THE REMNANTS

Chapter 11: Bella (Darling)

"There could not have been a lovelier sight; but there was none to see it except a little boy who was staring in at the window. He had ecstasies innumerable that other children can never know; but he was looking through the window at the one joy from which he must be for ever barred."

J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

-.-.-.-.-

Buffy called her "Decoy." She looked up that word in the dictionary once. It gave a picture of a fake bird used to draw real birds to their deaths. Since hunters do not usually shoot the decoy, but the real bird, Darling did not think the analogy fit. She thought "substitute" or "live shield" or "bait" would have been better names, but it took her all day looking up other words in the dictionary to come up with that list and so she gave it up.

Darling chose her own name that day, though she never told it to Buffy. Like "hidden kisses" and "bedtimes stories," names were to be kept safe in "innermost boxes" and not brought out for just anyone. One does not wish harm to come to their "darling" and so Darling she would remain, even if she was treasured by none but herself.

"You can call me Darling," she told Edward when he asked. She would be Darling to this manifestation of Peter Pan who, instead of growing into manhood, sought to remain locked in his adolescent aspirations. He formed his own version of Neverland in the desert in which he alone "brought the island to life." He sought a "nice motherly person" to keep his house, nurse his bruises, stroke his ego with cries of "oh, the cleverness of you," and free him from all the inconveniences of adulthood. She could do that. It was an improvement over being the decoy.

Like a plastic duck thrown into a pond when hunting, Buffy used her when convenient. If they were to survive life in Neverland, they needed to work together, but if a hard choice needed to be made, it was every duck for themselves. They were a team until then, though Darling could sense Buffy's guilt over their relationship from across the dining hall. She knew her treatment of Darling was hardly better than Edward's and so she made herself feel better by treating Darling as if she were made of plastic and not flesh. Darling understood, but she did not like being the disposable one any more than she liked being the decoy. In this place, few survived and if she was going to she needed to keep her mouth shut and her eyes open.

They took turns keeping watch and monitoring the video feeds. They shared the responsibility of tending the Others. They made future plans alone. Buffy plotted possible escapes or ways to sabotage the operations of the facility. Darling contributed little. Instead, she used her time to watch.

ooooo

One day, Buffy stumbled upon old security camera footage from the Temple's previous decades. This particular set of files was kept in a different section than all the others and showed evidence of recent activity. Since Buffy never could contain her curiosity, she soon called Darling over to see. The frames she pulled up showed Edward sitting on the carpet of his bedroom next to a Bella. This Bella was not like the others. Her long hair flowed down to her waist and her curved figure and flushed face showed evidence of years of life. This was a woman who had been allowed to grow up. Without audio, they could not hear the conversation, but it was their expressions that captured both of their attention. Edward was obviously singing to her. He ran his fingers along the woman's face as if she were a silk scarf and he gazed into her eyes with such an obviously love-struck expression that their mouths fell open.

"He used to be quite handsome," Darling observed without stopping herself from voicing her thought. "His face looks so different here."

Buffy gagged. "Yuck. He's a pig. How can you possibly find anything attractive there?"

"Look at his expression. He's obviously in love with that woman. Who he once was and what he could have become are different than who he is now."

"You've been watching too many romances. They've rotted your brain," Buffy said with a sarcastic eye roll.

"You've watched too many detective shows. They've made you cynical."

"Let's agree to disagree. Still, as your beneficiary I feel compelled to warn you against developing a crush on the monster. True, our choices here are rather limited, but really, even an online blind date with someone's pet cat tops that guy."

Darling shrugged and pulled her favorite book off the shelf in order to thumb through the familiar pages. "If you dislike him so much why are you stalking him and watching old security camera footage of him?"

"It's called studying the enemy. If I'm to escape, I need to plan for all contingencies."

"If that's what you want to tell yourself," Darling replied without meeting her eyes. She gave a small half-smile and ran her fingers over the words again.

Darling held her tongue, but she knew what the others failed to admit to. Edward was too blind to see it and Buffy fought it out of self-defense, but Darling knew. The mating bond was biologically wired into their DNA and the bond went two ways. She saw how the Bellas instinctively followed him with their eyes-the sunflowers to his sun. Buffy had been so ignored and sidelined in her early days that she built up thick walls to protect her soft heart within and she denied the pull she felt. She masked her longing with disgust and wouldn't admit, even to herself, that she felt the tug.

In the same way Edward felt drawn to them…all of them. Edward thought it was only an emotional bond and only to one woman, but he was wrong. Strong ropes tied him to each and every one and his emotional bond was only to the fantasy woman forged in his imagination. In reality, each and every Bella was a piece of his imagined mate, and he could just as easily grow attached to any. However, his very feast was what led to his famine. Badiyah filled one part of him, but not all, because he kept himself from fully bonding to her by filling some of his needs with the Others.

Darling felt the bond tug and pull on her like a rope, but she knew she could tug right back. On the other side of this game of tug-o-war, lay hands not used to the feel of a response pressuring him to pull tighter or let go.

oooo

"The difference between him and the other boys at such a time was that they knew it was make-believe, while to him make-believe and true were exactly the same thing."

.-.-.-.

From long years of atrophy, Edward's bands of self-control shriveled to cords so weak a newborn rabbit could burst their hold and let a wild, unrestrained side of himself run free without his knowledge. His instincts, long strengthened by uninhibited indulgence and given free rein to enact even his darkest fantasies, grabbed hold and he no more realized what he was doing than he recognized the line between reality and fantasy.

Darling called this other side of him "Peter." She watched and knew. When Peter was let out to play, Edward never knew what had happened. Darling quickly learned to differentiate between Edward and Peter. She had to, if she wished to live (which she did). When Edward was awake, there was a certain wrinkle in the forehead, a pursing of the lips, and a harder edge to the man's jaw that let her know that it was a conscious mind in control. When Peter was awake, his eyes glistened just so, his shoulders lost some of his tension, and his face relaxed into a fierce, focused glee.

When Peter reigned king in the Temple, he refused to change what he saw as a very acceptable state of affairs. True, Edward lost more and more daylight each month and the hours he lost Peter gained. How was that to bother Peter? Peter was a very simple creature with very easy-to-understand needs. He did not stop to moralize or rationalize or think too hard about his life. He was driven purely by impulse and desire. If he wanted it, he took it. If he didn't want it, he didn't. He made no apologies. He never pretended to be anything he wasn't. In his primal nature, Peter was driven by three forces: blood, sex, and a fear of the loss of blood and sex. Nothing else mattered and that was perfectly acceptable to him.

Buffy and Badiyah preferred Edward. The loyal idealist, the hopeless romantic, the self-satisfied moralist-that Edward was so weak and atrophied from long years being bound by the other that he held no more sway over the Peter's decisions than he did over the weather. The other guardians thought their path of salvation lay either in returning him to a previous golden era of clear thinking, or to escape him entirely.

Darling knew differently. She sought out Peter instead. In those times when he allowed his animalistic nature to rule, she knew his passions were the winds and he the kite. His desires were the rudder, and he the ship. Peter's appetites had long since outgrown the capacity of any creature to fill them and it was through reliance on his dissatisfaction that she gained her power.

The other Edward, the one she called Peter, was an insatiable predator, a brilliant strategist, a driven conqueror. He was as heartless as he was magnetic. After so many years, Peter ruled all but the smallest crevices of Edward's mind and if Darling wished to live, that was the Edward she must court and woo. If she were to rule Edward, she first must rule Peter and then Edward would so easily fall in line. And it was easy, too easy, to conquer his passions.

The Other Bellas were the foundation of their entire existence. They were his temple prostitutes, his blood offerings, his human sacrifices to ensure the sun rose and set again each day. They were his power and his weakness. The other guardians failed in their small-mindedness and abysmal lack of ambition.

Badiyah and her insipid devotion and inane faithfulness, gave up her life and gained nothing but hardship. Her selfless devotion and blind naiveté allowed her exploitation. Buffy masked her hurt, fear, and loneliness with sarcasm and self-medicated with trivial pursuits and fleeting pleasures. Her ambitions were too small and bounded by her desire to escape and her misplaced attempts at compassion and human kindness. Badiyah sought to control her life. Buffy sought to control the Temple.

Darling would control Edward.

She would not be prey. She would not be a piece of his game. If she became his source, the wellspring to meet all his needs, then she would take his place as divinity in the temple. It would be she who was worshiped and he the outlier, the priest, the offering, and she would never be replaced.

ooooooo

"I'm Wendy," she said agitatedly.

He was very sorry. "I say, Wendy," he whispered to her, "always if you see me forgetting you, just keep on saying 'I'm Wendy,' and then I'll remember."

.-.-.-.-.-.

She could still remember the first time she met Peter. One night, Peter came crawling through the halls of the Temple on his hands and knees wearing only a torn pair of shorts. He sang and cried softly to himself. When he came upon their room, he slowly creaked open the door and peered in with his dark, glistening eyes upon where they both lay. He licked his lips and watched them both sleep. Buffy never stirred or noticed his presence from her hidden cot across the room. However, Darling was awake and watched him as much as he watched her. He looked like Edward, the Edward she was used to seeing, however in his mannerisms, the way he carried himself, the wild air that clung to his expression, she knew she wasn't seeing Edward.

He crept closer to where she lay and began to whisper words of adoration to her. He took her arm and drew his tongue along the soft underside from her elbow to her wrist. As her heart started to pound, he gave her a menacing smile and stopped to close his eyes and smell the air. Then he lay his head against her breast to listen to the sound of her heart beat.

He likes the smell of my fear, she realized. She sought to calm herself. She ran through various means of escape in her brain, but those, she realized, would make her look like prey and this being before her was in full predator mode. If she wished to live, she needed to upset the balance of power between them.

She thought of how carefully he caressed the picture of his Bella once he found it…how many hours he spent locked inside her old room and she came up with an idea.

She threaded her fingers through his hair and drew his face to hers. Then she rushed at his lips with a kiss so fierce that he nearly sputtered in surprise. She pushed against him to plant her feet on the floor. He watched her with an almost hungry expression on his face as she beckoned him with one finger.

"Come," she said and she caressed his face again. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

Then he followed her as surely as if she pulled him by a rope through a ring in his nose. She led him away from the sleeping Buffy and away from her own cot to the next nearest room. It happened to be the room of his former guardian, the room he spent so many hours locked away in.

She pressed him up against the wall of the hallway and pulled his face down to meet her own. She kissed him again, long and deep, until she felt his hungry, desperate hands creeping up her pajamas and she pulled away.

"Not in the hallway, Edward," she whispered. "Go into the bedroom."

He fairly ran through the door she opened for him. She ran to the barracks to grab one of the Others and threw the poor woman into the room where Edward waited to pounce upon her. She pretended she didn't feel guilt. She could more easily sweep it away when she remembered that Buffy would have used her in the same way, and had used her in the same way, as it was her bed that Edward first accosted upon his entrance into the supply room, just as Buffy intended.

That was the rule in the Temple. Someone must die. It was all a matter of whose turn it was to die today (and Darling had no wish to die).

Ooooo

"That was the last time the girl Wendy ever saw him. For a little longer she tried for his sake not to have growing pains; and she felt she was untrue to him when she got a prize for general knowledge. But the years came and went without bringing the careless boy; and when they met again Wendy was a married woman, and Peter was no more to her than a little dust in the box in which she had kept her toys. Wendy was grown up. You need not be sorry for her. She was one of the kind that likes to grow up. In the end she grew up of her own free will a day quicker than other girls."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After Edward forced his lost love to return to him and imprisoned her in her bedroom, he barely left her door. Darling was in awe. For a time all sides of Edward coalesced into a single-minded desire to pursue the woman. However, as the man sank into the vampire and his mind was lost in his instinct, Peter came out to play and started to prowl the halls, without informing Edward of the change in bodily ownership.

One night, as Buffy slept and Darling took her turn in surveillance, she sat in the Generation Lab and watched a movie while she tended to some of the Generation tanks. She was surprised when a door opened and Edward walked in. His hair was messed, dirt streaked across his cheek, and his face carried the wild, unpredictable nature of Peter. He stalked towards where Darling sat, his eyes so black they could have been forged of obsidian, and he sniffed the air around her as if to test her mood from her scent.

He crept ever closer to her and ran his fingers through her ear-length hair. He closed his eyes and nestled into her neck and she could feel his breathe against her jugular. She fought to maintain her calm and keep her heart from pounding and giving her away.

She knew how to manage Peter. She'd done it dozens of times by now and lived to see another day. This day was no different. She raised her hand to stroke it along his cheek. He caught it and placed a kiss on her palm. She twisted around so she could grasp his face and she planted a kiss on his lips.

He growled and deepened the kiss.

"Come now," she said. "Not in here. Let's go to the bedroom."

She stood and made sure her hips swayed in just the right way and she turned to beckon him with one finger. He followed, as he always did. She pressed him up against the wall outside the bedroom door and kissed him until his kisses grew too desperate, too greedy, and then she pulled away with a half-smile on her face.

"Go on inside," she said as she silently opened the door. "I'll be there for you."

She sought to swallow down the slight guilt she felt at that. In that frame of mind, she'd sent him directly upon a woman (a sleeping woman) who was no longer one of the Others. However, Darling was tired of being the decoy. If everyone else could spend her life as they wished, why should she have any more regard for the well-being of anyone except herself?

When she walked back to the Generation Lab, she turned her music on a little louder so she wouldn't have to hear what came of their interlude. She'd heard it enough times in the past to have an idea of how it would play out.

She couldn't help but chuckle to think of Edward's future problems with his beloved after Peter came out to play. Edward wouldn't remember a thing, but his love no doubt would (if she survived it). Darling doubted she'd appreciate being the latest object of Peter's attentions or that Edward would understand her ire.

Ooooo

"Mrs. Darling: There are many different kinds of bravery. There's the bravery of thinking of others before one's self. Now, your father has never brandished a sword nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.

Michael: Where did he put them?

Mrs. Darling: He put them in a drawer. And sometimes, late at night, we take them out and admire them. But it gets harder and harder to close the drawer... He does. And that is why he is brave."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"We are helping Badiyah escape," Buffy told her one morning after Badiyah abandoned her hiding place and inserted herself into their everyday lives. She'd help her escape, if it meant the woman was out of her sight as quickly as possible. If her niggling sense of guilt wasn't enough to make her hate the woman, Buffy's affection was enough to ensure Darling despised her.

Buffy loved her. The self-centered, survivalist was taken up by the woman enough to put her own life on the line to help her escape. Darling hated Badiyah for that. Why was her life worth so much more than Darling's? Why should Badiyah be given Buffy's respect and attention and love and not her? How many times had Darling put her life on the line to protect Buffy and Buffy did little more than sputter a quick 'thanks'?

They took turns sleeping, keeping an eye on Edward, and packing the old truck with food, water, blankets, and other supplies. They didn't need to worry. Edward barely moved from in front of Badiyah's door. For two days, he seemed almost frozen in place like a statue fixed in the hall. When he blinked and movement returned to his limbs, they could both hear his pleads for her attention from across the Temple.

Buffy shook her head. "He's gotta be about ready to snap. He hasn't eaten since before you came and that was, what, six weeks ago? Any day now, he's gonna go feed and it'll be time to get you out."

Buffy made some canned soup and brought bowls to the dining hall for them all but Badiyah refused to eat. She instead insisted on taking a nap. When she refused dinner again later, Buffy grew worried.

"I'm going to go check on her," Buffy told Darling after they'd eaten. Darling nodded and picked up their dishes to wash them. She tried to swallow her unease. She knew what was wrong and she knew it was partially her fault.

She washed up the pan and the spoons and lay them to dry. She heard footsteps and muttering as Buffy came into the kitchen and started fussing with the cupboards.

"I'm gonna kill him. First I will castrate him and then I will kill him," Buffy said in between a colorful peppering of curses. "I don't know how, but he won't survive me. When I get my hands on him…."

Buffy began to pour all the ingredients of what she called her "special brew" into a cup as she muttered. She'd told Darling about this brew early on. It was one of the many things she needed to know to take care of the Others.

"While I can't save the lives of the zombie harem, as chief eunuch, I can make their ends easier to handle," she'd said. "Sometimes I slip strong sedatives to them before, well, before they go into the vampire's lair. Sometimes I can leave food and water for them whenever he forgets to close the door-which happens a lot. For the 'chosen few' who get his 'special attentions,' I have to do something else. There's only so much I can do to help those ones out," Buffy told her as she showed her all around the barracks and the Generation Lab.

"Those ones always grow sick within a couple of weeks. I've tried all kinds of things. They can't tolerate most foods, not even through their IVs, however they can sometimes manage very raw, bloody meat. I know, gross, but it works so whatever. Also, I have my 'special brew.' This magical potion took me over a year to perfect. It's got a blend of fat, protein, vitamins and the magic ingredient-spare human blood. I stumbled upon that one by accident one day. I caught one of those poor souls desperately drinking from the bag of blood that was supposed to be supporting a freshly hatched future zombie bride. I know-totally disgusting, but effective. My patients calm, their vomiting stops, they maintain weight better, and they grow happier-especially if I lace it with sedatives. They all meet the same end on the other side of Edward's teeth, but at least they are spared a bit of misery.

"I call it the 'sex sickness' because it happens within a few weeks after their initiation to non-virginhood. At first, I figured it was because humans were allergic to vampires. Now I think it's because vampirism is contagious and that's was why they suddenly want to drink blood. If Edward didn't go ahead and eat them, I think they'd turn into vampires too and this is just the early stages of the process."

Darling found it an intriguing idea. It was possible to change from a human to vampire? From weak to strong? She filed that away for future consideration, along with so many of the tidbits Buffy taught her.

Darling recognized the 'special brew' in Buffy's hands. Buffy warred with an internal turmoil which soon defeated her. She slammed the cup against the counter and burst into tears.

"Damn it!" she shouted. "This isn't what's supposed to happen. This is what I give to those Bellas-the undead horde that will soon be eaten. She's not one of them! She's survived so much-how could this be her end?"

Darling didn't answer but let her cry. She was used to Buffy's monologues and just as used to Buffy pretending she wasn't there to hear them. She took a washcloth and wiped down the counters. Buffy curled in a ball on the filthy kitchen floor and wept.

"She did it. She proved we could get out and be real people, you know? She managed to become a wife, a mother, a woman, a person, and not simply another zombie…she's too good to end like this," Buffy sputtered between sobs.

Badiyah found Buffy there, covered in snot and her swollen eyes covered in her hands. She pulled Buffy into her arms and held her close. Not for the first time, Darling's chest burned with jealousy. Why should they experience affection and belonging and true caring and she was, once again, excluded? Was she any less worthy, any less than they were? She decided she hated them both.

"Shhh, shhh, shhh. All will be well, little one. All will be well," Badiyah whispered to her and stroked her hair with her bangled arm.

"You don't know that," Buffy cried. "You will not be buried in this god-forsaken piece of desert! You will get out. I'll make sure of it."

"I know you will," Badiyah said and she smoothed Buffy's jagged hair out of her eyes, wiped a tear with her sleeve, and smiled.

"I know it totally sucks that you got dragged back into this mess, but I'm so very glad to have met you," Buffy said, trying in vain to bring herself back under control. She failed and instead hitched on a sob.

"You as well. I only wish…," Badiyah said, and trailed off again.

"What?"

"I asked Edward once-if I could keep some…If we could have our own family. You can imagine his reaction," Badiyah said with a cynical laugh. "However, those years could have been so much more tolerable if, well…"

"I understand."

Badiyah smiled and bent her forehead till it touched Buffy's. "You do. Too well. Better than I'd ever wish for anybody to understand."

Buffy smudged all the gunk off her swollen face and pulled herself upright again. She tried to smooth her hair back, but the shortened locks failed to come into any semblance of order.

"Oh, here. This is for you. I'll make more for you in a few hours," Buffy said as she handed Badiyah the cup of thick, muddy slush. Badiyah sniffed it and raised one eyebrow.

"It will help your tummy feel better. It helps the Others when….well, it's not unusual…a few weeks after experiencing that…they all get a little sick and have trouble eating. Don't ask me to tell you what's in it because I won't, but you can trust me. It helps."

Badiyah took her hand and thanked her. She drank as much of it as she could.

"So, does it pass? This sickness?"

Buffy sighed. "I've never seen it pass….but to be fair, Edward doesn't like to keep his women that long after, well, you know."

Badiyah snorted. "You know, I nearly burst into the tent to rescue Fatima when I first saw Amir go to lay with her. I thought I would never see her again and I could not bear to lose her. Aisha found me crying like my heart would break and when I told her what I was upset about, she laughed and laughed and laughed and gave me a very graphic lesson on the ways of a man with a woman to correct what she called my 'poor upbringing.' I think she just delighted in teasing me, but she never let me release the shame of it and mocked me forever after for my fear."

"You know, without movies or the internet, and being stuck here, I think that's a very valid fear. Did you ever tell them about, you know, where you came from?"

"No. that was the past. We did not need to speak of it," Badiyah said. "I do not know what I spoke in my dreams, but during my waking hours, I could pretend none of this ever happened."

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind forgetting most of this," Buffy said.

They pulled each other off the floor and vanished into the storage room again. They walked with thair arms enfolded over each other's shoulders and their heads bent towards each other to whisper their secrets to each other. They left Darling to her tasks and her silence in the world of "best forgotten about."

It was slightly satisfying to know Darling would soon not have to deal with Badiyah again. If things played out as Buffy feared, the woman would be dead within a month. The guilt still gnawed on her gut at that thought. Darling had unleashed a hungry tiger upon the unsuspecting woman as she slept, leaving her as easy prey. Edward would never know he did it. His ignorance would protect him. Darling was not so fortunate.

Still, how many times had Buffy placed Darling as the wall between herself and Edward in similar circumstances? Would she have wept so if it were Darling who had fallen ill in Buffy's stead? She doubted it and bitterness burned in her heart.

Ooooooo

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."

.-.-.-.-.

Three days later, the video feed showed Edward's shoulders slump and he scurried like a badger into a hole as he retreated to his lab. Buffy winked at Badiyah and Darling.

"We'll have time now," Buffy said.

"You are sure?" Badiyah asked.

"Yep. I've done very thorough research on this. He'll be out of it for at least a week, maybe even longer. You'll have time," she said. "I'll delay him as long as I can when he wakes."

"You be careful as well," Badiyah said. "I do not want you to put your life in danger for me."

"All our lives are in danger all the time. It's how it goes. If a few of us don't look out for each other, we'll never make it out. Come on."

They watched the video feed for a few more minutes to make sure all was safe before they ran to the garage. The old truck sat beside the new, shiny, driverless car that, any day now, Buffy would hack into to program it to take her away. In the old truck, Buffy placed another package on the passenger's side seat filled with jars of powder.

"What's this?" Badiyah asked as she climbed into the tall cab and pulled out the keys.

"Powdered, ummm, smoothie mix for you. It's what I've been giving you…just without the liquefied parts. If you mix it with water, it should work just fine. I've used it a few times in the past when I didn't have as much, umm, liquid ingredients to work with."

"I am grateful. You are correct. It has helped quite a bit. I could almost finish all the food I ate today."

"Keep me updated on what happens and what you need…I mean, I don't know how I'd get stuff to you, but I'd at least want to know…you know…that you are OK….or not OK…," Buffy trailed off and gave up trying to make sense. Instead she threw her arms around Badiyah. "Please be OK!" she pleaded.

"May blessings and peace travel alongside you on your path," Badiyah said and kissed her on both cheeks. "I am grateful for your companionship and your assistance and so many things. You are a gift to me."

"Ok, OK. I can't handle this much emotion at once. You go before I start blubbering all over you again," she said and pushed her. Badiyah laughed and turned to Darling.

"You have my gratitude as well. May you find your own path," she said and she kissed Darling's cheeks. Then she climbed back into her own truck. Buffy opened up the garage and the gate for her. She watched her leave until she could no longer see the truck driving through the sandy horizon towards the northern mountains.

"I need Cheetos and Buffy season two," Buffy told Darling as they locked the garage up again. "I'm so depressed."

Darling smiled and didn't answer. It was always safest not to answer.

Oooooooo

Badiyah called a few times in the next week-just enough to say she was alive and well. It was two weeks later when Buffy received another call. Buffy turned the satellite phone's speaker volume on loud enough for them both to hear. It was barely enough to hear Badiyah's strained whispers.

"Don't worry about me anymore," Badiyah told them. "I am here with Zainab and Dawlah. Fatima is here tending to me, but I do not have much time. I wanted to thank you for the gift you gave me. Because of you, I held my son in my arms again and my spirit will be at peace since I depart surrounded by those I love most in the world, except for you. Thank you," she said into the crackling, unstable satellite phone connection.

"No, no, no. Badiyah-don't talk like that! I can help. I can come. Edward hasn't woken up yet. Turn on the location on your phone. I'll come and help. What do you need? I'll get it," Buffy babbled as her face drained of color and she grasped the phone as if it were a support beam.

"There's nothing that can be done," Badiyah said softly. "You were right. There is no return from this sickness. I thank you for making it so much easier than it would have been."

"Oh, hell," Buffy said and burst into tears. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not. Buffy, you remember what you promised?"

"Of course."

"Good. I will be waiting to see Paris."

The line went dead. There were no other phone calls. Darling couldn't meet Buffy's eyes. The grief she held was too deep and it threatened to engulf her.

She is a fool, Darling thought. She should not have grown attached. One does not survive by caring.

Buffy disappeared to try to escape her grief by mocking soap operas and frosting over her emotions with ice cream. She could have done a better job pretending she was OK if Edward hadn't chosen to wake up in a panic looking for the woman he had unintentionally sentenced to death.

Darling let her be. She also pretended to be more OK than she really was.

Oooooo

Buffy's careless façade crumbled in light of Badiyah's death. Darling couldn't bear to see her sadness. Upon Buffy unexpected release into what Buffy called "the wild," Darling couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. Her days as a decoy were over and she no longer had to live with a daily reminder of the consequences of her actions.

Buffy gave her a guilt-induced, tearful farewell with promises to have Darling come stay with her upon Edward's promised release of her. Darling smiled, allayed her guilt, wished her well and actually meant it. Upon her departure, Darling took in the Temple. She paced the length and breadth of it and she stood a little taller. She was now queen and could rule as she wished without any of the restrictions Buffy's presence (and conscience) necessitated.

She had no wish to be "released" to suffer and strive in an outside world she was woefully unprepared for. This was her home, her life, her place, and her kingdom. With her plans already long set in motion, she could now give herself fully to her conquest.

Oooooooo

"Keep back, lady, no one is going to catch me and make me a man."

"But where are you going to live?"

"With Tink in the house we built for Wendy."

.-.-.-.

Buffy left her with all the nearly complete research she had begun on blood cloning, along with a complete blood bank of samples from each of the Bellas Buffy had tended.

"Someday, they won't have to suffer and die anymore," Buffy told her with her admirably compassionate motives. She had been the best of the guardians. Darling's motives were hardly compassionate, but she still appreciated Buffy's ideas.

Darling rejoiced in how easy this would be. She tested and played and copied and kept careful records of each attempt to discover which worked the best. Then she tested her experiments on a very willing Peter.

The day she copied Badiyah's blood exactly and brought him the first warmed cup of her creation, she discovered her key to her throne. Peter eagerly drank it and his eyes shown with an expression of awe and undisguised adoration.

"Where did you get this?" he asked as he licked the edges of the now empty cup.

"It's a secret. Do you like it?"

"It's the best I have ever had. Do you have more?" he said and gave her such a boy-like expression of anticipation that she laughed.

"Perhaps," she said with a playful smile.

He followed her around like a love-struck puppy asking for more.

"I can only give you one cup a day," she told him with a gentle tap on his nose.

"Please?" he begged.

"Well, I have a few things I need you to do for me and then I might give you one more," she said. He obeyed. He did everything she wished just to get another taste of that blood.

ooooo

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Darling met his thirst for blood and simultaneously helped allay his fears. Actually it wasn't so much she allayed them as she dangled a prize and distracted him. Even on the days when his paranoia and fear paralyzed his senses and he sought to fight invisible foes in every hallway, all it took was the sight of her with a cup and he'd pacify like a purring kitten, sink into her lap, and forget everything else. He forgot his fight and his fears and drank. She never gave him enough to lose consciousness completely-only enough to make him malleable. Then he stared into the empty cup, licking his lips, and grinning a lazy grin like a self-satisfied pup after a bone. She ran her fingers through his wild hair and whispered the words he delighted in hearing and he gave her no more problems.

Peter and Darling enjoyed nothing more than their shared secrets and Edward's obliviousness to it all. The man had no idea.

Edward, in his moments of rational thought, prided himself on how well he was "limiting his intake of blood" in order to "focus on his work". He thought it was evidence of his growing self-control. Darling knew better but wisely held her tongue because his current project was so beneficial to her long-term plans. Peter had no wish to limit intake or develop self-control and she ensured that one had a constant supply. In his gratitude, Peter followed her around like a contented shadow. She owned his food supply and, soon, she would perfect cloned blood enough to cease production of living hosts and force Edward (and Peter) to rely entirely on her.

Edward also prided himself on his newly acquired fidelity to his lost love. Ever since his revelation on finding his mate, he was convinced of his chastity. Darling knew better. Some nights, Peter prowled the halls with a different kind of thirst. These were as manageable as his thirst for blood. He sought her out because she was the one who fought him, challenged him, responded to his tug on her rope and this inspired him more than any fantasy. She played tug-o-war with him until she saw the fire lit in his eyes and he pulled into her for more. Then she opened the door of Badiyah's room, thrust him in, and locked him in with a more disposable Bella.

Let him long for her. Let him pine for her. Let him dream of her. She would not die for his pleasure, but she did not mind enjoying his torment. She had no need to experience the wasting illness that plagued the others.

Yes, Peter was hers and he would always come back for more. She only had to make sure she gave him just enough to wish for more but not so much he grew satisfied. She knew the secret to owning him was in keeping him bound in desire. His desires enthralled him as much as they compelled him. If she only gave him enough blood to whet his appetite, he would come back again and again for more. If she only teased and tantalized him with her tongue and hands, he would always come back again for more. He must never conquer, he must never be satisfied, and she must never forget that in this game of tug-o-war, her goal was to keep it tied.

Edward never knew that she scheduled one week each month when Edward was allowed to come out to play. That was all she could bear before his moody self-loathing compelled her to send him back to sleep again. The rest of the month, she brought out Peter and let the games proceed

Ooooo

"O Peter, don't waste the fairy dust on me."

She had risen; and now at last a fear assailed him. "What is it?" he cried, shrinking.

"I will turn up the light," she said, "and then you can see for yourself."

For almost the only time in his life that I know of, Peter was afraid. "Don't turn up the light," he cried.

She let her hands play in the hair of the tragic boy.

She was not a little girl heart-broken about him; she was a grown woman smiling at it all, but they were wet eyed smiles.

Then she turned up the light, and Peter saw. He gave a cry of pain; and when the tall beautiful creature stooped to lift him in her arms he drew back sharply.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Everything changed after he discovered Badiyah's death. It was unfortunate he found the truth so soon as it threw him into a spiral of depression that made Darling concerned. He was prone to rash, extreme actions, and she watched him twice as carefully and worked twice as hard to keep him under her careful control. She still had another step of her plan to enact. She could not allow Edward to disorganize her plans with his self-destructive thoughts.

She thought he was checking his accounts. That's what it looked like he was doing. The next thing she knew, he smashed in a mirror and locked himself in his Research Lab. It wasn't his scheduled day to feed. He refused to answer her and tell her what he was up to. Instead, he barred the door behind him and did not emerge.

She checked in the barracks and stopped. It was completely empty. He had taken every single one. When she looked at the security footage feed on the laptop, her heart nearly leapt out of her throat. He was carefully arranging cans of kerosene and matches nearby a wall. She caught a glance of his eyes. This was not Peter, this was Edward, and she didn't like it. Not one bit.

She knew what was happening. Edward didn't want to go on anymore.

He couldn't do this yet. He was not allowed to die, not without her permission. She wouldn't let him. She managed to pry the cover off an air vent and squeeze through into the Research Lab. There, she found herself surrounded by his feeding frenzy. She made her way through the dead and the living to where the vampire lay. She rejoiced when it was Peter's wild eyes that met hers and she knew she still had a chance. Blood dribbled down from his teeth to his chest and he clung to his dying prize. He gave her a wide, unabashed grin.

"It's my Darling," he said. "Have you come to join the fun? Edward has let me run free today."

"You know he won't let you go free forever," Darling said as she met his gaze. "He plans to kill you both once he wakes."

"'To die will be an awfully big adventure.'" Peter quoted with a wicked grin. He licked his lips and did not for a moment consider worrying.

Darling slowly walked closer to him, careful not to make any sudden movements and see herself mistaken for his prey. Peter was not good at planning for the future or considering consequences and right now, with his arms full of all he currently desired, she had very little leverage and they both knew it. She came closer to him and ran one finger up and down the skin exposed by his torn shirt.

"'To live would be an awfully big adventure!'" she crooned back.

She trailed kisses up his pulsating chest and stopped to kiss him deeply on the lips. He responded with ravenous glee and dropped the dead woman from his arms. She fell in a heap onto the floor and he placed his arms around Darling's hips to pull her even closer.

"'Forget them. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again,'" she whispered into his ear.

"'Never is an awfully long time,'" he answered as he leaned his head against hers.

"Nearly as long as forever," she said and she met his blood-red eyes to give him her final request. "Give us forever. Let me give us forever."

She felt it-the moment he surrendered. He would always surrender to his queen. He could not resist her siren's call.

ooooo

Three days later, when her body no longer burned and her cries stilled, she woke to a silent, but not empty, room. She gave the prostrate, unconscious remnants of her vampire creator a haughty glance. In this state, he was neither Edward nor Peter. He was as empty of conscious life as the corpses around him. With his chest burst from his greedy indulgence, she wondered if either man would ever wake again.

"I will see you again, soon, Peter," she whispered into his unhearing ears.

She took what she needed for her future, then she left Barzkah for life in the "wild." It would take time, but time was something she now had in abundance.

Impenetrable.

Unconquerable.

Immortal.

She would return to her Temple again soon.

"So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!"

Author's notes: Quotes are all from J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan.

Well, now you've met Darling.

I know there are still a lot of questions swirling in the air. Answers will be coming-though most might be in the final chapter. In our next chapter, we will finally hear from Badiyah one last time.

I've so appreciated all your feedback and reviews. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!