Do you get déjà vu ?
"I love you too , Arizona ." Callie mustered up to say that with all her courage . Her voice was low but the other woman still could hear it .
"Wait . I have it ." Sensing that the moment was coming , Arizona interrupted Callie's unsaid words , frantically searching with her left hand for the ring that she had been carrying with her for the past few months - while her other arm still carefully holding the newborn . "Of course at moment like this , I left it somewhere in my other clothes . I swear I had it , the ring .. Let me just get —"
"Arizona ."
The blonde looked up with her intense blue eyes — looking at Callie .
"I love you ." The brunette watergate finally broke . "But I can't do this ."
"What do you mean by that ?"
"It wasn't supposed to be this way ."
"My proposal is that bad ? Well , I can try again ." Arizona chuckled nervously .
Callie started to cry . This time , the tears just wouldn't stop .
Arizona's face quickly changed . From the confusion , she finally had come to a realization .
But she still hoped that her gut was wrong . Arizona stared at Callie , not blinking even once — waiting for the next scary words that would come out from the Latina's mouth .
"I can't do this . I'd happily marry you if we were in the before . But in the after ?" Callie sobbed . "After everything ? I just can't . I'm sorry . You hurt me . I accepted you — all of you but .. I think .. there's just so much thing you haven't dealt with yet , honey ."
"I have been with you and I saw you for who you are but things .. things like this happened .. and it feels like suddenly , I don't know who you are , like I only knew the half of you . When we both grew apart after Miami , I kept telling myself that I am fine living with the half of you for today because maybe tomorrow , I could get to feel all of you but the truth is .. it is not enough . Love only is not enough . I need that sense of security . I don't want to feel that I have to walk on eggshells everytime I'm around you ."
"Would it make a different if I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life make it up to you ?" Arizona asked .
"I think you need to make it up more to yourself . Arizona , you need to start being fair to yourself . And I think , I need to not be in a relationship for now , moreover a marriage ."
Arizona's jaw tensed as she tried to swallow all her feelings — the silent pain .
"We really should stop seeing each other ." The brunette finally said it while their gazes still locked .
Longing gazes for what it felt an eternity ...
But the sound of the baby crying was the only reason for Arizona to look away — as if the newborn understood what was happening .
"Shhh . Don't cry , baby . It is all good ." Arizona said eventhough it was a lie , as she looked down on the baby - trying to calm down the newborn .
Without saying anything to Callie and not even making an eye contact , Arizona left the room with the baby .
That was the last time Callie saw Arizona . Herself on the bed . Arizona walking away . With a crying baby in her arms .
Until today , a year later .
Time stood still . For a moment , they just stared at each other .
Do you get that deja vu ?
Callie knew that this day would come . It was inevitable . Whether she liked it or not , she knew that Arizona would always be in her life the minute Aria told her that Arizona would be Mia's godmother — without even consulting her .
It's just .. she wished that they wouldn't stumble into each other like this again , Arizona with her niece in her arms as her eyes piercing through her soul with that stare . That intense stare that nobody else had .
It just brought up so many memories that her heart started to race , Callie noticed it as she silently reminded herself to take control of her breathing pattern , instead of letting it controlling and dragging her into a panic attack .
The panic attack , she rarely had them for quite a while now . Sure , it was tough for the first two , three months . But it had rarely visited her nowadays . In fact , it had been months since the last attack . She still had the nightmares sometimes , though .
Meanwhile up on the stairs , the blonde just kept her gaze on Callie while her brain simultaneously reminded herself not to drop the baby . She really wanted to look away but she just couldn't . It had been one whole year . Callie didn't change much except maybe she did lose some of her weight , no , yes ? Whatever . Bottomline is , she looks incredible and beautiful as she always has been . Arizona gulped upon realizing that Callie still had that effect on her .
The elevator dinged , thus breaking their stares .
"Baby , where do I put our suitcase ?" A voice with a light Italian accent asked .
The blonde's heart broke a little upon hearing the first word .
"Uh , uhmm . Just leave it there first ." Callie said , totally caught by surprise as she changed her gaze simultaneously from up the stairs and back to Carina's again .
"What's up ? Is everything okay ?" Carina asked as she looked up , only to meet the other person's gaze from up the stairs .
But it wasn't for too long as Mia had started to cry .
"Okay , okay , let's see if your Mama is already out of shower ." Arizona shushed the baby in her arms , walking away from the stairs area .
Yup . Walk away again , Arizona . Nice . Callie rolled her eyes , she couldn't help it but silently having that sarcastic remark inside her head .
"Is that .."
"Yup , that's her ." Callie cut off her fiance's words . "I'm sorry , Carina . I didn't know she would also be here ."
"Well , if she's here , she's here then ." Carina shrugged .
"This is not what I have planned for our weekend ." Callie sighed . "It's gonna be awkward ."
"So , let it be awkward ." Carina pulled Callie's hand lovingly . "Now , should I be threatened or worried ?"
"She's just an ex now . And it just happens that we both finally meet again today for the first time after the break up ." Callie smiled at Carina's touch and just how nonchalantly she reacted to the situation . "No , there's nothing you should be worry . It's all in the history . I love you ."
"I love you too , baby ."
Is everything all in history ? Really ?
Meanwhile Arizona on the other hand was now banging on the bathroom door . Well , more like few soft knocks . Had Mia wasn't in her arms , looking all sleepy , which was the reason she suddenly cried just now — she would definitely already anxiously banging the hell out of the door .
"Aria . Open up ." Arizona called impatiently .
"What ?" The younger Latina finally opened the door , with only a towel wrapping up her body .
"Shh , lower your voice ." Arizona pointed her finger to the sleepy little one . "Oh , shit ." Arizona turned around once she realized that Aria was only in her towel .
"Language ." Aria reminded . "We really hope that word would only come out of her mouth like in another twenty years . But fifteen years probably wouldn't be so bad ." She joked .
"She's here ." Arizona said , looking at the wall .
Aria couldn't help it but chuckled . "You know you can turn around , right ? We are both women , Arizona . You never changed your clothes in front of your sister or female friends ?"
"I don't have a sister . I only have a brother . But that's not .. the point ." Arizona's forehead furrowed . "She's here , did you plan this ?"
"Who ?" Aria asked , putting on her clothes . "And what ?"
Part of Arizona wanted to turn around and look into Aria's as she asked this question so that she could sense if Aria had lied to her but then , seeing Callie's sister half naked would just be .. awkward . "Callie . She's here . Did you plan all this ? 'Cause I swear .."
"What ? Callie's here ?" Aria asked , shocked . She too , was surprised . "You can turn around now ."
Arizona turned , raising her eyebrows questioningly . She demanded answer .
"I swear . I didn't set you up . She said she would be here tomorrow for the birthday party . Not today ."
"Well , either way . She's here . I will need to quietly crawl my way out of here . So .. if you will take her ." Arizona's eyes darted between Mia and Aria .
Aria sighed . "Please , just stay for dinner . You can leave after that ."
"No , I can't . Absolutely can't do ."
"It's just dinner ."
"Did I forgot to mention that she also brought the police captain who happened to be the one that investigated the kidnapping , who is also now referring Callie as baby ?"
"Oh , that's Carina ."
Arizona gave Aria 'the look' .
"You already knew she's dating again , right ?"
"Yes . But I didn't know who she's dating with . And I certainly didn't expect it to be the police lady ."
"Be it a police lady , a thief , a firefighter or even a freakin' teacher — it still doesn't change the fact that she's dating again because you let her go ." Aria sarcastically said . "Isn't it getting a little bit hot in here , Mia ?"
"I didn't let her go . She didn't want to be with me anymore ." Arizona defended herself . "Heck , I even .. pro..." Arizona stopped mid track upon realizing that she was about to slip out that bit of what — really — really — happened .
"Well , going back to this topic — you know that I would have a different opinion on this . And my opinion certainly wouldn't be as same as yours . So , for the sake of humanity and Mia's birthday — let's not rehash this ." Aria said , half joking . The blonde was stubborn and so did Aria . She wondered if she got that trait from her mama or Callie . Hm , safe bet — maybe from both .
"So , let's just go back to the previous topic ." Arizona immediately suggested . "I can't stay here ."
"Yes you can . It's my papa's residence . Not Callie . I invited you . And papa is really hoping to see you ." Aria shook her head , disagreed . "And look at her .."
Arizona glanced at the baby who was already asleep . Peacefully .
"She missed you that she falls asleep in your arms . Ed and I would usually have a hard time putting her down . She's comfortable with you eventhough you SO rarely visit her . And now you are here , please stay a little while longer . At least help us put her to sleep tonight ."
Arizona took a second glance at the little lamb . Her heart softened that it melted on instant . "Alright . Just for dinner ."
"Just dinner ." Aria repeated . "No table would be flipped . I got your back . I promise ." She added jokingly .
"Aria , can I have a minute with you ?" Callie suddenly called from the outside the room , not even wanting to take a peek as she knew that the blonde was also inside the room . She'd rather not crossing the boundaries they have made . Or was it Arizona the first one to build the wall of boundaries ? Well , to Callie , Arizona was the first one to build it . She just went along with it eventhough at first she felt it was not needed and just plain cruel . Heartless . Rude .
But after while , Callie got used to the boundaries . To the fact that she kinda got ghosted . And worst , betrayed by her own little sister . Yeah , after all this time — Callie still felt the pain of betrayal .
"I'd just put Mia down into the baby crib ." Arizona said .
Aria nodded as she turned . "Now , wish me luck dealing with her . In half an hour , if I am nowhere to be found — please send out a search party ." Aria sighed , knowing she would surely get an earful from Callie .
"Hey sis ." Aria said as they both stood by the penthouse's swimming pool .
"Do not hey sis me ." Callie replied coldly , going straight to the point . With Arizona and Carina being in the same house , she couldn't leave her girlfriend for too long as God knew if they both could be civil . She trusted Carina but Arizona on the other hand ? She couldn't yet to figure out what type of attitude the blonde would have on Carina . The blonde had always been hard to read . "I can't believe you invited her !"
Aria rolled her eyes . Here we go .
"Undo this now . All of this ." Callie demanded . "Before papa comes home and insists on letting her stay ."
"Umm , no ? Besides , papa knows she will be here today . I told him before inviting her ." Aria folded her arms . "And you aren't even supposed to be here today . You told me you would be coming here with Carina tomorrow . You forgot ?"
"So now I need to make an announcement everytime I'm coming back early to my hometown ? I can't just stop by whenever I want ?" Callie scoffed .
"You don't have to make an announcement if you stop making bumping into Arizona as a big deal ."
"Unbelievable ." Callie shook her head . "Just unbelievable . I can't believe that my whole family is now happily making decisions and plans without considering my opinions . Inviting Arizona to Miami without informing me at all ."
Aria knew exactly what would be coming next from Callie's mouth .
"Asking Arizona to be my own niece's godmother , not even asking if I would be okay with that ." Callie rehashed , for a hundredth time .
"For a millionth time , Callie .. I didn't know that you both broke up when I asked her to be Mia's godmother . And technically speaking , I asked her before you both broke up ." Aria sighed . "And Mia is my daughter . I can pick whoever I want as her godmother . I like Arizona since the day one I met her . So I made my decision to made her my daughter's godmother . Get over it . Besides , it's been a year since you both broken up ."
"Easy for you to say ."
"Yes , it's easy and simple . It happened long time ago . And you are dating and Arizona seems contented with her life now . Can't you guys just be friends again ?"
"Contented ? Did she say anything to you ? Is she seeing someone ?" Callie asked , her heart dropped . Arizona is finally moving on ?
"Why would you care ? You have Carina now . Just be friends with Arizona and stop making my child feels like she's a victim of some kind divorcement ."
"Is she gonna spend her night here ? 'Cause then , I will need to ask papa for a suite for me and Carina ."
"She will be here just for the dinner , Callie . And then , poof ! She will be gone again for one whole year , maybe not even coming back for Mia's second birthday . Because of this whole thing today ." Aria said with sarcasm .
Callie wasn't happy with the remark . At all . "You were supposed to have my back . You are my sister . And you chose her ."
"I never pick any side . And of course I have your back . Always . That was why I carefully arranged the schedule so that you both wouldn't be here at the same time . But how am I supposed to know you would be flying here one day early ?" Aria let out a long breath . "And Arizona , among all of your exes — she's the easiest for me to like . So I will have her back too ."
"I really wish things worked out for you two so that I don't have to feel torn like this almost everytime ." Aria added , letting what's truly inside of her heart out in the air .
Callie's eyes just followed the back of her little sister as the younger Latina went back inside the penthouse .
She continued to stare into the skies pensively . She used to be happy . No enemies , no hatred in her heart for anyone . But now , when it came to the blonde — all she felt was .. bitter .
She wanted to name the feeling as hate but it just wouldn't fit in . Bitter was more it .
The tragedy had turned her a little bit darker . The kidnapping , it changed her — mentally . The days of hell she had to endure before the police finally found her . Or before Arizona found her .. And held her . The warmth of the blonde's touch , pulling her cold body into her sweet and warm embrace .
It was ironic . Because Arizona had always been the cold one .
Seeing Jack's accomplice died .. slowly suffering . The blood , the visual of it and the smell , the sound of gunshots.. Some days , when she closed her eyes and went back thinking about it , she could feel like as if she was still there . And now was no exception . As she closed her eyes , her brain went all the way back to the day . Overly thinking about it had never failed to mentally sucked her back in to that day .
"Are you okay ?"
Callie's hand gripped the metal bar as an immediate response . All her thoughts quickly washed away as she came back to reality . She recognized the voice . Moreover , she knew the smell of the perfume . After a year , she still wore the same perfume . And Callie had no trouble to noticed it .
Even with her eyes still closed .
"You are shaking . And your heart is racing ." An unwanted hand linger on her wrist , innocently checking her pulse . "Breathe in with your nose , slowly . Open your eyes slowly as you exhale with your mouth ." She instructed .
Callie did as she told , opening her eyes to the clear skies . Not taking even a small glance to her side .
"Feel better now ?" Arizona asked - only receiving a small nod from the Latina .
Callie noticed that the pale hand was still wrapped around her bronzed wrist . Awkwardly freeing her wrist from Arizona's grip , she thank God as Arizona seemingly to understand of her being uncomfortable by the touch . The blonde quickly softened her grip as she withdrew her hand , eventually .
"The weather is quite nice today . Windy ." Arizona suddenly spoke .
"So we are gonna be that kind of ex ?" Callie shot back . "The kind that talks about weather whenever we accidentally meet somewhere ."
"Or we can talk about politics ."
"Oh , good to know that your sense of humor is getting better over the year ."
"Look , Callie . I know you are upset . I didn't know you would be here today . Had I known , I wouldn't .."
"Wouldn't show up here ? Would selfishly keeps on disappear to God knows where , making people wonder , 'cause God knows where you are for a year ." Callie cut her off .
"It's for the best ."
"For you or for me ?"
"Best for both of us ." Arizona replied . "You said it yourself that I hurt you . I went away so that you could heal . Physically and mentally — from what had happened and from what I did to you . And it worked . You are happy again . With .. Carina ."
Carina was certainly not the person that Arizona thought Callie would be moving on with . Did their relationship started right after they broke up ? Or did they meet on the street of Seattle months after the kidnapping ? They hit it off right away ? How did it even happen ? Arizona tried not to think much of it . It would only drive her mad . Because the last time they spoke , Callie had told her that she couldn't be in any relationship at the moment .
But looking back now , maybe Callie meant to say she couldn't be in a relationship with her . With anyone else , yes . But not with Arizona .
She said I hurt her , Arizona quietly recalled inside of her mind .
"You are clearly happy too ." Callie said .
"I .. I am ." Arizona cleared her throat . "I'm sorry again if my presence here is upsetting you . Just for tonight and I promise you that we will never have to cross our paths awkwardly like this ever again ."
Well , that's the confirmation . The blonde is happy . So what ? I am happy too with Carina. Happier . Than ever . And Arizona is happy too with whoever she's with now .. So now , everybody is happy . But is it everybody ? If I'm happy then why am I still having this feeling of bitterness inside of my body ? Callie silently thought to herself
"Yeah , walk away . That is what you are good at ." Callie left a bitter remark as a response to Arizona's ridiculous promise .
"Excuse me ?" Arizona asked , confused .
"If you are so good at walking away , why can't you just walk away from my life for real ? To be exact from Mia's life ? Why did you have take on Aria's offer to be Mia's godmother ? You could have somebody else's child as your godchildren . Heck , now that you are happy again , you can have another child with your partner . It's not going to be like you can't take care of a child fulltime . You had one before , right ?" Before Callie could stopped herself from speaking that harsh last bit , the words already slipped out of her mouth .
Callie bit her lips , immediately regretting herself for dragging the sensitive subject into their conversation .
Meanwhile on Arizona's side , nothing was coming out from her mouth but only a defeaning silence . And the silence ? It stayed there for a moment .
"It was nice talking to you ." Finally , Arizona replied shortly before she turned around .
"Arizona , I'm .." Callie called but she stopped in the midway of her sentence as she realized that Arizona had no interest to turn around and carry on with the conversation .
What have I done ? Callie sighed .
A/N : Uh , oh - seems like Callie's patience on Arizona had ran out . She seems to be a little bit darker and bitter in this one ..? And do you think that it's a little bit too late for Arizona here ? I know there's not much answered here but let's hope we will get those answers as this story goes .
And sorry for the long time that I took to get this chapter out . Was supposed to upload this like .. a week ago during the visit to my hometown . But then there was no internet access in my hometown . Tried to get it up and published this week but then I have been tested positive with covid , again -_- Was down with light fever & flu but TERRIBLE sore throat . Now that I feel better , I finally could edit this chapter and upload it tonight , yay !
I had a good laugh , tho - on one of the review on last chapter . Something about taking 30 chapters for them to be together because it is kinda what I think I'm going for . But for real , not like 30 chapters lol . Why would I do that ? Because I believe that sometimes we do need to feel that feeling of .. losing something or someone in order for us to know its worth , its value . But that doesn't mean there will be less Calzona in this story just because they aren't together due to the circumstances .
Please don't forget to leave some reviews . I love , love , love long reviews & also the reviews spammed by the same reader lol (the one where they follow me from the first story until to this one) . It just shows how enthusiastic and invested they are on my small , little story . Also , I'm open to suggestions , theories & guesses .