Chapter 7

Victoria had been on her own ever since her mother had passed away, followed by the departure of her brothers and father. From day one, don Alejandro was a great support to her. He had always provided her with solicited and less solicited advice.
Victoria wished she could consult the old don for advice this time.
She could not because the man was anything but unbiased.
Don Alejandro would say she should take Diego up on his offer with open arms. And she was aware he was probably right, as well.
Victoria would have done it without further thought had the risk not been so high.
It was not she feared losing her freedom. Or that she didn't trust Diego, and he would ruin her in some way financially. It had nothing to do with the thought she maybe wasn't able to keep her word.
Diego's offer had given her a lot about thinking. Decisions she had to make and the consequences she might have to face and disliked.

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Three days passed. Diego didn't mention his offer, and Victoria got tossed between solving her problems by just saying one word. It made her have to face new, more disturbing issues after she accepted or had no chance of ever owning a business again.
Victoria retreated to her room to think all over once more and enjoy the luxury of a nice bath. She spends hours soaking in the warm water, pondering about Diego and his offer.
The man had been on her mind in the recent weeks more often than she wanted to admit. It was only natural Victoria soothed herself when one was living in another once a house for that person was more on your mind.
And his joke about a wedding proposal..., It was a good thing she had realized it was merely an ill-timed joke. All she had to do was get out of her head as soon as possible. No, Victoria corrected herself. She didn't have to get it out of her head. When she thought she had to get it out of her head, it meant it was in her head. Which it wasn't.

It had been a bad joke. There was nothing, absolutely NOTHING to it.

Next to the bath was a scented bar of soap and a bottle of lotion that Victoria used profusely. The scent was delicious, and her skin felt silky soft.
Strange that she thought of it as her room while it was a guest room. She felt at home in the hacienda. Everyone was kind and helpful. Victoria was even beginning to get used to the fact that she didn't have to get up before dawn to make the necessary preparations to open the tavern on time.
The thing that was bothering her was don Diego's unpredictable behaviour. One moment he was sitting comfortably somewhere, doing nothing. He was reading or playing his piano. Two seconds later, Diego seemed to have vanished into thin air and could not get found anywhere. Only to reappear just as unexpectedly somewhere in the hacienda, hours later, most often in the library.

It was no strange behaviour for Diego. Usually, he was fleeing from trouble, like having to spend a day in the saddle tracking down cattle thieves. It did irritate her. When you casually asked where he had suddenly disappeared off to. Diego gave a vague answer or a tiring story about him watering the plants, or he suddenly remembered something important that could not get delayed any longer.
All this odd behaviour, for what reason, Victoria asked herself. Sometimes it felt like Diego was avoiding her.

Victoria had come used to Diego accompanying her to the pueblo.
This morning she had waited for him until half-past eight. And when she had nonchalantly remarked on it on her return, Diego had mumbled embarrassed he had overslept.
Overslept!? Uh, right. She might have believed him hadn't she not heard footsteps creeping along the corridor outside her door at half-past five in the morning. Victoria didn't know what he had been up to, but Diego had not been in his bedroom that morning.

Victoria dropped onto the comfortable double bed and stared at the white ceiling.
The offer Diego had made was tempting. Not as tempting as a weddingpro…, No, she didn't want to think about it ever again. She was engaged to the man she loved.
Was she to accept his offer? Victoria trusted Diego enough to know that he would not take advantage of the position of power it would give him over her. Diego would indeed let her take care of matters her way. She did not need an official document for that.

Startled cause for the second time since she was at the hacienda, Victoria heard some soft tapping against the window. She jumped off the bed and hastily put on her dressing gown. She knew who was on the other side of the garden door. Zorro! Victoria quickly glanced at the mirror and stroked wet hair from her face. She was still a little reddish from the warm water, and her fingertips wrinkled from the long time she had been spent in the water.
As soon as she opened the door, Victoria felt strong arms encircle her.

"Zorro." Victoria had missed him and greeted the man with a wide smile. She knew he had been in the pueblo several times over the past few weeks. Now that she spent most of the day at the hacienda, she only heard he had shown up hours after Zorro had left Los Angeles.
Victoria felt his moustache tickle her neck.

"You smell wonderful." He uttered.

Victoria blushed at the intimate remark.
"The advantage of staying at the hacienda and having servants do most of the work."

"I'm sorry I didn't visit you any sooner." Confessed Zorro.

Victoria answered his kiss first before she said. "I have heard how busy you have been. Almost every day, I receive a detailed report from Sergeant Mendoza. You want to come in?"

Zorro hesitated for a moment and then stepped into the spacious bedroom.
Hurriedly Victoria moved a folding screen to hide the bath from view.
Zorro sat down on a chair that seemed too delicate for his large stature. He took off his hat and removed his gloves.

"I saw they have finished cleaning up the remains," Zorro said.

"Yes, and don Diego has finished the drawings for a new tavern. They can start building as soon as I approve. Thanks, by the way, for finding my savings."

He gave her a smile and a nod. "You're welcome."

"Did you perhaps find my ring? I've been looking for it every day..."
Victoria glanced at him, hopefully.

Zorro looked at her. Victoria thought she saw a hint of remorse in his eyes.
"Unfortunately."

She had to swallow away some heart pain. The ring was dear to her and felt like a huge loss. If even Zorro had failed to find the ring, it must be lost forever.

Zorro asked her. "Tell me, how are you getting on?"

Victoria shrugged her shoulders, seating herself in the opposite chair. "I can't complain. Many people do what they can to help."

Zorro's voice softened. "And the rebuilding of the tavern...? I can't imagine the money I found is enough for rebuilding..."

Victoria sighed. She might as well have taken Zorro into her confidence.
"You are right. It's going to cost a lot of money, a whole lot. The bank has already said it will refuse me a new mortgage."

Zorro gave her a pitiful look. "I'm afraid I can't help you either. I can give you a few hundred pesos but not nearly what you need."

Victoria stammered. "There's no need for that. Besides, don Diego has offered to help."

Zorro was genuinely interested. "Don Diego, really?"

Victoria nodded. "Yes, don Diego suggested buying the ground for one peso. He will rebuild a new tavern which I can run. Later, when I paid his costs, I can repurchase the tavern for one peso."

Zorro said. "You sound like you don't like the idea."

"I don't know. I've never been accountable to anyone."

"Surely, you can make some arrangement about that part. As far as I know, don Diego is a reasonable man."

"Oh, yes. More than reasonable. Don Diego has promised to give me a completely free rein."

"Then what are your objections?" Zorro wanted to know.

Victoria thought about this for a long time. "Nothing, really. At most, it feels like I'm taking advantage of his generosity. Don Diego says it's a business proposition, but I know full well that he'll hardly be going to make any money out of it."

Zorro stroked his thumb thoughtfully over his moustache before speaking again. "Isn't that for him to decide? It sounds to me like he wants to help a friend and has the means to do so. The man is no fool, rushing into something he doesn't want."

Victoria squeezed her eyes, gazing at Zorro.
"You think I should accept his offer? It will be years before I get my tavern back, even with the ridiculously low interest he probably asks me to pay."

Zorro said."Victoria, you are a clever woman. I'm sure you'll do as you think is fit."

She hopefully suggested. "I can't come and live with you in your cave, can I?"

Regretfully Zorro whispered. "I never want to put you through that kind of life." Zorro leant over to her and grabbed her hand.
"Victoria, I cannot wait for the day to arrive when I can call you mine. However, I want that to be in the only honourable way."

"That is another thing on my mind," Victoria confessed, she stared at the large hand stroking and holding hers. "What if the day comes you are a free man? Where will we live then? I'll probably still need to pay off Diego by then." Shyly, Victoria gazed at Zorro. It was a subject they had never discussed before. Partly because of lack of time. Partly because they both knew it would be a long time before the day was due to arrive. By not talking about it, no expectations got created.

"Victoria, when that day comes, we will talk about it. I'm sure we'll all work it out. When I asked you to marry me, I never meant to imply that I require you to give up the tavern for me."

Victoria was surprised by this. She could not imagine what it would be like to live with Zorro in the tavern.
"So you mean you want to come and live with me? In the tavern?" She asked, not being able to hide her amazement.

"It seems more comfortable for us than my cave." It was not his serious answer, Victoria knew.

"It is just I never imagined you living in the pueblo." She whispered.

"Victoria, I want to spend my life with you. Whether it is in Los Angeles or any place else.
Finding a way to spend my life with you is part of what I'm fighting for." Zorro gazed at Victoria with such intensity that it was almost painful. The look in his eyes spoke of so much love. Victoria wanted to free herself from the intense stare. In her mind, she heard a tiny voice squeaking.
Victoria forgot this voice when she got caught by his eyes. It was like their heads are connected by a thin thread getting pulled towards each other until his lips found hers in a kiss.

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The conversation with Zorro had done Victoria well. He had shown so much confidence in her judgment. Not for a moment had she felt that he was treating her like a simple female who didn't understand everything. Something many men did have the intensity to do. Also, seeing Zorro had finally allowed her to banish Diego's joke from her mind.
That night Victoria decided to take don Diego's offer. Call her an idiot, but she had done it. Victoria had, however, set some additional conditions.

After Victoria told Diego she accepted his offer, everything accelerated. That same day Victoria had made the agreements with don Diego.
The interest that Diego wanted to charge was, as Victoria had suspected, ridiculously low. She had to insist before he admitted it was because he missed her cooking and chatting in the tavern.
She was now paying an interest rate two per cent lower than she used to pay the bank. In return, Victoria promised to make one of his favourite meals one time a week.
The contract got signed in the presence of Padre Benitez.
Immediately afterwards, Diego had ordered the men who offered their services to begin rebuilding the tavern.

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A couple of days later, Diego and Felipe had travelled to Santa Paula to settle everything financially with the bank. And Diego had placed a gigantic order with a furniture maker for new furniture entirely according to her wishes. Together they had worked on the blueprint again. Diego had made further adjustments. To the ceiling, another chandelier got added. And he had drawn in a large room that would become the living quarters for the manager. The room was three times the size of her old bedroom. When Victoria protested, the don had not taken no for an answer. Since it was his building, Diego felt it was his obligation to make certain the manager had proper private quarters. For everything else, Diego had kept his word and given her a free hand to determine what happened. Although..,

When they ordered a new stove, Victoria suggested getting the cheapest ones from the catalogue. However, Diego had seen her looking at a larger stove with several compartments and had ordered it for her. She had bravely resisted. But with some charming persuasion on his part, Victoria had given in and ordered the stove she indeed secretly preferred.

Zorro had also stopped by. He had tried to give her his money. Unlike don Diego, he hadn't pushed his way through at her refusal to take it.
She did find a beautiful hand-carved figurine three days later by her pillow in the form of two love doves on a branch at it was a note.

My home is with you.

Victoria had hidden the gift in the closest. For some reason, every time she laid eyes on it, it made her feel uncomfortable.

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Construction was proceeding smoothly, and Victoria suspected this was because Diego had promised each worker a reward when the work got finished before the scheduled date.
There was no way other than it was all costing Diego a fortune. Victoria had asked several times to get informed about the costs. Diego kept careful track of all the expenses, and Victoria had to admit it was less than she anticipated.
It was due to reusing some of the old bricks, and some excellent negotiating tactics on the part of Diego that most goods got purchased more cheaply than she would ever have managed on her own.

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A month passed, and the skeleton of the new tavern stood. Yesterday, the highest point got reached. And next week, the roof would come on.
Late in the afternoon, Victoria returned tired but satisfied to the hacienda where she still stayed.
Victoria sometimes did feel increasingly uneasy in the presence of Diego.
Diego kept regularly behaving strangely, so to speak. Victoria had the feeling that he often was staring at her. But then, when she tried to confirm her superstition, he was busy doing something else or talking to someone.
She had started by trying to avoid Diego. It did little to help keep him out of her mind.

Victoria caught herself, to her annoyance, thinking more and more often about what would Diego think of things.
Fortunately, there was a more than a logical explanation for why Diego popped into her mind so often. He was her business partner, and she saw him several times a day. She discussed important things with him that would affect the next few years of her life.
All of that. And both were good friends, and Diego valued her opinion, which was a comforting thought.

All the excuses she some up with didn't explain the tension that sometimes existed between them.
Or why she spent nights staring at the ceiling, seeing his eyes and smile before her eyes.

Diego regularly came to eat at the open-air restaurant and, after a fierce argument, had finally stopped tipping very generous.
Victoria did suspect him of putting money into her cash box unseen at unguarded moments. Her cash box regularly did not match her expectation. She had no hard evidence, and Diego denied it outright. Diego wasn't the only one tipping more than before the fire. So, it could be a coincidence.
She was busy taking care of guests again, and the days flew by. Victoria hardly had time to think about what had happened.

Every time she came into the plaza and didn't see the familiar image of her tavern there, it did hurt. But now, the new building was beginning to take more shape by the day. Victoria daydreamed at the prospect of what it would become.

Victoria never found her engagement ring again.
She, Felipe and Diego had searched for it meticulously. Of all the things Victoria had lost, this she considered the worst.

Zorro regularly showed himself in the pueblo. But because she was most of the time at the hacienda, she had not spoken to him in weeks. At least no more than the usual adios, señorita or goodbye, señorita.
His greetings did seem more distant, and her replies were less enthusiastic, as others in the pueblo had begun to notice.

Zorro did manage to surprise her once more.
When Victoria had entered the kitchen of her open-air restaurant in the morning, a package was lying there. Curious what it was, she had torn open the brown paper. His gift had taken her breath away.
Zorro had given her a silver hand mirror with an accompanying horsehair brush. The package had also contained two ivory hair combs.
The biggest surprise had been that the hand mirror was an almost identical copy of the one she had had from her parents.
Victoria had more than a vague suspicion about how Zorro had known about the ruined mirror.

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Since Victoria had been taking advantage of the de la Vega's hospitality for over seven weeks, she had also begun to make herself useful in the hacienda. Don Alejandro kept repeating that he saw her as a welcome guest and didn't want Victoria to do something in return.
It had taken some convincing. In fact, Victoria had insisted on it until the don didn't dare refuse longer. She was allowed to help Maria with the household chores. Although the housekeeper also had a knack for giving her only light tasks like polishing silver or sweeping and dusting one of the many rooms.
Today Maria had asked Victoria to bring a stack of towels and bedding to the linen room in the back of the family wing.

Victoria was in the process of putting the towels in their proper place in the closet when she heard a voice coming from the hallway. Automatically she pricked up her ears.

"Yes, Felipe. I know you think I should tell her. I want to. As much as I hate lying, I just can't."

Victoria wanted to warn the speaker that there were more listeners than Diego thought. Yet her feet were nailed to the floor, and her tongue stuck to her palate.

"I don't know how much longer I can tolerate her closeness.
I loathe the secrecy. Seeing Victoria constantly in the hacienda is torture. I don't know how much longer I can keep up appearances. Seeing her here every moment of the day. I hate it."

Victoria didn't believe what she was hearing. Diego was talking about her. The man she considered her best friend was saying awful things about her.

Victoria had always thought that Diego considered her a good friend as well. In her mind, they were almost as close as brother and sister. Hearing the don telling the truth was devastating. Diego couldn't stand her.
He hated her presence in his house. And she had been here for over seven weeks. His words explained all the questions she had concerning his behaviour. All these weeks, Diego had tried to avoid her as much as he dared without seeming rude. He has gone out of his way to have the tavern rebuilt as quickly as possible. She had believed it was out of friendship. And now, she heard the cruel truth. Diego couldn't stand her and wanted her to return to Los Angeles as soon as possible. He was even willing to lend her thousands of pesos to do so with no guarantee that she could ever pay it back.
Victoria slapped her hand over her mouth. She, desperately, pressed her hands against her mouth, attempting to mute the cries of pain, betraying her presence. His words tore her apart. The pain was indescribable. Victoria wanted to scream out the pain his harsh words caused.

"Felipe, I don't know what to do. I can't tell her. What if..., what if..." Diego's voice broke, and Victoria couldn't hear what he was saying. What she could hear were the words Diego uttered next in despair. "I'd rather die."

With great difficulty, Victoria managed to keep silent. She felt tears begin to flow down her cheeks. Diego hated her. The man who was most dear to her after Zorro hated her. Had she not heard Diego say the words himself, Victoria would never have believed it true.
It was without a doubt that Diego had revealed what he was actually feeling for her.
Victoria sank through her feet to the floor and sat there motionless for a long time while tears continued to flow profusely.
The pain increased with every breath she took.
In long gasps, she sobbed desperately.

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Finally, Victoria scrambled back to her feet and cautiously opened the door. She peered into the deserted hallway and ran into the guest room, throwing herself on the bed. For the umpteenth time in the past few weeks, Victoria cried. This time, however, it was different. Victoria was not crying over the loss of material things. She realized now that the fire in the tavern no longer bothered her. Victoria cried her heart out because a most cherished friendship turned out to be a big lie.

The tavern and all she had lost, none of them mattered any longer. The loss of the tangible memories all had become worthless in seconds.
Today, it was that Victoria lost the most valuable thing she ever thought she owned and had lost it forever. She never had it at all.
Through the words Diego uttered so sincerely, Victoria realized something. It was something she had perhaps always known and had never wanted to acknowledge as a possible truth.
Victoria clenched her fists, slamming the pillows. If only she had made this discovery earlier on. Then she could have armoured herself and saved her the pain.

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That evening Victoria excused herself for dinner, telling Maria she had a headache. She could not put up with the idea of Diego having to endure her presence any longer.

Diego came knocking at her door to ask if there was anything he could do and whether she might need the doctor.

Uncomfortable standing in the doorway, Victoria told him she wanted to rest. The ever-gallant caballero was ever so polite and wished her to recover soon and a good night.

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Victoria used her time to pack up her sparse belongings and write a letter to don Alejandro. She thanked the old don for all he had done for her. Victoria planned to go to the North first. The capital city had many inns. She wanted to try to find work in one of them. From there, she would figure out what to do next.

Victoria also wrote a letter to Zorro, breaking off the engagement. In it, she apologized for losing his mother's ring and begged forgiveness for her abrupt decision. Devastated, Victoria admitted to herself Zorro had been right all along. She had refused to acknowledge it earlier. Only now that it was too late did she comprehend Zorro's fear that she was in love with a black cloth and not the man hiding behind the mask. He had been proved right.

The words don Diego had said hurt so infinitely more than she had thought possible. Victoria had always taken his presence and friendship for granted. And at last, too late, she had discovered what actually was in her heart.

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