Author from the future :
"My PC got bricked halfway through writing this chapter so I had to go get it repaired."
I have come here today to deliver another chappy.
Based on irl experiences of foraging - screw stinging nettle, the thing is everywhere. Even in the spring here in eastern europe you can see some currently flowering, it's called Red deadnettle. Deadnettle because it doesn't sting - a plus, but it still goes to show that you can find it anywhere. Like with cats - it's present on every continent, just in different forms. At least it helps the wild bees in March/April when all of the more well known flowers aren't here yet.
A google search later.
Nevermind, it's not even the same species of plant, mum lied to me, they just look similar. Some o' that good ol' convergent evolution, it always hits you in the back of the head when you least expect it. Red Dead Nettle is from the family Lamiaceae and Common Nettle from the family Urticaceae. Apparently, it also has another less known name - purple archangel Booom, Epic! Who the hell named these things?
I had planned to add a lot more plants into the chapter but ultimately decided against it. Plants like wood sorrel or wild yams, going ahead and instead doing something a little more interesting and less boring. I love worldbuilding, I get a tingly feeling in my stomach every time I write about my interpretation of the pokemon world.
I've spent loads of time simply debating with myself on how the ecosystem in the pokemon world would look like. A mix between the anime realism + my knowledge of the wilderness. Will there be real life animals for example?
Nope - strays too far from the anime and breaks immersion, 'shatters it' is a more accurate term actually.
There are some cases in the anime where it shows regular animals. In episode 7 you can see some regular fish in Misty's gym. In episode 15 you can see Chicken drumsticks and an actual lobster being part of the food the gang is eating. I personally believe the animators were simply careless, not paying any attention to the world when they added that in. It's the first season after all. Some digging into the internet actually supported my thoughts - Shudo, the chief writer of the original pokemon series, said that earlier instances of real world animals appearing was because "The animation staff was not paying enough attention", My high IQ at work once again, what can I say…
This is a fanfiction though, If I were to include them they would have to make up the majority of the 'fauna'. If you actually desired an ecosystem that made sense, further destroying immersion. Even then, all it would take is for a single rapidly reproducing carnivore to come into play and all of the animals go - Poof, Ecosystem gone, it's just too unstable and prone to collapse.
*Uncomfortably takes a look at Borne of Caution* You're not slipping by buddy. You better have a real good explanation on why you added real life animals in.
Real life plants though? Nah, they're fine homie. Fits both the anime criteria and the realism one.
This also means that dragon types are that much scarier and harder to take care of since all of them are pure carnivores… I think. Idk, I'll have to go on a case by case basis with each dragon type. Flygon for example? It's a pokemon which lives in the desert. It would make sense if it needs to squeeze out anything it possibly could from the world around it - plant or pokemon.
It's why you don't see many large animals out in the desert, too inefficient. And even the ones who live in it, like camels, are on the outskirts where the desert borders the more bountiful biomes. This is a fantasy world though so it's alright, I inserted elemental energy into it all as well. Nice way of explaining how it's possible for them to live in such conditions, even though I mainly added it because it bothered me how Rock types like Onix can live underground their entire lives. Goodra is another interesting case, probably won't be purely carnivorous…
While I'm on the topic of dragons, I refuse to acknowledge Dracovish and Appletun as actual pokemon. If adding real life animals shatters immersion then Appletun just does an orbital bombardment with nukes on the glass it already shattered with its fat apple pie looking ass. In the words of the great Markiplier - "Are these even real Pokemon anymore? Am I still in the world of actual pokemon?" That man is blessed for not witnessing the atrocity that is Alolan Dugtrio, Jesus Crist. Its design is even more awful than Appletun's one… Somehow.
I don't think the 'general idea' of Appletun is bad per se. The mon would look nice if you gave it an actual shell instead of whatever the hell that is.
Also, Main Character Mudkip doesn't know how to do foraging. Even though I do. Guess this isn't a pure self insert anymore.
Please, do enjoy the chapter.
- o - o -
"Come here Danny dear." Brendan's mother calls to us, dressed in such a way that all of the skin on her body is covered. Jeans, long but thin socks, a long sleeve shirt, gloves and a summer hat - enough for people to call you mad considering the blazing heat right now. Well, the clothes are a size bigger than they should be. They're quite baggy, the feature allowing for air to come in and cool you down when you're sweating.
Brendan told her that she's crazy for wanting him to dress in the same way she has though. I wish he had the brain cells to figure out why exactly she wanted him to wear such clothing when she stated that we're going to the forest. Not desiring to press the issue, she just let him experience for himself what it's like, letting him learn from his mistakes.
Turning to look towards my trainer I see him massaging his forearm, an angry red rash clearly visible on it, the consequence of him getting a little too intimate with a nettle bush. Two fun facts - the microscopic needles of the nettle don't seem capable of penetrating my skin. Even my eyes aren't at danger since my cornea is positively thicc and hard, the plus of being an aquatic pokemon. You need good eye protection if you actually want to see what's happening underwater.
Second fun fact - that same nettle bush is currently positioned inside of Louise's logic defying, gravity denying, game inventory, dimensional bag thingy. Apparently nettle is an edible plant, if you boil it that is. Quite nutritious, 'the most nutritious' if she's to be believed.
"So much for beach training. I can already tell that we're going to be spending most of our days this vacation learning about the vegetation here."
"Heh Heh, oh come on Belly~ Foraging is fun." Lola gently scratches my head as she walks by me, calling me by a nickname I really dislike. It makes me feel fat.
"It is if you actually have hands." I retort.
"Pfft." She suppresses a laugh. "C'mere..." She picks me up to hold me in her arms.
"Keep these serrated leaves in mind, this is the only plant in Hoenn which grows on the ground and has leaves of this type, they're quite easy to spot." Louise says in a teaching manner, pointing with her index finger towards the plant in question.
"Alright." Brendan responds.
"Good. Now." Pulling out a small gardening shovel and gripping it in one hand she digs into the soil around the plant.
"You need to be careful as to not damage the root." She says that as she pulls the plant out of the ground. Taking a closer look at it… the thing looks like a potato, it's round and dark.
"This is a very useful one. It's about ninety-seven percent pure water and on average weighs about eighty grams after you peel all of the skin off. In case you are really low on water you can find ten or so of these and eat them. Not the most pleasant experience but it's better than nothing. They're a bit spicy. We'll use them to make a salad for lunch today." Saying that she cleans the thing of excess dirt and places it in the magic bag.
"Keep everything I've said in mind because you'll be the one foraging and cooking the next Sunday, if you don't manage to forage anything you or your Mudkip will not be eating anything that day." She turns to him and says with a malicious smile.
"Uuuuuuuuurghh. Okay mom." Suddenly Brendan loses all the strength in his arms as they start to dangle from him following the motions of his body.
"..."
Brutal. Well, whatever, she's a complete Spartan with anything involving food I've found out. More than I feared. It's no wonder that Brendan and Daniel were so distressed when she was given Surge's 'recipes'.
At least we'll have Nettle soup if Brendan turns out to be a complete brainlet when it comes to foraging, after his stinging experience I've noticed him dodge a few bushes of the thing. Bushes which I'm certain Louise purposely walked by and brushed past might I add.
I think her words were a jab at me as well, to get me to start memorizing the things alongside Brendan.
"Urgh… can you let me down? I've got stuff to do."
"Heh Heh, you can blame your unnatural intelligence for this, Bel. If you were a regular Mudkip she wouldn't have stepped as far as to include you in the lessons… Umm, Yet." Her last word is spoken with some hesitance. She gently lowers me to the ground next to Brendan, I can see her stare at me with some hesitation on her part.
"Yeah, I'm pretty smart. What can I say?" A sudden revelation dawns on me as I boast. "Actually." I look at Lola.
"Will she force me to learn how to cook when I evolve into a Marshtomp and you know… Get hands?" I ask her.
"Yep! Without a doubt." The response is instantaneous and delivered without a hint of hesitation on her part.
"Paaaaaain…" I do my best Malphite impersonation.
Lola gives me a head pat before we go join Brendan and Louise.
- o - o -
Learn, cut, snip, chop, dig. Walk.
Learn, cut, snip, chop, dig. Walk some more.
Repeat ad infinitum.
Dear god, how is she able to fit so much stuff inside of that bag? The thing should weigh close to fifty pounds by now, with all the random mushrooms and plants inside of it. A lot of the stuff here is poisonous it turns out. We even came across the 'Wooper Mushrooms' as I will call them from now on, their real name completely ignored. They're poisonous to humans…and to pokemon to a much lesser degree…
We haven't located any Berry bushes yet, which is weird. Weirder still is that we haven't met a single pokemon, outside of the occasional flying type soaring up above. That is what's really off putting in this situation. If I was told by someone that we were back in my old world and foraging in one of the forests there, I would have believed them. I mean, nettle and mushrooms, really?
The main difference in the Flora is how big everything feels, the trees and bushes are gigantic, easily twice the size I would consider normal, I don't know how I didn't notice way back when Rohan was taking care of me. There's barely any grass growing in the areas more dense in trees since the light is being absorbed by them, where there is even the smallest beam of light piercing through the canopy, in its place bushes taller than Brendan can be seen.
"Danny, Bellum. Come over here." Lousie suddenly whispers to the two of us as we're walking down the tiny overgrown path. She quietly crouches behind some foliage. We follow her example.
"What's going on?" Brendan asks her as he quietly approaches her.
She simply remains silent for a bit, eyes locked and looking at a place somewhere over the foliage. Sadly I'm too short and I can't see what exactly it is she's observing.
"Do you see that tree over there? The one with a black bark and green vines growing on top?" She points somewhere, I presume to the tree she's describing.
"Yes?" Brendan says.
"That's a Nincadian tree." She states. Brendan's eyes gain a small spark upon processing what she just said.
"Cool…" He absentmindedly responds as he continues to look at the tree.
Wow, Nincadian tree. That is… not subtle. I wonder why they gave it that name, Golly gee whiz!
"Now, listen carefully Danny. The major thing about the Nincadian trees is their sweet sap, if you boil out some of the water inside it you can make an amazing syrup that's used in many recipes. It's because of this sweet sap that Nincadas like the tree so much." She turns to observe the area around said tree once again. Happy that she hasn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, she continues.
"Nincadas usually tap into one of the roots and feed on the sap until they grow large enough to evolve. The main thing about them is that they're fiercely territorial, willing to attack anyone and anything that comes near the tree, even other members of their species. That's good because there's never more than a single one of them that can be found feeding on the tree, but also bad because it will definitely strike if you get too close."
She turns to look at the two of us.
"So, how do you feel about going there and having your first real battle against a wild Pokemon?"
"Wait, can we?"
"Of course" She gives him the thumbs up. "Lola will cover you in case you mess up, just don't get too close to the tree yourself and let Bellum take care of it. Nincadas get agitated enough to burrow themselves out of the ground and attack if they just hear something come close to them."
"..."
A couple of seconds pass in silence with Brendan looking at his mother.
Immediately after that he turns towards me and picks me up with such monstrous speed that I have no time to react. Holding me in such a way that I'm turned towards him, staring into my eyes with his serious and determined ones, he begins to speak.
"Feeling up to it, Bel?"
"Sure." I weakly nod my head in response.
"Great! Alright, listen up." He ponders on what to tell me for a dozen or so seconds. "You've never fought a Nincada before since they are one of the banned pokemon at the school. They're incredibly violent and difficult to take care of, as mum said." Bringing me closer to his moon-sized face, he continues.
"Nincadas have super sharp claws but basically no ranged attacks, the only way you can lose is if it gets close to you. They're slow and the wings they have are too small to allow flight. You can easily outrun the Nincada here."
I have to extend my legs to push him off of me since we're basically 'kissing distance' close.
"They're almost blind too since they live underground. Try luring him out of the ground by firing a couple of fast and loud ones at the tree. That should be enough. Then you can just beat him down with water guns."
Lola comes to my rescue, thank god. Putting both of her paws between the two of us and prying him away from me.
Brendan turns to look at her, disgruntled because of her interruption… She's giggling, her paw positioned on her mouth in an attempt not to just straight out burst into laughter.
"Did you manage to catch anything about what he said, Belly?" She asks me after calming herself.
"Ye…yeah? Shoot at the tree then shoot at whatever comes out?" I mean, come on. What's a wild Pokemon that has no combat training going to do against me? Even if it happens to have more raw power I should still be able to stomp it into the dirt… with that said, It'll honestly be quite embarrassing for me if I lose and Lola has to help me.
"Heh Heh, that sounds about right, yes. Nincadas are weak to water so you'll have an extra advantage. Normally me and Louise would just throw rocks at the tree until it showed up but a couple of water guns should do the trick."
Lola motions for Brendan to place me back down onto the ground. At that he faces me once again and asks. "Are you sure you're ready?"
Responding with a simple nod he releases me.
Well… turning to look back at the trio of Lola, Louise and Brendan, they encourage me to go ahead through silent gestures. With careful steps I go around the foliage, probably unnecessary because of how small I am but whatever. Better safe than sorry, I have one chance at this.
Breaking through all the greenery I can finally see the tree in question. An unnaturally black, almost charcoal like in color bark. The whole thing is covered in leafy vines using the tree as a support for their growth. Luckily for me there aren't a lot of trees, grass and bushes in the way meaning that I'll have a clear shot at the Nincada that comes out.
With a slow and careful creep I reposition myself to the place which has the clearest view of the tree with the least amount of obstacles. Preparing myself for shooting water guns higher in strength once the pokemon pops out, I dig my feet into the ground.
Alright.
This is nothing like the anime is it? Where you can find the pokemon aimlessly roaming around. I never would have known that there is a Nincada here unless I was told. If all forest pokemon are hidden like this it's no wonder that we barely spotted any.
It takes me less than a second to conjure up a small water gun. Aiming, I shoot it directly at the tree. The resulting impact causes some of the leaves to snap from the vines they're connected to, they slowly fall down unto the ground.
Nothing.
I fire another one a couple of seconds after.
Still nothing…
I keep firing every three or so seconds at the tree. Close to tenth shots is when I finally stop, seeing movement.
The ground near the base of the tree quite literally bursts with force. Dirt and mud flies in every direction, falling like rain a second afterwards.
*ScreeeeeeEEEEEEEeee!*
The awful screech that follows the Nincada's entrance causes me to cringe a bit. I've fired guns before, they're loud, but not as loud as this, holy…
"Who? Who! Who!?"
The small cloud of dust caused by the 'eruption' clears out to reveal the Pokemon. Clearly downright furious.
"I will…"
The Nincada doesn't get to finish whatever it was going to say because of the water gun that smacks it directly in the face. It has enough power behind it to force the pokemon off the ground and make it violently hit the base of the tree.
"what…?"
The Pokemon barely has time to make sense of its situation before it gets hit by a second blast with the same strength. I think that I heard the sound of its carapace cracking.
"..."
Was… was that it? It couldn't have been that easy right?
Wait, did I accidentally kill him? I've used medium strength water guns against pokemon that have a type disadvantage towards me, they're not that devastating.
"My ears! What was that?!" Turning around I can see Brendan making his way through the bushes, followed by Louise and Lola.
"It's a Nincada, of course. They're quite loud aren't they?" The response is quite…sassy.
"That was more than loud mum! You could have at least warned me, my ears are ringing! I can still hear it screeching." He digs into both of his ears as he says that.
"We'll get you some ear plugs next time, I've gotten used to their screeches so they don't really bother me anymore." She opens up her game inventory bag and starts searching for something inside it.
Lola steps in front of us and blocks us from moving closer to the tree.
Louise glances towards the Nincada for a second "Oh yeah. I forgot that they do that." Not caring to explain what she meant by that she returns back to checking her bag. I turn to Brendan for answers, he's just as confused as I am since the Nincada is completely motionless.
Smiling at us, Lola picks up a rock and chucks it at the Nincada.
The moment the rock hits it…
"Got you!"
The Nincada suddenly comes to life. Springing up, it cleaves the rock in half with one of its claws.
"Gah!" Only to be put out of commission for good by a kick from Lola.
Picking up the Nincada she knocked out, Lola leaves the Nincada to rest in some bushes closeby.
"As you can see Danny, you should take extreme caution when dealing with wild pokemon. They will use any dirty trick they possibly can to try and win, playing dead is one of them… Ah here we go." Louise explains to us as she picks up some metal tools from her bag.
"Yeah."
I walk up to Lola and ask her "Is he alright?"
"Who? The Nincada? Hah! Don't you worry Belly, they're built to take a lot of punishment. Even if severely injured, all they need is a quick nap and they'll back up again like nothing happened."
She picks me up again. And goes to join our human companions.
"Nuuuuu, put me back down!" I playfully try to wrestle myself out of her grip. "I'll have you know that I possess legs." Unlike a certain Swedish boy. "Legs which can be used to walk and run with."
"Nah. Rejected."
Over Exaggeratedly I cease all movement. Making it seem as if I'm 'disheartened' by her words.
"ok…"
"Now! I will teach you how to tap a tree. Take this drill." She hands Brendan a drill… a manual, non-electric one. And Brendan has noticed that.
Electric drills are widely used in the pokemon world, which means that she has gotten this hand operated one on purpose…
Satan.
"First things first! You need to locate the sunny side of the tree, the side which gets the most light, you'll be able to get more sap if you tap it there."
"Mom." She doesn't respond to Brendan calling out to her.
"Then. You want to drill around two and a half inches into the tree. I've marked out the length on the drill to be exactly that so you won't need to worry."
"Mom!"
This time, she responds.
"Yes sweetie?"
"You can't expect me to drill so much into the tree! It's going to take forever!" The satanic smile she has doesn't vanish for even a bit. Suddenly, I'm very happy that I don't have arms.
"Well, you said that you wanted to exercise on the beach didn't you? I've been very considerate and got the hand drill so that you can do some exercises with your upper body instead of running all day~" With a smug expression on her face, she continues
"I'll say that the day has been pretty successful. Little Bellum here got to fight a wild pokemon for the first time too, I'd argue that it's better that he came here instead of remaining on the beach all day."
"..."
"I…" Brendan, suddenly getting a thousand yard stare, wordlessly approaches the tree and starts drilling it.
"You know, back in my day, we didn't have all of these fancy electric tools. We had to work up a mighty sweat to accomplish simple jobs like this one. It's good since it saves you a lot of time, but it really makes you weak if that's all you do."
Okay, I call fucking bullshit on that, she's lying through her teeth. You're not that old. Electric tools have existed for quite a long period of time already.
Looking up at Lola, I immediately know that my speculation is correct. No words are exchanged between us but I can see it in her expression.
"Poor Danny."
- o - o -
A man wearing a good looking suit can be seen sitting on a chair inside his office reading reports and signing away papers, his expression one of pure concentration... And annoyance, going by his furrowed brows.
Interestingly, in front of him a Nidoqueen can be seen sitting on a couch facing a bulky coffee table, she's also doing paperwork. The pen she uses to do such paperwork is not held in her claws. No, it's levitating, her handwriting being a perfect copy of the man's one. It's a thing of beauty to observe the pen moving through the air as if enchanted by some form of magic.
The room's door suddenly opens and a woman walks in through it. She approaches the man's desk, laying down an inch thick stack of papers and leaves the room directly afterwards. Not a word is uttered during the whole exchange.
Taking out a random paper from the middle of the stack the man reads the first few paragraphs of it.
"Haaaaaaaaa…"
A long sigh escapes his lips.
Chopping perfectly down the middle of the desk with his right arm he pushes all of the scattered paperwork to the side… and off of the desk. Right where a bin is conveniently positioned. Not that it helps much as barely one out of every ten of them makes it inside, the rest scattering down unto the floor.
The childish action causes the Nidoqueen to stop whatever she's doing and look at him weirdly.
Opening a drawer the man pulls out a cigar along with a coil lighter. Putting the cigar in his mouth he stops himself from lighting it at the last second.
"Could you open the window for me." He asks as he focuses his gaze on the second pokemon in the room. A Persian curled into a nice sleeping position atop the couch sitting opposite the Nidoqueen.
The pokemon doesn't even bother to open its eyes, the jewel on its head flashing for a split second before the window in the room snaps open.
"Thanks."
Lighting up his cigar he deeply inhales before puffing out a thick cloud of smoke that briefly covers his face.
"..."
He remains like that for several minutes, smoking his cigar and staring into space.
"Who would have thought? Who would have thought that Hoenn would have not one but two large scale criminal organizations, of all places? What an absolute catastrophe this whole operation has been. They had the audacity to disguise themselves as charities and pull the wool over everyone's eyes, operating out in the open… I honestly have no words." Pulling out the previous paper he rereads it. "How did they manage to stay out of government detection for so long." He bites out, releasing some more smoke into the air.
Organizing the papers in front of her, the Nidoqueen reaches for an interesting looking object and lifts it up with her powers. The object itself being an amalgamation of different materials - stone, metal, silicone and plastic. All of them bearing the same dull darkish gray color. Anyone even the least bit acquainted with technology would immediately recognise it as a loudspeaker cone and some of the parts that usually come attached to it.
An engineer deconstructing the thing to its component parts would be baffled, wondering why anyone would make something like this since it does not possess a single wire. Not even the magnet, one of the most vital parts of a loudspeaker, a part without which it just cannot work. Well, any loudspeaker with the exception of this one that is.
The device buzzes to life with its topmost part blurring in motion, powered with the earth energies controlled by the pokemon.
"Oh come on now Giovanni, both of us know the answer to that question. Governments don't just not notice players of this scale." The sound produced by the device perfectly resembles the voice of your average middle aged woman, one which perfectly fits the Nidoqueen.
If the species had vocal cords resembling those of humans, then people would expect the voice to be an exact copy of the one currently being produced. Described with two simple words - Motherly and Mature.
"The interesting thing is how successful said charities were at embezzling, money laundering and bribery. They've been doing this for a staggering amount of time." She finishes.
Giovanni sighs, tapping his cigar over the ashtray.
"We may as well pull out of here, it's plenty obvious that we won't be receiving anything good from this situation. With the Government, Magma, Aqua and Lance up the alley we have absolutely no chance of breaking through and establishing stable roots here. Might establish a couple of sleeper cells but even that is unlikely."
"I believe that would be for the best, Giovanni."
Before turning back to finish her work she 'scolds' him.
"You better pick up those papers you scattered around the room, we can't have such a moral and upstanding member of society litter the place up, can we?" The amusement in her voice plainly displayed for anyone to see.
If a regular person were to listen in to the conversation he would never even realize that Giovanni's conversation partner is not human. Even emotions are transmitted through the voice with absolute perfection.
"What, are you my Mother?" With a final puff of smoke he puts out the cigar before storing it back into the drawer for a later time.
"I might as well be. With the way that you've been acting it's obvious that you need a woman around the house to keep you in check."
"Ni- hihi- hihi- "
A barely contained laughter escapes the lips of the Persian, the feline obviously has been listening to the conversation. The laughter is quickly silenced by the Nidoqueen as she throws a stapler with expert precision directly in the pokemon's mouth, gagging it.
- o - o -
P.S.
I watched a guy named Skooch on youtube making a tier list on the edibility of pokemon. It was pretty funny since he picked a lot of poison types… Also it was incredibly heretical since he put Nidoqueen and Nidoking in the 'S' tier. He's sick in the head. He also put the entire Charmander evolutionary line in there.
Maybe I should cut down on the author's notes section a bit, they're beginning to rival the length of the chapters and I sure aint running out of topics to bitch and whine about any time soon. Next chapter - rant about the prices of cooking oil. Yay….