remain calm but firm. She needed to know.
"Tell me why you've grown to hate me."
Maren turned to face her completely now, but her voice was still quiet. "I could never hate you."
"Resent me then," Elsa countered sternly, taking a step closer, "You look at me and touch me and it feels so much like how I remember. But then your words are so bitter."
"I don't resent you," she pronounced each word slowly, as if strained.
"Then why won't you let me in?" Elsa murmured, taking another step. They were close.
Maren flinched. "I can't."
"Can't? Or won't?"
"My Lady-"
"Where's the Honeymaren I knew?"
"She's dead!"
The shout faded into the quiet of the hallway, only echoes from the party disrupting the new silence. Tears welled in the wild, wide eyes. Maren immediately turned her head, screwing her eyes shut.
"She's dead, the herder you knew...I don't know much of her is left. I had to kill most of her to survive this. I've had to kill so much," she whispered fiercely, tearing streaming down her cheeks, "You deserve better than the leftover scraps of a person who's gone. You shouldn't have to settle in life for the memory of a ghost."
Maren inhaled deeply, struggling to calm her breathing. She straightened and stubbornly continued, "I could die in peace now knowing you are alive and delivered to your sister. I've fulfilled my vows."
Elsa swallowed as she tugged the acorn necklace free from the high neck of her dress.
"What about this vow?"
Maren took a harrowing breath as her eyes fell to the pendant now lying upon Elsa's chest. Her countenance crumpled, and the last of any defiance escaped her body as she sighed pitifully.
Her voice was barely audible as she murmured, "How could you love a monster?"
Elsa inched forward and asked quietly, "How did you?"
"You were never a monster," Maren said as her eyes flashed to Elsa's, her pitch soft but her tone resolute.
Witch. Demon. Monster. Elsa had been called worse. She had seen them when she looked in the mirror. These past phantoms sometimes still crawled and itched in her mind. But Maren's declaration left no doubt. Honeymaren's smile had always chased the darkness away.
"Then trust me, neither are you," she replied gently, lifting a tentative hand to Maren's cheek. When the other woman did not turn away, she confidently brushed away the tears with her thumb.
"I just see the same strong woman that always made me feel safe and worthy," Elsa continued, tilting Maren's face so their eyes met, "Everything you've done has always come from a desire to do good. Even when I was gone, you were still fighting for me. Whether by sword or by silly dancing, you always bring hope, you are still honorable and noble, you are…" she slowed her ranting, licking her lips.
Elsa gulped down the last of her insecurities. It was time.
"You are the woman I love," she finished, breathless.
The woman in question shuddered beneath her fingertips at the admission.
Maren's hand moved to rest atop of Elsa's still against her cheek.
"I never got to say it," she mumbled dumbly.
Elsa felt life return to Maren's body. Her other hand brushed against Elsa's lower back, her arm wrapping around her torso tightly. She was already leaning in closer before the Northuldran pulled her against her.
"I love you so much. It's...it's never changed, never lessened," Maren whispered as their noises brushed, "I love you."
Their lips crashed clumsily against each other.
It had been worth the wait.
Slow and tentative, if not a bit fumbling, Elsa learned the delight of smooth, sweet skin moving against her own. The warm embrace of Maren's arms made her feel secure and cherished. The exchange of trembling breaths as their lips parted to accept more of each other made her lightheaded.
A pause, a hum. Foreheads rested against each other. Another peck and brush of the lips. Elsa registered the briefest taste of saltwater, and her hand instinctively stroked away the last of the sad dampness from Maren's face, who sighed happily against her, kissing her again. And again.
Sensitive to shifts in the cosmos and all matters of natural balance, Elsa was very aware when the kisses deepended, their breathing grew heavier, and Maren's hands started roaming her body. They both seemed to staggeringly reach out for the wall nearby, and the Blue Dragon felt no shame in exerting her superior strength to shove Maren against the surface. She eagerly swallowed the resulting gasp with her tongue. The fire she felt on the dancefloor quickly returned.
Her thoughts emptied, and her mind cleared. No spirits, no doubts, no impending doom. The need and desire happily took over. Heat continued to build, and the Ice spirit gladly continued to stoke the fire.
Voices carried down the hallway.
Elsa jerked away, whipping her head to the sound. The trained ranger, however, smartly and swiftly flipped their positions, pressing the blonde to the wall before leaning her shoulder against the flagstone as well. Any onlookers would simply see the back of an officer of Arendelle.
Or so Elsa guessed in the fraction of a second that logic entered her brain. It immediately fluttered away again, and she freely raked her eyes across Maren's face hovering close by. She was finding it difficult to care if anyone found them when the Northuldran was breathing raggedly and looking as if she would devour her.
The voices down the hallway drifted father and farther away until all that remained was the sound of their own panting.
"Perhaps we should relocate?" Elsa asked hoarsely.
Maren nodded, maintaining the little distance that remained between them. She responsibly asked, "Would you like to return to the party?"
"No," Elsa answered much too eagerly and quickly, inciting a smirk from Maren. Who needed dignity?
"My room is closer," was the simple reply as Maren outstretched her hand.
Elsa took it without question.
She had always been well-behaved as a child, excusing the occasional bursts of magic. Even when her and Anna were notorious for turning the smaller ballroom into a snowy playground, she was the conscious rule follower, simply too timid to resist her persistent sister. As a teenager, she barely left her room, much less considered any devious activities.
There was a delightful thrill in breaking the rules. Maren pulled her along the hallway, leading her by her hand, pausing at each intersection and checking corners. Like sneaking thieves in the night, they hugged the shadows, stealing kisses and avoiding detection. She muffled her giggles every time Maren tucked them into a doorway or alcove, pressing her against the wall, impatient lips brushing her skin.
It was a miracle they made it to the colonel's room.
Just another guest room in the castle, Elsa had no desire to inspect the space. As soon as the door shut behind them, her back was against the wood, and she was gladly focusing all her attention on the woman cupping her face and kissing her like the world was ending.
Elsa took the hand on her cheek, and Maren paused in her pillaging of her mouth. Starting with each individual finger, she loosened the glove from Maren's hand, eventually removing the white fabric and tossing it to the ground. She then placed the hand back on her cheek, sighing into the sensation of finally feeling the woman she loved truly touching her. While Maren stroked her face with the newly freed hand, Elsa liberated the other.
Once the other limb was liberated, Maren pulled back slightly, dropping her hand from Elsa's face, leaning against the nearby wall with her shoulder.
"Hey."
Elsa snickered at the less than suave segue, but it did little to dampen the mood. Maren's voice was husky with something she found intoxicating.
"Hello," she quipped back.
Maren breathed a light laugh before asking, "You're sure about this? I don't want to pressure you. We can wait."
Heated ebbed ever so slightly. Cool air filled Elsa's lungs. If the fire was to recede, now was the time.
And yet her resolve did not change.
"I think five years was plenty of waiting," she chuckled.
When Maren inhaled deeply and slowly in response, panic flashed and she began to backtrack, "Assuming you waited. I would understand if-"
Hands immediately grabbed hers, thumbs rubbing reassuring circles on her skin.
"I waited," Maren said firmly, before glancing down at their joined hands, "It's just a bit embarrassing to admit."
Warmth easily returned to Elsa.
"It's sweet."
"It's embarrassing. Your sister said I was grouchy and offered to pay for a brothel visit. I declined," she grunted pointedly.
Elsa smiled, shaking her head.
"That was a long time to wait," she commented softly, transferring Maren's hands to her hips.
She heard the slow inhale once more but felt no alarm this time. As she now looked into the dark pupils and saw the same hunger she felt, she realized Maren struggled not to submit to the heat. Fingers moved against her hips to her waist and up her spine, touching the skin of her exposed back in the low cut of her dress.
Elsa sighed in agonized bliss. Was this what snow felt like when it melted?
"I would wait forever for you," Maren whispered, leaning close, nose brushing Elsa's ear.
The other woman wrapped her arms around the Northuldran's shoulders.
"I don't want to wait. I'm an adult. I know what happens next," Elsa asserted before shyly murmuring, "Even if it's admittedly from books that were carefully hidden in the library and some very interesting conversations with Anna."
Maren smiled, tightening her arms now around Elsa's torso.
"Books can't be much worse than what I stumbled upon as an awkward teenager," she mumbled with a smirk.
"We can figure it out together," Elsa whispered, simmering in the adoring, golden eyes staring at her, "I trust you."
"I love you."
"And I, you."
A kiss sealed the declarations once more before evolving into another and another until Elsa lost count. Her fingers fluffed the short locks of the brunette's cropped hair before feeling down the base of her neck; she wanted to learn every inch. She gripped at the muscles of Maren's shoulders and arms beneath the uniform as hands pushed against her lower back and lips scalded her neck.
It wasn't enough.
Something sparked inside her, and she roughly pawed at Maren's belt, tightly gripping the leather. Hands joined hers, and together they wrestled to unclip the buckle. While Maren unlaced the accessory through the loops of her pants, Elsa moved on to hastily unbuttoning the blouse. She barely resisted just ripping the buttons off, the ornate, embellished style making them fat and clumsy to handle.
They were slowly backing towards the bed, both fighting Maren's sleeves to yank the clothing off of her. The shortened chemise underneath quickly followed. By the time their legs hit the foot of the bed, and Elsa promptly pushed Maren to sit, all that remained were the unfastened pants and boots.
They paused, and Elsa's eyes fell to Maren's body. The fighter's athletic frame had once tempted her. Now it completely snared her. Not just because the muscles were impressively shaped (though she was very ready to explore them) but because she knew they had been in service to her. To find her. The scars that decorated the skin were bravely earned for her. The femininity and beauty of her shape had desired her, endured for her.
Maren sat and patiently waited, just as she always had. Elsa's heart was boiling, her whole body scalding with lust and love for this woman. And yet she deserved to be savored.
The princess knelt to the floor and began removing one of her partner's boots. When Maren leaned forward to assist with the other, Elsa gently stopped her with a hand. The Northuldran raised an eyebrow but did not speak to question the action.
Elsa continued her work steadily, no longer rushing and desperate. When one boot was gone, she repeated the process with the other. Once complete, she gingerly tugged on the legs of Maren's trousers, and the wearer lifted slightly from the bed to allow them to be removed. The simple braies undergarment followed.
Fingers traced the bone of ankles to the swell of calves, swirled around the knees riddled with marks, and slowly inched across naked thighs. Maren shivered but did not interfere as the spirit offered her own form of worship.
Elsa slowly rose. Under Maren's heavy-lidded gaze, she did not feel shy or nervous or scared. There was no fear and no need to conceal herself.
Her hand slowly lifted to her neck, and a sole finger tapped her throat. The fabric of her dress began to drift into flakes of snow, the magic rolling down the length of her body, melting away the clothing until all that remained was the acorn necklace.
Lips parted. Eyes flickered across the entirety of her body before they met her own. Maren's chest swelled with deep breaths but no words came. They no longer needed them.
Love was shimmering brightly in her amber eyes.
When Maren extended a hand out to her, Elsa easily stepped forward and entered the awaiting embrace, finally merging their bodies once more, falling together onto the bed.
Like an awakening volcano, what little remained dormant was now churning and molten. She was quickly learning how the flame and the heat filled her heart and belly. Fire was greedy, consuming and needing more and more. Elsa could barely sate one need before she was desperately suffocating with desire for the next. She moved ravenously, and her partner easily matched her fervor. Where she ended and Maren began, began to grow smoky and blurry.
She kissed the length of the scar along Maren's cheek, and she brushed her fingertips where it met Maren's top lip. When she discovered more on her soldier's back and stomach, she eagerly traced them with her tongue. She had no idea how Maren smelled so much like the forest they both missed and called home, but she enveloped herself in it and her lover. As fire burned her, she nipped at Maren's neck, scratched at her back, and rubbed their searing hot skin together. Need consumed and stung her, and they moaned together through the burning.
There was no hesitation or anxiety as she submitted to Maren pinning her down to the bed. Heated breaths greeted her neck before lips and tongue and teeth descended upon her, attacking her throat and collarbones. Hot lava poured down her body in tandem with Maren's mouth over and between the swell of her breasts. Scorching kisses to her ribs and naval left her trembling, and yet the sweltering tongue kept descending to blister the skin of her hips. Elsa found it near impossible to remain silent, to stop the noise bubbling out of her mouth like an eruption. She wanted to sing. She wanted to scream.
Maren's face felt like magma on the inside of her thighs. Golden eyes looked up, and Elsa held her breath. A hand snaked back up her torso, lacing with her fingers. Another gripped at her leg.
Maren sighed lovingly at her center, hot and humid. Wildfire, no, hellfire blasted through her.
Well-behaved Elsa. Never drunk. Always in control.
Out of all the elements, Fire was most difficult for Ice to understand. Passion without guilt. Surrendering control to sensation and feeling without question. Her greatest fear.
The last shred of control stood before the dancing flame, the tongue that pressed against her, blazing and exquisite.
Love. Love was so much better than fear.
Elsa gave in completely to the fire.
Something wet hit Maren's cheek.
As she stirred awake and opened her eyes, she frowned at the white smoke swirling in the corners of her room. Blinking away the sleep from her eyes, she focused more closely in the dark room, sitting up on her elbows.
Little flurries of snow were harmlessly dancing around in the window's moonlight and falling to the carpet.
Maren glanced at the woman still sound asleep beside her. Elsa faced her, mouth agape and breathing in a manner on the verge of snoring. Blonde waves splashed hazardously across her pillow, and the sheet was barely raised above her waist.
Maren smiled. The dreamily floating snow moved in sync with Elsa's breathing, flurrying with each inhale, gently drifting down with each exhale. The air was delightfully cool on Maren's warm skin now emerging from the sheets. She flipped to lie on her side to more easily admire this less refined version of the woman she loved. Elsa looked so content and peaceful in her deep slumber.
Maren's smile widened. Her lover was happy and tired. To her, that was a raving review of their endeavours a few hours before.
Lover. That felt like a miracle. How had she been so stupid to give in to her doubts?
Elsa's forehead wrinkled and her breathing hitched, pausing the snowflakes above. Eyelids fluttered with movement beneath. As her mouth closed into a frown, the snow fell once more, heavier than before. With a twitch and gasp, her eyes flew open.
"Hey," Maren soothed, reaching out to cup Elsa's cheek, "you're safe."
She watched as confusion slowly drifted to recognition. Elsa's face turned to plant a kiss on Maren's palm.
"Sorry, did I wake you?"
"Not exactly. Bad dream?"
Elsa sighed, "Not at first, but then I-"
She stopped mid-sentence, eyes going wide. The snow halted its movements, remaining frozen and suspended. Shooting up, she sat in the bed looking wildly around the room.
"Shit," Elsa whispered, raising a hand to dispel the snow.
Maren immediately erupted into a snickering fit. The prim and proper princess cursing while naked, well, that was a rarity. Her giggles earned a playful slap.
"Why didn't you wake me?" Elsa's tone was chastising, but she was already failing to hide a smile.
Maren purred, "I like the snow."
"Oh really?"
"I'm in love with the mistress of winter, it sort of comes with the territory. This view is incredible, by the way," she flirted shamelessly, allowing her eyes to slowly peruse Elsa's exposed chest.
Ahtohallan forgive her.
The subject of her dedicated observations rolled her eyes before moving towards her. Elsa easily threw her leg over Maren's torso and straddled her hips.
"I enjoy the serious soldier, but I missed this rather giddy side of you," Elsa murmured, taking hold of one of Maren's hands, bringing the fingers to her lips.
"Me too," Maren sighed as she felt the kisses pressed to each joint, knuckle, and scar on her hand.
Maybe she had been the one asleep for five years. She suddenly felt so awake.
Elsa then placed Maren's hand on her waist and leaned forward, dipping low to kiss the corner of Maren's mouth.
Something hard but small knocked against her chest.
Maren separated briefly to look at the object now dangling between them. Her fingers reached out to clasp the acorn pendant still perfectly encased in ice. Elsa waited patiently as she brushed her thumb over the necklace. Maren felt a surge of pride at the fact Elsa had kept wearing it even knowing what it truly represented.
"When did you learn about the løfte?" she asked as she gently released the token.
Elsa's body slid to the side, leaving a long leg still draped across the other's center. Maren's arm now wrapped around a smooth back. Blonde head rested on her shoulder. Pale fingers traced her collar bone. Maren was content.
"There was a Northuldran on the Geirr. He was quite amused I had accepted without knowing what it was," Elsa recalled with a smile, hand now brushing against Maren's ribs.
"I had planned something different."
"A beach at sunset." Head tilted and blue eyes looked up at her now, a knowing grin on lovely lips. Maren felt hers curl to match.
"I could've explained everything, let you know there was no pressure or I could wait. We Northuldra like to make it official before the courtship really begins, not after."
Elsa's hand grazed the skin on Maren's stomach.
"I would've said yes even knowing what it was."
It was still so incredible to Maren how Elsa's cool touch made her body feel so warm. Her fiancée.
"Yelana said you would, unless I really messed it up."
"Yelana?"
Maren used her free hand to lace her fingers with Elsa's, leaving the clasped and joined digits to rest on her torso.
"She smacked me on the head with her walking stick one night after you had walked away from the fire," she began wistfully, "I must have been staring. She said, I kid you not, 'You really are stupider than reindeer shit if you don't just tell her already.'"
Elsa giggled, "That sounds like her. She may have said something vaguely similar to me."
"She was a troublemaker, but she was right," Maren admitted, her free hand drawing circles on Elsa's back, "The next day, Ryder spent all day helping me look for the perfect acorn in the rain. He kept yelling, asking why we couldn't wait for a dry day. I told him it had to be now, I couldn't wait anymore. And of course I was picky, none of the damn nuts looked right."
Maren felt her cheeks hurt from smiling. She enjoyed the vibrations of Elsa's laughter moving through their tangled bodies before she continued.
"You should have seen his face when I told him I wasn't going to use the reindeer to present it to you. Devastated," she intoned, flashing an appropriately horrified face, earning more of Elsa's musical mirth.
When they calmed and settled, Elsa gently observed, "You miss them."
Maren nodded soberly. "Of course. But I think I've been doing it wrong. Not talking about them. Not remembering. Not until you came back," her arms tightly encircled Elsa's frame, hugging her even closer than they previously were, "You've breathed life into me again."
She felt Elsa squeeze back.
"I don't know how yet, but I'll end this war. For you, for them. For everyone."
The Northuldran couldn't see Elsa's face buried against her chest as they embraced, but she could hear the stern, declarative tone, even if it was muffled.
Maren pushed off the bed, turning over, depositing Elsa on her back as she climbed and hovered above her. For a brief moment, she strained to resist the delicious feeling of their hips sliding against each other and the incredible sight of Elsa's parted lips waiting beneath her.
She needed to make this next part clear.
"I go with you this time. No matter what."
Her betrothed, her future wife. If Elsa was standing against the evil of this world, Maren would be by her side, without question.
Wide, blue eyes softened. Fingers began carving their way up Maren's forearms and biceps that held her up.
"Alright," Elsa breathed. A promise.
Her hands reached Maren's shoulders before wrapping around and sliding down her back. They swept down to the dip of her waist, pushing, pulling her down. Elsa's thighs were wrapping around her hips. Maren surrendered to gravity and pressed completely against the other woman's body, sighing against her lips before their mouths eagerly joined together.
"I'm never letting you go again."
A/N: Thank you as always for any comments or feedback!