AN: Hi, it's been a while and there are few things I want to say before y'all start reading.

First, I'm sorry it's been so long, I wrote about half of this chapter like a month ago and then I got terrible writer's block out of literally nowhere. I hope you all enjoy, though.

I CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT A LINK ANYWHERE ON THIS HELLSITE, I'M SORRY. IF YOU SEARCH FOR THIS STORY ON AO3 UNDER THE SAME TITLE, THEY'RE ON THIS SAME CHAPTER THERE.

Once again, Lily and James's homecoming was tainted.

After the Free Dance, James's back had decided to start shit up again. Lily knew that the fall probably hadn't been good for his back but he hadn't said anything about it until the medal ceremony.

Minerva had given him painkillers and now that they were back in London, James had been sent to the doctor first thing Monday morning.

Lily felt awful about not asking about his back before and now that he was taking a long time at the doctor, her paranoia grew.

Lily sat with her friends after their morning session on the ice. They were meant to be going to a Pilates lesson but Lily wanted to wait for James to get back, so they waited with her.

Her worry was definitely about James's health but she'd be lying if she said there wasn't another factor in play now. The morning after the free dance, NISA had announced Lily and James as members of the teams for Europeans, Junior Worlds, and Worlds.

It couldn't have been more perfect. It was everything Lily could've asked for. But since she couldn't have nice things, James might have reaggravated his back injury and now who knew what would happen.

"Lily, did you see you and James blew up skating Twitter yesterday?" Mary asked.

Lily frowned. Her friends were obviously trying to distract her. "You know I don't follow any fans."

"Me either on my main, but I do on my burner account." Mary held out her phone. "You have to see this."

Lily took the phone. It was a tweet with three pictures attached. The caption read, 'Lily looked like she was on the verge of tears after their fall and James was trying his best to make her laugh while he tightened his blades, they are sooo cute!'

Lily closely inspected the photos. She knew some of the photographers must have gotten a few shots of their little Tonya Harding moment but she hadn't really planned on ever going looking for said photos.

In the first picture, James was focused on his skates while Lily stood beside him with a deep frown on her face. In the second one, James was looking over at her with a smile on his face and she looked up at him with tears glistening in her eyes and her nose red.

In the third one, James was still smiling but Lily was trying to hide a grin behind her hand. God, even she had to admit that photoset was hella cute.

She scrolled down to read the replies, which she knew was dangerous, but she couldn't help herself.

'they've only been together for four months and I already stan them so hard.'

'Find someone who looks at you the way James looks at Lily.'

'This is the cutest shit I've ever seen.'

'the way i have never seen them skate but this tweet turned me into an evans/potter stan.'

Lily smiled. Sometimes she forgot there were nice people on Twitter. She turned to Mary. "You liked and retweeted?"

Mary shrugged. "It's my burner."

Melanie raised a brow. "Why do you need a Twitter burner account?"

"So I can tweet what I want without judgement!"

"Lily."

Lily's gaze turned upwards to see Minerva standing there with a sad look in her eyes. She tensed.

Lily returned Mary's phone and tried her best to give her friends a reassuring smile before standing up.

She and Minerva walked over to stand rinkside. Lily already dreading what Minerva was about to say.

"I just got off the phone with James's mum," Minerva said.

Lily nodded slowly, a lump in her throat.

"She said James had a headache and felt dizzy this morning so he got his head checked out too when they went to the doctor to see about his back. He seems to have a mild concussion."

Lily's ears started ringing, she felt sick all of a sudden.

Minerva continued. "His back isn't in great condition either. The doctor said he can't do any strenuous activity for at least three weeks, including not lifting anything."

Lily felt like she was running short on oxygen. "Anything?"

Minerva looked at Lily tenderly. "Anything." She rubbed Lily's shoulder. "I'm going to go call NISA now, is that okay?"

Lily knew the deeper meaning of Minerva's words, she was going to call NISA and tell them Lily and James were withdrawing from Europeans, which meant that the first alternates were going. The first alternates were John and Tala. Lily felt a flash of anger go through her chest.

She nodded and Minerva squeezed her arm before leaving.

It took Lily a couple of days to gather the guts to go and visit James. She spent the vast part of those two days locked in her room, moping until her mother had forced her to book a last-minute appointment with her therapist. Afterwards, she had decided to finally go to James's house and see him.

The day Minerva had talked to Lily, she'd called him later, they'd talked a little bit, but Lily had felt like crying the entire time, she'd hung up quickly and promised to go to his place and see him soon.

So, now she stood in front of the Potters' very nice townhouse holding a brownie dish and staring nervously at the front door.

The door opened all of a sudden. Lily's heart almost stopped.

"Lily! I thought I saw you through the window. Come in, honey," it was Mrs Potter.

Lily smiled nervously, she wasn't quite sure if she should be embarrassed or thankful. She walked into the house.

Mrs Potter hugged her tightly. "Oh, how are you, hon?"

Lily smiled slightly. "I'm okay. My mum made you this."

Mrs Potter's face brightened. "Oh, brownies! Thank you so much!"

She took the dish and walked further into the house. Lily followed.

"His room's just upstairs, first door to the right, you can go right up."

Lily nodded and started up the stairs before she heard Mrs Potter call her name. She turned.

Mrs Potter smiled. "Leave the door open a few inches, will you?"

Lily's eyes widened. "Of course." She scurried the rest of the way up.

James's door was already opened when she got upstairs. She knocked softly on the doorframe to get his attention. "Hey."

James looked up from his laptop. He was sitting in his bed, laying back on about five pillows stacked against his headboard. His laptop on another pillow on his lap. Lily could hear voices coming from the laptop speakers, he must've been watching something, which he quickly paused. "Oh, hi, Lily." He shut the laptop and threw it beside him. "Come in, please."

Lily wrapped her arms around herself and stepped into the room. It was surprisingly neat, but she wouldn't be surprised if that was James's mum's doing. She sat at the corner of the bed. "Whatcha watching?"

He took a second to respond. "Uh, Paddington."

Lily's brows raised slightly. She smiled. "Didn't take you for a Paddington fan."

He shrugged. "Just wanted to experience some momentaneous joy, and Paddington is the only one apt for the job."

Lily's smile dropped slightly. "Should you be watching movies though? With your concussion?"

"It's mild. The doctor said I could watch a little bit."

Lily nodded once before dropping her head in her hand. "I'm sorry," she said without looking at him.

She heard James shift in his seat. "What for?"

Lily sighed, she felt a lump in her throat.

"Lily, look at me." She turned to look at him, his eyes were getting that look in them again. "What the hell are you sorry for?"

She cleared her throat, she could feel tears pooling in her eyes. "I shouldn't have let you skate. You were hurt, and I did nothing. You always look after me, and I couldn't do the same."

James leaned forward to take Lily's hand. She immediately shook her head. "No, don't sit up. Your back." She scooted forward so she could sit next to him while he laid back, still holding his hand. Now that she was closer to his face, she could see the emotion in James's hazel eyes. He looked at her with such tenderness Lily felt like she didn't deserve.

He squeezed her hand. "Lily, I don't know what the hell you mean you did nothing. You must've asked me if I was okay some two hundred times in a span of ten minutes. You told me various times it was okay if we withdrew. What else could you have done? You're not a doctor, and I didn't say anything, you couldn't have known I was more hurt than I let on. If anything, I should be the one apologising."

Lily shook her head. "You took the fall for me, why would you need to apologise for that?"

"Because I can't imagine how scary it must have been feeling me start to slip off my edge while being upside down on the ice. You could have really hit your head bad, because of me."

Lily frowned. "It wasn't your fault, James."

"While I'm carrying you, it's my responsibility to keep you safe."

Lily shook her head. "It still wasn't your fault that your blades..."

"I know."

Lily paused for a second then tentatively said, "d'you think it was him?"

James sighed. "I'm about ninety per cent sure. But there's no way to prove anything. There were no cameras in the arena and no one saw anything."

Lily nodded. "I never thought he'd stoop that low."

"Well, there is a chance that it wasn't him."

Lily raised a brow.

James smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I know. The best we can do is never let our skates out of sight during a competition again. Especially if John's there."

Lily's shoulders slumped. "This sucks."

"I know."

Mrs Potter appeared in the doorway with a small knock. "Lily, will you be staying for dinner?"

"Oh, I should really head back home," Lily said.

"Come on! We never got to thank you for dinner at your place. You should stay."

Lily smiled. "Okay."

Mrs Potter smiled widely. "Great! It'll be ready soon."

After his mother left, James let out a sigh. "I think it'll be beneficial for you to take a little break, in the long run. You've been working yourself silly."

Lily considered this. "I guess. I'd actually thought I'd pick up some more work though."

"Seriously?"

Lily shrugged. "Those plane tickets for Hungary and America won't pay for themselves."

James paused for a few seconds. "You know... you could always let my parents–"

Lily cut him off. "No, James. I can't let you do that."

James visibly held back a scoff. "Why not?"

"I just can't take your money, okay?" She was getting frustrated. "I don't want to feel like I owe you anything, and I don't want to feel like a charity case."

"Lily, you're my partner. And I want to help you. You shouldn't work yourself to the ground to be able to skate. Skating is already a full-time job, and you have two part-time jobs, it's taking a toll on you."

Lily averted her eyes. He might not have been entirely wrong. She shrugged. "I manage."

James raised a brow. "How many hours of sleep do you get a night?"

Lily scoffed. "Three and a half."

James seemed surprised. "Dear fuck, what are you, Leslie Knope? I thought you were gonna say like, six."

A small smile tugged at Lily's lips. "Was that a Parks and Recreation reference?"

"Don't try to change the subject, how is getting four hours of sleep a night healthy?"

Lily crossed her arms across her chest, purposefully not answering.

"Will you at least try to lighten your load the next three weeks. And then maybe reconsider?"

Lily's head tilted. "Is that how long you'll be off the ice? Three weeks?"

James sighed. "Yup."

Lily nodded slowly. "Fuck."

"Fuck, indeed."

Upon their arrival in the dining room for dinner, Lily quickly discovered that the meal Mrs Potter had been 'preparing' was actually Chinese takeout.

Mrs Potter smiled upon seeing them. "Come on, sit down, loves!"

Lily sat and started almost throwing dumplings onto her plate.

Mrs Potter beamed at her, Lily had no idea how her cheeks didn't get tired from all the smiling. "Lily, did James tell you his decision for your exhibition program?"

Lily was taken aback for a second. She'd almost forgotten their casual bet in Poland when James had been fixing his blades. As it turned out, Sirius had actually taken some time to Photoshop James's face onto Tonya Harding's face as he seemingly was quite bad at Photoshop. James had reminded her about the bet during the plane ride home, and upon her asking what he wanted as a reward he'd said she could decide.

Lily realised that letting James choose their exhibition program was potentially dangerous, but that was the only thing she'd come up with at the moment since he probably wouldn't take money if she offered.

She glanced at James before answering. "He hasn't, actually."

Mrs Potter turned to James expectantly.

He played around with his food. "Well, I thought maybe we choose the actual song together, but I thought it could be something by... Ricky Martin."

Lily's brows raised in surprise. "Oh." She looked at Mrs Potter, who had a knowing grin on her face, and suspected what was happening here. "That'd be cool."

Mrs Potter jumped slightly in her seat. "See? I told you she'd be cool with it."

"I mean, I'm not very well-versed on his catalogue, I only know two or three songs, but I'd be willing to check him out."

Mrs Potter's smile dropped ever so slightly at Lily's words, and Lily thought she saw the woman's eye twitch. She kept her excited tone though. "Not to worry, this family is made up exclusively of Ricky connoisseurs."

Lily turned to James with a raised brow. "Really?"

James shrugged. "Well, technically, yeah. Since my mother has been making me listen to the guy since before I was born. But I wouldn't say I'm a super fan."

Mrs Potter frowned. "What do you mean you're not a Ricky super fan? You've seen him in concert five times!"

James looked done. "Five times I was forced to attend."

Mrs Potter turned to Lily. "Ignore him, hon, he loves Ricky deep in his heart, I know it." She gave James a deep look. "And I know he'd never disappoint his mother by ruining his first chance to skate to Ricky freaking Martin."

Lily frowned. "First chance? Why didn't he and Catherine skate to him?"

Mrs Potter took a breath. "Well, Catherine is a great skater and I love her dearly but... she was never very good at Latin rhythms. And I remember your Samba from last season, and you were great!"

"Oh. Well, if you have any songs suggestions, you can give them to us."

James's eyes widened in alarm.

Mrs Potter grinned. "I would be absolutely delighted, Lily."

James groaned. "Just try to stick to less than ten songs, mamá."

Mrs Potter waved a hand dismissively. She beamed at Lily. "Oh, this is so exciting!"

Lily couldn't help but smile back.

Lily ended up taking almost the entire week off. She hadn't realised how tired she was until she slept for almost ten hours after getting back from James's house. She'd been so disoriented when she woke up, she'd seriously thought she'd slept for days.

After having spent so long without more than a few hours of free time at a time, she felt incredibly weird at first. She kept thinking there was something she had to do. Work, training, more work. But then she reminded herself she was taking a break from everything.

Of course, in the end, she only missed about four days of work at the diner, although her boss was very understanding, she probably wouldn't appreciate Lily taking a week off every month until April. But she felt a lot more relaxed than what she'd felt in a long time. It was nice. Almost worth missing Euros. Almost.

When she finally set foot on the rink Saturday morning, a slight sense of anxiety crept up her chest. Mostly because stepping onto the ice alone reminded her of those bleak nine months she'd spent partnerless. It made her shudder internally. But she reminded her brain she had a good, stable partner now.

Her friends hadn't hesitated on telling Lily they could lend her their partners whenever she needed, which Lily appreciated. So, after skating by herself for a while, she ran through a Starlight Waltz with Remus.

As they finished, Lily heard some yelling coming from the other end of the rink. She turned to see Narcissa and Evan fighting. "What's gotten into them?"

Remus shrugged and adjusted his grip on Lily's waist. "Dunno. They've been like that a lot more lately. I guess they genuinely fear not getting the European title."

"Hm. You're probably right. They haven't been like this since last years' Worlds."

Remus nodded knowingly.

Lily couldn't quite tear her eyes from them. It was like watching a trainwreck. Horace was desperately trying to get them to chill out but it was obvious they were both too frustrated. Lily probably would've cried if Evan gave her the look he was giving Narcissa right now. She had no idea how Narcissa dealt.

Eventually, Narcissa and Evan exited the ice early and Lily focused fully on running through all the difficult steps and turns in her programs.

It was nice. Getting to leave the rink early. Most days, Lily would stay at the Palace until 6 PM, and leaving at noon made her feel like she still had the whole day ahead of her. Of course, she quite missed training properly with James, but he had been right in saying she needed a bit of a break.

Lily walked into the locker room by herself. All her friends were staying at the Palace for longer, so the room was empty when she entered.

As she unlaced her skates, Lily heard raised voices outside the room. Fuck. It was Narcissa and Evan. She would've figured they'd left already.

At least Lily assumed it was Narcissa whom Evan was yelling at since it was only his voice Lily could hear.

"–NEVER MET SUCH AN INCOMPETENT, USELESS SKATER, IT'S A MIRACLE YOU DON'T FALL EVERY TIME YOU HAVE TO SKATE ON ONE FOOT! I SWEAR IF WE LOSE THAT TITLE BECAUSE OF YOU I WILL LEAVE YOU, NARCISSA."

Lily heard Narcissa reply in a much lower tone of voice but couldn't make out what she was saying.

Fuck. She'd heard them have arguments before, but she'd never seen Evan be so outright horrible to Narcissa. Lily suppressed a shudder. Boy, if she didn't hate Evan Rosier already...

Lily startled when the locker room door opened and Narcissa walked in with her jaw set and a hard look in her eyes.

Narcissa took a look at Lily but didn't say anything, just sat down on the bench as far as possible from her and started unlacing her skates.

Lily knew Narcissa could be a little... volatile at times, so she stayed quiet while the older blonde hastily untied her laces.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked. She knew she was risking Narcissa's wrath, but it was impossible for her to not say anything.

Narcissa scoffed. "Leave me alone, Lily. If you heard anything, just forget it."

Lily left her laces alone and looked at Narcissa. She couldn't help but think back to when she'd been with John. She tried not to think about that time often, but this was too reminiscent of the times John had said similar things to her and she'd done nothing about it.

Lily armed herself with courage. "It's not right, Narcissa. He shouldn't spew abuse like that at you."

Narcissa scowled, still working on her laces. "I'd hardly call it abuse. It's not like I don't yell at him too."

"Well, I've never heard you call him useless and threaten to leave him."

Narcissa's jaw set. Her hands left her laces and she finally turned to look at Lily. "Just leave it alone. You wouldn't understand."

Lily pulled her leg up on the bench so she could face Narcissa properly. "But I do understand, Narcissa. Maybe it looked fine from the outside, but neither of my previous partnerships was exactly healthy. Especially with John. It was more than once that he said things like the ones Evans said to you to me."

Narcissa huffed. "You didn't leave him, though, did you? You stuck it out until he left."

She did have a point there. "No, I didn't leave. But you know why I didn't? Because as female ice dancers, it's ingrained into us from a young age that we have to fight for our partners, tolerate them, take care of them because there are so few of them. We get a twisted idea of how relationships between men and women should be, and it took me a long time to get those ideas out of my head. Being in Minerva's group helped, but it wasn't until I started skating with James that I truly realised how a partner should treat you. He's never yelled at me, or blamed our shortcomings on me, or threatened to leave me. Those simple things should be the standard, and we have to make them the standard. We shouldn't settle for less."

Narcissa got a bit of an odd look in her eyes for a second, but it quickly disappeared in favour of her usual glare. "That's a nice sentiment and all, Lily. But it's different for me. We've been undefeated this season, we're well on our way to an Olympic medal, there is no way I'm leaving him now. You said it yourself, male ice dancers are difficult to find, and I will not give up my career because Evan can be an arsehole sometimes."

Lily let out a small sigh. She'd figured Narcissa would say something like that. "It took me a while to realise this but... no medal is worth withstanding abuse."

Narcissa scowled. "So you're telling me if James started acting like this tomorrow you'd just give up your World spot and leave him behind?"

"In a heartbeat," Lily said with a serious look.

Narcissa seemed slightly taken aback by this response, but recovered quickly. She scoffed. "Just leave me alone, Evans. I didn't ask for a therapy session."

The word therapy turned on a light bulb in Lily's head. She finished taking off her skates and put on her shoes. She rifled through her handbag and there, in one of the small compartment, she found the business card she'd gotten from her therapist ages ago. She discreetly set it down on the bench beside her, stood up, and left without another word.