A/N: Severus learns to cope with Grace's passing and how to handle his grief, bonding in the aftermath with not just Lily, but Harry as well.
Chapter 5 Moving Forwards
While Grace's death had undoubtedly rattled Severus, he felt as though he was coping well, he attributed some of it to Lily's presence. Lily was far more accustomed to dealing with grief and managing it thanks to her experiences in the war, and she was able to help Severus where she could when it came to processing and coming to terms with his own grief. The wise words of her father echoed back to her many times over in her head, that the best way to deal with one's grief was to truly remember what made them special, and to do their best to honor their memory. It was a message that Lily relayed to Severus, and it worked massively. Severus felt as productive as ever in the weeks following Grace's tragic passing, throwing himself into his work. What also helped were his talks with Lily, in which he'd tell her of his memories of his old friend, reminiscing the good times they shared over the eight years Severus had known her. She was his first friend in America, other than Mister Whitehall himself that is, and she helped him loads with regard to adjusting to life on the reserve as a Thunderbird rearer. Talking each day after dinner worked wonders for Severus' grief, and he felt better each time he shared a memory or two of his old friend. His grief abated startlingly quickly, to his relief.
Lily was a great listener too, something that she wasn't all that much of back when they were friends in their schooling days. The Lily he knew at Hogwarts and before then was judgmental, quick to speak, and hardly ever let Severus fully convey his thoughts to her without butting in with her two cents, which at times were unwanted. Lily, at present, sat attentively and listened to Severus speak as he told her of how he learned to interact with Thunderbirds with Grace being his mentor. How he learned to let go of his anger and hatred, burying it deep within himself where no one would find it, Grace was the first member of the flock to open up to him after the fact. She was the first bird he'd approached, touched, petted, and befriended; and in many ways, she and Mister Whitehall represented his two guides into the wonderful world of being a Thunderbird rearer. He didn't think it was at all possible, that he could love Lily even more, yet he did, when he learned of her attentive and listening side he hadn't been privy to before. Lily oftentimes wasn't alone when he spoke either, since Harry liked to sit in as well and learn about Thunderbirds and hear Severus' stories, and Azalea was just interested in a good story and listened in as well.
Within weeks, Severus could readily admit that he was feeling far better than he had been, no longer letting his grief lord over him. Lily had said that no one could ever truly get over another's death, not entirely at least, but that by honoring their memory and their wishes they could come as close to it as possible. Lily also aptly pointed out that Severus had been doing the same regarding Mister Whitehall's death a few years back, and that his successful stewardship of the Sanctuary since his mentor's passing was the proof in the pudding that Severus was doing his best to honor his old friend's memory. When Lily said that, it served as a real eye-opener of sorts to Severus, who suddenly understood far better than before what he needed to do, and how best he could honor Grace's memory by being the best version of himself he could be. He didn't know how he'd ever thank Lily for all her help, between sharing her own advice, and always being available to attentively listen to him speak; she'd been a real godsend to him, and he struggled to think of ways in which he could repay his debt to her. Although inspiration soon came to him in the form of Harry, he vowed to take the boy under his wing and indulge his interest in all things Thunderbird related.
Two weeks after Grace's passing, on a cool, early Sunday morning, Severus returned from the barn to the sight of a massive spread of breakfast arrayed out on the kitchen table. Lily was stood next to the coatrack, halfway done removing the apron she'd tied around her waist and hanging it when she whirled around to see him. She smiled broadly, and gestured at the spread before her.
"Ta-dah!" she said with a smile. "I—um, I made breakfast. Since you made lunch yesterday, and because I figured you'd be hungry after your chores this morning. I…hope you like it."
The rangers worked at the reserve six days a week, meaning that on Sundays it was down to just Severus to manage the birds. What that meant was waking up early, feeding them in their pens while they woke, conducting checkups on the birds that were due for one, and then releasing them from their pens into the sky. He'd then go feed the six senior birds over by Scamander Hill. Usually, the rangers handled all the menial day-to-day operating of the sanctuary, the feeding, checkups, monitoring and all that, but come Sunday that duty fell to Severus himself since no one else was around. Severus, having been a former ranger himself, was well-acquainted with feeding the birds and conducting routine medical exams on them, so he felt quite at home on Sundays when he slid into his former role as a hands-on ranger. It also helped that Frank and the other five senior Thunderbirds were a huge help when it came to managing the affairs of the flock and settling disputes and quarrels between its members. So, to come home from feeding forty two birds to the sight of a piping hot breakfast made by Lily herself came as a boon to the knackered Severus.
"Wow," Severus breathed, as he slipped off his heavy work boots. He lifted his gaze to Lily's smiling face. "Did you make all this?"
Lily laughed but shook her head. "Not quite, Sev. Poesy helped some, and I got Harry to help cut the fruit. They're in the sitting room now watching the TV currently."
Severus took off his coat and hung it on one of the hooks by the door, then stepped through the foyer into the sitting room. Sure enough, the TV was showing one of the early morning cartoons, Tom & Jerry if Severus remembered correctly; Harry and Azalea were sat on cushions on the floor watching it. Harry was pointing things out to Azalea, babbling to her, while Azalea nodded fervently whenever Harry spoke, and giggled whenever Tom got the best of Jerry or vice versa. Harry noted his presence however, since he whirled around and his eyes lit up by degrees that shocked Severus with their intensity.
"Uncle Sev!" Harry exclaimed, leaping up from his cushion.
Azalea turned around as well and smiled.
"Hello you two," Severus said fondly. "Enjoying yourselves watching Muggle television, I see?"
Harry nodded, but was quick to say; "But I'd rather have gone out with you instead! Can I go with you next Sunday?"
"You'll have to ask your mother about that," Severus said gently. "And besides…it's all rather boring and not that interesting. I'm only feeding them, then letting them out of the barn after all."
Harry didn't look as though he agreed with Severus' assessment. "If my mummy says I'm allowed, can I come next time?"
Severus wasn't quite done yet with his preconditions. "You'll have to wake up at five o'clock sharp, and be ready to go by five thirty," he warned. "I feed the birds very early and let them out by seven, so you'll have to be ready to go, I don't have time to waste."
"I'll be ready!" Harry said fervently, and Severus didn't doubt the five year old's dedication even a bit. He'd seen first hand just how interested and curious Harry was about the Thunderbirds, and he knew that Lily's son was as dedicated as any Ranger was, even Severus himself, to furthering his knowledge and exposure.
"I don't think that decision is your's to make, Harry, now is it?" Lily remarked chidingly from the doorway to the sitting room.
Harry's gaze shifted from Severus to his mother, he nodded sheepishly. Lily wore a gentle smile on her lips, her arms folded across her chest as she leaned on the doorframe. "As long as Severus thinks you're ready, and can wake up early enough to accompany him, you can go with Severus next Sunday, Harry."
Harry's eyes were as wide as ever as he shifted his gaze from his mum to Severus. "Can I, Uncle Sev? Can I go with you?"
"As long as you're awake on time and don't keep me waiting, then yes," Severus agreed.
"Whoopee!" Harry yelled with joy, startling Azalea.
"But you must promise to listen to me at all times, Harry. Feeding the birds and releasing them out of the barn may seem like simple tasks on the surface, but they can be dangerous if you are foolish. You must promise to listen to whatever I—"
"—I promise Uncle Severus! I'll be good," Harry insisted.
Severus' grave look softened, and he too smiled. "Good. Then you can come with me."
Harry's smile widened to become impossibly large.
"Now that that's settled, I believe it's time for some breakfast," Lily said, and the four of them ventured from the room.
Platters of bacon, scrambled eggs, beans and toast were spread out around the middle of the table, with a steaming pot of coffee just adjacent to them. Glasses of orange juice had been filled for Harry and Azalea at their usual seats, and they wasted no time clambering into them. Lily sauntered past Severus and sat down in her usual spot between her children, with Severus claiming the final chair opposite to Lily.
They silently helped themselves to their fare, Severus loading up on the bacon and carbs to replenish his lost energy from the morning. He was quick to drink his coffee too, having guzzled two cups' worth before even having taken his first bite. Lily, by comparison, had chosen far less food for herself, a piece of toast, some eggs, and a couple rashers of bacon, no beans. Harry hadn't chosen to eat a lot either, but Azalea on the other hand had taken as much food as Harry.
"Don't eat too much pumpkin, you don't want a stomach ache later when Uncle Sev takes you out, right?" Lily warned gently.
Azalea bit her lip and shook her head, then sheepishly put some of her eggs back into the bowl.
With their food all served, they began to eat in earnest.
"So, where are we going later, Uncle Sev?" Harry asked curiously.
Severus swallowed his bite and turned his onyx eyes on the curious-looking Harry. "That'll be a surprise, Harry. But I promise that you'll enjoy it"
Harry whined and pound his little fist into the table. "Why can't you tell me?" he insisted, his petulancy giving him a stern look from Lily.
"Well that would ruin the surprise wouldn't it?" Severus pointed out, Harry's expression falling into despondency as a result.
"As Uncle Sev says, Harry, he's sure you'll enjoy it, and he hasn't been wrong about that before has he?"
"No, mummy," said Harry, shaking his head.
"Good. So when we head out later, you should listen to Uncle Sev, and if you do that, I can promise you that you'll enjoy it," Lily said soothingly.
"Will we get to feed them?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Sadly, no," Severus said with a shake of his head. He paused, taking a bite of his bacon, chewing and swallowing, before adding; "Some of the birds in the flock can get a little bit feisty come feeding time, so I'm afraid that neither you, nor your sister can be feeding them. Besides, I only feed them twice a day, at morning and night, they don't have a lunch time like we do, so we shan't be feeding them."
"They don't eat lunch?" Azalea asked, her eyes wide with concern. Considering her voracious appetite, Severus found it amusing that she of all people, was the one to ask.
"They do not, Azalea, only two meals a day is enough for their diet. But they more than make up for missing lunch by eating a massive breakfast and dinner," Severus explained, earning him a grin from the three year old.
"Speaking of diets, can either of you tell me what it is that Thunderbirds eat for their breakfast and dinner?" Severus asked Harry and Azalea.
Azalea frowned, she evidently didn't know the answer. Though Harry did, and eagerly responded; "Beef, pork and grains, right? Twice a day at morning and evenin'," he said confidently.
Severus shifted his gaze to Harry and nodded. "That is indeed correct, Harry. And when you're a bit older, maybe when you're six or seven, I'll let you feed them yourself if you promise to listen to my instructions and continue to demonstrate your ability."
That perked up Harry in an instant. "Really?" he asked, his hopefulness evident in his tone and on his face.
"Really," said Severus, smiling and nodding.
"The smaller ones, right?" Lily asked anxiously.
Severus chuckled and shook his head. "Quite the opposite. The larger birds, like Frank, Lysander, Nancy and the rest, are all well-behaved, it'd be safer for Harry to feed the larger birds than any of the younger chicks. Charlie and Desmond for instance, are amongst the most rambunctious birds in the flock."
Lily mulled over Severus' words for a moment, wearing a thoughtful expression, before nodding and turning her attention back to her food. They ate the rest of their meal swiftly, Severus complimenting Lily for her culinary talents. Once they finished, Poesy got to work cleaning up after them while they all headed into the sitting room. Harry grabbed his notebook and pencil, and followed his mum upstairs. He was supposed to work on his maths after breakfast, and Lily intended to get him started on it for the next hour and a half. Azalea, meanwhile remained downstairs with Severus, sat next to him on the couch and with one of her picture books propped open in her lap. Lily came back down a little while later and smiled as she spied Severus and Azalea on the couch. She then sat down between the two of them.
"How are you feeling?" Lily asked, her attention on Severus.
"A little tired, but otherwise alright," Severus said, sighing. "You?"
"I'm doing fine. Didn't get a lot of sleep last night thanks to this one—" she gestured at Azalea discreetly, "—but I'm mostly okay." Her tone lowered as she fixed him with a concerned look. "Do you want to talk about anything?"
Severus understood perfectly well the implication of her words, the invitation to talk about her of all things was laid bare on the table before him. For the first time since the accident, Severus shook his head. "No. I'm…I think I'm fine, Lily. Really. I've just about exhausted all my stories about Grace anyways, and I'm…" he paused, inhaling a deep breath, then exhaling, "—I feel fine, I know I'm fine. I…don't think it's necessary to…to talk."
Lily's green eyes widened a touch, brows raising closer to her hairline, but she didn't try to persuade him otherwise. She nodded and reached out for his hand, running her thumb over his palm. "If you say so, Sev. If you say you're feeling better…then I believe it, but my offer to be a willing listener is always on the table if you want to talk about her, or anything else, really."
Severus gave her a grateful nod, the smile that accompanied it light and free of stress, it told Lily that he really wasn't exaggerating, he was fine. "Thank you, I'll…take you up on that if I feel it is necessary."
"Not even that," Lily was quick to say. "Even if you're just…feeling talkative, and want to talk about something, anything, doesn't even have to do with Grace, just let me know. I think you'll find that I'm a far better listener now than I was in my youth."
"Oh, I've more than figured that out by now," Severus said lightly, thinking of the many times over the past two and a half weeks in which he'd talked to Lily for hours about anything and everything concerning his recently-departed friend.
"I think we've both changed in that regard," Lily commented, smiling back at Severus with genuine fondness in her expression. "If you don't mind me saying…you're much more open than we were as children, and I like to think I'm a much better listener than I used to be too."
"That, I can agree with," Severus chuckled.
Lily grinned, then retrieved her wand from her pocket. With a pointed jab, she summoned her notebook and pen from her room upstairs and set to work on her newest spell idea, her extinguishing charm. She summoned a few more books from Severus' shelves, books he was all too eager to loan her, and resumed her note taking in her journal. Knowing that Lily would need her space, Severus left the couch and sat down across from mother and daughter on his usual armchair. He summoned his paperwork from his office and got to work, remaining near Lily in case she needed to rely on any of his help.
For the next hour or so, Severus and Lily worked silently, concentrating on their given tasks, but Azalea slowly grew more groggy over time. Sensing her daughter's energy or lack thereof, Lily fluffed up a pillow and set it down leaning on the armrest, She laid Azalea down against the pillow, and conjured a little quilt to tuck over her. Azalea, like her mummy, had hardly slept at all last night; Lily considered it a miracle that she'd managed to remain awake for so long before finally calling it quits and succumbing to the alluring call of sleep. With her daughter tucked in against the armrest, Lily shifted further along the couch towards the opposite end to give her some space.
"Is Azalea feeling alright?" Severus asked, prying Lily's focus on her daughter's sleeping form to him.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, yeah she's fine. Just didn't sleep all that well last night, like me."
Severus' eyes drifted to the peaceful form of Azalea, snoring quietly as she laid against the armrest. "She certainly looks tired to me, she fell asleep awful quick."
Lily released a chuckle devoid of humor. "Yeah, well, don't be surprised if I join her soon after, I'm still knackered as well."
She gave a sad shake of her head. "I think I'll take a nap sometime after lunch though, before we all head out in the afternoon."
Severus' gaze briefly lingered on the bags beneath her eyes, and the bleariness obscuring her bottle-green irises. Slowly, he nodded. "I'm only planning on heading back out at three or thereabouts, assuming that Frank doesn't ask for my help with anything, so you'd have plenty of time for a nap if you want one."
Lily gave him a grateful smile and released a loud yawn, one that almost caused Azalea to stir. Lily then stretched her arms out and stood to her feet. "Can you watch Azalea for a few minutes? I'm gonna go make myself a cup of coffee. Want one?"
"Sure, if it's not too much trouble."
Lily shook her head, a handful of loose strands falling out of her braid as a result. Lily left the room then, leaving Severus behind to watch over the peacefully-sleeping Azalea. Ever since coming to the sanctuary Azalea had been a restless sleeper, which according to Lily, she'd always been dating back to when she was born. In the here and now though, tucked up against the arm of the sofa with her favorite plushie hugged tightly to her chest, she slept as soundly as a baby, her sleep unperturbed by restlessness. Up close, Severus could easily discern that Azalea looked far more like her mother than her father, save for her eyes and nose, yet her demeanor was a complete mystery to him. From his memory, neither Lily nor Potter was all that quiet and reserved, yet that was essentially the crux of Azalea's demeanor and character. The girl clearly had Lily's perceptiveness, as well as her kindness and curiosity too, but none of the rambunctiousness and mischief that made Lily, well, Lily. But as far as her introverted nature and tendency to avoid drawing attention to herself went, Severus hadn't a clue as to from where she'd gotten that. His musings stalled when Lily reappeared moments later with two cups of coffee. She wandlessly waved one through the air towards him, and kept the other cupped between her palms as she sat next to Azalea.
"Since Harry's not here Sev, mind telling me what we'll be up to later today?" she asked.
Ever his paranoid self, Severus cast his sound-muffling charm over them with a wave of his wand. "I want to introduce Harry and Azalea to more of the flock," said Severus, speaking softly as if someone might be eavesdropping. "I'm not sure if you're aware of it yet, but Harry's been pestering me as of recent, asking to meet more of the birds. So, I figured today was as good a time as ever to take him up on that. After all…my day is fairly quiet, assuming that my assistance isn't required beyond the usual feeding and letting them in and out of the barn."
"So, you think it's okay for Harry and Azalea to meet the seniors then?" Lily asked quietly. "I thought…well Margaret can be a bit unpredictable at times, no?"
"Usually not when Frank or I am there, and definitely not when we're both there. Regardless of that, I think it would be a good idea to indulge Harry's interest in the birds, he's been dying to see more of them after all."
Lily still looked a little apprehensive of the whole idea, but she trusted Severus' judgement on this matter, he was a bona fide expert after all. "So we'll be going at three o'clock then," she said, after a moment's silence.
"Yes," Severus answered simply, raising his cup to his lips to take a sip.
"And you truly believe that Harry and Azalea are ready to meet—"
"Yes," Severus cut in, with a little more insistence in his tone. He met her gaze earnestly, his eyes open, honest, and laid bare before her piercing, green-eyed gaze. "I do believe that they're ready Lily, and Harry has a real knack for this sort of stuff, don't you think I should nurture his interest in it?"
Lily couldn't begrudge Severus, and she had a good hunch as to why Severus was so insistent on furthering her young son's interest in his profession. "Are you eyeing up a successor one day, Sev? Is that the endgame to all this?"
"I can't deny that I am," Severus answered swiftly, in a display of openness and transparency that had Lily slack-jawed. "Harry does have an aptitude for this sort of thing, and if given the chance I'm sure he can be very capable as a thunderbird rearer. He has that same sparkle in his eye that I did when I was first discovering my love of all things thunderbird-related."
Severus lifted his gaze from his cup, his eyes finding Lily's. "So, yes, I do believe that if given the chance Harry can become a great Thunderbird rearer, and if I had my way, he would become one. But do rest assured Lily, I wouldn't be trying to…fan the flames of his interest, if I wasn't sure that his appreciation of the birds was genuine."
Mulling his words over and over again within her mind, she found that there was no disagreeing with him, not on this. She'd seen what Severus had spoke of first hand, hadn't she? Her son's affinity of the birds and the genuine interest he displayed towards them wasn't a secret to be hidden, but a brand that Harry wore proudly for all to see.
Later that day, Severus had finished his paperwork at three past, and was soon ready to head out for Harry and Azalea's surprise. Lily had just finished her nap, and Azalea had as well. Harry had finished his maths long before lunchtime and had spent much of the afternoon cooped up indoors, doing his best to contain his nervous energy over the fun excursion Uncle Sev had promised him. Azalea spent her time chasing after Harry and doing her best to improve her fledgling drawing abilities. Come three in the afternoon however, The Potter children and their mother were all dressed up in their most outdoorsy clothes for an afternoon spent out on the range. Lily continued to keep up the charade of being just as ignorant about the outing as Harry and Azalea were, but that didn't dissuade Harry in the slightest from pestering his mum about what Uncle Sev had planned for them.
"C'mon Mummy, you really don't know what Uncle Sev planned for us?" Harry whinged. They were stood on the porch, waiting for Severus to come join them.
"I don't know anything Harry, so stop asking and sit still. Uncle Sev will be here soon, so you just have to be a little patient."
Harry pouted and folded his arms across his chest, by contrast, the younger of the Potter siblings seemed far more stoic and reserved about it. Although Lily knew that her daughter was probably almost as excited as Harry was about getting to see the birds up-close again. The front door opened moments later and out came Severus, wearing thick jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. He held his whistle in hand and walked past the three of them down the porch and onto the gravel.
"I'm going to call Frank in a moment, so keep still everyone."
Harry's eyes were wide, and he bounced on the heels of his feet in excitement as Severus brought the seemingly-silent whistle to his lips and blew. Frank came soaring in mere seconds later, skimming the tops of the firs with his massive, grey wings, before coming to land on the gravel. He crowed loudly, throwing his head back in a flourish that had Severus wheezing and gasping for breath. Frank's antics always cracked him up and his penchant for overdramatic entrances was something that Severus had grown to appreciate, and even find humorous, over the years.
The grey-feathered beast knelt down before Severus, allowing him to run his fingers through his crown. "Hello Frank, it's good to see you too," Severus said softly. "I'd like you to help me with something, can you do that?"
Frank nodded, releasing a high, happy trill along with his gesture.
"Can you gather the other senior birds and tell them to meet at your hilltop? I'd like to introduce them to some friends of mine. You're not needed elsewhere at the moment, are you?"
Frank shook his head this time and released a lower croon which Severus understood to be a 'no.'
"Good. So you'll be able to help me?"
Frank stepped away from Severus, his lightning-crackling eyes briefly finding Lily, Harry and Azalea, then drifting back to Severus. He nodded. Without another word, he rose into the air and took off over the treetops, kicking up dust as he went.
"Where's he going?" Harry asked, his dejection evident in his tone.
Severus turned around and banished the cloud of dust that'd enveloped him with a wave of his wand. "He's gone to find some friends Harry, now we're going to go follow him. Into the truck everyone."
Severus and Lily helped Harry and Azalea into the pickup truck, and after ensuring their belts were fastened, they took their seats in front. Severus turned the ignition and set off down the dirt path which would lead to Scamander Hill, named after the famous Magizoologist who first brought Frank to the reserve. It also served as the main meeting place between the six senior thunderbirds, and Severus knew that Frank would choose for them to congregate there.
"Where are we going Uncle Severus?" Harry asked, as Severus sped off down the dirt road.
Without shifting his eyes off the road, Severus asked; "Do you remember where the senior Thunderbirds like to meet?"
"Oh! Scamander Hill, right?"
"That's right," Severus said, gripping the wheel tightly as the Ford began its upward ascent. "We're going there now where Frank will have gathered the remaining seniors. I believe that you and your sister have only met Lysander and Nancy, yes?"
He could see Harry and Azalea both nod in the overhead mirror. Meeting their gaze through said mirror, he asked; "Wouldn't you like to meet Elsie, Margaret and Tobias as well?"
Harry's eyes widened, and he nodded as fast as his neck would allow. Azalea also looked excited at the mere prospect of seeing more Thunderbirds, but Severus could also see a little bit of apprehension in her chubby features. Soon enough, they reached the top of Scamander Hill, Severus parking the truck at the edge of the tree-line. When they hopped out, the sight that would meet Harry, Lily and Azalea's eyes would be forever ingrained in their memory for the rest of their lives. Six, powerful, majestic beasts stood in a circle, facing the truck. Frank was in the middle, flanked by Lysander and Nancy; Elsie, Margaret and Tobias further along the circle. The birds were all unique, the colors of their feathers, their patterns, their sizes, all different from one another; but their shared majestical presence was enough to wow even the most experienced of Thunderbird rearers.
Frank, the largest of the group, raised his head high and released a loud, booming croon, startling the newcomers save for Severus.
"Easy Frank," Severus said sternly, meeting the flock-leader's gaze dead on with his hardened, onyx eyes. "We have a young one here, so don't startle her, am I clear?"
Frank seemed to catch his meaning, and even adopted what Severus supposed could pass as a sheepish look. Severus sighed and gestured for Lily, Harry and Azalea to follow him to the edge of the clearing.
He stood just ahead of his companions between the six birds and them, then said; "Harry, Azalea, I'd like you to meet the seniors of the flock, would you like to come with me and meet them? It'll be safe, I promise." The last statement was more for Lily's benefit rather than her children's, but he still uttered it nonetheless.
When Severus met Lily's gaze briefly, he could see her trust in his judgement, in him, reflected clearly in her beautiful, green eyes. She gave the subtlest of nods as if to say it was alright with her. Severus smiled, grateful to have her trust in him, then turned to Harry and Azalea, kneeling so he was level with them. "Do you want to meet them?"
Harry was quick to nod, his eyes wide and eager, his lip wobbling from nervous excitement. To Severus' surprise, however, Azalea also answered in the affirmative, wanting to follow her brother.
"I want to go with mummy too," Azalea said with as much courage as she could muster.
Severus' smile widened, nodding at the girl before lifting his head to meet Lily's gaze. "Is mummy alright with that?"
Lily smiled down at the kneeling form of Severus. "Mummy is absolutely alright with that, and she would've insisted that she come regardless of anyone asking for her or not."
Severus smirked up at her, then stood to his full height and held out his hands for Harry and Azalea to take. "You'll be safe, just stick by me, you two."
Harry and Azalea nodded, staring up at their Uncle Sev with wide, trusting eyes. Together, the four of them stepped into the sun, and approached the circle of Thunderbirds. Six pairs of stormy, grey eyes met the approaching humans, staring at them intently and curiously. Frank, Nancy and Lysander were all familiar with Severus and Harry, and to a lesser extent with Lily and Azalea as well. The remaining trio in Tobias, Elsie and Margaret however had never met any of the three smaller humans accompanying their friend Severus. Their eyes lingered on the human with flaming, red hair, the smaller doppelgänger of her, and the boy with messy black hair; observing them intently.
Many hours later that day, Severus and Lily were sat in the former's sitting room, nursing a couple glasses of wine after a successful excursion earlier in the afternoon. Lily had just put Harry and Azalea to bed, bother her children sleeping like the dead after a tiring afternoon out in the hot sun. Lily herself was rather tired but Severus convinced her to stay up a little while longer and that a glass or two of wine would do her some good. She agreed, and so she found herself heading downstairs to the sitting room where Severus was waiting for her. She sat down next to him and accepted the glass he offered her.
"That went well," she began, breaking the silence between them.
Severus took a sip from his glass and nodded. "I'd be inclined to agree with that. Very well if I do say so myself."
"Yeah, I get Harry's positive reception to all that, but I would not have guessed that it would've been a hit with Azalea as well. She was practically asleep on her feet before I even tucked her in just now," she chuckled.
Severus sent Lily a sidelong look. "She's sleeping alright?"
"Oh yeah, went right out like a light," Lily said, chuckling. "James and I could never figure out a way to put her to bed that quickly, I guess I now know the trick. Show her thunderbirds, tire her out some, and she'll fall asleep faster than you can say Expelliarmus."
She noticed a brief tensing of his features at the mention of her ex, but he was quick to school himself to impassivity shortly after. Tentatively, she reached for his hand, her fingers winding around his, she hoped that if there was any tension remaining it would be gone with that.
"Thank you, Sev, for today, for the afternoon, all of it. My kids weren't the only ones that loved it out there."
That got him to look at her; his dark, penetrating eyes resting on her's. "You enjoyed it too?"
She inclined her head forward in the affirmative. "I certainly did. Although something tells me I enjoyed it more because of the company I kept over anything else." She leaned away and lifted her wineglass to her lips, took a sip.
She sighed languidly as the liquid trickled down her throat, relaxing her mind. "You might've made me a convert, Sev. Seeing all those incredible birds lined up like that, gazing at us like the most regal creatures ever…it was incredible to see. I loved it."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Severus said earnestly, smiling happily. His lips then pursed together in a thin line, his expression turning morose, even sad, and Lily had no clue what the cause of it was.
"I—um, I've been meaning to say for a while now, that if…if you ever find that spellcrafting isn't the thing for you, you're always welcome to have a home here, you can always come back and have a roof over your head, your kids too, of course."
"Have a roof over…wait Sev, what are you saying?"
Severus smiled wanly over at her, a look that was quite nearly sad on his features. "All I'm saying is that…once you decide to move out to further your career, after you've gotten back on your feet and are ready to make a name for yourself…if you ever need a place to stay, you can always…come back, if you want." Lily might've missed the sadness in his expression, but it was impossible to miss it from his tone of voice.
"Sev…I—I don't plan on leaving," she said softly. "I really mean it, unless you want to kick me out that is—" she chuckled mirthfully, "—in that case I request at least a month's warning if you do decide to chuck me out, I'd appreciate the advanced not—"
"Lily, I would never throw you out, ever," Severus said fiercely, his tone harsh. "I literally just said you'll always have a place to come back to here if you want one."
"But I don't want to leave Sev, I want…" she swallowed thickly. "I want us to figure things out, okay? I know of your…well it's no secret how you feel about me right?" Severus nodded ashamedly, his eyes lowered.
"Hey c'mon Sev, don't do that. Look at me, look right at me." Severus lifted his head slowly until his onyx eyes found her emerald ones.
"One day, I do see a future for us. I just…I want time, is all. But some day down the line I do want us to give romance a go. I have no intention of leaving, Sev, not willingly at least."
"You're saying you see a future for me, for us," Severus croaked, his voice hoarse.
"I do," Lily was swift to reply, her tone brokering not even an inch for argument. "I really do. And what really proves that to me is the way you interact with Harry, and even with Azalea too. How many other men out there are as dedicated to a divorced woman's children as you are, huh?"
She dared him to answer, her eyes hard and challenging, but she knew she had him cornered when she pulled out that proverbial card. If she was being entirely honest with herself, and Severus, she couldn't have hoped for better with regard to his treatment and care of her two, young children.
"I wouldn't know," Severus muttered lowly. "I hardly spend my time thinking about how other single men would treat the children of a young, divorced woman; so I'm willing to trust your expertise in the area for the time being."
Lily couldn't help it, try as she might, she was unable to rein in the uproarious laughter that spilled forth from her lips. The alcohol certainly didn't help matters as she laughed 'til her lungs hurt from Severus' quip.
"You're still such a git," she said, punching his arm in jest.
"That I am. And yet you're foolish enough to come here for refuge. What's the saying after all…birds of a feather flock together?"
Lily gasped, laying her free hand across her chest in a show of mock-shock. "Okay first of all, you're the one that invited me here because you thought it'd help me give me a fresh start—"
"It has, has't it?" Severus butted in.
"Yes it has but that's hardly the point," Lily snapped. "Secondly, are you insinuating that I am a git?"
"Why yes, I am. You claimed that I am a git, to which I will hold my hand up and acknowledge that I am, and I correctly deduced that you are one too," Severus said, his lips curled upwards into a smirk.
That got him a smack on the arm. "Honestly Severus, put a little alcohol in you and you can become such an arsehole," she muttered, but without real malice.
Severus' eyes shone brilliantly. He lifted his glass in a mockery of a toast, then shrugged and raised his glass to his lips.
"Getting back to what I was saying, Sev, I…don't feel ready for romance yet, I just want to focus on Harry and Azalea, help them adjust to this new environment we're in, and to also focus on getting my career get off the ground, you've been really helpful with that by the way—"
"—I do try," Severus chuckled.
"In more ways than anyone else I've known, and for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart," Lily said in kind. "But in all seriousness Sev, I do think that when all is said and done and I've…laid my roots, so to speak, I am intrigued by the prospect of chasing something with you, and I can comfortably admit that I love the way you've welcomed not just myself into my life, but all the proverbial baggage I bring along."
"Your children aren't baggage to me, they're more like carry-on's, not a real inconvenience to me at all…just a—hmm, an accoutrement, I guess you could say," Severus joked, his eyes glimmering with mirth.
Lily laughed again, then sighed as she slumped into the cushions of the sofa some more. Lily stared blankly up at the ceiling, a hazy look in her eyes as she sighed again. Severus tentatively reached out for her hand, and felt her fingers curl around his in turn in a promising gesture. He smiled.
"What I do know for certain, Sev, is that I want my next relationship to be my last. I want to be with someone who…I complement, who can challenge me, can make me a better person, and I can do the same to them. But above all else, I want someone in my life, as my partner, who will always treat me and my children with respect." She met his gaze then, her eyes less hazy than before as they bored deep into Severus. "I think I've found that with you," she said with brutal honesty. "And when I am ready to try and…love again, to enter a relationship I hope will last as long as I do, the first person I think of, is you."
Stunned into silence by her carefree and open admission, Severus could only muster a slack jaw and a dumb nod as the reality of Lily's words washed over him. Severus had trouble falling asleep later that night after his…unexpected talk with Lily. Her open and candid discussion about romance, and her thoughts and ideas surrounding her ideal partner had taken him by surprise—making his mind run a mile a minute. He eventually fell asleep sometime past two am, and thanked the heavens as he drifted off that his staff would be on hand tomorrow and that he wouldn't have to wake up at five o'clock again.
A/N2: Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
So, with the help of those around him, Severus is coming to terms with Grace's death. Regarding potential romance between Severus and Lily, spoiler alert, it will happen, I still think they're not that close to it just yet and they've still got some baggage to settle and some misunderstandings to clear up with one another. After that, then of course it will be on the cards for them, but at present, they've still got too much on their plate.
On a more seriousness note, my thoughts and prayers are with all those involved in the senseless, terrible war unfolding in Ukraine. To all of Ukraine, her innocents and her soldiers; and to the Russian soldiers who were sent to wage war by a soulless monster(fuck Putin), I pray for a swift and peaceful end to the violence and for minimal bloodshed on both sides.