For as long as I could remember, I loved music.

With the shit I went through though as a little kid, it's kinda understandable as to why exactly I enjoyed it in the first place. When you're someone that has separation issues because of a deadbeat dad and emotional issues that also stemmed from it, you look for whatever you can to release a lot of that.

That release was in the form of lyrics specifically.

It started with poetry. Then when I got into middle school, I started putting my words to guitar and piano licks I would come up with every now and again. It wasn't anything earth-shattering, but it was enough for a friend I made in high school named Douxie to be ecstatic at the fact he found another fellow "songwriter".

In comparison to him though, I wasn't jack shit. But he convinced me otherwise. Enough, actually to join him and two others I was friends with in high school to make a band.

I tapped my feet to the beat playing within my head as I scribbled the words playing within my head on the leatherback journal that was sitting in my lap.

Did I ever think we were going to make it this far though?

I glanced away from what I was writing for a moment to look down the corridor before bringing my attention back to the page I was writing on.

Hell fucking no. Do I regret any of it though? Nope.

I leaned my back up against the wall of the backstage hallway that led toward the stage a little more than twenty feet away from me.

Just lay down by my side.
Smile and enjoy the ride.
Who cares if we leave tonight?
Just need you to feel alright.

I scribbled the final line to the off-the-wall chorus as I suddenly despised the words I've written so I just dragged my pen viciously on the paper until it wasn't legible anymore.

When did writing suddenly get so difficult for me? When did words suddenly become too hard for me to gather? What's wrong with me?

I sighed as I leaned my head back and let it tap lightly against the hard black wall behind me.

"You seem stumped." I whipped my head toward the familiar female voice that joined my side. Instantly I was graced with the sight of the bassist of our band but also someone I cared about more than nearly anyone else within our small little world.

Claire Maria Nuñez.

I gave her a nervous smile as I dropped the flat pen I was using in my journal before closing it shut and laying it limp into my lap.

For as long as I could remember, Claire and I got along as if we've known each other our whole lives. Even though we didn't really meet until Douxie introduced us.

The problem was though, I knew Claire before then and I was already hopelessly head over heels for the girl and was already writing nearly every single song I made about her which made it a little bit awkward for me when we started hanging out and became bandmates and then soon after friends, but we got through it. Despite her unknowingly becoming friends with someone that was harboring a hella big onesided crush on her.

God, I think that as if I still don't like her. Goddamn me.

I swallowed hard as I glanced down at my journal before looking back up toward her.

"Yeah. Just a little bit. I just-." I leaned my head back against the wall as she walked over toward me and made her way down to sit beside me. "I can't write seemingly. Not today at least." I watched as she gave me an easy smile that caused my heart to flutter in my chest.

"You always act like not being able to write every single day is a bad thing." She gave me a soft laugh as she brought her right hand up to collapse it over my left shoulder. "You gotta give yourself a break, Lake."

"Say that to my brain, Nuñez." She flashed me a smirk before twisting her body just the slightest so that she could cup my face with both her hands and bring my head closer to her.

"Hey brain, leave him the fuck alone for once, huh?" I couldn't help but let out a nervous chuckle as a blush painted my cheeks. She let out an angelic laugh as she let go of my face and allowed me to bring myself back to my original seating position. "Better?" She flashed me a wide toothy grin afterward as I leaned back against the backstage wall.

"Yeah." I tried my best to hide my blush behind a subtle smile. "Better."

"Good." She placed her right hand back onto my left shoulder before giving it a soft squeeze. "I don't think I can withstand the rest of this tour without you." I swallowed dryly as her words caused more of a reaction than I figured she meant to get from me.

Calm yourself, Lake. You're just friends. Nothing more. Alright?

"Yeah." My smile widened as I brought up my left hand so it collapsed over hers. "Same with you." She flashed me a nearly blinding smile as she squeezed my shoulder once more.

Christ.

I felt my smile turned into a lopsided grin as I tried my best to not show any signs of the ragging heart within my chest.

This girl is going to be the death of me.

Suddenly, she got herself back up onto her feet and took her hand out from under mine so she could present to me with a smile.

"How about we take on the rest of today together then, huh? Maybe it will help that brain of yours relax a little." I looked up toward her like a fool as my brain mentally compared the smiling woman before me with the girl I knew in high school. Despite being older and forgoing her old Papa Skull's Hamlet album sweater to some of our own merch that still fit the purple, pink, and black aesthetic she created all those years ago, she was still the same girl to me. The same heartfelt smile and small pimples residing in her cheeks as well as the same hazel eyes that would cause my mind to lose its train of thought at times. The same scattered freckles residing on her tanned skin that reminded me still of the stars across a night sky.

She was beautiful to me. Even after all this time. And I don't think I would ever mind being lost in her for all of time.

I took her hand with a smile as I allowed her to help me up off the floor with my journal now residing in my opposite hand.

"If anyone is going to help me ease my mind, it's you anyway." She took pride in my words as I now stood right beside her.

"You bet your poetry writing ass I am." We shared a laugh at that as I realized her hand never left mine. It caused my heart to flutter as she started using our joint hands to tug me down the hallway. "How about we just chill a little then? I'm pretty sure we have an hour still until the final sound checks. Even then, I don't think Douxie would mind us being a little late for once." I allowed her to lead me down the hallway as I allowed my mouth at the moment to do the talking for me.

"Are you sure want to use 'for once' in that sentence? I'm pretty sure we're almost always late, Nuñez." She gave me a mischievous grin as her hand suddenly tightened around mine.

"Don't give me any ideas, Lake. I might have them be one less a guitarist and bassless if you give me a reason." I gave her a lopsided smile as I already knew deep down that even though neither of us would ever do that to our fans or Douxie, I wouldn't mind the trouble the punk would have gotten me in if we did.

Because did I ever regret anything that had Claire involved?

My smile widened as she gave me a joyous smile before turning her attention toward wherever she was dragging me away to.

Hell fucking no.