Scars were something that was common in wars.
They danced crossed the skins of warriors to prove the fact they have seen hell and someone appears on the other side within one piece. Physically, of course, but they were a showcase of strength. A showing of courage and grit within times of hopelessness and pain.
The scars Jim bore were no different to me.
He had a few. One that danced through his right eyebrow. Another that went over the bridge of his nose and another that contoured his left cheek. There were a few more than spotted his body in faded lines of formerly damaged skin, but those were the ones that bore themselves to the world. The ones he couldn't hide.
The ones I knew he hated each time he looked in the mirror. Just as he hated all the others.
I knew there was one that was in a circle on his chest right over his heart where the amulet used to lay when he used to call upon Merlin's armor but he refused to go without a shirt ever due to it. Some covered his arms which he covered with his jacket sleeves. He covered them all. Even the ones that covered his fingertips from what I knew weren't from being the Trollhunter.
As he sat before me on his bed looking into the handheld mirror I had asked him to hold for me, I felt sorrow for the boy that I had seen carry the world upon his shoulders. I wanted to whisk him away if I could to another plan. Somewhere where he could feel as if his demons from the past year wouldn't haunt him anymore, but I knew this wouldn't help him.
But I knew something that could.
A habit of mine whenever I saw him like this was to kiss the scars I knew he hated more than anything. Starting with the ones on his cheek and making my way around from there. Whispering how much I loved him as I did so. Whenever I would pull back from him, he would also look up to me with tear-filled eyes as the same question would always fall from his lips.
"How can you do that?"
"How can I not?" My normal answer fell from my lips as I smiled at him. I cupped his face within my hands as I saw the dam that was holding back his tears starting to break. They welled up into the corners of his blue orbs while I felt my heart nearly broke at the sight. I leaned forward and placed a kiss onto his right eyebrow before pulling him into my arms. "They're yours." He wrapped his arms around me and gripped onto the sweater I was wearing as if it was some kind of lifeline. His fingers digging into the fabric and bundling it within his hands as he shook gently within my grasp. I smiled at it all as I tried my best to soothe him by playing with his hair. "You are so much more than your scars."
"They prove how broken I am, Claire." His voice hitched slightly at the end so I started rubbing circles into his back as he buried his face deep into my shoulder. "How can you-?" I knew exactly what he was going to say, so I didn't let him finish.
"They prove your strength, Jim." I pulled back from him slightly to look him dead in the eyes so he could see my words were true. I wanted him to see that I meant every word I spoke. I wanted him to know that this is exactly how I felt and nothing would change it. "You've been through hell and that's okay. You may have been a troll, but your emotions were always human. Your spirit was always human which makes how you feel right now natural for you. They are human of you." I ran my fingers through his hair as I continued. "You were a soldier in a war and you still are to a certain degree. Being a soldier means you'll have scars and that doesn't mean you're broken or weak for having them, but you were strong enough to endure the pain that caused them." He gave me a weak smile as I leaned in and kissed the one that was on the bridge of his nose. "And I love each and every one of them." I gave him a gentle smile as I whispered the rest of my answer to him. "Just as I love every part of you." His smile grew slightly as he leaned forward to place his forehead against mine. He closed his eyes for a minute as I watched him with skillful eyes.
"What would I do without you?" His voice was barely above a whisper as his grip on my sweater loosened so he could rub his hands up and down my back. I couldn't help but smile as I saw his eyes slowly open to welcome me with a loving look.
"I don't know. Where would you be without me?"
"Dead, probably." I smacked him on the back of his head slightly as he just gave me a loving smile. "What? It's true."
"Doesn't mean I don't hate it when you bring it up."
"I know, I know. No more near-death experiences for me."
"Or I'll kill you myself." He chuckled lightly at me in response.
"Or you'll kill me yourself." A mischievous look appeared in his eyes as he continued. "Though I think that's a little counterintuitive." I gave him a half-hearted glare.
"Shut up, Lake."
"I love you too, Nuñez." His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke to me. I couldn't help but capture his lips just as gently in reply. After a few moments, we pulled apart from one another with soft loving looks before pulling each other close once more. Him pulling me into his lap as I completely forgot what we were even doing in the first place. But as I held him close, his face burying itself into my neck as I leaned my head against his, it didn't matter.
All that did is that when he felt this way again, I would do it all over again. That he knew he was loved. Scars and all.
