AN: Thank you so damn much for the immense support. I love all of you. I will try to update my stories more frequently.
CHAPTER III: Questions
RYAN'S POV
"Follow me, Tigress."
I lead her to the dining room table and I pull out a seat, being the gentleman that I am.
"Please, have a seat. I'll bring you some noodles shortly."
She sits down.
"Now, Tigress. If you have any questions at all about me and this world. Feel free to ask them now."
"Okay...what...are you? Your species that is."
"I'm glad you asked that. I am a human. Of the human race."
"Human race? You mean there are others like you?"
"Mhm. Seven billion to be exact."
"Seven...billion…?"
"Yep. And counting."
"How can this world hold so many people?"
"Well, some other humans say that overpopulation is becoming a big deal, but I say that's a load of bullshit. Humans are born everyday. And humans die everyday. If anything, the world is perfectly balanced."
"Language."
"Ah, sorry."
I walk over to the kitchen (Which is connected to the dining room) and I open some of the cabinets where I put my noodle stash.
Which flavor would she like?...
…
Oh boy…
Ooooh boy…
Ohhh God…
Why me?
Why?...
Of all bedrooms to teleport to…?
Of all beds…
It had to be mine…
Okay…
Just keep rummaging through the cabinet, pretend you're perfectly fine.
I look behind me…
Whew…
Thank God she's still sitting there on that dining room chair.
Last thing I need is for her to snoop around my things and find something she doesn't need to find…
Shit, that reminds me…
…
My 9MM Pistol…
Okay, Ryan. Don't get paranoid. It's in a lockbox, shoved high above my closet. She wouldn't be able to find it if she tried.
Besides...she wouldn't even know what to do with it. Hell, she wouldn't even know how to use it.
Okay, Tigress...I hope you like spicy lime shrimp flavor…
I pulled out the cup, ripped off the paper and saran wrap, opened the lid halfway, nabbed the water jug from the fridge, poured in the water and popped that shit in the microwave.
"What are you doing?" Tigress asked.
"Making your noodles. Do you like em hot?"
"Well...yes…"
I pressed in 3:30 on the dial pad and hit start.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
"What is that black box that's making that noise?"
"Well. In this world, we humans call this a microwave. It's a machine we humans use to heat up our food. And right now, it's heating up your noodles. While it's heating. Do you have any more questions?"
"Well... what's the deal with those papers on your room walls. Who are those people? What are those papers symbolizing?"
"Well they're posters for popular movies and video games."
"What's a movies?"
"The correct term is movie or film. And a movie...well...have you ever been to a play, Master Tigress?"
"Once, I believe."
"Well simply put, a movie is like a play, it has a script, it has actors and it tells a story. Except it's more...er... realistic…"
"How so?"
"Well, say in a play, a man gets his throat slit. In the play, the actor would just hold on to his throat and make choking noises. In a movie. They would make a special little fake neck made up of rubber like material and fill it with red liquid to simulate blood. Then they'd have the actor wear the fake neck on his actual neck. And then during the scene were his throat gets slit, they'd cut through the fake neck and fake blood would ooze out, making it look like his throat really got cut open."
"That's...rather…disturbing...yet intriguing…"
"I'll have to show you a movie so you can see it for yourself. I have some pretty good ones I could show you."
"I think I'd probably like that…"
I smiled. I'm a bit of a cinephile so showing movies to someone who's never seen any is my dream come true.
"What's a Video Game? Is it like a game you play? Like checkers?"
"Well not exactly. This one is a bit more complicated to explain. So I'll have to show you later, 'kay?"
"Alright…"
"You'll have to forgive me. I'm not used to explaining this stuff. I'm not used to getting visitors either."
"That must get quite lonely."
Why did that hit so close to home?….fuck…
"Yeah...it does…"
BEEP BEEP BEEP
I opened the microwave and took the noodles out. I removed the lid, put the noodles in a bowl, mixed the spices around and grabbed two chopsticks from the drawer. I then put on a fake smile, hiding my expression of existential loneliness as I placed the bowl on the table and handed her her chopsticks.
"This world has chopsticks too?"
"You'd be surprised at what this world has."
She took in a few noodles.
…
"Wow...these are...amazing...Mmm... I've never tried noodles like this."
"I'm glad you like em."
"This is almost as good as Mr. Ping's."
Eat your heart out, Ping. Ha!
"So, Tigress. Tell me, what do you do? Er...well I mean, what did you do, before coming here that is?
"Mm, well. I was a member of an elite group of Kung Fu warriors. The Furious Five of The Jade Palace. Our main purpose is to defend China from anyone who dares to threaten it."
I should probably refrain from telling her about my world's version of China. She's on a need to know basis, and she doesn't need to know.
I need to know, however, which version of Tigress I'm talking to. She's wearing her Red Qipao so I'm guessing either one or two. Still, wouldn't hurt to ask.
"So, what kind of threat have you dealt with recently?"
"Apart from the usual bandits and thugs, sometimes we have to deal with major threats. The most recent, being an undead supernatural Ox named Kai. He managed to break out of the spirit realm and wreaked havoc on the valley."
Post-KFP 3?
Fascinating!
"So, how'd you defeat this Kai?"
"I didn't...the Dragon Warrior. He did."
After telling me the whole story about the Dragon Warrior and the villains they faced, even though I had already knew the story. It was still interesting to hear it in her own words, it was definitely quite the experience. What I found most intriguing was when she told me about Ke-Pa. Which shows that Legends of Awesomeness is cannon in her universe. Epic.
She had finished her noodles and I took her bowl and sticks, and put them in the sink for later. I know she has many more questions, I'm sure. But first…
Movie time.
"So Tigress. Would you like to see a movie?"
"Yes. I'd like that. My curiosity is definitely peaked."
"Stay right here. I'll be back."
I went to my room and shut the door behind me. I quickly locked it shut and barricaded it with my computer desk.
Okay. First things first. I quickly grabbed my Kung Fu Panda DVDs. Every one of them. Even my Kung Fu Panda video games. I quickly shoved them deep under my bed and covered them with whatever I could find. There we go. She'll never find them now…
Whew...that's a weight off my shoulders. Now to pick a movie.
Now to be on the absolute safest of safe sides, I can't show her any movies with actors from the KFP films…
So that leaves Nacho Libre off the table.
And considering she told me about Kai, that means no J.K. Simmons, so the Spider-Man Trilogy is off. Damn. No Whiplash either…
No Lucy Liu, so that means no Payback and no Kill Bill, dammit...she probably would've liked that one…
No Jackie Chan...man...this sucks…
No Seth Rogen…...I never liked any of his films anyway so, eh...no biggie….
No Gary Oldman, so Air Force One, The Book of Eli and Léon: The Professional can't be shown...man I can't even show her CoD World at War either...fuck this is harder than I thought…
And dammit, no Ian McShane. So that means no John Wick either...
Of course, definitely no Angelina Jolie movies, but fortunately the only ones I have are those Tomb Raider movies of hers. So...
Let's see...Oooh Blade Runner, Fight Club, Drive! American Psycho! Okay, this ain't half bad.
But what would she like?…
Of course!
Why didn't I think of it before?
It's perfect…
It's got Kung Fu, it's got good vs evil and the whole chosen one schtick. It's fucking PERFECT!
I unbarricaded my door and opened it to see Tigress, still sitting on her chair. Her ears perk up and she looks towards me.
"Found one! I think you're gonna love this one."
I show her the DVD…A look of confusion sits on her face.
"What is it?"
"Oh, right my bad, you probably can't read my language."
"But we speak the same language."
"Yeah, it's confusing for me too."
"So...what is it?"
…
...
…
"The Matrix!"