Hello crazy people of the internet and welcome back to the next chapter for one of the newer stories I have. We are diving back into Hell to see our crazy working office of imps and their new interns. So far the feedback has been good and people was looking forward to seeing how Ichigo and the others handle their new work environment.
We are moving to the first official mission for the team, Murder Family. Everyone has their role to play and will they handle the new tasks they have to do or will they fit right in with I.M.P and mess it all up? Only one way to find out!
We now have a Discord server! Feel free to stop by, say hi, and hang out. I can answer questions for stories, new ideas in the works, or just to talk and hear your ideas. The Link to the server should be on my profile page and if that didn't work send me a PM (not a review) and I will help you out. This will be my first time doing something like this so all I ask is go easy on me and just don't be rude to each other. Hope to see you there.
Disclaimer: I do not own the works of Bleach nor Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel. This is merely a fan-made parody and for entertainment only
~From One Hell to Another~
~A Murder in the Family~
It has been two days since Ichigo and his friends started 'interning' at IMP and the substitute soul reaper was getting a little stir crazy. The past two days in Hell were mostly doing things around the office as there wasn't a new job yet but he tried to help out when he could. Yuzu was learning the office work from Loona who thankfully didn't seem to give Yuzu as much sass she by shows Blitzo, Moxxie, or Millie nor did it seem like the hellhound was taking advantage of his younger sister. Yuzu was happy to help and keep the office orderly for the past two days.
The last job thankfully paid the office well enough for the job plus a bonus, though Ichigo didn't know how Blitzo manage to get that from the client and he didn't want to know. Rukia took the time to help with budgeting for the billboard Blitzo wanted after making sure the others were paid. And while Blitzo did say he managed to get the billboard ad set up, Ichigo wasn't sure if he should believe him. Considering when they came into the office this morning they found a brand new fish tank with several live electric eels swimming inside, he wasn't sure how wisely the boss spent the money.
Thankfully this didn't affect Moxxie's and Millie's paychecks which they used to keep up with bills and also to get some more food since they now have a bigger household. The group felt a bit guilty about this but Millie would have none of it. The female imp was practically doting on them, especially Yuzu. Yuzu took it in strides since it has been a long time since anyone acted motherly to her and if she wasn't helping in the office, she was with Millie and Moxxie helping with meals. Millie was beaming when Yuzu asked if she could help and the two easily got into a rhythm while also teaching her different meals they can find in Hell.
While things were at least reasonably peaceful, Ichigo was still reminded that they were stuck in Hell. Outside when they were out and about; sinners, imps, or other demons were rude, shouting at others or picking fights. Some eyed them but none seem to be willing to pick a fight with him yet but he knew it would only be a matter of time. Still, he didn't just lay around doing nothing. After their first day at the office, he asked the married couple if there was somewhere when he can either spar with Rukia or break stuff to work off his tension and stress while also making sure he didn't become complacent. Millie thankfully knew the perfect spot which was an empty abandoned lot not far from the house and the office building.
Ichigo and Rukia mostly sparred with just their zanpakuto and nothing else just to keep things on the down-low but also to keep the edge off. Millie, who came not only to lead them to the correct location but to watch them spar, was so excited seeing them go at it that she wanted to join. They were surprised by this but had no reason to deny her since she and her husband have been so helpful.
Turns out Millie was an expert on melee weapons in the company and was skilled in many weapons including swords, knives, axes, spears, and much more. Even for her size, she was strong enough to wield large weapons with ease, including a battle-ax whose blade was barely as big as her body. She was not only strong but fast too as she sped around them during their spars and made them work to either avoid or block her attacks. Neither were using shunpo during their spars and both Ichigo and Rukia weren't going all out against Millie but that didn't discredit the female imp's skills. Now that he fought against her, he knew for sure that she would fit right into squad eleven.
It was another slow day in the office so Ichigo and Rukia spent an hour at the lot to blow off some steam. When they returned they saw Moxxie by the desk arming a crossbow with an arrow while Loona lay on the couch across from them, holding a large photograph up with one hand while she texted on her phone with the other. Orihime noticed them and smiled while waving, "Hey guys! We got a client!"
"We do?" Ichigo asked, fighting a grimace. While he was getting stir crazy, he knew sooner or later they would have to help with jobs of killing people. He only hoped that they weren't going after someone innocent.
Millie nodded from her spot next to Moxxie and jerked her thumb to the door leading to Blitzo's office. "That's right. They're in the boss's office right now. Now you can go on this job with us."
"And hopefully finish this 'trial period' the boss has given you," Moxxie added. "It will be one step closer to getting your sister home."
Ichigo sighed since he knew both were right, though he felt Millie was a bit more excited about this. He closed the door he couldn't help but raise a brow as Moxxie leveled his crossbow to aim at Loona or rather the picture she was holding. "So what's all this?"
"Target practice," Millie answered happily before glancing over. "How are you doing Yuzu?"
"Doing great," the young girl answered as she held up her own crossbow, one smaller and looking less powerful than Moxxie's own. She leveled the weapon and aimed at a paper target taped on a blank wall near the door so she wasn't aiming near Loona or the new fish tank.
Ichigo blinked and couldn't help but asked, "why do you have one Yuzu?"
His sister offered him a smile, "I saw that Moxxie was practicing with his and I asked if I could try it."
"Don't worry," Moxxie explained to Ichigo. "I gave her a smaller, weaker version as well as blunt arrows so she wouldn't worry about hurting herself or any of us. I also made sure to go over a quick lesson in safety and how to properly handle her weapon. I figure it was best to cover our bases before she can even ask to try anything dangerous."
Ichigo nodded in thanks since it was his sister that asked and the imp did give her some lessons in safety at least. He figured it would also keep her mind off the fact they were in Hell for the time being. "Well if that is what she wants to do, I guess that's fine. Just don't give her any real dangerous weapons or firearms."
"Of course," Moxxie promised, not noticing the cute pout that Millie had since she was gushing at Yuzu asking them for lessons with weapons.
Yuzu smiled since her brother wasn't taking it away from her at least as she aimed the crossbow at the target. She steadied herself before closing one eye to focus. Before she could fire, Moxxie pointed out, "both eyes open dear. You will want proper depth perception."
"Sorry," she said quietly before aiming with both eyes open this time. She fired the crossbow and the arrow hit the target and stuck there. It wasn't a bullseye but it wasn't anywhere near the edge either. She smiled at the new hit she got.
"Well done sweetie," Millie said rubbing the girl's hair. "Soon you will be making perfect shots like my Moxxie."
"Ah Millie," Moxxie said with a slight blush before he went to focus on his own target.
A small red light got Ichigo's attention as he looked down at the desk to see a switchboard with lights and labels across it. The one flashing red erratically had a label reading 'Deranged client'. Ichigo noticed that the other labeled lights were for 'More coffee,' 'Soiled my pants,' 'Horny client,' 'Client giving birth,' 'Ghost,' and finally, one labeled simply as 'Stolas'. In the short time Ichigo was forced to interact with Blitzo he can understand why he had a signal/button for deranged clients, and he can totally see the imp having a button for the coffee and new pair of pants. While he was slightly concerned about the horny clients and ghosts since he didn't think ghosts could be in Hell, the fact one was a client giving birth made him wonder how many times that has happened that they installed a button for it. But the last buttons just confused him. "What's this light for Stolas? What's a Stolas?"
"He's a demon prince that Blitzo slept with to get the magic book we use, and you want," Loona explained in a bored tone. "He apparently liked it enough that he doesn't even demand the book back yet. He even came by here looking for Blitzo a few times."
(Flashback)
"Greetings tiny imps," greeted one of the princes of Hell, a demon that ranked much higher than any of the members of IMP. But the owl demon was smiling politely before he asked, "I'm looking for my darling Blitzy. Is he here?"
"Uhhhhhh" Millie drew out, glancing at Blitzo's open office door. She could see said imp blinking in shock that Stolas was here before diving out of the window, not evening bothering to open it and shattering the glass. "He just left," she offered as an answer.
(Flashback ends)
"He added that after the last visit" Loona finished explaining, not at all bothered at how it painted a picture of her adopted father.
"Huh," was all Ichigo could say since he didn't expect that. Now part of him was worried this Stolas would demand the book back before they hand a chance to use it to get Yuzu home. His attention turned to Moxxie as he noticed the imp's arms were shaking as he aimed his crossbow. He found this odd as while Millie was an expert on melee weapons, Moxxie seem to be an expert on range weapons, mostly firearms. He showed his skills to the group after also showing them the lot and while he doesn't know much about guns, he was impressed with the imp's aim. He turned to see what Moxxie was aiming at and saw Loona was holding a picture of a middle-class family with a father, mother, and three children.
Millie also seemed to notice as she told her husband "Moxxie, stop shaking. You're gonna shoot our only hellhound."
"Wow, I feel so loved here," Loona said in a sarcastic tone.
"I like you Loona," Yuzu offered, not wanting the hellhound to feel bad.
Loona knew the girl missed her sarcasm but didn't have the heart to make her usually smart-ass comment back at her. "I know you do Yuzu. That's kinda why I go easy on you." This last part was said quietly to herself.
Millie managed to hold back a coo at how much of a sweetheart Yuzu was being to focus on her husband. "Just take a deep breath," she did as she said before releasing with, "and let it out."
This didn't help as Moxxie was still uneasy. "But it's a family. Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?"
"I mean if that's what the client wants" answered Millie with a shrug.
"Did you guys have to kill a whole family before?" Ichigo asked the pair. He wouldn't put it past Blitzo in doing that but if Moxxie was struggling with shooting a photo of a family led him to believe otherwise.
"We haven't," Millie admitted truthfully. "But a client could request it and we would have to if we want to get paid."
Moxxie sighed and rubbed his head. "Maybe like a shitty dad, or a mob family" he then started speaking in a stereotypical Italian accent, "That's understandable."
He returned to his normal tone and asked while waving to the picture in distress. "But to eradicate an entire innocent-seemingly innocent upper-middle-class family bloodline?"
Loona sat up and glanced at the picture for a moment before she called out to Moxxie. "Hey! You don't know they're innocent." She then started to point to different members of the family. "This kid probably sets dogs on fire. Maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online. And this guy…this guy definitely watches." Loona spoke in a hushed tone near the end as she points to the father.
"Wow that was rather…specific" Ichigo pointed out, wondering what kind of examples she gave out.
Loona just shrugged while Yuzu and Orihime frowned sadly at the thought of the family being so mean and hurting animals like Loona said. Millie however seemed to use this to prove a point. She told her husband cheerfully, "exactly. Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here." She pauses and ruffles Yuzu's hair. "Expect for you, sweetie. You were dragged by force, and I know you would never have been sent here."
Ichigo gained a soft smile at how the imp was comforting Yuzu, thankful that she is at least being looked after. Moxxie was also smiling softly at how Millie was all but treating Yuzu like one of their own. It made him think of one day when they started an actual family. He then sighed and tried to get his point across since they were off track. "But…"
Millie however cut him off, cupping her husband's cheeks and squishing them slightly. "Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. Killing who we're paid to is our business. Shoot the target." She needed this with a little encouragement by kissing her husband's cheek.
Moxxie did as he was told and lifted up his crossbow still nervously shaking until he set it down, "I just think it's a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective, is all."
Slam!
Everyone jumped when Blitzo's office door slammed open when the imp kicked it to enter the room with someone else. "Guys! I want you to meet-"
But he was cut off when Moxxie accidentally fired his crossbow. The arrow starts ricocheting around the room at top speeds. Millie jumped to cover Yuzu at once, Moxxie ducked as the arrow bounced off the computer. Orihime held her hands up to her hairpins, ready to summon her shield if needed, Rukia beside her with her zanpakuto drawn. The arrow actually manages to hit the picture a stunned Loona still held, punching a hole through it. The arrow hits the bottom of the eel-filled tank and starts to wobble dangerously. The arrow flies toward the client who was wide-eyed, but Ichigo quickly snatched it out of the air before it could hit her. "You okay miss?" He asked her, seeing she was a simple-looking demon with light purple skin, red eyes, two horns from her forehead, and moving out to the side white hair that fell past her shoulders. She wore half-moon glasses and wore an outfit that reminded Ichigo of an old fashion teacher dress.
She was staring at Ichigo wide-eyed and almost seemed to be in a daze as she looked at the young tall male that she felt could be a model. "Ummm," she managed to say before she shook her head. "Yeah, I'm okay."
Blitzo just blinked at what happened in the span of a few quick seconds before he finished what he started to say "our newest client."
Suddenly the eel tank, which manage to stop wobbling from the hit it received, fell over, spilling the water, glass, and eels all over the floor. The eels squirmed and flopped around while bursting with electricity. Before anyone has a chance to do anything the dry carpet quickly caught fire ad was spreading rapidly around the office. Everyone gasped and started to gather themselves to escape while they can. As they did Blitzo shouted at the one he felt was responsible "Dammit, Moxxie! I just bought those eels!"
"Not the time!" Ichigo shouts back while making sure both Yuzu and the new client were in his arms as they ran with the rest behind him. Yuzu could only blink at the random yet rapid turn of events that had just happened.
The demon that was their client, was just stunned while blushing in Ichigo's arms as he carried them out.
(Scene change)
Not long later the members of IMP were outside their building, waiting for imp firefighters to finish. It surprised Ichigo to find that Hell has a fire department but he was grateful that there was something. After making sure everyone was okay once again, he watched as two imp firefighters came out of the building, the shortest one carrying the eels that cause the problem in the first place. No matter how much Blitzo seems to blame Moxxie for the fire, Ichigo firmly blamed his 'boss'. He glanced over at their client, a Mrs. Mayberry they found out after stopping outside, was getting into a taxi while Blitzo was talking to her. She seemed to be understanding when he apologized for the sudden movement when he picked her up due to the fire, even if she seem to have a harder time looking at him afterward. He managed to catch Blitzo calling out to her as the taxi drove off, adding with a wave, "Bye! And don't worry! We'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is free!"
This seemed to surprise everyone, including the main members of IMP. "When did we start implementing that deal?" asked a confused Moxxie.
Blitzo turned and told Moxxie softly, "when you set fire to my office in front of a CLIENT, you fucking dipshit!" he finished by shouting at the end while grabbing Moxxie's face before shoving him away. He turns to the others and shouts "now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact!"
"You better not have got it destroyed," Ichigo warned the imp because if they lost their way of getting Yuzu home then he was going to kill him.
Blitzo turned his glare to him now, "hey! Blame the idiot that started the fire."
"If I recall it was the new fish tank that you wasted money on," Ichigo countered, not backing down.
"Hey! That was a worthwhile purchase!" Blitzo exclaimed loudly. "It was to make our office fancy so clients would spend more money. Besides I used what I had leftover from the billboard so nothing was wasted."
Ichigo gave him a deadpan look before he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He glanced up to a large billboard that had Blitzo's face on it and a paragraph with a lot of misspelled words.
{Goat an asshole in the living worlds!? Come to I Am Pee!? Make sure you put this sign up on the rite side. Don't fuck this up. Also payment may take a couple of weeks because it cums in the mail. –Speech to text- -Blitzo-}
Again Ichigo deadpan at the imp, both for using such a bad way of communicating but also for the fact he paid for the billboard to be like that. Honestly, it was a miracle they got any clients at all.
Loona finally had enough of the two arguing and answered her adopted father's previous question. "You mean our only ticket to the other side? Yeah, I got it"
And with that, she finished texting and took out the grimoire from behind her. The non-native members of the team got a good look at the book for the first time seeing it in person. The book has a navy blue cover with gold reflective pages separated by a dark burgundy ribbon and has golden borders with a large red gem on the center of its spine. The front cover is emblazoned with a moon encircling a large seal, along with four stars that resemble upside-down crosses.
Blitzo was excited to see they were still good and that it was his daughter that saved the book. He rushed beside her and spoke in a sweet voice. "And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie. You get a tweat now!" this last part Blitzo said in a baby voice as he held up a literal dog treat to her.
"Ew. Stop", said Loona looking at the treat in disgust. Blitzo shrugged his shoulder as he throws the treat into the air and catches it with his tongue, like a frog before eating it making Loona cringe even more, "You're so gross!"
"Aw, stop it. I get enough of that from my therapist", said Blitzo in a bashful tone making Moxxie roll his eyes.
"I don't know what surprises me more," Ichigo said as Loona opened the book for the spell while Millie drew a circle on the wall in chalk for them. "The fact he is going to therapy or that he found a therapist that is willing to take him. Do you even pay him?"
"And for mouthing off intern you are on body checking duty," Blitzo said with a glare at the taller being. "Make sure that our targets die, got it?"
Blitzo then turned to Orihime and Yuzu, "Okay this should be an easy job so you two can stay here. We shouldn't even need any of your healing intern, so just help Loona out."
"You got it, boss!" Orihime said cheerfully with a salute.
Blitzo grinned as the portal opened on the wall. Moxxie was about to go through it when Blitzo placed his hand on the smaller imp's face and pushed him aside, all the while exclaiming "Now, let's go lick some ass!"
Ichigo scowled at the wording and hope he was joking. Rukia looked confused at the saying. "The expression is 'kick some ass' Blitzo" Mille corrected him before jumping through the portal.
"Mine's better" Blitzo muttered before following after her.
"No, it's not," Ichigo added before he, Rukia, and Moxxie jumped through the portal and it closed behind them.
They found themselves in front of a small red house by the lake as the sun sets. Ichigo took a look around and saw the normal sky which was changing with the setting sun. That and the feeling in the air he knew they were back on earth. Knowing the house would be where the target was located, Ichigo shared a look with Rukia who nodded and vanished in a shunpo. "Hold on," Blitzo muttered as he saw Rukia vanish. "Where's short stack going?"
"To get a quick layout of the area to make sure we won't have trouble," Ichigo told him, not even bothered with the confused looks he and the other imps gave him. "And to send word to the Rukia's superiors about what's happened and how we will be delayed getting back."
This was technically true as it was something the two of them planned when they would travel with the imps for their first job. Rukia was to send a message to the Soul Society about what had happened and how they went into two different Hell's. At best they would be able to at least work to make sure they can get home faster, or at least send word to their family so they wouldn't have to worry.
Blitzo scowled, annoyed at this little side quest his intern was doing but shrugged it off. "Well, she loses the chance to get the kill. This is an easy job so she better not take too long. Plus we have a deal so you can't back down bud."
Ichigo gave him a glare as the rest of the team snuck their way to the front window and hid in the bushes underneath it. Ichigo followed after them and leaned against the wall out of sight. He knew the people inside wouldn't be able to see him but that didn't mean he needed to look for himself. It made this first in a lot easier to get done that way. Blitzo peeked over the side of the window and saw their target. "That's gotta be her," he said with a chuckle. "This is too easy." Blitzo glanced at Moxxie and Ichigo and smiled at them. "Mox? Intern? Either of you want this one?"
Moxxie was pleasantly surprised by the question, "me?"
"No thanks," Ichigo answered, both because he didn't want to kill any normal human but also because it might help Moxxie since his hesitation back at the office.
"Yeah, this one's simple enough for you to handle", said Blitzo as Moxxie stands up and peers through the window when his face falls as he looks at the family having dinner, "It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital."
Moxxie looked horrified as he watched the husband and wife affectionately rub each other's noses as the wife set the table with her children waiting patiently for dinner. The scene was making Moxxie hesitant, "I-you-he-but-I-"
Blitzo however grabbed the rifle he brought and aimed. "You snooze, you lose, Mox!" the imp grinned as he looked through the scope and aimed at the woman's head, "And I've got you, bitch."
"Wait, are we actually killing a family?!" asked a concerned Moxxie, getting Ichigo to scowl in concern and glance inside the house.
"No, no, we're just killing a mother," Blitzo corrected as if to assure him. it didn't help when he added, "We're ruining a family"
As the two imps were talking to themselves, Ichigo felt conflicted but knew he couldn't do anything but at least it was only one of them and not the whole family, even if that didn't make him feel better. But as they were bickering did Ichigo notice something that made him pause, one of the seats at the table was a wheelchair with an urn on it. It gave him some strange vibes but he shifts his gaze towards the mother and paused when he noticed the lamppost behind her looked to be designed to look like a spine and hips at the bottom. Getting more of a bad feeling he glanced behind the family into the room through the open hall and saw two crossed guns underneath what could be a hunting trophy of some kind. The problem however it was a human head of a young boy, possibly even a child. Realizing the lamp wasn't just a bad decoration and the family isn't what they seem. He turned to warn the others, mostly Moxxie who was clearly conflicted. But it was too late.
"But… hold on hold on, let's just think about it," said Moxxie before he jerked the rifle up just as Blitzo fired, causing him to miss and hit a glass mirror inside the house behind the wife, alerting the four family members.
Ichigo winced, not only from the loud noise but to the fact the family now knew they were there. "Guys," he said as he tried to get their attention.
"What the fuck was that Moxxie?!" yelled Blitzo while Moxxie was breathing heavily in the middle of a panic attack.
"Guys."
"I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy," Moxxie finally said, trying to control his nerves.
"Guys!" Ichigo yelled but was once again ignored, even by Millie who was concerned for her husband.
Blitzo had enough and went off on Moxxie while poking his head. "Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leeching off your momma's tits."
"Guys!" Ichigo shouts even louder, not noticing someone approaching the window.
"WHAT Intern!" Blitzo screams, turning to face him.
BANG!
A loud gun blast ripped through the air as the wall beside them shattered. The group was knocked back or down as the shotgun pellets flew through the air with splintered wood. The only one that got hurt from that exchange was Blitzo as the shotgun pellets glazes his arm, leaving an open wound that was bleeding black blood. "Ahh! A new hole!" Blitzo screamed as he held his arm. "Scatter!"
Blitzo and Millie jumped from the house as another blast went off, this time creating a large hole in the side of the house. After the hole was made, two figures jumped out, one being their target the wife, and the other her husband.
The wife saw Blitzo running into the forest, "I call the lanky one, it looks like he's wounded. I better put him out of his misery." She said this in a dark demented tone with an evil grin.
"Happy hunting Martha," the husband said, seeing Millie head towards the dock near the lake. But before he started after her, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "I got the smaller one…after I take care of something."
"Go get 'em Ralphie," Martha said before she took off into the woods after Blitzo.
Ralphie turns and cocked his shotgun as he locked into Ichigo, who was getting up after being knocked down in Blitzo's haste. "Damnit Blitzo, you asshole," he muttered as he got to his feet. When he did, he noticed that the man was looking right at him, making it seem like he could see him even in his spirit form. He turned around and when Ralphie raised his gun to Ichigo's chest, it confirmed that he could be seen.
Ralphie chuckled at Ichigo, "You picked the wrong place to attack boy."
Ichigo scowled and slowly raised his hand to his zanpakuto. "That depends, did the boy whose head is hanging over your fireplace attack you too?"
Ralphie just gave a dark chuckle, "maybe, maybe not."
Ichigo narrowed his eyes in anger before he grabbed his sword's hilt. But just as he grabbed it Ralphie fired his shotgun, hitting Ichigo point-blank and sending him crashing into the house behind him. Ichigo dropped into the bush after hitting the wall, much to the horror of Moxxie who was getting up during this exchange. "Ichigo!" the imp cried in panic and was about to run over to him but felt someone pull his tail back towards the house before something hard slammed into the top of his head and knocked him out.
Ralphie chuckled, seeing that his children has the last troublemaker handled. He didn't even bother checking the boy he just shot and started off towards the docks where he saw the other smaller critter head off too.
(scene change)
Rukia stared at her soul pager, a feeling of dreed beginning to fill her. When she left the group and felt she was far enough away she tried her soul pager to report what was happening but to her surprise, there was no signal. This confused her since the soul pager wasn't like human technology and relayed on cell towers or those machines they have in space what she learned when studying in the human high school. The only way her pager wouldn't have a signal as if there was interference or in a separate dimension than either the Soul Society or the living world. Decided she needed a different tactic she shunpo out of the woods until she was in the nearby town. She walked down the sidewalks, still trying to find a signal much to her displeasure.
If she was paying more attention to her surroundings she would have noticed that she was getting weird looks from the humans she was passing, confused by her clothes and the sword on her hips. But she didn't notice any of this as she finally felt a higher vantage point would be needed and shunpo up and was now standing on top of a telephone pole. But no matter what she did the result was still the same with no signal. "What's going on? I know we're in the living world."
"Hey you!"
Rukia noticed someone shout over a megaphone but paid it no mind as she brainstormed her next move. At least until she heard the same voice call out, "you girl! On the Telephone pole!"
Rukia blinked before she glanced down to see two police officers staring up at her, one with the megaphone and calling up to her. She gained a confused look at the fact they were both looking at her, in fact, a small crowd was forming and looking up at her. To make sure she could be seen she pointed to herself so the officer can understand. He did and called out loudly. "Yes you! Get down from there!"
Rukia gapped in shock at the fact everyone could see her. If one with high spiritual energy it might make sense but everyone in the crowd seeing her didn't make any sense at all. As she tried to figure this mystery out, the officer signed and lowered the megaphone. "Well, she ain't listening…take her down."
His partner pulled out a rifle and aimed. Rukia eyed the man and took a moment to try and figure out what he was doing. "I think Ichigo and the others told me about something humans can use as weapons," she said to herself. "What was it called again? Oh right!" she tapped her fist into her palm as she remembered. "A gun. Wait, can guns even work on spir-Ahh!"
Her musing was broken when the gun gave a loud bang and something small and fast zipped by her head. She jerked and managed to avoid the projectile before she shunpo away from the area. She wasn't sure if such a weapon could even harm her but she wasn't about to test that theory out. To the police, it seemed like she vanished before their eyes. The leading cop with the megaphone stared, bewildered. "Did you get her?" he asked his partner.
"I think so," the gunman answered as he lowered his rifle with the same look.
The leading cop then cheered, "woo-wee! Nice shooting there! That's another one for the brutality bingo card! One more and we'll get our Christmas bonus."
(Scene change)
Gunshots rang out in the woods while Blitzo dashes through a bush as he hears Martha's evil laughter echoing through the forest. He slides down a hill and catches his breath at the bottom, still holding his arm still injured from the shot he took. "I know you're hurtin' little devil!" came Martha's voice in a singsong tone, echoing in the woods around him.
Blitzo took cover behind a tree, taking big heaping breaths to calm his nerves. He then heard Martha again, only this time much closer "I promise that I can make that pain go real quick!"
Blitzo quickly covered his mouth so he couldn't give himself away as he heard the woman walk past not too far from his hiding spot. Luckily she didn't seem to notice him as he heard her walking past him while still calling out, "Just come let Mama Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull!"
He waited and heard she was walking out of earshot and further away from him. This allowed Blitzo to take a deep breath of relief since he was out of immediate danger. It didn't last.
AHH! AHH!
Blitzo jumped at the scream that came from his cell's ringtone. He cursed as he fumbled with the device before it showed his position. There was only one person with that ring tone and knew right away who was trying to fuck with him, in more ways than one with the demon on the other side of the call. Blitzo finally manage to get control of the phone and answered while crouching down to stay hidden while he whispered harshly. "Stolas! This is a really bad time!"
"Oh, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?" came the reply of Stolas Ars Goetia. The owl demon was in his private bath in his manor with only candles for light as well as a moving array of stars and constellations around the curtains of the room. Stolas sat up happily as he listened to Blitzo on the phone while using his magic to project an image of the imp in real-time on some of the bubbles floating from his bath.
He couldn't help but grin when the imp replied in a frustrated tone that the demon found cute, "What is it?"
"I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my grimoire" Stolas informed him, reaching up and playfully popping a bubble that briefly showed the imp looking at the phone in anger and confusion.
"What did you just call me?"
"My book, Blitzy" Stolas explained with a small roll of his eyes. "The book I was given to do my job, that I have allowed you to use to do yours."
Blitzo scowled at the reminder of what he needed to even get I.M.P to where it is today. But then he heard a loud click of a rifle before he ducked down as a bang filled the air.
BANG!
The tree that the imp was hiding behind now had a massive hole in it where his head was less than ten seconds earlier. "I can hear ya, darling!" came Martha's voice. Blitzo looked up through the hole to see the woman's shadow moving closer with an evil smile on her face.
"Shit!" cursed Blitzo as he ran deeper into the woods.
It wasn't known if Stolas heard any of this or just ignored it as he went on with the reason he was calling his imp lover. "Anywho, I have been thinking. You know, I have been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for quite some time now," here Stolas looked slightly embarrassed while scratching his cheek sheepishly before getting back into the matter. "But I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?" he walked his fingers as he said this. "Doesn't that sound… enticing?"
As Stolas was saying this, Blitzo was running for his life, stopping when a bullet missed his head and glazed off a tree, blasting a bit of bark off of it. Blitzo jumped behind another tree to hide for a moment to answer the demon. "You gotta stop using your fancy-ass rich-people talk okay?! I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A!"
BANG!
Another shot rang out, this time blowing a hole off the side of the very tree Blitzo was hiding behind. The imp had a stunned and scared looked at the close call as Stolas answered back to him.
"Then let me keep it simple: once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of… passionate fornication," Stolas said this last part as he sank deeper into his tub while giving a mild hoot in his voice indicating his lust. Afterward, he rose back up to finish his proposal, "Aaaaaaand, you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sound fair, my little imp?" he finished with a small pop of the 'p'.
Blitzo, who manage to find a new hiding spot, finally answered after checking if it was clear with a frustrating "Fine! Whatever!"
He knew he was going to regret that which didn't help from Stolas' reply.
"Oh, Blitzy! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to feel your slimy c[Beep]ck inside of my [Beep]. To [Beep] the…"
Blitzo simply stared at the phone and cringed at the censored words that were coming out. It may seem odd that a cell phone from Hell would even have any form of censorship filter but the main company that made and sold the phones added them to all models and to remove them you needed to pay to have it turned off. Normally Blitzo wouldn't bother paying for this but now he was thankful he didn't have to hear Stolas's lustful rant. Though the blank spaces didn't help as much with his imagination.
But this also distracted Blitzo as Martha managed to sneak up on him and pinned him to the tree with the butt of her rifle, forcing him to drop his phone to the ground while Stolas didn't even pause at all. "Gotcha!"
Blitzo grits his teeth and glares at his target that managed to get the better of him. The deranged woman grin evilly up at him as she pressed harder on her weapon to keep him pinned. "So, you're a little devil, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell?" she growled at the very idea but wasn't deterred and pushed even harder. "Well, not today, Satan! Gonna send y'all back to where ya came from!"
Now Martha has an even wider evil grin but Blitzo, ever the smartass, managed to at least break the tension in an unexpected way. "Actually lady, you just got me out of a very awkward conversation."
Marth gained a confused look before she noticed the drop phone which was still going off on the censored sexual rant by Stolas. Martha blinked as she put the pieces together from the words getting cut off. "Oh…oh my."
Blitzo just gave a grunt that wasn't because of the weapons pinning him down. "The things you have to do for business."
Martha shrugged and said, "you'd be surprised," before she pulled back the rifle for a moment and slammed it into Blitzo's face, knocking him out.
(Scene change)
At the cabin, a groan could be heard before Ichigo sat up from the bushes. "Okay, that hurt," he muttered as he used the wall to steady himself to his feet. He checked his chest from where he was shot and discovered some light bruises but that was it. "Not the worst injury I've gotten," he said as he noticed that the sky was dark with the sun fully set. "But good to know I'm bulletproof."
He looked out into the forest to see some lights in the darkness, mostly from torches or campfires since they were too small and spread out to be a big forest fire. Believing that is where the rest of the team was, Ichigo was about to head in there but the sound of glass breaking got his attention. He looked up to see Moxxie jumping out of a window from one of the upper floors of the cabin with a rifle in his hand. He landed on the grass but noticed the substitute soul reaper at once. "Ichigo!" he cried and ran to him. "You're alright! But I saw that man shot you point blank!"
But as the imp looked him over he saw no blood and just some bruising on his chest. Moxxie stared in amazement while Ichigo chuckled, "yeah surprised me too. Never been shot before like this so I didn't know I'm at least somewhat bulletproof. Not the worst injury I've gotten but it still hurt like a bitch."
Moxxie looked like he wanted to ask more questions but shook his head to focus on what mattered right now. "We need to go and help the others."
Ichigo followed to where the imp was pointing and saw a series of torches lighting a trail into the dark forest. He gained a serious look and lifted Moxxie in his arms before muttering, "hold on."
"Why?" Moxxie asked before he and Ichigo vanished in a burst of speed.
(Scene change)
The trail of torches leads deeper into the forest, going off a beaten path until ends in a clearing that was circled by more torches. In the middle was a tall wooden pole with branches and twigs piled around it to be used for a fire. Tied to the pole were both Millie and Blitzo, their hands tied above them to the pole to keep them there. They had both awoken not too long ago to find they were trapped. They struggled at their bonds while Martha watched with glee while holding her torch while her husband was splashing gas on the pile, showing their intent to literally burn the imps at the stake. Blitzo growled as he pulled at the ropes while muttering "I had that fucking shot. Goddammit, Moxxie." He glanced around in anger. "And where is the intern? He's supposed to be bodyguarding us."
"That boy that was with you devils?" Ralphie asked as he finished with the gas. He stood up and grinned darkly, "I already shot him."
Millie gasped in shock and horror while even Blitzo was stunned at this. "You what?" He asked to make sure he wasn't hearing things.
"Shot him," the man repeated as he took a step back. "Took buckshot to the chest."
Millie shuddered as tears pooled in her eyes while Blitzo was stunned. Sure the kid was a pain at times in Blitzo's opinion and they butted heads but he didn't want the kid dead. The imps weren't even sure how to get out of this let alone tell the others as Martha started speaking in a chant while holding up a torch "Satan! We return your filthy creatures back to the pits of Hell!"
The imps struggled in their bonds as Martha went on, "May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy work!"
And with that Martha tossed the torch onto the woodpile beneath the imps, which quickly caught fire. The blaze shot up and covered the imps while the humans watched them burn at the stake. The imps flinched when the flames covered and waited…and waited…and waited until… "Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady" Blitzo informed her in a deadpan tone. "Sorry, your fire doesn't actually hurt us, but I mean I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard." He added this last part with his tail pretending to wrap around a dick and moved it to show his point.
"Oh…" Martha muttered as she didn't expect this. "Well, shit." There was a moment of silence before she picked up her shotgun and grinned evilly at them, "Guess I'll just shoot you in your smart-ass mouth!"
"That would be more effective" admitted Blitzo, realizing his mistake.
"Blitzo!" yelled Millie angrily while Blitzo had a stupid grin on his face for his cheeky moment.
Martha laughs evilly again as she aims her gun at them, causing the imps to close their eyes. But before she could fire, they all heard a familiar voice, "I suggest that you lower the gun now."
Martha and Ralphie jumped and turned, Ralphie also grabbed his gun but stopped when he saw who it was, "what? But I shot you!"
"You did," Ichigo confessed as he stepped into the clearing, his zanpakuto drawn this time. "And it hurt I'll admit that."
"Well this will hurt even more," Martha warned as she aimed her gun at Ichigo now.
Ichigo didn't seem bothered that both adults were aiming their weapons at him while Millie and Blitzo watched on, both too stunned and worried to say anything. Martha chuckled evilly as she leveled the rifle up to aim properly. "You think you can just come here and kill us, sonny?"
"Me? No, I'm not going to kill you," Ichigo admitted, surprising everyone. "I just have to keep you busy."
BANG!
Everyone jerked at the sudden gunshot but suddenly Martha fell to the ground with a bullet hole in her head. From the shadows Moxxie came into view, lowering his rifle to show he was the one to kill the woman. Ralphie, stunned and furies that his wife was murdered, turned to the gun to kill Moxxie out of revenge, forgetting all about Ichigo. This was a mistake.
Before Ralphie could pull the trigger, Ichigo was beside him in a flash and swung his zanpakuto, breaking the gun into pieces. The man staggered from both the sudden blow and the fact he was defenseless against them. He tripped over the body of his dead wife and looked up at Ichigo. The boy glared down at him with a heavy scowl on his face and his zanpakuto pointed right at him. The man shivered in fear as he crawled backward over his wife's body before scampering away into the woods. Ichigo watched him go, deciding it wasn't worth going after him before he walked over and cut the ropes keeping Blitzo and Millie to the post. "Moxxie!" Millie cheered as she jumped off the burning stake and into her husband's arms.
As the two hugged it out, Blitzo grumbled as he had fallen to the ground after he was freed. "Oh yeah, I'm fine!" he called out sarcastically while holding his injured arm.
He then noticed that Ichigo was standing in front of him, his zanpakuto on his shoulder while offering a hand to the imp. "Like a bullet wound is going to stop a guy like you. Orihime can heal that up when we get back."
Blitzo eyed the teen before he smirked and took the offered hand with his good arm and was helped to his feet. As he steady himself he glanced at his intern, seeing faint burns and gunpowder residue on the front of his cloak, leading the imp to truly believe the others were telling the truth. "So, you're bulletproof huh? That would have been nice to know."
Ichigo shrugged as Mille also realized that Ichigo was really shot and rushed over to check him for any injury. "I didn't know myself," Ichigo admitted as he tried to get Millie to calm herself. "I've never been shot before."
"And we aren't testing how bulletproof you really are," Millie stated firmly. "You aren't to get shot again; you hear me mister!?"
Ichigo was taken aback by the soft, yet firm warning Mille gave him. He offered a small chuckle in return, "sure, I'll be careful next time."
"I'm sorry, sir," Moxxie said, stepping up to Blitzo. "I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise."
Blitzo gave him a look before he offered a small smile as he pulled him into a hug with an "apology accepted" but in the hug, Blitzo pulled himself close so he can lowly whisper in Moxxie's ear, "But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and your wife."
Moxxie's eyes went wide at the warning but the taller imp broke the hug as if nothing happen. "Alrighty! Job well done! Now, all we need to do is find short stack."
"Ichigo!"
They all turned towards the voice as Rukia appeared in the clearing, looking around and taking everything in. She looked bewildered before she noticed Martha's dead body on the ground and towards Ichigo, "what happen?"
"Well you missed all the action intern," Blitzo said, happy that they can leave now as he pulled out another phone from his coat. "Better luck next time. Now let's get off."
Moxxie, recovering from the warning his boss gave him, glanced back towards the house and thought of something, "Eh, yeah give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house."
Blitzo rolled his eyes, "okay, fine, but hurry up,'" he told him as he started dialing away and made a call. "Loona! We're ready to come home, dear! ...yes, all the interns are here you can assure your little helper. Oh and tell our nurse she needs to work her magic when we get there. No, it's for me. Hey! It was all Moxxie's fault!"
Ichigo rolled his eyes but felt an odd sense of relief that Yuzu seemed to still be her normal self. He glanced at Rukia and noticed the look on her face, "what's up?"
Rukia had an unassured frown on her face before turning towards him. "I'll explain when we get back, but things aren't what they seem."
Ichigo scowled and nodded, "yeah, I know what you mean. Both the target and her husband were able to see me in my soul form yet they shouldn't."
Rukia looked surprised before she nodded, "I was noticed too, I was even called out by those policemen in the human world. Not only them but the crowd around also noticed me like they all could see me. It can't be a coincidence."
"One more thing," Ichigo said as he jerked his head to Martha's body. "How long does it take for the soul to appear after death? I was never around when someone dies so I don't know for sure."
Rukia's eyes went wide and turned to Martha's body, stepped over and checked her pulse, and confirmed she was indeed dead. She turned back to Ichigo, looking more confused, "I just thought you performed a Konsō on her soul before I got here. If her soul hasn't appeared after she died, then where is it?"
Ichigo didn't have an answer, just as confused as he was.
They didn't speak as Ichigo put out the fire that was used to try and burn the imps so it wouldn't spread as the portal opened up for them by Loona. They were waiting on Moxxie who ran into the clearing a few minutes later. Blitzo noticed and smirked at the smaller imp. "There he is. Have a good wank-off session, Moxxie?"
Moxxie blinked in confusion, "Excuse me?"
Ichigo made a face at how Blitzo was acting but otherwise felt it wasn't worth even commenting as he just wanted this to be done with. Blitzo took no notice as he lectured Moxxie while poking him in the chest. "Look, I don't care where you cum in the living world. Just come to your job on time, alright?" He then grinned and turned to the portal before jumping in as he called out, "See you at the office!"
"You doing okay, sweetie?" Millie asked sweetly to her husband while placing a comforting hand on his cheek.
Moxxie smiled at her, "better now, honey. I think I just needed a minute to process."
Millie smiled at him while placing a hand over his chest, "You have a good heart, honey. Just a fuzzy head." She playfully pinched his nose after saying this, knowing he was feeling better now. She took a moment to glance at Ichigo and Rukia before going through the portal.
Rukia followed soon afterward while Ichigo took a moment to glance at Moxxie, "you really okay man?"
Moxxie blinked at the question but nodded, "yeah I am. I just hand to handle it my way."
Ichigo stared and knew the imp would be fine, "alright then. Hopefully, Blitzo isn't giving Orihime a hard time as she heals him."
He walked through the portal to find themselves back in the main I.M.P office where Loona, Yuzu, and Orihime manage to get into a somewhat working order though you can see the burn marks and the eel tank was no longer there. He took a step before in before he jerked slightly when Yuzu had run up and wrapped him in a surprise hug. She looked up with a smile, "how was your mission?"
"Unexpected," Ichigo answered without going into details. He rather not let his little sister know how bad the missions were nor about how they ended up killing their targets. "I see you guys were busy getting this dump back together."
"Normally intern I would lecture you about how this office is anything but a dump," Blitzo said from one side of the office, causing Ichigo to see that he was sitting down while Orihime was using her powers to cover his arm which was healing and undoing the damage. He grinned when she finished before he flexed his arm and inspected it. "But I'll let it slide since our nurse here can really fix some shit. It's like I was never shot at all. She even fixed up my suit." He grinned at her as he stood up. "If I was paying you, I would offer you a raise."
Orihime beamed and gave a salute, "happy to help boss!"
Blitzo beamed at the respect while Ichigo rolled his eyes but did nothing to start a fight. Blitzo then noticed something with the portal still open, "where's Moxxie?"
Ichigo blinked and saw that the imp wasn't there still, Millie looked concerned at the portal which Loona left open until everyone was back. "He was right behind me," Ichigo told them, confused since he didn't see the imp through the portal into the dark woods.
Blitzo rolled his eyes and stalked towards the portal, "I'll go get him. Loona, tell the client that the bitch is dead and your helper can reveal her surprise."
As the imp jumped through the portal to find the last member of the team, Ichigo looked at his sister who was standing them with a grin showing she was excited about something. "What does he mean Yuzu?"
His sister just beamed wider before she pulled something from behind her back and revealed it to him and the others.
(Scene change)
Hours later the whole team was in the office with their client Mrs. Mayberry celebrating. Turns out the surprise was Yuzu wanted to celebrate the success of their first mission. She had made a banner which said, 'First completed mission!' in blue writing and with Millie's and Orihime's help hang it over the table. Next to it was another banner that read 'Killed the bitch' made by Loona much to the surprise of the others. They did tell Mrs. Mayberry that the job was done but Yuzu, who was on the call with Loona helping her, told her the team was celebrating and asked if she wanted to join them. The sinner was thrilled that not only was the job done but with the sweet offer she went and got them a cake for the team to share. So they stood or sat around the conference table with party hats that Yuzu and Orihime provided. Some like Loona didn't wear them while Ichigo humored his little sister and put on the hat. Moxxie sat before the cake, looking at it slightly depressed about something he saw. They didn't know what it was but figured to give him time to calm down. That didn't stop Millie was hugging her husband in celebration. "You see my little Mox-Mox! We did it! Oh, Moxxie!"
Blitzo lifted his cup of booze as a toast. "Well, here's to the interns' first mission! They did good and Moxxie here finally learned not to fuck up."
"I wouldn't put it like that," Ichigo said, not wanting the imp to give Moxxie a hard time.
"And you guys learned it's okay to kill someone if they are trying to kill you back," Millie added to the teens, knowing now that they would be able to handle themselves and other jobs that come along.
"That's messed up," Mrs. Mayberry confessed surprised that someone that looked so young had to do something like this. When she hired them she was mostly in a rage and bitter but after the other woman's death, she felt calmer than before. "But I paid for it," she also added with a laugh.
"Yeah, fuck that family!" yelled Blitzo happily, slamming his drink to the floor.
Ichigo rolled his eyes but let the others enjoy themselves. He had a feeling whatever news Rukia had to tell them wasn't good news but hoped it wasn't something that made their situation any worst.
How very wrong he was.
So how was that everyone? Not much changed for the mission but that was to get Ichigo's and the other's feet wet into how different this land of the living is while also setting things up for future chapters. Now I am sure some people are surprised at how easily Ichigo was knocked out, well two reasons really. First is he was taken by surprise as he didn't expect anyone, especially their target to be able to see him in his soul form. The second is he has never been shot before, both in his soul form and human form. Japan has very strict gun laws so the punks he usually fights done use any and the enemies he fight as a Soul Reaper didn't use them either. Now he has gotten worst injures then getting shot before and his soul form is very durable so I figured it wouldn't have any lasting damage.
Was it too much? Should there have been more? let me know in a review and if you like this or any of my other stories, try looking up my discord. It's small but I am on pretty much everyday and I would love to see and talk to you all. Pack your bags because next time, we're heading to Loo-Loo Land.