XLII. No Inhibitions

Thou'lt see me come unto thy darling tree,
And crown myself thereafter with those leaves
Of which the theme and thou shall make me worthy.

The Games aren't meant for those who can't expect the unexpected. That's a universal truth that Calsin's become far too acquainted with in the past few days. He's realized that, for better or for worse, sometimes there isn't going to be much notice, and things are going to just happen, yet that hasn't stopped him from still reacting dramatically to any sort of surprise.

Icarus arising from the balcony is no different. As Atlantis and the One boy engage in a verbal duel, Calsin begins to sweat. It's the two of us against only one of him, he reminds himself. Logistically speaking, we're more likely to win this.

Arithmetic aside, he can't help but be a smidge nervous. If Icarus was able to startle him without a word or a single action, surely he's got more tricks up his sleeve that'll potentially reveal themselves in combat. Whatever they are, Calsin hopes that he and Atlantis take him out before they he can show them off.

"I guess we're doing this then," Atlantis whispers into Calsin's ear. He turns to see her sword raised and a look of determination and grit painted on her face.

He nods, unfastening his spear from his belt and pointing it towards Icarus' spot on the balcony. "I guess the fuck we are!"

The One boy glares down at them, seemingly unfazed by their verbal scheming. "Get on with it then. I don't exactly have all day. Well, I do… but I'd honestly prefer if we got this over with sooner rather than later."

"Shut the fuck up!" Atlantis stammers, unable to help herself from loudly projecting towards him. "You deserve to die slowly and painfully after everything you've done with your life."

"Please, dear," Icarus taunts her. "It's not about what I deserve, it's about what's going to happen." He exhales, then lifts up his own sword, a long blade similar to Atlantis'. "Please don't make me walk down the stairs."

"Why not?" Calsin hisses. It's almost like there's something embedded in Icarus' voice and presence that makes him want to be as angry as possible. "Are you too lazy all of the sudden?"

Without giving it much thought, he throws his spear across the room and upwards, aiming towards Icarus and the balcony. However, due to the immense distance between the two of them, the weapon stops midair and drops to the ground.

"Shit," Calsin mutters under his breath, running to pick up the spear.

His eyes dart upwards to see a sinister smile on Icarus' face. "That's all you've got? Is it wrong of me to say that I expected at least a little bit better than that?"

"Don't engage with him," Atlantis shouts. "He's just going to make you angry and irritable."

"Too late," Calsin says, then again tries to throw his spear at Icarus. "He's already done that."

Again, the spear misses, and again, Calsin lets out a disgruntled scoff as he goes to retrieve it. "We have to go up there, don't we?"

Atlantis nods, rushing over to him. "That works for me."

She grabs onto Calsin's wrist and leads him towards the stairway. As they climb to the balcony, his breath hitches in his throat. He wasn't anticipating the stairs to be nearly as steep as they are, nor was he expecting the balcony to be so flimsy once he finally made it.

"Fuck," Atlantis says upon taking her first step. "I don't remember the balcony wobbling this much."

"Yesterday's explosion probably didn't do it many favors," Calsin reminds her. "It doesn't matter much now anyway, we have shit to get done."

"You sure do." Calsin turns his head to see Icarus just a few yards away from him, his eyes so wide they're nearly popping out of his head. "Or you could continue blabbering. I'm alright with either."

Again, Atlantis grunts. "Fuck you."

"No, go fuck yourself," Icarus drawls, beginning to walk towards them with sword held high. "You walk around promoting some sort of sanctimony, acting like you're a better person than me because you hate yourself. At least I have the fucking guts to admit that I'm no good. Perhaps we could've worked better together if you admitted the same."

"I don't want to work with you." Atlantis swings her sword from left to right, the metal clashing against Icarus's blade. "You're sick, and sure maybe I am too, but at least I have the dignity to admit there's something wrong with that."

"You of all people shouldn't be talking about dignity." Icarus shifts his weight forwards, trying but failing to knock Atlantis over.

Calsin spins his spear in between his fingers before lifting it in the air and trying to bring the bladed side down on Icarus shoulder, only for him to swiftly sway to the left. "Don't beat yourself up over missing that, Calsin. It's the closest you've ever come to getting close to me."

He doesn't respond, instead aiming towards Icarus' shins, cutting through the right leg of his pants and creating a small trickle of blood.

"Ouch," Icarus deadpans, then takes a break from clashing swords with Atlantis to aim at Calsin's stomach. As if it's natural to him, he arches his back to avoid the strike. "I admire you for protecting Atlantis, especially after everything she's said to me about you."

"You know I didn't mean it," Atlantis earnestly says to Calsin. She rotates her right wrist in a circle, attempting to knock Icarus back.

"I know." Calsin nods, then charges back into the battle with his spear at his left side, making contact with Icarus' abdomen as he runs past him. He turns around to see the One boy leaning to the side in pain, a large splotch of fresh blood now staining his shirt. "Fuck yeah!"

"Atlantis is just about the last person I'd trust," Icarus says, ignoring the fact that he's literally bleeding. "Maybe you really are just as stupid as she told me you were."

"Don't egg him on," Atlantis shouts at the One boy. She draws her sword back, then strikes at Icarus' shoulder, only for him to duck and dodge the attack. "If you're going to try and annihilate somebody here, make it me. Calsin's actually a good person."

Her words bring a smile to Calsin's lips. He knows that now isn't the time to get all sentimental, but he can't help himself. It bears repeating that he truly never thought they'd be so close to one another, both physically and emotionally. Still, he's wary of what seems to be a sacrifice on Atlantis' part. He can't let her do that. As much as he swore that he'd never be happy until she died, the idea now haunts Calsin to his very core.

"I don't trust your judgement." Icarus swings his blade counter-clockwise to make contact with the side of Atlantis's ribs. Despite her bleeding, she doesn't make a sound, instead channeling her frustration towards making a strike to Icarus' stomach, in the same spot where Calsin's spear hit him.

She twists the blade inside Icarus' wound, gritting her teeth as his blood splatters onto his shirt. When she finally pulls the sword out of him, the One boy sighs in relief. There's a momentary look of panic on his face, but he quickly masks it with his vicious yet stoic expression. "I applaud your effort. I'm sure you think that by killing me, you're doing something dumb like defeating your demons. This isn't a metaphor Atlantis, it's real life, and you're not worth shit to me, or anybody else. Stop trying to be your own savior. It's not fucking working."

Her face drops, and Calsin can tell that Icarus' words hit her deep. Even if she's doing her very best not to let it show, it's clear that she's soon to reach her breaking point. "Take a break, Atlantis. Remember what we talked about yesterday; it's going to be okay."

Calsin jabs his spear in Icarus' shoulder, blood spraying on both of their faces. He lunges forwards, deepening the wound, only to be propelled backwards by a strike to his stomach. Calsin hunches over in pain as Icarus taunts him, "I only planned on killing her, you know. It's a shame that you're such a sycophant, you've made me want to take you out as well."

"You're not going to get the chance," Calsin promises, sweat dripping down his forehead. "You're not going to take either of us out."

"Why not?" Icarus sneers, turning his focus back to Atlantis and thrusting his sword at her stomach. "Don't tell me that you plan to defeat me with the power of friendship."

Atlantis shifts her torso to the side, barely avoiding Icarus' attack. She jumps up in the air and brings her sword downwards onto his shoulder. His blood splatters in the air and his brow furrows. Even though it's clear that he's in pain, Icarus denies it. "You know, if you really wanted to kill me, it would probably do you a favor to hit me somewhere that's actually fatal."

"Thanks for the advice." Calsin nods. "You're going to regret giving it though."

No matter what he loses in the process, he's going to ensure that this is the last the world sees of Icarus St. Augustine, and that's a promise.

He's running out of time.

Icarus won't let it show on his face, but the wounds the Fours hurt more than he anticipated them to. His heart is throbbing and his palms are going sweatier by the minute, even if the twisted grin on his face says otherwise. The warmth of his own blood stings the skin on his face, but he acts like it's nothing.

As soon as Atlantis dislodges the blade from his shoulder, Icarus turns around and begins running towards the other side of the balcony.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He hears Calsin shout. "Get back hear, you fucking coward."

I'm not a coward, Icarus assures himself. I'm just practical.

As soon as he reaches the opposite wall, he digs into his pockets, pulling out a brown vial, clearly labeled Arsenic. Icarus got it back in the bloodbath, but never thought he'd have any use for such a slow-acting poison. After killing Lethia, he decided that he'd keep it in his pocket just in case he ran into an odd emergency, and now appears to be such a situation.

He pops the cap off the bottle and lets it fly over the balcony's railing and onto the ground. He pours the thick poison over the blade of his sword, then tosses the vial the same.

Again, he hears Calsin. "You really are a coward, aren't you?"

"That's bold, coming from you." Icarus turns his back and finally responds. He's not even sure what about the Four boy he's insulting anymore, but it's enough to give him time. That's all Icarus needs now, time.

As he runs towards Calsin and Atlantis, Icarus feels his stomach throb with pain. Both his legs are stained with blood, and he moves with a bit of a limp, but he refuses to let either of them think that what they did affected him.

He knows that his mother would be proud of him for this. He knows that Aelia wouldn't want him to admit to feeling pain. She'd want him to behave like a titan forged in iron even though she knows her son has always been fragile like gold.

Icarus looks Atlantis dead in the eyes, telling himself that the smile on her face isn't because she's glad to have nearly succeeded in killing him, because heavens know that Icarus St. Augustine won't let her. Now can't be his time to die, he refuses for it to be his time.

(And if it is, he's dragging Atlantis down with him.)

He lets out a wordless hiss as he stabs Atlantis in the stomach. His blade hardly tears through her skin, but it does so enough that some of the arsenic enters her veins. Even if she doesn't die during this fight, within the next day or so she'll be gone. Good riddance…

The Four girl recoils in pain, using one hand to stop her wound from bleeding and the other to give Icarus a middle finger. She lies, "That didn't hurt, idiot."

Even if it didn't hurt now, it sure is going to later, Icarus muses. Doesn't she know by now that I always get what I want?

He stabs her again, his blade ripping through her flesh and continuing ensure her future suffering. This is what Atlantis wants, after all. She said it herself during her time in the cellar, she deserves a long and painful death. Maybe someday she'll have the courage to thank him for delivering.

"I said come after me, not her," Calsin sneers, looking at his wounded ally with eyes of devastation. "Why don't you fucking listen?"

I do listen, just not to you. Icarus laughs, then wipes the blade of his sword on his pant leg, drops of blood dripping down to the floor. The Four boy doesn't need any poison to take him out. As soon as he realizes there's no way in hell Atlantis can be saved, he'll break all by himself.

That doesn't mean Icarus can't mess with him a bit.

He swings his sword at Calsin's chest, tearing through the top of his bloodied shirt and scraping off a rind of his skin. The boy gasps, then tries to blot the wound with his shirt. "You're a freak!"

"Have you not realized by now that whatever insult you throw in my direction doesn't mean a thing?" Icarus retaliates. "I know I'm horrible, and I fucking love that I'm horrible."

"That's not something to be proud of," his heart speeds up even faster as Calsin drives his spear into his stomach yet again. "Why are you proud of the fact you're literal scum?"

(Because that's how he was raised. Aelia told him time and time again that there was no such thing as a line that shouldn't be crossed. She told him that horrible people ultimately get the most ahead in life, and even now, he doesn't think she's wrong. Even if he dies here, he's done his job in turning the arena from heaven to hell.)

"What's it matter to you?" Icarus slices down Calsin's left leg, tearing through his pants and then the top layer of his flesh. "Why do I matter to you at all?"

"Because you hurt her," the Four boy responds, gesturing behind him at Atlantis, who's hunched over herself and sitting on the ground. "Nobody gets away with hurting her."

"She wants to hurt herself," he says. "She said it to me, and I'm willing to bet everything I have that she said it to you too."

"That's not for you to ridicule her about." Calsin uses his spear to puncture another hole in Icarus's stomach, his blood seeping out of the wounds and onto the floor. "Maybe if you had even an ounce of empathy, you'd fucking understand that."

(Empathy is for the weak. Getting close with others is for the miserable and pathetic. Icarus St. Augustine is neither of those things. He's his own divine figure, and he doesn't dare to put himself on the same level as mere mortals.)

"I don't want to understand," Icarus admits. He steps closer to the boy and pushes him back onto the ground, then hunches over and grabs onto his own stomach. Fuck…

He feels himself unwillingly giving up strength, even though every muscle in his body is trying its best to keep him alive. Icarus tries blocking his wounds with his hands, yet is left without much luck. His heart is racing, his face is reddening, and deep down in his core he knows, this really is the end.

But not on Atlantis and Calsin's terms it is.

He drops his sword to the ground and squeezes his palms together. Up we go; up we go…

His wings spread out behind him and a smile forms on his face. He begins to hover, a furious expression on both Calsin and Atlantis' faces.

"That's against the rules," the Four boy stammers, as if there's ever been such thing as rules in here.

Icarus laughs. "Have you not realized by now, that I'm the only one who makes the rules."

"Bullshit," Calsin replies. He grabs ahold of Icarus' sword and tries to jab it at his foot, but he flies to the side, over the railing and into the main area of the cathedral.

As he soars higher up into the air, Atlantis screams. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"None of your business," Icarus hisses back. "Thank you for entertaining me for the day though."

He grabs a small knife from his pocket and cuts into his scalp, allowing the blood to completely cover his face. "Would you like to say goodbye to your favorite bloodied angel?"

"You're not my favorite anything," the Four girl responds. "I fucking hate you."

"No, you don't," Icarus says, continuing his journey upwards. "You just hate yourself."

Atlantis collapses backwards into Calsin's arms with a sour expression on her face, but Icarus refuses to pay it any attention. Instead, he looks upwards, the sun sitting right above the cathedral's roof, it's light reflecting his shadow onto the ground. He gets high enough that whatever Calsin and Atlantis are saying sounds like nothing in his ears, and all the bodies left lying on the ground seem to be cheering him on.

He flies above the cathedral, the light of the sun beaming down onto his face. His heart is racing and he can feel himself fading more than ever before, but the smile on Icarus' face is real regardless.

His hair singes off the top of his head as he gets closer to the sun's core, the skin on his forehead melting off his bones. And yet, Icarus is the happiest he's been in his entire life.

The simmering heat of the sun embraces him in his arms, yet Icarus doesn't feel a thing. His flesh may be bubbling and his bones might be burning to nothing but dust and ashes, but the moment he started flying, Icarus St. Augustine decided he'd already won.

It's blinding.

The sun which shone steady and bright over the arena for over a week's gentle yellow rays have warmed up to a burning white. Atlantis covers her eyes with her hand, yet the light peaks through the cracks in her fingers, eventually forcing herself to shut her eyelids all together.

She leans back in Calsin's arm, listening to the cacophonous crackles in the sky as they slowly fade away. Even though Atlantis can't see what's happened to lead to this, in her heart, she knows. She knows that Icarus willingly cast himself into the sky, forcing the sun to splinter as it burnt him to a crisp, and lord is she pissed about it.

"We were supposed to fucking kill him," Atlantis whispers, her eyes still shut. "What the actual fuck…"

She hears her ally sigh. "I know we were, and I'm just as angry as you are."

"What the actual fuck," she repeats. "I just can't believe that he—"

"At least he's dead," Calsin reminds her, as if that's supposed to make her feel any better about it. "In the end, we got what we wanted."

Atlantis chuckles. "I always thought that if somebody was going to kill themselves in here, it would be me."

"Please don't joke about that," he says, his tone hurried and quick. "I know you're upset—"

"I'm beyond upset, what the fuck!" She hisses, still in disbelief over everything that's happened. "Why does he think that he just gets to do that?"

"We'll never know." Calsin gently rubs her shoulders. "By the way, you might want to open your eyes…."

When she does, she's so shocked she nearly screams.

The past eight days in this arena have been nothing but blinding light, save for her stint in Icarus' little prison. Opening her eyes and seeing the night sky accompanied by stars feels like a fever dream. In the spot where the sun once was, the stars have been arranged in the shape of a boy holding a sword, nearly making Atlantis puke on the ground.

"It's odd, isn't it?" Calsin asks her.

She sighs. "Yet somehow, it's also sort of beautiful. Maybe I'm just laughing over the fact Icarus is a mere constellation while we're still here though. Or maybe, it reminds me of Four."

"I thought you hated Four," Calsin teases her, extending one of his hands past her eyes and pointing at the stars. "You've said it to me like, a million times by now."

"I don't hate the stars," Atlantis corrects him. "It just so happens that Four's the only place where I've seen them shine this bright. Back in the Capitol, all the neon signs and shit made it hard to see them."

As bright as the stars were in Four, the main thing Atlantis remembers from the nights she spent under them was Alithiya's smile. She'd always been fascinated by them, pointing out all the constellations that she made up in her head while Atlantis giggled softly. On some nights, Talquin and Daria would join then, and they'd all lay on the beach, not caring about the sand in their hair and instead admiring the world up above them. In those moments, Atlantis truly did feel limitless, and a part of her does now, even if the past two weeks have essentially taught her that she's so incredibly limited.

"Adrian and I looked at the stars too," Calsin sympathizes. "We used to say that the constellations looked like our cats."

"Oh," she says with a giggle. "Alithiya and I usually agreed that they looked like shot glasses and lemons."

"That's also fair." Calsin laughs. "I once said that some of the stars looked like a massive bong, but Adrian scorned me for that, so I stopped with the extremely blatant degeneracy. Sometimes being wholesome can be fun."

"Oh, I'm aware." Atlantis smiles. "This past day and a half with you has been nothing short of a blessing, save for the Icarus killing himself part. At least we survived though…"

She tries to get up, but as soon as she does, Atlantis feels a searing pain in her stomach. "Shit."

"Are you okay?" Calsin asks, genuine concern in his eyes. They look down at the same time, noticing that her stomach wound is still bleeding onto the ground. "Yeah, we've got to fix that."

He stands up first and grabs onto her arm, pulling her off the ground and hunching over so that she can hop onto his back. Even though she can tell that she's a bit too heavy for him, Calsin carries her off the balcony and down the stairs, gently placing her on the floor once they reach the bottom.

"Alright, you stay right there," he says, a concerned look on his face. "Do you know where Icarus kept y'all's supplies? I want to see if he has anything that can help."

"By the cell probably, " Atlantis answers, watching Calsin speed across the cathedral before she can even finish speaking.

Her blood's pooled onto the ground, even though she's using her hands to cover the wound. While the stars are beautiful, she does have to admit that they make it a bit harder for her to see everything. Even though she has no idea where the other two living Tributes are, Atlantis feels vulnerable, alone by the stairs. That's a feeling she doesn't like, especially 'cause she's put up so many barriers, done so much to protect herself from this sickening feeling of isolation, that's only made worse now that she's relying on somebody that isn't herself. Atlantis Seasbane has always prided herself in being uncontrollably in control, yet now her fate lies in Calsin's hands, and while she undoubtedly trusts him, she hates being so weak.

Just as quickly as he left though, Calsin hurries back to her with a first aid kit. "I sort of just took everything," he says as he drops it onto the ground.

She looks down and realizes that the bleeding's only gotten worse, prompting her to lift her hands off the wound. Calsin opens the box and grabs a long black tourniquet. He straps it around Atlantis' stomach and sighs. "This should stop the bleeding at least."

"Good, good," she responds with a nod. "I'm sorry I made you run off and look for that when I should've been able to do it myself."

"No need to apologize," Calsin stammers, continuing to dig through the kit and pulling out a wide assortment of creams and bandages. "I know that you'd do the same for me, so this is honestly the least I could do."

"You're a saint," she says. "I don't know how I'll ever repay me for all that you've given me these past two days."

"There's no need to," he replies.

Calsin looks down at Atlantis' stomach and notices that the bleeding has for the most part stopped. He unstraps the tourniquet and inspects her wound. While her flesh is still raw and stained by crimson, it isn't bleeding nearly as intensely as it previously was. He picks up a spray bottle and warns her, "This is going to sting a bit, okay?"

Atlantis nods, prompting Calsin to spray her stomach with what she assumes is an anti-sceptic solution. Just as he said, the chemical slightly burns her, prompting her to wince and then sigh.

"Don't worry, we're done with that." He sets down the bottle then grabs a large bandage. He peels off the backing then presses it against Atlantis' skin, flashing her a thumbs up once he's done. "See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?"

"It hurt," Atlantis admits. "Not more than it did getting stabbed, but it still hurt a significant amount."

"I'm sorry about that," Calsin soothes her. "But at least it's done now. Do you want to try walking. We can stay here for a while, I don't mind. Eventually we'll need to find the other two people still out there, but resting is allowed."

She nods, then tries to pull herself off of the ground. She's still in pain as she takes her first step, and she can't help but feel like how Calsin described Endellion, like a liability. There's literally nothing that's preventing Calsin from killing her at this very moment, the same way he always knew he was capable of killing his ally, and that frightens her.

Maybe he should, anyway. It's not like she's now going to be much use against the last two Tributes now. If he's really going to be as torn up about her death as he claims, it's best that he gets it over with now.

Atlantis turns around, about to tell Calsin what she's suddenly decided, when she feels something in her stomach drop. She's not bleeding anymore, but she suddenly feels like she's about to throw up. Sweat drips down her forehead rapidly, and her face feels swollen almost.

She hears him scream "Atlantis!" and watches him run towards her, but after that, all she sees is pure darkness.

5th Place: Icarus Schuyler St. Augustine, District One - killed by himself

Look, I know y'all are probably really happy right now that Icarus is dead, but I am very sad so please respectfully shut the fuck up. Technically this was another instance in Laney's kids killing one another, so thank you Liana, very cool. We can all agree though, this was such an on brand way for Mr. Icarus to die. He is so annoying, but I love him dearly

I miss that bastard already, what the actual fuck. I almost had him place 9th and I can safely say now that I am overjoyed I didn't do that, because I would've missed him even more than I already do.

That leaves us with four Tributes left, one of which just passed the fuck out. There's one more chapter before our pre-finale interlude, and I'll try to have said chapter out this weekend. We're really at the bitter end now, so thanks to everyone who's still on this ride.

Fuck this shit, I'm out,
Linds

The Leaderboard:
Lethia Aphelion: II
Icarus St. Augustine: IV
Beowulf Haleot: I
Hedy Lovelace: I
Atlantis Seasbane: I
Calsin Verrillo: II
Verdigris Ahane-Volcain: I
Mozi Hongqi: II
Malin Mardari: II
Bud Bancroft: I
Vancouver Easton: III
The Arena: I