A/N: An anonymous idiot on tumblr sent this ask the December before S4 came out: Hello, a TJLC-er here. I was sitting here laughing at the sherlolly tag when I found some of your "metas" as you so naively call them. I must say they are some of the most disappointing I have ever read. Really, we TJLCers spoil ourselves with our fantastic writers. Your arguments are weakly supported and frankly full of fallacies. Truly you have the analytical insight of an 8th grader. Have fun in S4 when Johnlock gets canon, Bye!
Here is the (Cracky, Rated K+, Warstany) response I posted. Enjoy, and thank you as always for your marvelous reviews!
Sherlock gave it a critical look. "Are you, er, sure about this, John?"
His best friend patted the bronze statuette proudly. "Yup. Mary let slip that she went to Fort Pulaski as a kid and was really impressed by the cannons. So I had this one shipped here specially from their gift shop."
Sherlock glanced over at Molly, who shrugged and grimaced as if to say, who are we to burst his balloon? Unfortunately John caught the look. "What?" he demanded, clutching the cannon closer. "What did that mean, that look?"
With another glance at Sherlock, Molly walked over and laid a hand on John's arm. "John, you know Mary loves you, right? And you love her?" He nodded warily. "Well, the thing is…she also mentioned how glad she is not to have any reminders of her old life around, now that's she's made a new one she loves so much better. So if it was me, speaking strictly as a friend…"
"…you don't think Mary needs the cannon to know how much I love her," John sighed. He gave it one last, regretful look, then passed it over to Sherlock. "How about you, mate? Fancy a cannon?"
"Nah," Sherlock said, tossing it onto the sofa and pulling a giggling Molly into his arms. "I'll take a real relationship over a fake cannon any day."
John grinned as they kissed…but wondered what the heck to get his wife for their anniversary now.