AN: The only reason this didn't take me two extra weeks to finish is because of Taylor Swift releasing her new album which made me suddenly be super inspired to write.

Lily watched the European Championships alone. Mary and Yuna had invited her to watch with them, but Lily felt like she might have an adverse reaction to watching the ice dance event, and she'd rather not be with her friends for it.

So, on Thursday at noon, Lily locked herself in her room, wrapped a blanket around herself and turned on the TV to watch the Short Dance. She didn't really pay that much attention as to what was happening. She felt mostly numb. It hadn't taken her mum long to come knocking at her door. Lily had reluctantly opened it and then let her mum hold her in silence while they watched the last group. It was nice. She felt like her mum had held her together.

The rest of the events were actually enjoyable for Lily. She felt incredibly proud of Javier, her personal favourite men's skater, for winning his fourth consecutive European title; she rejoiced for her friend Zhenya defending her title; she was blown away by watching Aljona still so strong after switching partners so late in her career.

She also felt very happy and proud of Melanie (okay, and Sirius, too) for placing eighth and getting a new personal best score.

Lily then proceeded to spend her birthday doing nothing, she'd only been dragged out of her house briefly by her friends to get dinner, but other than that, the day had passed without much fuzz. She tried not to overanalyse James's happy birthday text – of which, she'd only read the first two sentences of three paragraphs – but she had spent more time than what she'd be willing to admit thinking about those two sentences and thanked God she hadn't actually read the whole thing, her brain would've short-circuited analysing about every word of it.

Lily didn't usually speak to her friends a lot when they went away to competitions – and vice versa – so she was rightfully surprised when she got a call from Melanie Sunday morning. She was a bit groggy from sleep but she picked up.

"Hey, Lil. How are you?" Melanie's soft voice came through the phone.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Um, I'm okay."

"Mary told me you didn't want to watch Euros with the rest."

Lily sighed lightly. Of course. "I just didn't feel like it, I guess."

"But, you're okay?"

"Yes! Promise."

Melanie sounded unsure but let it go. "Okay, then. I just thought I'd call since Narcissa has locked me out of our room."

Shit. Lily had almost forgotten Melanie had been unlucky enough to get paired up with Narcissa at their hotel. "What the hell? Why?"

Melanie sighed. "I don't pretend to know the inner workings of that woman's mind."

"Where are you, then?"

"Just on this small lounge at the end of my floor. I think she's upset because she and Evan lost the free dance last night, even though they did win the title, she was crying when I came in, and she yelled at me to get out."

Lily thought for a second. "Hm. I hope Evan didn't give her too much shit about it."

"Evan?"

"Well, their relationship isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows, is it?"

"Huh. I guess not. I figure she's gotta unlock the door at some point since she has to go to the gala rehearsal in like, fifteen minutes."

"Right. So I take it you and Sirius weren't..."

"Invited to the gala? No, no, we weren't. But it's okay, it was a long shot either way."

Lily wished the organisers would wake up and realise that not only Melanie and Sirius were always crowd-pleasers, but their exhibition programs were always guaranteed fun.

After a pause, Melanie said, "you should've been here."

Lily's breath hitched. There was nothing more she would've wanted. "I know."

"John and Tala flopped bad. They couldn't even get the crowd to pay a sliver of attention to them. They're that boring."

Lily tried to bite down a smile. "Yeah, I saw. The thing that's been keeping me going at the moment is the thought that we're going to Worlds and not them."

Melanie chuckled. "Yes, that is absolutely right. You keep thinking that. In a few short months, we'll be in Boston and John and Tala will be sitting at home."

A wave of appreciation for Melanie passed through Lily. She already knew all the things Melanie was telling her, but hearing reaffirmation out loud was unbelievably comforting.

They hung up not long after that. The Europeans finally over and done with, talking to Melanie, and the thought of finally getting back on the ice with James next week had Lily feeling a sense of peace she hadn't experienced in a while.

It was a Wednesday the day James returned to the ice. Lily had arrived at the rink earlier than usual with him so that they could have some space before everyone else got there. And she wouldn't admit this to anyone but she was also just eager to skate with James again after three weeks.

Lily sat beside James on the bleachers while he finished lacing up his skates. She tried to think of something to say but felt like whatever she said would be the wrong thing.

"I heard Minnie made you skate with some other guys, I hope you didn't miss me too much."

James's voice took Lily right out of the trance-like state she'd been in staring at her skates. "Oh, yeah. It was okay, I guess. Not the same as with you, obviously."

He smiled. "Well, not to worry. I'm good as new, promise."

Lily managed a small nod. She was still a little nervous. She wasn't sure she'd ever let him lift her again. She had to though.

James finally finished tightening his laces and stood up. "Let's go, then."

Lily took a deep breath and stood up as well. She followed him to the entrance and waited for him to take off his guards and step onto the ice before following. She watched him carefully as he stroked slowly.

He looked at her, a slightly annoyed look on his face. "Lily, stop looking at me like that. I'm not going to break."

Lily exhaled sharply and looked down briefly. She skated until she reached his side. He took her hand and they skated along the boards.

"Should we do a Ravensburger Waltz?" James asked.

Lily cocked her head in thought. "Um..."

"Come on, we can't put this off forever, the Bavarian Open is in less than three weeks. I'm absolutely fine, and I promise to tell you if at any point I'm not."

During James's recovery, NISA had decided to send them to the Bavarian Open in Germany to raise their world standing as much as possible before Worlds.

Lily nodded. "Alright then."

James grinned. "I'm going to go get them to play something more waltz-y."

He let go of her hand and rushed over to the other side of the rink. Lily was tempted to call after him to skate slower but stopped herself.

God, if someone had told her four months ago she'd be this distressed over James Potter's wellbeing she would've laughed in their face.

If Lily was honest with herself, she knew that her crippling anxiety over James's health wasn't just a typical reaction to her skating partner being injured, but she was genuinely afraid to even think about the deeper meaning of these feelings.

"Sweet Christ, you've really got it bad, haven't you?"

Lily's heart dropped in startlement. Alena had snuck up on her at some point. "What are you doing here so early?"

Alena huffed. "Skating. Now, stop diverting."

Lily shrugged. "What? I've literally no idea what you're talking about."

Alena raised a brow. "You and James."

"What about me and James?"

Alena crossed her arms over her chest. "You fancy each other."

Lily shook her head. "Our relationship is not like that."

Alena chuckled. "Right, it doesn't seem like you guys want to jump each other's bones at any given minute."

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. What a bold child. "James and I are and will remain strictly platonic..." she struggled to find a word, "business partners."

Alena had the gall to let out a resounding laugh. "Right, of course. Lily, you're so into James, it's painfully obvious, really."

Lily was ready to retort when she stopped herself. Was there really a point in lying to this child that seemed to have been born with a built-in lie detector? She sighed. "It is not."

A pleased look passed Alena's eyes. "It's a dangerous thing to be in love with a skating partner."

"Whoa, okay, I wouldn't say in love."

Alena smirked slightly. "Right. You should still tread carefully. Wouldn't be ideal to have to search for yet another partner at your age."

Lily's jaw dropped. She knew that was just Alena's humour but Jesus Christ. The little shit. "Excuse me? I'm eighteen! And I'm not planning on having to get a new partner."

Alena's smirk seemed to grow. "Alright."

She skated off.

Lily hadn't really thought about it before, but the thought of James leaving her made her queasy. She didn't think she'd even want to get a new partner in the event of their split. She'd never find a better partner than James unless she snagged Scott Moir himself. She felt like she still had so much to accomplish in skating but she couldn't picture doing it with anyone but James – which was not a sane person thought since they'd only been skating together for four months.

"Hey."

James had reappeared at her side. Lily felt like hiding. She knew James couldn't know what she'd been thinking but he might realise she'd gotten weirdly emotional all of a sudden.

She took a deep breath. "I don't want to do a Ravensburger Waltz."

James frowned. "Oh?"

"It's just such an ugly pattern, I want to skate something more... enjoyable for your first time back on the ice."

James nodded. "Alright."

God, she really hoped he didn't think she was being weird. "How about a Golden Waltz?"

He smiled widely. "Sure." He took her hand. "There's our waltz."

To Lily's surprise, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls had started playing. Well, it was the right tempo, technically. She let James lead her to the far side of the rink.

Lily faced James with one hand clasped in his and the other on his shoulder. They stood together as James counted them in to the beat of the music.

Lily had almost forgotten how much she enjoyed skating the Golden Waltz. It took her a little bit to remember all the steps, but once they were really into it, it was as if they'd been skating it all season.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

"Why'd you hate the Ravensburger Waltz so much anyway?" James asked.

"I don't hate it. It's relatively easy to skate but it's just so ugly. It's all those swing three turns."

He considered this. "Shoot the duck, then."

Lily almost lost her focus at James's reply. She quickly realised what he was talking about though, and she complied. James turned her around so they'd be in a Kilian hold, side by side, and Lily lowered herself onto a 'shoot the duck' position, in a sitting stance with one foot on the ice and her free leg outstretched in front of her while James held on to her hand to help her keep her balance.

When she got back up and faced him again, she held her breath. She wasn't entirely sure what was it about that exact moment but looking at his smile and his deep hazel eyes, she felt her heart drop into her stomach. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed him until then. She'd missed seeing his face every day, and being in his arms five hours a day, and rolling her eyes at his bad jokes, and holding his hand.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

She momentarily regretted not doing a better job at talking to him while he was away from the rink in the past weeks, but every time she'd picked up her phone she'd panicked at the thought of seeming overbearing. But she realised now that that was stupid. She was his friend. Their relationship had developed enough that they could safely say they were close. It was stupid to pretend that they weren't.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

What she'd told Alena had been right. They were platonic business partners (yes, and also friends) and they couldn't be more than that. But at that moment she found herself wishing that they could be something more.

They finished the second section of the waltz during the lengthy instrumental part of the song. They'd finished in a close hold, facing each other. James's arm was wrapped around her waist, holding her closer than necessary, but Lily found that she didn't quite mind. The song still played softly, fading out over the speakers.

Lily looked into James's eyes and hoped he could tell she'd genuinely missed him. Lily wasn't sure if it was her jumper or the closeness of James's body, but she felt her temperature rising. She exhaled slowly and snuck a glance at his lips.

The song suddenly picked up the pace again and Lily was taken out of her trance. She jumped out of James's arms and shook her arms out, unsure of what to do with them. She felt panicky all of a sudden.

When everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

James cleared his throat. His cheeks were flushed red. "Um, maybe we can do a Ravensburger now? I promise the swing three-turns look like the height of elegance when you do them."

Lily smiled, despite herself. "Sure."