XL. Silver Duplicity
Within the heaven of the divine repose
Revolves a body, in whose virtue lies
The being of whatever it contains.
Bitch, what the actual fuck?
In all honesty, they should've seen this coming. It seems though, that they were too giddy at the possibility of playing a game to even consider that this could be a possible turn of events.
—Stop thinking. You're literally being stabbed!
Malin grits their teeth and wraps their hands around the handle of Mozi's knife, their fingernails digging into hers. Their breathing quickens as they thrust themselves backwards, attempting to dislodge the blade between the layers of their navel.
What the fuck— despite Mozi's efforts, them free themself from her initial attack, their blood splattering against the two of them's faces. Why did I—
Stop thinking and start surviving!
Mal crouches down in their chair, moving their feet up and onto the cushion until they're able to stand. Mozi looks at them, a sudden and unfamiliar sense of disgust in her eyes as she raises the knife to their throat. They jerk to the side, avoiding her attack with ease and leaving her ever-so-slightly stunned. Taking advantage of her brief lapse in awareness, Malin leaps off of the chair and runs to the opposite corner of the room.
Their eyes dart to the girl from Three, her face ablaze with delight— and the girl from Five, clearly scared out of her poor mind.
"Get back here," Mozi screams.
Mal's fingers graze upon the white quartz countertop besides themas they hoist themself upwards and beginning flicking through a rack of various sorts of supplies. There's gotta be something that I can uses in here. They sigh in mounting frustration. There's no fucking way that I'm not living through this shit.
(They can't afford to be the unfortunate victim of betrayal for a second time.)
Mozi barrels towards them, knife in hand. As soon as she's within their range, Mal instinctively kicks their foot upwards and into her chin.
She tries to keep balanced but there's a clear struggle so she curses, "This is all your fucking fault! Why the hell did you have to go and ruin everything?"
They're confused. She doesn't sound like the girl that Malin spent nearly two weeks basking in the presence of. Instead, Mozi basically sounds like a stranger to them. Maybe she should've always been one.
Again, they dig through the racks, a sharp prick in their thumb signaling them that they've finally found a weapon, a knife to be specific. They wrap their hand around the hilt, only to feel a sharp pain simmering in their left foot.
As they wobble, Mal glances down to see Mozi's blade cutting through their shoe.
They tighten their grip around their own knife's handle until their knuckles turn white. With a sigh, they push the weight of their body onto Mozi's chest, the girl plummeting to the ground beneath them as they fall.
Mozi's knife flies through the air, eventually landing right in front of the gulf from Three. Mal continues to press Mozi against the ground with their thighs, using their two-fingered hand to bring her face close to theirs.
They're not sure if Mozi is reading their lips, but regardless, Malin mouths, "Why the fuck did you do this to me? I trusted you!"
They did. That's why it hurts so much, because they really, truly, did. Lord knows they'll never trust anybody ever again now.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on m—
"I did trust you, but playtime's over now." Their introspection is cut off by Mozi's sinister laughter.
She tries clawing at them, but Mal refuses to move a single muscle in recoil. Instead, they focus on positioning their knife over her throat. They can tell that she's growing somewhat manic as she feels the cold steel pressing closer to her skin.
Fuck, fuck, fuck…
Mozi's laugh dies down as she takes another few seconds to comprehend the situation, her eyes re wide with panic. Her breath hitches in her throat when Mal moves their free arm to place the tip of their weapon directly underneath her chin.
"You don't have to do this to me," Mozi tries to beg them to spare her. "We can be friends just like how things were a few minutes ago. We can be best friends!"
She's lying, they think to themself. She doesn't want anything to do with me now, 'cause she never wanted anything to do with me ever at all. This was always her plan, wasn't it?
Malin's always been the universe's scapegoat. Nobody's ever cared for them, not their parents, nor the Marquis, nor Orsino, and now most definitely not Mozi. They've spent seventeen years being somebody for everyone to dump their blame and pity on, but that all ends now.
They slash their knife vertically through Mozi's throat, watching blood spurt into the air and on their hands as Mozi starts to choke. Mal's eyes narrow into a sliver of a grin as they widen their incision, their knife now slick with her fluids. They press deeper, tearing through her skin like an animal.
Mozi chokes out a pained moan as the knife slides down further, exposing her larynx, and making crimson spray onto Mal's forehead. They retract the blade and use their hands instead to further widen the hole until they're able to fit all five fingers inside. Mal reaches upwards, not minding the bloodied bile that drips onto their wrist as they grab onto her tongue.
With a violent pull, they yank it through the hole in her neck, letting it hang out pointed towards her sternum. She unleashes a final dying gasp that seems more like a cackle before falling limp to the ground, a cannon firing to confirm what Malin already knows.
Shit… They sigh, still in disbelief of everything that's transpired in the past five minutes. She's really gone; what the fuck?
Mal didn't think they'd feel so broken over it considering the only reason they killed her was for their own survival. The speed at which the life they thought they knew just, changed so rapidly… it nearly makes them sick.
With their head in their hands, they let out an aggrieved sigh. What the fuck! What the actual, fucking fuck!
They remember the wound in their stomach, and look down to see that they're still bleeding a smidge, so they use their hands like a tourniquet in an attempt to get it to the stop.
But at the same time, they wonder, What does it matter if the bleeding doesn't stop? I'll still be dead enough in my head… Lord, they're so fucking stupid— never should've gotten attached to her, never should've trusted her, never should've even communicated with her in the first place— they should've known that their alliance with Mozi was too good to be true.
After all, why would anybody ever see anything good in me? I'm just a street rat, for fuck's sake. Everyone only likes me 'cause I can give them a thrill for a while, but eventually they get sick of me. I can't even blame them for getting sick of me, the only reason I'm here is because I'm sick of myself and all the trouble I can't help myself but get into. At the end of the day, I'm too much for everyone. I'm too much for this world as a whole, so why was I dumb enough to think that I could find my place in it when it's far too late.
Malin Mardari has always been a creature of chaos. They've always refused the status quo, instead forging their own path, but now that they don't have anybody by their side, the road ahead of them looks barren and grim. They almost wish there wasn't a path at all.
"Tough luck, huh?" They turn around to see the Three girl talking her mouth off; they were wondering when she'd resume that.
Mal considers moving their lips to say something, but ultimately they don't, 'cause it's not like Three cares enough to read their lips and figure out what they mean. Mozi was the last person here who actually gave a fragment of a fuck about their pathetic existence, and even she was nothing more than a fraud.
Instead, they simply shrug in response to Three.
"I know what being betrayed is like, you know." She continues, gesturing to the side only to gasp, "Wait! Where the fuck is Verdigris?"
In all their melancholy and delirium and paranoia and dread, Mal also hadn't noticed that the Five girl's no longer with the two of them.
"What the fuck!" Three again screams, "Where the fuck did that little rat go?"
Malin can't be bothered to care about this point. Why should they ever care about anybody in a world that was ultimately built to destroy them?
Their first mistake in this life was even considering caring about anything at all.
"Can you please untie me so I can go look for them," Three begs.
Unfortunately for her, not caring about anything means that Mal doesn't care about her, the same way they don't care about how the Games continue from here on out.
Their life is proof that everything comes to an end, whether or not it's good or bad, so now all that they can do is wait for their last reckoning.
They're still sweating five minutes later.
Never in a million years did Verdigris think that they'd somehow get out of the mess in the hospital room. Like so many times in the past week or so, they were utterly convinced that they were reaching the final moments of their life, yet by some means of nature, they actually fucking got away. At times, Verdigris has thought that they're cheating death, the same way their father did, and that just leads them to wonder whether or not their worthy of such good luck.
(They can't lie and say they don't enjoy the fact that lady luck has picked the most convenient possible time to strike down on them. Their entire life has been a series of unfortunate events, so they hardly are bothered by this upwards trajectory, even if it's destined to soon come to an end. Everything does, after all.)
Verdigris rationalizes by saying that they deserved to escape, cause the ropes tied around him were hardly that tight, or at least looser than the ones around Hedy. That makes sense too. Any rational person would assume somebody as feisty as she is would be more likely to get away, then again, calling the Sixes rational seems like a joke based on everything they've witnessed in the past hour.
A part of them saw themself and Hedy in the two of them, or rather, Verdigris saw an alternate reality for what would've happened had they stuck around by her side longer. While treachery undoubtedly sucks, they're glad that they got away while they still had the chance. Of course, this ended with the Six boy victorious over the girl, but Verdigris doubts they'd be able to outmatch Hedy, especially if she continued to slowly break them the way she was clearly planning to.
Before they left, they grabbed the vial of poison that the Sixes had confiscated from around their neck upon abducting them. Or, at least Verdigris hopes it's their vile. They could've easily dumped it on Hedy's face to test it, but that would make her scream, and that could've lead to either of the Sixes attacking them instead of attacking one another.
It's not worth it. They'll surely run into her eventually, and probably not by their own free will. A part of them does hope that the Six boy is able to tear Hedy to shreds the same way he did to his District partner. Verdigris didn't see anything besides the slit in her neck, but it was enough to convince her that he has what it takes to eradicate Hedy Lovelace.
There's a worse part of them though, that hopes they don't take her out. That part of them is greedy and bitter too, because it's telling them that after everything she's put them through, they have the right to kill her.
Verdigris tries to get that negativity out of their head as they run out of the maze of a city that the Sixes brought them too… I can't kill somebody else, now can I? I know how I felt when I killed the girl from Eight, and I felt fucking horrible. I can't kill somebody again. I can't make the entire world watch as I kill somebody again.
I can't make my fam— they won't see their family again unless they kill again. That's a daunting reality they've chosen to ignore, mainly 'cause for a long time, Verdigris didn't think that they were worthy of winning the Games and the chance to be reunited with their family, but after seeing just how nasty people could be, they'd rather it be them than the boy from Six or stars-forbid Hedy that gets to go home.
Hopefully their father can forgive them for eventually resulting to violence, just so that they can see them again. Hopefully, he won't be reminded of their mother when they do eventually flip that switch in their brain and let themself do whatever it takes to survive.
They've already expressed a vehement desire to kill somebody before, after all. They're not even talking about the fights they got in back in school, or when Halcyon would get on their nerves. No, Verdigris has actually meant it too, every time they muttered under their breath just how badly they want to kill Mayuko.
Everything she's ever done has brought pain and suffering down on them and their father, and the fact she was able to quickly replace them both, only to play games with their mind just for the sake of phasing them out continues to repulse them. Even after seeing death close up, and seeing so much of it too, Verdigris maintains the fact that Mayuko Aoki is better off dead than alive, and if nobody else will do the deed, they're more than willing to bite the bullet and do it themself.
After all, if nobody's killed her up until now, chances are nobody will. Verdigris just may be the only living person with the raging desire to kill her, and the guts to do it. They know Viorel and Viridian both want her dead, but they're both far too tender-hearted to do it themselves. Verdigris thought that they were the same way, but the past week has taught them that they're more than willing to snap if it means they'll be able to prolong their survival and ultimately get what they want in the end. With their mother dead, Verdigris would finally have peace.
Perhaps, killing Hedy is similar. Even if she hasn't tormented them nearly to the degree that Mayuko tormented their father, she's still bore a nasty resemblance to the woman in question on more than one occasion, Hedy's nasty expression matching the look in her mother's eyes as she went on a tirade of schadenfreude. If Hedy lives and they don't, there's a damn good chance that she'll grow ups to be sickeningly similar to their mother. She already is beginning to show the signs, and perhaps that's why Verdigris initially didn't trust her. They never should've trusted her at all, for fuck's sake.
Even if they don't win, maybe killing Hedy will give them the same closure they'd get from killing their mother. Maybe if they killed Hedy, they wouldn't feel the need to kill anybody ever again, and while they hate the idea of their mother running free, there's only so much blood a person can get on their hands before they completely shatter. Killing Hedy is something that the world is probably expecting from them at this point. They've seen them be manipulated by her yet come out on top even if they keep getting more and more broken. The logical step here would be them killing her, and that's far more socially acceptance than them winning it all and killing their mother. Verdigris hasn't really had an insane desire to be liked by the general public, but they'd still prefer if they weren't locked up for murder. Killing Hedy will more than likely be the only time they're able to kill somebody who's done them wrong, and have the whole thing be celebrated by the entire nation.
It's an opportunity they'd be stupid to not take advantage of, yet there's still something holding them back. Mainly, it's the fear of becoming the very woman they'll likely never get the opportunity to legally kill. With every violent thought in their mind, Verdigris can't help but groan at the fact their mother's likely thought similar things. It's almost like her side of their genetics is controlling them, and what's worse is the fact that they're letting it.
The sad thing is, as horrible as she is, Mayuko Aoki has always been a fighter. There's been so many occasions where Verdigris was certain she'd either get arrested by Peacekeepers or beaten to a pulp by one of the clients she tried to take advantage of, yet the woman's still alive, and if anything, she's doing better than she ever was. The Capitol seems to love her, not at all minding all the cruelties they surely know she's committed. Even if she had her father's assistance at first, the fortune Verdigris' mother has acquired off of causing misery is for the most part, self-made.
Having Mayuko's resilience and her refusal to back down in their blood could be one of the few reasons that they're somehow still alive. Their father is resilient too, but it's in a different way. He's one for a silent protest, while Verdigris would hardly mind seeing their mother burn to the ground with a scream, or, at least they say that now.
Perhaps though, it's time for Verdigris Ahane-Voclain to accept the fact that there's nothing they can do that'll permanently sever their ties with their mother, so they might as well embrace all of the misery that they were destined to be the root of.
There's very little that's standing in between himself and the crown.
The day's second cannon brings a smile to Icarus' lips. Who could've been the cause of that? It wasn't me… unfortunately.
He snickers, his head rested on the Cornucopia's back. What a day it's been for me. What a fucking day, indeed.
Compared to how he felt earlier in the day, Icarus is now a thousand times more at ease. It's not that he even thought Lethia could possibly beat him, even if he did get close a few times during their fight, but rather… her existence was simply put, a plague to his own limitless greatness, and he's glad that he could be the cure all on his own.
A part of him is disappointed that Atlantis isn't here to celebrate with him. Well, not Atlantis in particular, just any other person who'd be willing to cheer him on over the fact he finally slayed the person who nearly turned his life into a nightmare.
He takes solace in the fact that his mother is positively in thrilled right now. Icarus imagines, a party in a fancy banquet hall, his name in lights as Aelia makes a toast to "Panem's Next Victor." The people cheer his name over and over like they're a sympathy, and it's all for him. Not him and Lethia, "District One's Prestigious Tributes," but instead, just Icarus Schuyler St. Augustine, the man who came out on top of his pathetic excuse for a District partner.
He'll never admit how lonely he feels. The entire Games, Icarus' main goal has been to take down Lethia and make his mother proud, but now that he's established the former, and in turn the latter, he feels slightly empty. Of course, he's always been the senseless sort. Any person with an actual beating heart would be as openly atrocious as he is, but up until now, he's had a clearly outlined set of objectives that he needs to achieve. The only thing he has left to do now is win the Games, but Icarus is afraid of how he'll feel once he's done that.
Throughout his life, his purpose has to been in control and be well known like a constellation in the sky, but even the brightest stars eventually fade, and if this moment here is his peak, the only way he can go now is down. He's used to being a jar of untapped potential. He's used to being limitless, but now it's just a matter of time before he either dies or fades from the spotlight that he's always had such a complicated relationship with. For the first time in a long time, he's a bit afraid.
He's getting too ahead of himself though. He hasn't won the Games, or at least, Icarus hasn't won them yet. There's still more for him to do, more of the world for him to burn in his path, it just so happens that he's already made it through the hard part.
(Life as a whole is difficult. There's no easy part in a life where you've never made yourself proud because you were so busy trying to please the people around you.)
"Icarus, my dear!" He hears his mother's voice from outside his bedroom door. "Can I come in, please?"
He shakes, alone under the covers of his bed. "Sure thing mother. Come inside!"
Aelia swings the door open, her face beaming with strained pride as always. She sits on the side of his bed and strokes his cheek with the side of her hand. "Are you excited for tomorrow, my sweet?"
He doesn't want to admit that actually, he's dreadfully nervous for his first ever day at Valhalla. Aelia Sullivan's son does not get nervous. He shouldn't have his stomach doing backflips that prevent him from sleeping, 'cause tomorrow's going to be fine. Icarus earned his spot at the Academy. All the people he convinced not to even apply would've never gotten in over him anyway, so there's no need for him to worry.
"Of course I'm excited," he replies, attempting to fake confidence but ultimately being betrayed by the wavering tone of his voice. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem a bit nervous," as usual, his mother proves that she knows him better than he knows himself.
Icarus sighs, then admits to her, "I just want to make you proud. I just want to make you and father proud."
Aelia flinches at the mention of his other parent. "I promise. You don't need to worry about making him proud."
"Why's that?" He hasn't seen the man in nearly three years, and his mother never really offered an explanation as to why he's gone. She just told Icarus that it would now be just the two of them, and failed to provide any additional information. At the time, he didn't have any questions, but now, as the first day of the rest of his life grows near, he wonders if he did something wrong and that's why he's never seen him.
"I'm sorry," his mother says. "Do you want to know the truth?"
Icarus' eyes widen. "What truth?"
"Where father is," Aelia explains. "I've been keeping it from you, but if you really do want to know—"
"I do! I do!" He cuts her off before she can even finish her sentence. "Please do tell me!"
"He was murdered," she confesses to him, a tear in her eye.
"Oh."
It takes Icarus a moment to digest that. He remembers seeing his dead body in the newspapers and telling himself, to repress it. He was a bit relieved at first that his harshest critic were gone, even if he didn't express it much around his mother, eating up the white lie she told him to preserve his innocence for as long as possible.
"You knew that, didn't you?" Aelia asks him.
Icarus nods. "I did. I just didn't want you to be worried over the fact that I knew. I tried convincing myself it wasn't real. Sometimes people have really strange dreams, so I convinced myself that was one of them. I'm sorry, mother."
"No need to apologize," she says, squeezing him twice. "Just, now you know. You don't have to worry about making him proud."
"I still do," he scoffs. "It's even more important that I make him proud now, because he's going to be in the stars watching down on me. He's going to watch everything I do at Valhalla. If he's not alive, that doesn't mean I don't have to impress him."
He remembers the words Ezra would throw at him far too well. He remembers being called a waste of space and fading into the background of his own family portrait, feeling so desperately unwanted aside from the moments where his mother would come to sweep him off his feet.
"Only worry about impressing me," Aelia's tone is a bit more firm this time. "You're already doing a great job at that, I promise you."
"Do you really?" Icarus hates that he doubts her, but she did tell him not to trust anyone, after all. "I haven't even done anything there yet. For all you know, I could be awful."
"You're not going to be awful," she assures him. "You're my son, so you could never be awful. I know you're going to do great things there, and I also know that you're going to do whatever it takes to get selected for the Games one day. Is that true?"
He nods, his eyes beaming. "Of course it's true, mother! I promise, I'll make you proud. I'll do whatever it takes, no matter what that is."
"That's my son!" She rubs him on the back and then steps off the bed. "Sleep well, sweet prince. Tomorrow is the start of your big adventure. Tomorrow is when you show the whole world just how great you are. Just as I've always known."
"Goodnight mother," Icarus says with smile. "I'm excited for tomorrow."
She walks out of the room without another word, but Icarus still finds it hard for him to sleep. If he can't make his father proud, he has to put everything into appeasing his mother. Somehow, that seems more difficult than making a dead person proud of him. Aelia does say she loves him dearly, but someday he won't be enough for her. Someday, he'll burn out like a star if he doesn't keep up this upwards trajectory he's been placed on, and he would hate for that to happen.
Right before he falls asleep, Icarus swears to himself. "Nothing I do is too much if it means making mother proud. I'm going to be chosen for the Games, even if it means all of Panem has to join father up in the stars."
Despite his mother expressing her pride for him time and time again, Icarus has had a hard time believing it, even now that he's grown.
However, with Lethia's mangled remains in his peripherals, he can almost be certain that she is.
Maybe that's enough.
(Is anything enough when you're soon to be king of the world?)
7th Place: Mozi Hongqi, District Six - killed by Malin Mardari
And then there were six…
We are, in fact reaching the end of our time here in the arena. There's just three chapters left and then an interlude until we arrive at our finale, so tensions are certainly running high. As always, thank you for reading and talking about the story and just being great fucking people. Truly, I haven't enjoyed anything the way I've enjoyed writing this story, so all the love means so much. I know I'm so fucking behind with eulogies, but trust me they will eventually happen.
Fuck this shit, I'm out,
Linds
The Leaderboard:
Lethia Aphelion: II
Icarus St. Augustine: III
Beowulf Haleot: I
Atlantis Seasbane: I
Calsin Verrillo: II
Verdigris Ahane-Volcain: I
Mozi Hongqi: II
Malin Mardari: II
Bud Bancroft: I
Vancouver Easton: III
The Arena: I