XLV. Heaven Is Empty
Then it was clear to me how everywhere
In heaven is Paradise, although the grace
Of good supreme there rain not in one measure.
Three of them stand idly by in a cavern of ice, hoping that they won't have to make the first move.
None of them are prepared for this, their bodies beaten and bruised and their clothing stained with blood. They all want to be strong. They all wish they could stand tall with their shoulders arched, but instead, they hunch over, seemingly already consumed by death itself. If anything has remained a constant over the past nine days, it's that nobody knows what'll soon happen to them, no matter how many scenarios they've dreamt up in their head.
Not an inch of the caves can be considered pure, blood and water frozen solid on the ground and the putrid smell of rotting flesh lingering in the air.
How ironic is it that they've chosen the very definition of hell frozen over to be the stage for their final affair?
Smoke rises in the distance, a warning that the end is nearer than ever before. At least… for two of them, it is. For one, it's only the beginning.
(The beginning of being watched like a hawk in the night. The beginning of holding friends and family close, hoping and praying that they won't be torn away. The beginning of nightmares and the beginning of dread. For one, it's the beginning of wondering if they would be better off dead.)
Angels circle in the sky before touching down upon the clouds with a clear mission. As mangled bodies slowly rise out of the arena, the only question left is who'll be the other two to join them?
Will it be Hedy Lovelace of District Three, the haunted heir who lies at the southern entrance of the cave trying to forget how badly she's aching? It's undeniable that she came into these Games already corrupted, but the past few days have proven that she's now but a ghost of the demons that haunted her past. Though she may not be the most popular amongst the public, her loyal fans swear that she's not done yet. They have a point, as she's survived many things that should've killed her. However, even the mightiest of titans are eventually due to fall. Whether or not this is her time is soon to determined. Covered in blood, sweat, burns, and tears, Hedy pushes herself off the ground. Her brows are furrowed, her expression laced with anger and vitriol as she begins stumbling into the cave. She has unfinished business she longs to attend to, but she may not get the choice.
(For the first time in nearly four years, Hedy Lovelace can say that she is, without a doubt, terrified. She knows that she's running on borrowed time, she has been her whole life, but perhaps she's finally run out. More than anything, Hedy doesn't want to die. Death is only granted to those unworthy, and she doesn't consider herself so. Death is a punishment for those as vile as her father, and even though she lost her morals long ago, she's not as bad as him. Hedy refuses to be as bad as him.)
Will it be Calsin Verrillo of District Four, the raving reject who sits on the cavern's roof, reading the letter he's just been given from the sky as if it's some sort of holy scripture. Never in a million years did he see himself volunteering for these Games, yet fate played their cards unfairly, and therefore he's been forced to offer himself up for the slaughter. Despite his rough beginning, he's quickly become a crowd favorite. More than anybody, he's loved, and he's lost within these walls, but now it seems as though he's had enough. When he killed his District partner out of mercy, it's clear that a bit of him died just the same. He swears that he'll be the entropy who lives for her memory, but the arena has never been the place for such promises. Wiping a tear from his eye, Calsin folds the letter and places it in his pocket. He sighs then makes his way towards the edge of the roof. He may be the most experienced one here, but he's sadly beginning to fade.
(Every hour since Atlantis' death has left Calsin more confused than ever before. His entire life, he's let people go when he should've begged them to stay, and he refuses to do the same once more. Still, though, a part of him wonders whether or not fighting now is worth it. If he goes back to Four, he'll be sent straight to his grave. Maybe though, that'll be enough to prove to them that the Collective is corrupt. Maybe in death, Calsin will be able to end the injustice that ruled over his life. Crista's letter to him seems oddly optimistic, and while he doesn't want to let her down, he reckons she shouldn't get their hopes up.)
Or, will it be Verdigris Ahane-Voclain of District Five, the sardonic sentinel who paces back and forth inside the cave, flicking at their lighter and being disappointed when it fails to produce a flame? Not a single soul predicted that they'd be one of the last three people standing, and they seem to have doubted themself the same. In a way, though, their prolonged survival makes sense. More than any of the Tributes here, they're incredibly rational. Through being level-headed and pragmatic, they've managed to get this far, but at a certain point, good instincts are not enough to guarantee victory. While they can throw a punch, their fighting style is messy enough that anybody well-trained could easily knock them down. Now that they're completely weaponless, whether or not they have the strength to persevere is dubious. Verdigris drops the lighter and sighs. Every last bit of them shakes as they walk through the caves, no clue where they're going. They seem to also know that their chances are slim, but like everyone so many people, those are emotions they'll just have to hide.
(Verdigris is shocked that they were able to create a trail of destruction dangerous enough to keep Hedy significantly off their back. With their lighter dead, though, they can't destroy anything else, meaning they have to face both her and the Four boy head-on. They wonder whether or not they're capable of doing such a thing, but they know that they have to. Verdigris longs to return to their father and Viridian. They crave to see the smile on Halcyon's face, even if it's just for a second. Without a doubt, their life was cut short when their name was pulled from the Reaping bowl, but based on their actions here, they're no longer sure that they deserve to live.)
While there's many reasons for each of them to die, the same thing can be said for them living. All of them were unfairly taken from lives of satisfaction, yet only one will get the chance to return to it. Nervous energy has bubbled over the entire nation as they place their final bets on who will be their champion.
Whatever transpires, these Games have been one to remember, and whoever wins will certainly never forget.
As he climbs down the cavern's edge, Calsin can't stop his mind from racing.
What the hell did she mean? He wonders, even though Crista's letter to him has already been stowed away. She promised me that I'd be safe, yet that's just about the last thing I feel.
Maybe his mentor's grown delusional in the past week. Calsin knows that she's had a rough go at life, so perhaps that was already her destiny. It seems odd, though. All of Crista's previous notes have been ones of unwavering support, but this seems more like her making a promise to him, one that he doesn't even understand.
Crista is just one of many people that Calsin wants to make proud. Beyond her, he wants to make Adrian beam with joy, pointing at him with stars in his eyes and love in his heart. He wants to make Sevilin proud, wherever he may be. Calsin wants the name Verrillo to no longer be one that his brother carries like a burden, but instead one that he associates with Panem's 52nd Victor. Most of all, though, he needs to make Atlantis proud. In her dying moments, Calsin promised that he'd be the change this world needs to see, and he would hate himself if he ever let her down.
The good thing is, Calsin Verrillo is so incredibly close to making everyone he's afraid of failing proud of him. The girls who remain are smaller than him, and chances are they're weaker too. He'll make it through. There's not a doubt in his mind.
His hands slip as he carefully maneuvers downwards, the combination of sweat and ice unable to offer him a sturdy grip. Heart practically beating out of his chest, Calsin continues to lower himself, hoping and praying that he won't fall to his demise. He's come too far to die so pathetically.
Robotic angels soar above him, the ones which carried dead bodies now so high in the sky that he can't make out their faces. One of the angels, one that isn't carrying anybody, seems to taunt him. He wants to taunt it right back, livid that something could possibly think he's about to die, but he knows he has much more important things to do.
The only thing that'll lift him from this arena is a vessel celebrating his victory, and when it does, all Calsin will feel is bliss.
Hedy scowls as the boy from Four makes her way down the cavern's edge. Like so many people who she's met in here, he seems cautiously prideful.
Though every last bit of her aches, Hedy knows that he'll soon be in her range of motion, and she'll be given no choice but to strike. Perhaps his confidence will bring about his downfall.
It's just as likely that she isn't strong enough to take him out, and her words can't be used as weapons when she doesn't know a thing about him. Regardless, Hedy feigns optimism as he gets closer to her. It's the best she can do.
The skin on her hands burns, but Hedy firmly grips her knife as if it doesn't. The friction from the handle against her wounds only makes her hurt even more, but Hedy knows that she is worthless without a weapon. This knife is perhaps the only thing she has going for her since words are not enough.
As Four reaches the ground, he unloops his sword from his belt and charges towards her. Hedy quickly ducks her head, causing him to grunt in frustration. She takes his discern as an opportunity, plunging her blade into his right ankle.
"Oh, so you're actually trying," Four says, mocking her.
Clearly, he doesn't know what he's up against. Though speaking has become difficult, Hedy taunts him right back. "Well, one of us has to, and you clearly aren't."
"Fuck off!" He sneers, slicing through Hedy's wrist, her skin curling off her bone like a rind from a lemon. Though she bleeds, she doesn't feel an increase in pain. It seems as though she's already hurt enough, and now nothing else can phase her.
She drags her knife upwards from his ankle to the rest of his leg, rivulets of his blood pouring into the blade. In all of her pain, she's unable to tell which of his nerves are where, but she hopes that she was able to cut through something important.
Four loudly winces, signaling Hedy that she's done a significant amount of damage and can now withdraw her weapon from his flesh. She juts her elbows backward, attempting to knock him over as she rises from the ground.
I think I can do this, she reassures herself.
Maybe her luck isn't out just yet.
The Three girl wordlessly scoffs at him as she stands. Calsin's leg aches in pain from her attack, and though standing is difficult, he does his best to keep steady.
He juts his sword at Three's side, the blade tearing a hole through her shirt. When he pulls back the sword, it's covered in blood, telling him that he was at least able to make some sort of contact with her skin. The girl herself almost looks like a demon. She's practically covered in blood, and Calsin can't help but wonder what happened to put her in this state.
I can wonder later, he reminds himself. For now, he has a job to do.
She sprints towards the bridge, her pace jagged as she moves from side to side. As he follows her, Calsin calls out "What are you doing?"
He doesn't get an answer. Instead, Three runs until they're both on the bridge, where she suddenly stops. Calsin tries to stab her again, but she ducks and maneuvers herself into a crawling position. Before he can strike again, she begins to move on all fours in the opposite direction.
"What's wrong with you?" He says with a laugh before following her. In a way, it's nice to see somebody who is, without a doubt, crazier than he is. It makes him feel less bad about the fact he has to kill her.
Once she's back in front of the caverns, Three again rises to her feet and begins to run. This time, she paces in large circles. Calsin holds his sword out, hoping he'll trip her, but Three's too intelligent to die so stupidly. Instead, she turns in the opposite direction, running with all of her might until her hands lock around Calsin's waist.
He shakes, trying to get her off, but Three's grip is firm, her fingernails tearing through his shirt. His heart races as she pushes him forwards, still trying to free himself from her.
Calsin doesn't realize what's happening to him until it's too late.
His stomach drops as Three holds him at the edge of the clouds. He shrieks, viciously twisting his torso back and forth, but once he tears himself free from her, his feet slip, and he begins to fall.
As he waves his hands and feet in the air, trying to swim through the sky as if that's even possible, the dread of the situation sinks in.
He tries to scream, but nobody sees him. Instead, he watches as the Three girl gets further and further from him, laughing maniacally as he plummets.
Calsin feels like the world is crushing him. He feels like a failure and like nothing he went through was even worth it. All his optimism when he was around Atlantis seems to leave his body as he utters one last curse at the night sky, "Fuck you, Shane!"
He feels a sharp pain in his ribs, and then Calsin Verrillo doesn't feel anything at all.
The sound of the cannon startles them, and again Verdigris is left wondering whose it was. Again, they hope it isn't Hedy so that they can kill her themself. This time though, they don't waste their time being trapped in their thoughts. Instead, Verdigris pivots towards the cavern's southern entrance and begins to run.
No matter who is waiting for them outside and what happens once Verdigris gets there, they're grateful that the Games will soon be over. Even if they're dead, at least they'll be free from the profound misery they've experienced in here.
(That doesn't change how badly they want to win. They never thought that they'd have a chance at victory, but now that it's so close to them, it's all that they crave. So many of their years have been spent considering death as a viable alternative to everything shitty they've experienced, but now all Verdigris wants to do is live.)
They keep their head down as they run, even though they know there's no chance of running into the Eight girl's remains since they watched as robotic angels flew into the cage, taking both her and Ten's bodies and then leaving. Still, seeing her blood isn't something Verdigris wants to see.
As they see the other side of the cavern getting closer and closer, they begin to strategize. There's not much that they can do without a weapon, but they hope that their strength will be enough to take somebody out. Hopefully, whoever is out there is exhausted from the previous fight and won't be able to take Verdigris down, but they can't base their chances on things that aren't certainties.
Somehow, they're not surprised to see Hedy waiting for them at the other end of the cave. What they are shocked about is just how… disheveled they look. Verdigris thought that seeing Hedy in her bloodied form back in the barn house was the scariest condition she could ever be in, yet this is even more haunting. While the fact she's drenched in blood remains true, patches of her skin are exposed from what they can only assume are tears. Verdigris didn't even think that Hedy was capable of crying. She's bleeding from several spots, and her legs are covered in burns. She no longer looks like the unbeatable devil she was less than an hour ago. Instead, she's human.
(Verdigris knows that deep down, Hedy's always been human. She wasn't always as unhinged as she currently is. The issue is just that Eight's death traumatized both of them, it forced Verdigris to think about what they could do to get better, but for Hedy, it just made her worse. Neither of them are the same person they were when they first stepped into this arena, but Verdigris likes to think that they're still the better person.)
If they left her here to bleed, Hedy would probably die without Verdigris laying a single finger on her, but they've gotten so close to killing her time and time again, it's only fair that they're the one to do it. The only issue is that they're not used to her looking so pathetic, which almost makes killing them harder, but they refuse to be a coward and let her wait around to die.
Hedy cranes her neck to make eye contact with them. Verdigris can tell that she's about to say something, so they deny her the opportunity by thinking of something to say first. "What the fuck happened to you?"
"You. You're the one who did this to me. Are you happy now?"
They can't say that they are.
It's sort of ironic that it's now come down to just the two of them.
Initially, Hedy's plan was for the two of them to get relatively far, but that was under the assumption that they'd remain allies the entire time, and she wouldn't get as injured as she currently is. She knows that she's close to the end, as much as she doesn't want to be.
That doesn't mean that Hedy isn't going to try to kill Verdigris with every fiber of her existence. Trying is all she can do at this point, and at least she has the advantage of having a life while the Five Tribute has nothing.
(Nothing. That's what Verdigris Ahane-Voclain is to her. Despite all their similarities, Hedy has no choice to hate them. Deep inside, she knows that everything Verdigris has done has been out of a need to survive instead of spite like her, and maybe that's part of the reason she hates them so much. She's so jealous of the way they've managed to cope. She's so jealous of the love they clearly have back in Five when she has nothing. Maybe in a different world, Hedy would turn to Verdigris to help them escape all the devils running through her head, but this is not that world. Here, Hedy Lovelace has completely given in to the monster she was genetically predisposed to become. Here, she's decided that if she won't get a happy ending, nobody will.)
Even if she can't kill Verdigris, she'll make them wish they were dead.
"You haven't answered me," Hedy scoffs, still hunched over on the ground in pain. "Are you happy that you maimed me with your flames? Are you happy that my body nearly burned and it was all your fault? This was always your goal, wasn't it."
"It wasn't," Verdigris stammers, less confident than they seemed a minute ago. "I didn't want to hurt you badly. I just wanted to—"
"Survive?" She taunts them. "You really think that you're worthy of survival after you shot a thirteen-year-old girl?"
They cross their arms. "I'm more worthy than you'll ever be."
Hedy winces in pain, another awful reminder that her life is quickly fading. Her brain scrambles, desperate to think of something that she can say, desperate to end them before she ends.
"You're nothing," she taunts them. "The only reason you're here is because you were too much of a coward to do something meaningful. All you've done is hide, Verdigris. Truthfully, do you think that that makes you worthy of winning? You're nothing, okay?"
"At least I'm not a bitch," Verdigris grunts, but they don't sound too convincing. "At least I didn't literally explode somebody for the sake of it."
"Better than sitting around and feeling sorry for myself," Hedy counters, then proceeds to mock them. "Boo-hoo! I killed somebody! It isn't like this is the Hunger Games. Tributes die when they are killed. Get over yourself. You're nothing."
Their brows furrow. "Just stop fucking talking, why don't you?"
Verdigris suddenly pounces on top of them, their fingernails digging into the skin on her chest. Hedy tries to push them away, but she doesn't have the strength to do so, so she cries out in pain, "You're hurting me!"
"Don't care," Verdigris scoffs.
"You're nothing," Hedy repeatedly hisses as the Five Tribute continues to make her bleed. With every claw, she's shocked at the fact she's not yet dead. With every claw, Hedy is given a chance to torment them yet again.
Hedy's injuries are no longer a mere roadblock. She's dying, and it's slow and painful. Through she scratches at Verdigris', they don't react.
All Hedy has are her words. She'll ensure that they're Verdigris' downfall.
"You're nothing."
Each time Verdigris digs their fingernails through Hedy's chest, she repeats those two words with more and more intensity. At first, Verdigris didn't believe her, but she's slowly wedged herself under their skin.
"You're nothing, Verdigris!" Hedy screams loudly enough that their eyes start to water.
They look down at their hands, dirtied by Hedy's blood, and it's enough to make them pull away. That's it. I can't do this…
In a few hours, Hedy's going to bleed to death, and after nine days, a few hours isn't that long for Verdigris to wait. Seeing Eight die was easy in comparison to watching as Hedy writhe in agony, yelling at the top of her lungs as Verdigris tries opening more wounds so she'll die quicker.
As horrible as Hedy is, Verdigris wonders whether or not she really does deserve to die. She's troubled, but that doesn't mean that she can't change. The only issue is that Hedy living would mean they're dying, and maybe it's greedy, but Verdigris does not want to die even now.
"Why can't you finish me off?" Hedy shrieks. "I knew that you were too much of a coward. How fucking unfair is it that I'm going to bleed to death, and you're going to win the Hunger Games by standing there and doing nothing. If I were watching this, I'd fucking hate you for ending the Games I made interesting by doing nothing."
"Stop," Verdigris whispers, too emotionally weak to say anything else. They don't want to begin a waiting game where Hedy dies in the end, but they don't want to aggressively end somebody either. Watching her suffer also feels cruel. Whatever Verdigris does, unless they die, they'll just be acting cruel.
(Deep inside, they think that Hedy deserves to suffer. Deep inside, they want it to hurt as much as possible.)
(They haven't felt this way since they were eleven, and Rendon came over to them in the school hallway with threatening words:
"You're nothing," he had told them with a mischievous glint in his eye. "You're nothing, and your father is even less. Are you excited to be just like him someday?"
Each of his words made Verdigris grow angrier and angrier.
"You're nothing."
"You're nothing."
"You're nothing!"
And then he'd say the same thing about their father:
"He's nothing."
"Your whole family is nothing!"
"Nobody gives a fuck about you or your father, so why do you keep on existing?"
Eventually, they had enough so they hit him in the face.
It didn't stop there, though. They beat Rendon again and again until his teeth were knocked out of his head, his nose was broken, and his entire face was beaten and bruised. Verdigris was only eleven, but they still beat them as if they were grown. They liked hurting him, too, because they knew how badly he deserved it.
They liked hurting him until they remembered how proud of them their mother would do if she knew what they'd done.)
They feel similar now.
Verdigris knows that Mayuko is watching them with bated breath, excited to see their child channel her in her unholiest form. They're disgusted by just the thought of her.
When they came in here, they swore that they would act like their father, not their mother.
(They're not the same as when they came in here.)
Verdigris can't say that they're like Viorel anymore. Their father would never kill a child or beat somebody senseless on multiple occasions. Their father may be compassionate like they are, but they'd never do this.
Verdigris also can't say that they're entirely like Mayuko. Their mother wouldn't have hesitated before causing people pain. They may have blood on their hands like she does, but they still have a little bit of their heart.
Without their parents' identities to latch onto, Verdigris is left confused. Verdigris is their own person without them, and they don't even know who that person is.
"You're nothing," Hedy spits out for the umpteenth time.
Verdigris sighs, digging in between their two shirts until they find the vial of liquid Hedy gave them, and they then took from the underground city. They're not sure what's inside it, but whatever it is, it'll help them decide.
If the vial does truly have poison, Hedy will die instantly, and Verdigris will be the sole one to blame. While they won't be a coward, they'll still have directly killed somebody.
Hedy will die within hours if there isn't poison, and Verdigris will stand and watch. Surely, some of Hedy's wounds are from the fight with Four, so she won't be the only guilty one here, and they won't be able to say that they're ruthless.
If it's poisonous, they're Mayuko. If it isn't, they're Viorel. Either way, they're more themselves than their parents.
As they untwist the cap, Hedy screams. "What's that? What the fuck are you doing?"
Verdigris doesn't have it in them to say a word.
"You're nothing!" She continues to berate them as they pour the liquid from the vial over her face.
They close their eyes and wait.
1…
2…
3…
Hedy lets out a blood-curdling scream, goosebumps forming on Verdigris' arms. Again and again, she screams and she screams, "You're nothing, you're nothing, you're nothing!"
Verdigris opens their eyes to see Hedy's skin disintegrating from her chest. A robot angel flies above her, patiently waiting for… boom!
And just like that, it's over.
Caesar Flickerman's voice declares it to the nation. Verdigris Ahane-Voclain is something.
3rd Place: Calsin Verrillo, District Four - killed by Hedy Lovelace
2nd Place: Hedy Lovelace, District Three - killed by Verdigris Ahane-Voclain
And just like that, it's over.
Before I say anything else, congratulations to Verdigris Ahane-Voclain for surviving Liana's Paradiso and becoming the victor of the 52nd Annual Hunger Games. Haiden, you submitted me an absolute babe of a Tribute, and it is my pleasure to not only give you your first victor, but also to write for the first non-binary victor I've seen in a SYOT. I've known for a while that Verdigris was going to be my victor, and it has been such a treat writing for them thus far. I am beyond thrilled that I will get to continue telling their story (along other people's) in a Non-SYOT called Blessings of Liberty. I have no idea when I'll begin writing it, but I am very excited to eventually put a pretty bow on this verse.
The main reason I'm not starting on BOL right away is because as I began planning, I realized that some of the decisions I made subplot wise last year in We The People made literally no sense, and therefore I am rewriting that entire story. While Sapphira is still winning obviously, I'll be accepting 11 other Tributes to fill out the cast. The original WTP also kind of sucked, so I gotta fix that. We The People: The Director's Cut comes out April 25th, and I hope you'll send me a Tribute.
But more on that later.
This isn't the last chapter of ACD by any means. There's 5 epilogues in the works featuring Verdigris along with all of our other friends, as there's quite a bit of loose ties to wrap up. I'll do my whole soppy thank you thing at the end of one of the epilogues, but as usual, I am blessed to have such incredible readers.
Fuck this shit, Verdigris is out (of the arena),
Linds
The Leaderboard:
Lethia Aphelion: II
Icarus St. Augustine: V
Beowulf Haleot: I
Hedy Lovelace: II
Atlantis Seasbane: I
Calsin Verrillo: III
Verdigris Ahane-Volcain: II
Mozi Hongqi: II
Malin Mardari: II
Bud Bancroft: I
Vancouver Easton: III
The Arena: I