Written for Molly Hoopoer Appreciation Weeks Fall 2019, Day 1 - Fake Relationship (where Molly pretends to date someone) / Secret Relationship (where the relationship Molly is in is kept secret for some reason) / Clueless Dating (where Molly and/or her SO don't realize they're dating but everyone else does).

Rated K, hope you enjoy!

"So let me get this straight," Molly said slowly. "For a case, you need me to pretend we're dating." Sherlock nodded. "But because of the nature of the case, I have to be a secret fake girlfriend. As in, the suspect needs to think he's discovered our secret relationship because he's a blackmailer who specializes in people who have secret relationships."

"Exactly!" Sherlock beamed at her approvingly. "It's perfect!"

Molly eyed him suspiciously, having the feeling she was missing something.. "Why is it perfect, exactly?"

He gave her a look of what she interpreted as fond exasperation. "Because, Molly, we can continue to keep our actual relationship a secret, just as you want us to! Afterwards we can just tell everyone it was just for the case - well, I suppose we should tell John beforehand, he does tend to rant when I 'keep things from him'." He made little air quotes as Molly continued to stare at him, utterly flabbergasted. He bit his lip and peered anxiously at her. "Unless," he continued, more slowly, with an expression of doubt creeping into his eyes, "you'd rather not? I mean, yes, it will entail hand-holding and dancing and some light kissing, and I know we agreed that you should set the pace but to be honest I've been getting a bit impatient and I thought this fake secret relationship would allow us to test out the more, erm, physical aspects without the pressure of actually-"

Molly finally found her voice. "Sherlock!" she exclaimed, staring at him wide-eyed. "Slow down, I just...are you trying to tell me you think we've actually been dating? For real?"

He frowned. "No, not dating," he corrected her crossly. "In a relationship, yes, but not dating. Or at least, not dating dating. Not until this ball thingy Friday next." His frown deepened. "Are you saying you won't go with me? You're not ready for that next step?"

She couldn't help it; she laughed as she stepped closer and flung her arms round his neck. "Sherlock, you daft man," she said as she tiptoed up so she could rub her nose against his, "one of these days you'll have to remember to use your words, all right? Not just go into one of your buffering modes and then emerge a few minutes later thinking you've spoken aloud when you actually haven't."

He blinked down at her, his expression now utterly confounded. "I - did I do that? I haven't done that since John asked me to be his best man, have I?"

"A few times, but those other times I was able to work it out pretty quickly," she told him, still grinning. It wasn't every day she got to confuse Sherlock Holmes, after all, and she was very glad to have managed it today. Without a second thought, she pulled his face down, still on the tips of her toes, and murmured, "I'd love to be your fake secret girlfriend, Sherlock, you clueless git!" Then she kissed him, and by the eager way he responded, she suspected their slow-going 'relationship' (which only he'd been aware of, although come to think of it, Greg and Mrs. Hudson had made some comments she'd have to rethink at some future point) would soon be on the fast-track.