December 20th, 1985

* tw: substance abuse *

"Shit!" She scolded, seeing the smoke come out of the oven as she opened the door. Lorraine took a washcloth and tried to get the pizza out of the oven as soon as she could. Whilst she did, Robin laughed hysterically behind her. She smiled, waving the smoke away from her face.

"I swear I'm usually really good at this." She laughed once more, placing the carbonized pizza on the counter. She placed her hands on her hips and blew some hair out of her face with a sharp huff of breath.

"Hey, I never said I don't believe ya," Robin smiled, kicking her feet up on the small stool that was placed in front of the armchair in the sitting room.

"So," She continued, changing topic quickly. "Since you didn't tell me it was your birthday last week, I want every detail about what Eddie got you."

It was Christamas vacation for Robin, and they had been hanging out for the past couple of days. Lorraine liked having a friend that was somewhat like her, not in the best situation but just trying to make it out breathing. They had talked about Eddie, how he made her feel. In turn, Robin told her about her friends, and a girl named Vickie. Lorraine didn't need her to say it, but she knew that she wasn't just a friend to her.

Lorraine raised an eyebrow, giving her a large grin.

"Okay not those details!" Her face squished in her horror, shaking her head.

"Well," Lorraine giggled. "He did get me my favorite book." She smiled, her eyes wondering to the memory of Eddie's handwriting spread across the tan, tarnished book pages. She bit her lip softly, looking back at Robin.

"Oh, what is it? I'm more of a movie gal myself." She took her feet down, leaning forwards in her seat and placing her arms in her knees, intrigued.

"The Velveteen Rabbit. My mom used to read it to me, well, before she died" She said softly smiling, gulping as she finished the sentence.

"Oh," Robin's expression changed almost immediately, regretting she had asked.

Lorraine shot a hand in the air, walking over to the stool that Robin was using as a footrest. She plopped down, wiping the ash from her fingers with the cloth. "It's okay, it happened a long time ago. She was actually the one that got me into reading and writing." She smiled nostalgically, thinking of those nights she spent with her mother reading all types of books, with different characters and worlds.

"You write?" Robin's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Oh, yeah." She laughed tossing the cloth over to the couch. "But I mean, I'm not a writer."

"But that's so cool!" Robin exclaimed, raising her brows and smiling widely. "Are you writing something right now?"

"Sort of, I mean," She stammered, not knowing if it was worth telling. "It's a story about a boy who lives in the woods, and one day he discovers that he really isn't the last person on Earth."

Robin said nothing, almost waiting for Lorraine to continue telling her story. She laughed, shaking her head. "It's still just an idea, I don't have much."

"Has Eddie read it?"

Lorraine froze for a moment, she was so scared that this was a bad idea, a bad story that she hasn't even shown Eddie what she has done so far. She knows he would enjoy it, because it's him. He'd enjoy a two-word sentence if she wrote it.

"I haven't shown anyone, actually." She smiled forcefully.

"Well," Robin said standing up. "Then I must be the first!"

Lorraine laughed, standing up with her. "First let me get us some pizza, I mean, I do owe you a birthday celebration."

"That's true, you do owe me your birthday party." She laughed, as Lorraine went to the phone to order a pepperoni pizza.

A banging on the door startled the girls as they were watching Christmas specials on Lorraine's small TV. Lorraine got up quickly, going to the kitchen counter and grabbing the twenty she left beforehand. Another bang erupted on the door, full of impatience.

"I'm coming!" She shouted, annoyed, but finally came to the door and swung it open. Her breath clenched from the cold that was creeping in.

"Steve?" Her brows strung together, as he walked passed with another boy following. She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes, closing the door.

"Okay, so I brought popcorn and some movies." He said, placing a few brown paper bags on the kitchen counter. Lorraine turned, crossing her arms, not sure what the hell he was doing there.

"This is Dustin, by the way." He signaled to the boy who was now sitting next to Robin on the couch, taking off his coat eagerly. He was wearing a cap that said "Thinking Cap" on it, which Lorraine smirked and giggled. That's pretty cute, she thought.

"What the hell are you doing here Henderson?" She said, forcefully.

He turned his face towards her, with two beer cans in his hands. His look was that of shock, like he had no idea that Lorraine didn't know he would be coming. He shot a look at Robin, who gave a small smile with pencil straight lips.

"I invited him." She broke the silence, "You guys need to get along, we all work together and it would be way better that way."

"You'll love him!" Beamed the boy beside Robin, almost jumping up and down. "I mean, he ain't got much going on in that head of his besides the flawless hair, and he isn't bad on the eyes."

Lorraine sighed but chuckled, Dustin seemed like such a sweet and genuine kid that she almost felt like she was obliged to take his word. Bang, bang bang! Another loud knock rung behind her as she jumped and clenched the bill in her hand. She laughed at being scared, shaking her head.

"Finally, dinner." She smiled, turning on her heel and opening the door once more, expecting the cold embrace. She never expected to see an angry Eddie standing there, his leather jacket zipped to the top and his nose and lips blushing a deep red. Before she could open her mouth to say hello, Eddie walked past her, almost knocking her down when his shoulder slammed with hers. What the fuck, Eddie?

"Aren't you guys missing a freak?" He clapped his hands together, rubbing them menacingly. He pursed his lips and let his hands fall to his sides, leaning his head to the direction of Steve.

"Eddie!" Exclaimed Dustin, "I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Be here? Nah, I'm just passing through" He laughed, sticking out his tongue, not breaking eye contact with Steve.

"Eddie," Lorraine said in almost a whisper, reaching to touch his arm. He immediately broke his gaze with Steve, looking at Lorraine. At first, she felt the anger that was burning through those chocolate eyes, the ember slowly dying out into a sad, almost scared look. He pursed his lips once more, turning and heading to the door. Lorraine was confused, as was the others, as they heard the door open and close as Eddie disappeared behind it.

"I'll… I'll be right back" She stammered, rushing behind Eddie. She clenched her hands to her arms trying to keep warm as she marched through the snow.

"Eddie, where are you going?" She said, Eddie turning around to see her shaking from the cold.

"Nothing, I'm playing at The Hideout tonight, remember?" He said, not looking at her as he swung his hands back and forth, clapping them softly.

"Shit." She muttered to herself. "Eddie, Robin came and wanted to hang out and I-"

He lifted a hand and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Don't worry, Lor, I get it. Hang out with them, I'll call you." Eddie turned from Lorraine and continued walking towards his van, he climbed into it and turned on the engine.

Lorraine stood there, feeling like the biggest piece of shit on Earth.

He took off his shirt, sweating after the performance, throwing it onto the couch as the others started packing their things. Eddie sat on the couch, placing his sneaker on the table in front of him. His sniffled, angrily, placing a hand over his hand as he stared into nothing

"It wasn't as bad as you think, Eddie." Gareth said concerned.

"Yeah, you're taking it too seriously." Jeff continued, delicately.

Eddie shook his head and gave an angry frown, as he reached for his cigarettes on the table. He took one out and lit it quickly, taking a long drag before speaking.

"It's whatever." He said stiffly. His mind was thinking of the concert that had just finished, so he was unable to concentrate properly. Looking at the crowd he only saw the same four or five drunks, some of them clients of his, who would just nod their head. Lorraine's face would flash before his eyes, seeing her with the others in her house had got to him for some reason. All of this culminated to that he had fucked up the solo on one of their songs, missing the strings stupidly. He hated himself for it.

Looking at each other quietly, the bandmates got their things and walked out of the backstage area, giving a small goodbye and wave to Eddie.

Never responding, Eddie was still in his thoughts. She'll probably realize how much of a freak I really am, he thought. He tried to push the thoughts out of his head, knowing that truly she never thought that. Lorraine never treated him differently than anyone else. Matter of fact, she treated him better than anyone he knew. He closed his eyes, continuing his cigarette as he sighed.

Thoughts of his father teaching him how to measure different drugs, at what price and when they're more 'in season'. He hated him for paving the way for him becoming who he was today, and thought perhaps that he would end up just like him. It dreaded him, to the point where he thought he'd never leave this shit hole and escape what was supposed to be his fate.

He put out the cigarette in the ashtray on the table, pulling his feet to the ground and leaning his elbows on his knees. Taking his hands into his face, he rubbed his eyes as if to stop the thoughts from flowing.

Lorraine was the only thing that made it seem like he was destined for something else, other than what everyone thought of him. But the moment he saw her with them, he thought that she would just.. Leave. He shook his head again, groaning. She wouldn't do that, he thought, she loves you. You love her. Even though he tried to convince himself, the nagging voice kept creeping back.

"Eddie, man." A man burst through the doorway, making Eddie jump in place. He gave a forceful smile, taking out a hand to shake the man's.

The man seemed nervous, a client of his just recently, as he turned his head to the sides looking to see if the coast was clear.

"You got.. The.. you know…" He stuttered, "The Special K."

Eddie gave a sigh and nodded, the man smiling. He stood up and walked over to his guitar case, where he took out a few baggies of a white substance. He looked at them, playing with the plastic between his fingers.

He turned and handed the baggies to the man, who then gave him a fifty dollar bill for the lot. The man eagerly sat on the couch, disposing some of the contents of the baggie onto the glass table in the middle of the room.

Eddie raised his brow, confused as to how quickly the man got to business. He sat back down on the couch, beside the customer, and rested on the wall.

"You want some?" The man said, as he wiped his nose between his fingers, snorting. He handed the rolled bill in between his fingers to Eddie, gesturing for him to take it.

He hesitated for a moment, looking at the bill in his hand it was like fate was tempting him once more. This is exactly what they want, what they expected. He took a deep breath. If he could embrace being the freak, he could embrace being the druggie. He could embrace being the criminal.

"Fuck it." He said, quickly taking the bill and leaning towards the powder that the other prepared for him