Buffy... I swear I was just thinking of you.

"Should have known it's you. Been nearly six hours."

Spike sneers, rising from his armchair to face her as she stands silhouetted in the crypt's doorway. The bandage at the back of his head is gone, the long incision from the doctors scalpel already healed over. Nothing left but a mild burning line covered by his blond needles.

Buffy glowers from the crypts doorway.

"Well, it would've been less if I wasn't busy cleaning up your mess."

"My mess?" A dark rage fills Spike's eyes. "I just borrowed the doc. The mess is yours, Slayer. Yours and the boy's."

Buffy let's out an exasperated laugh.

God I need a fight so bad.

"I'm done." She pulls the stake out of her back pocket again, fingering the grain. She steps down further into the gloom of the crypt. "Spike, you're a killer. And I shoulda done this years ago."

She expects a cower. Some small chink to form in the armour of his bravado. But instead he takes a step closer to her. There's rage in his eyes and for a moment she falters.

Killed two Slayers. A full blown Victorian serial killer and I'm standing here with nothing but my stake and a halter top. Not even something with a collar. Not even wearing my cross.

Chip or no chip this... might've been a misstep.

"You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it." He all but whispers.

Buffy blinks, feeling her train of thought slip out from under her, like bad shoes skidding on ice. The same lurching feeling of trying to make sense of a world suddenly horizontal.

"...What?"

"End. My. Torment." He growls, the fury in his eyes has turn cold. Writhing hatred bubbling underneath the cool blue of his eyes. "Seeing you, every day, everywhere I go, every time I turn around. Take me out of a world that has you in it!"

He rips the open shirt off his shoulder, throwing it to the floor. "Just kill me!"

They stand panting at each other, feeling the heat of their anger searing the air between them.

Spike clenches his arms at his side, making his chest flex and Buffy's stomach knots itself. Shaking herself out of her shocked staring she takes a sudden step towards him, stake raised. He flinches a little, smirking a smile that feels far from real as the stake stops between them. The both of them are near shivering with anger, drowning in it.

Oh God I want to rip her apart with my teeth. Bite her to death. Feel her skin under my fingernails as I claw her to pieces.

He feels his throat contracting painfully at the thought of the taste of her.

All that gold skin. I bet she tastes so sweet. Dark but honeyed like molasses. I bet I'd burn my tongue if I set it against that neck. Bet I'd singe my bloody fingers if I ran them over her arms...

I bet I could make her scream.

Oh God I bet I could make her scream my name-

Something snaps hard in his head and his hands crush Buffy's biceps in a biting grip as his mouth crashes down on hers.

What am I doing?

His teeth bite at her lips as his fingernails dig harder into her skin.

Stop... Shit how do I stop!?

For a feral moment his self preservation tries to assert itself, tugging him back from the danger of the stake still in her hand, but just as he aligns his thoughts enough to try to pull back she breaks underneath his lips, kissing him back and his hold lurches to a holt. A soft moan escapes her lips as her hands grip his bare hips and he all but loses himself under the sudden burning heat of her fingers.

I knew I'd burn...

As his lips lock over hers, Buffy's unyielding rage-filled mind finally stalls.

Riley tumbles out of her head like a die from an opened palm, and with it the anger of the last day and a half. A moment of uninterrupted silence empties her mind, blissfully cool, like the mouth that's biting at hers now. Like the hands pining her in place.

She reaches out and finds the skin of his hips under her hands, and moans into his mouth as his teeth bite her, hard lips pushing her lips further open.

The sound of her stake hitting the floor suddenly snaps her back into herself painfully with a horrifying lurch-

WAIT-

Spike lips!

She wrenches herself out of his grasp, gasping, hand covering her bruised lips.

What the hell am I doing?

WHAT THE HELL WERE WE DOING?

In a bursting flood every moment of insecurity rushes back into her brain like a river exploding from a dam.

The hurt in Riley's eyes. Accusing her. Forcing the guilt of his decision down on her like it was her fault. Like she asked for all of this. Like she expected him to resign himself to near fatal torture to be with her. That without it he wasn't worthy.

Well... He's not though, is he? Not really.

If I thought a single honest thought for the first time in my whole Slayer existence it'd be that I can't bear his clinging misery coating me with this disgusting film of self doubt for another second longer. That I deserve someone as strong as I am.

That I shouldn't have to pull every punch just to protect his tiny porcelain thin ego.

She can feel welts swelling at the back of her biceps where Spike's grip has dug hard into her muscles. Bruises on the inside of her arms from his thumbs. On her lips from his.

God that's what I want.

I don't want have to treat Riley like a china doll anymore.

I don't him to touch me like I'm fragile either. Soft hands making my skin crawl, as if I couldn't kick him bodily through a fucking a wall. No, in his mind I'm just a helpless co-ed that needs to be treated as such.

...That needs to act as such.

Spike's gasping in front of her. His lips have darkened from their normal pallor to a darker pink from the onslaught of their kiss. He looks as terrified by it all as she does, gulping down lungfuls of air trying to right himself. The way he looks at her, at her mouth, like it's a saving grace.

Like she's a thawing fire in a freezing wasteland.

No one looks at me like that. No one ever looked at me like that.

Not even Angel looked at me like that. It was just unending concern.

Or was it just pity?

A burning ache makes tears threaten to fall. The thought of Angels' pitying glance as he walked away from her. Pretending like all this hurt and agony and indifference was all for her. For her own good. Like one day she'd turn around thank him for it!

God this is so unfair. All of it. It's just cruel, and hard, and UNFAIR.

When has my life EVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT CRUEL, AND HARD, AND UNFAIR.

She reaches her hands up to cup Spike's head and feels him shiver against her as her kiss bruises his mouth hard. His lips force hers open wider, steel-like arms threading around her back, hard fingers clawing at her spine through her top as his biting kiss moves down over her cheek. Down to her neck.

She pulls back a little, wanting to feel him crush her back against his chest and he obliges unthinkingly, making her gasp hard as his fingers dig into her waist.

"Spike... I want you."

"Buffy, I love you...God, I love you so much."